Anastasia (Golden Films) - Phelous

[@Idarak1]

Fun fact: The Russian Revolution really happened because the people were angry at the Tsar for giving too much screentime to the fucking annoying birds!

[@asalways1504]

And as punishment, they turned him, his wife, son, and eldest daughter (Tatiana was the oldest right?) into musical instruments.

[@silentecho92able]

Right after the Family was executed on orders by the new Tsar of Russia Rasputin. Also Olga was the eldest.

[@Horzuhammer]

It was actually Rasputin who did the purges in russia. It had nothing to do with politics, he just killed/sent off to gulags all his subjects that wouldn't wear those long hats.

[@jjjmadness8306]

Who knew so many lives would be lost because of a annoying birds.

[@Tareltonlives]

Okay, maybe Lenin wasn't such a bad guy....

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

Fun fact I learned recently: Rasputin DID actually heal Alexi. See, he had hemophilia, which meant he would bleed a lot from the slightest injury due to - if I remember correctly - a lack of clotting agent in his blood. It's extremely painful, so all the doctors would give him aspirin for it. But aspirin is also a blood thinner, which makes hemophilia worse. The first thing Rasputin did when he became the royal family's healer was talk them into sending the other doctors away. So, as soon as he took over, Alexi stopped taking aspirin, which reduced some of the effects of his bleeding. Additionally, Rasputin's presence tended to calm the Czarina's hysterics, which put Alexi at ease and we now know that stress weakens your immune response. As a result, Alexi would recover from things faster when Rasputin was around. So, his health actually DID improve a lot under Rasputin's care - purely by accident.

[@Savannah_Simpson]

That’s just a theory historians have. Nothing that’s confirmed.

[@wastelandlegocheem]

And the condition: royal inbreeding Sorry, i had to say it. You know it, I know it, practially everu royal was inbred to some not-so-distant extent

[@magicmoonart]

Stress is areal killer so anyone who can help reduce stress is a healer

[@fimbles4211]

​@@Savannah_SimpsonA GAME THEORY

[@PHSDM104]

​@@wastelandlegocheem That fact is true. Queen Victoria's bloodline carried hemophilia.

[@littleloud8283]

So the supposedly 'happy' ending of this movie involves a man kidnapping an emotionally vulnerable amnesiac woman to live with him in a remote area, giving her a new identity, manipulating her into marrying him and having his child and deliberately withholds the knowledge of her family's brutal murder and her status as royalty from her for YEARS (which she's perfectly okay with once she regains her memory) and the fact that Russia is now probably a dictatorship governed by Rasputin, meaning that the family will probably be murdered by the secret police at any given moment if he ever finds out their bloodline survived, probably forcing them to live the rest of their lives on the run. Jesus. The real life story of Anastasia was less depressing than this.

[@FezFindie]

Nothing like writers clearly half-assing it to a point of dropping out of obvious plot points halfway, whether because the movie is only so long or they wasted time on stupid crap?

[@eleanorhogan8643]

So was Don Bluth's version.

[@majorfanboy2005]

@@eleanorhogan8643 No, not really. At least Bluth's Version has charm to it.

[@eleanorhogan8643]

@@majorfanboy2005 Well yes it does but I was replying to littleloud8283 that Don Bluth's version was less depressing than this version, this version is depressing.

[@majorfanboy2005]

@@eleanorhogan8643 Oh, sorry.

[@gingergoddess8953]

Er, actually the Romanov girls DID visit military hospitals during WW1 a lot. The two oldest were nurses and the two youngest would read to them and visit. So, yeah. Weird detail to actually get right in a stinker movie....

[@decepticreep952]

@Demiclea Oh, good. So I wasn't the only one that found that song kind of neat. 😂

[@unamed2516]

Nothing to see here Yeah, I thought it was good too. I actually think good times hires pretty good singers for most of their movies.

[@agentspaniel4428]

Yeah small nods to actual history like this is what makes this movie so frustrating

[@gracekim1998]

Interesting 🤔

[@Hessed3712]

Aww, that was nice. And now I’m sad…..because they were executed.

[@emikikuno]

The fun fact is that Rasputin actually helped Alexi, not because his prayer-based treatment worked but because when he arrived he immediately stopped the batshit insane treatments ( snake venom, bleeding, etc.) that the previous healer had prescibed and that were only making the boy sicker.

[@irondragonmaiden]

Wow, so in other words, RASPUTIN had more common sense than the others? Holy shit, Tsarina Alexandra really lacked the common sense the gods gave a jellyfish

[@jennyblanch8241]

He also told the doctors to leave him alone, so he could heal properly not that he told them that and had then stop using aspirin a pain reliving blood-thinner so he wouldn't bled to death.

[@VenusMy129]

It is suspected that Rasputin was able to help because he carried an air of calm. He was able to hypnotize people and was charismatic. Tzarina trusted him and calmed her which in turn calmed Alexei and gave him a chance to heal. So, Rasputin might not have had any supernatural powers but he was a healer of sorts, a mental healer, kind of like a psychologist for the royal family.

[@dragonempress8367]

@@VenusMy129 so... why do these idiot writers make him evil?

[@lavernebennet7395]

wait, were they seriously BLEEDING this kid who had a disease that meant he could VERY EASILY BLEED TO DEATH

[@Lukethefox]

Well, Rasputin was Russia's greatest love machine.

[@emilychristian7844]

Lukethefox WHAT SONG IS THAT

[@Flowerbarrel]

You might have found out by now, but it’s Rasputin by Boney M.

[@nifralo2752]

Do you think Pontaff wrote this script?

[@flufflewarrior]

Lukethefox and lover of the Russian queen ;P

[@Aluhcav]

There was a cat that really was gone.

[@FrenkTheJoy]

It would've been such an unexpectedly strong writing move to have "Anna" be like "No I don't remember anything." Alexander keeps pestering her "But what about this or that" and she lets out an anguished "NO" in a way that strongly hints that she DOES remember, she just doesn't want to talk about it.

[@98953812]

You're asking for way too much from Golden Films. 😂

[@gussiejives]

One thing I find hilarious about these animated Anastasia movies is how they completely gloss over the fact that WORLD WAR I was raging at the time of the Revolution and repeated Russian defeats had taken their tolls not just on the Russian people, but on the tsar as well, having fired his cousin and took on the responsibility of commander-in-chief personally. He was at the front lines when the revolution occurred. Tsarina Alexandra’s German heritage was also considered suspect. Yet all these movies are just like “The Romanovs were just hanging out being a nice family when these jerk peasants got conned by a wizard/troll into overthrowing them!”

[@Dreigonix]

And they can’t actually talk about the political intricacies of monarchy, feudalism, communism, or the red-fash state-capitalist hellhole the USSR ended up being, so these REAL EVENTS end up getting sanitized in a really awkward way. It would be like having a WW2 movie without ever mentioning what the Nazis and their ideology actually were. (Captain America: The First Avenger kinda did that, and I feel like it would’ve been better if they had touched on that at least a little, but ehh, it was still a great movie.)

[@gracekim1998]

@@Dreigonix keep in mind a lot of adults watch Marvel would already know

[@andreasnickmann370]

His uncle. He fired his uncle.

[@FrenkTheJoy]

I'm not an expert but I feel like at least the children were hanging out being a nice family when these jerk peasants brutally murdered them. Pretty sure the 12 year old isn't responsible for the state the country was it - pretty sure the Tsarina being part German was also not responsible.

[@KaminoKatie]

@@FrenkTheJoy Plus Anastasia was already 17 when the revolution happened

[@FunFilmFare]

I met Charles Martinet at 2016 AwesomeCon! When I asked him about this movie... his demeanor changed. He went from happy and chatty to quiet and a bit embarrassed. Now after watching your review, I can see why xD

[@batteryrailway4229]

CJBolan mama Mia!

[@fenrir-art4742]

I met him too. I never knew the voice of Gimli for The Lord of the Rings The Return of the King was part of this trite.

[@ExplorerDS6789]

I wonder if Cam Clarke reacts the same way when people ask him about his GoodTimes/Golden Films days. In fact, Jim Cummings is the same way with The Garbage Pail Kids movie, it's one of his biggest regrets.

[@nialldempsey7742]

@@ExplorerDS6789 When I say this, I say it with compassion that they were involved in this tripe because they are amazing people but getting Cam Clarke, Susan Silo, Candi Milo, Jeff Bennett and Corey Burton to be voice actors for Good Times/Golden Films is bad enough but getting Charles Martinet, the voice actor of the most iconic video game character of all time is an abomination 😡

[@Alejandroigarabide]

So... You knew he made this movie before watching this review?

[@ztslovebird]

At least the family didn't turn into talking instruments.

[@lilfizz1619]

Still think they were less annoying than that bird lol

[@masterfarr8265]

Lil' Fizz at least they did shit, too much though

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

My tired brain reading this: At least the animals- Me: Animals? No. Me: At least the family didn’t turn into talking animals. Me: Dang it!

[@Theladywiththeblackdress]

I can't wait for "ANNE FRANK AND THE SECRET CHAMBER"

[@pinkglitter93]

Alcendence They'll have Anne Frank go to a school of magic if they release a movie under this title I suppose

[@lizzychrome7630]

They would.

[@YokiDokiPanic]

Believe it or not, but there actually IS an animated movie about Anne Frank. It didn't feature any sidekick instruments and Anne's cat, Moortje, didn't talk.

[@EarthboundX]

Just wait till a hundred years or so and we'll get 9/11 kids movies in the vein of those two Titanic cartoon movies.

[@lizzychrome7630]

EarthboundX Complete with a giant pink octopus catching the towers and putting them back in their places.

[@snakes3425]

Fun Fact: Rasputin who died a year before the Revolution came back as a zombie, led the October Revolution and toppled both Lenin and Kerensky, and declared himself Tsar from which he created the Soviet Union after changing his name to Stalin

[@lolibuster2124]

WOW!!!

[@gabriellove9664]

I mean technically, he also beat out Nestor Makhno and the Black Vanguard as well as the Blue Army and Green Armies, but yeah pretty much.

[@NodDisciple1]

"OF COURSE!!!"

[@lightyearpig12]

Did his resurrection have anything to do with selling his soul and being paired up with a talking bat voiced by Hank Azaria?

[@Flowerbarrel]

I knew it!

[@rosiegaines2725]

At the start of the movie, Anastasia makes her wish that ‘the family always be together’ out loud, meaning it wouldn’t come true. So this whole thing is her fault.

[@EagleTimberWolf]

"Alexander! What's going on?" "I'm turning into a swan!" I almost died XD

[@BigBadBuzzard]

*Aleksandr

[@EagleTimberWolf]

Thanks, wasn't sure whether or not they used the "Americanized" spelling (like some of these cartoons tend to do) so I went with it by default XD My bad

[@melissalayson7275]

Me too. Especially when Phelous added the swan hissing noise.

[@Pinka13]

I bet Charles Martinet *wishes* he could've been replaced by Chris Pratt when making this movie.

[@alicebthegachaweirdo8378]

Lol

[@mechmaster315]

Pratt wasn’t relevant at this time

[@bigdaddydons6241]

​@@mechmaster315no u

[@fernandachapa]

@@mechmaster315it’s because he was mario’s voice and now Chris pratt is the new Voice haha 😂

[@nerdsman567]

Forget Rasputin! The REAL villain of this movie is Demetri! Seriously, after Anastasia gets amnesia from her family's execution, he doesn't even bother to tell her about it until AFTER they get married and have a kid! *WTF?!?!*

[@CMW1995]

Demetri: "D'aaaw, there's no way a duchess like Anastasia would wanna be with a peasant boy like me...." Anastasia: "I don't remember who I am" Demetri: "HOT DAMN! This relationship may work out after all! :D"

[@teddyfurstman1997]

Your Art's Awesome. This Review is Funny.

[@Gasoline85]

Demetri is an even more colossal ass than the prince in Cinderella, also reviewed by Phelous.

[@MontyPythonFanatic2]

nerdsman567 That's some Passengers-level false-pretense romance shit right there.

[@oren1305]

+steven smith Pretty sure he was just joking. It's still morally suspect to not bother to tell her about her past after all of that, though; why couldn't he have told her before they married, making her promise to never reveal her secret? Also, 'being in love before she got amnesia', yes, that's true, but did she remember him and being in love with him after getting amnesia? It's a weird power imbalance going on, and even though she consented and they seem happy, it's still strange.

[@WeebTimeCapsule]

I cracked up so hard at the "Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!" music. Yes, so appropriate.

[@SuperCodywebb]

Bugs: Kill the wabbit?

[@jacksongibbs8998]

Bugs: 🥺

[@Kropka308]

I ship Clara and Old Man :)

[@Dreigonix]

Them in bed: "You're so wet... You're completely useless now." (somebody laser me now)

[@Ratciclefan]

Dreigonix lol

[@thegayghost872]

How dare you

[@madieshion3422]

Dreigonix IMA 🔥 MA LAZOR! BWAAA!

[@James-ld5nf]

Ty tutaj?

[@Clonekiller66]

Okay... That "Peasant is the King" song is actually pretty damn good I must admit, Ive caught myself listening to it alone on KZbin. Guess even a broken clock is right twice a day.

[@amakel4365]

in the same vein, that song anastasia sings in the secret of Anastasia is a freaking bop and her voice was too good for that movie

[@LchanOtakudom]

I’m glad I’m not the only one who enjoyed that song! I guess it’s true, villains always DO get the best songs!

[@BrenTenkage]

yeah to actually be fair its a good song, very inspiring and in a better movie I bet it would fit well...well least up till that last part with him being king

[@wastelandlegocheem]

It doesnt make sense as a song but the tune is fine

[@magicmoonart]

Disgusting peasants with no taste in music

[@209clayton]

You know say what you want about the don bleuth version.... at least it remembered that Rasputin died

[@AllyGatorAnimator]

Even though it was a blatant middle-finger to history, the Don Bluth film clearly knows it's a fantastical take on a real event and at least has the sense to have Anastasia vanish at the end to cover themselves (so you could at least pretend the whole thing was in the grandmas senile imagination if you wanted to). I'm fairly sure most of these ripoffs genuinely think that this is a fairytale and not an adaptation of a real event where an entire family died. It's depressing that the adaptation with Rasputin being an undead sorcerer with a talking bat sidekick is the animated adaptation that tries the hardest.

[@LadyTylerBioRodriguez]

Yep, that version is the LEAST insulting, what a world to live in.

[@tiffanystewart9265]

@@AllyGatorAnimator plus it makes up for what it lacks in history with breathtaking animation, great music, well written and acted characters and a really fun and scary villain.

[@ClaudetteVioletta]

@@LadyTylerBioRodriguez And it actually have SOUL

[@tiffanystewart9265]

@@ClaudetteVioletta exactly

[@lilfizz1619]

"She's the daughter of the Tsar, isn't she? I finally find the girl of my dreams and I'll never be able to marry her." I love that he's more concerned that he can't marry her than the fact that she's GOING TO GET MURDERED. Why does everyone in this movie treat death like a second priority or a minor annoyance??

[@TheArceusftw]

Thank you mario, but your writing skills are in another castle!

[@marieclaire6193]

Oh! Mama Mia!

[@98953812]

Somecallmejohnny: "Mother of God..."

[@masterfarr8265]

also he's the uncle guy

[@CloverSchilling]

I was going to make a comment about that dude taking an amnesiac Anastasia and living with her, romancing her and eventually marrying and having a kid with her, WITHOUT telling her a single thing about her family was really creepy, but then I remembered this is Golden Films. Creepy interactions are a drop in the bucket next to shitty talking animal sidekicks and endless filler.

[@blazingroseninja9574]

I still find it disturbing to this day

[@Chimerism101]

And overused classical/public domain music.

[@snakes3425]

What next a trilogy of animated muscials about the sinking of the Titanic....oh wait

[@anikmonette2140]

snakes3425 I kinda want Phelous to review these but I'm afraid for his sanity...

[@NodDisciple1]

W/ special cameos by Titanic Bot!

[@diepssuarez2676]

Secret of the titanic is already a musical. Rip! (Its North Korean)

[@rassilontdavros3004]

anik monette That would be nice. I haven’t watched you-know-who’s reviews of those since I started boycotting CA, and Phelan’s would probably be way better anyway.

[@shwahgamer]

Remember though! Only two of those are connected because 1 is an actual sequel to the other. The one with the rapping dog is entirely separate from the other two.

[@megafudge280]

Umm yellow bird chews on seed and says it tastes like chicken? I think theres a dark secret this creatures hiding.

[@megafudge280]

Well that or this is just badly written....Naaaaaaaaah

[@goufr3540]

Golden Films and bad writing, that cant possibly happen.

[@RavenXeo]

He chews on his own foot. he seems to reference being a chicken several times.. including having a chicken dangle thing... but then flies like a canary..

[@jjjmadness8306]

Well cannibalism would make this film a whole lot funnier, mostly because we wouldn't have to deal with the annoying birds anymore.

[@mevicky100]

He puts his foot in his mouth, literally and figuratively, and remarks, "Tastes like chicken." Wow, Golden Films, an almost funny joke. You spoil us.

[@chihirok1588]

Now see here!! Fabrege Eggs were not given out like that!! They were for Easter, sometimes Christmas and maybe birthdays. They were also given to the family by the guy who made them. And, not EVERYONE got one. There were also no singing birds in them.

[@agedstring]

Hold up a second where the birds voiced by Maddie blaustein, You know the voice of meowth in the Pokémon anime’s 4kids dub

[@ZekeAxel]

19:31 Also, Moscow was not the capital at the time, St. Petersburg (then renamed Petrograd) was. 21:34 The Hammer and Sickle weren't adopted as a symbol until 1923.

[@ginogatash4030]

they did the symbol wrong anyway, probably because they didn't want the actual hammer and sickle in a kids movie.

[@ginogatash4030]

@Simple Weirdo well the answer is the same as the ones to the questions of what was the point of the birds, the Romanov family, Anastasia's kids, uncle Boris, Anastasia's marriage, Rasputin's dog and pretty much the whole movie, NONE, pretty much nothing but Rasputin, the love interest guy, and the fabrigè eggs and the bullet catching medal have a real effect on the plot, and Anastasia herself is so passive throughout the whole thing she might have been a potato sack.

[@Canada1994]

Also the film said that the Tsar's troops were in Germany in 1917. The only time that the Russians were in Germany in WW1 were in the opening days of the war in 1914 when they were crushed by Hindenburg at Tannenberg.

[@micharosa6201]

@@HBKnowItAll Thanks, now i have in my head Lenin in Golden Films style.

[@ExplorerDS6789]

Just the other day, I watched this film the whole way through... and it is EXACTLY how Phelous describes it. No exaggerations whatsoever. The ending is depressing, that yellow bird never shuts up, the characters are all done very poorly and the story is incoherent and makes little to no sense in several places. I truly believe they RUSHED this thing out to try and beat Don Bluth's Anastasia. The animation is not bad, but the script is horrible, and I can't imagine children enjoying this movie. As said before, the ending is depressing and the fact that Anastasia's family is murdered and the evil Rasputin getting away with everything is unsettling.

[@EvilSandwich]

I never understood why Rasputin is always the villain in these movies. Wasn't he fiercely loyal to the Romanovs?

[@TheRoflcer]

I think Rasputin was aware that there was a call to arms of the common people that and assisted them materially and socially. It's possible he did so to quell the rebellion by happening, but likely suspected trying to influence it's uprising. It's documented that he spoke with many clergy men, bragging about having influence over the Tsar and many of his other associates, and this became known to the royals, which got him on their hit-list.

[@SuperCosmicMutantSquid]

@@TheRoflcer To put it as simple as possible, his ego got him killed? Among other things of course.

[@nicholasking4302]

Rasputin was regarded as a villian and pervert by the majority of the Romonavs (outside of the Tsar, Tsaritsa and kids) as well as the Russian people. He was portrayed as a villian in movies going back to the 1920s.

[@Clonekiller66]

Well kind of. He *was* a traitor and part of the initial spark that egged everyone on to rebel. He mostly fed the fire, probably to ensure his own survival. But of course, since he was so buddy buddy with the Romanovs he was executed. So you can basically make of him what you will. He's just a guy who joined a cause hoping it'd save his own ass.

[@nicholasking4302]

@@Clonekiller66 That's wrong. He was killed by the Czar's relations in 1916, before the revolution began. And he had nothing to do with the uprisings that started the revolution (other than being hated by the Russian people and seen as "the devil" and another reason to get rid of the Czar and his "evil insane wife.")

[@admnov93]

So.... This means that only Anastasia movie that Rasputin actually win?

[@Ridley882]

Amolina44 "Dont forget, we just totally left Russia in control of Rasputin."

[@davidspring4003]

again the Bluth version is superior if only in the fact that they DIDN'T have Rasputin leading the charge. They just kinda intimated he used his powers to INCREASE their displeasure with the Romanovi from the shadows. And he appeared in the palace to watch the carnage and tried to kill Anastasia.

[@anikmonette2140]

I don't think that being in the cold was what made the tsaverich ill, but the carriage he was in took a bump and injured him, and since he was hemophiliac it made it worse. But the true irony reside in what happened next: Alexei's mother contacted Rasputin in hope that he might cure his son with prayer, who ended up with a severe hemorrhage that won't heal and high fever. Rasputin also told her to not let the doctors bother him. And guess what the doc might have give the boy to lower his fever? Aspirin! And Salicylic Acid is totally NOT a good option when your blood won't clot... So when Alxei recovered in mere days Rapustin was totally a hero for the Royal Family.

[@Tareltonlives]

Golden...films...Anastasia....... I'm just imagining what Dingo's version would look like

[@Tareltonlives]

You do know this means you have to review all of them now, right?

[@mokonarose01]

Tareltonlives Phelous, guess what you have to review next :^)

[@DarkMageLiam]

I saw the 1 minute trailer on dingo's website, and picked up on three things. 1) The animation is on par with their renditions of Hunchback and Pocahontas 2) One of the characters looks like a redesigned Frollo. 3) There is a lack of Wabuu.

[@Tareltonlives]

Drunk dog facepalm. I hope that comes back in other Golden Films reviews.

[@Tareltonlives]

Meanwhile, Lenin's standing in the square tapping his foot -"Where IS everybody? Did they do the Revolution without me? And what about that February revolution-did they just skip that?"

[@MissFlow]

This is probably where the rumor of Anastasia having survived the excecution came from: From what I've learned she survived the first excecution salvo along with her mother and sisters because as you explained: they were wearing diamonds in their corsets, which did block most of the bullets. However, with the 2nd salvo, the Bolsheviks noticed them still being alive and killed them after all with their bajonets. They tried to dump the bodies that next morning in a flooded mine but there wasn't enough water to cover them up so they moved them to another mine. This went on until the car got stuck in the mud and thus the bodies were just dumped somewhere. It wouldn't be until the early 90's till they were found again, but 2 skeletons were missing. 2 investigations came up and the Russian one declared that the missing bodies were of Maria and Aleksej, Anastasia's sister and brother. But the American one claimed it were Anastasia herself and Aleksej missing. Somehow, in western countries people were saying/hoping/predicting Anastasia is the one alive, while in Russia they believed it was Maria being the sole survivor. A lot of imposters and people claiming to be either Anastasia, Maria or Aleksjei appeared during that time. The mystery kept going for a long time. Until in 2007 new human remains were found near the grave of the Romanovas, consisting of bones of 2 teenagers, which were burned. Russian authorities then concluded (with comfirmation of English scientists) these were the 2 missing bodies, being of Aleksej and either Anastasia or Maria, making the family bodie count complete. Oh and there DEF were some annoying birds spawning from the faberge eggs inthere. Common knowledge :)

[@rainylupin]

13:34 Rasputin actually was known for having a very intense stare and captivating eyes. If you see photos of the dude, they actually are rather hypnotic. Don't know about full on hypnotising people tho

[@puppymaroon964]

I think they should have had Rasputin cast a spell on Anastasia to make her forget he's planning on overthrowing her father. That would justify Anastasia not trying to stop Rasputin.

[@StarSnowGhost]

I never knew Stalin and Rasputin were the same person, but props on this movie for educating me!

[@monkeycat48]

Actually they’re not the same person. Quite frankly, you forgot Lennon. Vladimir Lennon was actually main reason why the entire royal family was killed off. As Stalin, even though he was one of the revolutionaries, Vladimir Lennon saw him as somebody I shouldn’t put in power after me. he wanted Trosky to take his place but instead they all ignored Vladimir Lennon, Will, and selected Stalin. That would be considered to be one of their greatest regrets they ever made. now, as for Rasputin, he was no revolutionary. He was more of a fanatical, obsessed, perverted monk that literally I just couldn’t help but party and drink all the time. Now I was a Russian, especially part of the revolution, I’m fairly certain I would’ve literally been writing letters back-and-forth relatives and discussing with my comrades like this Satan, who sits besides the royal family needs to be destroyed. Like literally, Rasputin was hated by many of the people of Russia. He was giving the worst advice, yet that led to millions dead in the first world war.

[@thomasfredrickson6298]

5:40 "I'm sure they were Russian to get..." SMH in disgust 7:45 "Tastes like Chicken." That's coming from a talking Bird... Did he eat one of his kind?!

[@98953812]

Maybe he's a young Chicken Hawk???

[@98953812]

@@justacup8676 True

[@phantomdragon3893]

Honestly I think Don bluth's takes place in alternate universe and it's why it's not the accurate to what really happened then.

[@rubys1503]

Finally! Someone thinks this. This is what I’ve always assumed and I don’t know why everyone gets so angry about the inaccuracies. It’s just a movie, calm down people. I love the don bluth movie and is a classic, it’s not like they said “everything is this movie is definitely real.” They never claimed it was true. It’s just a “fairytale”

[@Dreigonix]

I was just rolling with it, taking in the suckage... Suddenly, Charles Martinet.

[@Vinnce12]

Wait, so Prince Fuckstain marries and has a child with Anastasia while she has amnesia. Isn't that... you know, a little rapey?

[@emilychristian7844]

Vinnce12 yeah... im...

[@daliborjovanovic510]

Yes, yes it is.

[@Iamafishproductions]

Oh, not at all. Whatever unfortunate animation choices (24:25-24:28) would give you that idea?

[@Vinnce12]

Baby it's could outside~

[@gwendolynstata3775]

Yeah, but she literally has no memory of him or herself and he doesn't bother to inform her of her life before they tie the knot and do the do. That's what makes it rapey. It's an uneven power balance. And rape isn't just when someone holds someone else down while they scream. Jesus.

[@ianmacmillan7865]

Here's something that I never understood, In all of these Anastasia movies, Why don't they make Lenin the Villain? He was responsible for the Bolshevik uprising in the first place. It would work better in this version too, If you switched Rasputin for Lenin and suddenly that "now 'I' am the King" line would make more sense.

[@Tareltonlives]

For some reason they latch onto Rasputin, even though his villainization was originally used as an excuse to overthrow Nicholas. "Our Czar and Czarina are so useless they're best friends with this smelly fanatic" That's one thing I'll give The Legend Of Anastasia: they bothered to make the villain a member of the VCheKa.

[@MateriaHunter]

The dog's design is a copy of Charlie, from all dogs go to heaven.

[@FrenchPaul1988]

So Golden Films did a Bluthverse before Don Bluth ? I imagine Dingo, having Land before Time and Anastasia ripoffs, could have been there first - if only science dinosaurs had tried to convince the Czar of his theory on science making you fly.

[@ExplorerDS6789]

It's ironic that THIS animated Anastasia is the most historically accurate. After watching this review, I wanted to learn more about Anastasia and her family. They have a very interesting history. Anastasia herself was quite a high-spirited child who, while not BAD or MEAN, was still a troublemaker and would pull pranks on unsuspecting servants. Very smart, very energetic. Her sisters, her brother and her parents were GOOD people at their core. They did NOT deserve what happened to them. From everything I've heard, the Romanovs were good people. They had faults, sure, and Nicholas II was an inexperienced and ineffectual leader, but he had poor training from his father. But anyway, LOVE the review, Phelous, and I urge everybody to learn more about Anastasia and the Romanovs.

[@РоманПолянский-з1в]

Well... It's not so simple. Problem in these cartoons about Anastasia, it's they don't show a lot of context. Russia had many troubles, starting from starving - ending with social none equal. Rasputin was one of these problems, yes, he saved Aleksei by not magic (well as I believe in it), but because he was smart than anyone else. Royal family thanks him and give him place in their family; time comes and Rasputin, as many people thought, controls and manipulate tsar, but he just gave him advices that tsar didn't listen mostly time. It's not excuse for Rasputin himself, since he used his royalty to tsar, for doing bad things; he drunks, he fighting with others people, he (Rasputin was deep faithfully man) sleep with girls, which of course he was criticized by many people. Russian family in that time, didn't have a nice times too. They were criticized, especially after previous tsar Nicholas the first, who was... Let's just say "Not so good, but not so bad".

[@redvelvetunderground]

"good" people? tzar nicholas murdered countless people

[@ExplorerDS6789]

@@redvelvetunderground well, what world leader hasn't?

[@frenchcookie42]

It stuns me that none of these Disney knock off studios ever thought to just squash Beauty and Beast together with Anastasia and make a shoddily animated and voice acted French Revolution movie... 2 birds 1 stone, you know?

[@masterfarr8265]

That moment you realize Animaniacs did a more accurate telling of Anastasia than this movie in 46 minutes less than this one which was 51 minutes

[@ericemigh3869]

I wonder if they originally intended Lenin or Stalin to be the main villain before they decided to fully ape Bluth, hence the villain's victory. Could even be that the "Rasputinberg" joke was originally supposed to highlight the "Leningrad"/"Stalingrad" egotism. Or maybe I'm just trying to rationalize a dumb script.

[@videobeetle8]

Say what you will about 'The Secret of AnnieStain', at least that movie had a proper resolution and actual plot. This just overcompensates with way too much filler before they realized they made too much and just sent it out before actually finishing the story.

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Which is why I prefer to call Golden Films' Anastasia, "Phailstasia".

[@JohnnyElRed]

Why all the stories about Anastasia are afraid of talking about communism, or at least showing Lenin in a shot?

[@ginogatash4030]

@@DLAbaoaqu how has Lenin have any good pubblicity? i never heard anyone talking about him in positive light. also, Columbus didn't really kill the natives all by himself (volountarely at least), though he had some weird racist philosophical rethoric going on his head.

[@Pollicina_db]

Actually there is one cartoon that featured Lenin

[@ginogatash4030]

@Demiclea wasn't he a dictator? Or am I mistaking him for someone else?

[@ginogatash4030]

@Demiclea then how is he popular?

[@ginogatash4030]

@Demiclea wouldn't that be bad?

[@theponydalek7923]

Old man vs Waboo, dawn of Eeeeeeeeee coming this summer

[@sweetcinnamonpnchkin]

That idea is sooooo stupid hehehehe

[@nemanjadvizac4768]

You mean ,,Old Mayor,,

[@KossolaxtheForesworn]

"most of the old men are so stupid." 'oh a delicious raccoon.'

[@olserknam]

Starring the My God! Lion as Wonder Woman

[@davidspring4003]

Mah Herah!

[@AJ-The-Bumblebee]

I now want Mario to narrate the story of this film. "A small girl experienced her family being murdered in cold blood, and her life was destroyed. She did absolutely nothing to stop it or to reclaim her position, and civilization fell. Evil wins kids! And remember, don't do drugs, or you'll go to hell before you die."

[@marieclaire6193]

You should search up the video "Mario Reads A Story". It's great.

[@guilhermehank4938]

"...Please"

[@ShadeMeadows]

Oh! Hi Slinky!~😆

[@Changeling9000]

"Fools!" "Shut Up!" XD

[@bloodybutterflygaming1242]

Crazy Horse 9000 Creepy timing that I came to this comment just as I reached that moment in the review...

[@BlazeHeartPanther]

best part of the review XD

[@T5ComixCartoonz]

That "Fools" crack could easily be said for the people who made this movie.

[@98953812]

IAmTheUnison And the"shut up" would be from Diane Eskinazi (yes, that is her last name), the director. XD

[@Zelli52]

Phelous keep going into the history of this crap I love hearing about it

[@Zelli52]

Oh Phelous Anastasia's older sisters were nurses in the war, but she never tended to the sick because she was too young at the time. She would make official appearances though

[@TommyDeonauthsArchives]

Zelli52 I like how Phelous was reading a Russian Ninja Turtles book while wearing a Ninja Turtles shirt with Japanese on it.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

It's a little known fact that the Tsar being deposed, all russian soldiers suddenly switched to RED uniforms, so they can re-enact the Red Alert games.

[@InnocentDarkside]

"Is it done, Rasputin?" "No comrade Lenin, it has only begun." \cue Hell March

[@athomicritics]

Swift Nimblefoot rasputin was obviously a age of empires priest

[@FrenchPaul1988]

Yeah, normally (if I remember my history right) you have the "white" army (royal army) vs the "red" army (the Bolcheviks). I don't think soldiers would switch from one to the other, unless some traitors from the royal army managed to join the Bolcheviks.

[@SwiftNimblefoot]

@@InnocentDarkside You joke, but I always wanted to draw a joke comic where the time machine scientist guy, after killing Hitler, goes back in time again to kill Stalin too, and this just changes history to one where Rasputin took over Russia and assaulted Europe with armies of bugs and undead. :D

[@victorlolxd7347]

@@SwiftNimblefootThis is why the goverment took away your writing priviliges…

[@123lealea]

The only good thing I can say about this movie is that the song "Freedom" is really catchy and has a nice tone to it. It's just a shame it had to be sung in this horrid movie.

[@DocNighto]

I agree, that song is actually nice.

[@ShadeMeadows]

Agreed~

[@98953812]

Come now, let the freedom ring! Feel the fire of freedoms power! Come now, let the people sing! Sing, sing, now the peasant is the king!

[@Creepsandwicheater]

I'm still waiting for the demon summoning cyborg rasputin. Why do these films always get that historical detail wrong?

[@petehill7280]

Because it's more entertaining. To quote the Horrible Histories version of Shakespeare: "I never let facts get in the way of a good story!"

[@geardog24]

Day Man What movie was that?

[@Creepsandwicheater]

geardog24 well it's not a movie.

[@enjiyurifer4602]

Raidou Kuzunoha did that right 😂

[@Creepsandwicheater]

EnjiYuri Fer thank you.

[@prowlandsasuke]

well at least the nutcracker background music was Russian.

[@melissalayson7275]

So was Swan Lake.

[@godzillasaurbuttersworth3176]

Just recently saw the Broadway adaptation of Don Bleuth's Anastasia At least in that version, not only did Anastasia not have cartoon amnesia (they made it clear that she could remember something's, and had serious PTSD), but the also replaced Rasputin (and unfortunately axing his villain song) w the communist party, and more specifically, the son of the man who shot the Rominoffs, who is now tasked w killing Anastasia. It still has problems (the musical can't seem to decide it believes the communism is a good system run by flawed people and the imperials where wicked and greedy or if communist is inherently evil and what they did to those people where terrible), but it's at least more serious and and has great music.

[@LadyTylerBioRodriguez]

Interesting, at least the Communists are the bad guy without Rasputin being for some reason evil. Though I would admit its not the same without In the Dark of the Night, Jim Cummings sang that song so well.

[@Canada1994]

At least this Anastasia had EVERY member of the Imperial family in it and wasn't missing two of the daughters like in "The secret of Anastasia" and had Anastasia be the right age (17) when the Romanovs were killed. Also I didn't know that Rasputin "healed" Alexei and that was how he started to become so important to the Tsar Lastly I'll come out and say it but I liked the villain song in this film minus the whole "Rasputin is now the King" part

[@daredrogers3884]

Yeah same here but then again it's probably because it gives me that what I call "90's kids show that has any sort of plot with a villain and stuff and child you thinks it's really cool!" vibes and that vibe gives me nostalgia.

[@Tareltonlives]

"Also I didn't know that Rasputin "healed" Alexei and that was how he started to become so important to the Tsar" Pretty much. He was already a popular faith healer when he was introduced to the Czar by royal in-laws. His prayers seemed to soothe Alexi when he suffered from hemophilia, and he certainly made Alexandra feel better, and then after a 1912 incident when Alexei hemorraged but recovered under Rasputin's care, Nicholas made him lampadnik (basically official court attendant to the Palace's icons), and became very important to Nicholas and Alexandra as a personal friend who would pray for them in exchange for money, parties and prostitutes.

[@Canada1994]

@@Tareltonlives Thanks didn't know that either.

[@Nekucloud]

The crowd shot looks like M&M's going down the drain.😂

[@3ll3ira]

those birds look like Jacquimo from the Don Bluth Thumbelina movie

[@mevicky100]

3ll3ira They also remind me of the little birds from Pebble and the Penguin, also by Don Bluth

[@lovetolovefairytales]

3ll3ira don't insult that poor thumbelina bird like that! Lol.

[@stephenbrown4698]

Wait...The Secret of Anastasia...Anastasia (Golden Films)...if there's an Anastasia (Dingo Pictures), then I wouldn't know what to do.

[@DarkMageLiam]

I believe there is a dingo pictures version of Anastasia. www.dingo-pictures.de/en/anastasia-en.htm

[@halospartan129500]

Stephen Brown there is a dingo pictures Anastasia you really gotta check it out 😂

[@sigfridKKP]

There is.

[@theadamblock]

Indeed, there is, and it's probably my favorite Dingo adaption. It is so ridiculous!

[@c-puff]

@Stephen Brown Phelous just posted on his tumblr that the Dingo version is up on his Patreon. GUESS WHAT'S NEXT, GUYS????

[@ExplorerDS6789]

I recently saw that there's going to be an Anastasia movie coming in 2018. At first I got excited as I hoped they would make one about her life and living with her family in Russia during the Revolution, as her story is very interesting. But NO, you know what it is? A live-action version of the Don Bluth film! I mean, HOW many adaptations of Anna Anderson's story do we need? They should make a true-to-life Anastasia movie about her and her family and actually show Rasputin as he REALLY was: a strange, yet peaceful man whom the Romanov children adored. If you read up on the Romanov family, they were GOOD people. I mean I owe it to Phelous and his Anastasia reviews for getting me interested in reading up on the Grand Duchess and her family. Very interesting.

[@RichardWatt]

And the family was moved to a house in Ekaterinburg owned by a Boleshevik sympathiser (the name escapes me at the moment) before they were executed. In fact, the house became a shrine for people after the Communists took power to the point where the authorities eventually bulldozed it down.

[@DinosaurFan88]

Personally, I'd rather see a remake of Nicholas and Alexandra, that 1970s movie that actually depicts the events of Nicholas II's final years in power (and has Tom Baker in the role of Rasputin).

[@redvelvetunderground]

please stop simping over royals it's really pathetic

[@HealthyFitFree]

Well... opening up with the Nutcracker shows that at least they knew Tchaikovsky was Russian

[@nerdsman567]

Or they had no idea whatsoever and it was just an extreme coincidence.

[@meredithfaraday9435]

thevegannurse They scored everything woth Tchaikovsky, so it's coincidence.

[@Gasoline85]

I'm leaning more towards the latter.

[@trupype3028]

There's a bit of Grieg in there too and he's Norwegian

[@Tareltonlives]

Probably has more to do with Anna Anderson claiming she was rescued by a private Tchaikovsky, buuuut the irony is hilarious

[@kingofthegundam7974]

They made a different Anastasia rip off? How Golden.

[@dicerthejester5715]

Dingo Pictures also made one It stinks worse than a roadkill dingo......

[@kingofthegundam7974]

Two versions worse than the first one Phelous covered? No Goodtimes here...

[@orateusdijin6557]

Or never rise to phoenix levels of cringe

[@kingofthegundam7974]

Uhhh... Phoenix Games is Dingo Pictures.

[@orateusdijin6557]

Oh.. thx for telling me dude

[@snowbeast4463]

Rasputin's first act as Tsar was to found The Ministry of Silly Walks.

[@yoshiyajoshuakiryu3198]

Literally got a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich commercial after the bird asked for a medal. 😂😂😂

[@Sephirothwolf]

That Rasputin... such a shame how he carried on...

[@annietrinity1833]

7:43 No comment on the fact that Ghost Bird is apparently a cannibal, Phelous?!

[@lwanco1018]

Well no one was talking about how the bird took a bite out of the seed, only to show that nothing happened to it. Also that's a pretty common phrase.

[@BATCHARRO]

Have you ever given chicken to a chicken? That would be the most realistic part of any of this.

[@PrettyH8Mach1n3]

Batzarro I suppose they do peck each other to death and eat each other at factory farms...

[@RiderKick_93]

If Vladimir Putin eats raspberries he becomes Rasputin

[@GOFFBITZH666]

Very funny.

[@Tareltonlives]

He's his own evil counselor!

[@ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45]

what if Putin is Rasputin reincarnated??... *X Files

[@Zeon01]

@@ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45 The truth is out there.

[@dragonempress8367]

@@ninyaninjabrifsanovichthes45 lol maybe

[@thomasfredrickson6298]

Wait. Charles Martinet, the Voice of Freakin Mario and Luigi, co-wrote the Screenplay???

[@NightShadowNS]

I want this movie mounted on my wall!

[@javierrico1996]

I also think that he voice-acted in this, too. He played the annoying yellow bird.

[@AguFungus]

​@@javierrico1996 And "Evil Russian Mario."

[@CarrietheCritic]

In reality, Rasputin died before the Romanovs.

[@ginogatash4030]

he says that in the video already.

[@masterfarr8265]

no, he became a ghost and fucked with Anastasia years later

[@ClaudetteVioletta]

!-

[@Hewylewis]

I'm surprised how much closer the Golden Films version was to what actually happened to the Romonovs than The Secret of Anastasia was!

[@harley-wp6xt]

In fairness to this movie, Rasputin's villain song wasn't TOO awful... like at least it was an original song I guess?

[@aquack9919]

Honestly, I kind of like Rasputin's song.

[@DocNighto]

I like it aswell. It's the only acceptable thing in this movie (the animation on the song sucks though, almost as bad as Dingo Pictures)

[@SuzakuMalikXemnas]

IDK, it does sound similar to Bluth Rasputin's song in the beginning a little bit...

[@puppymaroon964]

I liked Rasputin's song. I also liked the song Anastasia sings when she and her family go out for a sleigh ride.

[@gothnerd887]

@@aquack9919 phew I thought I was weird for liking obscure villain songs

[@c-puff]

This movie is supremely uncomfortable. You guys know that Alexis and either Anastasia or her sister's bodies were taken off the cart transporting the evidence of the execution and set on fire, right? And when it proved to take too long the plan to do this to the rest of the family was abandoned. Sooooo. yeah that scene in the forest and the cart.... MAYBE a little uncomfortable to watch??? Regardless of what happens to her in this stupid-ass movie???

[@gokigenyou9524]

The scene of the stupid smiling soldier holding a dead body was uncomfortable, mainly because it was present in a children's film. And at first I did not realize it was Anastasia since all the sisters are exactly alike ... I thought she was one of the dead sisters. I was like "WTF"

[@maddieadaddy]

*10 Hours of Uncle Boris laughing*

[@essbiebrown8839]

Apparently the annoying voice of the yellow bird/the ghost from Beauty and the Beast/that green angel from Little Angels The Brightest Christmas has been Martinet this whole time as well, at least according to his Wikipedia article. Take this knowledge and the fact I keep forgetting that he voiced Paarthurnax in Skyrim and OH MAMA MIA.

[@misskrr983]

When you cut to the credits I positively burst out laughing. "Oh Anastasia what have they done to yo-- 🎵I CANNNNNN DREEEEEAAAAMMMM🎵

[@WilliamGarland]

Not to stick up for Golden Films, but the Romanovs, including Anastasia and her sisters, did visit wounded soldiers in battlefield hospitals during WWI (to boost morale), the Tsar took pictures of it himself: mashable.com/2015/01/10/romanov-family-photos/ The rest is still made up though, not to give them too much credit.

[@breaksystembse]

"Fools..." "Shut up." Not sure why, but I lost it there. xD

[@banananutduckbread1279]

Me: Okay, enough procrastinating, lemme get back to work-- *sees that Phelous uploaded something new* Me: Maybe just one more video...

[@banananutduckbread1279]

Джек Миллер Maybe so, maybe so. XD

[@danstiver9135]

Wow, the Golden Films version of Anastasia's story doesn't even include Christian Grey!

[@Kohdok]

If you want more Clara, "Young Pocahontas" can hook you up.

[@autobotproductions1244]

but wasn't Pocahontas already young to begin with?

[@DoReMi123acb]

God bless you, boi!

[@DoReMi123acb]

@@autobotproductions1244 ssshhhhhh! Rule 34 must not KNOW!

[@BATCHARRO]

My name is Anastasia...and I remember everything. I used to work at a secret facility for Rasputin corporation called "The Palace". They where running experiments attempting to make birds talk. Problem was...they didn't stay quiet.

[@Glyhnzel]

How fitting that an ad played at the ending right when you said "I must be stopped" LOL

[@AmishParadise27]

Screenplay by Charles Martinet? What the fucking fuck???!!!

[@paulmajano]

AmishParadise27 (AKA: Tyler) damn it Mario!!!! 😝

[@ElvenRaptor]

Frizzurd He could have written it a few years prior and it only got made and released by 1997.

[@blackyoshi1230]

Frizzurd - According to his IMDB page, at least this was his only writing credit.

[@devanhinskey9001]

Apparently, Charles Martinet also voiced a couple characters in this like Uncle Boris. I know this because on Martinet's official website, there's a voice reel containing his work on cartoons and the line found here (24:32) is located near the end of said reel.

[@HBarnill]

Devan Hinskey Of course he'd voice the one with a stupid looking mustache.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

See what happened was the Tsar stole Baba Yaga's car and killed his dog, and well a lot of dead bodies followed

[@KingdomHeartsBrawler]

The worst part is that you can hear little bits of Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Mouser in that yellow bird Charles Martinet played. It's like they're all there against their will and trying to escape!

[@marcusporter3336]

I grew up with this movie. Had it on VHS. If I could find it on Bluray or DVD, I would happily buy it again. You get a like for bringing back happy memories.

[@thegirlleastlikelyto]

If you ever get a chance, check out Golden Films version of 'Gulliver's Travels'... It's the only rip-off movie I had as a kid, and the only thing I can remember about it was spaghetti. Like, a lot of spaghetti. No memories of characters or story, just vivid memories of watching these cheap cartoons talking about spaghetti. I googled it and sure enough, the main song was called 'Pasta and Society'. Highly recommended.

[@AllyGatorAnimator]

Oh God, I saw that song floating around the internet a while ago...that's from their version of GULLIVER'S TRAVELS?! WHAT?!

[@thegirlleastlikelyto]

Yup. My favourite part is how they loop the animation over and over and the fact that it's in FUCKING GULLIVER'S TRAVELS.

[@RobotwarsKing]

I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!

[@Koolkitty_9]

I JUST LOVE How their still in their royal gear during the execution. Yurovsky took Nicholas and Alexei's epaulettes in early 1918 along with a good chunk of their jewelry (minus what was sewn into their clothes, aka the medicine as they called it). Also, Anastasia looking out hte window singing, when those windows were whitewashed and she was once shot at for opening a window and sticking her head out {This has only came from a few sources so It may not have actually occurred)

[@AmieEss]

"You'll be more comfortable in the basement" Lmao.

[@AuroraKnux]

_Mario_ wrote the screenplay for this??? What kind of bizarre timeline are we living in?

[@J2k24s]

25:24 The entire next 30 seconds just makes my sides split every time 🤣

[@axelvoss9653]

"Screenplay by Charles Martinet" Well whaddya know. Mario DID have something to do with this after all. So that's why most of his games have barebones stories.

[@Katerking96]

Actually, Anastasia and Maria did help out and sponsored a hospital for wounded soldiers during Ww1. The older sisters Olga and Tatisna worked as nurses.

[@aneveningwithebola2727]

Weird that of all the things to get right historically, they went with the fact that Rasputin was a heavy drinker.

[@Mathee]

Okay, I haven't started the review yet, but I just wanted to say, THANK YOU for looking at this movie! My grandpa had this movie on VHS, and I remember watching it once and being so bored that I couldn't even finish it, and I am so happy that you're reviewing it!

[@MsDefectiveToaster]

I think Anastasia and her sisters actually did visit military hospitals. I know they were nurses to help the war effort at one point.

[@gracekim1998]

Gotta love how the ‘happy ending’ in this movie is a terrible fate for Anastasia 😅 At least Clara cameoed😅 I’m SO glad you played the Wabbit clip🤣 it’s what I think of EVERYTIME that tune is played!