"Are we exclusive?" Dating difference, China vs USA | Jujube Show

[@owochocolate9298]

I am a Westerner but honestly (from the sound of it) I prefer non-Western dating culture! It seems much more clear and less complicated. I feel like people in the west don’t like to express their emotions explicitly so there’s never a confession, you just ‘know’ if you’re dating which can be frustrating because I can also not tell (unless they specifically say ‘date’ I think it is just a friendly hang out). I feel like because there isn’t a clear way to distinguish between ‘hang out’ and ‘official’, situationships and heartbreaks are normal in the West because miscommunication can hurt.

[@propanaughtygeez8287]

The problem with the Chinese way is, as she said, theres like a set month of talking before dating. During that period, if you like the person, you have no idea whether they like you back or whether you're wasting your time. In western culture youll make it clear from the outset and then the person will tell you whenever if they're no longer interested.

[@daelanbro]

You have NO idea what you’re setting yourself up for.

[@johnhitz6931]

I am Older and Dating An Older Woman in China, And We Both Share Our Past and Presence Lives, we are going to Meet In 4 months, We Both want To move Forward in Our Relationship

[@sonofsarek]

Dating in college: meet at a party, get drunk, hookup, decide if you want to date after (70% of people). The other 30% are more conservative and meet in class, church, work, or in the dorm. Dating after college: meet online or at work, date for a while (1-3 months), then become exclusive.

[@danix4883]

Bro basically summarize dating in the USA

[@scotthearts9634]

I couldn't agree more, with this. 😂😅

[@BAn-mu4qe]

Ting Ting, It's not that American guys aren't interested in family....it may be that they are too young to consider marriage or they aren't interested in that particular girl for marriage. You can't rush an American guy! But, if he really wants to be with you, you will definitely know even if he is very shy. Jack's comments about 'hooking up',etc. before even deciding to commit to the person is more common among 'younger people'. I think that 'older people' tend to clarify these things before getting physically serious. As a woman and being conservative, I would never just 'hook up'. I expect commitment.

[@ericfournier2816]

You should not put any European country in the "West", because dating is very different than in the US.

[@tianqiwang869]

So agree. And I think the word when Americans say white-washed they really mean American-white-washed. American white, British white, German white, Egyptian white, …, I believe they are all somewhat different.

[@Jabafish]

Agreed

[@eazye088]

I'm a 34 year old dude who has a 58 year old Chinese sugar momma and things are great. 🇵🇭 🇨🇳

[@MusicIsKindaDope]

This was the wrong guy to ask these questions 😂

[@tianqiwang869]

I think even though we both call it boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, in Western dating culture, it implies something real serious, but in Chinese romantic relationship culture (don’t want to call it Chinese dating culture), it can vary from much less serious to very serious.

[@Judah-pu5lc]

I think I like the Chinese dating premise. But I wouldn't do it until I knew I was At least mentally ready, maturity wise stuff like that.

[@denisemahe8539]

I'd be curious to see how older people date in China. People who have had their families and are now widowed or divorced. Do they even get the chance to start life anew with someone else?

[@lucyluo3898]

Not every old generation is open mind on that one, but most of their kids recommended their parents do!

[@jamegumb7298]

Any divorced woman in China has a big mark against her, just how it is. A single mother is very likely to look for a foreigner, way way better chances of getting married.

[@1881nityy]

I am a chinese. So i can tell you frankly. There is no any dating culture before about 1980s. Most old people get married by introducing their marriage partners through acquaintances, like parents, relatives, friends, or coworkers. Instead of having a girlfriend or boyfriend relationship, they will marry soon. I mean that's the vast majority of the old generation. They are really traditional.

[@tianqiwang869]

Good question! Dating market barely exist for older people I think. And I think my parents aren’t for each other. Because of that, they couldn't find someone else after their divorce. Maybe my dad could, but it was hard for my mom. Even if she could, I bet that would be more utilitarian purposes, like money or taking care of the family/home together, rather than anything mentally. So they ended up together again, somewhat better than before, but still fight a lot. I sincerely wish there could be better chances for the older divorced people, especially those with kids. I think things are getting better.

[@Murph_.]

I married a Chinese woman. She was everything I wanted, until we were married and she moved to the USA with me. Then, she went from a loving, caring wife to a business partner. Everything was about money and business... even sex. She just wanted sex to have children. She was really two different people.

[@hazzah3104]

Red pill men won't fall for this facade nowadays no matter which culture. Attraction is attraction and if they put a time on it then it is never worth the wait

[@doomscyte1087]

In USA, it's sex first and marriage later In China, it's marriage first and sex later

[@tianqiwang869]

Oh that’s for the older generations in China. Now it's more like serious relationship first and sex later.

[@netnomad47]

Actually for many christians and other religions in the U.S it's also marriage first. The way it should be. But hookup culture has ruined everything

[@MusicIsKindaDope]

No , you are just socially akward 😮 ​@@netnomad47

[@DrInduchak]

Any person can clearly understand whether it is a romantic relationship they are heading to or that they have friendly vibes and not a romantic one. If there is confusion you can just talk. Even 1 to 1 friends can hv dinner and watch movies. And it is Not at all a date but nice hanging out. Thereis no demarcation at all. It is the feelings and vibes ( physical affection) that demarcates a date from hanging out.

[@Bob31415]

It is a myth that men and women can "hang out" one on one.

[@mavlonmm6801]

I've seen this dude in Chinese education videos for kids😅😂. So cool to find him on KZbin

[@jarrodyuki7081]

hunan and jiangxi ahe the prettiest women.

[@canadianbird1185]

#1 rule of thumb dating anyone. DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT RACE/ETHNICITY. (where ya really from, what your parents do, are your parents asian, you look like lucy liu, look at that "insert race label" guy) IF THEY WANNA SHARE IT THEY WILL ORGANICALLY SHARE IT. You date the person because you are interested about that individual like anybody else. Not because you got this favoritism/exotification for their "label". Really a huge turnoff meeting people that are ignorant.

[@scotthearts9634]

I 100% agree with this!

[@heilong79]

Seems like there is a lot of talk of ideals verses reality here. Men and women dont just hang out by themselves, there is always natural assessment going on if it will lead to anything regardless of if the other people admits it or not.

[@user-pm2zv9fs5r]

that's not really true

[@therealsagekitty]

If you two one to one. And the guy didn’t offer to pay.. that will be down grade to a hangout. If you want to make it a date. You have to prepare to pay as a guy. If she agrees to go one to one, she at least not a hard “No” in considering the possibility of relationship

[@MartialArtsFC]

3rd date romance. but was told by my chinese gf. they see each other every day for a month and then decide to get serious marriage move in whataver. i said need to date for 2years min.

[@audiojake8]

My Chinese GF was pretty explicit that we are a couple hehe no having to wonder

[@Yishai-dl9fr]

As a young Jewish boy I’m willing to date a Chinese girl ❤

[@mitchelljames6894]

Completely not true. It simply depends on the person. There are plenty of Chinese men and women that do the same things that are the so-called western culture. And there are plenty of Western people that have serious relationships. Chinese guys do the SAME things that Western guys do and so do Korean guys.... they are just not so open about it and keep it hush..... I've seen it with my own eyes.

[@susiQ75]

I feel there's a lot misconception about how we have relationships in America. Moral values are the same in any continent. Cheating is WRONG! Period. But in America LOVE is what we strive for. I think hanging out ( even to a movie and dinner) is that, hanging out because there's no physical contact. Dating ends up with a goodnight kiss. Boyfriend/girlfriend is when you are exclusive and very intimate. Marriage is when you are in love. You choose to be with that person to have a family. Here in the West, virginity doesn't define a women's worth. Yes, we may have the highest rate in divorce because sometimes LOVE thru time can wither. But in the EAST ppl stay married for the wrong reason and it's sad because life is short.

[@herecomesforego1787]

but in the west people say cheating is wrong for the wrong reason, and that's sad because life is short lol

[@Bob31415]

"a women's"?

[@Artist1974CH]

Westerners are so good at telling lies!

[@innanada6536]

❤️

[@Winchesterosteve]

I am really looking for beautiful woman Chines ❤

[@asilbar2]

Because of the CCP I would be very cautious about dating Chinese girls, if I was single !

[@arjanagjergji4538]

What? Why