When I've Wanted To Die

[@swapnakalaparambath9334]

"you know baby, you can die anytime. but what's the rush?" that got to me. this helped for reason.

[@crtzy9626]

Swapna K those words gave me a reason not be scared of how I felt or what was about to happen

[@Bookwormxox]

Ikr

[@ochenc1071]

yeah

[@SammyCee23]

Damn this is a good one..

[@usalawlemon]

I think you're wrong, why experience years of hard life?

[@atlasthompson6736]

her content is WAY too high quality for youtube oml

[@uyennguyen5741]

But everyone deserve therapy so 😁

[@queenkys0122]

Well she is a professional writer and has a whole Crew to help her achieve and make everything look professional and further her creativity and quality

[@Bookwormxox]

Ikr

[@luthientinuviel101]

yeppppp

[@mjennifer142]

Im doing it now.

[@mj.castro1034]

Some of us don’t wanna die , some of us just wanna stop feeling the way we are feeling

[@sabeenahmad5085]

You are a beautiful person. I know life is hard but never forget that you are never alone :) ❤

[@discontinued853]

if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u

[@jeni3386]

Raindrop Mya sometimes getting help doesn’t help everyone

[@discontinued853]

김제니 im very sorry, please read some of my advice. Please View these helpful Videos/Channels/Websites Channels I recommend: Physc2Go, Prince EA Websites: Myjournaldepression.com etc, Videos: Suicidal? This is for you. Applications: Ada Help, Texting Therapy, Online therapy. Im really sorry. I hope you recover. I feel you, Please dont think its the end of you. Ive felt that. And in the future, i realized that i could do it. Dont believe the thoughts in your head, dont know how to solve it? Try to ignore it or find help. Its your only choices

[@willowt7319]

Bingo

[@michelletran2637]

“I don’t want to die but I sometimes wish I’ve never been born at all” - Freddie Mercury

[@jessicascott4505]

Me too

[@soccerlegend9780]

@@jessicascott4505 why don’t you want to be born? You are beautiful!! 😇

[@Unknown-mt7nj]

Same

[@KatrinaDancer]

Yeah why don't pro-life people ever realize not everyone is grateful to be born.

[@Jellostyle]

I feel you. I certainly regret being born with this illness, schizophrenia.

[@ratcasserole2163]

“You don’t have to light yourself on fire to keep others warm”

[@pekopekoyama4945]

But I do for the ones I care about.

[@skylovermc2146]

Poody hood I do that a lot and I can’t stop... 😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞

[@yeehawjigsaw6579]

@@pekopekoyama4945 That's not being a friend to yourself.

[@lumine_traveller]

Did that a lot.

[@wk8219]

Good saying 😊

[@tabithabilow9589]

“Sometimes being alive is an act of courage”

[@SkyeMpuremagic]

...or cowardice... just depends

[@nicolealexandra1392]

"have the courage to exist" :)

[@diyachheda4936]

Agreed

[@isaacjohnpaul1301]

@@nicolealexandra1392 exciting is not living

[@Malazkafi]

It is brave to live and face what ever happens to you.. you dont have the right to take a way the a life your God gave you.. you dont own it only all mighty Allah own it and only him can take it when ever it is the time ment

[@janinave7729]

"you have small feet" Her "what?" Me what?

[@ellylyn993]

Janina Ve I think that it was meant to mean her body isn’t “perfect” or an excuse to just break up

[@abinothayyilsanoj4182]

What

[@brysonwashington7227]

@@abinothayyilsanoj4182 Her feet were hecka smallin man

[@abinothayyilsanoj4182]

@@brysonwashington7227 I know . I just typed "what "

[@nevertrulyyours]

Right, I was like, Wtf bro?! What's wrong with small feet, ugh!

[@avesaryanna2865]

i don’t want to die, i just want to enjoy living.

[@1nsertusername]

Yes, please do. Life is so beautiful. Try to appreciate the little things in life, be grateful for even the tiniest good thing you have, just admire all those things and see how much you're missing out on. I'm speaking from experience. I'm so glad I stayed because things have gotten a LOT better!

[@cookie-sn5ex]

You can!

[@ungzheenedd2273]

Same... I don't want to die but i really see no point. My life is filled with pleasing others and always putting myself 2nd. I try to do or find what my purpose could be but i feel so useless and worthless all the time. And i hate that i feel this way, for not appreciating my life. Others had it worst and i don't deserve to complain. Because of this i feel like i live in a limbo where its not my life not my control. Just waiting ...

[@nicoleb.496]

@@ungzheenedd2273 same tbh, I'm under so much pressure... My parents are so strict, my teachers expect a lot from me since I'm the best student in college, my friends expect me to be the happiest person in the world because I've always been like that, but in reality It's all just fake. I feel useless, my grades, my personality, the way I act, everything is NOT me. And I really hate the fact that I can't be myself because I don't want to disappoint anyone... I want to live freely, I just want to be normal, but it'll never happen. And that makes me cry every time. I hate it.

[@ungzheenedd2273]

@@nicoleb.496 hey..so sorry you have to go through that. you want to connect? My insta nedd_ung . Maybe we can chat more

[@tessaviolet]

I cried almost all the way through this. This is a masterpiece and I'm so glad it exists now.

[@KylieEileen]

Tessa Violet 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[@kyraaborkman]

Same!

[@sophiet4127]

♥️

[@samwich4331]

Same.. It's too good

[@aneeliab6487]

Deserves more views

[@snwjjsshwihdv9341]

The scene with her mom being angry... That hit me so hard.

[@yeehawjigsaw6579]

Me too.

[@rachellee2926]

Me too, a similar thing happened last week

[@whotao-tf1gw]

“Why are you depressed?! Stop being depressed!!” As if getting mad at me will help.

[@chimmieeyelish255]

because it’s so close to home

[@Thisissilly222]

That was my mom less than a hour before she stormed off somewhere.

[@loaflove5]

“What if I stayed what beautiful things could be waiting for me” God I never realized how much my heart needed that

[@denisdenak]

Or miserable things. Life doesn't always get better. The problem isn't the suicide, but the absence of the easy way out. Some people get to much of suffering and the irony is, you have to cause yourself even more pain to stop it. None of those who haven't gone through it, can truly understand it. That is why euthanasia is illegal in most countries. Most people are too self-centered and arrogant to realize that by forcing a person to live they only prolong his/her suffering.

[@anupdalei7082]

me too

[@josesoares2705]

Lucky you, I couldn't pass through it, I wish I was more patient and now I am dead :(

[@rizkylibertysiajaya1354]

@@BeautifuIBoi that is life, but there are many things that can help you feel happy, may you find it soon🙏💞 I still stuck with this thinking, but thankfully I manage to change my way of viewing things, and some things change🙌

[@aboundinggrace7029]

Jesus Loves you, don't give up.

[@makalaadams4]

"when it comes to death, why rush?" because i'm impatient.

[@melissakimbrell447]

But that’s the hellish beauty of death, you never know when it’ll happen so you won’t have to prepare for any pain

[@thelightbulb6657]

@@anonperson3197 ...im not christian but that made ME feel better :)

[@celesteross2474]

To that comment my dark humor can relate 🤷‍♀️

[@yukiseven3393]

SAME

[@joveee3718]

Just imagine, you are an adult. You just got a boyfriend/girlfriend. Three days later, your boyfriend/girlfriend tells you they want to break up with you because your feet are too smol.

[@evataylor8761]

So sAdz.

[@jaedajolee7216]

ur feet are HECKA smol

[@joveee3718]

@@jaedajolee7216 I just imagined that and wow

[@Hazelnutgg]

I WISH LOL im so insecure about my feet and I want to

[@Oo-ym1hu]

Correction: Small not smol

[@femboysandtomboysplsdmme3458]

Do u ever lay down in ur bed at night and thinking how not okay u are?

[@darkone8546]

I have spent so many nights doing that

[@kt0784]

Every night..

[@chelettewilliams6476]

Yeah

[@chaton897]

yes, e v e r y night

[@chaton897]

@BubbleTea same. I always think they would just scream at me or say thats all just fake and say things which I dont need/cant help

[@helloxina93]

Humans are the living definition of a paradox. So fragile yet so strong.

[@millennial_fairy]

KOMODO GREY ain’t that the truth!

[@lalasubliminals7339]

Greward of Rivivia Diamonds are fragile..?

[@almightyegglord4365]

You guys are real edgy

[@Kirsten4260]

Almighty Egglord Like a Diamond?

[@jams_1013]

I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to be me anymore 😣

[@twentysth]

Same. I don't want to be this person who nobody wants, not even myself.

[@violetcris2232]

Hey. I know it's been 2 months since u wrote this comment but I found it only now. Are you ok? I know how it is to hurt. I know how it is to not like yourself. I am here for you if u need me. Lots of love💜I purple you

[@jams_1013]

Violet Snake I’m doing better now, thank you for asking 💜💜💜

[@violetcris2232]

@@jams_1013 I'm very happy to hear you're doing better💜but still if you wish we can keep in touch so if you ever need someone to talk to I can be there for you💜

[@vicwrd8489]

bruh

[@PalePearl]

I got suddenly emotional cause I remember it being this way

[@shivalimohindru6668]

Hobii Army 💜

[@thatsjustmaddy4833]

Hobii same

[@2listening1]

I know, hon. Hang in there. Please stick around. All my best wishes to you always.

[@bts_5313]

Eh, i was just being dramatic like honestly im so fragile...

[@wap6802]

@@shivalimohindru6668 heyyy 💜

[@Leadley]

"you know baby you can die anytime, but what's the rush"

[@user-eu8vv6ko7y]

That sentence is so beautiful

[@miss_honk]

@@user-eu8vv6ko7y ikr

[@burntmother.]

Cool. I'll kill myself next week. 👍

[@user-eu8vv6ko7y]

@@burntmother. tf

[@halo1011998]

If you can even find comfort while you live

[@user-ik7vm1kt6q]

’’When it comes to death, why rush? We all get there sooner or later’’ I will have this on my grave, when i do die.

[@magician8024]

Exactly

[@zu-zu5940]

Why not rush it? If a person is in constant psychological pain, is it wrong for them to wish for a swift death?

[@magician8024]

@@zu-zu5940 yes it's bad because you could miss lots of special moments

[@DaHaMMeRz]

@@zu-zu5940 One's luck can change in any given day and especially with the right people

[@denisdenak]

@@DaHaMMeRz OR, it may not. Life doesn't always get better. The problem isn't the suicide, but the absence of the easy way out. Some people get to much of suffering and the irony is, you have to cause yourself even more pain to stop it. None of those who haven't gone through it, can truly understand it. That is why euthanasia is illegal in most countries. Most people are too self-centered and arrogant to realize that by forcing a person to live they only prolong his/her suffering.

[@ketlinhehe__]

Sometimes u don’t realize, a simple “hello” can change a person’s life.. a simple “have u eat yet?”.. Can save someone’s life

[@mmitchelldaviss]

i’m not crying, you’re crying this was beautiful

[@kaylenjackson6033]

Mitchell Davis I’m not crying, I’m hyperventilating

[@noahbeville3876]

I don’t know what you look like, but I can easily tell that you are too.

[@coconutsciencegirl9232]

Yup...I am crying...lmao

[@dededavis6829]

You're right i am cryinggg

[@lxcky21]

My eyes are just sweaty today...

[@kavina.9014]

Just how difficult must it have been for you to film those scenes about your sister, especially that scene in the wardrobe.. Thank you, Anna. You're changing the world

[@CupofGingerTia]

@@SnowColorss you must not understand his/ her comment

[@damnmuggle]

@@SnowColorss her sister killed herself irl

[@SnowColorss]

nataly gonzalez oh god, I didn’t knew that

[@k.5425]

She had a sister? that's so sad and depressing. It would be really hard.Man...

[@stephaniesissons9978]

When I read this comment I just say that part. 😰😘💛

[@kinjellsingh7753]

This conveys everything that a depressed person feels perfectly. Little things just make you feel awful.

[@dianar6600]

kiki 1907 Wow. I’ve been depressed this week and I’ve been asking myself why. Now I see that it IS little things.

[@lilianasanchez4540]

@@dianar6600 me to when kids are bieng asshole and I'm to scared to say something it slowly kills me. I just keep rewinding it in my head the whole day thinking of how horrible my life and the day was, I don't know how to make it go away. and my parents dont know . I make myself put a happy face on whith my family

[@yourfavoritepessimisticexi8041]

"You know, baby. You can die anytime. What's the rush?" I love that

[@olivialang5820]

i kind of like how she used the death of her pet as the beginning of the downward spiral...thats something that truly, deeply affects people and can hurt as much as losing a loved one, but it is usually not taken serious enough. people are expected to just move on and get over it, kind of like mental health problems. it seems like a metaphor

[@desteny1393]

i think that was a metaphor of when her sister died, especially beacuse she was arguing withe her the scene before

[@feelingReckless13]

​@@desteny1393 they both happened really close together, within months of each other. I read her book, "so much I want to tell you" and she talks about how both of them happening so close together played a large part in her downward spiral.

[@desteny1393]

feelingReckless13 oh i didn’t know that! Thanks for telling me now I really want to read her book❤️

[@feelingReckless13]

@@desteny1393 you're welcome! it's an amazing book, I definitely cried a lot, but I laughed a lot too. She's an amazing writer, obviously, lol.

[@olivialang5820]

feelingReckless13 i didn’t know she had a book!! thank you! :)

[@hannah_lundstrom]

You've helped someone today.

[@stopthephilosophicalzombie9017]

She's just trying to sell you BetterHelp bullshit. Who paid for the production of this? Why are there no credits? You are being hustled. Just wait. My comment will be deleted or I will be blocked for trying to tell the truth.

[@hiko9715]

Stop the Philosophical Zombies wdym bro. Credits are at the end the vid is just about Suicide Prevention or Awareness

[@offbeatkiki]

I'm glad you are still here, Anna. Thank you for changing so many lives with your words and ideas.

[@bobelliot1091]

Exactly. thank god.

[@almightyegglord4365]

Ok

[@sarawawa8984]

But maybe sometimes you’re just really, really tired. Just so miserably tired

[@jhonrames6259]

Hey sister LIFE is about WISDOM check this out kzbin.info/www/bejne/eJWqe2qpbJqAmJo

[@boroshiki4895]

I am really tired of this life 😣😣😣😭😭😭😭. I just want to die

[@hanabichan444]

I hope you are in a slight better place right now. Don't hesitate to seek out for help if needed. Therapy helped me in my depression and suicidal tendencies a lot as well. I'm still healing, and I hope someday, we all get there.

[@sarawawa8984]

@@hanabichan444 oh I’m in therapy and on medication. I even did a several week long intensive outpatient program. I think that’s part of why I’m tired. It’s just a trudge to keep trying and trying when like every part of you wants to stop

[@thequeertelope7941]

yes!

[@heyblenda]

Btw, the teacher is teaching portuguese. I could only thought to myself "why is that?", but for those of you that don't speak portuguese she kept saying "And now we are going to learn how to say 'how are you?' How are you is a great way to great other people. How are you?'. Every detail in this film is important.

[@joninacuevas6768]

Blonda I thought it was Spanish

[@DD-oo4sg]

Jonina Cuevas there are many similarities between Portuguese and Spanish. Cómo estás, in both languages, means “How are you?” But they are not the same.

[@spinno3238]

It's sad people relate. It's sad I'm one of them.

[@magician8024]

No don't be nuuuu

[@warrior7038]

You guys are so depressing, always saying how your life is bad and things blablabla, go ahead, life gets better, stop murmuring and being such a dramatic person, go and battle against the world and even yourself, in a good way of course.

[@spinno3238]

@@warrior7038 I very much agree with you. I now realize that my comment is very much dramatic. I will now stop commenting about how I relate to things on a personal level. Thank you kind stranger for opening my eyes.

[@kurimus8299]

A Pet Named Steve their response was crap. You’re allowed to have feelings and to express them.

[@warrior7038]

@@kurimus8299 That's okay to have feelings and express your emotions, but being depressed and dramatic won't help you to make your life better, I'm not criticizing anyone, just saying that to not confuse others and clarify my point here.

[@evermoreisamasterpiece]

I have a sticky note on my dashboard that says, "It’s okay…It’s just another day…Just keep fighting…You’ll be free one day…" Thank you for this, Anna.

[@discontinued853]

(If you are) if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u

[@mamienovacuisine]

I've got a sticky note too! It says it's going to be alright, believe in yourself, breath and have faith.

[@KeyAiko-]

@@mamienovacuisine I dont anymore im so done with those im so done with the smile i dont get to have

[@anisaa4664]

when will that day come? does that day really exist?

[@samanthamcguiness3081]

@@KeyAiko- I hope you are still doing well and if you are not i hope you like this....🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@purplepotato_2687]

"But what if I stayed?" "What beautiful things could be waiting for me?" This two lines are enough to make me cry and make me at least try to live.

[@Julia-sp2kt]

Please keep living. You have so many beautiful things waiting for you!

[@purplepotato_2687]

@@Julia-sp2kt Thanks 💜

[@brassy9425]

Imagine being able to believe that's true, I don't have hope as it only gets me hurt, I'm not special or important to anyone, the one person in the world who I truly love alot doesn't feel the same way. I don't want to try anymore. I want to not wake up

[@joshsmith3062]

@@brassy9425 same if the simple sentence can make you happy then news flash your problem wasn't that deep to begin with

[@lights6865]

I think about this all the time but then the next misfortune always happens to me, then one day I sit in silence for a long time with so many thoughts running around. There are none, every scenarios I think always end the same way.

[@katherosa3698]

“But you’re my person” I felt that entire scene 🤧

[@androdeiculus9712]

that reminded me of cristina yang to meredith

[@supernaturalobjectexported6695]

Its weird seing Karan as the cool kid. I'm used to see him as a nerd. He is such a great actor Wow!!! Seriously guys thanks for thanks for the likes!!! Never gotten so many!!!

[@shoba3396]

Lol his voice cracked

[@berenicegutierrez4603]

Sofia G debatable

[@twigtoyoulater]

Me too...

[@milvanahinova]

Yeah me too

[@brianazamora3468]

Right

[@iamangela86]

*I always try to make everyone happy... except myself*

[@bhavyasharma3986]

Same pain😊

[@michaelyounan8513]

*except

[@alice-lq9bp]

yeah same...

[@jazzminbreeze8914]

Kostas Kostakis exactly me

[@sofiashrimp8672]

same

[@justchillin7458]

um when the mom was yelling, it hit me so hard. The mom was speaking japanese and i could understand every single word

[@em_.hay.]

i'm half korean so in a way i can't relate but her voice still completely resonated with me and felt so real

[@erk44]

I dont speak the language but i know what its like to have your own mother disgusted disappointed and giving up on you. Shes waiting for you to be who she wants you to be and you know you never will. Its ok. Just always try to be the best version of yourself. You are good enough

[@cccyou3848]

Its amazing how Anna can have the strength to act out the fight she had with her sister before her suicide, I love you Anna and I think you are a wonderful voice for change

[@distantsolarsystems]

CccYou I can only imagine how hard it was for her to make that scene. I had chills

[@lightdarkequivalent7143]

Think about that The last words your sister heard from you are *I h a t e y o u*

[@尹向伟]

@@lightdarkequivalent7143 😭

[@magdan1439]

Wow youtube knows about my depression recomending me this

[@user-nr7yi4st9l]

Magda N KZbin knows all But you k?

[@ccchezzaa]

fr💀

[@littlekitty6358]

Sameee

[@sunflowerlies2984]

I get you

[@anjis9829]

SAME OML

[@Danielle-ne3gc]

It’s sad to see how many people relate to the title 😭

[@Convoluted-and-Exiled]

*hugs*

[@thecousinbellic]

Indeed

[@GoVocaloider]

It's nice to see that there's something on KZbin for all these people to relate to. When you find solidarity, you become even just a little bit better at fighting the hard fight. We are not alone.

[@taythsutjhx6153]

@The Gaming Giraffe 😂 true

[@willythemailboy2]

I find it hard to believe there are people who *don't* relate to the title.

[@miafine2584]

Coming back to this a few months later, I'm glad I didn't kill myself

[@naruhina6481]

im so happy your alive

[@ndsingh8755]

How are you now? And you know you are the strongest person I know cuz staying alive is the strongest and hardest decision anyone can make.

[@miafine2584]

Thankyou both ♡ ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 I'm doing much better ☆ hope you're well

[@ndsingh8755]

@@miafine2584 yess thanks

[@chenalindelossantos967]

pls continue holding on

[@Sylencer1982]

Anna, I'm glad you're sticking it out. I know I'm just kinda a faceless guy on the internet, but I'm still rooting for you. You won't be alone. And whoever reads this, I'm rooting for you, too. No matter how hard it feels, you have someone on your side. Live.

[@joan.ne.x._]

... I made it through this whole video without crying and well then i read your comment-

[@saoirselynne1776]

Nicholas Feeley OMG YOUR SLENDERMAN!?! Sorry I just had to 😂😂

[@noahbeville3876]

You are an amazing person. Thank God for people like you.

[@Spicynooodlez]

Thank you

[@lemniscatefortunecanfinall2707]

The Faceless Ones are NEVER ALONE.

[@fbi3607]

The fact so many people have the same thoughts just shows how screwed this world is.

[@almightyegglord4365]

go to the jimin park its a really pretty park The fact that your name is so long makes u tonight’s biggest loser

[@almightyegglord4365]

Because he doesn't have a editing software to make memes

[@muniranasiri4737]

armyyyy

[@mychemicalpanic5403]

This is a pretty screwed up,dark world

[@jazzdelgado9478]

ARMY bts

[@ronya8662]

I got the biggest chills. This film was incredibly well made, and I needed this so much right now. Thank you

[@laniemcclanahan6908]

It doesn't make sense.

[@emmavinisko7974]

Delaney Mcclanahan how does it not make sense?

[@laniemcclanahan6908]

@@emmavinisko7974 Because it was all over the place at the beginning. But near the end, it started to make sense.

[@EvapvtLtd]

What is movie name

[@sophi3897]

IK THIS IS SAD BUT NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE L CALENDER?????

[@jovanavel]

Ikr

[@majo8117]

PLS I WAS THINKING OF THAT

[@gen7122]

fr tho that made me happy lmao

[@skshabalova8750]

Omg yes, I was like where is you get that I need one right now :D

[@tasfiahnabani8719]

I'm sorry , what do you mean by L calendar?

[@riiacle]

I don't want to live my life anymore... But I'm scared to die

[@danorose9746]

Vyloe Rears please don’t do anything

[@fluffyres6107]

Vyloe Rears * THIS IS NOT A JOKE*:Get help

[@owlkies]

I’m 12 years old. I used to feel the same way. I got over it. It was like this a few months ago. Talk to someone. It will help. Do things that make you happy. It will help.

[@jiminbiased-288]

This is exactly what I feel.

[@fairy2259]

I feel exactly the same way

[@willowingel._1743]

Lets just be happy Ravi FINNALY got a girlfriend

[@kingdevil4428]

True it's kinda surprising lol

[@thebaecat]

LMAO WKRJRJSKJSHDHD

[@bethybon]

He's 19.. and hot, so I don't see why not XD

[@myhearteu5128]

willowing El._ Lol this is amazing

[@rxyue5616]

I thought the exact same thing

[@bobrossslonglostdaughter1607]

I remember quietly sneaking past my mom's room to the hallway, quietly tip-toeing down the basement stairs to get the smallest screwdriver I could find. Then quietly marching my way back up the stairs towards my room and locking the door. To unscrew my only pencil sharpener and removing the blade, slitting my wrists and waist and arms and thighs and repeating those steps over and over until I was satisfied that I had punished myself enough. Punished myself for being me. For being who I am. For being alive. I've wanted to die. I still want to die. But now instead of carefully taking apart that pencil sharpener, I think. I think long and hard. I think about the waves and the sound they make when they hit the sand beneath my toes. I think about the colors that strawberries are on the hot july days when all you can wear are tank tops and shorts. I think about the people who love me. I think about the concerts I havent been to. People I've never met. Places Ive never visited. And I put myself into the position of someone else, for however long it takes. Maybe my mom. Maybe my dad. Boyfriend. Uncle. Best friend. Teacher. What would it be like if I didnt live another day? What would happen if I didnt get to see that movie on Sunday? They didnt get to give me my christmas present they spent so much time and money on? Those are the things that matter. You matter. You'll be ok. I'm ok. I wasnt, but I am now. We all die, why rush it? Theres so much to experience in life. I love you. Dont forget that.

[@_aiko020]

Goddamn that was beautiful

[@filippaschytz8746]

Pls right a book

[@graciej9307]

damn, that was amazing.

[@bridgetgorrie]

thank you. that brought tears to my eyes. thank you so much.

[@sage7296]

💙

[@BunnyQueen97]

Sometimes it really does feel like you're just jumping from one "I want to die" to the next.

[@yuna6666]

“When it comes to death, why rush. We all get there sooner or later. The only thing guarantee when we’re born are death and change. Why not wait for the next wave of change? What if I stayed? What beautiful things could be waiting for me? I can die anytime. What’s the rush” I just want the pain to be over.

[@getcreative8912]

Why live if you die?

[@jnm3523]

@@emmacarignan but what if nobody could ever love you because everyone who ever did left

[@Sarah.geraleen]

GeT CrEaTiVe because it's the little things in life that make life worth living, even if we all die in the end.

[@NoName-rb7mr]

Maybe the pain is worth it, if it means waiting for something fantastic and worth living for in the future. That’s what keeps me going.

[@psychopathinthemaking]

@@jnm3523 what if you miss the greatest love you ever had because you left before you could find it?

[@randomgirl4563]

You know it's back when you start watching these again, and listening to sad music

[@imke7976]

I don't want it to come back

[@danielramirez1529]

It comes back. It always comes back.

[@itzsora5573]

I thought I was the only one... kind of cruel, but somehow I am glad I'm not alone

[@scarlettknight381]

Im falling back into that hole i tried to climb out of

[@Angela-wj5sj]

Scarlett Knight : lets find our way out together.

[@user-yd7jh4du7d]

Honestly, it feels really strange to me when I'm not thinking of suicide. Without this thought, I feel somehow empty.

[@薇vern]

Is that...good? Does that mean you felt fulfilled thinking of suicide? I-I'm really confused.

[@user-yd7jh4du7d]

@@薇vern No, it doesn't satisfy me at all. But without these suicidal thoughts, I have the feeling not to be me. It feels wrong and alien to not have to think about suicide. It feels like my thoughts have been exchanged with someone else's. Could be a dependency of this feeling, I don't know.

[@Tiff-Talks-98]

Sometimes mental illness can take up so much space in our minds and souls that we feel it is a part of us and it can feel weirdly empty once its not there anymore. You are not alone in feeling that way. I suggest trying different things and hobbies to try to figure out who you are and redefine yourself so that feeling of emptiness can be less present.

[@lindseywaggerby7842]

It’s because you feel comfortable with the options. There are multiple options in life we have to choose and it’s for some reason comforting to know that we can make it all stop at anytime but we still choose to fight it out of curiosity of the world. Without those options we would feel empty.

[@sebs796]

it does not have to be like that and it can not be like that!God bless you and your life🙏❤.

[@ahkuralay]

"The only thing guaranteed when we're born are death and change. As I was trying to drown the thought came to me. Why not wait for the next wave of change?" that always helps

[@kaet7472]

Everyone says "itll get better", but I've heard those same words for 6 years now😖

[@MarcellaJ07]

It only gets better when you decide to walk a different path. ❤ Create a Life how you want it ❤

[@LoveIXTC]

@@MarcellaJ07 thats easier said then done. Happieness in this sick world is a lie.

[@MarcellaJ07]

@@LoveIXTC I'm sorry life is that way for you. That makes me sad, and I don't even know you. I hope you can find a reason to smile... There will always be pain, it's how you push though it & find the beauty that creates unbreakable strength. I sincerely hope you find it!

[@its.tonyyyy]

Kay t I’ve heard it for 4 years I’m 11 at this moment I know I need help But I can’t reach it

[@jenniferduarte4293]

Tony Morales Someone is always ready to listen. Whether it is someone you know, or a hotline, know that somebody will always be in your corner.

[@rasmatalliasolomon6023]

I thought about suicide countless times but never did it cuz I knew I had people who loved me.

[@offtothenextadventure4048]

Please never give in to the thought of suicide.

[@tiny-angry-chicken]

I did too, that’s the reason I didn’t kill myself when I was 9. Suicide isn’t the good way out, it’s just the easiest

[@kornworkman299]

I never did it because I knew it would be painful physically.

[@discontinued853]

Rasmatallia Solomon if youre depressed, PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!! Dial numbers for help like googling it or talk to a family member, ANYONE! I hope youre okay and we are all here for u, we love u

[@annelise6236]

i felt that

[@philip0012]

Anna, you are rare dose of humanity in a depressingly artificial world. If you only knew how desperately needed you are. I imagine when your day does arrive, you will finally understand how much light you brought to this darkness

[@celinejackson4527]

:0

[@ameliaperez7682]

That just made me tear up jeez.

[@celinejackson4527]

well shet i don't feel a thing

[@anemoemu3083]

I love this because it shows how seemingly little things can build up to something huge

[@forest_goblinn]

5:17 Can really relate. When you have depression, every holiday season you tend to feel so painfully alone and that everyone around you is (seemingly) reveling in happiness. You couldn't really care less about Christmas or birthdays, because they just don't feel the same anymore like they did when you were a kid and when things were easier.

[@duckymomo5591]

Lisa Holly I can relate so much,When I go to events and my friends are in those skinny tight dresses showing their nice long legs and hourglass figure,While your just there With your broad shoulders,Fat arms ,legs,pregnat belly even though your NOT PREGNAT,sigh I relate lisa hollu

[@angiegomez6565]

Oof that hit hard

[@renearamsey4406]

this hit home for me. perfectly describes what I've been experiencing

[@letterbadger5191]

I understand. It happens so often sometimes it's what feels normal.

[@eileenmarie1652]

This is what my depression feels like. All day. Everyday. I hardly feel it anymore. I tell myself every time that I am useful. I am important. But it’s bad.

[@Laurrenlleea]

QueenMoonElle you are useful and important and most of all you are loved!

[@mangoheartss]

“You know you can die at anytime... but what’s the rush?” That hit hard. Sometimes you just need here something so simple, yet so honest for things to click and make sense. I can’t say that it would keep me from feeling/thinking the way I do sometimes, but it’s something I think I’ll be reminded of when I am in those moments. Thank you Anna, I love when you talk about this cause it’s real, you completely understand the feelings. They make me feel but they also encourage me to push through.

[@MarcT1995]

😥 I need to get this quote tattooed

[@X420ytw]

I don’t wanna die anymore. But I want... -a happy and peaceful family -happiness -peace -a hug -friends that don’t bully me -privacy

[@X420ytw]

@Minna Okubo *hugs back* tysm ッ

[@ivanvilla3936]

I tried twice. One time after an argument with my parents I tried hanging myself from a portable clothes hanger. The whole thing broke apart and wasnt really a legitimate attempt but more of a cry for attention. The second time was weird, I wasnt sad, I wasnt angry but I just felt like it had to end. I was home alone and set up the rope in a wooden awning we had in the back yard. Got up to it with a chair and pushed it away with my feet. I panicked immediately when I felt myself gasping for air, I struggled a little bit but was able to squeeze my hands between the rope and my throat and swing my legs to reach for the folding chair that now was on its side. I was able to tip toe on the chair and release the noose. Afterwards I never tried again except for the whole drugs, cigarettes and alcohol "slowy but surely thing". The weird thing to me looking back now is how calm I was when I actually tried it. It wasnt anger, it wasnt sadness, it felt almost like a relief, like it was the answer I was looking for. I think its important for people to understand that sometimes to people its just something that takes over your mind, something that just keeps popping into your mind until it starts looking like a good idea.

[@mackixu]

Ivan Villa i hope you’ve found peace since then. Keep fighting the good fight.

[@amagathe1975]

I'm glad you're still here!

[@phoebewiseman856]

That's exactly how it felt, so natural as if that was the answer. But it didn't work and now looking back I think I just couldn't bare the misery that I feel still. But if you ever feel that way just cry and scream into a pillow, it really helps.

[@kaceyknapman8284]

Ivan Villa I don’t know you personally, but I do know this. Everyone has a purpose in this world, wether your deeply devoted to your purpose, or widely devoted to your purpose. Everyone questions themselves ‘why am I here?’ But do question it! Find your purpose, what motives you? We live in a world of duality, light/dark, good/bad but the only thing that matters in this world, is being at peace with life just as it is :)

[@appleskitest1]

I can be your friend if you’ll have me...

[@jkc-kp]

You don't die for the bad days, you live for the good ones.

[@anni613]

When we are born into this world, we are so pure. Little did we know that this world can be harsh and cruel. But I am thankful for this video, which is a reminder that there are sooo many good things in this world. It just takes a little digging, a little soul-searching, and perhaps a lot of perseverance. Thank you Anna.

[@kittydavidson1148]

I watched this with an electrical cord around my neck I just want to say thankyou for saving my life your projects are really inspiring and you're doing some real good

[@user-bu9ne7ef3q]

Huh

[@Luna-uz7dd]

Hey Anna, I‘m also half japanese and as soon as I heard your mom scream „I don’t care anymore“ in japanese, I couldn’t hold back and I bursted into tears. My mother hasn’t told me that yet, but just the thought of it caused so much pain in my heart. Even though she can sometimes be really annoying, I still love her so much & I want to make her proud. Thank you so much for making this film. Thank you♥️

[@juliescafe1]

Luna same. Also half Japanese - that moment really did it for me

[@catboiologist6349]

Luna me too! My parents are Japanese while my grandmother and my brother are Korean but this mini movie is so sad... (*´ー｀*)

[@sisiiwdksjsisjsjjajsj1123]

half japanese too but my dad. except he has told me this.

[@alexvxz79]

Hey I’m also half Japanese!

[@SheConspiracyPlotter]

@ no one was saying that being half japanese is a bad thing

[@bambicherryblossom1137]

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW THATS RAVI FROM JESSIE

[@CosmicScribe1]

I am! I was looking for a confirming comment lol

[@beyondesoteric]

LMAOAO FR

[@thekitchenfloor8360]

i couldn’t even tell til the last breakup scene

[@laina]

Anna, this is incredible and so beautifully done. I don’t even have the words to explain how much I love this. The amount of effort and vulnerability that went into this is so impressive and I was SOBBING by the end. You are so talented and have an incredible eye for art and storytelling. Very well done!

[@LaQuesaDeMI]

Agreed! My eyes are so wet now. Really well done, and with the positive ending. She filmed what so many of us, unfortunately, feel.

[@AnnaAkana]

Aw thank you Laina!

[@alexfan5798]

Ily 💓👑

[@justethan2731]

Her cutting the strawberries and hesitating is my favourite part.

[@adov323]

my friend Skye killed herself last summer by jumping out her bedroom window into the driveway. She was 13. AT the time I was in a very depressive state but after Skye died too soon I realized that I had to give it time for life to get better. And life's been hell and it just doesn't feel worth it but I've made it over a year since Skye died and I'm going to try to live for at least another year in hopes for things getting better. I'm going to stay alive for Skye (and coincidentally tomorrow, November 5, would've been her 15th birthday. Happy birthday pal, I miss you)

[@kristinasworld2391]

Awh

[@camforpresident]

Don't wait for life to get better, make it better. Life might not be hell but your mindset is, so your mind needs the change. If it's hard for you to get motivated, let a professional motivate you to motivate yourself. Or get into self help, there's a lot of videos or forums or books about self help. Important is to make little steps and one day you'll wonder how far you've come and how beautiful life can be if you want it to be beautiful.

[@sofiah8813]

sweet mems i'm on my period but this made me cry

[@Gabby-kt7mr]

There are so many things to stay alive for, be there to see them. I hope you get better soon. ❤️

[@mivana9097]

sweet mems This made me cry. Stay strong❤

[@CoushattaL]

Oh wow. I wasn't expecting this. Brought tears to my eyes. I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember and these thoughts always cross my mind. I still hold on because I keep hoping it gets better. We have to believe it does

[@karere8673]

And it will, for me the one who helped me alote was God and some good friends a had, when you see that you dont fell or fight alone :) keep it up n.n

[@kokonaharuka2196]

Same.. I have depression I cut my arms.. And my wrists but whats the point of commiting suicide

[@ur_fav7794]

Kokona Haruka there is no point in committing suicide, we need you here, it will get better

[@kokonaharuka2196]

@@ur_fav7794 thats what they all say...

[@dasampaguita9562]

*Not suicidal, I just really need a place alone for me to breath, away from things that suffocate me*

[@bethtriescooking]

This is one of the most powerful videos I have ever seen. Anna, thank you so much for making this masterpiece and for sharing so much of your life with us. You are so strong and we love you. If you fall into any sort of suicidal hole again, know that all of us, the millions that watch your videos, care. Everyone, let the people in your life know how much you love them. Blessings to all x

[@birdfries233]

I just want a hug or someone to tell me “it’ll be ok”

[@jasminessomewhere]

Gummy_bears1262 I wish I could hug you and make everything better! 💜 You are strong and amazing, and things will get better. I don't know what you're going through, but change is one guarantee in life, you can get through this. For what it's worth, I'm here if you ever want to talk or rant or anything. I'm rooting for you!

[@jasminessomewhere]

Gummy_bears1262 I can't see that emoji, but I hope you're okay.

[@birdfries233]

Jasmine you’re so nice

[@jasminessomewhere]

Gummy_bears1262 Aw, thanks. I'm just trying to help if I can.

[@eldugmo]

Don’t we all

[@terrysmith7447]

That scene with the mother: THAT'S were it all starts--The future of bad choices in Men, in friends, in actions, the future in which we become co-dependent on bad people and bad things, the future in which we draw no boundaries for ourselves, the future in which we fail to take care of ourselves and love ourselves. And it takes years of harm and hurt to realize it. But when we finally do....

[@isabelleisidro8832]

Thank you for commenting this. You just enlightened me. I have a strained relationship with my mother. She also emotionally abused me since my childhood. And since then, all of my friendships and romantic relationships have been toxic. I became dysfunctional. The concept of healthy relationships were and have always sounded foreign to me.

[@astoldbynickgerr]

*if* you do...

[@yayakibo1062]

This makes me scare of having a child

[@RosiDiaries01]

Her worst pain was her sister killing herself,i always cry watching just imagining for a second if that were to happen to my sister

[@terrysmith7447]

@@isabelleisidro8832 I'm so glad this helps you! Watch my other Channel for more inspo: @Tressa Arasheben. And I hope everything is well for you.

[@inevitablyaberrant]

I try to remember to rewatch this once a year. It's such a good one.

[@mikoajkidon2815]

I suffer from depression and I'm totally suicidal. When I watch your videos I feel that someone understands me. It makes me wanna stay alive a couple days more. Stay happy. Thank you.

[@ughara8630]

Mikołaj Kidoń She certainly needs to know how much this has helped ppl like us

[@mentallyabadasspodcast]

keep living! I promise you that you have a purpose! don't let the evils of depression beat you. You are way more powerful then that!

[@phoebejones5411]

Mikołaj Kidoń You are SO strong, please keep fighting :)

[@TitaniumDolphin]

@@ughara8630 Just a glance at the comments could tell her that

[@angie2989]

It’s heartbreaking how many people can relate to this and that I can say that I can also relate... If you’re reading this and you’re going through depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, whatever it may be, you’re not alone. There are people that can help you. Your life can get better, but if you end your life you’ll never get to see yourself get better. Life is so beautiful, and we all take it for granted. Remember, you are loved.

[@LoneLadyGamer]

No one can help me, I'm beyond help. The nightmares from being in the military never seem to stop. I simply want to end it all.

[@ewurakuasackey242]

LoneLadyGamer you aren't alone Love exists and is out there just for u

[@maceyhooke2940]

this comment made me cry why don’t know

[@mommyeatz]

i don't know...

[@abigail7815]

@@LoneLadyGamer I think you might have PTSD

[@mysterious_lovatic4820]

At the beginning was anyone else screaming, RAVI!!!

[@river-sama7681]

yep

[@eline.k1373]

I died when i heared that voice crack hahahahha

[@janethnavarro1426]

Same

[@xxrosalysxx2200]

Ya

[@angelicanadini5274]

Um...who's Ravi?

[@erk44]

Ive struggled with wanting to die for half my life now. I tried several times to end my life. But it was not my time. I never felt i belonged here. I still dont. I continued to live, and yes. I saw some extreme beauty. But extreme suffering came with it. The beauty and intensity of life gets bigger as you grow. Its very hard. You want to be happy deep down. Of course. Everyone does. You come into the world with happiness in your heart and people just tear away at it. Unfortunately its part of the process so you can become the strong person one day who will stand up, look at it and realize you will smile again someday. Life cannot take away that beauty inside. Its in there. And it will come out. Dont worry. It always comes out. Because it cannot be killed. Blessings to mine out there who are struggling. Like me. Hopefully we will be ok. You never know, just remember to breathe.

[@jaibee_e]

I watch this every time I feel like I can't go on anymore, it really helps

[@kavya1261]

Jay Garcia stay ok?

[@jaibee_e]

@@kavya1261 I'm still here c:

[@MissIndipendant98]

Same

[@pjw8653]

Me too.

[@justchris1717]

Me too. Wish you the best

[@sofetch2289]

I HAD been depressed nearly all my life. Never used to talk about it with anyone. Instead of cutting, i used rubber bands on my wrist. Its weird how i also had it planned (like many people in the comments) that I would end it on my 18th birthday. My 18th birthday was in Marth 2018. I decided against it. Instead of ending it, I was determined to heal my soul. I quit everything. School, social media, depressing music. I started spending time with my parents,friends (real ones) and myself (most important). And it worked. I had never thought it was possible to feel this whole again. But i do. I hope i could say it was a phase, because it wasnt. It was very real and thus whenever i see videos like these i get transported back to those gloomy days. Be strong people❤️. And keep trying. Keep fighting.

[@Lav3nd3rForest]

I wanted to end my life when I was 14 and the next time was when I was 18 after Graduation but I will be 19 in 1 month

[@Eva-to7vp]

Oof I also planned my death two years ago when I was 14. I ended up tearing the letter I wrote, to write another.. I planned to put this letter on my bed (all cleaned bedroom) and to be on my floor, dead, so that when my mom would have knocked on my door, she would have noticed something was wrong and then, Bam, she’d find out the whole thing. Suicide is a hard thing to talk about. I recently said I would jump off the subway edge. Because of anger and sadness. (Something happened: I’ll keep it secret), But emotions are a powerful thing to deal with, in my case. ;/

[@anniegirl_1421]

purplepall glue wow, you're so inspiering❤️

[@soupdish9443]

Cutting off circulation or pull and let go? I let go. Shame I can’t do the same with my problems..

[@barrysteakfriessimp_real]

Its great that you feel better :) (That pfp is really interesting tbh lol)

[@grilledcheese4930]

My mother hates me and yells at me for every little thing I do and says that she’ll give me away. My older sister hates me and doesn’t talk to me. My best friend left me because someone talk me up to her. I only trust my dog at this point - he has never hurt me

[@amalia1655]

You are not alone💕

[@grilledcheese4930]

crybaby _24 thanks to my dog

[@amalia1655]

Well dogs are incredible friends.. they are better than humans but we all love you... and even your mother will realise that she loves you but some things takes time. We all love you💕

[@sage7296]

Grilled Cheese 💙

[@Noellebby_]

i don’t think she hates u she probably have been going thro bad things when she was little and she’s probably being hard on u my mom has been thro some things in her childhood that made her be who she is

[@forrestmorrison4641]

I’ve been really struggling lately. Thank you Anna

[@القمر-م2ن]

I send you courage ! ♡

[@TheMutantCreeper]

The part where Anna was putting the cutting knife against her arm while cutting her food was relatable to me. I was at my boyfriend’s house and I believe I was making food late at night and I grabbed a kitchen knife, dragging the side against my arm and hand. I didn’t do anything but I thought about it. I honestly don’t remember if my boyfriend went into the kitchen or I left the kitchen, it’s weird to think about because I never realized how bad I was.

[@kichonacho800]

By the thumbnail, title or very possibly both, I can already tell this short is gonna hit hard and close to home. Still, can't wait to see what you have planned!

[@Convoluted-and-Exiled]

I agree completely..

[@damiawoldring1641]

My dad killed himself almost 4 years ago, I never understood... But now I do, I think that I also have mental issues😔

[@estefaniii8052]

I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through but be strong for you’re mother and siblings

[@2007Club]

Mia Hoi your not alone 🇷🇺

[@nqwochi]

the pain you feel right now, is the pain others will deal with if you die...you're not alone

[@mette.7826]

Do you wanna talk?

[@damiawoldring1641]

Thnx guys❤️❤️❤️

[@danovski]

I can relate to this so much. It breaks my heart to see people that I admire having passed through such similar hard and desperate moments. My respect for you Anna went way, way up.

[@blackpinksloyalservant7000]

The part where her pet dies absolutely broken my hart! 😭

[@chris-od5cd]

the saddest part is that it's about her real sister.

[@abinothayyilsanoj4182]

Real sister?

[@marciamcdevitt964]

John Wick her younger sister killed herself at age 13. That’s what the scene was referencing where she stands in the closet and mimics hanging herself from a clothing bar. It really happened. 😢

[@talia.n00]

That part had me SHOOKITH

[@LeendaDProductions]

ahh thank you for making this.

[@superpeachydraws]

You’re my fave i love your channel!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@mcery1]

THIS is how you prevent suicide trough KZbin! Thank you Anna!

[@broccoli444]

The part with the little girl in the coffin at the end made me cry because I’ve thought of things younger than that and what would my family do? Ahgg Jesus

[@linoleumbreathmint]

Same

[@summergirl6444]

This is a masterpiece it should blow up

[@joe-qi8xm]

Anna is such an amazing actor

[@CelestialMoonx]

DID THEY JUST HAND A DEAD ANIMAL CORPSE TO HER.

[@almightyegglord4365]

Best gift of the century

[@kellyohlinger1860]

yeah its the owners responsibility to get the animal buried or cremated

[@toastedcheese]

yeah thats what happens in vets lol, my dad had to bury our cat himself when he died

[@aqilahmzln]

Merry Christmas

[@AlexGarcia-ui5qi]

Almighty Egglord NaNi tF?

[@leafyveins4985]

This is really a masterpiece. I laughed, I cried, I felt hope, I felt empathy, I felt my own experiences represented... This is a true work of the heart and soul. Incredible. Yes, there were some rough parts and whatnot. But I loved the filmmaking techniques and the message was so powerful. What an amazing short, special, beautiful film.

[@djhulkfu7958]

Thank you Anna for not rushing. We need you, like you need us. Anna do not go gentle into that goodnight. Feel, deal, debate, relate, live, and love then repeat.

[@mariee_e]

DJ HULKFU i second that.

[@ravenday1895]

In life there’s only death and change So instead of dying.....wait for a change I’m SOBBING right now ;~;

[@camforpresident]

DO the change, you're an active player in this game of life ;)

[@sabrina16477]

Dont wait, MAKE the change

[@swagmcbuttz638]

“But you’re my person”...yeah I feel that too hard right now

[@nikola7037]

but she found love again :)

[@ceoofranch]

Lowkey out of all the short flim's I've watched I just really love this one. It lets off a completely different feel then most and I just love the colors and everything

[@illlicitaffairs]

*what if i stayed? what beautiful things could happen?* this is what made me stop cutting. thank you.

[@kaimiauriela6069]

Stay strong ❤️

[@offtothenextadventure4048]

Please don't ever think about suicide.

[@loud3316]

I hope you are better right now, be strong

[@Lanimarcial221]

I never cut because I'm to scared and don't want to kill my self because I think of my mom