Autism & Society: Bullying

[@robinfox4440]

When I was in high school I was told I was being bullied because of my own behaviours; that I basically brought it upon myself. I feel responsible for my own harassment, and I've retreated from society as a result.

[@turtleanton6539]

Same!

[@raven4090]

I remember a quote from mean adults when I was bullied: "If you put out signals that you don't want to belong, people will make sure you don't." We didn't put out signals that we didn't want to belong. Quite the opposite. And then they wonder why I've become a recluse...

[@celiathompson8801]

I’m still in highschool and I experience that

[@raven4090]

@@celiathompson8801 I'm sorry you're going through that.

[@samf.s.7731]

Dude I am 30 years old, and still am. I'm actually proud of myself for trying to make nice whenever sh!t hits the fan, because if I don't I'm gonna end up with so much enemies over the feeling that I'm condescending or think of myself as better than others because "I apparently come off that way". The other day someone, a while middle aged man, was mentioning how privileged he was by being able to quit college (After getting in, because he's able to pay for it of course!) and still get a career. Because why not right? Racial Privilege means "you're too smart for college"... I realized that having that argument got me to be labeled "condescending", even though I was pointing out the hypocrisy of racial injustice. Because as an immigrant with a freaking medical diploma equivalent and a master's degree I still get judged based on my race which these buffoons labeled as inferior. What's funnier is that I'm white too, and pretty sure this had nothing to do with my IQ. I am not smart because I'm white. It's probably more so the autism which makes me good at some stuff because I can hyperfixate on them, and of course terrible at others. I really am only angry at myself for inadvertantly causing discomfort for people who don't deserve it. Others can s$$k my metaphorical d!ck like this guy who's so privileged he quit college and got a career...and wants to be acknowledged as "smart and educated" over everyone else.... Because he's white and got a ton of privilege from it 🙄🙄🙄 I guess what I'm trying to say is, even though I'm more liable to screw up short term, in time I do learn when I messed up Vs when people are taking advantage... And there will be plenty who will take advantage. My autism, race, gender, and other factors do make me a sitting duck for plenty of horrible people.

[@Mondomeyer]

When you do defend yourself, you're seen as the aggressor and made to apologize to the ones attacking you. This is how life works.

[@Mondomeyer]

@@robertboyles1821 It's an NT's favorite activity, right alongside telling the rest of us how we should show more awareness and courtesy to the feelings of others.

[@H.E.M.]

Bro I hate that shit. It was always like that in school. I got into fights a lot and I would be the one to get moved around while the bully stays where his at. Then I’d have to start over in new classes with classmates I don’t know which in the end made me antisocial. What was the point of making friends when I’ll probably get in trouble again and then have my schedule switched again. That’s why I’m never having kids. Fuck this world unfortunately we’re god rejects. We should be given a free pass to enter heaven even if we sin or don’t believe because fuck this shit sometimes 😂

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

They're a bunch of Mafia thugs, a locust hive mind, a police force of dirty cops, trickster mercenaries, the lucky-bad type, a cooperative of malignant narcissists that have grown too big for the throne, users and abusers. I shed no tears for those "lost" in massacres and bombings

[@EbonyHoopGyal]

Crazy right? I'm like at the point where if I'm truly just such a shyt strain can't they stay away and just leave me alone?? Sucks being a blank woman they think I'm some weird clown here to entertain at the expense of my very soul so over it dudes.

[@DarkSentinel52]

it always happens when i fight back and im tired of it

[@pizzasteve5802]

we need to call bullying what it is: harassment, abuse, & threats.

[@kirbycobain1845]

The worst thing adults told me, repeatedly, almost every time, was "don't give them a reaction" So not only did I mask heavily in elementary school, I trained myself not to cry. Even as an adult I physically can't cry more than once a year at most. Never put the responsibility on the victim, under any circumstance. It's a one way ticket to CPTSD

[@thesincitymama]

THIS! And also, teachers would say “she needs to learn how to act right” as an excuse to NOT stop the bullies. Then they’d take the bullies aside where I could still hear them, and sympathize with them… cuz obviously everyone was inconvenienced by my presence but they should still “try to be nicer”

[@samf.s.7731]

Yeah that happened to me too. I was "molded" into being "reaction less". I think as an adult I could come off as rather cold and callous because of that. People didn't like me showing emotions growing up, especially my parents, and I was scared of what they'd do as punishment so yeah... Flat affect. As an adult I probably make people feel ... Like I'm a rock or something, until I have a meltdown and it all comes pouring out. This is really bad and I don't know how to undo it. 😞 Also, of course it hurts to be told I'm weird, it most certainly wasn't my intention to "be weird" and a lot of stuff came from masking... Which is dysfunctional because the behavior probably comes off the same way a porcelain mask comes off if someone was trying to pass it off as their real face.

[@JustAnotherPerson4U]

Exactlty! Happened to me. 'Just don't react.' What happens? They bully even harder to get a reaction. This is telling the victim to just endure it. I essentially did what you did and shut down in my final few years at school and got close to no one except one or two people. Then I got ghosted by a friend when I went to mexico for half a year. I went to college (ok, this isn't university for you americans. College in the uk is basically a higher education instution to do other forms of education that are either A-levels or non academic.) I went for 2 years and didn't really bother to make proper friends with anyone in the first year. Partially because half would drop out. And slowly in the second year I made friends. College was the place for people who wanted to do education as a second chance because we couldn't do as well in the mainstream for different reasons. College truly helped break down my walls a bit. I was no longer blamed for reactions or actively teased and wound up. It really helped lift the burden a bit. It was still there. But I found people who weren't shitty.

[@Tilly850]

yup. Me too.

[@Blackdiamondprod.]

Same

[@ceciliagutierrez6673]

People in power are never really going to do something to stop bullying. Bullying is essential for keeping the statu quo, they need it.

[@KismetHermitWelkin]

Tragic, but true. This is part of how human society weeds out the weak and unfit by its norms... much like how prey are devoured by predators in the wild.

[@keisi1574]

@@KismetHermitWelkin Wrong. Bullying is a weakness not a strength. Stop spreading nonsense.

[@KismetHermitWelkin]

@@keisi1574 I'm not exactly spreading anything; just a dead voice that tries to rationalize the hell I have lived heard in some form. If two beings or beasts were to compete for resources and one eliminates the other completely and conveniently, could the killed one be considered strong?

[@loveycat5474]

I did have one teacher in high school who stood up to bullies and it was stopped in my class. People in power do not have to stand with bullies. They can actually stop it.

[@alienjourney]

@@keisi1574 I agree with you " Bullying is a weakness not a strength. " Bullies are generally insecure people. I was a victim of bullying due to my autism which I didn’t know I had in high school and I used to be a bully. Let me just tell you that we bullies are insecure as fuck! Some bullies don't even know they're bullies and some do. BULLIES ARE PATHETIC PEOPLE who crave for power , just remember that! People who don't bully are confident within themselves , while bullies are not confident people. Bullies want power, praise , validation , etc. They put they’re victims down to make themselves feel better by pointing out other people's insecurities. And it’s pathetic, when you think about it. Why point out someone's insecurities when you can't even fix your own insecurities. And now do you understand why bullies are pathetic people? Why else would they bully ? Simple , to make themselves feel better. You have to understand that once you graduate from high school, they’ll realize how shitty of a person they are. Trust me, there’s so many people I would like to apologize to from elementary, middle, and high school. I didn’t know I was bullying people, I wasn’t aware. I only cared about myself. I didn’t mean to hurt they’re feelings. I was selfish. You have to find your own tribe of people so they won’t bully you. Join school activities / clubs and make tons of friends if possible. If you’re alone, they’ll bully you. Don’t stand alone!

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

"Unfortunately for the bully, their ambition far outweighs their talent or value to the group... so they are left with...intimidation and subterfuge." Brilliant

[@AlexandraGulkoHyman]

Im stealing this quote lmao so true

[@hab0272]

They dont know how to bring value to the group. That's why they try to increase their relative status by putting others down. It's just lack of vision and creativity. In my opinion.

[@sheridansherr8974]

Exactly!!!

[@raven4090]

I'm at the stage where I no longer trust anyone, because I can't tell the difference between someone I can trust and someone I shouldn't. I'm done being used.

[@raven4090]

@@GossipIsSlander That seems like good advice. Thank you!

[@dennisyoung4631]

Amen!

[@MykeWinters]

Ok, this struck a chord with me. This is how I feel too. I’m undiagnosed at the moment (male nearly 60) but I am on the adhd waiting list, but doing my own research, I’ve found that I’m both adhd and autistic. In my last relationship (12yrs) with an abusive narc who used psychological and physical abuse on me. I’ve also had childhood abuse off a family member and had bullying at school. Basically I’m damaged and will not trust anyone again, and if I was honest, I’d say I have difficulty in discerning peoples real intentions, usually when it’s too late. People are selfish and oblivious to our struggles, they expect us to conform to them

[@raven4090]

@@MykeWinters I'm sorry you went through all that, too. It's sad that the nicest people end up having to be afraid of the world. Trained from birth on to always be the giver. I sometimes wonder if somewhere there's a planet we were mistakenly not delivered to. Where everyone is kind and honest.

[@MykeWinters]

@@raven4090 oh, what a great reply, thank you. I hope you are alright, and things are going ok for you. Yes, we should have been on another planet inhabited by kind people, not here where it can be a very scary place. Understand the giver bit a as well, I am a people pleaser, no doubt you are too, or have been…give, give, give, and get exposed to takers, manipulators, narcs etc. I know not everyone is like it, but it does feel like it at times, or there’s the perception that is what’s happening. I have few friends and I’m always friendly to people, I just don’t let them (people) in any deeper where they can potentially hurt. God, I sound bitter, I’m not, just really sad and wish that people tried to understand, even a bit. I wish you the very best in your journey and I sincerely hope you will find kindness, compassion and peace. You deserve to be loved for who you are, one of the good people. Merry Christmas and wishing 2024 is your year 🎄🙂🙏☮️

[@BadEconomyOfficial]

So this one time, I was LITERALLY bullied for have Asperger’s/ Autism spectrum. I was told “You MUST’VE done something to deserve it! Something MUST’VE happened before!” Well AFTER trying to get help for it SEVERAL times, I had finally had enough. I vandalized his property, EVERYONE was in shock 😮. So I was charged for it, but court had MY side and the guy bullying me was CRYING 😭 SUPER hard and I just laughed at him, so did me, the mediator and my lawyer. My parents were all like “How COULD you do something like this! Why didn’t YOU speak 🗣️ up and self advocate for yourself when you COULD HAVE?” I just said, “I did! But YOU told me, ‘you MUST’VE done something to deserve it! Something MUST’VE happened before!’” They 👀 looked at me and said “Ok! We won’t say that anymore if you get bullied again!” We have got to start standing up for ourselves, because OTHER people won’t do it for us.

[@ZeCahli]

This is awesome ❤😂 all the best to you; and good on you for having the courage to stand up for yourself!

[@BadEconomyOfficial]

@@ZeCahli Thanks

[@dennisyoung4631]

Exactly. Bullies are rewarded when they go after us.

[@BadEconomyOfficial]

@@GossipIsSlander The Police 👮 were against me, court was for me, there was PLENTY of evidence of harassment from THE OTHER GUY.

[@BadEconomyOfficial]

@@GossipIsSlander They basically felt I was the bigger offender but court proved them wrong 😑

[@grassman5585]

Bullying completely destroyed my life. It's only recently I realized that autism was the cause of this mental torture. I had hundreds of bullies in my life in different times and different situations- school, university, the streets, neighbours, family, relatives, I wasn't spared anywhere. Thanks to the extreme bullying I have CPTSD and I had it for 8 years, it will probably never go away. I am literally in mental hell all the time and most people won't understand what this kind of pain feels like. The only thing that would make me feel better is if my tormentors got what they deserved, but sadly such things only happen in movies. From my experience, the worst ppl usually have the best lives 😢 my only hope is God and afterlife where these evil monsters will pay severely for their crimes

[@sksk-bd7yv]

My story, too. Living with C-PTSD is so, so painful. Living with this constant state of hate, fear, anxiety, rage, sorrow, confusion, shame, guilt, nightmares, stress, flashbacks, a complete inability to trust, a sense of spirit broken, scars, ill health, loss of opportunities, loss of income... Some day a Nobel prize in economy will be given to a scientist who proves exactly how much money bullying costs. Even as a completely emotionally detached CEO it should be obvious how much money is being lost by letting bullies roam freely. But to carry hate is to be a paria. It's completely impossible to explain the size of my hate against my tormentors. For the sake of my soul, I try very hard to process and forgive. But how can I rebuild what was never allowed to grow in the first place? Still, I choose to live. I choose forgiveness. Not because I care about my abusers, but because revenge only ever brings more pain into the world.

[@anomite121]

i am not too sure if i am autistic or not, but yeah my life is pretty hard too man, i hope it gets better for people like us

[@paulgavian90]

Same buddy, I wasn't perfect....then cops kept it going, they are as bad as the bullies

[@anon.decoding_card]

Hidden revenge is sweeter sometimes

[@MsShannruggles]

THIS IS *WHY* I STAY AS FAAAAR AWAY FROM *ALL* PEOPLE AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE!! ALSO THIS IS WHY I MUST MOVE AWAY FROM THESES AREAS WHERE I ONCE FOUND WAS SUITABLE 4 TEMPORARY & QUIET HOUSING & SHELTER BUT NOW IS TURNED INTO A LOUD DRUNKEN SLUM AREA BECAUSE THE HOTEL I WAS IN ALSO HOUSED THE *SAME* DRUNK BULLIES IN THE ROOM RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ME AND I HAD ALREADY PAID $2000 FOR THE MONTHLY ROOM IN CASH SO IM ALREADY OUT THE MONEY ANYWAY AND AM FORCED TO WAIT FOR MY PENSION MONEY TO COME IN AGAIN AT THE END OF THE MONTH, SO I CAN ESCAPE & LEAVE THIS HOTEL AND MOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE FAR AWAY FROM THIS HOTEL NOW HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A WRETCHED SLUM, FILLED UP WITH THESE KINDS OF DRUNKEN FOLKS WANDERING ABOUT & CROWDING THE SIDEWALKS AROUND THE HOTEL IN HUGE GROUPS AND THEY ARE REGULARLY THROWING PARTIES EVERY NIGHT HERE & TOSSING THEIR CASES OF BEER CANS AND TRASH EVERYWHERE WITH THEIR VEHICLES PARKED ALL OVER & BLOCKING ALL OF THE FIRE ESCAPE EXIT ROADS... I VE TOLD THE MANAGERS THAT RUN THIS PLACE BUT NOTHING GETS DONE NOR ENFORCED

[@thesincitymama]

My bullies never cared how I reacted because they weren’t really focused on me, they were performing for each other and competing with each other. Their objective wasn’t a goal to affect me - but rather to be the funniest most amusing performer for their peers.

[@FraktalPriest]

That's why sports days were the worst, I was just another sport and with all that extra activity going on I never knew what was going to happen, or when, where or by whom.

[@myworldautistic670]

You are the only one who really gets it. We are not responsible for being abused or for having to solve the issue.

[@lorenzmenke3121]

Every bully that I beat the crap out of never bothered me again. Worked every time. When you can show then no mercy and no quarter!

[@RaunienTheFirst]

Same. All the official channels either achieved nothing or made the problem worse. It only improved when I followed my dad's advice and responded to violence with violence, although of course I ended up being punished for defending myself. School was a stressful time.

[@Stoogie]

True that is the best answer, however most victims have late puberty as well or are super skinny, so imagine a 10-11 year old 100lb 5 foot boy trying to take on a 80kg 6 foot guy, it is very difficult, still is best to fight anyway and lose and keep repeating it over and over@@RaunienTheFirst

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

Hahaha! That's the spirit! Do to your foes what the Soviets did to the Third Reich!

[@anon.decoding_card]

This. Not giving same treat but dire domination.

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

Yes the bullying never ends and they don’t like it when you give them a taste of their own medicine

[@thiscorrosion900]

There's also the problem of resorting to violence. If you dispatch some bullies in middle school or HS, you might get away with it and it might stop it, but most bullies look for weaker victims etc., and people who are not violent and aren't capable, etc. As far as physical bullying is concerned. And even if you take a baseball bat to the bully and fuck him up bad, or her, you risk going to prison for GBH or whatever, esp. as an adult, so you cannot win that game. I don't recommend violence, but in school sometimes it's the only way to nullify a really bad bully. I wish I'd known that in schooldays. Later in HS I took to carrying knives and throwing stars and kung fu weapons every day. I was like ready for war, every day. I still do. As long as it's legal, I carry it. You'll never see me carry a gun however, because it's just plain stupid. My mentality is like a Ronin or rogue Samurai! Hehe. I'm for myself. I had workdplace bullies and bosses too, some of whom were even sicker and more psychotic and insane than the school bullies from the 70s and 80s, maybe because they were bullied too or something, I have no idea. I honestly don't care. I don't make excuses for bullies. Also no parents are going to coach their kids about how to handle bullies. My parents were too busy fighting and then divorcing when I was starting to be bullied in school, and from neighborhood kids I knew, etc. My dad would just yell scream and bluster, had no patience for anything, and would sometimes verbally abuse and bully me, too, but not often. Around age 10-12 for me, in the 1970s and 80s. Nobody is going to prepare you for the bullies. Schools don't give a shit. It's unbelievable. But I've also had bullies later in life adult life, workplace, etc. Now I just carry weapons and pray I don't ever have to use them. But I will if I"m threatened or attacked. It's very sad that things are like this, most people aren't like that, but there are plenty of bullies out there, as well. They also seem to enjoy taking people by surprise, so you have to be always on your guard. Cops are some of the worst bullies of all, I cannot stand them in general. A bunch of TOTAL uneducated idiots on a power trip with an angry axe to grind, usually.

[@thiscorrosion900]

I always pray they physically attack me for no reason, so I can use force. So far that hasn't happened, but nearly so. At least then, even in adult life, you have an excuse to take them out. And I mean, take them to the fucking cleaners. That proves to me though that most bullies are cowards, basically. If they attacked you, and you kicked the shit out of them, that's the last time they will ever bully.

[@AutisticAwakeActivist]

@@thiscorrosion900 on the subject of cops, I’m a 5 ft 2 woman with degenerative disc disease ( 3 lower discs) last month someone attempted to scam me from 3 mobile there’s a long back story , but to cut it short they guy in the shop was being horrrible and I had a verbal but none physical verbal autism melt down , he called the cops and they literally physically assaulted me with cuffs I took pictures. 3 think it’s the debtor company what’s got a scammmer the police have stayed silliest but I was charged with a random public order offence which I refused to sign to accept they were supposed to send me a court date but I’m going to be my own court case but police had. 15 days to respond and they haven’t and it’s got about , 1 week to go it left me suicidal and I got sectioned for it. I’m still in hospital but I’m informal since last Wednesday threee think the fraudster is in the debtor company cos they admittted I don’t owe them anything it happened 27 th august and it ruined my birthday which was the 29th I’m still in the looonybin because of it. As for bullies as a kid . I was trappped. If I faught back I got bullied at home 10x as bad I couldn’t win. But as an adult . Soon as I had my own money I took up a martial art and joined the ta let’s just say , I never started trouble but them lessons served me well. My spine is knacked now though that scares me but I will never trust police again after Augusts experience.

[@mikesmith6594]

Exactly I grew up with autism dealing with hateful two faced narcissistic individuals who labeled me bi polar after lashing out at my bullies for doing me shitty for years. Pushing me around til I snapped at them.

[@MatthewDavies-n4t]

The worst bullies ive seen and experienced was always in hospitals Lots of vulnerable people is perfect for narcisists and other toxic personalitys.

[@xorphz]

Nothing ever stung me so deeply to hear about others just completely isolating themselves and trusting no one. I have not made a single friend since I was a teenager due to all the trauma I have endured. I am now turning 33. I hope someday I can learn to cope better and heal my aching heart.

[@nussknacker9827]

The only people who've ever been kind to me were narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths. I feel for their "nice person" Persona until they became highly abusive I often feel like an alien among humans I only trust animals

[@GeorgWilde]

I think bullying can't be eliminated in humans. It's kind of "you are not a part of the tribe" thing. If someone behaves or looks different, he's instantly identified as potential enemy of the tribe. Of course that's subconscious. Most human activity is subconscious, so neurotypicals has never articulated why they bully so far. But it feels EXTREMELY good "to belong, to be on a team, tribe, nation etc.". The flipside is that it feels equally good to harm outsiders - it only adds to the identity built entirely around in vs out group, not thinking, but feeling and acting dymanic.

[@adelaidedupont9017]

"Our trust boiled dry and our loyalty shattered in an instant" - and the images connected to those words.

[@Ar4tic_Blizzard1626]

I think alot of bullying stems from either insecurities or from somehow learning that bullying is okay or the thing to do. im also really confused and sad as to why some people seem so... violently opposed to people they dont understand? like "this person has had different experiences from me, instead of accepting that humanity is an extremely diverse place, im going to make this persons life a living hell." like, why?

[@adelaidedupont9017]

It is amazing that we do have access to these sources of emotional intelligence and perspective - and you know what; people with emotional intelligence and perspective STILL get bullied!

[@sallyniemann6610]

In my late 50s I discover a history of bullying is quite useful because you stop responding to it and go after what you want. We are ahead of our time so draw fire...after a while you will be vindicated. I am proud to be part of the Autistic tribe and I love my people❤

[@SBecktacular]

Yes exactly! ✊👍😌

[@guts1859]

Exactly! We're all we need 💪

[@user-in8cw4zm6o]

My "mother" has narcissistic traits and my "father" too... and I'm autistic. In fact, most of the people I met had narcissistic traits, and it's very difficult to deal with it when you have ADD/ADHD, because they don't see that they're being bad people, since they are very selfish (and, in my life, i was taught to mask my symptoms because they also masked themselves to others... It is as if in today's society, it is an obligation to mask, and the bullys take advantage of that)

[@howardlanus8467]

Lack of trust also has another impact on those using this tactic: it prevents you from replacing the pain with something more positive. Instead of the pain being balanced or diluted or what have you with love, friendship, and camaraderie, it lingers and seeps into your mind. It colors every relationship with fear and anxiety about being hurt again, and can even be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you're so convinced people will hurt you, you are more likely to act in a way that will lead to them lashing out at you in frustration, fear, or other emotions. This of course reinforces your preconceptions and adds to the pain that's already inside you, exacerbating the old wounds with fresh ones, causing this vicious, infinite loop of fear, anxiety, and pain. I am speaking from experience because I've come to see people as like ticking time bombs. I know that saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time can lead to them exploding in your face. And the more people there are the more variables you need to watch for, ratcheting up the anxiety. Unfortunately, people don't go around with signs saying "X and Y will make me explode" so the only way to really discover those boundaries is to get blown up again and again and again. For me, the fear of undergoing that pain over and over again is just overwhelming.

[@sprainedankle8547]

so true man, so true

[@jen-cy6wj]

All by design

[@2gunmoya]

Shit well put. This is how I felt throughout my adulthood. Risk just isn't worth it anymore. Fuck people

[@ilovemybeard3394]

Spot on!!! Spot on the group mentality ruining an innocent person

[@Stormbrise]

My bullies were in my family, so I just grew up into it. When the top jock at my secondary school tried to bully me I laughed at him, asking if that is all he had. Then told him my family was worse than him. He left me alone after that. There was a lot of isolating me out, being female, that happens a lot with other girls. This is the passive way to bully other girls, exclude them from the tribe. Even in the Drum & Bugle Corps I was a member of in the US, I was just isolated from others. I finally came to terms with it at some time and just threw my sleeping bag down next to people who were a bit more tolerant of me. I did have people move on me while I slept. Then I would try another group. Also, thanks for the description of the former US President.

[@datnohi8612]

Lol I love ❤️ this, I have the same situation, having been bullied by family, and in every job I have been on, they have to be sophisticated in their bullying for me, all I do is ignore them just like they do me ...eventually they give up because they see 👀 I'm not going to budge. All have for the bullies now is BRING IT

[@naturgehöft-sieghexe]

i can relate! my mother was the cruelest thing that crawled the earth! nothing outside my family ever could compare to what i endured during childhood.^^ nietzsche is my spirit animal because of that.

[@codyclaypool1257]

These negative things of spitefulness are me but I'm high functioning autistic. I'm like this though do to being bullied all my life. Teachers encouraged students to gather around and verbally taunt me as they joined in. The school swept it under the rug let them keep there job. The students were not reprimended some of the students and teachers were christians. I still deal with social ostracization. I'm really bitter now I'm disliked by most mainly my peers. I can read certain body language mostly negative body language I notice. Some things are hard like perceiving certain fake psychological head games pretending to be nice to throw me off. I mention social heiarciey often. I also don't trust authoritarian dogma though are may differ. I don't trust authority in general but I'm also open minded. Yup they love to gaslight. I've been blamed by my brother because of how they treat me. I don't trust anyone either. My family does not take me seriously they gaslight me and misrepresent what I'm saying.

[@juliadixon8465]

Christians are often the worst offenders.

[@PegasusysTarotClub]

I'm sorry you had to go through all this. Some people are such a disgrace. I hope you will find something that makes you feel happy again. Don't ever give up on yourself!

[@myworldautistic670]

Thank you so much for this. I get bullied relentlessly as an adult Autistic. It gets to where I don't know if I will be able to survive it sometimes.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

13:38 I've never truly believed in this resilience crap towards bullying - it's bullying. Such a relief I'm not the only one

[@jerseypooh4664]

I’ve been bullied throughout my life as a child, at uni and work. Even though I’m a nurse and have worked hard, I still suffer the impact of it. But it just makes me stronger and determined to continue.

[@nussknacker9827]

You make yourself stronger, not the bullies. The bullies deserve no credit at all, they're pathetic

[@2gunmoya]

I'm so proud of you. I also work at healthcare but..bullies are heavily impacting my life and I'm looking for my exit plan. My body just can't take the verbal abuse and snarky comments

[@alienjourney]

Bullies are generally insecure people. I was a victim of bullying due to my autism which I didn’t know I had in high school and I used to be a bully. Let me just tell you that we bullies are insecure as fuck! Some bullies don't even know they're bullies and some do. BULLIES ARE PATHETIC PEOPLE who crave for power , just remember that! People who don't bully are confident within themselves , while bullies are not confident people. Bullies want power, praise , validation , etc. They put they’re victims down to make themselves feel better by pointing out other people's insecurities. And it’s pathetic, when you think about it. Why point out someone's insecurities when you can't even fix your own insecurities. And now do you understand why bullies are pathetic people? Why else would they bully ? You have to understand that once you graduate from high school, they’ll realize how shitty of a person they are. Trust me, there’s so many people I would like to apologize to from elementary, middle, and high school. I didn’t know I was bullying people, I wasn’t aware. I only cared about myself. I didn’t mean to hurt they’re feelings. I was selfish. You have to find your own tribe of people so they won’t bully you. Join school activities / clubs and make tons of friends if possible. If you’re alone, they’ll bully you. Don’t stand alone!

[@Fighting4eva]

Ty

[@theautisticcomedian]

You do realize there is no group of misfits in schools, workplaces, or society in general. The whole "loser club" where social outcasts gather with unrelenting camaraderie only exists in Holly Wood productions and not real life. Usually in schools, there is only one or two social outcasts that the whole school avoids or picks on. Sometimes the ostracizing is warranted like if the kid is a trouble maker or repulsive. I was autistic in school and there was no group of other outcasts for me to join. I had to build my own personality and reputation to form friends. I worked harder and participated with people who weren't outcasts. I got good grades and was funny which now I'm a well respected comedian and writer. I would not have gotten to where I am today if I embraced being an outcast and tried starting a community with other misfits. If animals in a herd left the main herd and joined forces with other weak animals they would be easy picking for predators, or starve to death. You have to integrate yourself within the herd. But you also have to keep a level individuality and open mindedness in order to survive.

[@Adia-k9p]

My looks brought to high places, but specialist won t give me this diagnosis , I believe this , honesty is the best policy

[@Adia-k9p]

Some people enjoy competition I don t , it a not a flaw

[@anon.decoding_card]

Then you will ve bullied by those who you seek company from. Get ripped.

[@RStark-bt7hl]

My 9 yr old daughter was recently diagnosed with autism. She has so many talents and really loves people. My wife and I want her to thrive and love life. Thanks for making this video!

[@Sarajevomusic1]

So after 6 months on medication for ADHD, I am able to think clearer - and watching these high-functioning videos, the life experiences are so aligned. Incredible.

[@Sarajevomusic1]

I specifically target bullies in the workplace now. I despise it.

[@Sarajevomusic1]

@@Santeri-zo3wx what do you mean?

[@Tilly850]

The only solution that is actually viable is to learn what bullying is, learn when it is happening, and treat those who do it like the poison they are. They are toxic and aren't about to change. The only thing we can change is ourselves...and we can't change our autism. Therefore we must change how we interact within a world that bullies us. I chose self employment, making my home my sanctuary, and being very cautious, as I learn to set boundaries, about who I allow to be in my life and get close to me. Kick out bullies when I learn who they are like I weed my gardens...out of here. I can't change them, and so must protect myself when I discover who they are. Always believe them if they show you who they are.

[@buri.bii3]

How did you become self employed? This is something I desire in the future as tbh I have no intention of working for an employer for 30+ years.

[@anniebeanie710]

Lets not forget unlike the neurotypical people we look at things very logically. So anywhere where there is possibility to officially file a complaint, lets use our strenghts and describe things clearly enough for them to understand. It sometimes does make the difference.

[@LadybugsOpin]

"Bullies are powerless unless you give them the power" doesn't work when the bully is the one who controls the work schedule and has decided that they wanna cut your working hours down to 4/week whenever they don't want you around. It's happened to me so many times, that I'm officially seen as unable to hold a job. Even though I regularly outperform most coworkers!

[@taras3702]

I learned the best way to deal with bullies is to hurt them back, and meet violence with greater violence.

[@denifnaf5874]

**THE ONLY THING THEY FEAR IS YOU INTENSIFIES**

[@taras3702]

@@denifnaf5874 If people won't respect me, I will settle for them being deathly afraid of me.

[@anon.decoding_card]

Specially greater, indeed. 🥂💀

[@user-gy3fj1gt9i]

I love the final mesagge of the video ❤. I' am an autistic adult who has struggeled with bullying her whole life and suffered a lot bc of it. I still get bullied now days and find it really hard to deal with...

[@markfornefeld299]

This is so true because I’m autistic

[@camellia8625]

I like how you challenge the lazy and cowardly responses of those who should be using their position to establish a more mutually respectful culture that does not tolerate bullying.

[@filrabat1965]

1. Take a cue from civil rights groups, all ethnicities but particularly Blacks and LGBT, due to their decades of depth and breadth of experiences about how they handled racial harassment in schools. Start relationships and organize groups with other bullied students and parents. 2. We wouldn't put up with attacks on students with physical or academic learning disabilities. So what makes it OK to abuse students with social learning disabilities? 30 years ago, people got annoyed at LGBTs; 60 years ago, against non-whites (particularly interracial relationships). If it's wrong to be irritated at LGBTs or other races, it's just as bad to be irritated toward those with autism.

[@kathleenmaryparker8662]

I watched and read a lot of stuff about animals as a child and learned about the hierarchy system - and, of course, being autistic, thought it was stupid - unfortunately, this set me up for a lot more conflicts with bullies ...

[@SBecktacular]

Some bullying is very subtle - You don’t see it until later… I really don’t care because I’m not a bully and God is/has protected me and sees their heart. All will be revealed.

[@JimmyJaxJellyStax]

By far one of the best revelations of what it's like to live and be bullied as someone on the spectrum - especially in the workplace.

[@MsEllaMae]

I highly abused by bullies, I am transgender female and Dyslexic autistic. I'm just learning at 49 an 8 yrs of transition that I'm a victim of cyber bullying. I read an watched many post on media saying to UNMASK, STOP FAWNING, STOP PEOPLE PLEASING, SPEAK YOUR TRUTH, BE AUTHENTIC. So many posts that I thought that's what I should do, then I get attacked by other people for doing what the other people were saying to do. I can't get help in my area with my crappy insurance and there isn't much help for adults with or to get diagnosed. I had a meltdown 4 yrs ago and self tested. I wanted help I was trying to follow others feeds an posts but I'm so isolated and have no one I trusted. I started speaking up or responded to people that were offensive then I start getting called I'm bully. If I'm quite I get bullied if I speak up I get banned for my lack of language skills and vocab. I feel Socially SA'd

[@speedypete4987]

The worst cases of bullying that I have experienced were not in the English boarding schools where I spent my tender formative years from the age of five (where I was the only person of colour in a school of 1,000 students) but as an adult volunteer in the not-for-profit, health care and charity sectors. The most horrible bullies hide in these sort of places.

[@KS-bo5bg]

Autistic 🤷🏻‍♀️, trans😅, intersex 😮, multiracial ❤️💛🤎🤍🖤, red haired 👩🏻‍🦰, kidnapping & trafficking survivor too. It wasn't fun. I was always perceived as gay, or performing gender wrong and that heaped in with ableism and victim blaming almost killed me.

[@chapachuu]

I have PTSD from my current workplace because of bullying, not just myself, but some of my coworkers. It’s like mean girls in my office. It literally destroyed my mental and physical healthy working there. I can’t wait to quit.

[@jercasgav]

Just another thought about bullying...10yrs ago I was learning about home school and the social set up in mass public schooling as I was pretty sure I wanted to home school my son for many reasons. One interview I listened to was by a developmental psychologist...he said that the public school environment is incredibly unnatural compared to what humans have had for most of human history. He said being in a room, five days a week, with about 30 other kids your exact same age is NOT good socialization. Being with only kids your own age stunts a person socially, and it causes a super high rise in sadistic bullying behaviors in people that would often not exhibit such behavior (or to such an extent), in a natural environment with kids and adults of various ages. The older kids and adults keep bullying in check, and the kids around younger kids tend to realize they are setting an example for the younger ones as well. He said a human is designed to interface with all different ages and types of people in society, and that a well thought out home school program can readily do this much better than school which was designed originally with the early 1900s factory system in mind which emphasized conformity rather than critical thinking and independent thought. We are basically exacerbating the human issue of bullying with the way we have set up schooling. I realize now as an adult that I am autistic, but I am a female and was really adept at masking and going through the motions as best as I could "to fit in". By high school I was quite good at this, but it cost me a lot and stressed me out. As an adult I finally learned with the help of my husband being supportive that it is okay to be who I am. It took until recently in my late 30s to really accept and understand that I am who I am and that is totally fine!

[@HappyHoney41]

People are ignorant for picking on an adult autistic. Most of us have ran into bullies through our lives. If we've made it to adult hood, we have become harder than they may think. Many of us have a hidden 'grit'. A large number of us have taken martial arts, to learn to defend ourselves. I call them out, whenever I run into them.

[@tarotqueen9118]

I had no idea I was autistic as a girl in the 90s it wasn't recognized. It wasn't until I had a son on the spectrum, and I learned all I could know about autism was it that I decided to get myself diagnosed. All these years, I was told I'm not trying hard enough or I'm weird even had a teacher call me stupid. That shit sticks with you forever.

[@bobfrapples2016]

I was the weird Aspeeger's kid and i was bullied viciously until i graduated H.S. To be honest,I am not upset that it happened. Its the hardships of life that show us joy and make us stronger.

[@MaitlandJones]

No amount of telling the teachers did anything, they were cowards, and when I defended myself, I was the one punished. In hindsight, I learned that there was nothing the school could do to me that was worse than the constant torment of my daily life. The only times the bullying stopped was when I resorted to physical force. Bullies, like teachers, are cowards, they don't go after targets that can fight back. There's no curing the system outside curing nuerotypicality via eugenics or gene therapy. The only way to protect one's dignity is to present a hard target. When I have kids, I'm going to teach them how to fight and give them full permission to defend themself with the assurance that however much the school punishes them I will reward them tenfold.

[@thiscorrosion900]

I had a couple of teachers in middle school and high school that were themselves, psychotic screaming bullies, who would even punish an entire classroom, for the bad behavior of a very few. that were the bullies of my schools then, etc. It was never the "good" smart kids that were disrupting the class, almost never. So you're asking the bullies in some cases, to stop the bullies! Good luck.

[@MaitlandJones]

@@thiscorrosion900 Well, if they think that punishing the innocent will get compliance, just means the innocent have no reason to comply anymore. Might take a bit of organization, but seems like an easy way to throw their tactics back into their face. I had a real bitch of a teacher once. In that case my parents put an end to her bullshit when they could obviously see she's just a bitch. My younger brother had a shit science teacher once, I wonder how long she lasted when his class mass petitioned the school to move them to another science teacher's class.

[@elizabethangus4758]

I was so singled out from the herd the instant I walked into kindergarten, I was a loner before then, and bullied my entire school career. Raised by a NM and alcoholic father I had no one to turn to. At 12 I decided suicide was letting ‘them’ win and that would not be allowed. I am still bullied as an adult but have a cast iron self esteem and no longer internalize the abuse. That’s their problem not mine now.

[@Theoutdoorsaregreat1275]

I am at the age of 20 and autistic but i dont let my past get to me my goal is to be a professional archer

[@thiscorrosion900]

That's funny, I was a huge archery target Olympic style shooter from 1977-1994. Long before I had any idea of Asperger's etc. for myself. I've been trying to get back into shooting archery, but there are few ranges or clubs here on LI NY anymore that are close enough to me to make it worth it. I would concentrate on archery, and try to go pro. or whatever, if you can. I was almost in the Empire State Games at one point, so I wasn't bad. I'm still a good shot. Just don't let bullies intimidate you, confront them, call them out, get them in trouble. If possible. Don't let it go. I wish I hadn't, because I am 55 and still have tremendous anger in me about all that. I didn't have any bullies though in archery!

[@EbonyHoopGyal]

I'll be honest intersectionality is hard for me. I sacrificed my life for other marginalized classes (military, security at pride, and activism). Many of those people have been incredibly cruel to me aswell. When i do my best to express or respond to what i saw as unfair behavior, the mistreatment only worsened. Now i am totally alone because of it all:/

[@TheWilliamHoganExperience]

I'm autistic. I was diagnosed at age 57. Yes - Bullying is absolutely a problem. The biggest one I've faced as an autistic person. STANDING UP to bullies has always worked for me - but it's come at a terrible cost. You have to be willing to go ALL THE WAY when threatened. All the way. When the threat is violence, you have to be willing and able to inflict terrible punishment on your attacker. The first time I was bullied was on my first day of school. I was 6 years old, and I was attacked on the playground and in the restroom. No one was going to rescue me - that was clear from the start. I was beaten so badly by one kid that one of my ears started bleeding. They had glass tubes inserted to drain them because of chronic ear infections. The resulting pain from blood backing up into my ear canal remains the worst I've ever endured. I was 7. So learned how to defend myself. By 3rd grade I'd learned to recognize and avoid bullies on the playground and restrooms, but some bullies will not be denied. Like Toby Tyler. Toby was big for his age. I was small and slender for my own. Still am. Toby decided I was an easy mark, and started pushing me around at the school bus stop. No way to avoid the little bastard if I wanted to go to school or get home. I'd told teachers about previous bullies and of course, that only made things worse. Nobody like a snitch. Especially teachers. I was autistic - but I wasn't intellectually disabled. I'm the opposite of that, with an IQ profile that's in the top 98th percentile. I had a metal lunch box. Toby Tyler did not. I still remember his screams. He ran and cried as I chased him. I swung that metal lunchbox at him as hard as I could. Like my life depended on it. Terrified Full of an awful blind rage that consumes me when threatened with violence. I was sure he'd find me on the playground later - and settle the score when my lunch box was locked away in the classroom at recess. But it never happened. Toby never so much as LOOKED at me again. So why is this so terrible? Because I'm a peaceful, loving person. I hate violence, and anger. The worst part was how I lost control of myself and viciously attacked the little pr*ck. He didn't deserve the beating I gave him. He was just teasing me and pushing me around - he hadn't actually hit me. Yet. But I'd had blood pouring out of my ears a couple of years earlier. I knew where this was headed. So I f*cked him up before he f*cked me up. He messed with the wrong kid. And I felt terrible about it. Similar things happened throughout my childhood. The last time I was in a street fight was 15 years ago. I was in my mid 40s. I'm a trained fighter now, and hold a belt in Krav Maga. I "lost" that fight but survived because I fought back. The guy threatened to kill me and then started punching me, so I fought back. HARD. I escaped with a black eye and a bloody nose instead of in a coffin. My advice to everyone, autistic or not is to not take any sh*t from anyone. Bullies are COWARDS. They are looking for submission. Don't submit. Stand UP. The consequences of standing up are potentially huge. I've lost jobs and and an entire career over it. I've Suffered flashbacks, nightmares and bottomless shame from the both the violence I was subjected to. Living with the violence I did to my attackers was the worst part. To know what I'm capable of in that regard, and to have repeatedly had to unleash that animal to protect my life and those of the people I love. From some ass-hat trying move up in the pecking order, or who's moved down now that his GF is sleeping with me instead of his violent ass. The only thing worse than standing up to a bully is giving in. YOU need to stand up. No one can do it for you. It takes courage beyond measure, so I don't fault those who give in. Rather, I pitty them and the small lives they serve as slaves to degenerate bullies. It's obedience to authority that gives authority power. Obedience is the problem. Google "The Milgram Experiment" if you doubt how horrible neurotypical people are as individuals. Then Google "The Stanford Prison Experiment" to be horrified by how they behave in groups towards other groups they think are weaker and therefore inferior. Those two experiments have been replicated countless times. They are the benchmarks for human depravity. 2/3rds of people will murder another person as long as a guy in lab coat tells them "The experiment must continue" as they (think) they are shocking some screaming victim to death. Look it up - it's true. Arbitrarily assign prisoner / guard status to a group of people in a mock prison setting, and the sadism runs rampant. So much so the original eperiment was stopped due to ethical concerns - back in the 1960s

[@JamieHumeCreative]

This has done tremendous harm to me. The most harm given me and still is giving me grief. I consider myself in recovery, yet...it's been happening to me while I'm trying to heal.

[@sksk-bd7yv]

I too try to heal from decades of trauma. It's so difficult to repair what was never allowed to grow. How to build a life free from fear and hate?

[@adrianmargean3402]

I'm shocked at how accurate this video is.

[@hab0272]

Common advice i hear is standing up for oneself. Though there certainly is value to that it may also reinforce ideas about the world being a mean place where one is ultimately alone and being picked on is one's own fault. Standing up for others and not tolerating bully-like behaviour in general is something i find far more inspiring. It implies one is part of a group/system and can bring value to that group. A hero for the greater good.

[@surgeeo1406]

A long time ago, at 18 years old, when going through military inspection, I had the enormous pleasure of witnessing one of my former school bullies cracking under the pressure of simply having to follow orders. I also had a bit of sadness too. He was so unused to fear and lack of control, I bet that even in his childhood home he was getting away with everything he wanted...

[@j.b.4340]

My autism was paired with an overgrowth syndrome. No one bullied me to my face.

[@nathansmith-jk7cz]

Bullying caused me to have self hate issues

[@JaneArtsyOtternutKirkwood]

Exactly! Absolutely spot on...Hear! Hear!

[@RandyCrowder-k4f]

My guidance counselor in elementary school said it's only bullying if you look at it in that way you know she was ridiculous

[@alexkiddonen]

Thank you for this video. I hope some people find it before it happens to them. The worst part is when you can't escape the evil people. My life is basically a really fucking sad psychological horror movie. It would even win awards y'know. No escape to be found atm.

[@kyriacostheofanous1445]

I was bullied so severely in my first year of high school I hardly ever showed up then dropped out at 14. Primary school was much easier because it was a small school, I was a tall boy and wasn't afraid to fight back physically so I was left alone most of the time.

[@kyriacostheofanous1445]

Funnily enough in HS I observed other bullies beating up weaker kids so I assumed it was ok for me to do it too but when I did do it they ALL turned on me. Apparently I missed a rule.

[@martinb6846]

This is the best analysis of the bullying phenomena i listened/read in my lifetime. I also have been bullyed severely in my young and teenage age. The trauma reappeared at later age at burnout/depression. Mental care did not recognize and misdiagnosed. Finally i started a self help group of adukts with a bullied past. Finally recognition there of the trauma. Only at 71 yr age i discovered via Tiktok and selftest, i could be considered autistic, with some ADHD traits

[@nicholasclaus9695]

I believe the root of bullying is caused either through the bully has been bullied either through their own family or through their classmates so they think that it's ok to bully someone or they are going through something terrible at home and they need to get their frustration out

[@desertdarlene]

I see all these anti-bullying campaigns that do NOTHING. They have no idea that people and our society actually encourage bullying. They are more anti-victim than anti-bully.

[@StevenStone-r2l]

They're selectively anti-bullying. They help people who are considered "socially acceptable", such as gay people and immigrants. But when it comes to people who are loathed by society, such as autistic and transgender people? Anti-bullying organizations don't care.

[@minkaduchati]

You got to your 500!!! Congratulations.... you deserve so many more subscribers, your videos are well made and near-professional quality!!

[@Autistamatic]

Thank you Minka, I really appreciate comments like that.

[@dglt31072010]

Thanks Quinn I have shared this to one of my advocacy and support groups and my main Facebook page. I encourage you to continue your great work

[@TerenceKearns]

Wow. That really nailed it. I'm in my 50s now and I'm only now starting to make sense of what the hell has been going on all my life. I got massively bullied some months ago and it was by a church and the empire builders within it. You articulated perfectly what was going on. I had a fairly good intuition about what was going on but because of the secretive way they made decisions behind closed doors with no due process, it was impossible to prove. My wife still attends that church because she doesn't get it. Yet another thing that is above the waterline of complexity for most people so you just have to suffer alone and deal with the self doubt in an effort to ward off paranoia or lumping it in with rejection dysphoria. The cogency in your monologue is like a sword of truth that cuts through the veil. Thanks for your efforts.

[@myworldautistic670]

Thank you for this video. I have been sharing my experiences of being bullied as an Autistic to help my therapists understand. This video really helps with that. Thank you.

[@mikesmith6594]

Everytime I try bettering myself the bullies get more hostile and more gaslighty with their tactics also got diagnosed as bi polar even though I'm autistic for trying to stand up to my bullies like damned if I do or damned if I don't? Now I get bullied more and experience more gaslighting.

[@thiscorrosion900]

You hadn't mentioned the type of bullies i encountered in middle and jr. high school, which were sadistic, violent bullies, or nearly so. I even had some bullies in jr. high or so that in some cases had been friends of mine on my street growing up, then had turned on me for some reason, and would bully by making attacking remarks to me in class, or bertween, knowing it would anger me and enrage me. I wasn't really prepared for this, and I wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's till many years later, so really it had nothing to do with it at that time. They weren't tough enough to be violent or threaten me, they weren't even capable of that, but, they can disturb and bully people even with just nasty words or teasing, calling people "faggots" and stuff like that. I still feel like knifing these people, I'll be honest. Thank God I haven't run into them again, nor have I attended any school reunions. I'm not interested. I don't think people change that much, and, sometimes they get even worse!

[@elainelee4828]

Well said, thank you!

[@adelaidedupont9017]

And that's what humanitarian ingerence is about - or in English "responsibility to protect". #power #responsibility #hierarchy #bullying

[@JaylenPotts-zs2qw]

Growing up autistic I was bullied by my brother everyday

[@ethandarcy5940]

"You need to earn our trust, not show us a badge." Describes the anti-authoritarian philosophy... I wonder if we could teach it to people generally.

[@Torrance02]

ANY crime no matter how small against a disabled person is an enhanced felony. Bullying is a crime

[@ghosthost100]

Great video & talk. Unfortunately throughout middle school in the early 2000s: 2001 - 2003, I was bullied alot. As a male POC I've had a rough childhood. I remember this one kid kept targeting me all throughout 6 to 8 grade. This bully was so bad, he almost get kicked out of our county. High school was better but not perfect. That is where my social naïveté was exploited. I had this former-best friend come with me to my high school. We kicked things off well but he became cocky and rogue. He took advantage of my kindness and almost got me expelled from high school. That experience had me jaded on trust and friendships. I know it happened nearly 17 years ago, but its hard to get over it, because I really trusted that person but he back stabbed. Unfortunately bullying is never gonna be eradicated, there's gonna be mean people everywhere; college and the workplace. You just have to show grace and thick-skin and not take it personally. Also, be cautious who you trust.

[@quitmanlott7394]

Great video. I am a 68 year old autistic man. There is an old saying “you can’t change other people, you can only change yourself”. It’s not true, but it’s a step in the right direction. If you change the way you react to someone, it changes the way they react to you. Through-out my young life, because of my Dad’s job, I moved to a different place every three to four years. Every place I moved to, I found the same type of friends, and ran into the same type of bullies, as was in the place I had just moved from. I noticed that the bullies don’t pick on everyone, only certain people. The only logical conclusion is, the bullies pick on me because of the way I react to them. It is my fault that they target me. RULE: We all continually train each other, not only what we will and will not put up with, but everything else; this includes your friends, family, coworkers, strangers … everyone. If we look at our interactions with other people in this way (as a game), it helps us to understand what is really going on, and how we need to act in order to encourage the desired out-come. It does this by personal detaching you from the situation so you will have a fresh clean unbiased perspective. It’s a game that you can play well, if you are mindful that it is a game. The best way to stop a bully from picking on you is to find a game he does not want to play, then give them no choice but to play it. What you are doing is making your self an undesirable target. 1. Verbally, tear them a new butt hole. If they’re doing this often, why would you not prepare a bunch of insults for the next day? Hair, close, body, verbally pick him apart. This game almost always works; they walk away humiliated. They do this because for every negative bothersome thing they say or do, things just get worse for them. If they start being nice, reward them by discontinuing your hostilities. This is how you train everyone to be nice to you. 2. Wear a body camera and when needed, act like a victim. Say things like “please don’t hurt me”. Here, a hurt look on your face will come in handy. He will go wild. This can make a restraining order, law suit or charges possible quickly, often with no severe valence. 3. Agree with the bully. A large framed friend of mine was talking to my wife. He told her "I'm tired of the fat comments and the bullying". She told him “You’re not fat. You’re fluffy. If you can laugh at yourself, you’ve rendered the bully’s comments useless”. He replied to my wife "I love that, can I use It?" She of course said yes. The next time he showed up, he had a big tattoo across his chest; it read "FLUFFY". He said it works great. 4. Sigmond Froyd them. Ask them questions. Keep them on the defensive. Make it all about them, not you. Keep the questions relevant, and discuss their answers with them. Maybe even ask them things like “do your friends know you’re a Nazi?”. Have fun. 5. At work, I let management deal with the bullies. If they refuse, I document the confrontation by filing a complaint. Then I tell them “You knew there was a problem and you did nothing to stop it. By doing this, you have facilitated this bully’s actions by knowingly providing them with a playground full of helpless victims”. “If there is another problem, I’m glad you have deep pockets, because the court will find that you were complicit with the bully, and you will pay the hospital bills and a petty hefty law suit”. This has never failed to work. 6. You need some skill to do this one. I aggressively insult them till they go away or hit me. Less than 10% take a swing at me. I normally duck, then hit them twice; a very fast rabbit punch to knock their head back and diminish their balance, then I step into them and land a short pile-driver to the cheek to knock them off their feet. Both hits take less than one second. Then I step back and give them a chance to get up and walk away. I hit them so hard on the second punch, they always walk. I never press charges. Justice has already been served. I’ve done this many times, but never at work. I never hit first; I do not want to be viewed as a bully. With insult them, I hit my goal ether way without going to jail. 7. There are the ones that let this happen to get attention. You can tell who they are because they just want to complain, and never really try to fix the problem. If you don’t have the will to take care of business, you get what you pay for. For all the crap you’ve taken from this bully, I’d rather inflict some unpleasantness to get him off my back. Bullying me will always has undesirable consequences.

[@sheridansherr8974]

Thank you for the advices! 💖💖💖👍👍👍👍

[@sheridansherr8974]

💖💖💖👍👍👍👍

[@cherhaffen-ut1xb]

Ty for saying this Words do hurt same as sticks and stones. Victim shaming is incredibly damaging and people who are supposed to be in authority or helping victims should be in touch with their own bias. I have as much right to be here as the trees Just realized this at 52 after incredible gaslighting and bullying

[@naturgehöft-sieghexe]

I always stand up and confront the bullies. Not only that - I expose them. By their need to bully someone the bullies tend to make mistakes, that damage their own status, if exposed. I am over 40 years and had luck with that. of course you have to be righteous to do so. and it is very stressful, unfortunately. and i am not sure if everybody with autism could do that since we are all so very different...

[@adelaidedupont9017]

I'm glad/relieved I didn't find that bullying article when I was first on the Net. When you talked on #neuroclastic about #unintentionalbullying - a lot of the bullying in my life has been unintentional. I didn't think it could be anything else!

[@Sarajevomusic1]

The (main) guy who bullied me in primary school is one of the nicest adults.

[@samf.s.7731]

The only way that actually worked for me is to leave... I had to change residence because of this one .... Neonazi bully I lived with. That person is so evil, it's like she came from the depths of hell to tormet and harm anyone and everyone that was different.

[@mrsmiley707]

wish I found this earlier, and I loved the understanding on the intersectionality part. definitely subscribing and gonna binge watch these awesome vids

[@melissacooper8724]

The worst story I've ever heard was where this one autistic kid got the cops called on him because he was fighting a bully. The principal called the kid's father because of the incident. The father had to watch the cops arrest his son and take him away in handcuffs! The father ended up suing the school because it traumatized his poor son!

[@kyleethekelt]

Yes, Quinn, but what if it's the people at the top who are the ones doing the bullying? That's what I and many others suffered whilst being raised in the care of people to whom our parents were told to hand us. Because we were in an institutional setting with no means of escape except at the end of school terms, because I (at least) had parents, in whom I couldn't confide because when you're five or six you get to thinking this is normal life, because telling them would only have increased their guilt and gotten me into trouble and because the head matron was the chief bully, we were powerless. Those of us she singled out have no idea, to this day, why she chose us. But the organisational culture is led from the top and that encouraged others down the pecking order. This was only on the hostel side; the school also had its bullies in the form of the teachers. Bullying of children by an adult in authority, or by the system, is very different from dealing with schoolyard meanies. The adult knows she is doing wrong but does it anyway for her own reasons. IF she is the boss, no one will question her actions - though it will encourage some of her minions to behave similarly. She may even encourage that herself. She is smart enough to only single out some of us and she has power of which the lowly teacher or house staffer can only dream. There is no escaping that scenario and it was what I grew up with.

[@No-oc5dc]

I lost my job because of abuse from a customer, and all I did was tell their boss “they need to watch what they say “and I am afraid to sue due to my former boss’s family being involved with organized crime

[@jsbrown2841]

Thank you for this wonderful video, which I shared with my division.

[@andreabuntpercy]

As a young girl, I sensed the best strategy was to fade into the background because it kept me safe. After a marriage where I became invisible and wasn't supported to do otherwise, I studied up on psychology and started to inhabit my true self. The bullies can still surprise me but I have a few good friends. I can walk away and be satisfied with that.

[@richardcesar5546]

Great video, however you missed an aspect of where some of the hierarchical fights come from. Its not JUST our lack of recognizing status. Often times the very top of the hierarchy select and protect certain autistic people, effectively making them "advisors". The NT's play a complicated game of follow the follower, and the top of the hierarchy tends to follow us, not in a subservient way, but in a predictive/subscripted way. This makes us appear as an active participant in a game we have no interest in playing. They cannot differentiate between the king following us for foresight, and us attempting to scale their power structure.

[@huckaf]

This is so interesting.

[@kathyrichmond5835]

So smart, so intelligent. The one channel that really describes my own experience. And calls it all out.

[@judylandry302]

The bullying is even more cruel when you're old.

[@yathercantillano3874]

💯 It effects your livelihood

[@clausmischker5004]

Really, tears, again, in response. Not enjoying the relatability of these videos however am grateful all the same for these videos. Thanks again.

[@zekova]

I was bullied enough by my father that I decided to divert all energy towards avoiding getting bullied, so I never /really/ got bullied in school, but that's entirely due to the absolutely gargantuan amount of effort I put into seeming normal. Still had no friends, but didn't get bullied! /*tentative woo*/ 😵‍💫 Edit: oh! And then when I was overwhelmed and somewhat snippy at home, my father would LOSE HIS MIND. Go absolutely ballistic. Like dude Im going to school for 8hrs a day, trying to learn and do well, but also trying to seem normal to not get bullied! A fucking child (especially) only has so much energy! 😢

[@SharkyJ40]

Wow, so while watching this video, I counted the number of lawyers I hired in the last decade to help me survive US corporate disability discrimination, police brutality, gov disability that needed appeals for over 2 years, and employer long term disability insurance that was wrongfully and retaliatory terminated, including being surveilled. I didn’t take the abuse. I fought all 8 times and won. Never let the cost deter you. Most work on contingency so they take a percentage of winnings, no cost up front. Know your rights. That’s how they keep winning. I knew my rights better than they did. Underestimated every time.

[@kstar6508]

Well explained. Congratulations for your channel. Saving lives.

[@Levl8]

Great vid, In my experience, If you are or suspect that you have neurodivergence and are being bullied then the only solution is to have success in your work and interpersonal relationships. Success is the only way out of that hell. I found two ways that help ease this birden is to create a meditation and gym routine. The mind and body are interconnected and bullies use various tactics to try to break that connection

[@nicholasclaus9695]

I too am autistic and bullying and myself are like ancient rivals