Ask Alane: HSP or ADHD?

A viewer asked this question: How do we separate HSP and ADHD? I get asked this question alot--Each time I answer a little bit differently, and since you keep asking, I'll keep answering from my family therapists and HSP consultant/ICHS lenses
It's an important question because when we are overwhelmed or "over-aroused" as we mental health folk like to say, it all looks the same.
It doesn't matter what we call it...
BUT it REALLY matters how we treat it. HSPs often do poorly on stimulants (think caffeine, awesome for a bit, but too much and WIRED HSPs can't settle down, sleep, focus, etc.)
SO, most HSPs should not be prescribed ADHD medications. Where do we go astray? Most therapists, psychologists, pediatricians, and other medical professionals were never taught about this trait of high sensitivity. AND they like problems that can be solved, aka fixed.
They want their patients to feel and function better. Sadly, this misdiagnosis often goes wrong for the HSP, especially the HSY, SENSITIVE YOUTH.
Please reach out to me for a consult before you put your HSY on the wrong meds.
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Meet Alane Freund, LMFT, International Consultant on High Sensitivity
alanefreund.com & areyouhighlysensitive.com
Alane Freund, MS, MA, is an International Consultant on High Sensitivity (ICHS) and family therapist who helps highly sensitive adults and youth focus on solutions through education, consultation, and speaking. She has developed numerous programs for highly sensitive people and clinicians, including her monthly workshops at Are You Highly Sensitive. She is known for her widely recognized Talk at Google, Understanding the Highly Sensitive Person. Alane Freund can be reached through her website, alanefreund.com.

[@cindyjakacki-null1244]

I totally disagree with what you're saying about adhd and HSP. Boy, are you minimizing ADHD. Saying that it's easily diagnosed and treated is naive, to say the least. AND, it is in DSMV, so you stating initially that it's not even a dx is a falsehood, especially when you discuss it later. There are HSPs who are both, including myself. Please be cautious about what you say and how you say it. Neither dx is "all or nothing," as you indicated throughout your video.

[@davisildiko]

Thank you Alane for this important video. It made me realise that I could make more effort to keep my nervous system less stimulated and therefore myself more focused ☺. I also appreciate this clarification as a counsellor specialising in working with highly sensitive people - will share it around for sure ❤

[@AreYouHighlySensitive]

Thank you! 💙 I think the more we share, the better everyone's lives will be.

[@christinamanucy8037]

Hi Alane, thank you for sharing this complex topic. I know 100% my mother is HSP and if you were to ask her, she would say I am HSP also. For example, I would talk unprompted for hours as a very young child asking questions about God and the meaning of life (when I was supposed to be going to bed), lol. I was diagnosed with ADD in school and even in “optimal” conditions I struggle with attention, and have the hyper focus ability that is associated with ADD. I’ve found ways of coping and managing in adulthood but I’m still learning and I’d like to know more about HSP and whether this trait is a bell curve or a yes/no, and if it’s possible to have HSP and also be diagnosed with a disorder like ADHD. I suspect yes to that last point as nothing is one-size-fits-all. Thank you again for your very thoughtful and thought provoking video. ❤

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

I think all caffeine does to me is raise my heart rate quite a bit, and when I have too much, it DOES feel like a panic attack! I have to remind myself I’ve just had chocolate lol! 😄

[@reedelisha2306]

Wow! For almsot a year ive been looking into ADHD-i, and totally was convinced i had it! Your caffeine question was great! If i have caffeine past 10 or 11am, i am not gonna be sleeping much that night. And if I have it on an empty stomach i get jittery. I think being a stay at home mom of 3 (soon to be 4!) aged 5 and under, and trying to start homeschooling has probably just been so overwhelming to my HSP self that ive started having all kinds of symptoms of ADHD

[@NelaDunato]

Actually I respond the same to caffeine, but stimulant medication helps me immensely (long-acting Concerta, I'm taking the lowest dose). Diagnosed ADHD-i as an adult. Do not discount ADHD because someone on KZbin said so. Get assessed by a knowledgeable professional. A lot of information presented here is patently incorrect. @russellbarkleyphd2023 is THE expert on ADHD and his videos might be much more helpful.

[@Joshreb1621]

Excellent talk How does one find other HSP in community

[@jennadanielescobar4440]

Caffeine makes me feel like I’m having an anxiety attack. I haven’t had any in years

[@sanamsi]

Here is what coffee does to me: taken a few sips in the morning, no matter what time of day, I get jittery, heart palpitations, stomach cramping and being up until next day 5 AM. Lol used to get horrible headaches, my doc figured out very smartly it was due to the mugs of black tea I had regularly. I still thinks I have adhd too. Otherwise why Vyvanse helped me gain my appetite. I know it’s exact opposite expected but it is what it is for me.

[@katriencornelis9730]

Caffeine = not a lot.Unless I consume like in VAST amounts, as in ridiculous amounts

[@KeremPARLAKGUMUS-uc4xb]

I am a 36 years old man who has Adult ADHD and HSP at the same time. I need help with the daily solutions and ADHD and HSP friendly and compatible environment. any solution or medicine or anything would be appreciated. thank you

[@IsakiKG]

You are very wrong. This video has so many totally incorrect claims.

[@slowlyworkingthingsout]

Agreed. I'm all for advocating for needs and accommodations of HSP, but do not shit on people suffering from ADHD to do it. We have enough on our plates.

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

9:00 yep. I relate to the screen thing whole heartedly. And I’m a young mind too lol I’m trying to get better about it.

[@williamgreene4834]

I can drink 3 or 4 cups of coffee in the evening and sleep fine. I do struggle with insomnia sometimes but caffeine seems to calm me. I guess that's a clue.

[@janelllorenz1787]

Thank you 🙏🏼 ❤

[@AreYouHighlySensitive]

You are so welcome

[@Staceylamar]

ADHD brain can get very hyper focused as well....

[@digitalcassette5]

Im sure I have both and no medical professional has actually helped me diagnose this. I'm mid 40s and had to push for adhd test from my dr. Breaks my heart how much of my life could of been different had anyone helped diagnose. But adhd is not as easily treatable just with medications. So many factors come into play. If we could live life to how we are wired that would be ideal but unfortunately social/ work/ school systems , culture does not adjust to people struggling with adhd. Add HSP to it.. I'm beyond exhausted.

[@robmcdonald8730]

I am in such a similar situation, 48 and my life has been a constant cycle of survival mode and extreme depression. Everyone around me blamed the ADHD and I just felt like a freak because no one understood it was so much more, not even myself. It's only now after hitting rock bottom in my psyche did I start to dig into what was actually wrong with me... Emotional HSP with high intellectual and empathetic tendencies coupled with CPTSD from a terrible childhood filled with trauma and abuse. And the list of associated disorders just grows from there and it is really very difficult not to think of all the lost time and all the destruction left in my wake that could have been avoided, because of course I will blame only myself when in reality, I was just so clueless and stuck in struggling to survive and then I just shut down.

[@jess.singswithleaves6]

I spent years thinking I was an HSP because I had all but two traits on her list. No. I'm autistic. Her book robbed me of years of effective accomodations, self-knowledge, and acceptance of my neuro type. I'm 38 and finally have the right information.

[@Chuarzita]

Im kinda more confused than before. Can a person have both? I drink coffee to be less tired in the morning try not to drink after lunch to be able to not get to bed too late, but it also happended that coffee made me tired. Today I think Ive adhd because I just seem to not be able to get my stuff done. I cant follow routines and just forget a lot of stuff all the time; which are signs of adhd.

[@OnTheSensitiveSide]

Now in my 30’s I was wondering for the first time if I might have ADD/ ADHD… this shines a good light on my question and makes me think that the answer is NO after all. I can focus in quite well when something or someone interests me. Thanks for this video 🙏🏽

[@thea8223]

People with ADHD can actually hyperfocus on things that they find interesting. The thing with ADHD is not simply a lack of attention/focus, but rather trouble regulating (or shifting) ones attention/focus. I recommend a video called "How to (Explain) ADHD" by "How to ADHD " here on KZbin for more info :) She also recently uploaded a video specifically about ADHD and hyperfocus.

[@MilouAT]

I agree with Thea. When you have ADHD, you can PERFECTLY focus on things you love and things that interest you. So what this woman says between 2.30-3.00, with all respect, is not true. I haven’t seen the rest of the video, maybe all of THAT is amazingly true and helpful :), but I have not continued watching since that statement in the beginning is certainly not true at all.

[@slowlyworkingthingsout]

This sentiment breaks my heart. Please, if you seriously believe you are facing challenges outside the scope of the average populations experience or you are struggling unnecessarily where others are not, then do yourself a favour and do more research than this video. Please don't feel criticised or belittled. Please feel that my tone of voice is warm and caring. I want to see you flourish. It scares me to think that people shy away from possibly life-changing treatments because they were led astray.

[@elainelouve]

​@@slowlyworkingthingsout very true, no HSP advocates ever seem to talk about hyperfocus. To me the concept was eye opening. I'm in my 40's and have been familiar with HSP since 2014, as it does seem very fitting in my case. But then I ran into info about hyperfocus. Now I'm researching ADHD and trying to "build a case" to present at the public healthcare. I already contacted the local ADHD association and their info has been immensely helpful. There's so many things in my life that can be explained by ADHD rather than HSP, though I guess it's possible to have both. Even random stuff like picking scabs when I'm stressed out or going to sleep (this is something I've done since childhood and it kind of makes me scared of getting a bacterial infection, so would be nice to find some help). Anyway I would have never thought of possibly having ADHD if I didn't learn about hyperfocus, as my life has never been in balance. Either I'm doing interesting stuff and ignoring all basic tasks, or I'm not doing what I like the most and instead keep the house clean etc. But then I also frequently forget to take my meds (asthma), have immense difficulties following routines for a long time period, and yeah, last time I had washed laundry in the machine for a week. Always rewashing it, then forgot it was there, then rewash first thing in the morning, forget about it, repeat. This has always just been thought of as a quirk, a funny personality trait, and working in an artistic field the hyperfocus is very easy to see as an intense flow. Which it might be, since I'm not diagnosed, but just last summer I fell into this "intense flow" around midsummer and forced myself out of it around the mid-late august.

[@melodystarlight7933]

When I was a kid my mom assumed that I was highly sensitive because my mom was herself and I acted similarly to her. I just wish she was alive when I got to know that I had add. She didn’t know why I could never focus and even when talking to her about serious topics that I cared about, my eyes would slowly drift away from her and to the bird outside of the window. She didn’t know why I was acting this way and constantly asked why I didn’t act like her but I didn’t know myself and the amount of times I’ve heard her say this to me is honestly concerning. “Why are you acting like this? I know you were in class! Why don’t you know anything from what they talked about? You just have to focus for 10 minutes and you’ll know what to do! You were SO focused when I taught you about chess when you were 3! I explained the entire thing ONE TIME and you immediately knew how to play but you have to read the instructions for finding out how many apples Johnny has at least 3 times before you get it and don’t remember anything your teachers say about English? You don’t even know how to say hello in English yet! Why don’t you act like me? I’d never act like this, why?” I’d always ask myself why if I couldn’t be special and highly sensitive and smarter than average like my mom, why couldn’t I at least be normal. I hated everything in my life but I also always knew that it was completely my fault since I forgot to do my homework, I didn’t pay attention to the history of potatoes, I didn’t know how to spell words in English, I didn’t get English grammar, I didn’t understand why your mothers mother and your fathers mother was both the word grandma in English. I didn’t understand why everything had to be so complicated and difficult. And how I could be so good at capturing the moment through drawing when I couldn’t capture a conversation in my own head. Seriously, if I’d gotten the diagnosis when I was way younger I wouldn’t have attempted suicide when I was 9! I wouldn’t have had panic attacks since I was 7! I wouldn’t have felt like the phrase “be yourself you’re perfect” applied to everyone except me. And my mom died thinking I was just lazy and I had to find her dead on the floor when I was 13. I’m still just 15 and still hate myself more than Adolf Hitler.

[@ljkoh20052000able]

Thank you for this. I was getting overwhelmed . Its enough to be retired at 60, an empty nester, HSP and with lots of childhood trauma.

[@8-468]

Ummm.. I'm an hsp and just now I started getting some wind down time but soon after I calmed my emotions down I started getting a bit overwhelmed with small sounds that didn't bother me before wind down time.. is this normal? PS I have a constant buzz when I hear something

[@DoofenSpyroDragon16]

I also have a question: so when I was younger I was diagnosed with a neurological developmental disorder since I was struggling some in math class and it takes me longer to process information in lists. Is there any differences between that and just being HSP? Have I been misdiagnosed this whole time? Please let me know!!

[@karenkuske5567]

Get jittery and can't sleep at night then...panicky with tons of anxiety.

[@DearProfessorRF]

Hi Alane. I’ll send my comments by email from your website “contact me” page to keep my story private. Awesome to have discovered your lectures and Yotube channel. It is all me like looking at a mirror, and it is liberating.

[@krissycus]

Thank you so much. I become so flustered, and often appear spacey or airheady. I mix up dates and times constantly, which just drives my husband crazy. He doesn't even have a planner book, but tends to remember appointments better than I do. I get so frustrated with myself. I know I'm not spacey, I'm just deeply processing and taking everything in.

[@karenkuske5567]

Screen time😩