Another poser’s CRINGE battle jacket tour, oh joy!

#metal #battlejacket #battlevest
METALHEADS, BEHOLD MY MOST EXCELLENT VEST! It exists solely for your judgement, and not for my enjoyment at all!
Arbitrary patch ranking:
1. Dark Tranquility
2. The Beatles (I am told this is incorrect)
3. Cannibal Corpse
4. Carach Angren
5. Rotting Christ
6. Belphegor
7. Dragonforce
8. Chthonic
9. Exhumed
10. Mayhem
11. Warbringer
12. Black Tusk
13 and 14: Cryptocurrency
15: Rivers of Nihil
16: Suffocation
17. DevilDriver
18. Megadeth
19. Mushroomhead
20. Slipknot
21. Immolation
22. Cattle Decapitation
23. Decrepit Birth
24. The Black Dahlia Murder
25. Nile
26. Sabaton
27. Amon Amarth
28. Slayer
29. Behemoth
30. Panzerfaust
31. Black Anvil
Edited with Splice
Thumbnail made with Canva

[@dremunoz2600]

Bruh, your brand of humor is classic. I thought at first you were going to tear into some strangers battle vest but you delivered gold on this one. Btw your battle vest is pretty dope.

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!🤘

[@munkeeboy808]

yeah he had me on that one also. good vid

[@Ironlakgrafff]

Some of the “fake” or bootleg patches look ridiculously bad, but bands that aren’t around anymore and aren’t making and selling patches - I don’t have a problem with buying a patch (if it looks good) from someone who made it out of love for the band.

[@Matrim42]

Word. Some bands don’t even have their own patches. I’m of the opinion that fan made patches, particularly unique ones, are showing love.

[@gutterdweller1607]

Its interesting to see you say with pride that a patch was bought from a band. I'm used to punks, including myself, say bragging that they made their patches.

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Making patches for yourself is awesome, especially if you can’t find patches for a band anywhere. It shows dedication and gets the band’s name on something without them having to make it and sell it. My pride in buying direct from a band is a lesser pride in just knowing that I supported a band directly, albeit it in a small way. I don’t think I have the skill to put together my own patches unless I just Sharpie the band name onto some fabric lol I haven’t rewatched this video in a while, so if I said anything that sounds like I’m pooping on self-made patches, what I should have said is nothing against making a patch for your own use, I’m more wary of bootlegs that are passed off as official merch (which I admit, I’ve been guilty of resorting to up to and including this vest/jacket/thing)

[@tsdmft6638]

Same here I started with metal then got introduced to the local scene which is a mostly crust punk. Sometimes we got like weird folk music or just synth because we only really got one venue for alt music. So seeing the culture of punks instead of metal was very eye opening. I can barely go to metal concerts anymore. The intenstiy of small punk shows is the best.

[@bezoticallyyours83]

Love that Maiden back patch. I made egg salad a few days ago.

[@legowars82500]

Such a great feeling to catch a guitar pick. I caught a pick from one of Death Angel's guitarists and it was awesome.

[@nukkleargarlicbread]

I've been there bruh. My first battle jacket is pleb city. It's why I tell people to wait a while to develop their taste before making a jacket, either wise you will regret it.

[@gunkgirl]

fun fact: my parents abuse the fact call things that have patches on them "battle vests" or "battle jackets" or "battle pants" and theyre like "jUsT cALl it a JaCKet or thOSe ArE bOnDAgE pAntS" my disappointment is always immense and my life (has already been) ruined

[@gunkgirl]

also based never seen anyone with a cryptopsy patch also u dont like thrash?!!!!??!! *dramatic gasp*

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

I am so sorry 😞 And I’m even more sorry for not liking thrash, believe me I have tried! I like seeing thrash at live shows and I like thrash fans, I just can’t sit through albums. I guess it’s a genre where I need to be moving around to enjoy it. 🤷

[@thesvc2006]

first video i've found of yours, but had to say i legit love it. feels like hanging out with a friend jokin on metal shit and i love it. \m/

[@sugr_cookie253]

i have no idea why but your type of humor is so funny to me- like a few times throughout this video i probably died laughing just bc of stupid stuff you said 😭😂

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

RIP 🪦 😔🤘

[@toxiccryptid]

Just checked out your channel, you got some well made videos dude. I wish ya luck with your channel it definitely deserves more subs \m/

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Thank you so much! It’s mainly just for fun, but I enjoy trying to improve a little bit each time 🤘

[@diarrheapool]

Nice vest but some of those stitch jobs...(suffocation) my God! good job though, man.

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Lol it’s a miracle that it hasn’t fallen off of the vest, honestly 😂

[@diarrheapool]

I know right, I was like how is thing hanging on?

[@JIMMYJREVIEWS_thaiM-A-F-I-A]

I feel like a lonely soul because I have Alice n chains battle vest I have yet to see another one .... maybe I should of made a battle flannel? ..LOL great video \m/

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

An Alice In Chains battle vest and battle flannel both sound awesome! 🤘

[@bezoticallyyours83]

I want to see

[@bardoprofano]

the only """"problem"""" i have with your vest is the sewing, it looks amazing hahaha

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Haha, thank you, maybe one day my sewing game will improve! 🪡🤘

[@gigiperih]

That asking alexandria poster tho...

[@internalfox4776]

It’s the wife’s

[@bathory5026]

It's still weird to see Slipknot patches on vests

[@Darkless4X]

It amuses me that you have a Mushroomhead patch @ 9:35 on your vest! I have a Mushroomhead patch in the front of my Battle vest I've started working on since the beginning of 2022! Still got more patches I need to get to cover up all the empty spaces of my first battle vest.

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Hell yeah, I hope you have fun making it! 🤘🫡

[@owaingray3480]

This video in insultingly funny in places. Very nicely made, dude.

[@lou5630]

just got this video recommended to me and it was real funny i’m suprised you don’t have more subscribers

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! 🤘

[@smackroscoe]

I enjoy the humor & the honesty. Truly no “F’s” given. Oh fuck I’m your 69 subscriber?

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

N I C E !

[@jeffrielly]

I'm looking at doing a battle vest myself which I'm wanting a Giant Lovebites patch on the back as the centerpiece of it, but I can't find one I can only find one of the smaller ones :(

[@perryj075]

Love the laszlo poster in the background

[@ThePineappler_]

Great video and killer vest 🤘 subscribed

[@roadkill3553]

So I’m curious, What was the punk rock NBA video you mentioned at 0:12?

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/mIHZhZR-nZypbqs

[@roadkill3553]

@@TheAverageMetalPoser cheers dude!

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Hell yeah! 🍻

[@Metal666lord]

I dont buy into the "you have to see the band live to wear the patch" if you love the band you can wear it

[@viniciusaugusto4225]

Nice battle!

[@swampdonkey4919]

Most of my t-shirts and patches come from live shows, and I don't really listen to a lot of music at home, so...

[@tobyroberts7761]

the nadja and laszlo poster ,yesss!!

[@DenyTheZeitgeist]

All part of the journey man. I have a diverse taste in music and my vest reflects that. I see them live, they go on the vest. I’ve got Blue October next to Behemoth next to Ghost and Breaking Benjamin. Shoot, I might throw The Beach Boys in there too if I wind up going. I’ll be a sight in my battle jacket surrounded by the nursing home.

[@NosferatusLair]

Your sewing is... different 😊

[@osbaldohernandez9174]

My vest got a mixture of everything punk rock thrash death black metal

[@richardnewbold6155]

Hey hey you ironed the Maiden back patch because it's "Iron" Maiden, see what I did there😆 incidentally Iron Maiden are my number ONE band🤘

[@peterross8610]

the NYBM patch is from "black anvil".

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

And what a black anvil it is indeed 🔨

[@davesleyer9393]

My vest is all motorcycle stuff and six Motörhead patches. 1 generic patch that just says death metal

[@MiserablePyre]

immolation and slipknot on the same battlevest is like sewing a burger from a locally owned and renowned steakhouse onto your vest and then eating it and shitting it out and rubbing it all over it the vest and letting it dry out in the sun.

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

That sounds like a wonderful Devin Townsend concept album 💿

[@marsha4253]

The amon amarth phase is so real

[@goatcrypt9021]

lmaoo can't name the band, I'm going to shoot myself in the head if I keep laughing this hard fucks sake

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Haha, there might be other steps you can take to stop laughing before that but idk I’m not a doctor 👨‍⚕️

[@belikeron]

Definitely add a patch of a handful of m&ms to the Megadeath patch.

[@OpossumKing138]

what kinda thread did you use to sew looks cool

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

@@OpossumKing138 Thanks, it’s sinew.

[@howiemandel5787]

The sewing on the warbringer patch😂🤣

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Truly, my greatest artistic work to date 🖼️

[@Enfield15]

I don’t know why but I had a dream where this vest was some big metal musicians vest and he was exposed as a poser and this video came out and it was crazy 💀

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

You may have had a premonition about the future, when all vest wearers will be poser exposed. 🦺

[@Enfield15]

@@TheAverageMetalPoser ah! I see..

[@Divine1111X]

😂😂😂 I dislike my vest I’ve had it since high school nothing wrong with the bands my taste has changed a lot I’m starting a new one

[@StitchPlaysGuitar]

Cool

[@AbiARDH.Official]

I saw DT...I subscribe

[@Jakster840]

Nice Church of Disgust hat.

[@coldacre]

on the poseur-meter this jacket gets a high mark. Slipknot makes it an automatic 10….. points could be deducted for the 2 good bands you have on there (Immolation & Mayhem) but you don’t listen to either… so you get a 9.5/10 for wimp & poseur (and for pronouncing Crytopsy like Joe Biden)

[@thefuneralparade]

let's see your britney spears autograph collection

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

God I wish I had a Britney Spears autograph collection

[@ElijahKrueger]

Best band in the video was church of disgust!

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Never heard of ‘em

[@user-pu7wo3wt1h]

Bruv idk about that stuff bands i just think there cool

[@The_Oak_Boat]

Did the suffocation patch dirty

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

One might say that I suffocated it.

[@musclethestrong1522]

I love this jacket. I don’t know a single band on it. I’m going to make one exactly like it.

[@legowars82500]

Are you in the group, Metalhead Poserposting?

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

Haha yes, that group is the main thing keeping me on Facebook

[@legowars82500]

@@TheAverageMetalPoser Man, I had this huge feeling I saw your name somewhere before when it popped up. XD Been thinking of getting back into working on a metal vest for the first time since I was 12 and your vid was motivating. I appreciate the humor and relaxed discussion that went on throughout the video.

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

@@legowars82500 thanks, I appreciate it, and you should definitely make that vest!

[@legowars82500]

@@TheAverageMetalPoser I plan to start it soon. Just gotta get the right vest.

[@legowars82500]

@@TheAverageMetalPoser I have started my patching up my vest and it feels nice.

[@Jerrid_8675]

Tbdm good

[@badground3534]

The numetal patches should not be on the same vest as rotting Christ

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

And yet, here we are.

[@eclat4641]

Lipsnot

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

tonkpilS 🎉

[@eclat4641]

@@TheAverageMetalPoser lol

[@Firusdhf]

You called sabaton war metal?

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

No, they are not war metal, they are only the Sabaton of war metal. And if that makes sense, no it doesn’t

[@salbathnengminja3201]

Give me as a gift brother 🤟

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘

[@charlestonchewie3571]

Dude, you have a asking Alexandria poster on your wall. You have no business in talking metal or cutoffs. Also on speaking of cut offs. It's metal to put whatever you are into, onto your vest, there is no shame. Metal is to be yourself and f everyone else's opinions. If your down with metal, throw up metal patches, if you like my little pony, throw it up. But stay true to your sh!t, that and only that is metal. But def not asking Alexandria hahaha

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

My little pony is very metal indeed

[@careful__Icarus]

Exactly how many "battles" have you clowns been thru?

[@TheAverageMetalPoser]

I once had to shit so hard on a plane, you and your cat have no idea

[@cervy8461]

if u can pull off a joke with a straight face the punchline will literally beat the air out of my lungs the beatles bit straight up murdered me btw 🪦