Angry Narcissists Are Master Whiners

It's no secret that narcissists have anger issues that can be ugly and punitive. But Dr. Les Carter exposes how their anger is tied to whiny complaints befitting a confused child. They are illustrating how incapable they feel when required to maneuver through adult highs and lows. Your task is to see their anger for what it is...a desperate attempt to make you responsible for their immature ineptitude.
📣 Dr. Carter's new course, Anger Games, is now available! 📣
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his KZbin channel, his videos have received more than 120 million views.
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Ready, Set, Connect: Strengthen relationship skills; live authentically survivingnarci...
Dr. Carter's personal website: drlescarter.com/
Dr. Carter's other KZbin channel: / drlescarter
Bookstore: survivingnarci...

[@Ocean1688]

Narcs always say, “It’s only YOU that I’m like this with, you’re so hard to be around”. Ugh, they blame their victims for their own nasty behavior…. But really they are saying, How dare you call me out on my BS! They hate our strength and truth.

[@everett552]

YES, YES & YES YES!!! 👏👏👏🙌🙌

[@StalkedHuman]

Have you seen people use that phrase to more than one person??

[@Ocean1688]

@@StalkedHuman Yes, in my experience of the narc in my life (family member), this phrase is used to only a few of us who call her out on lies and her snarky comments.

[@StalkedHuman]

@@Ocean1688 I've heard the phrase many many times, these people are using social methodologies and it's most people doing this NPC behavior

[@howdydocowgirlcowgirl181]

Or: "Nobody else talks to me like that!" After we call their bluff(s). 🫠

[@brucefriedman1]

Narcissists have to be the center of attention no matter what, and they will use every tool in their emotional toolbox in order to accomplish this goal.

[@thecustodian1023]

The primary one in my old life would often complain about why the neighbor's fences looked better than his. The utter lack of general awareness some days was nuts. 😋

[@CinzaChumbo]

Every tool but the one which would actually help them... insight.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Narcisists keep complaining, complaining and then complain some more. It’s boring and tiring to be around them even for a short while.

[@sthomas4634]

Yes, it’s exhausting!

[@CinzaChumbo]

Tell me about it 😥

[@andrewterry8092]

Ironically, they love to complain about other people complaining, and cannot grasp the irony of their behavior, no matter how it is illustrated to them.

[@CinzaChumbo]

@@andrewterry8092 Please do tell me about it 😭😥 (Know it too well.)

[@ClickTrain]

A favorite whine of my narcissist: "You're not very forgiving if you don't keep forgiving me." "Well, if you would stop treating me poorly, I wouldn't 'need' to keep forgiving you." "That's not very nice. You're not very forgiving." Yeah, not doing this anymore.

[@Real_Perplexity]

Exactly!

[@aaronkwolfe]

Forgiveness is a “you” centered thing. When you see the need to forgive, you’ll work up the ability. When someone demands it, it is never genuine.

[@roxymovie3938]

When you are not able to take any responsibility for yourself, you will constantly get frustrated with the consequence finding yourself moaning about everything and the result that you won't grow.

[@lishmahlishmah]

Hey Roxy, nice to see you. Off topic for fun (I need some fun). A few months ago youtube algorythm showed me a very funny youtuber, liam carps, his name is the name of the channel too. He is an English young man who married a German young woman. And... He invented the "viral" expression "in Germany we don't say; in Germany we say..." . In his videos he plays two roles, the English boy and the German boy interacting. Basically he jokes with stereotypes. I watch his videos, now and then, and I think you may appreciate them too ☺️ because .. "in Germany we don't say..." 😅 Btw, the German boy always wears the famous sandals 👣

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Indeed! ❤

[@howdydocowgirlcowgirl181]

& the little things (including wonky inanimate objects, etc.) set them off. They, also, seem to strew "eggshells" all over the place (for us to walk upon)

[@carefulcarpenter]

Projection, fault-finding, dark energy.

[@roxymovie3938]

@@lishmahlishmah Hej Lishmah, thank you for your "sign of life". I am glad that you get some fun out of such yt-channels like you mentioned and thank you that you were thinking about me 😁 Hope you are doing well in Italy on your German sandals and finding more joyful moments. Sending you many regards to Italy 🕊💖

[@duromusabc]

The vulnerable covert narcissist is the ultimate whiner

[@Chrystal-nt2wc]

...yet the ultimate perpetrator 🤔.😆!...

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

You get it....with an extra dose of passive aggressiveness.

[@Hatbox948]

My nex whined to neighbors, friends, etc. He was always the victim, and he always got support from his "people". There was one elderly man who lived across from us and with whom I had a friendly acquaintance. We'd talk occasionally about mowing, etc. I never said anything about the nex. Then one day when I saw him walking his dog I said hello and he just sneered at me. Later I drove into the driveway one morning and the nex had the garage door open and was talking to that neighbor. I said "good morning" as I passed by them and the neighbor just kind of went "hmmmpphh". Wow. I knew the nex had cast me in a bad light even though I'd done nothing wrong. It still stings to think about how hateful narcissists can be, and they're very good at convincing others that it's you.

[@aaronkwolfe]

I have found that those who would believe unfounded criticisms without question were NOT the people I'd want in my friend circle anyway. Then they end up missing out on the benefits of friendship with me. Oh, well.

[@MadManInMyVisions]

Went through the same horrible experience with a female covert narc in an HOA community. In the blink of an eye it was torches and pitchforks over night. I ended up moving. She had moved 22 times before settling down in the community and casting her spells.

[@sturobertson6791]

​@aaronkwolfe Hi Aaron. There is profound and helpful wisdom in your comment. It has implications for understanding the essence of truth Understanding and acting on this could help everyone grow All the best🙏

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Wow. Unbelievable. I mean him. They way they twist things! I hope you're healing 🙏 💕🫂

[@Hatbox948]

@@amandaliverpool3374 With friends like narcissists you don't need enemies. I am healing, but am very sore. The asphalt burns hurt worse now than they did at first. I don't need to have any more accidents, for sure. I really appreciate your concern Amanda.

[@wissn2112]

They have constant problems and complaints. Then its onto you to provoke a argument. Then you walk away and let them be alone. Even though they need constant attention. They still dont learn to adjust their behavior.

[@TR-nv3if]

If you don't argue they get furious..

[@susanmercurio1060]

​@@TR-nv3ifI was just going to say this

[@ShambhalinGardens-n2i]

They are saying "My life is much more important then your insignificant existence."

[@carefulcarpenter]

They do a lot of projecting, and finger-pointing.

[@MadManInMyVisions]

Leave, keep your autonomy, and NEVER negotiate with terrorists.

[@PantaRhei-wz5zn]

😄 This made me chuckle... So true

[@ActiveSneakers]

The difficult people I know are the low grade ones who have connections with groups, like church and school district, who have authority throughout the community. They believe in the prosperity gospel, and they make mandatory volunteering and gratitude as their bait to lure new people. When I did not go along with them, I became a troublemaker. The codependecy is throughout in my community.

[@1stBorn538]

Now that's very interesting

[@lishmahlishmah]

Self-producers of tears on command. I don't think Hollywood has ever seen such good actors. Also because only 2 minutes later they are able to switch their face and talk to another person in the next room without any residue in their eyes or eye irritation. If I had never seen them doing that... I wouldn't believe that there could be people physically capable of such a deceit

[@PaigeSquared]

My ex husband did this every time I called the police to the house. There was one officer assigned to our area and it was always the same one that responded. Each time, I would be shaking, red faced, often still crying, very clearly upset. And my ex would be a cool cucumber, totally chilled, able to laugh and joke with the cop like they were bros. I ended up needing to go around the local district to get a PFA, he was so blatantly unable to read the situation. Not once did he even ask to speak with me without my husband glaring at me over his shoulder. It wasn't until a second officer eventually came with him, the second officer gave me a tip to go to a specific county department and that they could help me; he told me after the main cop walked out of earshot. Bless that man. That scrap of information, that he hid from the primary officer, saved my life.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

​@PaigeSquared I'm glad you got help eventually. Must have been so frustrating for you 😢

[@CharlesBukowski-m1o]

@@lishmahlishmah My mom does the classic crocodile tears even into her 80s. The smallest violin plays for her

[@kristin_NZ]

Bear in mind a large component of their bitching and moaning about other people is comprised of flat out LIES about said people.

[@samdevallance1527]

So true🙄

[@SlobArt]

Ha! This title! Love it. Once I said to a narcissist………as I greeted her, “Hi! Good morning! So how are things? What is something positive that’s going on in your life?” Still waiting for her response.

[@EdithIvhay]

I have been watching you. Dr. L for years. I swear that’s why I am doing so well. Love you

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased for you, Edith!!!

[@nancywhiston994]

❤

[@kathydecz5016]

Thank you Edith!!

[@HughJater]

You aint bullshitting. I haven't heard it in over 3 years. Such a relief.

[@daydream_believer]

Even if by some miraculous wonder we're able to 100% conform to their expectations, it still won't be enough!! 🤷‍♀😳

[@deborahrichardson3731]

You ain't kidding! Once he asked me a question, and when I answered no, he actually stomped a foot and whined and got mad. I just looked at him and laughed, lol...

[@BaraSchmidt]

As if they aren't enough of a drain on humanities energy...they add in whining, complaining, blaming...I am so unsympathetic to their tantrums. It's little more than background noise. Wait! Let's turn up the Healthy and dance it out!!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

That's what I'm trying to work on. Making the tantrums seam like background noise 👍💕

[@indigosky912]

There are so many narcissists out there. I wonder if people actually can identify non narcissists anymore?

[@Dj.D25]

Sometimes I feel the best way to find someone who isn't a narcissist is to find someone mature, intelligent, empathetic. Then again, there are a lot of narcissists who do show those signs and are putting on a show.

[@Demoiselle21]

One of the "tells" if you like, of a non narcissist, in my observation is the willingness for a person to laugh at themselves or a person who says generous things about others, that weren't prompted by a need to "look good." Plus the other things Dr C mentions of course.

[@1stBorn538]

Spotting narcs has become easier due to people's quick reactiveness versus their responsiveness, but the empaths are far, and few in between and harder to spot until you actually hear them speak on a matter especially their stance on toxic people.

[@barbpace-lamb]

Gus is saving your spot. Thanks for all your great words.

[@TheWiseMagpie1]

@@barbpace-lamb Gus is thinking outside of his blanket..🥰

[@mday3821]

I have an angry, whining, narcissistic neighbor. She whined when I got new carpet. She whined when I didn't cut my poor half dead tree down (that was nowhere near their property). Our houses are very close, unfortunately. I just ignore her when she tells me what I should or shouldn't do to my own house. Like Dr. C says, "Just keep moving at your own pace & keep to your plans."

[@yukio_saito]

Toddlers can grow out of whining. Narcissists can't. 😮

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Yes 👍

[@yukio_saito]

@@amandaliverpool3374 The same thing is true for other childish behaviors like temper tantrums. 😉

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@yukio_saito I've been on the receiving end of the good ole Ranty Tanty 🙄

[@susannakotoff7095]

yes, yet everyone else has to grow up but them and get over it

[@thecustodian1023]

narcissists are just toddlers with adult bodies and resources.

[@Victoria-c4n]

To the narcissist: Perpetual Pity Parties are not my cup of tea; you go enjoy yourself.

[@Chanelle247]

Ugh, my ex husband was a chronic complainer and all of the above. Without any emotional intelligence. It sucked the life out of me. So glad I freed myself from him a year ago.

[@mcash4063]

Sounds very familiar. Constantly complaining how miserable his life is So he told me a month ago he was taking off a week in October to file for divorce. I’m sure he’s expecting me to take off work as well. Not happening. Kudos to you I’m sure you feel like your living again

[@Chanelle247]

@@mcash4063 Oh, the weight lifted when they are out of your life is indescribable. Best of luck to you. And once you close that door, be sure to NEVER open it to them again - because they WILL try to bust it open.

[@jeankipper6954]

My narc wasband could nag and whine the leg off a chair. Miserable. And NEVER forgot an offence, even after getting his way.

[@t_nels]

Recognize it, point it out, and dismiss the behavior. Don't adopt it. This is not my upset. This past week has been such a breakthrough. Thank you Dr Carter & Team Healthy.

[@aaronkwolfe]

Rejoicing in breakthrough.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

That's great news ❤

[@sturobertson6791]

What Aaron said Teresa. Glad to read about your breakthrough

[@t_nels]

@@aaronkwolfe Yes, validation goes a long way. To have someone else speak up is probably rare, idk. I've found my wayback machine. 🙌🏼

[@t_nels]

@@sturobertson6791 Glad to see you Stu 🌹

[@amandaliverpool3374]

When they start a conversation with "I don't want to moan, BUT " 🤦‍♀️

[@douaa1934]

Thank you Dr. CARTER 🦅

[@yukio_saito]

So true. You need neither to agree nor disagree with them. Just don't care about them. 😁

[@judysangregorio2787]

Oooooh spot on! Moody, sullen, annoying….they enjoy trying your LAST NERVE! Thank you for all the good lessons Dr C. Hi to Gus!

[@lmumma1]

So basically they are toddlers.

[@93ImagineBreaker]

with the power of adults

[@amandaliverpool3374]

Only, toddlers are better behaved

[@susankeith326]

Arrested development.

[@garssympa500]

My narcissist friend and I used to eat in a restaurant every Friday evening for 20 years (we are no-contact now). Every Friday he would order the Caesar salad and return it because they had put too much dressing on the salad. After a couple of weeks of this annoying behaviour, I suggested that he order the salad with the dressing on the side. "NO! They are going to give it to me exactly as I ordered it". He didn't want a solution. He wanted to whine... and loudly... so that people around us could partake in his whining. Why? Why did I wait so long to cut if off!?!

[@StalkedHuman]

Your story 🤣🤯 is so off. Every friday for 20 years 🥗 he was not eatting a salad and ordering it and returning it. Youre whining about something that didnt happen, about soneone who is not present.

[@Dj.D25]

Did he ever tell the waiter or waitress to go easy on the dressing, which many people do?

[@sallybyrd3712]

@@StalkedHuman How do you know if it is true or not? Maybe it was You that was returning the salad.

[@garssympa500]

@@Dj.D25 oh yes. But it was a somewhat fast-food pizza joint. They just put out food as they were instructed by the owner.

[@StalkedHuman]

@@sallybyrd3712 going to the same restaurant for 20 years and experiencing that service is not in the realm of even remotely probable. Should be obvious but aggregately not. 🤯

[@BettyCrocker-v8y]

One thing that has helped me learn to deal with my anger, still looking for more help so thanks again Dr Carter, is knowing that typically behind anger is hurt. Now I try to slow my roll and reflect as to why I'm mad......one thing I'll keep working on until it comes naturally

[@rossanderson5243]

Spot on Dr C. The fixer in me was disagreeing and I lost my quietness.

[@Dj.D25]

This reminds me of a girl I used to be friends with many years ago, who I suspect is a covert narcissist. She would often complain to me about not having a boyfriend and how lonely she felt. I was often there to offer support and encouragement. Even hang out a few times. Some time later we happen to have the same class in college and it looked like we grew closer as friends. I was starting to like her as more than a friend. Then I find she has a boyfriend and I get jealous but I keep it to myself. About a month later she breaks up but then is with another boyfriend the very next week. Soon I started to notice a pattern where the men she chooses mostly last a month and she has other men on the side as backups. And she has a thing for Mexican bad boys too. I noticed she had about 8 relationships in 2 years. And I keep some distance. So when I start to focus on another girl, that friend shows some jealously and that I am not talking enough to her. Then there's drama and mind games, trying to make me feel guilty. At one point not wanting to be friends anymore without saying why, which might be caused by a message she saw the other girl post on my social media page. Eventually she didn't like something I said about one of her boyfriends. And we stop being friends. Currently she's married to a Mexican man who doesn't look like a bad boy and looks much older than her. But I wouldn't be surprised if there's all kinds of drama she's causing right now.

[@Barb-iu3el]

A narc I work with is so emotionally disregulated that I almost have compassion for her. A very guarded compassion.

[@jacquelinefroehle5868]

That's right....Mountains out of mole hills. You become their Slave....and they will not stop complaining about all your slave work. And then if other people come to visit, they pretend they are so caring and considerate of you. In truth they just switched their Mask. My daughter is like her Dad, and she called me crying "Mom, can you help me with my wedding?" Me: Sure I can. For months each week was another wedding project. Then, she let me know she expected a lot more of me....I was supposed to make her "Feel Special", and since she was not feeling Special, "don't be surprised if you are not invited to my wedding". They decide for us, that it's our Job to make them Feel "Better than" "Special and more Special", and if we can't do that for them. That means "we are not good enough for them". Being around them Feels sick. It's too much for other humans that want a peaceful honest life to endure. Thank you Dr. Carter and Gus !!

[@theresakohler-ruda1292]

Gus couldn't be cuter... lovely pup pup.

[@RuselaHaydon]

Gus is my emotional support dog. Always glad to see him snoozing on the couch, while I listen to your excellent offerings, always so enlightening and helpful. Pets to Gus, gratitude to you.

[@carolentringer8836]

self absorbed, fearful, threatened, lonely, disconnected, shameful. This chaos leads to anger. They whine in place of self reflecting. 1. Complaining 2. Peevish 3. Overwhelmed by complexity. 4. Stuck in self pity 5. Dump emotional garbage on others 6. Must be validated and affirmed 7. Looking for people to blame 8. Require favors 9. Impose impossible standards 10. Can’t compromise 11. Make small matters into complicated conundrums 12. Moody, sullen, impatient 1. Don’t agree with them. 2. Don’t disagree with them. The healthy approach is to be assertive, stick to higher priorities - DRC. I can be humble and self restrained in my response.

[@SacredMelissae]

This is such good information. I have an adult son who may be on the spectrum, but exhibits a lot of these behaviors. It is exhausting! My take is that this is a mental illness, and not a moral issue. But as the person on whom he "unloads", it is creating big issues on my mental health! Thank you for this information, which I have taken with compassion for my son's 'condition'. At the same time, I am so done.

[@caroleminke6116]

He missed certain developmental stages as in transition & separation @ age 2 or conscience development @ age 7

[@TallKulWmn1]

The stewardess says to put the mask on yourself first before assisting anyone else. I hope you take time to heal yourself first ❤️‍🩹

[@rebekahshantz569]

It seems like you would have to have twice the parenting skills compared to the average person to begin with if your child is on the spectrum. You'll have to develop a love of reading even more of 'the right' educational books.

[@JackieFerrell-f6o]

Thank-you, Dr. Carter. Whining was another issue I dealt with. I didn't understand why either. So often, I felt like I was dealing with a child and often had to say "let it go." I have learned a lot with this podcast, too.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad it was helpful!

[@lindabell2940]

Thanks, Gus, spot on , I'm with Gus, plus my community rules,

[@AlwaysStampinVideos]

A question for Team Healthy (and feel free to chime in DrC…) When the narcissist gets angry with you, do they state your name at the end me of every sentence? And do they say your name like it is a sentence? I always found this so stinkin’ funny. Obviously, not every narcissist does this but I’ve dealt with enough that I have discovered it’s pretty common. For example, if I asked any question about anything (literally does not matter what it is) and the answer is “yes.” It’s never just a plain and simple “yes.” With an angry narcissist, the answer is “YES! (NAME!)” Then of course if you ask the narcissist if they are angry, mad, upset, frustrated, or anything of the sort- regardless of how much they whine, they always claim they are NOT mad. Ok, sure. Edited for typos

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That’s the N establishing dominance!!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@AlwaysStampinVideos Hi, I hope you are well ❣️ I've experienced this very recently. I'm glad you brought this up. My ex-boyfriend used to use my name at the end of EVERY sentence ESPECIALLY when whining!!!

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@SurvivingNarcissism Thank-you Dr.C I appreciate this explanation 🙏

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@AlwaysStampinVideos I actually said at 1 point. "That's my name. Don't wear it out!"

[@MadManInMyVisions]

That’s a common behavior of psychopaths. Psychopaths will commonly repeat and use people’s names in sentences. Sam Vaknin explains a lot of this behavior.

[@SanctuaryGoodLife]

You wouldn’t even believe …

[@LiveforHim73]

His pastor said he has anger issues! Being related was no new revelation to me. Favorite phrase; “ the trouble is” I know what’s coming next. So, walk away!

[@Spootiful]

They just cannot let it go and will keep whining about it! 😮‍💨😵‍💫☹ I'm not so sure you've had a lot of hardship in your life if you have that much time left over to whine!

[@caroleminke6116]

Arrested development is a term coined to describe narcissism & that age is between 2 to 12

[@exlesoes]

I start to think it's me that is a narc because i get angry and complain. I mean, embarrassing, but i'm that person making grievances sometimes. And i do have issues in my life having to do with my psychological problems but i don't think that condones or excuses certain anger bouts and shouting and inability to stop complaining literally talking non stop

[@Dj.D25]

Sometimes I feel the same with certain issues. Except these might be for things that seem out of my control, rely on luck. Even when I am following the formula, advice of others or copying what others do, it may not come out exactly like I thought it was supposed to.

[@christineplaton3048]

The covert narcissist hides most of their emotions. You cannot have a rational discussion with them.

[@keithjohnsonYT]

“I’m not angry..you are!” - Christ and the moneychangers.👍?

[@rebekahshantz569]

Why can't they just enjoy making a happy day of things more often with what they do enjoy.

[@Rachel-mz8ko]

Mine displays such consistently bad judgement, I'm not sure he's able to successfully plan any happy event. His poor judgement is one of his significant characteristics, along with his insecurity and low self-image. Its shocking, actually.

[@robinholz7858]

A quote I hear a lot from one, "See how they do me?!"

[@ClickTrain]

Is this true, Dr. C? To the narcissist, you being understanding and compasssionate 'means' you carry the shame they want to place on you.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Yes, that's how they can think. The key is to understand that you can think quite separately from that!!

[@ClickTrain]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Dr. C, I thought I understood narcissism before, thanks in large part to your videos, books, etc., but you keep teaching me more. The depth of the harm is only now sinking in. I was missing some of the 'hidden' dynamics. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for what you do for those of us on Team Healthy.

[@jodimo]

They are master baiters

[@pdkonkol]

Life is rigged against them.

[@chriswhite6218]

I give the "Silent treatment" to idiots who interrupt me, and talk over me. Am I a narcississt or just wanting respect?

[@Ultramowing]

thats called a boundary. i wont engage with persons who talk over me or interupt is the boundary. good for you - self care starts with recognizing your own dignity.

[@duromusabc]

Whiners - oh yes !

[@ActiveSneakers]

I have an old neighbor who sold his property. He came over a few times up to the around the selling time. Last summer, he told my husband we should arrange a block party for the new owners/neighbors (at our expense). So weird. My family moved into our small home about six years ago. Most neighbors keep to themselves. My husband has met 2 men and their wives.

[@h1k0usen13]

Recently cut ties with a now former friend who possesses the EXACT traits you describe, 1:1. Got so tired of that narc and I regret not doing it earlier. He was also constantly gaslighting and manipulative towards the friend circle.

[@theresakohler-ruda1292]

In Coda for 10 years and you just described my neighbor 360° So! thank you for making it clear, what is on my side of the street, and what isn't.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

So pleased!

[@GrowwithMOKY]

Really good content!

[@hanichay1163]

“Yes I had a happy childhood but you ruined my entire life.” What?

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

I can promise you, that person would be saying the same thing if someone else was on the stage.

[@griff791]

Covert narcissists are so childish. It makes you angry because you just want them to act like an adult and grow up!

[@lisab7977]

My narc is a non stop complainer. I can’t stand it anymore. He has issues with everybody- and I can’t say anything to make him stop, cuz then he verbally attacks me. He just rips everyone- it’s embarrassing to be with him in public. Even people he calls his friends. Last year we met some of his old coworkers for lunch. He, of course, proceeded to insult the city we lived in for 22 years-a city where most of them still live. I had to speak up and let them know that I loved living there, and that I miss it since we moved away. No surprise that they haven’t invited him to lunch since then.

[@timtim8468]

Not to myself, they are not redeemable. That Prof. was right decades ago, no contact is the only way to get well again.

[@cymbolichuman433]

When I got old, I found a new zest in experiencing another part of life. He is the epitome of "grumpy old man" whining about past experiences.

[@SharonHammer-x7t]

My ex-husband’s nickname as a child was Father Whiney!!!

[@danielpahor8444]

I feel like the narcissistic people I’ve met are stuck in a life-long tantrum lol

[@hertzeauxduclaire7689]

Narcs can't see their reflection in the mirror because the reflection is inverted. "Which of the twain was the reflection, i wonder?" - Aleister Crowley It makes a lot of logical sense when you really think about it. 93/93

[@sallybyrd3712]

I have met a few of these Angry Narcissists; one was my Mother. This video is so accurate and informative. I think it is best if possible to set a boundary and to avoid angry people.

[@wissn2112]

When she can't get her way immediately... She says... This is why people are talking. ...

[@SteeleMagnolia]

Two ex husbands that are without doubt malignant narcissists (thanks, mom, for raising us kids in your own narcissistic world, and making us believe that your sickness is the norm). If it weren't for the children that we had together, I would never have to be around them, even though they're adults now. These two men are obviously miserable souls that no woman, since me, has ever stuck around for. That tells me that those women were a lot more alert to narcissism, and didn't ignore the red flags, like I did. It's became super obvious that a narcissist does in fact get worse with age, and these two men are noticably miserable, with unhealthy lifestyles that just don't seem to satisfy their lonely souls.

[@michelleharkness7549]

Thank you 🙏: again: thank you 🙏 ( USA 🇺🇸)

[@cherylnathanodette]

Ooh I love head games, don't you, nah gets tedious after some time. Thanks Dr. C for your insights. Maybe those poor narcs have been abused for so long they no longer care what others think.

[@laurelbarlow5733]

Describes my late stepfather

[@rwdchannel2901]

One thing I've noticed all my life when I was working in a group or in a class at school is the biggest whiner in the group got the most attention and got whatever it was the whiner was whining about. These whiners probably turned out to be malignant narcissists in the long run because they figured out if they were angry all the time and whined, it got them their way.

[@butterflycomb]

Your so right Dr. Les. The narc takes no responsibility blames it all on me. Everyone in the house is at risk to be supply. Accept she don't do it to my son just me and the grands it's horrible.

[@1stBorn538]

Guess I would & could also be viewed as a narcissist especially because I speak up & voice my concerns about the toxic dismissive narc behavior in my community, at the dr's office, with bad customer service, etc. The narcs will see you as the problem child because you're bold enough to call out and refuse to accept their shenanigans. It's hard to tell the difference when both are voicing their concerns

[@lauracoussens6207]

They will turn all of your dreams into nightmares...but only if you let them. Tell them that they need help and then turn around and walk away. Do not give them the opportunity to reply.

[@Gina-bt8ow]

Great videos

[@Dynamic_heart]

Hello, Doctor your conclusion is very helpful as a reminder to stand by for my integrity. Thank you

[@kenjackson5685]

1st class, thankyou.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Glad it was helpful!

[@darinsmith2458]

I hate being around whiners..

[@darrynreid4500]

I long thought that the perpetual whining is not simply about not getting whatever they want. More deeply, it seemed to me to be an outward manifestation of the chronic state of upset that's wholly internally generated, because they don't really know who they are, and the world doesn't match their distorted expectations.

[@Ratgirl2]

What is the answer to one who does all this then wants to be intimate. My good friend deals with this scenario and it literally makes her sick thinking about their self serving thought process.🤔🤔🤨

[@gingerlavigne4515]

I would tell my (soon to be) ex narcissist who whined and bitched so much I told him he complained and bitched more than any woman I know 😂 He didn't like hearing the truth.

[@thecustodian1023]

I'm 50 years old and run a successful and growing business and most days I still don't know what to do. 😋

[@asdf4678z]

You can offer solutions. You can offer a different perspective. You can offer to fix it for them it doesn't matter. They want to complain. I think the constant complaints are a way to maintain control of the conversation and the atmosphere of the relationship. They want to wallow in their own misery and to bring you down with them. YES they love to dump all of their emotional trash on others. They end up confused and upset that you can stand being around them anymore. They don't care how unpleasant they are. They expect you to take it. We have to remember that we are dealing with people who are unwell. They are infuriating but they are also sick, mentally ill. Not an excuse at all for the abuse, rather a tip to remember that their behaviors are about their illness and not about us. Tread lightly. Detach your emotions. Understand that their behaviors are irrational BUT very predictable. They follow a pattern. Prepare yourself mentally before being around them that you know how they are. Trying to get them to see reason or make sense isn't going to happen. They can't. They have an emotional handicap. Lower your expectations and greatly reduce your emotional investment. They can't rise to the occasion - ever. Protect yourself. Prioritize yourself. Let them be who they are and find happiness anyway.

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

They will whine to anyone that will listen Simple solution - stop listening

[@ushere5791]

it's so obvious to those of us with functioning critical faculties, but a significant portion of the public in a large first-world nation want *exactly this* to run their country and their lives. i don't mind if they let that person run their lives, but i sure as heck don't want that person running my life or those of my loved ones!!

[@TiegraHansen]

Smooth criminal

[@FBolton-m3w]

Not directly at me. A revealing. Oh. Don't need a mended heart. Deal with that urself.

[@moonlanding-69]

lol I'm a 'mole-trapper'. I call it gossip in the church to be in the "know".

[@deebee4622]

Always the victim

[@davekiernan1]

Sounds like my cat.

[@matthewmascarenas6307]

Personally, I don't mind if people voice there concerns, and I don't think it's a good idea to get into the idea of shutting people down as complainers or whiners until a just reason is given. I think we need to be careful that we don't shout down the voices of those who may need to have a listening ear lent to them and maybe need to have their concerns heard. I think we need to be careful because some people may be voicing legitimate complaints that are consistently passed off, not addressed, ignored etc.. and then they get labeled as whiny and are shut down. I do believe it's very possible that somebody could have a legitimate cry out for help that is not being heard that could easily be passed off as whiny. We need to be careful if we label somebody as whiny, because we could be making an unjust judgment that is actually condemning somebody for being something they are not. It seems in these types of relationships one person will be free to express all of their concerns to their heart's content while the other, if they ever even dare to voice their concerns, they'll immediately be shut down and sometimes they'll be shut down as a whiner or a complainer. My opinion, a victim of abuse like this honestly probably wants to be heard and understood as that largely what they are deprived of. There hurts their pains and their struggles are not recognized. Somebody could be crying out for a kind and loving voice to hear them versus just simply being a complainer who whines, about every little thing. In situations like this I think we always need to exercise discernments to recognize whether or not we're dealing with somebody who is genuinely starving on the side of the road, crying out for a piece of bread versus somebody who is fat eating and eating, and yet never full.

[@dianne-p2g]

I agree totally, can't lump everyone as whiners and complainers.

[@matthewmascarenas6307]

@@dianne-p2g Yeah, people are gonna have to start exercising righteous judgment. When I see videos like this, I can't help but notice what has happened in my own life, because people who actually are more likely due to be labeled as complainers and whiners shut me down with this sort of nonsense. I think in these type of situations we need to be careful that we're not helping the wicked shut down the voice of those who are already oppressed.

[@grb2017]

It's non-stop nonsense being ranted at you, hoping you will cave and do what they crave from you. Literally sends you mad

[@SageNSaavy]

Thank you for these videos, Dr. Carter. I really appreciate your expertise.Can Narcissists manifest with a mix both covert and overt traits?

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Definitely. It's very common.

[@SageNSaavy]

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you. That is helpful.