Ari Fletcher Says No To A Traditional Marriage 🙅🏾‍♀️| Tyler Perry's Sistas Salon Conversations

Watch Songstress Monica give her thoughts on making marriage your own and more with "Sistas" stars KJ Smith, Crystal Hayslett and TV personality Ari Fletcher, when they step into the #SistasonBET salon! Don't forget to watch a brand new episode of #Sistas TONIGHT on #BET!
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[@keyvayoung166]

Normally I gloss over, but thank you Monica for giving a real world conversation response to the new age chicas.

[@Suavay5]

Facts

[@Queen_EL11]

& she didn’t disappoint! 😆

[@oyomapedro]

Period. She stood on business

[@kaylabaker7141]

❤❤❤

[@vanessavazquez5167]

Right! Spiritual commitment Chile bye 😂

[@amazinglyone10]

Monica is that big sister or friend that you didn't know you needed. TEACH MONICA!!!

[@shantellesteele]

Monica the only one with some sense. Black women get therapy and heal. It baffles me that binding yourself with a child to someone isn’t scary, but being a wife is. Marry before you carry ladies 👏🏽👏🏽

[@kaylacausey]

This!!!

[@crystalj3617]

facts!!!

[@LoveLivelife28340]

This!!!

[@gtbebe]

Exactly feeds into the concept that black American women are the first to get divorced and last to get married by they own men smh

[@jasmineferguson97]

There are no guarantees in marriage either. You can still become a single parent regardless. Marriage is not the end all be all.

[@max8038]

Thinking marriage is a greater commitment than children is crazy.

[@MsMizz1]

It’s a common perspective. I think it may be bc marriage isn’t understood as well as parenting.

[@iamsalaya]

It’s not. Nobody thinks that. But you’re child is you’re child and a different bond. Most women are comfortable to committing to the child until the world blows. The marriage means you have to commit to another person regardless of how things are going is too much.

[@misunderstoodkj]

Right?!

[@wokerthanwokez]

@@iamsalayayeah no

[@TheGoalisSublime]

People are so foolish.

[@jrudder100]

I also like how Ari actually said she has never really experienced a marriage or saw it, and that's what formed her opinion

[@misunderstoodkj]

Right. It's the accountability for me.

[@KeishaRose]

That's not what formed her opinion she don't want whoever she married to take her money and everything she worked for if they divorce she said this in her cooking show as well

[@moee_thyself]

@@KeishaRoseshe’s a scammer so marriage won’t change what’s coming

[@TheGoalisSublime]

I'm pretty sure she never saw anyone in her family become a millionaire by being influencer because it was never a thing but that didn't stop her from being one. That logic is so flawed

[@TheLovelyAyo]

That was deflection at it’s best. She moved the goal post each time she was met with logic.

[@kimbrown8882]

My God Monica.....You are speaking with power and conviction!!!... THANK YOU

[@teejaylarkett4709]

This just solidifies that women in Monica’s era are built way different from the women today!

[@candiscompass3620]

TRUTH!!

[@irenernfuturemsn7689]

We are different lol

[@BIGREDD9305]

The two women on the end are from her era as well

[@misunderstoodkj]

Yep! Monica’s era = my era

[@cw2424]

Factz all day

[@Lifeasaneeka]

Monica teach these young girls some real stuff ❤❤❤

[@pamelajackson8311]

Thank you in the comments teach them something especially Ari never cared for her ( period) I don't have cable anymore I use to watch sista all the time thinking about getting not again I'm a bog sports fan & when I saw Tyler put ari on something I said hell no. Don't care for her💯

[@sallyhemings2295]

Yet she couldn’t make her marriage work.

[@SabrinaChavers-fy5dn]

Exactly!!!

[@Kimberly-vc4lo]

​@@sallyhemings2295 he committed adultery, which is grounds for divorce.

[@sallyhemings2295]

@@Kimberly-vc4lo what about forgiveness?

[@csb734]

Monica is real secure, confident, down to earth WOMAN!!

[@TheAniyaMarie]

I hope Ari & Monica maintain contact. I think she needs that role model in her life 💜

[@valeo3508]

Yes Ari was so laid back and open to receive constructive criticism in a better light, love this for her and all the women who can sit and learn from one another ❤ This is what we need more in our community

[@SOFULLSheka]

Thank You Monica!!! Somebody got some wisdom. Not only that but for those of us who want to be in alignment with God, we are to obey the laws of the land and that requires paperwork😂

[@CookieC23]

Amen!!!

[@PaigeKyera]

It seems like these ladies' main concern is protecting themselves within their union. They are trying to do better than the women that came before them. Thank goodness for Monica teaching them how to protect themselves within a marriage. Marriage gets such a bad rep but, done the right way, it is one of the most beautiful things this life has to offer.

[@xonae6547]

There’s really no “right way” though. There’s no 1 rule or path that you can take that will guarantee a successful marriage. You just take the chance and hope for the best and that’s what scares people.

[@PaigeKyera]

@@xonae6547 yes I completely agree.

[@celxb]

This just made me LOVE Monica, wow. The wisdom and the way she broke it down to the younger ladies was so informative & done out of love! THIS is what the next generation needs.

[@coolchris8900]

Monica is God sent speaking REAL knowledge to younger women. Made my gain so much respect for her.

[@tiptoe3836]

It’s not just younger women, older women also.

[@momuhammad-cf1el]

See...this is why I LOVEEEE Monica !! Also if you notice - the unmarried people think 1 way and the married/ previously married- feel another way! I HATE that men come in and brainwash the "Ari's" of the World. Simply put... Alot of these women say they don't want to marry.. now what they won't tell you is... they don't want it because the man has already told them NOOOO to marriage - they ain't getting married and here come these women thinking they getting some extra cool points (or so they think) with these men!!! THROW THEY WHOLE MENTALITY AWAYYYYYY 🙄

[@KyraKennedyHughes]

Ari says that because I’m her case her man has 9 kids and she would also be legally financially responsible for his child support. She mentioned that before she wanted to be married but don’t want the financial burden of it all due to his many kids.

[@calayshia.leteceee]

I was just about to say that . just like Caresha with Diddy

[@BIGREDD9305]

Or I know women who’ve gotten engaged but get cheated on so bad they settle for bf gf

[@misunderstoodkj]

Exactly

[@Naiki29]

Factssssssssssssssss! They say they don’t want to get married because they know the kind of men they deal with don’t want to get or be married.

[@jacqueenisrael6901]

IF YOU HAVE A UNEQUALLY YOKE MARRIAGE. YOU GET A WORLDLY MARRIAGE. IF YOU EQUALLY YOKE IN GOD. YOU WILL GET A GODLY MARRIAGE🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

[@mimimaneuver5797]

Monica is not with the foolishness. Thank God for her in the room.

[@BeLynn89]

All I know is after getting married, blessings have been abundant in our household than when we were "shacking up". Not just financially...but emotionally, physically and spiritually. It's not always easy but everyday is worth it. God has blessed our union after we made it right by the law of the land.

[@kaderkash5207]

That's beautiful God bless you both

[@vanessavazquez5167]

🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@oneindadome4]

Rather be a wife than a BM anyday . There’s honor in marriage… it’s a different respect when a man or woman say this is my husband or wife ….

[@Jade-kz3jb]

I came across a story of a woman who said her longtime boyfriend and father of kids needed an emergency surgery that only a specific hospital, far away, could give him. he was flown by helicopter. Only 1 family member was allowed to go with him but they legally weren’t family. his mother ended up being first choice, but it would have been his wife. If he had one.

[@cuzzitsmee]

They don’t understand that part! When my kids father passed away they only got benefits for my kids I didn’t get anything and I put up with a lot! And was basically playing house wife without a ring. I will never do that again. These women better wake up.

[@moee_thyself]

I honestly think that some people don’t wanna get married, because they know the type of person that they’re going to pick is not going to give them the happy marriage that they want, so they would rather stay with the same toxic person, but not get married, so they can delude themselves into thinking that wasting their time with this wrong person is worth it. Because if you really thought that you would be a good wife, and you would pick a good husband, that would be your goal. But if you know that most men are not gonna respect you or be loyal to you because you’re half naked all the time and you sleep around yourself and you probably don’t have a good reputation or a good head on your shoulders then you would lie to yourself and tell yourself that YOU are choosing to stay uncommitted. When really, nobody wants to keep you forever

[@Naiki29]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@TheLovelyAyo]

In other words, if you’re not a wife just say that . 👏🏾

[@barbaraevans2446]

This is real talk. They are blessed to have a friend that have insight on relationship and marriage circumstances. That piece of paper is very important, you better believe that.

[@marietoussaint2802]

Love you Monica💕🙏🏾.....so insightful!!!

[@pamelajackson8311]

All respect for Monica 💯 tyler perry could of left ARi fletcher some where no a fan never have 👎

[@Dgivan09]

Monica is the Aunt, Big Sister, Best Friend that all women need! Giving real unbiased advice backed by receipts of real life experiences. She said I ain’t feeling the spiritual marriage but I’ll support you, instead of saying yeah girl Iktr knowing she doesn’t believe in it. This is what I am my sisters keeper should look like ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@kimbrown8882]

Thank You Monica for sharing wisdom with us

[@alwaysme6456]

Thanks Monica….they needed that!🫣🧐🥴❤️

[@Faith_Walker_]

I’m in here like 🗣️talk👏🏾that👏🏾talk👏🏾Monica👏🏾. A lot people don’t understand that you don’t have no say so when you’re not married. They will contact the mother/father/kids to make immediate decisions before you.

[@user-pi2st1un5k]

Ari first … who gone marry you 🙄 Bagg is a serial cheater and you fall for the bait with cars and jewelry.

[@Jay-vw5ch]

not serial cheater 😭😭

[@misslolmomo]

🤣💀

[@trealb1]

​@Jay-vw5ch yes a serial. I am from his city and personally know who he is flying out

[@Suckmycockiness8799]

So because he is how he is means she will never find a man to marry her ok.

[@dasiahb.7541]

@@Suckmycockiness8799not if she don’t get herself together..don’t act like it’s women out here that never found their soulmate for a reason !

[@tinablecherr]

Monica handled this well and I agree 100%. I can’t stand when people say “I don’t want to be married because of what I’ve grown up seeing.” First of all, most of us were young and only saw the bad parts not understanding what went on between the two parents to lead up to that bad moment or bad divorce. We were all still YOUNG. You’ll never know what a real marriage looks like walking into with a heart of fear that it’ll fail. Secondly, marriage comes from God. Most of these people are getting married without understanding the roles God wants men and women to play in a marriage. God tells man to never commit adultery and if that man/woman doesn’t have the fear of God in them, OF COURSE THEY GONE CHEAT!! If they cant be loyal to God.. how you expect them to be loyal to you? Vice versa goes for women too.

[@LakeishaYoung-jg9lk]

Agree

[@DDD-re6vl]

She showed her maturity with her divorce and her truth

[@haitianluv10]

And this is what im talking about these new age girls only want to have a baby with a man and dont think that having a baby is just as law binding as marriage is. All these young folks say they dont want the law in There business , but the real problem is deep down there scared to commit. Thank you Monica for speaking up!!

[@niissh5765]

Ari has no business trying to be in a relationship or having a child. She has to go do her research, learning and healing

[@Suckmycockiness8799]

That’s not for you to decide

[@misunderstoodkj]

Agree

[@frances-salt7382]

Did you listen to Ari said about her story, so you can’t say that because the man in her mom’s life treated her mom badly so what do you expect, research on what exactly, y’all be talking through your wnus🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Aa__aa374]

@@frances-salt7382she means therapy.

[@shamarlewis6918]

I be lost getting people say they don’t want to be married 😂 huh?

[@jasmineferguson97]

Marriage is not the end all. Stop shaming people for not wanting to married, it does not make her crazy she just has a difference of opinion

[@kind2423]

@@jasmineferguson97this is where the cycle continues on. What about her kids? Who will break the cycle? This generation doesn’t want to hear the truth

[@url0veang3l]

Monica spoke nothing but facts.

[@acenewb1e]

Monica is a GROWN woman, amongst little girls in this conversation

[@aprilforever215]

And THIS is why Monica will forever be my girl!! Just wise and beautiful. ❤

[@Tampashine]

I see we putting more on the law of the land and not God's law. Lets remember the slaves couldn't get a marriage license but God still honored those marriages. The commitment ceremony nooo. Just get married under God & keep your vows. With or without a license. The law of the land doesn't trump God. But Monica is right about putting your paperwork in order. Because I have seen where couples marry license and all and docs not in order & present wife fighting ex wife for something.. Marriage is more than a piece of 📜 paper

[@kristopherdavis2715]

Monica is just EVERYTHING!!! Wow!! They don’t make em like that no more! 🤌🏾🏆

[@sunshinebear94]

You don't want to be married legally but you want your spouse property, belongings etc when he/she passes.

[@robinferrell9906]

Momma Monica preach and teach

[@tia3369]

Yes Yes Monica Yes!!!!! When Iron Sharpens Iron!!! The true epitome of class and grace!!! A lot of times the things that you go through isn’t for, it’s to help someone else along later!!!!

[@Simplegirl5251]

Monica always has been smart and intelligent, since her younger days. Her mother raised her well. ❤❤❤

[@lonyaeloper613]

I love how Monica explained the commitment of marriage, & children. 🙏❤

[@NinaAngelina25]

Awwee!! I LOVED this!! You can tell that Ari is an empath and respects real wisdom. She was listening. I see a great auntie/neice relationship in the works. I need to see more of these!

[@janinewilson6740]

Just make sure that God is a part of the union...marriage is a covenant from Him. It is work, but when He is the head of your marriage...He will be a part of the marriage. His word says to follow the law of the land...so yes...legally and with legal agreements but premarital counseling from a spiritual perspective is needed too. As a community we need to put God back into the center of our families...❤

[@dianemccray718]

God is the glue that keeps marriage truly together anyway! The bible says "What "God" has joined together let no man put asunder" meaning to separate! A lot of these marriages were not joined together by God and people don't read their bibles to know that, and learn to put the work in or "how" to put the work in!

[@TheWinnie42]

Amen ! 🙌🏾

[@Therealriasavage]

Monica was speaking about a Godly marriage! Marriage also deals with the law! You can tell Ari was really listening! And I was too!

[@reneedavis1190]

Absolutely beautiful Monica. I just had the same conversation with someone. More of these conversations need to be had.

[@LakeishaYoung-jg9lk]

They really do

[@vsmith113]

Power of Attorney (POA) is more important than a marriage license. Make sure you get a POA just in case something happens medically or financially.

[@CeliniacForLife]

No! Marriage is just as, if not, more important as a POA. When you're legally married, you're the POA for each other by default.

[@vsmith113]

@@CeliniacForLife Not a debate. I’m married. I know what you are saying. It’s best to have a POA. What if you find out you’re the second wife on his death bed? 🤷🏽‍♀️ First wife taking everything.

[@amazinglyone10]

I get the POA. However, the moment one person gets in their feelings or mad, that POA can be changed without the person's knowledge, and here comes the drama

[@vsmith113]

@@amazinglyone10 Thank for sharing. It’s good to share our experiences.

[@beaute10221]

I literally was thinking this. U don't actually need a marriage certificate

[@truthspeaker1508]

Ari, and many women like her need GUIDANCE. they have never had anyone tell them the proper way to do things.

[@jair7327]

I’m so tired of this “we don’t have to go to the law “ stuff. It’s so weird to me. Marriage ain’t JUST about love but business as well. Glad Monica spoke some sense

[@karrionnsmith]

Seriously, marriage for the right reasons is super important, I can't get behind a "spiritual" marriage.

[@christinanicole5791]

Words spoken by a wise woman ❤

[@aneshaelizabeth]

This is why doing your research is important. You can have a commitment ceremony, just make sure your paperwork is in order. Write out all of your advance directives, if you want your partner to make decisions on your behalf, get that established. Do what makes YOU happy.

[@khandyss892]

You’re right. You should do what’s best for you. What’s the difference between trusting a person with your very life, money and assets with a marriage certificate vs. giving them some sort of beneficiary, executor rights or putting them in a will to make decisions, with a commitment ceremony? I think Monica is calling the “I don’t want the government in my business” a bluff. There are legalities for ANYTHING that holds value. The government is in all your business anyway. If that “go together” paperwork ain’t tight and right. Nobody’s making any decisions or getting anything and your stuff can be tied up in probate court for years. It happens all the time.

[@KeyaReneeMonroe]

Right I was about to say.. if your name is on the the documents needed to secure you at the end wtf you need to go to the courts for?? What Monica says is not entirely true.

[@Platinumcut26]

Loveee me some Monica

[@BelieverFirstwithSharonJoy]

You can tell they’re getting it too… this this beautiful. Good job Monica.

[@lisaf2551]

If she doing a spiritual marriage she might as well shack.

[@ChrisnathaTV]

It's hilarious how people are afraid to "put it on paper" but will buy property, have kids with someone without commitment. You'll find yourself with no real rights if you aren't a spouse. If it's not on paper, it's not official. If you want the benefits you should also accept the responsibilities

[@starhamilton1072]

Imagine being a baby mom to one guy and being scared to marry another that just doesn’t sit right in my head. I just don’t understand I’m 25 there are some smart young women out here y’all. I have no kids I want a husband.

[@alainawalker3583]

I love Monica just a little more that. ❤️ You better say again for the people in the back.

[@flblackbutterfly1]

That’s right Monica. School these silly heifers. Lol😂

[@cuzzitsmee]

I really dislike when people say they don’t want to get married because they don’t want the government in their relationship. The government is involved in your life for everything else…😒

[@judywhite4338]

This was a really good piece

[@SachaBeeXO]

If money bag popped the question, I’m almost certain Ari would jump for it. The way she was flashing her promise ring lol. She’s simply saying what she’s saying because she does not see marriage in her immediate future with her current partner. A lot of women would say “I don’t care if I get married” to help them to stop sitting around hoping and praying this generation of men is willing to actually make the commitment. It’s kinda of like a defense mechanism in a way. (Of course that doesn’t go for every woman. But there are a lot that rather say “I don’t to be married” vs “I can’t find a suitable partner who wants to make that lifetime commitment”🤷🏽‍♀️

[@Winniedemux]

All of this!💯 2yrs ago my Aunt was ranting and raving about how she wants to get married, Now because he doesn't believe in marriage she magically feels the same.🙄 Instead of DITCHING him and not settling, she just got in line and accepted it!😭✋🏾

[@lonitakia4535]

Why Ari keep thinking they going to call her if something happens 😑 Bby them ppl going to show u your position

[@maryellenevaburns]

I'm so glad Monica spoke on this they needed to hear it

[@shansmith7100]

Part of having the law in your marriage is because God wants us to truthfully acknowledge the process. He does not lie and because the law “requires” this to be acknowledged it’s what we should do, it’s telling the truth about your union.

[@jewelsjkm]

Monica, let them know. These women would feel horrible if their significant others parents had more control over decisions than them.

[@melonierivera3516]

School em sister.Spiritually means nothing legally 😊realtalk

[@Lifeafter_college]

I can get definitely get into a “spiritual” marriage… also you don’t need a marriage for protection you can literally write a series of contracts and have the same benefit….don’t push y’all marriage BS or religious BS on us it’s literally another type of contract not under GOD. So, you can just make separate contracts for different things. Monica kept saying “I want his last name”, sounds like she in it for something beyond a legal contract which is cool but that doesn’t not mean someone needs to get married.

[@mzbrown6969]

If someone wants to be problematic, they will be problematic with whatever piece of your life you give them.

[@iamthatsomebody]

I love Monica❤ She is dropping gems on these young ladies.

[@Blaqphnix]

Momma Monica said 🎶Before you walk outta my life...🎶 "sign this dotted line!"😂

[@chooselove4307]

They all had good advice for Ari. The thing for all women and men to remember is there is nothing wrong with a woman or man not wanting to be married or not wanting kids, but if you're going to bring children into this world at least do so in marriage. I don't understand the concept that the woman and man was good enough for you make a baby with, but not good enough for you to make your wife or husband. Also, the only thing I would disagree with Monica on is prenups are important in a marriage especially if you have a lot to lose. Monica was fortunate in her marriage and divorce, because she didn't marry a man who was after her success or money, but that's not the case for all women just look at what happened to Mary J. Blige, Sherri Shephard, Star Jones, and now Kenya Moore. Get a prenup don't go into a marriage with no protection, because the person you married may change in a divorce and she/he may seek revenge and try to take everything you got out of spite.

[@oyomapedro]

Monica reeled back the excesses of online inspiration like hold up girls Here’s what you need to do, here’s what you should do. Love to see it!

[@tiffanysabrinag]

Monica just a real woman and that’s why she’s so well received we love her!! ❤

[@wendytriumph9995]

Only Monica is realistic & has sense here

[@keshaskorner2883]

KJ Smith is over there sitting smiling , nodding, and agreeing with Ari and Crystal on the outside but inside saying Monica i know that RIGHT GIRL, i dont know what these two talking about😂!!!! I’m about to have a whole wedding with my handsome fiance.

[@EcleezyTheKing]

God I Love MONICA

[@xonae6547]

The thing is the main people advocating for marriage couldn’t even make their own marriage work or is sitting in a bad one just for the sake of having the title then they wonder why no one wants marriage. Look at the examples that they have

[@Tampashine]

Marriage license is the law of the land. But if you make a commitment a vow under God he will honor it with or w/o a license.

[@recobetts9740]

She need to be closer to God thin she will change value of thinking

[@JessicaYvette]

I thank goodness Monica was there to shed light and wisdom

[@MSBROWNSUGA96]

Monica dropped nothing but jewels. Love her.

[@tea_ba]

Lord black people are way too willing to give the commitment of a child to a man/woman but hold no standard towards a women/man when it comes to commitment. Monica is so right there are a hell of a lot of benefits to being married. Ari sounds naive and honestly shouldn’t even date seriously. Marriage is a reflection of the relationship you’ll have before you say “I do”. Marriage is what you make it and therapy exists for a reason. Your mama not having good relationships shouldn’t hold you back from that. Bc as adults you should be responsible enough to surround yourself with ppl you want to be like. What’s stopping any of us from having a relationship with ppl you admire when it come to the standard of marriage and relationships? You should hold yourself to a standard, if not for yourself do it for your child they always deserve better than you had in ALL ways. ❤

[@theedailyshannon]

Please stop with the “black people”. Any race does it. This isn’t a topic about race.

[@xoxo9354]

Monica is a scorpio nuff said❤❤❤

[@BelieverFirstwithSharonJoy]

Marriage protects you period.

[@GrowingGlowing87]

Teach the babies something Ms. Monicaaaaa!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@leeleekong5800]

They scared of lawfully being married bc the ones they choose to be with n be in they life that’s all that is. You gotta just be real n say I don’t want marriage at all bc I know the ones I choose to be wit ain’t marriage material.

[@JUSTTY333]

I loved watching this… you can tell Monica got alot of wisdom ❤😇💯💞

[@champagnes5898]

Before Monica stepped in this conversation was about to go left..lol

[@michaelacollins1649]

Listen. We can respect other people’s values and principles without being disrespectful! She does not have to want what y’all want Monica came from a place of education and love she didn’t ridicule or judge anybody

[@breannajones1561]

I’m 28 years old and in total agreement with Monica

[@montiqdavis1715]

Monica! Girl! Ask Tiger Woods about his so called CONTRACT!

[@twest37]

Yes Monica with the great advice. That why we need big sistas to give real advice.

[@birdiebanks]

Monica is on point ❤

[@sheilam-s3205]

Thank you.. Monica said it. Everyone needs to hear this.

[@aalford7184]

MONICA THAT’S REAL TALK 👏🏾🙏🏾

[@anneaugustin1155]

So glad they had Monica on this panel or discussion. The wisdom and clarity of experience is like no other ❤

[@doublem.kmasimbaashe1478]

Damn this Monica woman dropping gems like no other

[@vanessavazquez5167]

This just changed my entire perspective on marriage, thank you for the common sense Monica!