Are you an INTJ or INFJ?

[@r12-z1v]

INFJ here (I think). It's not so much that I'm really concerned about other people's feelings. It's just that if there is a lack of harmony, I pick up on it very quickly & I feel it almost physically. I need to intervene or do something to make things peaceful, so that I can feel better / comfortable again. It's most comfortable if I just avoid most people, especially toxic people.

[@elypelowski5670]

It seems to me like many INTJ females often 'feel' like they are more INFJ and will question this often as they mature. I theorize this is due to socialization of females and how females roles are viewed in society. Society deems that women's natural role is 'caregiver' and are thus socialized to produce empathy/compassion/feeling towards to fulfil that role. Thoughts ?

[@AlexisKingsley]

Ya! I can say anecdotally that when I use Te it's not nearly as encouraged by Fe women as when I get into Fi, which can lead to problems for me 😅 That's why personality has been life changing for people around me accepting me the way I am and vice versa.

[@francismensah3190]

note this , biological characteristics like being a female would be little emotional than that of a Male , so if both are INTJ the more aloof one will be the Male since females are more emotional

[@johnm.castillo3163]

I 100% agree with you, which is why I think the INTJ female might struggle so much in this patriarchal society internally. The issue is, we learned to assign genders to thought and emotion, saying that thought is a masculine trait and that emotion is a feminine trait. I am a INFJ (like a poster child kind) and INTJ females and INFJ males are the rarest types. It's also been very difficult for me to find work and move up in companies even though it's expected of me, simply because I am more of a nurturer and do not naturally gravitate towards leadership roles. I like counseling people, but in that sense there is not so much a power dynamic, at least not a traditional one. I like to work with others, not for others, and I feel weird about people working for me. I imagine it's the same for INTJ women, where, at least in the workplace, there isn't a natural drive to be overly empathetic and a caregiver role, but there may be an expectation of it, whereby everyone in turn struggles. It's weird. Given that the intersection of our sex/ gender and MBTI typings are so rare there are times when I just give up because we're clearly outnumbered, but then I remember how much I've impacted people in my life simply by listening and supporting them emotionally. It's the best and the worst.

[@narimafanficfan]

yessss !!! right? 😊 you got me. thank you ❤️

[@paulcoleman1137]

Ditto INFJ male -> society norms --> INTJ

[@The-Labbed-Life]

I am definitely and INTJ woman. I really find that I can have a really deep connection with INFJ people, some of my closest friends are INFJ and they understand me on another level, it's very satisfying to see and I learn a lot from them.

[@user-qk7zq4pm1i]

You explain them in the clearest way, I couldn't make sure for 2 years if I'm an INTJ/INFJ/ INTP and only 2 of your videos helped me understand!!! Thank you so much for the time and energy you've put :) ♡

[@Matoro0902_The_Wise]

I’m both, too, I’m an INTJ and can also be an INFJ.

[@donwald3436]

Would you be more one or the other when stressed out and feeling cornered? asks the INTJ lol make of that what you will.

[@MM-sq5pf]

I feel I'm an infj until I'm stressed, then I can be the meanest most uncaring a-hole. So maybe Intj

[@elmehdisaniss2731]

Yeah, infj here, I started interested in business books just the last years for the practical side of my goals. Those kind of books looks to me as practical stuff, the things to do for the do, it's objective or let's say it's a reasoning/logic focused outward, so it seems like a tool a that's it. Now I value a lot systems thinking and how to optimize production and how to develop problem solving skills.

[@khsjjs6520]

I'm an INTJ but I can really read people's mind and emotions example I can really tell if someone is lying to me face to face plus I want to be a lawyer someday.... sometimes I thought I'm INFJ but because of this video I'm 100 percent that I'm really a intj and I'm happy to my personality even some people does not like me and I'm goal oriented 👌

[@johnm.castillo3163]

INFJ here. I don't think it's that people dislike you, it;s that they don't like what they don;t understand and they have the option to try and understand but do not have the wherewithal to in the same way INTJs do. I like INTJs more and more as I get older just because I understand their tone of voice and objectives aren't mean or rude, but they might come across that way for the untrained ear. What is said for the INTJ is more important than how it is said, so I just try and keep that in mind.

[@Elfen41]

Me too

[@Neminja]

@@johnm.castillo3163 As an INTJ female I also have no problems reading people's emotions and even see right through them when they lie to me. I have always had problems making relationships, though I often have people come to me to vent about things, even if I don't know them very well. I have often had people tell me their problems and I work through them with them, playing devil's advocate and helping them see the best solution. Usually after that they lose interest in me until the next time they have a problem. I have always felt like I am not well liked but respected at least.

[@kuwwywhoah]

Yes, I will use that Ti to make sure that the details are understood, even to the point of redundancy and conflation.

[@leonorabrandscheit]

I know that you can't change your type, but in the past i thought i'm an INFJ, which was due to trauma and people pleasing patterns, but now days i heavily see myself in the INTJ descriptions. i question everything and especially everyone today and have my own opinions without absorbing the emotions of everyone. i often know how people feel, but because of logical reasons and signs, forming patterns. i focus on efficiency more than meeting everyones needs and expectations. that was and still is a long road, but it really seems to me, that INFJs are often people with PTSD and when they heal they are more in the thinking area

[@SaadAldousari]

This is a great video. It truly conveys deep differences. For a long time I thought of myself as INFJ, but it turned out that the closer profile to describe me is INTJ. Thank you Alexis.

[@ldceo8920]

You are SO good at explaining things, thank you for this!!

[@robwilson4511]

I've taken several online personality tests and half the time, I'm infj and the other half I'm intj. I'm not sure how far you can take these tests, but I'm happy believing I'm a healthy combination of both. 🙂

[@audreym.342]

I was a hardcore INTJ growing up. But something happened to me and I shifted my whole life perspective. And since, even though I still have some INTJ reflexes like the timer example, but I also definitely focus on people’s feelings a lot more now

[@johniversen1539]

I think after watching this video that I am an INFJ. I had a choice to save myself by going somewhere safe while leaving my mom behind, or stay with my mom, and make sure that we both get somewhere safe. My mom didn't want to go to the available safe place, so that is why I had to choose. I chose to stay in danger to help my mom get somewhere safe rather than getting to safety as soon as possible. That is why I am an INFJ.

[@saraberkebile1705]

Your channel really cleared things up! I think that I am an INFJ, but I initially believed I was an INTP because that is what I would get on several online personality assessments. I found your video on INTP vs INTJ and realized how much I resonated with a dominant Ni. Now I think I am an INFJ! I definitely resonate with Fe and Ti more than Te and Fi, which may have been why I've been typed as an INTP in the first place! Now I need to compare INFJ and INFP just to be sure! LOL

[@saraberkebile1705]

edit: i went in a CIRCLE and further analyzed my cognitive function - referencing my personal journals and identifying which functions i KNOW i have (Ti & Fe). i feel like my Ti is more used than my Fe. i know im certainly not Fi because how i impact how others feel matters to me too much. i know my sensing is inferior because i lack a strong determination of whether or not im introverted or extroverted sensing. these premises lead back to being INFJ. i kinda resonate with Ni in terms of how my mind is. i think the stereotypes mess me up because i’m an INFJ with social anxiety, so i really don’t assert myself on others

[@alteredcatscyprus]

That’s quite a difference that one function makes. Very interesting, thanks.

[@kiki8972]

Oh damn I’m def INTJ. thought I was INFJ but wow. Now I’m rly sure.

[@emmabornier3223]

I've been taking assessment, did all the test, compared result over time. Always had INTJ, and once INFP. People tends to see (at least, online) a high FI in me. I like to help people in some way, if it's the right time and if it is useful. And I also really despise injustice, and I do feel very strongly people's emotion and shit (unfortunately). I just can't deal with it, and it started very young (I had to cut off close friendship because it was too much to handle). Because it is draining, and very difficult to handle. The few INTJ female i've met was were more conscious about those thing than men. Really honest, gentle friends. It is kind of sad that this side of INTJ is kind of hidden. And this is the reason i was still doubting.

[@zupacup7809]

You are INTJ. You just want to be a "good person" while INTJ stereotype out there describes the oppsite..

[@emmabornier3223]

@@zupacup7809 I just saw your comment. I'm pretty confident, after learning function, that Intj fits me best after a lot of research. But I still don't relate to a lot of people typed intj because of the non existent emotional side. Thank you for your comment !

[@Ivereéwiththetwoees]

Good Afternoon❤️ I love your videos!!!!! They help me so much. Last night I learned that I scores INFJ after doing the Myers-Briggs test and getting the INTJ personality results. Then you posted this video🤣🤣😂😂😂😘😘😘🙌🏾🙌🏾 Such a God send!!! I will be setup a session with you. I’m so excited to get some coaching. I feel like I’m both and can balance both the more I understand them. I will say… I think my results changed after watching your INTJ videos and learning to feel and to “keep things simple”😂🤣😩 Please don’t stop making these videos because they truly have help me transform and grow❤️😘

[@AlexisKingsley]

❤️❤️❤️Thank you so much!!! YES let's chat!!

[@aalekhsaxena4247]

This video just put an approved stamp on my INTJ certificate lol. Thanks lady.

[@aditipawale3551]

As an INTJ, My book preference is both type depending on my mood. I mean, I know I am Te type yet I consider myself drawning towqrds all the feels cause of being Fi type as well and obsessing over creative set of works and books like Art, Fiction and Everything which can grow me and my knowledge for infinity. You know what i mean. 😅🌌

[@godKiller.369]

Yes brother I know what you mean. We are drawn like the tide to the next thing we know that we need before we know that we need it.

[@tehufn]

I'm at INTJ or INFP at this point. I think I'm just an INTJ with too much Fi. Also INFJ and INTJ are the same type in Jung's original organization.

[@leonorabrandscheit]

more INTJs have probably an avoidant attachment style. more INFJs have probably an anxious attachment style. mine went from anxious to avoidant and i wonder if my type changed too, but people say thats not possible. i don't think that.

[@leonorabrandscheit]

one sentence really helped me: INTJs are more like thinkers when they are healthy and INFJs are more like feelers when they are healthy. when you are like a feeler when you are unhealthy, but that too long, for example because of trauma, your people pleasing patterns seem like a feeler, when in fact it was a way to survive.

[@glueball214]

Oh wow, this video really resonates with me. I was struggling between INFJ and INTJ. Was trying so hard not to be the robot. But after the cognitive functions, stuck in robot. I wonder what to make of it if the T and F are more balanced, less binary. Or is it gender related, like your other comment said ? Thanks for this. 💙

[@robferguson9801]

I do have a difficult time figuring out which "sounds more like me." I think I fall into one of these two. Most likely leaning toward INTJ but much of sounds like INFJ. I may never know.

[@davidcook680]

I'm a INFJ male. 70 percent feelings. Basically I'm getting more men are intj than INFJ. Basically it would be better for me if I was a woman or a intj. Awesome wait I can't just change it. You are right God can I feel people's emotions. It sucks horrible. If they are mad god it causes me anxiety. If they are sad God I feel it. I take in consideration what I say or do. How others will feel about it. I can't just say screw you I'm doing this. Nope I just can't. I'm also a damn people pleaser. I'm probably more than 70 percent feeling honestly. I probably messed up on the test alittle.

[@johnm.castillo3163]

08:22 As an INFJ, I don't entirely agree with you (but I do for the most part) I think if we all did take better care of ourselves first we are definitely far better off, but this exists only in theory; the reality for INFJs is we tend not to practice what we preach as far as self-care goes the more workload there is in the people around us. It's only when I've got more free time for myself on a daily basis that I develop a healthier ascetic life- disciplined workout routines, diets, adequate sleep, etc. and once this is established it is a lot easier to spend time with people just to spend time with them. I can;t speak for other INFJs on this but it's how I feel. Also, this video is absolutely amazing. I've struggled to understand the difference between Fe and Fi and Te and Ti and this video just made it feel like 2+2=4 so I appreciate that!

[@Mayakran]

“So if you have this bad belief then you may take an action that I’m not agree with morally.” *Exactly*! I’ll get in heated arguments with people sometimes because I’m afraid that their internal (in my view illogical/erroneous) beliefs will lead to behaviors that are destructive, counter-productive, and ultimately harmful to the well-being of humanity as a whole. It’s one of my biggest fears and stressors at the moment, actually. I suppose it could be my INTJ brain is saying something like “Don’t cause chaos! Don’t disrupt ~the system~! 😱”

[@fernandocastro3531]

Wow! So beautiful! Thank you so much for helping me out with this. Finally I feel like I finally know what I am pretty sure I'm infj not intj which I got on a personality test recently when ten years ago the mbti said in infj

[@dogdonut3]

Omg I have said (after a disagreement with my husband), "that was a productive conversation" He didn't necessarily agree. Lol

[@godKiller.369]

INTJs and INFJs may be more different than you think. One thing is the icy cold logic vs firey practicality in arguments, and the gentle vs direct comminication, but they have each other`s aux function as blind spots too (Se for INTJ and Te for INFJ) which can be very telling. I would be very interested in how the types change later in life past middle age. INTJ for instance I have heard (and feel myself) tend to get more abitious.

[@jacquen697]

Intj 48 laws of power , artificial intelligence , the art of war … holographic mind …

[@dani-404]

I'm an INFJ and I read business books or "Te-Oriented Books." Although I will have to say though, I haven't done anything business related, I think I just read those books for the fun of it lol.

[@katherineneville5304]

I have taken the MB test 4 times and I always have come out as IN_J -- 3 times as F and once as J, but always with the F/J scores being tied. I am very interested in how other people 'feel' but I an analytical way -- it's like their emotions are an interesting data point. It's like emotions are to me what a petrie dish is to a chemist. I have come to the conclusion that I am an INTJ who is fascinated by the F function of humans.

[@belovedmess.4699]

Great explanation!

[@ludwigwittgenstein1280]

What if the person can “feel” how are the others emotionally but doesn’t care if they will get hurt or happy or whatever?

[@kyurei4478]

That would be closer to an ENTP from what I've seen. That's why ENTP can look very irritating for INFJs: getting people easily but not using this hability in a helpful way (at least that's the conclusion they may have at first look). But they actually point their emotional problems in a more coarse way, which may not be as well received...But both types actually can get along quite well together, ENTP having the set of functions: Ne-Ti-Fe-Si. I hope this was helpful!

[@enzoys]

I have a question: do you think TE makes us look like needy people? I think I myself usually seek for feedback when I talk to people (that's is, including is romance too, when they get cold on me for APPARENTLY no reason). What do you think?

[@marcoa.gaiotto6195]

So the INTJ is not FIRSTLY concerned about people's feelings, but if people will see the INTJ as imoral and how this is going to make the INTJ feel about himself. There is this stereotype that says that INTJs are not empathetic and INFJs are, and despite being only a stereotype, it was making me wonder (Am I an INFJ or INTJ?). But the truth is that I am more worried about how I am seen and how it makes me feel about myself, than worried about people's feelings (I am not saying INTJs don't care about people's feelings). The good part is that it make me do something about someone's feelings, even if I don't care about it. The bad part is that it can make you start seeking validation and I am trying to get out of this trap. Thank you for clarifying my doubt, Alexis.

[@ccs1229]

Here's a thought - I think infjs would probably feel they fit into the idea of a stereotypical female while an intj would struggle to..maybe .?

[@useless1]

I'm both or 17th personality type idk

[@donwald3436]

Interesting. I will Fe when I'm representing my job position, but waiting for colleagues to...... just...... get...... it....... done....... without complaining....... is sooooo......... painful................ yeah even more sure now that I'm INTJ who has matured other functions.

[@donwald3436]

More interesting. It's only later in life that I started caring what other people thought of me, even to the point of not even fully understanding the shame that a girl expressed to me by ignoring my advances and having her clique reject me instead by bullying me for the rest of my time at that school; until I remembered that even happened a couple of years ago.

[@ARedMagicMarker]

100% a female INTJ.

[@AHumbleHuman]

What if i am both? Because i do feel and act and think and judge whatever it is both ways.

[@chuche5651]

Okay I’m an INFJ

[@mermaidsushi312]

INTJ.

[@planetcaravan4040]

Enneatype makes a BIG difference. I'm an INFJ 8w9 and this combination balance my Fe.

[@MVPA-io5ee]

INFJ 5w6 and they said that's more like INTJ 😅 i guess enneagram 5 comes from my own childhood experiences.

[@planetcaravan4040]

@@MVPA-io5ee Your Ti is very strong

[@ramonapiercesalvatore5917]

Are you agressive?

[@kyurei4478]

I'm a INFJ 9w1 but very close to a 1w9. I think that makes me a very pure form of INFJ 😅.

[@kittyblossom7342]

​@@MVPA-io5eeI am an INFJ 5w6 too...do you love planning? Have you studied engineering? Or do you have a science background/brought up in a family of science background?

[@Vev02.]

Fi makes no sense to me… commjnity is SO IMPORTANT to humans and why depressiona nd anxiety is so high in first world countries… individuqlism and capitalism so like ti like things or even fi strips us of community Fe saves… in a positive note i’m now sure i’m an infj😂

[@zupacup7809]

After learning cognitive functions, i don't care if people mistyping me. I'm intj and i can feel other people emotion but i less care about the people whom i felt the emotion with, IF he/she doesn't have a damn business with me. Keep in mind if helping people a lot exhaust you, then you might be an INTJ because INFJ didn't felt that way because of their Fe And if you hate someone who are clingy and always talking about their emotion a lot, you are 100000% INTJ

[@davidcook680]

I care alot about others emotions. I can't ignore them either. If somebody is sad. God it is heavy. I can start to cry. If they are mad I feel it like a massive weight in my stomach. I don't like conflict at all. So I get like not fear so much. Something else. Even if they aren't mad at me. I have to do something to get them not to be mad. Or sad. I would rather be like intj instead of INFJ. Feel like a damn woman wirh my emotions and feelings and empathy. Im a damn people pleaser too. I'm also a HSP. So im a emotional tit bag. Loud noises bother me. Smells I can't handle. Stress rattles my brain. Anxiety all kinds of shit. People even just watching me doing something. I csn instantly feel it. I know why too. I just know. So yeah other than that I'm great. Lol.

[@LeaveChrisAlone18]

I'm a INTJ and my gf is a ISFP. I only found videos where the gf is INTJ Is that bad? Lol

[@AlexisKingsley]

no of course not! lol

[@narimafanficfan]

😮 what!!! oh you just changed my personality type!!!? for the longest time I believed I was a INFJ ( because I am a. kind of an empath. and I don't want to hurt people generally!! but also, I don't mind a good debate, I be got z lot to say ans adore listening and ASKING A LOT OF QUESTIONS! LoL!! so high in both feeling AND thinking inwardly and outwardly!!!! am I a mutant?😅lol

[@lovettdeleted]

you sound very condescending talking about infj lol.

[@volatilebiscuit]

Lol no 😂 I think she's just talking to the point

[@lovettdeleted]

@@volatilebiscuit nah she talks about Feeling users like that in all her videos, it's pretty obviously condescending. Which is common with women who's self identified as thinkers.

[@clara3492]

oh yep, this video cleared up many things for me. i am indeed an infj who gets stuck in a Ti loop semi-frequently. now onto doing the work. 🥲🥲