I am sad for you. I loved a girl once and she left. I thought I could never love again and I did not want to be in love again because i experienced true love that most people never know and the pain was too much. It was easy for me until another girl came into my life. i knew I was falling in love and tried to stop because I did not want to be hurt again. This time the love I had was so strong I could not stop it ... and then she left me! I found her again and she said she loved me the same and would be with me but she abused and cheated and deceived me about everything. She did not know love and I think will never know what love is. She turned good memories into bad ones for her own selfish reasons.