An American Opinion on Humor and Humour || US vs UK cultural differences

[@jackthebassman1]

When my dear much beloved dad who was unbelievably picky over food, died, I was wrecked; after the service at the crematorium, I was still wrecked and a good friend came up to me and said “he was a legend wasn’t he?” She then said “he hated barbecues didn’t he?” - l looked up at the smoke coming out of the chimney and said “He’s fxcking got one now hadn’t he”? We all pissed ourselves laughing, I know dad would have laughed his socks off too. Still miss him x

[@ChrisBetton]

This is really interesting. I'm English, and when you were talking about humour at funerals it made me think of when they dropped my dad at his and we all absolutely pissed ourselves laughing. He'd have loved it! My eulogy was just twenty minutes of sharing the funniest stories about him and we all had an amazing time. I would go so far as to say my dad's funeral was one of the happiest days of my life. We celebrated him - we all wore Christmas jumpers in October and had Christmas Dinner at the do, and just spent the whole day sharing stories about how brilliant he was an laughing at his quirks. One of my opening jokes from my eulogy was about this nervous tick he had where he would pretty much pie-face himself with one hand across his nose - it had genuinely sent his nose askew over sixty years of doing it. Self-conscious of this, he decided at the end of his life to switch hands in the hopes of correcting it. So he's absent-mindedly slap himself with one hand, and then get annoyed that he'd forgot to use his other and slap himself with that one straight after. Absolutely brilliant 😂 Comedy is supposed to heal us. It's supposed to be a way of taking ownership of a situation - not coping or avoiding, but tackling head-on and saying "this situation will not get the better of me" as we ridicule it. It's defiant! It's part of the old stiff-upper-lip mentality of "oh well, things are shit, so we might as well have a laugh".

[@bernadettelanders7306]

Very well said. I get you totally. I posted a link above how Brit Stephen Fry explains it. I’m Aussie and I get British humour more than USA. I don’t believe Americans express their feelings and we don’t. We express our feelings of joy happiness and sadness and grief and we don’t hide, we express our feelings or we’d explode. I can’t find the Stephen Fry Link about differences between USA and UK humour . Lost amongst the chatter . It’s an excellent vid on differences in humour.

[@vilebrequin6923]

​@@bernadettelanders7306here it is...kzbin.info/www/bejne/bpyVcpWniaerl9E

[@flovonnejohnson707]

American here, when my brother passed away it was basically just a bunch of family and friends telling funny stories about him and a lot of laughter. My brother was a person with a sunny personality and my entire (giant) family are pretty open and tend to believe they are comedians. I think for Americans it depends on the dynamics of the family and the personality of the person who passed. When it comes to expressing humor at a funeral 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@Millysgarden]

I lived in Canada for awhile and a big difference I noticed was that Americans and Canadians don’t self depricate in the same way we do. A huge part of our culture is based on piss taking of ourselves and eachother.. nearly always its in good nature but it does sometimes go over the edge into subtle bullying. We aren’t comfortable expressing our emotions in quite the same way so we use humour to express ourselves I think.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Self deprecation is such a big part of British humour as well - being willing to make fun of yourself is important!

[@maryandrews4097]

@youngmummy2b As a woman, sometimes Bitish male banter can be a bit intimidating if one is not quick-witted and if one is and somewhat crisp in riposte, then one is sometimes labelled as a sourpuss.

[@Uk5haky]

good points. I get the feeling if I was in the US I would get shot if I talked like I do In England.

[@allibee9184]

I literally said this to a friend yesterday 😂 our humour is the best

[@ddg0907]

As an American raised by a Brit, I feel like anything I do to slightly piss someone off can get me shot. I want to use humor but feel I can’t. Feel like you have more free speech in the UK honestly.

[@terrymason8628]

UK and USA separated by language, and 6000 miles of ocean, thank fuck

[@onelife7247]

@ukshaky3866 Exactly what I think too. Also, due to everything being so ego-driven in America; self-deprecating humour is incomprehensible in America so they foolishly assume we all have collective low self-esteem issues. Also, they’re obsessed with race and segregation in a way Europe just isn’t. I consider it rude - not funny to persistently point out someone’s black/white....

[@mikefraser4513]

"Sarcasm" that's what UK police use instead of guns

[@nigelmchugh5541]

Taking the Mickey out of someone is a very sure-fire way to assess the other person's sense of humour, and whether you will need to be a "bit careful" around them. "Giving as good as you get" is highly appreciated.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

I never had a much fun meeting people as I did when I was in Scotland (hanging out with Northern Irish, English, and Scots). There was so much ribbing and joking. Makes me want to meet them all over again!

[@stevenartmann2642]

Taking the piss out of someone is a sign of endearment, as you know it can be merciless, especially between friends.

[@rudacr]

I think you hit the nail on the head with the 'dead-pan delivery', I think that's probably the biggest difference between our senses of humour. You also touched upon a point about us Brits using sarcasm or insults to gauge people's intellect, this can be true but i think it's more often used to gauge a person's mood or receptiveness to a situation, and as you pointed out, to try and make them feel comfortable.

[@MagentaOtterTravels]

Matthew, the thing I enjoy so much about your channel is that your analysis and comparisons are very well thought out and you appreciate the nuances between our cultural differences. So many people just discuss the differences with a broad brush, which is at times too shallow and misguided.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Thank you both so much! I really appreciate the compliments! We do want to produce content that actually adds value to the conversations, and not just "listicles" that are copied from somewhere else. It means a lot that you notice/appreciate that!

[@babycakes8918]

I think the lack of sarcasm is really evident in American sitcoms. It’s there but normally really exaggerated to show that it’s sarcasm. Whereas British sitcoms are dripping in it 😂.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Definitely. Sarcasm is almost always "signposted" to make sure everyone knows that you don't really think whatever it is that you said.

[@babycakes8918]

Because nobody wants to offend or get in trouble for offending

[@urphakeandgey6308]

This. American sarcasm is not the same as British sarcasm. British sarcasm is a lot more subtle and often even contains a grain of truth. That's what makes it funnier to me.

[@lawrenceglaister4364]

​​@@SchaeferFamilyAdventure , on my fathers funeral, at the cremation place on the drive there was a sign pointing upwards ( It was a one way system ) I naturally said " oh look , that's nice they are telling us which way he will be going ' everyone ( 6 ) started to laugh as well as the driver , so did everyone else when we told them and all had a smile when he was taken through the crem . If I go to a hospital with people before I go in I always tell everyone " don't cry or be sad because it's the last thing they want to see , be normal and try to do a joke if it's ok "

[@DanDanceDude]

American Office humor had to be changed from British Office because Americans weren’t understanding the sarcasm especially with Michael Scott. They had to make him more likeable…Americans wanted him to be more optimistic and not so negative.

[@Jonners97]

Interesting video, I've often wondered. In the US friends say such positive things to each other, which we would never say. And to a British person, there is almost an unwritten rule that if you really believe someone is a true friend, it doesn't need to be said; and conversely, if it is said, its probably because it isn't true. If you know already, it isn't necessaryto say it, and shouldn't be said. There is an element of irony, a sort of experimentation of meaning. Sometimes we don't know if we're joking, it's delicious.

[@stefanieprince48]

In America what we say is what we mean, we are straightforward and to the the point. If we have a close friend we value, we believe in letting them know, and repeatedly so they will not forget. I hate mind games and prefer to know where I stand with people so that I don’t waste my time and efforts. Time is money in America and we all realize life is too short to be wasted on people who don’t care for you. We are all really just trying to find “our people” and don’t care to waste time at it.

[@Missydee-72]

Yes it’s perfectly clear that money is the most important thing to some Americans. Pity there are no pockets in shrouds.

[@dogbenson77]

Ricky Gervais wrote a pretty good essay on the differences. Worth a read.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

I actually read some stuff by Ricky in my quest to understand humour! V insightful.

[@TheSleightDoctor]

Brit here. I would say the Americans understand sarcasm as well as any nation, it's just that Brits can't help but use it in the most wildly inappropriate contexts, which sometimes catches Americans off-guard. But some Americans do exactly the same thing. Chandler from Friends was a character beloved on both sides of the pond for his sarcastic wit, and complete inability to take any situation seriously. The more sombre the moment, the more you could rely on Chandler to deliberately say the wrong thing! A very British trait indeed.

[@hot5and77]

I don't think we necessarily use humour to hide our sadness. There was a lot of humour at my Dad's funeral and the general feeling is that he would have hated people being miserable. He liked a good laugh and it's sort of out respect for him that people have a joke. There was also a lot of sadness too though so it's not a binary option. We tend to do both.

[@MillsyLM]

At my dad's funeral in 2017 we left the crematorium to the theme from The Great Escape! He would have loved that it definitely lightened the mood. When my mother in law passed last year she was a Cliff Richard fan so we went out to Summer Holiday!

[@sarahjoines9343]

I’m a cliff fan. I told my husband I want a cliff song played at my funeral. And if I get hit by a bus I want summer holiday

[@TriciaBooth]

I experienced this on a visit to America, when coming out of the hotel to leave, a member of staff offered to help carry the bags to the car. As he heaved the suitcase into the boot (trunk) of the car, I said "So, this is how you keep fit then?". He looked confused, and said, "No, I go to the gym." (So that bombed.) And also, only now I know that I should have given him a tip, but in the UK that rarely happens.

[@stefanieprince48]

Well basically you insulted him because you insinuated that his job was the only way he could afford to get fit, as if he would be too poor to pay for a gym membership. You made him sound desperate or made him feel as if the only reason he had muscles was because of his job, like making fun of him doing manual labor. How rude this must have seemed to him. In America we have a thing called manners, you never make fun of a persons job especially if you realize they are financially below you. We absolutely would never make fun of someone in the service industry. What you should have said was how nice your visit was or name something you specifically enjoyed, thanked him and given him 5 dollars.

[@stefanieprince48]

It’s also called being tactful…seriously look it up, I have never met a British person that had any.

[@TriciaBooth]

@@stefanieprince48 LOL you just demonstrated perfectly what this thread is about.

[@stefanieprince48]

@@TriciaBooth I don’t think people realize just how volatile and temporary American society can be, Americans haven’t forgotten the civil war and how the people starved during the Great Depression, people in this country who actually work take it extremely serious and a job is never something to be made light of because it is so volatile there is always a fear in the back of people’s minds that they can lose their jobs at any minute. Most of Europe when you work in a job it’s forever, and then you get a pension, here it’s every man for himself kind of and you have to grab every opportunity you can this can seem greedy to outsiders, you may see a man taking out trash for a living one day and the next he’s running the best restaurant in town and driving a luxury sports car. I just don’t think people think about this and making a jab at someone’s job isn’t kosher.

[@robertadavies4236]

​@@stefanieprince48But that's exactly the point. She wasn't making fun of the porter, or implying he's poor or has a lousy job, or anything else. She was making a very mild comment on the objective fact that his job includes a lot of walking and carrying things. You could make exactly the same joke to a postman, or a hospital porter. (Come to think of it, I seem to remember making essentially the same joke to a hospital porter who was wheeling me to be X-rayed once.) In Britain this would be a pleasant way to express friendly sympathy with a sometimes hard job, and the expected reaction would be a mild chuckle and agreement.

[@ВладимирЧерников-л5ч]

The vibe of Uk/Aussie comedy is something you would want to have while living through a terrible situation, like been imprisoned etc, whereas American comedy is something you could never feel in such a situation but could only have after been freed from such a situation, one is almost a way of coping with the harsh realities of life, elements of tragedy etc, the other is something that comes from a more privileged position that is easier to be in etc

[@patandderry8416]

The British use humour in ALL situations. We even joke about cannibalism.

[@rogerwitte]

In England we even have a proverb "You have to laugh lest you cry" to express the use of humour to take the edge off sorrow, worry and disaster. I saw a video with Stephen Fry's analysis of the same question and he said "The American comic hero is a winner who wise-cracks their way to success, but the British comic hero is a loser who fails in spite of their best intentions".

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

I saw (or maybe read) something by Stephen Fry where he asserted that - and I think there is a lot of truth in it. There is a difference in the way we regale comedians in the Us and the UK.

[@astetic_vibezz319]

I’ve said this phrase so much recently.

[@robertadavies4236]

My husband always said, "I can laugh or I can cry. I'd rather laugh."

[@accomuk]

My own experience of British V American Humour [Note it is spelt with the letter U] was many years ago we had some exchange students from the US at the college I was attending. Usual American, loud, brash and if its the biggest & best its American. One of them in conversation said he was intending to go Horse Riding at the weekend. I looked at him and said "Oh do you have a Licence then?" He looked at me said "What do you mean a Licence?" I replied a Horse Riding Licence" He responded "You have to have a licence to ride a horse here?" "Yes I replied if you want to ride on the Queens Highway". " How do i get one?" He asked. I said "You need to go to the Post Office and ask for a Horse Riding Licence.! Some days later he sees me and rushes up to me Shouting " Oi you bloody Limey, I went to the Post Office like you told me and asked for a form for a Horse Licence and they laughed at me!" So did everybody there who heard this. He eventually said "OK you , you got me" My friends loved it but they knew I was joking right away.

[@Landie_Man]

We swear like troopers in the U.K. too. A lot of Americans don’t see to get this right away, sometimes prematurely after meeting somewhere.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

True. It can come across as crass if you aren't expecting it.

[@Landie_Man]

@@SchaeferFamilyAdventure it’s even common in the office or work.

[@dangercat9188]

As a new Yorker, I struggle trying not to swear in almost every sentence. We are potty mouths here. Southerners would give me "looks" if I curse freely lol.

[@MagentaOtterTravels]

Yes! The dark humour that you mentioned in the grandad funeral story is SPOT ON!!!

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Yes, that story just felt so real!

[@karldean4067]

Yes the funeral thing is correct..my grandad worked down the coal mine for 56 years ..he died 3 years ago . We had him cremated ..and he's still burning

[@MagentaOtterTravels]

@@karldean4067 oh wow! But seriously, what area did he mine in? In the past two weeks I have visited Cornwall and County Durham, both areas with lots of mines. I’m now not far from Wales 😉

[@Trmtsociety]

A duck walked by the hole as my grandad coffin was being lowered into it and some one said .."who invited that cnut" ..😅😅😅

[@johnkemp8904]

I don’t know what it says about me, but there is one sentence that seemed to be solely used in US comedy or drama (of which I have seen very little since I was divorced in 1988) and that is the dreaded “I love you mom”.

[@delithnutkins6017]

Hi UK you have a brilliant way of comparing the two countries’ narratives and I think you were spot on

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Thank you for the encouragement!

[@flyoverurbangarden4315]

As an American I sometimes tire of the cultural pressure to be so earnest and correct. It reminds me of the Japanese cultural pressure to be polite. An American friend has 3 cats and it amuses her to insult and disparage them in sweet tones Oh Rudy you fucking asshole, thank you for turning over the litter box. An American friend told her she shouldn't talk to her cats that way because the cats could pick up on her cynicism and negativity. Meanwhile Rudy is licking his balls and purring.

[@KrisYouTubeVids]

This is the best video I've seen on this topic!

[@davidcook7887]

You are right Matthew. Also I liked the way you put up in writing your opinion. That was pretty funny. 😀 You didn’t mention ‘gallows’ humour. That exists in the US just the same but a lot, lot more in the UK. During ww2 Britain suffered say 10x 9/11s every night for a year. Humour got us through. That is still a streak of British humour, all the time. No one has invaded the US so it’s not necessary.

[@robertadavies4236]

Read "Watching the English" by Kate Fox. It's an in-depth study of English culture by a professional anthropologist, scientifically accurate and also extremely entertaining. You've touched on two of her core principles of English culture -- a powerful social discomfort that requires coping mechanisms, and the sheer pervasiveness of humour. Humour to the English is like water to fish. We swim in it, we breathe it, we rely on it, and it's so ubiquitous that we hardly notice it. It's not that everybody is going around cracking jokes all day, or that we can't be serious or even sombre when the occasion demands. It's more that the possibility of humour is always there, it might happen at any moment, and so we're always tuned to the possibility. The "joke" might be as brief and subtle as the choice of a single word, and the response might be a momentary twinkle of an eye, just enough to signal "get this", "got it", and never a smile cracked on either side. Other cultures, including America, have more of a "there's a time and a place" attitude, and can be confused when humour crops up unexpectedly. Look at the response online when Nigella Lawson pronounced "microwave" in the middle of a recipe as if it was some odd French word. Americans were torn between "Is this how Brits say it?" and "Doesn't she know how to say it?"

[@danmayberry1185]

Hays Code era movies and TV shaped the signposted, happy ending style of US entertainment to this day.

[@adriandurrant6025]

Hi from England! I don't think it's correct to say that Americans don't understand sarcasm. However your sarcasm is different to ours. American sarcasm is overt and transparent: "Hey! Walk right in! Be my guest!" But UK humour is sardonic, cloaked, poker-faced: "Oh brilliant". It can be hard to figure out, here, if someone is serious or not. And the person who gets 'wound up' - believes someone is serious when they're not - is the loser. That's how it is here LOL. To us it's "all banter".

[@maxineallen5673]

Absolutely, in the UK, humour is the grease that makes otherwise awkward situations easier. Most social situations are awkward so hence the humour. The worst thing that can be said about you in this country is that you have no sense of humour. Humour at a funeral is a code for saying 'this sucks, funerals are awful, our friend has died and it's shit'.

[@monkee1969]

The only person in the world ever (& i have a couple of American friends too.) to say the American office is better than the British one

[@DirectDemocrat]

Yeah....I think there is probably something in what you say. I took the piss at my dad's funeral and so did my brothers. Not because we were happy at his passing but because he would have expected no less. Also, British people are not very religious, unlike Americans. Religious people, for some curious and strange reasons, always seem more concerned about death.....because of course, that's when the fun starts. Atheist have no expectations of being sent to hell because we don't think such place exists. As for my dad....he was 79. You can't live forever

[@fionagregory9376]

I am British and Richard Dawkins made me as atheist thank god.

[@fionagregory9376]

My dad was 91 when he died. My mum died of smoking at 68.

[@fionagregory9376]

My parents did not go to church either but my dad had to say he believed in God as he was a Freemason. He did not really believe in God.

[@torfrida6663]

Very interesting analysis. I shall continue to consider this for some time. I goes a long way to explain to me why I find particularly American stand up comedians so hard to take. Perhaps they are expressing their joy in their material while to me it is too much in my face and seems self-satisfied. 👍🇬🇧

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

American humor does often feel too forward and...almost prideful? I often feel like an American comic is almost boasting.

[@torfrida6663]

@@SchaeferFamilyAdventure Thank you for taking the trouble to respond. I have previously wondered whether native language is a contributing factor. The subtleties of British wordplay rely on all being native speakers. I feel that many American communities have a different first language and so English language based humour cannot be too nuanced or it is beyond the language skills of quite a range of the population. I would be interested to hear whether you think this is a valid idea, if you can spare the time.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

I do feel as if that could be a contributing factor historically. I don't think it is currently much of a factor (most of my interactions are with native speakers), but perhaps because we are a country built up of immigrants? I'll have to think on that.

[@MagentaOtterTravels]

Haha, taking the mickey out of a total stranger upon meeting them is SO BRITISH! And the fact that it happened at church emphasizes the point even more. I loved your story!

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

I do feel like you occasionally run into that type of person stateside...but not often in a church! I actually kind of miss it, to be honest!

[@MagentaOtterTravels]

@@SchaeferFamilyAdventure yes, I understand. When I worked at Frito-Lay, we very much had that kind of culture. It was very sarcastic and people teased each other all the time. But it’s dangerous to learn that habit and then go to another kind of environment where people are shocked when you do it!! It’s been interesting having a KZbin channel that I created to talk to Americans, and then discover that it’s almost all British viewers. I frequently get comments that seem rather mean, but most all of the time they are in fact good-natured teasing.

[@Starlight_Silver]

That was really interesting. I’m an American who often uses deadpan humor, and a lot of times, people don’t get it. They just stare at me. It took about a decade for my husband to catch on to when I was kidding with him. Maybe I need to move to Britain. 😊

[@johnsharp6618]

Teasing such as at the church you mentioned is generally used as an ice breaker and to see a person's reaction it gives a general idea on how the person's wired up,

[@dereksmith6404]

One form of humour is the left out word like " I am a stupid idiot", "Oh I'd never say you were an idiot". The tone of voice is also used for example. " what a nice little dog". The word "nice" can be said in a manner which means exactly the opposite.

[@mikenixon2401]

I consider sarcasm as a genuine gift. I get frustrated when I am misunderstood and even scorned because of it. And I an American. Go figure.

[@leewightman8001]

People in the UK only go to church for free tea coffee and biscuits In the u.s they go for that god fella

[@nevillemason6791]

No, no. They go to church (at least here locally) to demonstrate church attendance so they can get their child admitted to the good Church of England high school.

[@ivannevarez8478]

That makes all the difference.

[@gazinessex2]

The last 2 minutes was spot on. I use humour constantly every day.

[@lauraholland347]

I think the difference is deeper- we are much less religious, I can't comment on what people would say in a church, as I wouldn't experience that, but the idea it is a different experience doesn't surprise me. Making fun of each other is a common British thing, but in my experience only really happens between people who know each other quite well. Signposting isn't a thing here- and you just have live with that I'm afraid, it's a cultural difference. I've never seen much humour used at a funeral, a eulogy might have a funny story, anything else -not in my experience- I'm very surprised if you have experienced it at funerals, if it's just a journalists story- I'd just take it with a huge pinch of salt. Political humour has a very long and venerated history here, again cultural difference and you just have to accept it. As for Americans recognising irony, in my experience, often they don't. Sarcasm is obviously easier to spot, and Americans often recognise it ,but I think Americans just don't like it- and all I can say is there is no accounting for taste. The suggestion Americans are just more pleasant is just not true,you live in a more hostile environment, where you are far less protected from the rigours of employment , ill health and old age. That means you are more careful with each other- maybe that's something you like , personally I don't see it as a plus.

[@ollisflakes9480]

in the us when people make fun of you its typically an actual judgement rather than to have fun

[@PrdtRsic]

Banter is key in the UK. Banter is life. If you don't have it you wont survive. Plus best mates call each other cunts all the time. It's like a term of endearment haha. Good example my dad passed away. 2 weeks later, me and 2 other friends were talking and one of them no longer has a dad either. But the other one that does started talking about his dad in a casual manner. My other friend mid convo looked at me and pointed at my friend talking and said, "listen to this cunt flexxin that he has a dad!" It had only been 2 weeks since my dad passed away but we folded over in laughter. We see the humour in anything, because we trust our friendships and know that he didn't mean any harm to me, if anything a way to cheer me up. We just have this sense when someone is being serious or joking without having to make it obvious that we're joking we just know. And that takes a looooong time for anyone to get used to. Harder for an American just coming to UK too.

[@Texicus_Reddicus]

People often say that the British hide emotions and don't speak up, which is sort of true. But we also all know exactly what each other are feeling, without having to outwardly put on a expression. You can tell how someone is feeling without them having to do a massive smile or frown at you, because of the subtle cues we all know. Because of this, like you said, humour is for other parts of life.

[@larrybell1859]

Americans do get the sarcasm but they do not practice it becasue Americans are very direct in showing what they think and feel so there is no misunderstanding to the receiving party, that is their culture. And Americans wear their hatred on their sleeves or "in your face". It is never funny when it comes to sarcasm for Americans.

[@stephenheathfield6057]

Many years ago I attended the Unitarian church in Liverpool. After a few weeks the minister said he sensed I was a bit uncomfortable around hin. He asked if it was because he was gay. My reponse was "No, it's that your an American". The reaction was laughter and smiles.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

I LOVE that story. It is a perfect British response.

[@stevenmclaren2730]

In the UK men compliment each other with insults, women insult each other with compliments

[@danmayberry1185]

Brilliant, and true.

[@k2411871]

Its not just British, Irish and probably even Australians will try to make light of a dark situation. If you have time watch this "Irish man leaves funny recording for his funeral" Its only 1 min 45

[@blackandwhiterag1117]

How do you cope with gallows humour ?

[@m00plank90]

Yeah I agree. One of the most painful things to an Englishman, or me at least, is awkwardness. For example: I don't know anything about you and I'm put in a situation where we are thrust together. To suddenly strike up a conversation like "Hi, my name is mooplank, *talks all about myself*" would seem vulgar, or crass, even arrogant. To ask all about you, could appear nosey, even impolite or imposing and rude. So a friendly joke or jibe is a great way to guage how to proceed. If they give a polite "aha" you know to tread carefully, if they jibe right back, then you know they're alright. If it goes terribly, we'll... I'm glad I didn't take any time to divulge about myself or ask them about themselves, because they're clearly a dick. 😅

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

This is definitely my experience meeting people in the UK. Not everyone, obviously, but much more frequently than in the US.

[@elunedlaine8661]

As mentioned below, you might enjoy this YT vid 'Stephen Fry on American vs British Comedy'

[@bernadettelanders7306]

I suggested that, even posted the link. My comment was deleted

[@christopherlord3441]

There's one difference I've noticed not in professional humour but in personal interactions. There is an American type of joke which is to tell a stupid lie and then enjoy the fact that the other person believes it. I think it's part of the competitive thing: a way of feeling that you are winning in some weird way. It feels really offensive to a Brit, because in Britain that might be a way to start a fight: a deliberate insult. In Britain it's called a 'wind-up', which is just persuading someone of something that is not true, and it may be a good-natured joke; but the American version is to use the lie to boast about how great you are, making some claim about something you've done, or something connected with you that proves how great or cool you are. It just doesn't feel like humour to us: it feels infantile. But a lot of humour doesn't travel. I live in France, and most French humour leaves me completely cold.

[@lewis123417]

If we arent comfortable enough to make fun of you, we aint friends

[@cubeaceuk9034]

Hi Matthew. I found your observations and conclusions interesting. I'm very interested in why you think you were made fun of in a church meeting someone new. I have never personally experienced that. Yes, there can be an amount of banter, but normally not directed at the person they talk to but rather a subject within the discussion. It maybe perhaps in response to something you said if at first they thought you were joking about something. I think on average we don't tend to trust people who smile all the time. I think I would find it unsettling and wonder what was going on behind the smile. I think I smile slightly when I agree with another persons' statement within a conversation or give a very subtle smile if I'm ribbing someone. (Ribbing 'To make a small amount of fun of, not meant seriously or as an insult.') On average I would never do the latter to someone I didn't really know. American of British Office? Personally I can't stand either. Ricky Gervais is very much like Marmite. ( You should get that quote 🤣). Again, at funerals. I must have been brought up differently as I have never seen the behaviour you describe unless between relatives. Funerals can be fun and rambunctious affairs depending on one's beliefs (or lack of them). Try going to an Irish wake. (or look it up on Google). I do think you are correct about we make fun of everything else. We love our misery and to share it in a way as to not burden the other person with it. That would go along with your observation about us not sharing our feelings. We do, but we don't want or need support on it. Hence psychiatry is a much smaller occupation than in the States 😏. Not sure if that measn our suicide rate is higher or lower though😀. What I find interesting is humour in American films is much better than on your TV programs. More subtle, surprising, and made to better effect. Some of my favourite American comedies are The Big Bang, Young Sheldon, Scrubs, Resident Alien. Your best Drama by far so far for me was House. My favourite American Comedic actor has to be Tim Allen, then Danny Kay. Favourite American comedian is Reginald D. Hunter. To be honest I much prefer our comedy radio shows over our TV shows. Although there may well be a broad British sense of humour I also think it is split up across social strata and regions. Much like our accents. I'm equally sure that is also true in the States. There is another one for you Matthew. Do Americans have something akin to a class system? Also, have you decided on a name yet? Ray.

[@steveallen3434]

part of it is to found out if you have a sense of humour and can laugh at yourself

I find this makes sense as an Australian. I find American youth deliver irony but it's very different and tends to be very dry in delivery which sees Generations B and X react poorly as they take it literally. With Americans and humour though, Americans struggle to laugh at themselves and each other and instead, make jokes based on one liners while humour of the British, Irish, Australians and Kiwis for example is to laugh at themselves and misfortune. It's a healthy coping mechanism. Americans need to learn to laugh at themselves and their failings instead of insults when they do joke about each other.

[@northguy2367]

I agree that British humour can be an avoidance strategy. There is also a British perception that Germans have no sense of humour, which is not true but Germans think that when you are at work then you work. Telling jokes at work is for them just a way of avoiding working - which sometimes it is.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

As an American, I've also heard that Germans have no sense of humor, but wasn't my experience in knowing some Germans. I haven't ever worked with Germans in a "work environment" though, so maybe that is the difference.

[@k2411871]

@@SchaeferFamilyAdventure The irony is, the Germans probably see the Brits the same. Look at Jurgen Klopp

[@vanburger]

I think you over simplified with your summing up. It's difficult to comment on this video on a mobile phone. But I think that the biggest difference is the introspective nature of British humour. We almost always turn the humour on ourselves where as American humour there's always a geek nerd baddie to off load the tag line on to. When on a first day and someone takes the Mickey" It's often seen as nothing more than an icebreaker. Everyone knows that you don't criticise a new person in a strange environment. So it must be humour. Its understood. People often say things that could so easily leveled at their own door. And that's also generally understood. It's too easy to say that Americans laugh at joy and happiness and brits only use humour for sadness awkwardness and the like. We also use humour for joy too. Humour cannot be discussed without putting it under the Lens of America's more puritanical stance on issues when shone through the prism of American politics and Religion. These things greatly affect the way people in the USA deal & dispense with humour. I'm a red head. I went to Spain and a waitress said if I was enjoying my holiday under every umbrella I could find. It's not just British people that use this type of humour. Infact I would argue that the rest of the world also use this tact. Its American humour that finds it difficult to laugh at itself , like why would the greatest country make fun of itself. I think it to be personally. The new religions thought up in the USA like the 7th day, Mormon, J Witnesses, and especially the evangelical pentecostal. That permeate their doctorine into politics and all parts of American life. Their are other differences other than the one you described.

[@vaudevillian7]

I think there’s a lot too this - the ‘British’ approach to humour is much more widespread I think, and not just in cultures we have close connections to like the Irish and Australians

[@MH-ys1ru]

Interesting take on the difference. I think what you have said combined with the self deprecation of British people are the areas of difference

[@gindrinkersline3285]

"Americans - ☂️ fragile, handle with care!" (Disclaimer: This is a joke 🙂, no harm intended.😘)

[@barbaramatthews4735]

I'm American and I see the problem with some Americans being more sensitive and the era of extreme political correctness. I'm getting older and can see the shift. It used to be that off color humor was more acceptable. People would snickercat the occasional inappropriate joke, because the absurdity and inappropriatenes made it funny. I am a Navy veteran and worked in health care. Needless to say at times the job was stressful and taxing. We won't tell the same macab jokes to the patients as we did to each other. We were expected to be professional. Sometimes to keep the serious nature from making us crazy, we mad jokes with each other. It was situational though. I recently went through cancer and survived. I had a lot of surgery during the time and had things removed. When i spoke to onevof the doctors i told him "When I signed up to be an organ donor, I thought you guys would wait." He got a good laugh. It made me feel better because the heaviness of a cancer diagnosis is bad enough. I think Americans get it. Not all Americans are super sensitive, but the ones that are complain loudly. Now most people have become too afraid to offend. Its a cultural shift. 20-30 years ago humor was more trasy and more funny.

[@jackwheeler27]

The mocking thing when first getting to know people is very on point. "Where are you from?" "[Place]" "Oh dear..." It's like a fake worst-reaction-imaginable that implicitly acknowledges the fear of rejection. Once you know what people are doing, you realize that they're actually being nice-it's actually sort of like taking a jab at the idea of taking a jab.

[@MagentaOtterTravels]

Ball cap to prove it 😂😂 Love the sarcasm in the intro! ❤️

[@ivanhelovanitch7444]

I think the UK has changed its behaviour and disciplines over the years. With funerals there always used to have dress codes, black or dark suits and ties, black or dark dresses but that has slowly disappeared even at society funerals to a degree although you will see more black clothes at a society funeral than a normal one. I think this is where humour started coming into funerals as well . When instead of people sitting around crying and being all sad and feeling low, people started to celebrate the person who had died either in how they where as a person or the things they did or things they said, especially stories of something they did that was silly or stupid even, like crashing a car and blaming one of the passengers for it or the time they fell of a ladder, setting the house on fire or just being mean or cantankerous. Yes it is always a sad loss to the family of a lost one, but when people start telling funny or strange strange stories do others around join in and that is where the real celebration of the one that has died starts. People hearing stories they have never heard before and will stay with them for time to come fondly remembering the person who has died.

[@stefanieprince48]

Americans have more couth. This was brilliant!

[@DODO-dr2lu]

When we make fun of you, if means we like you.😀

[@Rosie6857]

That is so true. A friend greets me with "How are you, you old c***? and I give the standard reply "Not so much of the "old"" if you don't mind". (We are both over 75). Equally, another group may make references to "sheepshagger" or "Welsh git" . (I am Welsh by heritage). There is always some witty or cutting answer and no offence is taken by anybody. But could this exchange take place in the USA? This video attempts to answer that and is one of the best of its kind. Thanks for a bit of insight.

[@ba1anse]

That’s why British humours are so much better - signposting kills all subtlety and unexpectedness

[@vilebrequin6923]

We Brits have refined the sarcasm right down to the merest inflection of the eyebrow! Now, that's subtlety.

[@paulmk2290]

As a Brit I agree that the US Office was better than the UK version. There are plenty of other top US comedy shows as well: The Simpsons, Family Guy, Curb Your Enthusiasm, are just a few examples. Lately, I'm a big fan of Young Sheldon. Clearly the humour is there in the states, there's nothing to suggest that British humour is better at the top end. Also, there are plenty of people, Swedes and Germans, for instance, who think that the Brits are just too jokey and need to take things a bit more seriously. However, I think that there is something in the American work/life balance that makes Americans look humourless in their daily life. Americans seem to be slaves to their jobs, and are occasionally aggressively business-like or too eager to please in retail situations. One of the points of daily work related humour is let some humanity come to the surface, as opposed to selling your soul to your employer.

[@rowdawg2943]

In British living in America very very accurate

[@Dr.Strangmeme]

I want my death to be a surprise otherwise the knowing will kill me. I'm an American and an atheist There's two songs I want played at my funeral Vera Lynn We'll Meet Again And Always look at the bright side of life. From life of Brian because one my name is Brian and because you can't take death to seriously.

[@vaudevillian7]

Always look on the bright side of life is the most commonly played song at British funerals

[@bplffan6513]

Americans use humour to express joy and happiness - so do Brits - but more accurately we use humour in every situation - some areas less so (you mentioned funerals for example) but in truth nothing is off limits. As for irony and sarcasm they are not beyond Americans by any means it's just that here (UK) it's almost a genetic marker. As you say, in the US if there's no signpost, there's no humour. Here sarcasm and irony are so culturally pervasive that we grow up with the requisite subtleties in-built. Oh, and to mirror your caveat, my comments are broad generalisations. Not everyone here has a sense of humour, irony or sarcasm with which to deal with the world unfortunately (i.e. unfortunately for them and for us.)

[@astetic_vibezz319]

This is really interesting. I think maybe Americans are a bit more deeper or more sensitive than I thought ! The grandad funeral joke/dark humour, I found funny. We do have a harsh sense of humour (i suppose) it’s just who we are

[@astetic_vibezz319]

Totally agree when you talk about humour. I think is Brits do use humour for everything. I know I do even during painful moments in my life etc SPOT ON 👍

[@urphakeandgey6308]

I'm an American and I'd laugh my ass off at the funeral joke. I'd be like "so I'm assuming you didn't get him the nice casket, yeah?"

[@chrisshelley3027]

You state that Americans get British humour, that you understand when we are joking, but later you say that Americans have to pay careful attention because of the way we make jokes, you said that we are deadpan, we don't announce when we are going to make a joke (tell a joke) and so you have difficulty in knowing when some remark is meant as a joke or is it meant seriously, you just aren't sure, and because you understand how the British are with humour you have to advise your American friends that we may say things that can come across as uncouth or just plain rude, because you make it known when you are going to be funny, also that we will make jokes at a funeral and you see this as unacceptable, a funeral is not a place or occasion to be having a laugh, and you still claim that you understand the British and our sense of humour? A young child will stand on a chair and announce that they are going to tell a joke, we Brits stop that by age 4 while you continue doing so for the rest of your life, this is about more than humour, its an understanding of the nuances of languages, tonal differences and being subtle, a joke is a small story with a punchline, humour takes many forms, we will joke, we don't often tell a joke, we find and express humour with friends and even strangers, but we are subtle mostly, if the strangers don't understand the humour you have lost nothing, if they understand and you get a positive response you may have made a new friend, if not at least you shared a smile with someone and that is reward enough, we don't telegraph jokes because that is the best way to kill the "joke".

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Hmm, yes, I do think you heard all the parts of my argument, but seems that you missed the point.

[@bernadettelanders7306]

Chris I don’t think you missed the point. You explained it very well. I wonder what point he thinks you missed? Maybe if he watched Stephen Fry explain simply the difference between UK and USA humour he might understand - no one is right or wrong - just different

[@chrisshelley3027]

@@bernadettelanders7306 Thank you for taking the time to reply, Stephen Fry is the perfect person to explain this as you point out :)

[@chrisshelley3027]

@@bernadettelanders7306 I think this may be the Stephen Fry clip you mean. kzbin.info/www/bejne/bpyVcpWniaerl9E

[@bernadettelanders7306]

@@chrisshelley3027 yes, I’ve watched it a few times. I was going to put link in myself. Sometimes when I’ve put a link in on another KZbinrs page my comment gets deleted, not always, let’s see lol Also some from other countries make take Stephen’s view as the general public feeling inferior, it’s not, it’s about comedy. I’m Australian, only guessing u r from UK, and our comedy is similar to British comedy. But Uk and Aussies less confident or intelligent, definitely not. There are intelligent and not so intelligent people in every single country on this planet.

[@matthewelliman8173]

Its not always good obviously and its our way of dealing with pain.

[@AllanScott28]

Love theses types of videos. Keep up the work fella. I know one thing though...Being British, I wouldn't be as sarcastic if it wasn't for Bill Hicks 🇺🇲 🤣👍❤️

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Bill Hicks didn't get near as popular in the US as in the UK. His style seems to me to be geared toward a British audience....in fact, I know a couple people in the US who just never jived with him/didn't think he was funny.

[@xanderathome]

There are many British that dont understand this too

[@stuartc9149]

Yep. You still haven't quite got it

[@videofan792]

A lot of British humor is about death. There is a video on here about birthday cards. The British one says, “Happy birthday! I thought you were already dead.” I think that is very funny and nothing to get upset about.

[@annacederwall3309]

Telling people its just a joke does not always meen it is you know.

[@plutoniumcoreuk]

I am British and the best way to deal with someone taking the piss out of you is to say something about yourself that is far worse than what they are saying true or not. Most people who are making fun of you are doing it as form of friendship anyone who says anything absolutely insulting is just a dick head. I always call them out on it and if they don’t withdraw the comment and apologise I ditch them. We do joke about nearly everything but you draw a line when it comes to making jokes about people to belittle them.

[@bobbyboko6317]

Our humour may be different but thank you America for Larry David and Curb your Enthusiasm, cringe humour at its best 👌

[@ChrisBetton]

What a show!

[@bassinblue]

Brit: My girlfriend left me and took the dog American: Omg that's horrible! Brit: Well, I still have my wife, so it isn't all bad. American: Not cool dude... For me, I think difference is delivery. The American will be somewhat animated, but the Brit can have wild sarcastic irony filled conversations with a deadpan face.

[@oml81mm]

Funerals are much better than weddings... If you go to a funeral you get the same amount of free drink, but you don't have to bring a present.

[@keithtaylor3347]

I think that the big difference is that Americans are far too egocentric, so that they will take the smallest tease as a personal attack. They take themselves so seriously that words, in their minds, really DO constitute acts of violence. The British, on the other hand, accept the fact that they are not very special at all, so that they can take a joke - and come back with all guns blazing. In the end everyone has a good laugh and would-be enemies in America can become firm friends in England. If peoples' comments about you result in your feelings being hurt, you're nothing but a stale cupcake, whereas if you can take a joke and perhaps even add to it, you will always come out on top.

[@mookiestewart3776]

I would say Americans use sarcasm specifically to denigrate someone. It’s for shit talking someone , making them feel dumb , making their point look dumb through passive aggressiveness .

[@swastiksaraf7510]

USA Airforce v/s Chinese Airforce Comparison 2022 (Updated) kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIaYoGl5Z8t0iKc

[@markliddell3609]

so true ¬ I'm from the uk well said !

[@jillhobson6128]

There is a difference between sarcasm and irony. By the way, I didn't like "Friends" and fail to see the humour. I still think Americans only like slapstick and in your face humour. They don't seem to understand the nuances.

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

Definitely agree there is a difference between Sarcasm and Irony. Thanks for the comment, I really found it helpful!

[@janinestearns7288]

As a true logophile, someone who loves words, I’ve found that while most Americans catch sarcasm, they’re very poor at catching when someone is being facetious. (Funny story… when my son was 7 he knew the meaning of facetious but couldn’t pronounce it, so he called it “the F word”! 😂😂😂

[@abigailgerlach5443]

This is my family: How do I look? American family..."You look nice dear. That's a nice dress." British family..."A blind man would be happy to see you." Culturally, the American use humor to express feeling which are upbeat, positive, confident. The British use humor to express feelings of discomfort, negativity, and embarrassment. Just my observations.

[@stephenhughes4943]

As a Brit pretty accurate

[@nayftv]

All Murray put it best …. Americans are full of hope and have the American dream….. there is no British dream because we are fking awake ….. and then in the uk and the republic of Ireland and Australia for that matter we insult our friends and are polite to our enemies…

[@lauralott2741]

Interesting! I miss British sarcasm delivered with the deadpan face!! I’ve lived in US for 35 years. I think the British Office was much funnier than the American version.

[@TheChartruese]

I understand sarcasm and I'm American.

[@kevinwhite981]

I like watching Americans reacting to British humour, you can see them working out the last joke when the comedian has moved on to the next joke, we only take the piss out of people we like.😊

[@super_happy_alien509]

You see with my Humour. at My funeral i want a sound divice placed in my coffin that plays Knocking Nosies and play my voice saying "OI i am NOT dead you "Something" ingrate familiy members.

[@kevinwhite981]

Brit here, never been to a funeral where people are using humour in a disrespectful way.😊

[@dereksmith6404]

When my wife was dying she actually said to me "See if you can make them laugh"

[@simonrobins4316]

i think you are about as wrong as you can get about UK humor - we do joke, we love to joke, but there is always a place and time - we would never joke if your attending a funeral or some other event where people are there to mark their respect - its just NEVER DONE and those who choose to do such rude things and what they think is clever, get a short sharp reminder about RESPECT - to be honest i have never seen anyone cross that line (maybe at a wedding where an old drunk uncle of mine decided to ask the groom if he know what life was really like after marriage - thats the problem of stag nights just before the wedding) i am mercilness at taking the piss out of my sister and some of her friends, plus many of my own family, and friends, but only if its apprioate and never to insult to belittle another i will take the piss where i know i will not offend those who are with me or around me - if i do joke about something at such event, it will be to those who know me and know i am mucking about - if they do not like it, they tell me and i will stop we have many French colleagues in our business - we take piss of them and they of us (when they understand what we are saying - 'Allo Allo' type or about revolting French (about their revolution)) - but we would never offend someone who is French if they did not know what went on - that is just not showing RESPECT - a little banter amongst colleagues can help make friends, good work mates and gell worker together i think the thing you may not get it our sarcasm (the play of words and situations) - having travelled quite a few times to the US now, i will play around with my UK mates living there and those US people who know us, but i will never insult or dis-respect another as a means to a joke, unless the situation required it - it rarely does I come from London; humor and sarcasm is part of our language - its used when its appriorate, unless i want to spit teeth

[@NickNick-mm5jk]

Americans think irony is what you use to smooth your shirts

[@SchaeferFamilyAdventure]

😂