Anger Management - Campfire Stories

That time Zach got a little too angry.
🥽 / discord
🕊️ / mikeburnfire
🕊️ / zach_hazard
🧞 / mikeburnfire
🔥 / mikeburnfire
👾 / mikeburnfire
Nonstop - Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
creativecommons...

[@fabioribeiro4627]

"I don't have PTSD from being in Iraq, I have PTSD from being at Fort Polk" ...That...hit me really hard for some reason

[@justin2308]

Because it’s true? I mean, ask anyone (or anyone ELSE) in the service, and see what they say. The actual enemy might not be what they answer.

[@GweAnakJakarta]

care to share your story?

[@MrWolfe-pf8pm]

Oh yeah, I feel you there. Definite PTSD.............. Yeup......

[@zacharyclark4092]

A jarhead, not a full metal jacket

[@Loxu69]

I feel like anyone would have PTSD after setting up cabinets for 2 months only to have some retard forcibly take them for something he cant even use them for

[@en4135]

"Lemme just antagonize this clearly unstable anxious mess who controls ALL OF OUR WEAPONS"

[@airplanemaniacgaming7877]

as Zach keeps saying, the brass at Ft. Polk during his time there (and from what I can tell given all the horror stories online about that place, always) were so incompetent and unbearably stupid, it's not even funny. it actually loops around from "not funny" to "fucking hilarious" to "Oh my fucking god it's actually commanded by a bunch of fucking clowns in uniforms." to _"Indiscernible laughter"_ back to "not funny"

[@Tounushi]

@@airplanemaniacgaming7877 And that, children, is how we turn the funny knob to Wheel of Fortune.

[@TooLateForIeago]

It "works" for the aviation industry...

[@AntonAdelson]

Even W40K ecclesiarchy knows not to do this!

[@shodosparrow2241]

Yes I hope his firing pin went missing

[@revkun]

I like the idea of Zach snapping his phone and high ranking military officers just comforting him

[@idiotofthenorth]

Yep just Z:*snaps phone* The Sargents: *looks of sympathy*

[@recklesssquirel5962]

​@idiotofthenorth there there buddy. We understand.

[@dr.bright6272]

I'm really hoping that guy who stole Zach's cabinets found out he couldn't fit Humvee parts in them and looked like an idiot.

[@gewuerzwanze5627]

im pretty sure he is used to that high thpeed

[@7zero701]

I doubt he was even planning on putting humvee parts in them

[@Anemoia22]

Humvee partth*

[@GenshinLover283]

@@7zero701 probably wanted them just because he wanted them or he wanted to piss off Zach

[@Techhunter_Talon]

It would have been funnier if that same guy was in Anger Management. :P

[@lapislucas001]

I want a mod for new Vegas that makes Zach and Mike own a gun shop. And more then half of Zach's dialogue is him being in the army. And Mike just sits there. Until the player walks in with Cass. Then its Zach going "Hi Cass" and pick up lines. And Mike just sits there telling his stories about being in the Marines like what was his favorite color crayon to eat

[@lordduelist8716]

Agreed

[@infernalmaster9991]

Tell Fuse

[@lapislucas001]

@@infernalmaster9991 who

[@nekoali2]

I would absolutely make this a permanent addition to my NV mod list if it existed.

[@comradebusman3]

Someone make this.

[@founderoftheempire8589]

I was expecting Zach to say at anger management "I'm in here because I threatened to kill my Chief if he took my cabinets"

[@hwhaht]

Theemm sum nice Cabnitz High Theeeeed!

[@hwhaht]

@maXim beEfus u ainn genin none mah cabnitz higher theed

[@nullpoint3346]

He never actually threatened them? But then again it's military, even absolutely submission is perceived as threatening their authority.

[@carlblaser3320]

I could’ve settle for “hi I’m e4 Zach and my chief tried to take my cabinets”

[@themaddoctor1741]

@@nullpoint3346 well he did say “you would be dead before you take my cabinets.” Reasonable response, judging how he wanted to store too large of parts in a cabinet already set up

[@prof_oprah2280]

I’m getting sent to Ft. Polk, god help me

[@christopherscotti3841]

I’m so sorry

[@ghuttsmckenzie4269]

You poor soul...

[@jsmith4liberty]

My deepest commiserations

[@MegaRazor619]

So how is it?

[@3bydacreekside]

Dear god

[@republicradio431]

I just like to inagine that you 2 are just 2 NCR troopers and that conversation is cannon

[@justin2308]

La Republica canal oficial No joke, I actually have a head canon that Zach was in a militia stationed at Fort Polk in the Fallout universe, went west to see if the NCRA was better, was a specialist there until he met Mike, left to be a toilet salesman, and finally Mike convinced him after Benny (and the intro) to join him on his adventures.

[@republicradio431]

@@justin2308 zack was the fallower all along!

[@steelbear2063]

​@@Bluesonofman So okay, Mike, as a young 19yo lad started his journey west. He reached California, joined NCR army 1st Recon and met Zach

[@dimsum3329]

Same

[@doomslayer2290]

Yeah just replace a few details and it works perfectly.

[@infernalmaster9991]

How zach didn't kill his entire company will forever make me confused

[@WUNDER64]

Anger management

[@infernalmaster9991]

@@WUNDER64 Dont you mean nap time?

[@AgentTasmania]

They gave this man a grenade launcher.

[@infernalmaster9991]

@@AgentTasmania bet they were thinking hmm that's a no no

[@eatenjaguar9854]

He couldn't find a way to do it without getting caught

[@chrisquiett1776]

An incompetence support group 😂 “I just don’t understand why he could buy his OWN FUCKING CABINETS!” “Yeah, we understand, E-3, it’s okay” *all clap softly*

[@hariman7727]

And wait two months for them to be delivered, and have to get them from the motor pool and put them in yourself instead of just picking them up from the Small arms repair? That would require extra work!

[@Khornecussion]

" Why aren't you here fixing guns? " He's at anger management so he doesn't make Columbine look like a fucking picnic.

[@calliope1379]

Nice

[@eamonnduensing6153]

ya im shure he would because he would make Columbine look a fucking tf2 pyrovision crak fuled dream.

[@JnEricsonx]

@@eamonnduensing6153 I would say the Heavy on WAY too much vodka.

[@eamonnduensing6153]

@@JnEricsonx oh shit ya thats true i would love to see that though.

[@MrMoron-qn5rx]

considering he knows how guns work, has access to ALL THE GUN PARTS HE NEEDS, and made a little cannon made out of a few parts that ended up blowing a hole in two roofs... yeah hes gonna make mothergunship's gun customiser look like the one from halo

[@fraserking4747]

[Clementine will remember this.] But seriously, I’ve never been involved in guns or the military in any way, and I feel this man’s anger. Poor Zach.

[@PhantomJavelin]

Lmao yeah, that's kind of the story of life in pretty much any large organization, except the military is the largest. Which means the bureaucracy is by and large the most egregious.

[@clownworldhereticmyron1018]

@@PhantomJavelin I feel like the military is uniquely incompetent in many ways. It has that special somethin'.

[@CaptainAwsome]

if i were in Zach's position, i would've done something similar

[@wepntech]

@@clownworldhereticmyron1018 one word, Government.

[@zealousdoggo]

The only somewhat competent people in this story are bravo company

[@somerandomguyyounevermet2117]

*Looks up the word incompetence in the dictionary* "Oh look, its Fort Poluk!"

[@justin2308]

What happens if you look up the word Unnecessary

[@Elmithian]

@@justin2308 1/5th of the military budget that somehow fades into the air?

[@justin2308]

Elmithian That’ll do

[@crimsondynamo615]

Elmithian hit the nail right on the head

[@theirishrave6448]

dont you mean "Fort Puke"?

[@nibblesowo]

My boss had an issue with people stealing our equipment locker. The whole locker and whatever was inside would just disappear in the night. Locks? Cut. Doors? Pried. Threats? Ignored. So he decides to be petty and goes a little overboard. He sunk a concrete support about ten foot into the ground, bolted the locker to the support, chained the whole thing to the floor, welded 400 lbs of metal to the back of it, and put a single padlock on the door. Next morning, we see they cut the chain and padlock and there’s scratches all over the thing from where they tried to lift it out, but the cabinet remained cemented in place! Two days later we installed cameras and caught the little SOB red handed.

[@nmotschidontwannagivemyrea8932]

Nice

[@Hates-handle]

My main question is why didn't they stop after discovering it was cemented in place

[@nibblesowo]

Spartan7731 crackheads from the local trailer park.

[@sirapple589]

FuriousToucannon The funny thing is that answers both Spartan7731’s question and GAS’s question.

[@SpaceMissile]

@@nibblesowo funny how crackheads will work that hard on shenanigans, but won't get a legitimate job

[@Jmanfire2105]

“I didn’t go to college! I don’t know how to organize a god damn part system!” College in no way helps you with that

[@cycofoo]

College fr isn’t for everyone, I’m a part of that group, can’t wait to start my journey of pain on June 7th.

[@mr5yy]

Really depends. If you happen to do some type of business management course, you'll learn good ways to do it. But that's really it.

[@joshuarubenstein2298]

Its something you learn on the way. You will never be directly told to organize a part system, but you sure as hell will need to. You sort of just figure it out yourself.

[@snakezase2998]

How would he know he didn’t go to college

[@christopherlue9096]

@@cycofoo So how’s college going? I’m in college now and it feels so draining.

[@tzeentchnco.7441]

I like that he said, "Incompetence of Fort Polk support group" And that it all has people who can't handle incompetency of Fort Polk

[@NEEDbacon]

Fed up with the incompetence and so high ranked or useful they couldn't be yeeted from service. A Distinct difference.

[@PrestonW9]

I cant stop laughing cause this mirrors so much of my time in service!

[@milk1472]

Currently serving, 2.5 years USAF security forces, I'm an armorer and it's always Hilarious to grit my teeth in empathy

[@nomad2639]

Presto Productions Thank you for your Service.

[@nomad2639]

Brent Hannon Thank you for your Service.

[@GregGetsBread]

So fucking true 😔

[@YouGottaShootEmInTheHead]

@@nomad2639 You know, the more people say thank you for your service, I am starting to think that rhey are saying "thank you foe putting out with the bullshit"

[@lostclodz9368]

I love this story. I called anger management in the Marines the think tank. Cause that's how everyone got there.

[@walnzell9328]

By thinking.

[@lostclodz9368]

@@walnzell9328 and being smartasses. That didn't help. Then tempers flare up.

[@theminuteman7611]

You thought? YOU THOUGHT!?!?!?

[@zaneviper]

THINK?! You can’t think! You should be eating crayons and glue

[@lostclodz9368]

@zaneviper you're not my dad i dont have to listen...and they stole all the blue ones, blues rhe best color!

[@totticosta2977]

"To demonstrate the rage inducing incompetence of Fort Polk... I snapped my phone in half" Specialist Zack

[@Jesus_Offical]

Lets see if Naptime can fix that

[@walnzell9328]

Imagine Zach needing to find 20 soldiers to help him get the cabinets out of the truck, so he goes around and finds all the Privates he can find and pulls rank on them. You. Private. Yeah? Private First Class. Come help me take these cabinets off the truck. Why? That's an order.

[@justin2308]

WALN Zell Can a Specialist actually give orders to Privates? Or can they and it’s just that a Corporal leads a unit full-time?

[@walnzell9328]

@@justin2308 I'm pretty sure anyone of a higher rank can, at any time, give orders to anyone below them in rank. Within reason, of course. The platoon leader won't like a cocky specialist ordering PFCs and privates to polish his boots. If Zach needed people to help move some equipment, I imagine he could order some privates to. Assuming they weren't doing anything else. But for sure, any soldier who orders a lower ranked one to do something that contradicts a superior officer to the both of them, is not gonna get what they want. If a corporal is told to stand by a door by a major, a lieutenant ordering him to not stand by the door won't be able to get them to do so.

[@justin2308]

WALN Zell Man, combined with everything else I’ve heard from jumping chain of command and all that junk, that’s easily the most understandable thing I’ve heard about the military.

[@acceptablecasualty5319]

Isn't giving orders restricted to NCOs? I'm sure Zach asked them very nicely, while emphasizing what they could use their broke ass guns for if he didn't get their help.

[@windowstaskmanager5349]

@@acceptablecasualty5319 From my experience in my county's army, it kinda works in a very weird way. Since Zach was working in the armory, I'll assume that he was part of the HQ staff of his company. As permstaff, one of the perks is that you get to talk to sergeants casually, so I wouldn't put it past him to just round up a few sergeants and ask for some extra hands from the men. I mean, I used to do that all the time whenever I needed extra hands. Usually, this sorta stuff aint exactly hard, but you don't really get your hands dirty by pulling rank, since as an enlistee, ranks under Corporal don't really matter so much, and enlistees usually stick together

[@JoshJenrayAK47]

“Sometimes Anger Management just meant Naptime” That actually sounds wonderful. I would need that to deal with this stupidity, because Oh. My. GOD.

[@acetrigger1337]

"the Military isn't bad, it just has alot of bad people in it." - Ex-Military.

[@jasona1000]

I just love that people from very different levels in a strict hierarchy can come together and offer moral support in the face of mass incompetence from every level of the same hierarchy.

[@bl00dix82]

Zach i Know what you mean. was in the Army until last year Part of a mechanized company aka a Tank company. I was one of the mechanics and had to fix all the Tanks and APC. Was fun but Stress and ALL the Crews we're Just a bunch of idiots, Like i Tell them to not lay down the shells on top of the breach so that it wont bend and make loading the damn gun harder as it already was. They didnt listen and after every Training Run or whatever they did i had to repair or replace about 7 breaches. While they would cry about the breach Not working the right way so one day i Just grabed one of the loaders pulled him Into the tank and screamed at him to not rest shells on the breach Like a fucking idiot. The whole Garage Heard me and so did a Major.i got screamed at. But all the tank Crews got screamed at too because the Major knew that our Tanks, the Leopard, was a unreliable piece of Trash.

[@ashtonfields3201]

Bl00dix oh your Canadian ?

[@morbidhawk2352]

Dear God I wanted to join the army idk now

[@Krieg3904]

@Revolvin Goatt nice job, Mr. Perfection

[@hisholiness4537]

@@morbidhawk2352 Don't.

[@pepealasquid6005]

His Dudeness Donut*

[@trenchcoatbandit]

HE WILL RUE THE DAY HE TOOK THOSE CABNETS! RUE I TELL YOU

[@dragonsword7370]

When that knucklehead chief that absconded with the pretty cabinets he was surprised a locker with gaping hole in the metal was left in his office later that week 😳!

[@calebkummer9337]

.223 likes, nice 👌

[@danieljames1868]

"Okay, good, now breathe, now _breaaathe..._ "

[@Sleptanimations]

CURSE YOU CHEEEIFFF I HEREBY VOW YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY. BEHOLD A TRUE SQUAD LEADER AND I... ZACH YOUR FEARS MADE FLESH. HIGHER OF RANK YOU MAY BE FOWL NCO BUT I WILL RIDDLE WITH COMPLAINTS YOUR ROTTEN HIDE. WITH A HAIL OF SWEARS. WITH EVERY LAST DROP OF MY BEING!

[@Quartzkensai]

The whole cabinet bit gave me flashbacks of my work. We get all the spare parts for our fleet tools, get told by corporate to get rid of all of the spare parts. We comply and half of our fleet goes down with part 4-6 weeks out. Get yelled at for not getting the fleet fixed.

[@bthsr7113]

GEE! It's almost like there's a difference between spare parts and extra parts! Maybe having backups is a good idea!

[@dustinbrothers2235]

This. I just want an hour of this. Not a compilation of all of the other vids to this point these campfire stories just make my day every time

[@MrDiabetusFetus]

I vote podcast

[@lucashall8761]

Honest to god I stopped watching the playthrough a long time ago. I've been watching, and REWATCHING, the stories for weeks.

[@Lakita2880]

@@MrDiabetusFetus IVE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR LITTERAL YEARS

[@thefiend333]

I'd pay ACTUAL MONEY to just listen to Zach's worst experiences in the Military

[@kyleh3615]

I would pay money to hear specialist Zach podcast style stories With other veterans as guests Because military incompetence makes the best stories

[@parkergroseclose6956]

I want a sitcom about Zach's time at Fort Polk. Need to workshop the tittle

[@pbsixgun6]

Fort Polka Party.

[@crimsondynamo615]

Peter B. I fucking spit my drink because that was such a hilarious title

[@AceOfBlackjack]

Folk Polk Blues

[@AWACS_Snowblind]

@@AceOfBlackjack Less funny, yet more class. I like it.

[@axelkusanagi4139]

Highthpeed

[@chrisb5005]

God... I feel so sorry for Zach. I really do. I can't imagine what it must've been like to go through so much effort, be so unappreciated, only to get fucked by upper management and have to do it all again. Part of me wishes Zach had just put his foot down and refused to do anything until his situation improved, because maybe that would've made the company actually open its eyes and pull its own weight.

[@John-uw2je]

Sadly from what stories I hear the military has these problems everywhere. And given their stubbornness, it wouldn't change.

[@BakilAskamrim]

Actually no it would have made it worse. He would have probably had is pay reduced and been forced to give up any leave he earned.

[@chuckfinley4258]

Because the higher ups like to have a dog and pony show to brag at other higher ups. It’s worse when I was in the Air Wing for the Marines.

[@alamp7640]

That's not how the military works at all

[@justin2308]

It absolutely would NOT have.

[@Charles-of2vz]

I understand Zachs anger , I was getting irritated by the mere idea of what happened with the cabinets and the guy with a lisp

[@germanbiscuit6089]

E-3 Zach: Gets new cabinets that make his job 10000000x easier Chief: ,,ith for me?´´

[@MLGLionKnight]

I hate how hard I laughed at this

[@ryanjohnstone9097]

I love the mental image of you all in a circle, the Os and Ws describing their problems, the E4 getting a call then snapping their phone in half without a word

[@korvincarry3268]

You know, im probably not the only one here, but "the all guardsmen party" stories from that 40k rpg player seemed far fetched. How could a major power and empire be so incompetent? Then i listen to these guys and go "ooohhh, thats way more realistic than i thought!" Man am i glad i didnt join the military like i wanted to.

[@Senthain]

The GM had to have been in the military at some point. I refuse to believe otherwise.

[@VRichardsn]

_How could a major power and empire be so incompetent?_ I used to think that way about big companies. I was like "ah, this company makes a ton of money. I bet everything there is super efficient!". Then I started working in one.

[@MrSingularity44]

@@VRichardsn I feel your pain bro.

[@hi14993]

there is nothing wrong with joining the military. you get to learn all kinds of things and travel to places you probably would never have had the chance to otherwise. its just like any other job though-a whole lot of bullshit. I don't regret joining the military in any capacity(I learned a hell of a lot and matured pretty quick) but I also couldn't get out fast enough.

[@feIIas]

It’s terrifying to know that somehow, 40k years in the future, the Astra Militarum is barely more incompetent than our current military, and they’re facing enemies more terrifying than anything we have today

[@martind5653]

I think that "Incompetence of Fort Polk support group" sounds like best outcome that could ever happen.

[@Hagunemnon]

Zach deserves his own friggin' Sabaton song, god damn.

[@Eric-vs2he]

"The One Man Army"

[@thatoneguy6466]

@maXim beEfus started out as a specialist soon promoted well deserved changed his rank to E4

[@ElGarca]

@@thatoneguy6466 With the sargeants on his neck, the U.S. army wants him stressed, repair armsmen number one.

[@thatoneguy6466]

@@ElGarca cross of Katrina addicted to the war game never ending flame cabinets reclaimed

[@themerchantinblack6157]

@@thatoneguy6466 oh we remember oh we remember we remember!

[@atpyro7920]

Snapping the phone in half sounds exactly like what my response would be to that.

[@brianzhang349]

I would have ranted for an hour first

[@RebelFNOS]

Imagine the response of the soldier on the other end who just had the call cut out on him

[@DragonHuntress404]

Reminds me of my time as an automotive parts interpreter. Every part has its place, mess with my organisation or the parts placement I will skin you with the air box clamp of a 2012 Holden Commodore Ute. Oh, and don’t get me started on how people judged me for having a high knowledge stat in vehicles, not like I studied for 3 years to become a mechanic only to be rejected for being a female then transferring my skills into parts interpreting whilst still staying on top of my car and truck knowledge.

[@daydodog]

I'd never heard of a parts interpreter before

[@DragonHuntress404]

@@daydodog We are the ones that give the parts to the mechanics. We talk with major car manufacturers to ensure we always have parts for their vehicles. Recently it was a parts guy that suggested to Nissan to reproduce the R32 to R34 body parts to ensure only quality products go on those beauties

[@notyetdeleted6319]

The more of these stories I hear the more the military sounds like daycare with guns.

[@wepntech]

Daycare with guns, untrained babysitters, and lunatics.

[@justmax5943]

Zach made me google Fort Polk and... their motto is "the home of heros" its fucking.. idk what it is but its wrong, from what Zach told it should be the home of incompetence

[@Brainwave101]

More like "The home of a hero" Singular, because Zach is a hero for managing to survive through that hellscape and not murdering every incompetent pissant in that place.

[@slimdiddyd]

The home of high-thpeed

[@drunkencowboi7934]

I’m so happy my tax dollars went to something a real soldier called, “naptime” I’m proud to be an American

[@plantainsame2049]

I mean yeah better than having all of our soldiers be driven crazy by incompetent leaders at least there's some way to stop it

[@Jesus_Offical]

Something else you can be proud of Is that you're tax dollars go to stolen closets

[@ImDaRealBoi]

Normalize naptime for the everyday person, we like physical rest and drifting into unconsciousness

[@gabrielvieira9578]

Cass was silently studying her new travelling companions and realizing how f*cked up they are

[@guardianvoidwalker2153]

Clicked so fast didn't even read the title just fallout new vegas. Fastest 40mm in the mojave

[@couriersix4252]

40 mike mike

[@FireheartIndustries]

Zach, I know you said you don't like Cadence, but I feel like this verse of "I don't want no more of Army Life" that I just made up after watching this, might strike a chord with you. I'm stuck here in the army I fix guns all the time Chief "high-speed" stole my cabinets I wanna break his spine I don't want no more of Army life Gee ma, I wanna go home!

[@jacksonthompson7099]

That is good asf lol

[@theregalproletariat]

I love that, that's properly funny.

[@Grzelopak]

oh zach. how i emphasize with you. I have my own anger managment issues. I can sum them up as: "i cannot stand idiots in any capacity"

[@pugking1233]

Same

[@nymalous3428]

Boy, "Chief" sounds like a huge jerk. Why didn't he just order his own cabinets? He would have been spared the effort of having to empty Zach's cabinets. Also, if those cabinets' drawers are too small for Humvee parts, I imagine that the next week a whole bunch of cabinets were sitting outside in the garbage. What a jerk.

[@MiishaKorvian]

Welcome to entitled officers and other NCO types in the US Military.

[@Trazyn_the_Infinite_40K]

Higher-ups: "my needs are more important and pressing than yours. *yoink*."

[@Aurilion44]

Funnily, that's exactly what happened, but instead of in a garbage, they were sitting at a shooting range used as target practice...

[@justin2308]

@@Aurilion44Oh, that’s lovely (not). I’m not gonna lie, seeing that would’ve made me pull out my hair.

[@penginlord9396]

I promise you, those cabinets sat in the garage empty for years, cause no parts fit in them and no one had any reason to use them.

[@Shadows1632]

There are NO good stories that come out of Fort Polk. I am so glad I discovered this channel

[@HereticalKitsune]

Incompetence, yeah... Always fun... I was also E3, or something like that rank, in the Bundeswehr. And just like Zach I did so good I ended up more often than not in command of the other privates in my unit, including those with longer service time and higher ranks. Fun! Thankfully I got transferred to a different sub unit where I could do pretty much all I want, including working for the bigger unit if I felt like it and my CO wanted to let me go.

[@ahnthedrunk2983]

This story about the cabinets seems so damn unreasonable that you'd THINK its from a game like West of Loathing. And if you don't know West of Loathing? I HIGHLY recommend it to you Zach. There is a *certain fort* needing help with its idiots there,too-

[@Joaosantos22114]

Zach is the embodyment of pain of logistical services.

[@itsdantaylor]

You know, we allocate so much money to our armed forced every year in the US and while I've never supported the idea that it NEEDS that much money that should be sent to other things like infrastructure or education, I at least deluded myself into thinking "Well at least the Military is using it to be the most advanced/competent military force in the world" But man did Zach and all his stories just shatter that flimsy illusion in my head. Our nuclear missiles are still operated by floppy disks and our soldiers are told to "figure it out" in handling requisitions and bureaucracy.

[@jacob8633]

The biggest problem, with the military budget, is that SO much of it goes to upkeep of really big, expensive things. Like aircraft, or carriers and subs. Or tanks. Oh, and pay. Huge part of it. Its also the single largest bureaucracy in the country. Its part of why you saw so many aircraft crashes in the news during budget cuts a few years back. For the Army and Marines, especially in Infantry or support units, where they have less big, expensive things to maintain, and so they get less money. And then they are told to make do and figure it out. The NCOs and officers who want to and can make positive changes, are fighting constantly against that bureaucracy, often spending similar if not more personal time and money as Zach did. This causes similar levels of burnout to Zach's. Which causes most of the good ones to either get out, or go into SOCOM (or a similar small sub-component) where they don't have the same problems. This then leaves all the mediocre leaders who can successfully navigate the bureaucracy, but don't want to change it or aren't skilled enough to. Thus the cycle perpetually continues.

[@allstarwoo4]

Bloated budget aside, it’s not an uncommon practice to use out dated or impractical practices as an deterrent. “You want to use this high value or dangerous object, good luck figuring out how to use it.” Certain government computers use an old specific computer language because it’s hard to upgrade the system all at once. Ironically because of that the programmers are irreplaceable. And similarly I heard of a guy who got pulled out of retirement with better pay, because no one could replace him.

[@theminuteman7611]

Actually the floppy disk nukes thing is more understandable than you think. It basically makes all nukes hack proof. You need to physically launch the things so it’s nigh impossible to accidentally launch a nuke or get hacked.

[@nicomoron001]

this is what they are using that budget for kzbin.info/www/bejne/l4m0Y5-FaM6YeKM&ab_channel=66NOVA66

[@fragfox0430]

@@allstarwoo4 i fuel planes for the military, im driving a truck made in 1989 to fuel a plane made in 1991 and if i give the maintenance guys any guff they refuse to fix it cause the truck hasnt had any spare parts made for the better part of two decades

[@astrocookie9062]

Commanding officer: *steels all his cabinet's* Zack: "that wasn't very high speed of you"

[@bigbootymcscooty5057]

I would've just "accidentally" smash the cabinets or remove and handful of screws or parts from it so they would eventually fall apart if taken

[@EvelynNdenial]

I would have told the cheif he could go ahead and take them next week once I'd emptied them then welded all the drawers so they still worked but could no longer be taken out, meaning they wouldn't be able to get them out of the building

[@CErra310]

@@EvelynNdenial that would've just ended in zach being ordered to get them elsewhere on his own since he figured out how to get them in there in the first place

[@SpaceMissile]

i'm currently at 7:17 - I'm a technical communicator by trade and your organization at this part made me so happy that i instinctually clicked the thumbs up. can't wait to see how this all goes to hell! :)

[@thegreatchickenoverlord5976]

The main thing I learn from these videos is that the military is way too bloated

[@JohnDobak]

But very efficient with weapons repairmen. 0 fat in that budget.

[@hwhaht]

@@JohnDobak das kewl High Theed

[@TheArkTheArkTheArk]

The US military is somehow massively overfunded and also a complete clusterfuck. It’s kind of incredible. We got planes so expensive you could build a small town with their budget, and at the same time soldiers complaining because they don’t have any batteries for their ENVGs.

[@hwhaht]

@@TheArkTheArkTheArk Well Fort Polk is notoriously the worst fort of the entire military

[@noisemarine561]

So it's basically suffering the same issue government has where it's overcomplicated.

[@KnyghtTeddy]

I swear to god I haven't laughed harder than when I heard him say "Anger management sometimes meant nap time."

[@dr.bright6272]

Zach walks into his civilian work one day. Hey High-Thpeed I need some parts.

[@CErra310]

partth

[@fish_and-chips]

“This guy can field strip and reload an M240 faster than I can recognise one. I’m gonna piss him off”

[@Swiggity_Swooty436]

I was stationed at Fort Polk, 10th Mountain. Can confirm incompetence levels.

[@bulldozer6781]

Jesus, the fact that he didn't straight up kill that guy is astounding.

[@datmanydocris]

Never served but I have a decent amount of experience dealing with the broken stupidity that is government bureaucracy and I can only imagine the military is even worse.

[@Robbie_03]

8:26 damm that changed fast

[@candyfranklin1172]

I can image zach just chucking that metal peice into the cabinet and hearing the thonk of the thing goting through

[@Alexalas1]

Fort Polk is literally an hour and a half from where I live this hits so close to home :P

[@IamEpsilon27]

it's an hour and a half away from everything lmao.

[@GallerySpecter]

From all the stories of outright hostility and borderline-treasonous levels of incompetence at Fort Polk, I’m surprised it doesn’t have a constant string of mutinies and/or mass fraggings.

[@gamingkin4278]

Ah yes, Ft. Polk, the toilet of Louisiana.

[@welkingunther5417]

Toilet seems generous

[@30cal23]

you mean hell? i heard about that fort from family members in the army, they said they never got to go (2 of them) but would prefer to be deployed for 6 months rather than stay at fort polk 6 months.

[@Killer10114]

I love the end where he's like "Sometimes anger management just meant naptime."

[@funcounting]

Chief my cabinets are too strong for you, you can't have the cabinets.

[@nicomoron001]

Chief my cabinets are too small for humvee parts, you better go to a seller that sells humvee cabinets! highzpeed! you are a razcal! you have no rezpect for the armeeh! no rezpect for anything but your cabinetz! why respect the army? when my cabinets can do anything they can...

[@thehoodedteddy1335]

I love the implication that Bravo has all it’s shit together while Zach is stuck in his unit on the outside looking in, like wishing “why couldn’t I have been assigned over there”

[@markqueasy4951]

For some reason this just reminds me of grif and Simmons from rvb having a conversation

[@IamEpsilon27]

same energy haha

[@MaverickThePython]

This would be wonderful dialogue for some enclave soldiers

[@ACompletelyRealHuman]

This video was my introduction to Zack and Mike. Holy Hell, I thank the KZbin gods for shoving this in my recommendations

[@s981318]

"Supporting at Fort Polk almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter."

[@thesebplaysgames2345]

This story is the reason I greatly respect logistics because they bust their ass off for everyone and all combat units sometimes just take it for granted not realizing the respect these guys deserve for running entire armies

[@shortlived4303]

I can imagine the story in like an SFM, Zach being an engineer, Mike as a...scout, I guess and chief as a soldier (everyone with berets the entire "flashback" portion of the story).

[@gravibreaker99]

Wait, why didn't the Chief just order his own cabinets? Wouldn't someone of that rank know to follow rules and NOT steal from the people you're working with? Or am I just dumb?

[@Mamorufumio]

it think it's more the case he didn't want to wait for them and so he took them because to him they were right there being used by an E-3/4 who just chewed him out.

[@Fourrr4]

Every day I wake up thinking “I hate my job. I don’t want to be here. Everyone’s an idiot. I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get vacations. I’m going to quit and join the army.” And then I watch your videos and think it could be worse

[@greyman7605]

The moment I realized Zach could do whatever was the mini cannon story

[@earltesticuclees167]

It’s been sooo long since I’ve heard someone use avarice, let alone in proper context. Bravo, special-lips.

[@fordchannell2248]

hey mike and zach i just wanted to say thank yall for yalls service and this is my favorite series on youtube. and mike, semper fi. im actually joining the marines in a few months hopefully as a small arms repairman. any advice for someone joining the corps?

[@philipfisher3263]

ford channell Might want to ask on their subreddit

[@milk1472]

Any advice for someone joining? Don't. Saved you 4-30 years of bullshit

[@fordchannell2248]

Philip Fisher i aint got a fuckin reddit. its not an important ask i just like to ask every marine i meet for any advice. everyone says somethin different

[@fordchannell2248]

Brent Hannon ive wanted to be a United States Marine since i was 8 so theres no fuckin chance i aint joinin

[@milk1472]

@@fordchannell2248 there are plenty of better options, my guy

[@miguelhenriquecosta]

Man. Zach's an incredible storyteller and Mike's the best listener I have ever seen. These two are great!

[@devinpetersen2387]

I love the "you can't be angry in the military" thing.

[@hunterspeight3069]

"I understand" lmao have watched this hundreds of times and that is always the best part!

[@brendenbradach]

I keep coming back to this story it is so good. I almost wish we could have a movie of Zach's time in the military as a tragedy of life in the service.

[@Charlie_the_Chair]

**snap** "that's why i'm here." will always conjure up the best possible image of Zach snapping a phone in half

[@ulyssesgrant87]

Still a career Infantry Corporal in the Canadian Armed Forces, still getting put into company and battalion admin positions (CQ, Tpt Sgt, Battalion POL Section Commander) as if I were a Sergeant or Warrant officer. I can relate to 99.99% of this.

[@pieceofschmidtgamer]

This story is easily the best of Zach's military stories... A Certified Hood Classic as it were.

[@Bearbrawl141]

God, the stories of US Army incompetence are great. Love to share some from my time with NATO. I worked civilian side doing operational level classes.

[@israelsanchez805]

I'm pretty sure that that reaction to that cwo was super justified lol. I'm a corpsman right now and haven't seen such incompetence just yet (thank god) but when I do I will gladly share my story 😂😂😂

[@catachandevilfang]

“Organizing gun parts cabinets almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter......”

[@Rageing7]

I love these stories so much. It just reminds me that I wasn't the only one to think "wow this whole military thing is kind of shit now that the novelty has worn off" then I proceeded to shoot stuff and get shot at. fun times

[@tezlaactual6582]

Ahh reminds me of the time when I had to chew someone out when I worked as an elementary school custodian because someone decided that it was a good idea to store the paint and gasoline in one of the transformer rooms

[@JnEricsonx]

Fucking hell.

[@ManWithAMask_]

I just love hearing zack and mike's stories. I need more!

[@Taveren]

"incompetence at fort Polk support group" that's good

[@krieggfn3896]

I can't keep a straight face knowing there's a staff sergeant who is probably like "Yay! Nap time!" Whenever it's time for their anger management meeting.

[@alliknowisthatimustkill9964]

Oh my God, this is great. I love these stories that they tell. They make me want to join the military so I can deal with bullshit, then have stories like that to tell. Hell, I might go into small arms repair, cause that seems kinda cool in my opinion since I grew up around guns and have had to replace parts for some of them. And I might be the only one who doesn't know this or not, I'm not sure cause it's been a while since I last watched their videos, but were they actually in the military?

[@DiceKnight]

Yes. Zach (the narrator of this glorious story) was in the army and Mike was in the marines.

[@chadgeary2653]

I think there isnt a person on the planet that has encountered an immeasurable amount of incompetence and not almost had a mental breakdown like that. Good on you for not immediately mercing that dude.

[@kekula69]

i'm guessing that warrant officer got his ass majorly chewed out for taking those cabinets and for trying to get you kicked out, and probably got one or two years without pay

[@derrickbonsell]

No, probably not.

[@kekula69]

@@derrickbonsell you're probably right

[@thepoglin8479]

this is one of the best stories ive ever heard and its about some dude in the army protecting his cabinets

[@JnEricsonx]

Considering he had all his gun parts organized to a T-I'd want that shit as easy to get and use as possible.

[@Morae88]

I think Zach is my spirit animal! These are amazing!

[@shtembyduelsson]

I just looked at Google Maps, Fort Polk has 2 Pizza Hutts (one north, one south), but only had one armorer at that time!