[ASMR] Measuring You Up "Politely"

"“Heeded my words not, did you? Pass on what you have learned."
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[@ShawnTheDriver]

3:29 "Can I take a name?" "Fred." "What a horrible name."

[@fred8214]

Same here

[@JesusPerez-pe8vk]

XD

[@midlesslazer3230]

I said ‘Hope’

[@yaro42]

Ouuu BURN

[@nicoletteadams1398]

I said ‘No’

[@deorsumfluens3090]

Oh look it’s the same guy who roasted me in the wand shop...

[@SpicyDragonWings]

William Hyndman that's quite the euphemism

[@gavinc.7628]

After his hammer was destroyed, Thor had a hard time finding work.

[@Avavenger]

Mr. Piano Man 😂😂

[@Eli-sg5to]

At least his hair grew back

[@fred8214]

This left him pissed, leading him to insult all clients in every imaginable way

[@acedcs7800]

OMG yes I'm dieing

[@moshpitsandbongrips6998]

Mjolnir has a name

[@mbsw6266]

"Can I take a name? What a horrible name" 😂😂😂

[@VillaN629]

Stuck between pissing myself laughing and tingles. Very confusing experience... Subbed.

[@tiamurrell963]

Well said, it describes it perfectly when I watched this :D

[@nikiiannarone7149]

CommanderJavik same lmao 💯

[@KingSalemence3]

I swear either he gets bigger every video or his shirts get tighter.

[@randomlyaverage9181]

i bet he inflates himself every day with the sole purpose to demoralise us (jk, he's a lovely man)

[@madisoncatherine1587]

Randomly Average I think both...

[@Sh4dowFawx]

It’s the anchor arms! Now he’s a jerk, and everybody loves him!

[@Mofasho]

FoxFall LMAO yes this reference just made my night !

[@Apple-oi1kj]

Wait... Thor and HULK?

[@rachelbirtles1586]

This was hilarious. I just couldn't stop laughing. "We do have some extra large human beings try and squeze their way into here!"

[@recruityboiii4485]

Rachel Birtles huh never thought he'd remember me trying to get sized up for a suit hahah

[@zephyrsky__]

"Measuring You "Politely" Oh God, he's going to compare me to Jupiter

[@xoanastasia1103]

Jupiter is a beautiful and very lucky planet :)

[@TheCompleteMental]

ZUES

[@Gustavoenderdragon]

LOL

[@louis5668]

Is it because you're the largest gas giant in the solar system?

[@jayden-5180]

**Insert overused Thor comment**

[@TheCompleteMental]

I have seen none

[@dylangusto5672]

Hello there

[@AlabamaMayne]

TheCompleteMental Well then you are lost!!

[@sloppy_porridge]

Now this comment will become overused

[@ligertily9733]

well _someone_ is gonna get a bad review on yelp

[@matttheman3923]

Liger Tily had me laughing for fuckin days 😂😂😂

[@Modioman69]

Liger Tily f’ng LOLOL 😂💀

[@Speed001]

Yeah, me. I'm getting a bad review on Yelp. He's going on Yelp and giving me a bad review.

[@quintrell3896]

Blog about it! 😝

[@Joe.0511]

KAREN

[@man1ck3aton87]

It's Thor's cousin Roth, the God of snide remarks... -_- damn Asgardians

[@mellydropette2532]

Me: *sees the word “politely” in a Fred video* It’s a trap- IT’S A TRAP!

[@No-Name0087]

Oh god, I SHOULD'VE LISTEND!

[@bluesharkgaming3388]

Not wrong

[@brainwhitlach7396]

This isn’t same it’s Star Wars

[@manuela3876]

A read the “It’s a trap- IT’S A TRAP!” with Phoebe Buffay’s voice hahaha

[@leo_yeen]

It's a trap, send no reply

[@goldendreamer8578]

The real reason Thor wasn't in civil war.

Oh boy you know it ain't gonna be polite if says so in the title.

[@teresascoutify]

This guy could probably insult everything about me and destroy every ounce of my dignity and self esteem and I’d thank him for it

[@deffdefying4803]

He'd probably choke me to death with a headlock and I'd still be l i v i n g

[@No-Name0087]

Well the way he does it, it's hard to be mad at him.

[@leeannemarie75]

😂😂😂

[@queengoblin]

Interesting bit of personal information 🧐🤣

[@miss7182]

The insults are so sharp and elegant, it's hard to hate him ❤

[@TheCompleteMental]

"Dammit, fred, your hard to love, but your harder to hate."

[@punintended1206]

TheCompleteMental you're* you're*

[@TheCompleteMental]

Pun Intended Ok but do you have an actual worthy criticism

[@punintended1206]

TheCompleteMental any*

[@DracorusDracius]

I know, he does these ceative insults and I'm just smiling. It's so funny XD I just hope he is not like this irl 😂

[@aaylacruise]

Judge me by my size, do you?

[@willmartin6102]

PlayStation Fury no no only different in your mind size matters not look at me judge me by size do you

[@FredsVoice]

Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter

[@Jumping_fatty]

FredsVoice ASMR Fred has the higher ground

[@MtnAdew-dn1gx]

FredsVoice ASMR would you understand a megaman reference?

[@jakobhill6200]

Techviper56 i would

[@SEDresden]

1:16 "Yes, I can clearly see..." Well, I'm glad SOMEONE can!

[@randomlyaverage9181]

it's like both my contacts popped out simultaneously

[@KingDevyn]

Tailor: "I've have the same customer in here within two weeks, four times. Looks considerable like you..." Me: *drop of sweat rolls down the side of my face before soaking into my fake mustache*

[@archiehughes-west1343]

"I have good news for you my lord, war has begun"

[@matrisdrayke3314]

Archie Hughes - West is it a quite from some movie or something?

[@LossL3ss]

Matris Drayke Star Wars man

[@MythologyBeyond]

"Excellent. Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."

[@CorruptedEditz]

You have interfered with our affairs for the last time

[@apatheticallyconcerned6574]

Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!

[@MarnoASMR]

I’ll never believe you are rude with those kind af eyes

[@TheCompleteMental]

Very odd fellow, cant get a reading on him

[@hamsnadwich6767]

It's on and off

[@ryanbrown4053]

@@TheCompleteMental is that a Psych reference?

[@nk-wb1oe]

@@ryanbrown4053 probably not but I love psych

[@ryanbrown4053]

@@nk-wb1oe Come on, son

[@srahhh]

I looove the reluctant moments of actual sweetness; they really add to the overall vibe. Definitely my favorite REG video so far, and I've watched them all a ton of times.

[@pollyanavogas12]

Hello there Fred I’ll keeping asking for the Viking asmr ❤️ 😂

[@FredsVoice]

Each day is a step closer!

[@mariee8551]

FredsVoice ASMR I second her request haha Nice video 😊

[@markuskaranthus7182]

If possible, please include the tinkling of chainmail

[@wixdeerwater1927]

Pollyana Vogas this needs to be done.

[@asmrlysander4164]

Pollyana Vogas 🧔🏼Yes please! Only question is, will the viking be polite or rude? 😊🤨

[@tonicox4005]

Your bloopers video was funny, but... Every time there's a cut in the video, I imagine you yelling at airplanes wondering why they're even there when there are no air ports near you.

[@burnttoast656]

same

[@OfficialBritta]

“This is where I go to regions I rather wish that I wasn’t visiting.” I died. 😂😂

[@TheCompleteMental]

Kinda reminds me on my remarks of his establishment

[@illac3429]

Actually I came to get measured for my coffin thank you very much

[@acidic_soda]

BEST. COMMENT. EVER. 💜💜💜

[@OfficialBritta]

Sorry for being a “rude American customer” all the time and never remembering to make appointments but thanks for always taking care of me! 😘

[@ArticulateDesignASMR]

Same customer here 4 times in 2 weeks... Shit you've caught me :D

[@hamsnadwich6767]

Hello Mr. AD. I love your content!

[@idc4163]

"Politely" 😂😂😂

[@keithpierce5686]

the 4 dislikes are loki fake accounts holy shit 256 likes thank you😁

[@PORTATOREDILUCEIXVXI]

Keith Pierce 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@DementedBeats0914]

You mean lowkey?

[@keithpierce5686]

99Wrld no *just loki* (DDLC theme plays) o god what have I done

[@Theproclaimed]

Keith Pierce nope..... its captain america, iron man, Hawkeye and Black widow. They are pissed that he didnt pick a side

[@Nincubura]

Keith Pierce 40*

[@yGKeKe]

Honestly, I'm at the point where I've worked enough retail that I'd love to see Fred do a video where he just denies customers trying to return items. Especially shit they bought for Christmas, used and are now trying to return after Christmas.

[@Naughtystimpy]

Some of you have been enquiring about Master Fred's shirts and how he gets them so tight. I'm afraid none of you can wear shirts as tight as Master Fred. These are tailor made specially in-house and actually have a valve sewn in the back which you connect to a vacuum cleaner. It was the only way we found we could get the shirts tight enough and to his liking. Every morning when Master Fred gets ready, it takes a team of people and several minutes of suction before he can start his day.

[@larrymcjones]

Aren't you the Jarl of Whiterun?

[@deffdefying4803]

"Now if you don't mind I have a city to run" *_still sitting on his ass doing jack shit_*

[@ashleyhilbert9228]

LOL

[@UnKnownDeGen]

Larrymcjones I’m dead

[@rlineback2]

deffdefying dead

[@Modioman69]

Larrymcjones 2011 reference still relevant. First proper laugh I’ve had in a while. He really does sound like Ulfric.

[@theawesomeric]

“What a horrible name” Well geez sorry I didn’t pick my name

[@allonatabris8150]

The AwesomEric he says "what a lovely name"

[@Speed001]

"You could have changed your name to something better"

[@erinlacey7929]

The acting in this is really good. The way you warmed up to us as the measuring went along, very sweet.

[@TheBronzebabee]

I love how ‘polite’ you are. Every video you make just makes me laugh a little. And believe it or not I’m usually not much into the crinkles or writing sounds, I’m a reiki gal myself, but when you do the crinkles, it’s not so overpowering so I can listen just fine. Thanks.

[@Narutojinjuriken]

Every time he says "waltz in here" I'm like "Nah, I thought I'd samba". :3

[@mcdb7224]

You had me laughing so hard xD

[@cariec8130]

I would love to see you do a Masterpiece Theater script. Smoking jacket and all Lol!! With movie reviews (polite or not lol) or storytelling time. 😆 just some thoughts.

[@diogorodrigues10]

Carie H Movie reviews would be a fun video! Fred could mention his favourite films or even be sponsored by one... actually an amazing idea! ^-^

[@cariec8130]

Diogo Rodrigues thanks! He's got the voice and talent to pull it off too😊

[@Dabunniii]

Just when I thought I'd lost my ASMR. I watched this video and got hecka tingles on my scalp and neck! Not to mention I slept like a baby. Your voice is so soothing! Nice work, Fred 💖💖💖

[@pymgore]

ur videos just get better and better. the acting, audio quality and close and far thing on this is so great. was sending me to sleep right up until u said 'what a terrible name' and i started laughing - great video!

[@cjc9548]

When he first walked up it looked like he was going to uppercut me

[@No-Name0087]

Ross Washington I was waiting for it.

[@Brootnoot]

We would've deserved it

[@NovaAndCat]

"What a horrible name" 😂🤣😁

[@murilosilva7825]

dude, i have to thank you, your videos really caml me down when I need, and they also saved me from insomnia so many nights

[@jc3127]

Loving the changes in distance in this video. First ever asmr video I’ve seen do this

[@thebenvosper5947]

Oh shit thought i was going blind then, nearly booked me an appointment with specsavers

[@gooseberry5468]

The Ben Vosper Probably wouldn't have booked XD

[@poiur6045]

The Ben Vosper U didn’t fell the need to look at something else to assure that ur not blind

[@thebenvosper5947]

DJ Pug not i the slightest

[@jeromefromherz2538]

when you read politely you know its going to be rude af😂💪🏼

[@No-Name0087]

Jerome Fromherz I'm gonna be honest, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

[@tronfrog]

Nice acting. I love the far-away shot, it looked like the opening to a 1970's Italian giallo thriller. And I liked the in-and-out-of focus, it seemed like stylish cinematography to me.

[@MerryMutant]

“What a horrible name” 🤣 Laughter with my AMSR is just what I needed after working a hectic night shift!

[@gmatt107]

HI!!! Love your vids. Thank you for soooo many tingles : )

[@rebeccca98]

Yayy I can't wait to go too sleep and listen to this tonight!😊😊😊

[@ashleymiller795]

That's it... I'm hooked! I've never hit subscribe so fast! I caught myself smiling so hard watching this. 😊🤗

[@cjd3190]

Awesome, awesome video man. You should do more role plays like this. The role play along with the whispers always takes me out. You are my favorite ASMR artist right now.

[@ALIJOULHA]

dont stop this kind of videos plz❤

[@oak7490]

(Skips to random part) “Can I just pop a finger down there” EXCUSEMEWTFNOGETAWAY

[@kaileyb8942]

I have been on the search for a deep soothing male voice, finding this was more than I hoped for! Lol your voice gives me instant tingles 💓💓

[@oOoMRHoOo]

Always seem to find my way back to this video every evening as I try find something to watch 😂

[@khomugi]

Im the customer fred spoke about who came in four times in two weeks

[@bsferguson1]

khoshekh exe he just said that as I read your post

[@lukapolak1914]

Thor? Didnt you lose an eye?

[@facelessghoul-michaelsambe6663]

Hello my friend of Ghost hehe ;)

[@elijahlevine4438]

Lol

[@shrekcucumber4115]

The Dude he is more Thor than Thor himself😂

[@ysteintovsland3008]

Gah! Spoilers

[@Endon27]

What? He got better...

[@Mallturion]

This video is still one of my favourites. Funny yet relaxing!!

[@AnbuNinjaXIII]

This is one of my favorite videos of yours to be honest, I've watched it like a million times.

[@yeehaw779]

Him:"Don't touch me with those grubby hands of yours" Me:Talk dirty 2 me

[@bedtimesnacks7510]

“What a horrible name” I remember that from somewhere 😏

[@darkillusionx]

'Star Lord'

[@Jirito]

also from the rude librarian asmr

[@amazingturtle5075]

Jirito and the professor one

[@brianlitwin2303]

Part of my favorite ASMR series. I would love to visit this town myself. Perhaps a video on the history of the town from its ever so polite and friendly mayor?

[@treehouses5778]

I love how much effort is put into your videos.

[@haliemarie9534]

“politely” youre such a gift😭

[@xoanastasia1103]

Yes roast me

[@stephenblackwell8033]

I love it!!! Keep up the amazing work, your videos always stand out and are the best❤❤

[@Lennontristan]

"I've had the same customer here within 2 weeks. 4 times." * side-eye * "Strange." LMFAO!!! I love the snobbery and sass of this video. It's like you're saying the thoughts I have in my head while I'm at work, out loud! This is fantastic! Thank you, Fred, for making ASMR videos! They really help me a lot and your voice is very soothing to me. You're a really awesome person, in my opinion! Seems like you have a lot of different talents and your acting is on point! Good job, my dude!! Haha!

[@petergriffin1492]

Can we get a version of this but you're measuring a dummy? I've always wanted to see it from a 3rd person perspective

[@BigBoss24mgs]

i like that mouth sound he makes right before speaking, very relaxing

[@No-Name0087]

BigBoss24mgs a lot of people do that now that I think about it 🤔

[@tsunderegeek]

I mostly spend my time listening to asmr and I hardly explore other KZbin channels. I usually keep to my favorites but damn your voice made my tingles more tingly. You made me sub in one video. I'm glad you showed up in my recommended videos. :)

[@TheeAquilaJacquette]

I really appreciate all that you do for your videos. I truly enjoy them 😊

[@Z0mb13ta11ahase]

Fred have you thought of doing a collaboration with Another ASMR-tist with the rude English gentleman where the first half is him being rude and whatnot and then whoever you collab with can be the boss and get onto you and take over and be super kind, it would give tingles and a nice sence of justice given to the rude English gentleman.

[@TheGazeboMeister]

I watch a lot of asmr but your videos are the best

[@amandad8999]

This has to be one of my favourite videos of yours

[@RenoDarkwater]

Thank you so much for every video you give us. They're truly a gift as you are to the ASMR world. I appreciate how much effort and joy you imprint to your work to make such great, safe and calm environment. Greetings and a lot of love to you and all of your fans all the way from Mexico.

[@sunpi]

Pausing my life for 33 mins and 8 seconds

[@jakobhill6200]

sunsbookishgamesx every video😂

[@SURESH0T9292]

Jakob Hill yup she tries to plug her shitty gaming channel and ASMR channel (yes two separate channels) on every popular gaming and asmr video out there just to get the channel views. What a joke.

[@SURESH0T9292]

First Last Name lmao

[@shadowjester6669]

Sees title “politely” then sees thumbnail of mean face. Welp this is going to be fun

[@No-Name0087]

WENDY MARVELL he was quite..."pleasent".

[@jamesmaestro5390]

I find the rummage through the bag to be quite satisfying!

[@aaronwatt8590]

the black back drop is great to fall asleep to.. thx for the asmr!

[@Doctorfudge62]

"Can I take a name?" "Fred" "What a horrible name"

[@No-Name0087]

"Can I take a name?" Me: No Name "What a horrible name." Me:Aaaaand you can go f@ck yourself.

[@luvsus2161]

Good good use your rudeness let it flow as you measure me with all your "politeness"

[@AMoR0418]

I love when you chastise me for not making an appointment... 😂😂 this is amazing 💕 THANK YOU! Never ever making an appointment by the way.. 🙃

[@darthapovl]

Well never thought someone being rude to me would make me so calm and peaceful, great video

[@blowyourmindasmr5012]

When is going to be my suit ready? Hahahaa, amazing roleplay

[@tinalancaster3227]

FredsVoice ASMR I’ve never been here this early, finally my notifications are behaving themselves😂I warn u “polite” sir I’ve gained weight from the holidays, u may need to just throw a curtain over me and be done with it!🤣😆Love your videos so much, I was waiting because I needed a new video to fall asleep to. Thank u for never disappointing 😊💙

[@eliotgarcia21]

Is that your real last name

[@tinalancaster3227]

Jbooty Thank u, that’s kind of u.

[@kallum96]

I love the slight reverb effect on Fred's voice it sounds pretty sick like he's in a big room

[@khennigs]

Kallum96 2 sets of microphones spaced apart. Sounds so good 😍

[@thisismyhandle999]

With Fred you know you are in for a treat when the title says "politely" 😂😂😂

[@AnnaJD2]

Hahahaha “politely”!!btw do you and ASMR Darling own the same shop😭😭 loved it!!

[@natberni9392]

Anna JD oopooooooooooooooooooooopoooppoppoppppppppopooppopooopoppppppppooooppopoooooooooooooooopopooppoooooooopooooooooooooooooooopoopoooooopoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooopooooiooooooooooooooooooooopooopoopooooooopooooooooooopopooooooopooooooooooopoioiiiiopooiiopiooioiiiiipioiiioooooioooiioooiiooooiiiiiioioioooiioooooooioooi

[@autumnsprite]

Nat Berni what did you fall asleep on the keyboard

[@surperdurper]

No one likes darling, shes a feminist

[@maggi_mac4203]

Surper Durper no one asked for your opinion, it's irrelevant

[@surperdurper]

Maggi_ Mac my school taught me that women are irrelevant actually

[@Naughtystimpy]

Guys, gals and all inbetween - To celebrate Ally finally coming out of a coma and unboxing Master Fred's gifts, it has been decided that there shall be a special themed party on the royal grounds. The theme shall be Tarts, Ewoks and Stormtroopers. There are also two Yoda costumes available. Master Fred has ordered that he be a Tart and already has his costume. I will be going as one of the Ewoks and shall be the only one armed with a real bow and arrow - if you get hit by one of my arrows on the night, you will win a raffle prize. Attendance is mandatory - please proceed to Master Fred's room without delay to be measured up.

[@randomlyaverage9181]

i dont get a single damn thing you said but i love it

[@alexandrarenee4323]

I don't get tingles anymore which makes me sad but asmr calms me down so much and its entertaining so

[@jessicaseverns6578]

I think you would sound incredible doing a Beast from Beauty and the Beast roleplay, reading poetry or stories in his library. You have such a deep vocal tone, the proper accent AND the look. Anyway, always love your videos! Thank you for helping us all to relax

[@legalise.nuclearbombs]

Let me guess. I'm fat 😂

[@RebeccaPaige]

Say "By the power of greyskull!"

[@christina7991]

Love the sarcasm! Do more please! ❤this channel

[@mychalbackhaus4888]

2021 baby!!! Fred my favorite ASMR KZbinr of all time!!!

[@teddy2271]

Well, you gotta stop sulking about me not booking an appointment like how you came into my life uninvited

[@refridgeratordishwasher]

I never go anywhere unannounced so it is so weird for me to be lectured for doing so.

[@Speed001]

Yes, I always being 20 knights, 2 jesters, and a band with me so that I can make only the most announced of entrances.

[@aa3rams]

You just popped my tingle cherry and it was amazing!

[@sirg7679]

I love your channel Fred and you get me to sleep every night thank you so much and keep up the good work