ASMR Voice: There's no such thing as a bad cookie [M4F] [Baking Bad] [Cute/Funny]

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~~~
Written and recorded by CardlinAudio
Edited by Rhianna!
Graphic design by Blue! shyblueshadow....
Effects and mastering by: Nye Quill! / @theendisnye318
Cardlin drawn by: Osauese! / osauese
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[@omgeodude]

That's it! Effective immediately, I'm adopting this video as my new personal philosophy! May we all find within ourselves the capacity to Embrace the Trainwreck - the motivation to undertake new experiences, the confidence to forge ahead in the face of adversity, and the good grace to accept the results of our dastardly experimentations. 😂 Maybe I'm imagining it, but you always seem to give it your hilarious all for scripts you've personally written. I really like when they come along - they're such a treat! Thanks so much for all your hard work! 😁

[@brokenpieces5852]

omgeodude amen!

[@shaylee1014]

omgeodude I agree they are always so funny

[@ba8y.cak3z]

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[@klouise5432]

I love how he just skips anything he doesn’t have, like who needs sugar for cookies? Not Cardlin.

[@shaylee1014]

byuninie lol ikr

[@Marley6968]

I love the name and pic

[@Renyen76]

Bro that's just me cooking-

[@onicdavis343]

Well at least we know that they arent Sugar Cookies

[@kekebeloco]

“My baby cake sugar honey bunny butt machine” Aww🥺

[@JayAshBranAudioScripts]

“Is there a way to take the salt out of butter?” *SMACKS WITH CHANCLA*

[@kekebeloco]

JayAshBran AudioScripts *cackles in hispanic*

[@JayAshBranAudioScripts]

Kennedy Swan oh god this made me laugh way too damn hard

[@elo8275]

My mom : ay Dios mío give me the damn butter. Me : o-ok mom.. My mom : WHY YOU LOOK SAD YOU WANNA LOOK SAD ILL GIVE YOU A REASON TO BE SAD Me : ( forcing a smile ) yup cookies = happy

[@layanna8702]

IKR I was like that’s adorable but seriously **shakes head in flipino**

[@JayAshBranAudioScripts]

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!

[@crackerjack6247]

Cardlin: *is bad at cooking* me, a junior in level 3 cooking class: I'm about to end this man's whole career

[@asymond13]

I lost it when i read this!! I busted out almost crying I laughed so hard.

[@crackerjack6247]

@@asymond13 thank you

[@happeeishcookieez]

But how do you take salt outta salted butter 🤨

[@jem6578]

haley sis i’m on level 20 on papas cupcakeria BEAT THATT

[@beepusboop8678]

I want to help him...I AM SUFFERING BECAUSE OF MY KINDNESS

[@tjlebon5185]

I lost it at "baking soda... Is that like ginger ale?" LOOOOL

[@JunkySock69]

I cringed when he put soda in besides baking soda

[@tjlebon5185]

@@JunkySock69 same haha

[@hyunjinnsolos]

And the salt omg I am crying bc I bake for a living and I am cringing

[@natalie78na]

when he put the soda in, i was crying-

[@femalesatan970]

@@hyunjinnsolos hahahaha saaame

[@pame-3157]

Why is nobody talking about the "Baby-cake-sugar-honey-buddy-butt-machine"? Now you shall call me Baby-cake-sugar-honey-buddy-butt-machine always, thank you.

[@BrookeLamora]

This whole thing had me smiling like an idiot. Our Cardybear is adorable.

[@popstarprincess123]

itslamora108 yes

[@lenamyren3186]

SAME

[@Kirbzzz67]

Cardlin: *bad at cooking* Me: *level 100 on papas pizzeria* GET THE DOUGH READY

[@jaylaoliver6725]

RaveMasterUwU mood

[@Kathhuh]

Are u lik the god of papas pizzeria?!?!?!!? OH GOOD GOD TEACH ME

[@eijirokirishima8420]

Dang I got nothing compared to you how did you do it

[@bisquino8289]

I felt that

[@elizabethschuyler-hamilton7722]

Mee

[@teddybear3172]

“Whatever I’ll just put down paper towels” *jumps up* OMG STAHP U BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

[@yeetmahshireen3539]

If my future boyfriend doesn't call me Baby cakes I don't want him

[@rebalhamato6502]

Um yo said it wromg

[@katherinemancia3987]

I love pet names but in spanish you need to be really creative with that xD

[@yeetmahshireen3539]

@@katherinemancia3987 just get yourself a man that speaks English (I'm German... and trust me, German pet names are just straight up Ugly )

[@beepusboop8678]

If he doesn't bake/try to bake, make pillow forts, or call me a cute nickname like bunny he's not mine

[@katherinemancia3987]

@@yeetmahshireen3539 maybe you know, there are these cute pet names on books!! I make the mistake of choosing one for me and my ex, but i still love that books

[@dontchaithis]

“silicon,, don’t they use that for,, b o o b s” i-

[@deltasaves]

This audio is low key chaotic neutral and I'm LIVING!

[@opheliaorchid8966]

Me: makes some killer cookies Cardlin:"soda in the cookies" Me:*facepalm* Also i love that he wrote this script!

[@eijirokirishima8420]

Right when he put soda in the cookies I was like no you ruined it

[@fanhour646]

1:26 I don't know Why but the way he said 'who want some cookies?' Reminded me of 'who want lasagna?'. I laughed my butt off for a whole 3 minuits. I love cardlin so much XD

[@bonedaddy2319]

fan hour ME TOO

[@karathomas03]

fan hour same 😂

[@KillingLonliness]

Me toohsbdddhfbdisubf

[@nathanpanusky2531]

I said to myself "He's cultured too!" We stan a fellow cultured man.

[@takokoo]

“Lets see what we have hereEee- oHhhH noOoooO” STOP MAKING ME LAUGH. I CSNT BRESTHE 😭😭😂😂💀

[@Sagee69]

Taking salt out of butter- **snort** Oh lord have mercy on his soul-

[@risingrose7927]

Cardilan: "I thought you were binge watching your bad TV show" Me: FIRST OF ALL MY HERO ACIDAMIA IS A AWESOME SHOW AND 2 IT IS AN ANIME

[@rheeyamaharaj4263]

THATS WHAT I SAID!!

[@Lratio247]

I agree UwU

[@shebehere2452]

Olivia Tilton WE👏 STAN👏

[@jenniferolive5685]

Olivia Tilton - yassssss

[@chloepatti9734]

I'm laughing so hard! I literally thought the same exact thing. I was like, "It's not a bad show, it's My Hero Academia" so watch yourself. XD

[@rheeyamaharaj4263]

“In goes the....FRESCA!”

[@laurenrothbauer2557]

He said “masta-piece” like VideoGameDunkey. I can die happy now.

[@moonb30838]

Cardlin: [Not wanting my help] Me, a culinary student: Am I a joke to you?

[@WriterBear-ks2ht]

"Is there a way to take salt out of butter?" I couldn't stop laughing! I love it so much, your amazing Cardlin

[@takokoo]

HE SAID BUTT MACHINE- I CANT STOP LAUGHING 💀💀😭😭😂😂😂

[@xtina3569]

Cardlin: okay. So. 15 minutes. Whatever shall we do until then, hmm? 😏 Me: ... make sure the kitchen doesn't burn down? 😅

[@karathomas03]

Nobody: Cardlin referencing the lasagna vine: *WhO wAnTs LasAGnA*

[@SodaliteSushi]

4:06 Me: wait, no sTOP ITS TIME TO STOP LOL

[@vnight9474]

Me:please stop LOL

[@carinaetacarin9252]

Me:*dying*

[@robbie8998]

The name baby cakes is so cuteeeeee AHHHHHHHHH ;w;

[@elo8275]

Villain Deku the fucking cutest but these cookies are unchilled have actual soda and are on paper towels...i can already smell the house for the next two weeks smelling like shit due to smoke going everywhere because the cookies went to the bottom of the oven and burned

[@ShezuRivera]

This is the cutest and funniest audio I’ve heard in a while!

[@deltahex27]

Me, someone who has cooked chocolate cookies a myriad of times before: Aww! This is so sweet! Making cookies for me for a change. Cardlin: What’s baking soda? Me: Oh no, this is gonna be good! This one had me smiling like an idiot from beginning to end. Good job!

[@PepperGinGin]

You know, if I hadn't seen that you wrote this, I still would have guessed that it was you. Your personality really shines through in this one lol I hope you write more scripts from time to time because this was just a delight. Really freakin cute and funny ^_^

[@killerqueen6733]

So cardlin here trying to kill us with his amazing cooking technics 😂😂♡ Btw I love cardlin he makes me laugh so much

[@hyunjinnsolos]

When he said "who want some cookies" I was dying omg the meme "who want lasag- *falls*" omg

[@mztrish394]

died when i heard "large eggs?? ostrich eggs??" HAHAHAHA 😆😆😆😆 edit: wait.. did u say "pulso" or "puso" hHAHAHAHA dang XD

[@blackunicorn7028]

Pulso yon HAHAHAHAHA woop woop cardlin being a filipino 😂😂😂

[@mztrish394]

@@blackunicorn7028 ohh yea right, thanks HAHA

[@imnotmeanjustabitch6325]

I really thought it was puso 😂😂😂

[@WHYARETHERENOHANDLESAVALIABLE]

“It’s gone all BDSM on Me” *WHEEZE*

[@pennythebatdog]

Oh my gosh Cardlin! You’re absolutely adorable at trying to make cookies. However, the moment you put FRESCA in the batter I would have told you put everything down and dragged your cute self to the store get the right ingredients.

[@Eleanor.A.Stone.]

"If you boil it it goes away?" O.O... XD omg i lost it oooh gods you're too perfect

[@flishyfish922]

Not gonna lie, I was slightly disappointed that he knew what preheating the oven was. I thought he was gonna be like, "Preheat? I don't know what that is. I'm .... just gonna turn the oven on." *scoffs* "Preheating."

[@Misosoup04]

I thought Cardlin said "What the hell is a stand user?" Me: SONO CHI NO SADAME

[@Milo-th2bt]

"Is there a way to take the salt out of butter?" Sweetie...

[@yashsl_24]

*Cardlin making a mess in the cookie* Me: *laughs til i fall to the floor* Cardlin: what are we gonna do for 15 mins? Me: FoOd FiGhT Best video of 2020 xD PS. IM STILL LAUGHING

[@brokenpieces5852]

I’m dying! I’m laughing so hard! Cardlin wrote this?! Was this him actually making cookies?!

[@blubber9047]

This entire video is me laughing and saying no to everything that Cardlin is doing wrong. Love the video!

[@osaueseguobadia1860]

“Not to get political or anything, but wtf is baking soda”

[@edithg6983]

Here’s a tip don’t have your volume at full blast 😂🤦🏽‍♀️ learned that the hard way

[@yunuenhagane3495]

This new art is soooo good Sees that cardibear wrote it: YOU CAN BE KING AGAIN!!!!🎶 I love the butter question because I am that bad in baking

[@honxbee5481]

O H there goes my heart- I think it just ack- to cute-

[@hardcoreheaven4153]

Right off the bat when he started talking about trying to remove salt from salted butter, I knew this was gonna be good. His baking methods sound like the type of cooking methods I might've used before I started teaching myself how to cook XD

[@bullesweet]

Okay I'm at 5:08 and I had to pause (again) to breathe so I don't hyperventilate. I almost coughed up a lung after laughing too hard when the fresca was introdued. I think this audio might just kill me.

[@ariannekimm]

In Baking, always use Unsalted butter 👀😂

[@elizalynn]

Whaaat?! My favorite author?! Crazy. This was genuinely so good. Based on true events? I could believe you’d actually do this. This script had so many good one liners, and was recorded wonderfully. It had my laughing the whole time. I cant decide what was funnier, “Meme Big Boy” or “Damn girl”. Great work, C. You dabes.

[@CJ-bv6cs]

Omg Cardy wrote this!! This is adorable!!!

[@keithb.3955]

"This is getting all bdsm on me." CARDI-BEAR NO-

[@Vesperx_]

he k i n k y

[@elizabethschuyler-hamilton7722]

💀 Also 69 nice

[@quietloyalty1358]

This is PERFECT lmao i can almost see this trainwreck of a chef, and i love it.

[@daylightmoonlight5207]

I was choking on my laughter so hard lol and it made my smile so wide the whole time 😹😹😹😹😸🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣😆😆😆

[@cyclewithaspen]

Oh my goodness this is so adorable 🤣 I lost it at the fresca for the baking soda, thank you for the laughs Cardlin, this will help get me through the week.

[@shadowcat1691]

Cardlin: Him making the cookies while poorly following the recipe. Me and my chef instincts: *screaming internally*

[@blackwoodmanor916]

Baking 101: Do *NOT* do *ANYTHING* Cardi just did!

[@RaineGamer068]

My brain was just screaming “oh my god, he is so dumb!” Even though I know it is a script, my brain was dying laughing XD

[@DinoFiend]

Lol this is wonderful. So cute! Great job as always. Edit: This is why I don’t bake. Things are confusing.

[@heddalea6824]

I consider myself a hobby baker and this had me crying with laughter 😂😂

[@hitoshishinso450]

Omg this is just pure beauty this is just so cute lmaoo I lost it when he said "it went all bdsm on me" lmaoooo Lets all agree not to let cardin bake unsupervised and actully help him 😂😂

[@isabelheaney3977]

Cardlin: i can feel it in my gut Me: you're gonna feel it in your gut if you eat that

[@LadyOMyth]

Him: **Rambling about how "ridiculous" the recipe is.** . . . Wait. Why are you pulling up a chair? Me: Because this is hilarious and I want to see how it turns out. 😂😂😂😂😂

[@audradixon8286]

*him saying all these wonderful nicknames about me.* Me: what the heck did you do in the kitchen?

[@albedoswife4963]

As a girl who bakes with her mother very often, I was in tears from all the mistakes you were making 😂🍪🍩🍮

[@kristinekristine2980]

Welp RIP for us cause Carlin's cookies are goons make us go to the hospital and put him in the top 10 anime kitchen nightmares

[@lilyrosa640]

Watching this while making cookies, makes it even better :)

[@pame-3157]

I am WHEEZING.

[@melanielynch2331]

Same

[@Kai-rx4fp]

Hehe he said balls 😂 **I'm a junior in high school**

[@angelacook4645]

I always loved cardlin's asmr's because he's not only reading a script word for word but really expressing himself and is entertaining to listen to rather if it's relaxing,funny, serious, pleasurable, cute and just amazing. Honestly most asmr's I never listen to because I found them uncomfortable or weird for me but cardlin's feels right and I respect him and his content to just make us smile and laugh if we need that comfort if we're going through something. Just a wonderful guy and I appreciate your audios ♥️♥️😊

[@alyoehoe713]

“Is there a way to get salt out of butter?” Me: are you sure your old enough to be old?

[@tatumwinn7635]

I'm laughing wAy to hard at the silicon part 😂🤣😂🤣😂

[@JayAshBranAudioScripts]

Cardlin: “What’s baking soda?” Me: “A meme.”

[@elliottlikesbirbs290]

When he put in the soda I DIED 😂

[@elliottlikesbirbs290]

“Chill my bUtthole for 2 hours”

[@tatumwinn7635]

I think Cardlin finally proved that there is a such thing as a bad cookie

[@justsugar2035]

Omg this was sooo cute I was blushing and laughing my ass out at the same time😂♥️

[@yna480]

when he said " My Gut, My *PUSO* " that killed me.

[@vx_ginalee_xx7062]

You can't remove salt from butter😂😂😂 love your asmr❤

[@Squidish0.1]

As a person who loves cooking and baking. Hearing how much of a trainwreck this is going is making me die of laughter. The character your playing also sounds like he's never ever been in a kitchen before and I'm loving it.

[@nixxusrosewoods4393]

This sounds like my uncle trying to do something nice

[@michellec.blevins1250]

Well damn...he's a great voice actor AND HE READS MINDS!! this man is a double threat to our hearts,I honestly LOVE i repeat LOVE chocolate chip cookies!!

[@brokenpieces5852]

Salt bomb was literally me when I made cookies for the first time by myself.

[@sarahalmasry2193]

It will be so amazing if you Dub anime..because I always imagine you as an anime character🥰🥰, am I bad for my imagination ? or you're down with the idea ...that will be so dope if you consider it in the future😏😏

[@noram1725]

*wheeze* When I was little and I first started to bake, my philosophy was this: It probably won’t look great but it might taste great. I’ve had my fair share of mishaps in the kitchen, but I’ve learned how to make a variety of things :) Edit: Funny mishap, accidentaly poured oil down the drain and forgot to add an extra cup of flour in a recipe (forgot what it was)

[@CHERRISHLOVESTMNT]

8:08 Cardlin said Binging with Babish!! Ahhhh!!! I love the both of you sooo muchhh❤️❤️

[@LacyDunlap]

This had me laughing so much! Lol so cute!

[@asymond13]

Oh my god Cardlin you got me ROLLING im laughing so hard! You Have OUTDONE yourself in comicality (?is that even a word?) I love this. You write amazing funny stories. Now im off to mail you some fresh made cookies. Oh wait...i don't know where u live. Oh well! More cookies for me!! 😝😘

[@vampiremadness5833]

During this all I was doing was laughing and wanting to correct you the whole time. Haha XD. I love this. Hehe

[@verityromig2499]

Me making cookies while this goes on: 😂

[@carinaetacarin9252]

"No baking soda? Guess what we got here in the fridge. Actual soda. Boom. In the cookies." someone save this poor man's soul.

[@jessielorainne5623]

This was very sweet (despite all the salt 😋). Made me smile the entire time. I love baking cookies and it was fun to hear poor Cardlin practically get every step wrong! 😂

[@mellowcuddlekins]

I love your scripts in another level. They always shine through. Plus i would never traid someone this cute, sweet and funny like you with Gordon Ramsay. I can do the cooking and baking and never complain. I hope you always be happy and laugh a lot with your loved ones and family.

[@killerqueen6733]

Babycakes really now 😭😭😍

[@thebiggestdisappointment6743]

This made me happy I also loved the the oh no you said at the cookies 🍪

[@soulflowerstuff]

I’m watching this as I’m baking my own cookies, it’s so painful hearing the part with the soda but so hilarious at the same time! Baking is my ultimate comfort so it’s so nice hearing my comfort youtuber baking cookies alongside me 😊

[@kiersten.8]

“Damn girl that’s just plain devious” I was laughing this entire time through and this one- sent me to space

[@TheKoyn]

Oh, its so cute of him for trying but kick him out of the kitchen 😂 I don't like seeing food go to waste. The perfectionist in me would have hated to watch that adorable trainwreck. You can tell this was a C script because of the jokes and the stubbornness. It doesn't feel like he's doing a character, this just feels like him being his goofy self. The "chill my butthole for 2 hours right babe?" is gold 👌🏾

[@leeluvsuu]

I love when he almost cussed he made up word

[@LadyOMyth]

I took cooking classes growing up. Listening to this, I was laughing yet it also hurt my soul. 🤣🤣🤣

[@YelahsanedraC]

THIS PART SENT ME 0:00 - 13:34