Autism and Love

True love is rare. It's difficult for the average person to find it given the nature of human social interaction... but it's especially difficult for those who are biologically programmed to be socially awkward. This is especially true for people on the autism spectrum. When autistic people do find love (platonic, romantic or otherwise) they will do whatever they can to hold onto it. Unfortunately, this can lead to - sometimes - unpalatable behavior.
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Video on Autism and Romantic Love: • The Truth About Asperg...
#autism
#mentalhealth
#bellletstalk

[@c.c.a.s5005]

It's hard to say what love is,but you're clearly underestimating how much we love you.

[@kalypsodeepsea982]

So true!

[@gildonario]

True

[@pikpockett]

Some say to love someone is to deeply understand them. It really makes me appreciate the existence of other people on the spectrum.

[@maxderrat]

I love you, Aridoc. Don't you ever forget that.

[@damazywlodarczyk]

Because you wrote something on the internet? You did nothing.

[@jumpingSpiders]

That’s kinda explains why I always think everyone around me hates me but when I confront them about it they’re like “wtf are you talking about”

[@bjorn54114]

My dad is also a tall intimidating guy but he understood early, without telling me, that I wasn't typical and instead he defended the right to be different and warned me that no matter what I would do, some people would never like me and some others would. Thanks to him I live a good life... And his lessons about looking in the eyes when you talk to someone changed my glare into an intimidating soul laser haha

[@BassGal92]

That's a great father. When it was obvious I was different, my parents thought I would snap out of it and when I didn't, they forced me into therapy to fix me. Sadly, therapy does not work for me and I finally found out why this year: I was lacking an autism diagnosis that I finally got.

[@orbismworldbuilding8428]

Another person with intimidating soul lazers XD

[@MadMax22]

I need to turn my setting down to stun...

[@Gamelaha]

This is so me :D Having piercing blue eyes i have been told my gaze is very overwhelming for some

[@tenebrisregina4998]

"Convenient children are not necessarily healthy children." I don't remember where this quote is from but I was reminded of it. So many people assume well-behaved children are healthy and tend to neglect checking in to see if they're really doing ok because the kids aren't causing an outward problem.

[@chrizzel28]

When a KZbinr tells me to give a like, I ignore it every time. Besides you, man. Besides you. You are the only one I give that like almost every time.

[@WobblesandBean]

I need to hear this. It's been...difficult. I don't make friends easily, but I sure lose them easily. I know I'm awkward. I hate myself for it but I just can't seem to get better at this. I've already given up hope of finding love of any kind, at this point I'd just settle for a stable companionship 😞

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Same here. 😞👍

[@dylanbell268]

After a long battle with myself resulting in losing a person I genuinely loved, I am the same way. Maybe one day life will throw us a bone, but for now I’m not going to hold out hope.

[@Humbledone.]

@@dylanbell268same and I struggling to get over it. My neuro typical friends tell me it will take time. I think I'll feel dead inside forever. I'm sorry you're going through this too. My heart hurts all day .

[@dylanbell268]

@@Humbledone. it’ll get better friend, it did for me. Just hold on a little longer, and believe in yourself.

[@dylanbell268]

@@Humbledone. give yourself something to occupy your time. I’ve recently taken up playing Dungeons and Dragons, and spend most of my free time writing and coming up with stuff. It helps, it converts that negative thought process into positive change.

[@Jobe-13]

I’ve stopped trying to hide my autistic temperaments to people and try telling them that I am autistic by saying “I’m a bit slow” or “mentally handicapped”. That seems to give people a heads up and help them learn I’m autistic without me ever having to outright tell them at the risk of embarrassing myself and putting THEM in a moral dilemma at some point. Plus, it helps filter out the people who don’t actually want to be around me and make it easier for others to not wanna hang out with me too much if it makes them feel too awkward. I know it sounds messed up but I think it is necessary and it doesn’t make me feel bad.

[@dellper1]

Whatever works for you. I think you should tell them at some point if they want to be your friend. If they really care about you than it won't matter.

[@tnix80]

This has been a problem I've been thinking about. Thanks.

[@bluelight154]

Solid Snake in MGS1: Other people just complicate my life. I don’t like to get involved. Me: Yep.

[@jackass315]

yeah , very much same

[@solidsnake9898]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[@MidoseitoAkage]

@@solidsnake9898 Box is love. Box is live.

[@nopehere3467]

@@MidoseitoAkage Hell Yeah Mate You Get a Like

[@barbarianzg8826]

When you're so scared to be seen and want it so bad..i know I'm not alone but never felt alone so much..where's that box,gimme..

[@heavymetalfishingla]

Aspie here. It took me so many years to find the person I love. She works nights and it's tough sometimes. When she goes radio silent or does things out of the norm, it throws me off. And I have to fight my autistic demons of "I fucked up". It's tough, but I endure it. Because in the grand scheme, the little pain is worth the eternity of love

[@mr.freezie2909]

It's the worst. But I feel like now I'm adjusting to it way better.

[@heavymetalfishingla]

@@mr.freezie2909 In the words of Joe Dirt, we just gotta keep on keepin on

[@coltonfields6380]

Great video. I felt that when your "friends" of 7 years just left you behind. Shit hurts and shows you some parts of the world you never wanted to see.

[@ghuttsmckenzie4269]

I've honestly never had friends that long, I've always moved from place to place and never was able to properly integrate into the social cultures.

[@mariamalmuahiri7288]

Trying to hold myself from crying. It was the same for me, I struggled with autism for years and I did not know I was autistic until I had my child who was diagnosed with autism spectrum. I suffered so much my whole life with pleasing my friends and parents. Even trying to get close to my siblings and failed miserably. But today I know better, I value and love myself better. Me and my husband now are working very hard to bridge the gab for our daughter and make her feel loved and cared. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and facts! There are times where I thought suicide was sweeter then life because of my parents’ rejection, two weeks later I met my husband and we are living happily together for almost 6 years. I’m truly blessed el hamdallah.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

This one was pretty emotional for me, not gonna lie. 😢 Maybe that's why I've lost all of my friends! 😰 Maybe it's because they didn't wanna understand me, or maybe it's just because I didn't understand them. 😭

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Almost at 180k subs, getting pretty close! 🤗

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Almost at 190K now... 🙄🤭👍

[@wordsisnukes]

Max, your ability to speak clearly about your experiences is an immense gift. I sincerely believe you are delivering hope and relief to others on the spectrum.

[@Tommy-TwigFan]

Dude I feel you 100%, as a person with asperger I can say that this is everyday for us sadly...

[@jba2048]

Meeting my wife and becoming a father completely changed my life. I feel like that was the point my life really began.

[@cheetahluv210]

Last year I married my wife from Mexico who has two daughters and I wouldn’t trade them for the world

[@kalypsodeepsea982]

What a powerful message! When you said you too were deserted, it brought back painful memories. I too felt unloved and horrible. I grew to be resentful. I thought I was forced to hide who I was because people told me I was odd. But thanks to your videos, I stopped masking, I had something positive to hold on to when I thought the world was a bad place. Now, I am happier than ever. I have friends and family to support me, I am heading towards a meaningful career and I even met someone. Thank you for your support! Sending you mermaid magic! 🧜🏼‍♀️💙🌊💜🙏🏻

[@infamousXsniper055]

Those explanations for your father's struggle to accept you diagnosis are very revealing. People don't do bad things because they're evil. They usually do them because they've found some logical basis to justify themselves or they're just doing what is most convenient for themselves. While this maybe be a cynical way to view others, I've found it makes interactions with others much easier as long as I don't try to accuse people of thinking that way. Additionally, you know you've found someone special when they're willing to accept fault and inconvenience themself to help others. These are qualities everyone needs.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Agreed. 😊

[@jfridayhealth]

Uncannily similar to what I’ve been through. I didn’t find people that loved me for who I am for almost 40 years, but part of that was being scared to form attachments because of being hurt and not understanding why I couldn’t make friends - or why if I did, they’d ditch me. I recommend anyone who’s been through this to research attachment theory so that their pressing behavior doesn’t hinder a relationship. Thanks so much for this.

[@Funkifization]

Thank you for making this. I've been lonely my whole fucking life. I can see the way people react when I try to fit in with them. I have friends...people I care about. Only a few who really understand and accept me as I am. I went through a break-up recently...did not even last more than a month. She used me for sex, got what she came for, and left me at my lowest point knowing she could not be with an autist. A broken man at that. She didn't break my heart because it was already broken before I met her. Years of rejection have built up in my heart and a quiet rage sits inside me. A rage that no matter what I do nothing is going to change and that I will never be accepted for who I am. I could go on for awhile, but thank you for being so open about your autism. I can relate to all of it.

[@ggiswhatitis3460]

Big man. Don't care so much, if you view as her using you then flip it. You used her as well and move on. Don't hate yourself. Neurotypicals only reserve being flawd and forgiveness for them selves. Forgive yourself and find something your passionate about in life. If people come your way? Great! If not then who cares. Don't destroy yourself. You are full of potential and deserve to be content just like anyone. Did I make a mistake writing this? Probably. Do I care? No as long as (I) attained my objective behind this post it's all good.

[@Funkifization]

@@ggiswhatitis3460 thank you for writing this.

[@emanonymous]

to be autistic is to be lonely, so i adopted a kitten. he's resting in my lap as i watched this.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

😽

[@pikpockett]

These are things I still experience even after so many aspects of my life have improved. The moment I don’t feel like or don’t have the energy to mask my autistic traits, other people immediately lose interest in me. Its easy to ignore some days with so many of my close friends also having some type of nerodivergency but it still bothers me that many people say that they care about autistics but won’t bother with them if they can’t pretend to be normal

[@williambaldwin9487]

As far as I'm aware, I'm not on the autism spectrum. But I relate very strongly to the feeling of giving everything in you to please your father, and being devastated at the thought or experience of failure. It's very taxing on one's mental state, and even physical state as well in some cases. I'm very happy to hear that you and your father have gotten closer, and I'm honestly not sure if I want to be close with my father or not. I'm extremely thankful that I found your channel, and I can't wait to see what future content you bring. Much love

[@ifechimichael6006]

I dont want to ever fall in love because I'm scared of people betraying my trust and using me.

[@ghuttsmckenzie4269]

Same and it took years for me to become content with isolation.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

I don't even think that I can fall in love with anyone anymore. 😒

[@highbrednxtus]

As someone with schitzo affective disorder, I can relate. It's hard to have the energy to connect with people when you're dealing with so much other information.

[@Dogsineed]

Is that part bipolar and part schizophrenia? Has medication and therapy helped?

[@highbrednxtus]

@@Dogsineed yes, and yes it has! On 150 Lamatrogine, 100 Bupropin XL, and ability 10 mg and have finally started to get some relief. A lot calmer, chill, but not doped up or out of it at all. EDIT: Lam is a mood stabilizer Bupropin is an anti depressant Abilify is anti psychotic

[@jaspermcminnis5538]

I've have always wondered if I was autistic. I have a hard time socializing with people. Even with people I've known for years.

[@MudkipsAreEpicWin]

Its a pretty common thing. A lot of people have it to some degree nowadays. It's like an estimated 10% of young men.

[@alexiusgray3476]

This made me think about my own experience. A bit off-topic since I’m not officially on the spectrum. However, I didn’t have the most social upbringing due to being homeschooled. It naturally made me anxious about any relationship that I did have because each and every friendship that I made felt precious. Man, the anxiety that I used to have over what I said and did. Like what was mentioned in the video, I would really do anything to keep that relationship which lead to staying in some toxic ones. Similar circumstances but different cause. Just goes to show how our experiences shape us.

[@felixthinks351]

Mate I was diagnosed with autism when I was 15 and I constantly ponder the question of if my life would've been better had I got diagnosed a lot younger and I think it would have definitely been easier, I can only imagine what it would gave been like for you to get that diagnosis at 17, the radical shift in world view must have been very painful. I'm so sorry mate

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Got mine at 21 😞

[@SmackDabCola]

@@dlbyrd-gasca2730real sh*t 😭

[@Valdyr_Hrafn]

I cried because I felt so validated and understood thank you so much. I have been working so extremely hard on myself after a breakup and having my love of 5 years block me because of my shitty behaviour. I know I didn't have control on what happened then, but I do have control over not letting the factors that led to that breakdown simmer again and lead me into shitty behaviour again. I still struggle with rejection sensitivity, I have contact with that very trusted person and she forgave me. I'm afraid to press her again, and I hope I keep that control over my stimuli.

[@Humbledone.]

How long did you ruminate and torture yourself over your mistakes because mines going on a year and my heart hurts every day and I think of him all day every day . How are you feeling now?

[@SmackDabCola]

@@Humbledone. It really doesn’t get easy, but the best thing you can do for someone you love is to let them go, even though there may be a slight chance of rekindling, but keep your head up high and stand proud. Life may seem like a lot with so little time, but keep the best moments in your heart and smile.

[@peezy1942]

Has autism ever made anyone wanna live off grid?

[@maxderrat]

Yes.

[@Jobe-13]

I’m planning on doing that at some point.

[@jackass315]

hell to the yes !

[@WobblesandBean]

Yeah, but then I know I'd get lonely. It sucks. I crave human companionship yet am terrified of it at the same time.

[@steffiec5323]

Yes.

[@reznov119]

This video is amazing! I thank you for making these videos, it's nearly impossible to find videos like these that aren't from doctors who just don't understand the real issues because they don't live these issues.

[@mbraxt11]

Ironic that I was thinking about this just now. EDIT: I just finished watching this video, and what you described was near verbatim what ive experienced from my family and friends. Its the reason why I rarely fully trust anyone anymore

[@justajavajunky]

This was very helpful. I don't think I'm autistic but I feel like I'm close to it. Your videos and the way you explain them, clicks with me.

[@katherineryan7126]

I have autism (was diagnosed at 19), and a lot of what you said really resonated with me in this video, especially the part about not understanding why kids rebelled against their parents because I certainly didn’t. I don’t know that it was so much because I saw them as infallible as much as just how small I felt when they were mad at me. Because of this, I learned that it was pointless to argue with them and I just shut down when conflict arose. The most resistance I could ever summon was silence. This all came to a head a few months after my diagnosis. Thankfully, both of my parents accepted and supported me in my diagnosis, but it did take some time for them to adjust. One morning, I came downstairs looking for breakfast and found my mom waiting for me. I forget what it was exactly that started the confrontation, but whatever it was, my mom was pretty upset with me about it. I, meanwhile, was not totally awake yet, and even if I had been, as I said before, I didn’t usually deal well with these situations. So I shut down. Went quiet. And my mom snapped. She told me to stop curling in on myself, that I wasn’t broken, to defend myself. And I was totally bewildered. I wanted to say something, to ask what she wanted from me. Did she want me to fight with her? But I couldn’t. Literally, I couldn’t force the words out. So I stood there and took it in silence, like I always had. Finally, my mom turned away and I slunk off to eat my breakfast and lick my wounds. Thankfully, I was able to talk about it with my therapist and then with my mom. She apologized, said she was in the wrong, and we lay down some ground rules to make sure it didn’t happen again, like not ambushing me with things like that first thing in the morning. I think navigating my relationship with my parents, and my mom especially, has been one of the hardest things about adjusting to my diagnosis. But we worked through it, they understand me and my needs much better now, and I feel much more comfortable speaking up when something is bothering me. People are confusing, but the right ones are so worth it.

[@bobsbrain397]

I'm glad to hear you're more comfortable, thanks for sharing your experience

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Yes! Thanks! You told your story very well! 😊👍 (Especially considering, I personally sometimes have a hard time with reading stories.) 😉

[@katherineryan7126]

@@dlbyrd-gasca2730 Thank you! I'm a writer, so compliments like this mean a lot to me.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

@@katherineryan7126 Your welcome! Keep it up.👍

[@land3021]

Read the title and I already feel this ones gonna be a good one - especially given the fact that it’s related to autism and I’ve got autism.

[@overvampservant]

Thank you for the reassurance. I can't say how much your videos has helped me understand my boyfriend's Autism. Also, as a neurotically, I am starting to relate more and more with every video. Thank you

[@ScoutTrooperMan]

theses types of videos are the reason why i think max is one of the best you-tubers I've ever encountered on this platform, as another fellow autistic theses videos really touch me on a emotional level not only due to how well this type of video is made but from how i've experienced some of the things said in theses videos and how your advice's for theses types of problems are so wise(given your experience of course) and i gotta say if i ever do as content on youtube. you sure are gonna be one of my inspirations for it, overall max you're best and i wish for you to keep it up the good work king you're the best out of all youtubers i've found in youtube,

[@Fragrance-dark]

Great Video Man. Currently I'm trying out online dating due to covid and just wanting a good relationship with someone who appreciates me for who I am. I've had some really insightful conversations with some great people, but at the same time nothing's really clicked thus far and I've been getting a lot of rejections. As an autist it does make me break my self-confidence entirely at times as I try to think what I potentially did wrong. However at the same time I try to also remember that there's someone out there who will like me as the person I am, just like how friends and family have liked/loved me throughout the years. Your story is really relatable as I have tried to mask my autism and almost present myself as a completely different person during high school as I am still to a degree a pretty socially awkward person. It took me until the first year of uni to fully realise that being myself is why I have the friends I have and why my family has been so supportive of me. Keep up the good work max, your videos continue to inspire confidence.

[@Tabby3456]

I really like these vent videos, Keep up the good work max!

[@Roguejedi1911]

Man I really needed this. I’ve been struggling with this shit quite a bit lately

[@rukathekid7853]

You have a good heart and mind, my friend

[@AylienYu]

I had a tough time today and this made me feel better. Thank you

[@aran4241]

I honestly feel the pressing thing to an extent, it's honestly really hard to distinguish when people are actually being avoidant or are being genuine with you, the tools given to us by texting/socials where this is no emotional context makes it really easy for people to lie about things, and it doesn't help much when your already suspicious of peoples words if you're like me, and let doubt be a constant nagging feeling in the back of your mind

[@skyserpent14]

I'm trying not to get emotional at hearing the things I relate to, particularly about the extreme pain felt when disappointing someone you love (in my case, the single mother who raised me). I'm fast to make corrections on myself because I NEVER forget negative interactions and it's agonizing

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Nobody's perfect! 😄👍

[@fashashbar9631]

It's incredibly heartening to hear that you got a late diagnosis. I'm now 24 and still waiting, which only compunds my anxiety that I'm not ND and just bad at being a human.

[@arandaanimations6025]

Your videos are truly heart touching and I cried after watching this video. Max, as an autistic person I really relate to you struggling to not press on about whether another person is really a friend or not. One of my biggest struggles is giving my girlfriend the benefit of the doubt that it’s not my fault when she wants to be alone or when she’s sad. And she often is sad because she struggles with depression, not anything I’ve done. It takes emotional maturity to really give loved ones space and not take it personally. I’m glad you know this too and are spreading the word to fellow autistic people!

[@icephoenix1024]

I dont think Love is the real issue or problem... I mean some human need is to be loved by others i guess yes... but its more important to love yourself unconditionally. People not gonna like you for reasons that has nothing to do with you or with autism... It has more to do with them... With autism (yes i have it) i think we need more time and space for handling social interaction otherwise we can get to overwhelmed...

[@marocat4749]

So the being burned that much makes you emotional i mean more emotional and on guard i guess in , what if i ... . Could be that after a time , blame, ... gets to you. And any minority communities i guess. Good take that its self love and getting too much of not accepted for whatever. Pretty sure its far from an autism issue. Hugs.

[@divinetimingMi]

@@marocat4749 You are very wise:)

[@harryking_]

Another great video. Thank you Max!

[@lordofPockets]

Hope you never need the to feel like something in you need to be hide to recive love, stay awesome max!

[@pissgod666]

I love everything you do Max. Your opinions on games. Your videos on Autism. My daughter is on the spectrum and your videos give me a better perspective I feel. I dunno I just appreciate you

[@caffeinefather]

I really appreciate these kinds of videos. It gives me some insight into my own diagnosis and issues, so thank you

[@TheAIKnowledgeHub]

I noticed some of this in my family. When I was in HS I noticed that I was the only one calling some of my family and staying in touch. I figured out a test to see if they actually cared about me. I simply stopped contacting them. Like I wanted to see if and when they would call me, if they would put in the effort to making conversation with me, and so on. It's been about 15 or 20 years, and I still haven't heard anything from them outside of the few years about 5 years back when I broke the test. I found in reality they not only didn't care for me, but they actually hated me. When my sister said flat out lies about me, without any question to me or my parents they believed it. A year ago my sister moved back in because she has a drug and drinking problem that ended up with her being with 2 kids who did stuff to them. We asked my family to help us during this and the entire time we dealt with pure hate. To the point when I showed them a recording of some of the stuff like my sister in her drug filled episode knocking clocks off the wall and acting up. And even with me showing that as evidence as yes she does do these things and their actions on encouraging my sister to go against us causes this direct event. I got yelled at for recording the event, and was told I should be put into jail. All I wanted since I was a kid was a leave it to beaver life. Basically a family I could enjoy being around, a family that loved me and that I loved, and a simple life. On all fronts it seems like without extreme luck this won't happen. Sadly, I can directly blame my disability for most of my problems. Even with my family like it is, I can't do a lot because I'm disabled. I can't even join the military, and getting a decent job is pretty much impossible even with several degrees. If it wasn't for my disability, I might had been able to buy my way into that life or find someone to have the life I want with.

[@TheOakleysworld]

Thank you for sharing this. And in particular your relationships with your father is relatable to me and my own father. It's good to hear that there are similar experiences. I don't feel so alone

[@frost273]

You did a great job in self-reflecting. This video and thoughts in it were something that I needed today.

[@gortimustidditus]

This is fantastic- it really helps me understand an autistic loved one so much better. Thank you! I've shared it with others, and they feel the same . You've articulated things in such a way that essentially brought me some revelations. Came for the silent hill videos, stayed for the autism videos xD

[@thirtythreeteam]

You been following me? LOL great video, inspiring.

[@ZeroWiseman]

Recently had a friendship breakup and while I realize this person is incredibly fake, and tried not to make themself feel like a bad person... It still does hurt to know because for 15 years they pretended we were friends and things were good... it's just like, damn... It's like you said with how socializing is actually exhausting, and I'm grateful to the friends I have where I don't have to put up this "normal functioning" mask on for. I used to have pretty bad emotional breakdowns as a kid and it makes me realize how I was conditioned into "normal functioning" and I never got a diagnosis, as my parents literally didn't believe in mental disorders until my younger brothers were diagnosed... But I have gotten a lot of context looking back. Thank you for putting this video out, it really does help to know someone goes through this, and can articulate it how you do.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

Other people, and even my family used to think I was just crazy whenever I had my little breakdowns... Other people might still think that though. 😅👍

[@hexannethorium2644]

I am a bit late to the party, I guess, but I find your videos very helpful. I am neurotypical, but my boyfriend has autism, and he recommended this series. I wanted to know more about autism and gain a bit of insight so I can support him better. These videos are such great explanations to things I noticed but couldnt put into context. We discuss the videos when I watched them and I learn about his sensory triggers (is that the right word?) and other stimulations. Thanks for this great series!

[@cheetahluv210]

I make friends easily but developing close friends that stick around and spend time with me is difficult for me although when I was in Mexico it was easy to get people to spend time with me so it depends on your environment

[@adammagill8697]

I would say even people without autism have this problem I wouldn't beat yourself up about that. it's hard to find true close friends but when you do you'll know. Also if you can find one or two true close friends you're set buddy.

[@cheetahluv210]

@@adammagill8697 I do have a few friends and it’s great I also love dancing as well my wife loves to dance with me as well

[@adammagill8697]

@@cheetahluv210 that's lovely to here!

[@Techno-Universal]

I’ve always been extremely understanding while on the spectrum however I have always been the most understanding towards others on the spectrum due to how I would have a very good idea on exactly what they are experiencing! I have also been able to develop a filter for sensory input over time mentally so I don’t get overwhelmed easily but it can still get tired after a long period of time so I can still get overwhelmed in high sensory environments after a period of time depending on how overstimulating the environment is! :)

[@carmelosaurus7480]

I genuinely needed to hear this today and, I wanted to say thank you

[@connorlohse4097]

I really appreciate your commitment to being an educator on these topics, you do an excellent job of teaching to people on the outside.

[@tugger]

I love this video! Thank you

[@robertevans7003]

Love you Max. Your videos give me so much hope and I shudder at how I relate to almost everything you share on your channel. It's helping me so much to hear from other people who accept themselves as much as is possible. Keep it up. You deserve to be happy.

[@Frostttz]

I've been diagnosed for almost 20 years at this point and I've never been able to know how to describe or just understand these issues I had with Autism. I've recently been dealing with a problem related to this and I've been so afraid of like losing my friends I loved over it. Trying to fight against overthinking stuff where I just keep trying to rationalize if I'm the bad guy or not is difficult. Thank you so much for this video. It really helped me understand a lot.

[@Pebphiz]

Another fantastic and insightful video Max, thank you for making these!

[@wayfarerzen3393]

I've been going through exactly this, very badly, for the last few weeks to months. It's so, so hard to deal with.

[@eb8247]

I feel like a the bad guy because I ended my relationship of 4 years with my autistic partner. The thing is, that I have always love him for who he is, but we are so different, I'm an extrovert with adhd and so I can't really stand still much, I struggle a lot with any given structures and routines and I love being around people, my love language is touch and I think that my partner, the first years of our relationship was masking his needs a lot for me, I don't blame him, I understand, but slowly everything changed and I had to change in order to be with him, to the point where I don't recognize my self. He has clinical depression and I have tried my hardest to limit my life so that he has a calm enviroment, but is a constant battle with my self, a battle that I'm not winning, I can't share so many parts of my world with him and with time our interactions have become more and more scares and limited, he has tried in his own way as I have also, but I feel that nothing comes natural anymore, we are both so tired and I can't concentrate at work. He doesn't see us building any type of future, provably because of his depression. I want to build a future together and share some parts of life. With so much sadness I think that I'm a fish and he is Bird, and it doesn't matter how much we love each other, we can't find a place for both to call home.

[@gwyndolin1536]

Amen Brother, Amen.

[@cvoges12]

Subbed because you help me understand myself and my own autism. So much of what you say is so helpful

[@FireOutOfMonkeysHead]

I really love your videos they've really helped me explore my identity and got me out of some bad places thank you

[@benfrancois7856]

I have autism and addiction I have ADHD and many more mental disorders so I understand just how difficult it can be atleast in my situation that being socal is tough in certain situations and circumstances

[@PhantomLink16]

Just wanted to say Max, the story of your Dad sounds exactly like mine and I think it's neat how similar they sound in terms of personality. A lot (not all) of your experiences overall sound similar to mine as well. My Dad however, didn't express doubts about Autism being the reason for some of my behaviors though.

[@Shaythefey]

its really interesting that I found this. I also suffer from mental disorders which on occasions cause me to leave people without a notice. It's very hard for me to control as staying close to people for a prolonged amount of time puts me on the very edge of constant panic and meltdowns. I have a friend who has autism and maintaining a relationship with him is quite difficult as I don't want to hurt him with my distance. This video helped me realize how much I must be hurting him with my random sparks of absence. I'm not very sure on how to stop this but I'm willing to seek professional help now if it seriously can hurt someone around me like this. so thank you

[@D.IronsWorld]

People are complicated nothing is ever easy. I think you must first know and love yourself so you could then give this love to others. You can't give what you don't have and many ppl are kinda broken, not in faulty car way but in a imperfect, incomplete being kinda way. We all have our own description of happiness, but all ppl want basically the same things: love, stability, money, friends, health etc. So many ppl hate and make others miserable just because they are hurt and in pain, lost and depressed. But you can't always get what you want... You can't steal love and happiness it can only be given. For me it's like that. I have been lonely all my life but I'm helping others so they can be somewhat happy. I don't care about myself coz I know myself and my pain is my motivation. I don't even hope others will understand but it does not matter we all must work for better, brighter future and maybe one day someone help me in times of trouble. It's the duality of men. Love and hate, light and darkness, life and death... Some walk in light others in shadows but we can choose our own path and then just walk the walk. It's never easy but what can happen if you don't afraid of your own mortality? Just remember "Get busy living or get busy dying"...

[@moosecles2809]

Thanks, Max

[@TylerMcNamer]

Good video. Writing two books was my way to find acceptance. The only person that accepted me was Tyler McNamer.

[@JohnDoe-bm5lp]

I don't have autism but still find this video strangely comforting.

[@Hambalam]

i have autism and your videos helped me to really know this about myself for the first time, i'm 19 and i've struggled my whole life feeling like i don't fit into place with other people anyway i just wanted to say thank you so deeply from the bottom of my heart for being brave and talking about this stuff just so it might help someone else :)

[@daviddouglas7104]

Thank you for sharing, videos like this really give me more of a glimpse into the thoughts and feelings of my children. I have a son and possibly a daughter on the spectrum. As a father I was harsh with my son when he acted out and attacked people. In truth I was insecure and afraid for him as well. I was worried he would maybe have issues in the future if I didn't correct him in the present. This was weak reasoning and rather lazy. ABA really taught me a better way with positive reinforcement and I gave up all forms corporal punishment. I know your father loves you and just wants you to succeed in a very scary world, however perfect love drives away all fear. I look forward to more videos like this, thanks again.

[@vycing1]

Thank you Max for making these videos as a person who found out later on in life about my autism your videos have helped me understand my normality amongst people on the spectrum and has also helped my parter understand me a bit more. Thank you so much.

[@Lil_Tim_Also_Akvavi2]

A very giving new insight!

[@d.w.m.a.5897]

Engagement comment #33: explaining a joke is akin to dissecting a frog, you understand it now, but the frog's dead

[@gregorian1493]

I recognise so many of my own experiences in yours, I didn't know how much it had effected me until watching your content. Iv had a hard time over the last few years and your videos have helped me work through it. Thank you

[@undyingwolf]

I’ve done this before but it lead me to some greatness because I was able to better myself

[@naikou1633]

These videos are making me question if I'm autistic. I don't think I've ever been diagnosed with anything, but I can relate a lot to the description and experiences in these autism videos.

[@azechase6597]

I've known I've had autism. But I don't think I ever had my dad's respect and honestly, he doesn't have mine either. My father made me out to be some kind of maniac a lot of my life because of how I am.

[@bobsbrain397]

I'm so sorry :'( unaccepting parents are so common, it's unreal.

[@dlbyrd-gasca2730]

🥺👍

[@emmanuelprado]

This hits home really hard. I've found that I have some severe tendencies that were never addressed growing up and I just discovered it around my mid 20's. I always had this pressing behaviour that now I tend to avoid. I just discovered that I can say f it. I'm going to be me. I'll suffer still, but differently. It's mentally draining trying to be average all the time. I couldn't even perform decently at my jobs. It's quite weird. I'm glad I found your channel and your stuff. It feels very familiar me in many ways.

[@xxbabayagaxx1425]

I have bipolar disorder, and while I'm not on the spectrum, this video perfectly summarizes how I feel when relating to others. I appreciate you talking about such serious mental health topics, I'm going through a really tough time right now and it helps to hear someone who has very similar experiences. Hit the bell for this content, as well as your awesome (and almost one of a kind) gaming/philosophy/psychology videos -- they're fascinating and have really gotten me into topics like alchemy and Jungian philosophy. They've been great distractions to help me get through all of this. :)

[@duckman12569]

Don't see friend in 6 months Immediately upon catching up, throw down Autism

[@ConanTheLibrarian9287]

Thanks for the video Max! Also, we share similarities on the age of recognition of our Autistic tendencies! (Dx'd at 17.) And also plentiful relatable situations shared in this too.

[@aidanpysher2764]

I'm a bald 25 year old aspie Staff Sergeant in the Air Force, and I've lived in several different time zones in the past few years. Just finding *that* girl has been rough. Autism is a four-letter-word to the military types, and unless they understand on their own personal level - they'll never understand. I keep it to myself. I've been perpetually single for the past few years, besides a few Tinder flings, and it eats at me. I know I'm a decent looking guy, but I guess I've afraid from previous times where I've been devastated from past relationships.

[@Shiro1987]

Gosh, I rly needed to hear this right now! 💜 (got asberger) syncronisity? Lol..

[@pacielsadboycinefilo]

I used to be in a very hectic relationship with a girl who had her own issues, and I understood her and supported her, I tried my best to make her happy, but due to my asperger traits and a lack of understanding from her we just couldn't fix the problems we had. I wish I did better and all of that, and my depression a the time got so much worse. Now I'm dating someone I met online and so far she's the sweetest person I know, and I I feel so happy talking with her. I hope my ex is doing ok, that she gets better and is happy, she truly deserves it, but for me I can say I'm ok now, surrounded by people who love me and care for me :")

[@myuriaeldra9929]

You aren't broken, thus you don't need fixing. Autism, ADHD, and many other mental conditions doesn't necessarily mean your broken, just that you operate differently and struggle differently than others. We must end this flaw in perspective on mental and neurological conditions.

[@bobsbrain397]

🙌

[@fernandoorozco5968]

thank you

[@KibaSnowpaw]

One of my best frinds is Autism i been frinds with him since 2001 so thats 20 years now.

[@gilbond6443]

Not everybody desires love. All I wanted was help with my schooling growing up, I can't care less about being completely accepted. I hate myself every time I try and connect with others because the people who are around me, I don't ever like and the people I actually like are very few and far in between. Plus I avoid them like the plague. I can assert myself, just fine but I no longer see the reason to have an input in this country, I feel like my Life story got erased by "compassionate people" For a more appropriate trith/lie. Now I'm dead inside. Thanks.

[@ashleychristensen2442]

This is amazing, thank you so much!! I work with autistic kids and they are the most considerate and loving kiddos in the world! This gave me some insight about what they are struggling with internally. Btw, I found your channel through a Tool and Jung based video. That was a great video as well!!

[@firstnamesecondname8280]

Thank you for being able to put my brain into these videos. It means a lot more than you know. Thank you

[@kodybuffettwilson]

How are you able to determine which behaviours are stemming from autism and which are just a result of a lack of discipline? I ask because I can't tell the difference myself and I believe that my lack of discipline is playing a part regardless. Is there any formula you rely on to make this judgment call?

[@bobsbrain397]

There's the thing, when parents believe a child with autism should have discipline, they risk ignoring the fact that "disruptive" or common bad behaviour (Trouble interpretating rules/structure, unwillingness to accept change, repetetive, "annoying" actions) are incurable symptoms of autism. Instead of people with autism living out their whole lives having to feel like they're a square peg trying to fit into round hole, it may be more beneficial for everyone to accept people with autism for who they are, and teach that they're capable of living good lives.