Autistic Elopement - The Silent Danger You Need to Know!

[@valeriecp4883]

Yep my husband used to ‘elope’ a lot in our early relationship. I understand now this was due to overwhelm but at the time I had no idea where he was, if he was ok, when or if he might come back. Very understandable now we know he is autistic. Now he feels safe enough in a meltdown to find a safe space at home. He knows his space will be respected. He won’t be hounded for an explanation. He’ll get the space he needs. Great topic Orion

[@SmackedyDoo]

I feel like this behavior is more accepted in males than females. Females are consistently pushed to not only not leave but to always be the ones to support everyone else. So up and leaving is very very much frowned upon. I imagine statistically it's harder for females to find support and understanding for this from a partner vs males.

[@rabbitbunny136]

lucky.. xd my parents still treat me like im 5 and they know im autistic.

[@kairon156]

@@rabbitbunny136 My brother is this way with me a lot of the time. As a result I feel like I have to walk on egg shells when I'm around him. It doesn't help that his tone of voice and way he speaks at me usually sends me into a bit of regression tell I Have to leave else I'll feel like a fearful child around him.

[@manuproulx2764]

​@@SmackedyDoo As an autistic woman who's Canadian, I've had to work super hard to learn to assert boundaries without fear nor shame. It took me years, but now I'm finally able to do it for myself.

[@valeriecp4883]

@@SmackedyDooyes I think you’re right

[@NeurodiverJENNt]

I never thought about the adult version of elopement. I do that a lot. I've learned something here today... Thank you.

[@orionkelly]

No thank YOU Jenn!!

[@wendelleg2002]

My late husband was very intelligent and had been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety, but exhibited many autism traits (hated eating/crunching noises, loud voices, scratchy clothing tags, had periods of elopement, etc). Christmas was very stressful for him because of past trauma with law enforcement and as much as he tried to play along for my benefit (he cooked entrees for our workplaces, attended occasional parties, etc.), the actual day was a nightmare for him and he usually had a meltdown. It was terrible for us both, and we felt so bad for him. Consequently, I tried to tone things down at home and exchange gifts earlier or later (he wanted to do so) on another day. His immediate family never got it however and told him he was overreacting or being immature. Looking back, it all makes sense to me now in the context of ASD.

[@MVance-k9p]

I think you did a good thing to support your husband. I very much appreciated the people in my life that recognized my difficulty and attempted to work with me. My parents noticed it and, on my birthday, would leave my gift on the foot of my bed. I would go to the kitchen and blow out the candles, to see my mother smile, without hearing a happy birthday song or discussing the wish. Same at Christmas. I would enjoy giving and watching others open gifts but, my opening of gifts wasn't a big thing. I preferred to do it alone. Too much stimulation around the holidays.

[@rabbitbunny136]

woah his family sucks

[@jimwilliams3816]

So many people don’t understand acute flight or flight response - it’s technically “overreacting,” but what it absolutely isn’t is voluntary or controllable. I’m having trouble again, and I’m managing not to run, but it’s very hard. Last weekend I went acute in public, and managed not to freak out too visibly or utterly lose my sh*t, but I completely lost my ability to think straight and knew I had to leave where I was...NOW. I didn’t realize what was going on until later. The critical fact I discovered a few years ago, via Robert Sapolsky, is that this behavior is actually standard in humans. When imminent mortal danger is perceived, the sympathetic nervous system suppresses higher functioning in favor of diverting all resources to living through the perceived threat. Crossed wires of a sort can result in many of us getting triggered by a non lethal or perceived threat, but the behavior that kicks in cannot be talked down in that moment. It is, in fact, a feature not a bug. I realize you know all that, but I’m wonky right now and felt a need to write it. Thank you for understanding your late husband. Having someone understand that is so very appreciated by those of us who have this predisposition.

[@GoldilocksZone-665]

@@jimwilliams3816 Robert Sapolsky is brilliant.

[@GoldilocksZone-665]

@@MVance-k9p Christmas is a beast. For anybody who thrives on some sense of continuity - it's a beast. It would actually be a lot better if Christmas was every day - which is something the neurotypicals may write songs about but something the autistics actually feel.

[@MVance-k9p]

As intensity is a core part of autism, it would explain the strong impulse to explore something that stimulates curiosity or a coping mechanism to find something to focus on to help tune out over stimulating things. Focus is a way to filter out the world. The blinders go on and no concern for people that may be worried about you.

[@floridaLise]

exactly. i feel the guilt now as if i had just forgot someone I love.

[@wendyfollett8099]

I still get like this. If I become overwhelmed and my safe space isn't working, then I get a desperate urge to leave the house. The most recent was wanting to head and watch the wild ocean from the top of a cliff in the middle of winter. Difference between being a child and being an adult, I can drive so eloping is easier! Not necessarily safer though.

[@ShintogaDeathAngel]

I do this, semi regularly. Had no idea it was autism related but I’m glad it’s been brought up and that you provided such a specific example. Except for me it’s not when I get overwhelmed as such, but when I feel off kilter (maybe also due to ADHD) and need to re regulate my inner self. I also used to drive aimlessly past the beach on my way home from work, not wanting to be inside just yet, in the days when I finished in the evening.

[@GoldilocksZone-665]

It may be the geography or where I live but, yes, climbing upwards is now my thing. I'm a bit like a bed bug in that. I think, what it is, is that it takes more effort so I am less likely to encounter anybody else.

[@magicalsimmy]

The more I watch Orion, the more it validates that I am autistic, as I elope and do pretty much everything Orion talks about (I don’t stim in obvious ways because I have been masking for so long). I had a nasty friend who told me I “just wanted to be autistic so [I] could be ‘special’” and said I was “just trying to find excuses for [my] poor life choices.” Autism explains everything about me that ADHD did not explain fully - the special interests, the meltdowns, the running away, being “too sensitive,” feeling exhausted after working in customer service all day, the sleep disturbances, the social awkwardness, the over analyzing every social interaction, everything that happened in my childhood, etc.

[@lindsayfloyd3614]

@@magicalsimmy you are not alone! And I am so glad you are finding answers

[@НастоящийРаспутин]

Orion, I am not sure if you will see this, but you alone have ALLOWED me to find the answers i have been so desperately searching for in my life's quest to figure out what was wrong with me. As my therapist has stated, "It doesn't matter whether you receive a diagnosis, just to validate what YOU KNOW you feel. You KNOW how YOU feel and have felt the same way your whole life. You know yourself better than anyone!" I have been diagnosed with "ADHD" for a while now and I am going to be receiving the testing for Autism (or Aspergers) so that I can get the full answer (no matter what comes of it) and it may even help validate what I know I am and force doctors to take things more seriously (if that makes sense?). Not that I would ever try and "self diagnose" me, or anyone else of course. But hey, when you know you know lol. I apologize I always end up kind of rambling, but I just want you to know that YOU ALONE have allowed me to be confident in stating how I feel as a human being, and have given me the HOPE to be able to function again (I have been off work for over two years because I finally had a nervous breakdown, and in hindsight it made me realize I needed a change in my life and especially that I finally need to address what I had suspected since I was a young teenager. Most of all, you have given me the ability to begin to feel comfortable in my own skin, and as an individual. Thank you, Orion

[@heedmydemands]

❤

[@Ripley.66]

I had no idea it was related to being autistic ! 😮 As soon as I could walk I would leave wherever I was to explore the surroundings. I clearly recall thinking FREEDOM was my birth right, and no one had the right to even claim the need to know where I was...😂 In the 60's, early 70's, in the countryside I don't remember anyone worrying too much, my family was used to it, and I could roam the fields pretty much as I liked. Later as a young adult I became a lonesome adventurer/traveller. It was the way I was connecting with life. But it often caused a lot of trouble with my relationships.... I was truly stunned by the drama my behaviour was provoking.

[@user-ie6we8vh3u]

@@Ripley.66 That last sentence speaks the loudest, I'm always baffled by the drama.

[@Sky-Child]

Since I could walk (11 months) I would always wander off and never look back In reality this meant I would toddle off in the middle of crowded department stores, deserted beaches and Leuchars airshow (something like 60 thousand people at that one) I'm sure my parents were terrified

[@GoldilocksZone-665]

You said it. Freedom! We may be getting pushed, sometimes, but it's freedom doing the pulling.

[@stellar52]

I know I'm autistic since April 2024, I suspected it about 17 years ago, but dismissed the idea because my then autistic partner showed the typical signs and I didn't even know that women can be autistic. So , some months ago I just couldn't ignore my problems any longer and it's also been the firdt time I was ever able to access proper information on the Internet. Watching this video had made me realise that my now adult daughter constantly leaving school to come back home at the age of 10 and me leaving often when issues arised and still doing it even at work, is elopement. I'm just crying because all of these years being undiagnosed was such a hell for us.

[@asaldanapr]

@@stellar52 I’m 74 and just finished being tested, I now wait for the results which will not be ready until March, I will be 75 by then but it’s never too late. I started researching autism bc of my husband who definitely is neurodiverse and brilliant but doesn’t care to be diagnosed at 75. Last year when I started researching I really thought I was just ADD and never thought completely neurodiverse! It’s great to know and justify my life even now! Never too late!!!’

[@TrueDutchMan]

@Stellar If you believe from birth that the word orange is actually, ♉ this color, you would believe me right or just know because you and i believe it's orange, What if i told you orange is not orange but it's blue. Your whole brain might have a little error, it can't be blue, Well the same goes for autism, If i teach you autism is orange, and everything with orange is autism, it means i made you believe in the past that anything with orange is autism. Well autism doesn't even have a color, it's non existing, So basicly they lied to you about autism being a color, or a valid diagnoses. In simpler words, they lied to you about you having autism, they lied about certain traits that every normal human being has or struggles with and can cope with these thoughts and patterns.

[@carolynpinkerton7380]

I am a self-diagnosed (almost) seventy-one year old woman. After watching this I can add another thing about myself that says that I am autistic. I never thought about it but I have "eloped" three times since I was fifty-seven. All three times were because I was under such stress that I couldn't stand to be in the situation that I was in and I just lleft in my car and was gone for several days each time. One time it was for six days. I scared everyone to death but I was in my car, which was to me a safe place. There were other times when I was younger that this happened too. Now I know what was going on. Thank-you Orion for more of your sage advice! Something that helps me an awful lot now is that I retired from my job last Spring. I had been a Substitute Teacher in a preschool for seventeen years. A lot of preschoolers aren't the lovable little munchkins that they used to be and it was getting to be too much. I was lucky that my ex-husband who had worked for the Post Office for thirty-five years passed away and I started to get his much higher Social Security. Now I don't have to work or go out anywhere unless I really want to. I stay home and have nothing to overwhelm me or upset me or anything like that. The only other living beings I have contact with are my two cats. My life is so much simpler now. There aee no reasins to "elope" anymore.

[@SuperGingerBickies]

I did this as a child-running off without telling anyone where I was going, which caused lots of shouting and telling off from family. My mother put me in a child's harness whenever we went out. This was originally explained away as being hyperactive - which I know now is ADHD, but Autism wasn't in the diagnosis back then in the 1970s. There was a lot of stress and trauma in the family due to sickness in the family, which would explain the need to bolt out of my chair or out of their company. It happened a lot, even in my teenage years, for the reasons you explained in this video. Having a dog helps.

[@suecollins357]

My 4yo granddaughter disappeared on me in a split second recently. Luckily a passing motorist guessed my obvious terror and slowed down to let me know she saw a kid take off to the park behind us. It was like she teleported, it happened so fast! Then she became silently rooted to the spot because she suddenly was aware of what she had done. Unfortunately she was paralysed behind a dense shrub so I couldn't see her. My heart is racing just remembering it. After relieved hugs and tears on finding her, we chatted about the dangers in town but I felt she wasn't quite getting it. Great thoughts and strategies here. She loves water so will definitely be sharing this vid with my daughter. Thanks ❤

[@lauraporter3434]

I strongly suggest kids learn how to swim WELL in all types of water because keeping them away from it is almost impossible

[@ritarevell7195]

@@lauraporter3434 With PDA, a child is more likely to be drawn to the exact thing a parent is likely to express fear about. A parent would see it as wisdom to warn a child, whereas the child sees it as a challenge to their autonomy.

[@sophiamarmelstein1548]

My daughter went outside in the middle of the night to play in the community playground. Only found out cause one night she left the door open and someone robbed us of all our laptops. She later shared that maybe she left the door open (3am/ 4am) because she went out to play. She would also disappear into nature like this sometimes when we lived in a more rural area. I also went on walkabouts quite a lot as a child. My sister used to have recurring nightmares of me doing dangerous things and her not being able to save me. I am not diagnosed, but my daughter. I’m happy nothing serious took place. At the time she did this she was only 3-5 years old and we did not know she was autistic.

[@foogriffy]

i used to walk out into the desert at night. i couldn't sleep and was bored, but i didn't take anything like a flashlight or whatever. i wanted to feel like i was alone, really fully able to do and say whatever i wanted without judgement. this was during a period of time when my parents tried to get me to stop talking to myself out loud, which i was embarassed to find out they could hear through the walls at night. so i went outside instead and as far as i know they never found out. i was around 11-14 when i did this the most. pretty dangerous. i never encountered any wildlife or people, luckily.

[@Mark-Bloom]

When I was around 3 years old, I casually stepped from my uncle's boat fully-clothed into the Irish Sea just off the coast of North Wales - this now makes sense.

[@michaelk6908]

This is really good, a timely message for me. Never come across the elopement term in the context of autism. Orion superbly communicates why we need to elope. It’s such a help to hear from someone who just gets it. I received my autism diagnosis at 56. Many thanks.

[@mrspeabody615]

I just experienced eloping myself as an undiagnosed woman in my 20s. I've heard of it before and i thought "i don't do this, what a weird thing to just wander off". But just a month ago me and my boyfriend visited japan for a month and i cought myself after i had just wandered off in a busy shopping street. I just saw something that sparked my interest and my boyfriend seemed busy in another aisle of the store and in that moment i couldnt care less. Just left the store and went into another one... After checking out what i wanted to look at for quite some time, i realized what i just did and panicked a bit... i didnt even have my passport nor a phone on me and i had just wandered off into the streets of a complete foreign country. Luckily my boyfriend was still at that first store and i found him quick enough. But if i wouldve been a kid i dont think i wouldve remembered the way back and that story wouldve ended not so well...

[@theglitchedrabidrabbit]

I'm autistic and I often forget to tell people where I'm going or that I'm leaving in the first place, I can bairly remember my childhood but I can imagine I gave my parents quite a scare quite a few times

[@Broken_robot1986]

I would always try to start cars and leave. Couldn't figure out manual thankfully, but put my mom's car into a ditch. At 4 I rode my bigwheel to a K-Mart but some college kids caught me trying to cross a highway and got the police to take me home.

[@candice5460]

Wow, it's great to discover that what I do is a real thing! Thank you for making this video! I'm a 70-year-old adult who recently was diagnosed with autism by my psychiatrist, and I am just now beginning to learn about it from good videos and websites. I live alone, so don't have to inform anyone when I suddenly take off, and have recently gotten better (usually) at later informing the possibly alarmed host by text that I left their get-together about 10 minutes ago. I never can figure out how to get a word in to say a quick good-bye at a social event...and I do need it to be quick! - because, I'll have a strong sudden feeling of being overwhelmed around too many people moving around and talking too loudly and maybe asking me questions I don't know how to answer, or sometimes I just suddenly feel "done" and ready to move on right away. Like you said, It is not "fight or flight" -- I have had PTSD at a high level in the past, so do know that is different since it involves extreme fear and real or perceived danger. I also will suddenly wander off when with others at a museum or zoo with relatives. What interests me, doesn't interest them at the same time or maybe not at all, so I try to take a quick peek at something, yet stay too long. My daughter wants me to allow her to be able to use her iphone to track me, but so far, I am not comfortable with the idea. (Perhaps I should allow it?) As a kid, I used to run away, but no one would notice I left! Ha! It was during the early to mid 60s when parents used to order their kids to leave the house and go find something to do elsewhere. And so, I would enter potentially dangerous situations and places, or "break into" a closed empty school or church to wander around inside all alone (or so I always thought). I recall that I felt like those two places were safe places. I love all of your tips, and I think it is important to also teach kids how to safely jaywalk just in case, because you might be surprised how poorly even 11-year-old kids do that, especially on hilly or curved streets! Kids hanging out with kids will indeed jaywalk. It's a peer pressure thing. And, I agree that swimming lessons are very, very important for all kids! My youngest (who may or may not have low autism) jumped into a pool we were both standing next to when she was not quite 3. She was convinced she could already swim (and actually did from watching her older sister's swim team sessions!). I quickly got her into really good lessons aimed at toddlers, and she eventually became a swim instructor, which became her part-time job throughout college.

[@evelynabston7137]

My boyfriend when he was 3 years old he jumped in a pool because he wanted to know what it was like to be in the water. It was early morning when everyone was still asleep. When he jumped in he thought he would just drop and then he would jump up to the surface but he didn’t go to the bottom. He realized he had to blow out his air to go down to the bottom of the pool. So that was what he did until he was supposed to climb out. He went back to the room. No one knew he left.

[@SmackedyDoo]

When I was around 6 I jumped into the pool from the high dive because I was completely convinced that I could simply teach myself to swim from watching other kids who swam I jumped and sank to the bottom. I did all of the moves that I saw other children doing on the way down but it didn't work. So I sat at the bottom of the pool trying to figure out what to do until the lifeguard jumped in and pulled me out.

[@PhilBurns-oc2vg]

After i had been diagnosed,i found out that my normal anxiety levels were at the same level of people who go to the doctor but these videos explain to me more than the specialists can because we're are on the same level which even with all their training, they can't even begin to comprehend

[@MVance-k9p]

Interesting subject. I've witnessed and engaged in elopement while not knowing the term for it or its connection with autism.

[@lolieware1955]

Wow after this video I can now put a name to how I cope. My car has always been my sanctuary and I have certain driving routes that bring me back to centre and make me feel safe when situations at home make me feel unsafe. Even when I move house I now realise for the first few months I would drive around to find what I can now call my elopement routes. Each route has their own special quality whether it be the view, a destination, length or a perfect circle to bring me home. My late diagnosis has changed my life in all the really good ways and understanding this is one of them. Thank you xx

[@CheekieCharlie]

This is so important. If you google this it just comes up with kid stuff. I hate that feeling of "aah i need to run somewhere i dont know where not here"

[@floridaLise]

This used to drive my mate crazy. He liked me to be by his side constantly, 24/7, and I was in love with him and didn't have any other friends, so this worked fine for us until I got the creative urge to go to places like thrift stores or Goodwill to look for things to make a project with. I liked costuming, home decorating, sewing, reading, painting woodcarving, mosaics, etc. etc. Really! These places were somewhere I could literally get lost in time with. He made me use a cell phone. I would not have one if he did not buy one for me and when I would get that call from him, I knew I was in trouble, I knew I had blown my chance to let him that I was okay and just lost track of time. He would be so angry with me because I had been gone for hours without "checking in" every once in a while. I'd feel so guilty, coming home, he'd be standing on the porch with his hands on his hips and an angry look on his face ... I'd feel like I was seven years old again and I would be "punished" with the guilt of being such a selfish and uncaring girlfriend as he would not talk to me for hours, sometimes days. I can't imagine being someone's mate again after I have had absolute freedom to be on my own in my own little world. Of course, this didn't happen overnight. Losing him was the most dreadful event I've ever had to deal with in my whole life. For the most part, I'd just lie in bed all day and only do what I had to do for my pet tortoise. I did not feel "free" until about six years after his death. I'm all alone now and sometimes it gets to me because, "too much of a good thing can be WEIRD". Overall, I am very happy now because I don't hurt anyone with my senseless acts of disappearing.

[@SmackedyDoo]

@@floridaLise I'm sorry. This story was sad.

[@SilentThundersnow]

That wasn't too much of a good thing. The guy was abusive af. Not speaking to someone to punish them is abusive. You didn't owe it to him to 'check in' in the first place. You weren't 7, and he wasn't your parent. I'm sorry he put you through that.

[@juliesmith6228]

I think you deserve the freedom to be >>yourself

[@floridaLise]

@@SmackedyDoo I'm sorry. Let me tell you a joke. ... Batman often thought about going fishing, but something was stopping him. What was the reason?

[@floridaLise]

@@SilentThundersnow As a person with autism, I can assure you that he was very patient and there were many things that seemed abusive to him that I did. I miss him dearly. I understand why he behaved this way, and I was very grateful to have him in my life. But thank you for defending my sense of freedom, I can see how this may seem harsh.

[@stephenie44]

When I was 2, my mom would take me on walks around the neighborhood and told me I should never go on my own because she didn’t want me to get lost. WELL I took that at face value, studied the layout of the neighborhood, and at 2 1/2 when everyone was busy and I was bored, decided a walk sounded nice! I knew the path, so I knew I wouldn’t get lost - ergo, I didn’t need my mom. And out I went. Mind you, this was a 45 minute walk route through the neighborhood… about 30 minutes later, I happened upon one of my neighbors also out on a walk (he was part of my search party…), and was confused and annoyed that I had to head back home with him, because the usual route had one more street to wander down. We got home and I was completely shocked my parents were in tears and distraught by my absence. Didn’t they know I wouldn’t wander off AND GET LOST, because they’d warned me against that? They then had to explain to me very specifically that even in our safe neighborhood, there are other potential dangers (like what?!), and I cannot ever leave the house without letting mom or dad know where I am going. I remember that day and my thoughts very vividly.

[@candice5460]

I too recall having similar thoughts and convincing myself I could ride my trike around the block of our military base housing and find my way back. But unlike you, when I got to a corner, I panicked and turned around, then realizing that I had no idea which home was mine because they all looked the SAME! - a bunch of simple white houses all exactly alike. I headed back the same way I had come, when it suddenly struck me that MY house was NOT a matching color! It was the only yellow house! Thank goodness. I was 2 and I think this was the first time I really noticed colors matching or not, and maybe that is why I remember this experience so well.

[@nomadicprepper8594]

Wow!! I have never heard this term before but it literally explains my entire life til now. As a child I had dreams of running away with the circus that came into my small town every year. At age 21 I moved to the USA from Brazil to escape the life I was living there, seeking more adventures! Every year I would move from one city to another when my apartment lease was up. In 2017 I discovered rv life and jumped right in!! With that I was able to combine my need for routine as well as eloping any time I wanted in order to see new places following my special interests, camping, hiking, backpacking, kayaking, laying on the beach…. Its hard to explain to my very small group of friends that I am safe and why I’m already at a new place by the time I let them know where I am. I avoid telling people so no “good byes”, going away lunch or dinners take place cause those only draw more energy from me. I now understand everything and don’t feel so crazy. I’m on my way to Florida from Texas in a week cause I want to spend the New Year’s Eve on the beach with my favorite things to do that night. Nobody knows it yet lol. My summer this year was taken away with work demands in Washington state. It was also too cold for my taste. Now I want to just stay warm on various beaches and live it up with nice weather. Trying to explain that to my small circle of friends is the hardest thing. Its so simple to me though. So I just pack my camper and go, only to let them know later. I’m 42 yo female and travel with my dog. Some think that is dangerous! 😂

[@mickiofthemountains]

@@nomadicprepper8594 vanlifer! We are all in Quartzsite right now... Gem show and rubber tramp rendevous... Seems a lot of us nomads/off grid types are Neuro Diverse! 😉

[@ThisisPam]

I used to leave the house and climb a tree outside (we lived in the country - miles away from town) or wander through the dark forest just to be away from everyone’s prying eyes and strident voices.

[@alisonwhite9588]

Always!

[@lauraporter3434]

Outstanding! Validating & new info - thanks. HS Teacher & Mom. Exhaustion & nonstop fear...other adults don't help

[@heedmydemands]

❤

[@44070M]

I was diagnosed as an adult and this is so interesting. I always ran away from day care when I was a child. There are so many pieces still falling into place after 15 years with a diagnosis.

[@TheOneLostkin]

Holy Sh*t. I did this on multiple occasions as a kid. My mom always assumed I was running away and would never listen to me explaining, no, I was just going over there.

[@sksk-bd7yv]

We kept our son in harness and a leash. That earned used many unfriendly eyes. But our son disappeared and ate a 3 cm long nail. We later upgraded it to a discreet bracelet. And... His school didn't do their job one december morning, bc our son just walked off our playground. While live in the subarctic. Kinda bad to let a kid wander off - without winter clothes, too. Especially since we told them that this exact thing happened at preschool too. That time he got an (*bad translation attempt*) "ice burn" on one half of his head. Oh, my our son definetly has a very fit and alert guardian angel. Especially... The kid STILL managed to get away from us! Imagine the fear inside anyone babysitting him...

[@alisonwhite9588]

I remember when my parents put a harness on my 2-yo self so I wouldn't disappear and go off exploring again. I still feel the anger and humiliation and very clearly remember my dad and a stranger (lady) laughing at me. I was furious! 😅 Also, so many times I went walkabout - and still do, at 59yo

[@VincentRiquer]

My mother used to have me on a leash (something meant for kids, not a dog leash) because I would always wander off while she was, for example, paying the butcher at the market. And nowadays, when I'm at a concert or something, I can always expect my (also autistic) girlfriend to disappear, without telling me anything. So I'm here, enjoying the show, and all of a sudden "where is she?!". Got used to it now: "she's probably gone ordering a drink or something"😅

[@AuditingWithAutism]

This reminds me of the time my father pulled me back from the brink of certain death when he grabbed my shirt and literally pulled back onto the sidewalk I was stepping off. I was 18. I didn't think it could happen to me until it did.

[@sharonaumani8827]

My friend has a neighbor with a high needs autistic son. I noticed their vehicle has a sticker on their car, giving a brief education about the autistic child and what to do/not do in case of elopement.

[@babybirdhome]

I had no idea there was a word for this or that it's related to autism, but after watching this video I just realized that I've done this my entire life constantly! I used to always get in trouble for wandering off as a kid or not calling to let my mom know where I was or what I was doing or when I planned on being back as a teen once I started driving. As an adult I still do this but I don't know if anyone notices because I'm an adult. I also do it less though since starting working from home during COVID. I actually always used to do this during school from about probably 12 to 14 or so, but I did it so much that apparently nobody noticed until one day I came back to get my lunch before leaving again and then they realized I had been missing and put two and two together and then I couldn't get away with it anymore. I'm so lucky I never died! I did so many really dangerous and questionable things! I'm also lucky that I never got any emergency services involved. Wow, what an eye opener! I just had never thought about this at all! I'm kind of in shock actually because only now does it register how constantly I did this growing up! I would wander MILES away from where I was supposed to be or expected to be, but I was decent at knowing I needed to be somewhere else eventually and was also "lucky" my caregivers were frequently not on the expected schedule themselves so it worked out more often than not. Wow man, I've surely burned through way more than my allotment of good luck in my life long ago!

[@laura.bseyoga]

I've always been more likely to hide than elope - I've been found crammed into some very tiny spaces before!! 💚

[@asaldanapr]

I live in Orlando, Central FL, USA, and we have lakes, ponds and retention ponds all over and near everything, including playgrounds. In November and early December we had three autistic children drownings because their parents took their eyes off of them for more than a second and they ran off.

[@ohhimark742]

This makes sense, I was seeing another channel where a mother talked about how worried she was knowing her teenage son was awake at night and it didn't make sense to me. But if she's had experiences with him unexpectedly leaving without predictable reason or notice then it makes sense she would be afraid to sleep knowing he's awake

[@ksparks689]

I had never heard of of this, but my daughter when she was a toddler ran away from us all the time! She would leave the house, run across fields when we were outside, and would try to disappear in stores. We put high latches with bells on doors to try to keep her in. Once I caught her with a broom handle trying to push the latch. She disappeared down the road alone at a church event when she was two. I was always exhausted because she wouldn’t nap and I couldn’t turn my back on her. I never trusted a babysitter to watch her. Her childhood was very stressful on me, I’m so glad she survived childhoodn!

[@MVance-k9p]

Without realizing that I'm doing it, after I was an adult, I would suddenly and quietly seclude myself in different ways. I used to find my way to a location, sitting in the car and watching the sunlight twinkle on the ocean waves at a local beach. After some time passed, I would suddenly realize that my wife was trying to contact me because she didn't know where I went. It was a time of emotional stress that would trigger those events for me.

[@Mrs.Silversmith]

I will never forget the Thanksgiving (about 15yrs ago) where my brother and I spotted a confused looking 7-year-old wandering through a busy street in our area. We pulled the car over and my brother had to carry him off the road and onto the sidewalk. We then waited with him until the police arrived to pick him up. He was nonverbal autistic and likely had left his house in a busy moment. We were so happy nothing bad happened to him, but it could have been quite different.

[@farsouthfungi]

Wow thanks Orion, you help me make sense of needing to get out of emotional situations. Huge , sad but good, eye opener at 53. I think I know myself and I know nothing, thankyou ❤

[@ritarevell7195]

At about age 2, I had a penny or two someone gave me, or I found laying around. There was a little convince store across the street on the corner. I knew they had penny candies there, and I wanted a candy. So I left the house, crossed the street and went to walk up the stairs to the store. Or that was my plan. I had made this trip with my siblings often enough. So I had a plan. (This is the portion I remember myself). The road was wide, and busy, and some kind person stopped and picked me up. Somehow from there I ended up at the local police department. Where they kindly fed me peanuts (Mom made sure to let me know that is not a good thing for little girls), and located my family. (This is the part I have been told, but I don’t remember). My sister was babysitting me that day, so she got into trouble for not taking care of me (mind you, she was only 10 years older than I, so she was like 12 years old). She cared for me EVERYDAY. I had not done this kind of thing before, and it hurts to think she got into trouble because of me. The story was always related as “the time Rita ran away.” But honestly, I just wanted some candy. I wasn’t trying to get anyone in trouble-it didn’t dawn on me to get permission to go. I was oblivious to my need to assistance. It was a nightmare for everyone else. Didn’t know I’m autistic until much later in my life.

[@voska7390]

Age 2 I did that too. Store was an avenue away. My parent knew store owner. So I show up with few Pennies and she would call my mother.

[@ritarevell7195]

@voska7390 AH, those were kinder, happier times. We were blessed by kind people and thoughtful strangers. And guardian angels!

[@ShadoeLandman]

Really, at that age a lot of NTs probably wander off, too, because they’re too young to understand danger.

[@ritarevell7195]

@@ShadoeLandman I agree.

[@MNkno]

Ah.. what some foreign-language students expressed as "I absented myself". I apparently did it as a child, did it a LOT as a teenager (twice, leaving a note in my mom's purse giving the time and place where I'd reappear, to prevent trouble), and when my younger son would do it, I understood it even though it didn't make watching him zipping down the street in the middle of automobile traffic on his lil' push-car as a 3-yr old any easier. He climbed to the top of the water tank on top of our apartment building, a hysteric neighbor alerted me. *sigh*.. I had a light leash/harness that I clipped him into when we went out shopping, etc... and I told those who complained that it was better than under the wheels of a bus. What did help him learn about "risk" and "injury" was putting him on roller skates before he was 4. His grandmother had a fit, but it worked.

[@sksk-bd7yv]

Could you do a vid on the 2e profile? Twice Exceptional = should be in gifted/talented AND special needs, but often gets overlooked and ends all classes in a bang. It certainly applies to me. But the neurology driving it seem to promise many clues to the toddler brain's constant pruning. But it's all very early, and info hard to come buy. In any case - much 💚💚💚 for your holidays.

[@SilentThundersnow]

Yeah that describes my daughter. She was the most brilliant child. Everything she touched, she was gifted at it. The gifted teacher told me in kindergarten that she was a prodigy, and that she couldn't put her in the gifted program until 2nd grade tho. She was writing stories of several pages by then. She was doing multiplication, she was an artist and played several instruments well, including perfect pitch singing, teaching herself all of these things. For fun, she would sit on my lap and ask me for harder and harder words to spell. That teacher gave me such a gift, because she warned me that I was going to need to be ready for the emotional challenges that were coming. At the time, I didn't notice anything except anxiety if I was late. The teacher said 'a brain doesn't get turned up that high without everything being turned up high. Start reading books about it now. ' At age 10 the crippling OCD hit, as my daughter started thinking thoughts too big for her to work through. That was the first signs of autism but we didn't know it then. Soon she wasn't able to stand the feel of the chair or the lights, etc etc. Her life has been cursed and blessed by it.

[@helenaskew4851]

Orion you are making me think of my childhood and adulthood. Being at home has been my safe place since childhood. I have eloped in the past in different places.

[@Lisdodde]

It seems to me that autism mostly comes down to not finding all (or any of) our emotional safety and attention and interest in belonging/relating/fitting in/to social structures, as NT’s seem to do. That causes us to not be susceptible to the invisible social forces typically used to keep children ‘in line’ and physically safe. Like asking an authority figure before you do something new, that’s not instinctive for us at all. It’s sad that our societies and environments have become so much less safe for children to explore on their own. My dad used to get lost in the fields and not answer his mum when she was searching for him, and climbed out of his window to play on the roof, which was already pretty unsafe in the 50’s probably. My parents decided to rush my swimming lessons when I jumped into the deep end, and mostly my parents focused on responsibility and safety awareness in our upbringing in the 80’s. That worked pretty well, at least we’re all still alive despite exploring the world plenty (and managed to choose good husbands instead of bad boys, because I’m sure there are vulnerabilities there too). I often feel that I actually really like not being as susceptible to group think and worrying about my social standing all the time as NT’s, but it’s also sad that it creates such a big double empathy-> communication problem, and an ongoing worsening of a society/environment created for the opposite of what would suit us. (I find keeping my explorer children safe online a pretty hefty challenge in this day and age as well!)

[@clairepurcell7577]

I think/feel this way too!

[@Lisdodde]

@ isn’t it baffling how they keep trying to push you to get your emotional regulation from ‘supportive sounding cliches’ from other people, or keep telling you that ‘your children will feel safer if you set stricter boundaries’ when that’s never, ever worked for you? The fact that ‘it’s a proven method’ only means that there’s a statistically significant effect found over large numbers of people, most of whom are likely neurotypical. It says nothing about your n=1 case as a neurodivergent person/family.

[@RoweSandberg]

I have ASD and PTSD but this isn't part of my spectrum, however it was part of a past friend/boss of mine. His aunt was taking him and her own kids to some kind of event in the City (Stockholm) and was told to never let him (at 4 yo) off his leish/harness. However his aunt felt so affected by people's stares while in the crowded underground station that she let him loose. Seconds later he was waving goodbye to them from a departing train off the other side of the platform. He was found 2 hours later at a police station down the line, safe and sound.

[@CherrysJubileeJoyfully]

I've done this. Police were called the report was falsified and I was sent to inpatient

[@rabbitbunny136]

oof.. hope ur alr now

[@autisticMargo]

Excellent topic and great video.

[@Broken_robot1986]

Thank you Mr Kelly. It's so crazy to keep hearing myself be described. It's been a wild year since beginning to identify myself as autistic. My wondering off behavior has always puzzled those around me.

[@plastic-box]

Oh yeah. This is impossible to explain to nts. My adult son runs into both bodies of water and traffic (both car and train!). Also restaurant kitchens, off-limits areas in hospitals, any behind-the-scenes parts of any otherwise public space you can name... It was cute when he was small.

[@Hermitthecog]

Evidently I've lived most of my life in one form of elopement or another, having frequently relocated home and/or employment, relationships, and friendships. It's only since my late diagnosis that I've finally been able to be left alone as much as I actually *need* to, affording me the apparent luxury and privilege to just BE. That said, my favourite elopement episode was leaving a school trip specifically because the supervising teachers had said, "If you're not there at X o'clock, we go home without you." I took that as permission to go off exploring, not realizing that it would ultimately hold up the entire class for several hours after because the teachers weren't actually prepared (or legally allowed) to follow through on their threat. (Teachers, don't try to scare or dare your autistic students into behaving if you want their respect, because they WILL defy you on principle.)

[@ninkasi2788]

I used to get lost so much as a child. To this day, I just wander off to do my own thing. I did not realize this can be due to autism but it makes so much sense. So much validation in this video, thank you so much

[@Hamrosia]

I remember having to make a tough choice when I was younger because my lil sister (who doesn’t have autism) was in the deep end of the pool she was staying afloat by splashing and I looked over at my lil brother (has autism)(was younger than my lil sister) had jumped off the steps at the pool entrance and ended up at the bottom of the shallow end while I was being shouted at to go help my sister I went to help my brother and got him out of the water while my sisters friend at the time helped her then I was being shouting at about why I didn’t help my sister and I shouted back because I didn’t want my brother to drown in the pool and I think they believed me because he was soaked head to toe

[@carmencarter9549]

I'm so thankful for your show, this topic of v I've v that needs to educated. My son who is also non verbal issues adventurous and a regular eloper, /the statistics priority rule of my life was just hearing members breaks my heart impossible to not strike fear me. I have to just give it to God unless I have a control over nothing any way. You described how I have known my son to be. I I struggled to find words to explain these two people who are trying to help take care of him. This is so perfect thank you

[@ShekinahGwaii]

About age 7 the extended fam visited Candlestick Park SF I apparently wandered off, and they left. When I saw the car was gone, my instinct was to seek adult help, which was the highway. I flagged down a big white van with no windows, and the gruff man driving had a German Shepherd and another child. He dropped me off at a precinct, where my parents arrived soon after. This was in the 70s

[@ShekinahGwaii]

I was really into the seashells on the sand, looking at all the variations, and they didn't count noses 😢 it was an experience, no bad feelings

[@jimwilliams3816]

I can’t resist replying because of the location you cited. I eloped in Golden Gate Park in about 1986. I was 25 or thereabouts.

[@ShekinahGwaii]

@@jimwilliams3816 guess it hasn't lost its allure 😋

[@jan2351]

I never expected to get so much validation in a video about elopement. My first memory is drowning in a neighbors pool. Runaway bride? Never tried it but Runaway Relationships and Runaway Jobs I’m a pro. I escaped group projects. I am constantly escaping…. I have eloped to far away states. This was all bad behavior, BPD, until recently Dx autistic. I’ve been in therapy my whole adult life trying to fix myself. My family disowned me when we went on vaca and I spent too much time in my room. I’m excited to meet people who accept me as I am as I learn to accept myself as I am and ways to work with the autism rather than against it. Your content is consistently spot on and I’m looking forward to reading your books.

[@dubuyajay9964]

Very big on swimming lessons. Big yes. Definitely. Especially since you talked about autists having joint pain. Safety and a form of exercise that gives some degree of relief from fighting gravity.

[@ShadoeLandman]

They put me in swimming lessons, but I didn’t really get taught anything because I could never float. I think I was too thin to float (because I was very active, not underfed). I had to learn to swim from relatives and neighbors.

[@19MadMatt72]

I pace. When I start to pace, I need to go somewhere or meltdown.

[@CelestiaQuixs]

The trait of impulsivity got many of us misdiagnosed as Bipolar or as having Borderline Personality Disorder.

[@the_autistic_system]

Thank you, Orion. This is my child, and me as a kid, too. This video is wonderful. ❤

[@feralnonbinaryautistic]

How I've left every social event ever. Nearly 60.

[@Averyakam]

This sure helps to understand myself better. Thank you!

[@floridaLise]

I also remember a time when I was in first grade. We would have group bathroom breaks. One day I needed a little bit more time to go to the bathroom and everybody had already gone back to class. I knew if I walked into the class so late that the other kids would know that I made a poo and I was EXTREMELY embarrassed about that. So - I panicked, and I walked home, it wasn't too far away from the school and my mother was surprised and said, "What are you doing home?" and I LIED which was very rare - I told her that I was having an asthma attack, and she said, "Well Miss Nida didn't call me?" (school nurse) and she was genuinely confused. I didn't think about that part. I don't remember much after that except being back in class, with my teachers face RIGHT UP TO MINE as she was scolding me and telling me to never do that again. Funny how I remember the names, the only thing I could think about in my mind at the time she was yelling at me was, "Miss Johnson has whiskers on her chin!"

[@MVance-k9p]

That's interesting. I would also have the disconnected observations in certain moments like that. I think I did it as a form of detachment to avoid the intensity of the emotions that would ultimately overwhelm me if I didn't focus on something else.

[@floridaLise]

@@MVance-k9p I understand. A scene comes to mind but don't let yourself think that this pertains to you as a child. I was recently spending time with a seven-year-old that I dearly love and when he was misunderstood and overwhelmed, he bolted to the bathroom and cried. He is being trained to be a man and not to cry (unfortunately). As an outsider this is sad but wanting to make the parent feel like changing their ways would only exasperate the situation and possibly sever our relationship. It's times like these when we know from experience, but we cannot say a word.

[@MotherMoon1]

I’ve always felt different, like I saw the world a little differently than most people. I tend to double-think before I speak, and it sometimes takes me longer to catch onto jokes or understand social cues. In high school, I struggled to communicate with my peers-it was tough to connect. I’m really sensitive to light, and loud noises can be overwhelming for me. When I was younger, I had a hard time expressing myself, which made things even harder. , I’ve only managed to hold a few jobs, and none lasted more than 30 days. It’s been an interesting journey, for sure. So now I’m here on KZbin Thanks for the video also I’m self diagnosed

[@kathrenalmaguer]

I'm 39 and I realized I have undiagnosed autism about 4years ago. I've done this autistic elopement. I didn't know what it was or why it was happening, but it was autistic elopement. Most recently it was at an appointment. I needed oral surgery from a person I didn't know at all. I ended up walking miles around town for over an hour just trying to escape that experience and find a safe place. Thank you for explaining this.

[@kairon156]

I remember being dumped/dropped off at a soccer game. Me as a very introverted mute kid with comunication issues gallore suddenly surrounded by strangers everywhere wanting me to play soccer, a game I haven't even heard of before than. I eloped back to my dad's house, All I knew is that it was a block away from the schools and those were up the hill from the scoccer fields. I get overloded eaisly and I feel I have Dispraxia issues too. So it's no wonder I ran off from the strange game called soccer when the teams switched sides, I never even knew what team I was on. Plus I was more than happy to play nintendo at home by my self. Thankfully in my late teens I did find some nerdy friends who played videogames and table top games with. Way more my speed and less active. --- In my late 20's I was able to live in a city and use google maps to explore and have fun without family or people who already knew me around. I realize now days that I was either withdrawn and dissociating or hyper vigilent while growing up and always wearing a stiff mask to not express myself. In general I don't have major impulses due to being so timid of real life. But I have noticed moments of impulse actions from time to time. Like walking a path I never seen before; but knowing it's still in town it felt safe enough. --- Party baloons are also annoying because they may pop and cause me to properly cringe at the sound. I like the colours but hate the noise. I'm also learning I have a fair bit of demand avoidance built up in me. I wish I had a safe quiet space growing up and felt like the few times I spoke was properly listened to by others. Instead of being invalidated humph. My home growing up was so chaotic and dysfunctional when my parents got a dog I basically locked myself in my room from that moment onwords. The house was no longer a safe space for me. To this day them getting a dog without listening to me when I said I don't like dogs was so bad I moved out long before I was mentally ready to. --- The main safety "lessons" I recall hearing from my parents was dad telling me knives are sharp and they don't care about who they cut due to being objects. Thus I have a low key fear about cooking and knife safety. At least he got traffic safety right. Generally I use 110% allertness when trying to cross the street by myself. I wish Social Studies a high school class where I live, it teaches things about business and misc stuff like finance but if it was actually about Social stories and studdying social "norms" I would of actually learned something useful. That stop/walk sign still gives me a moment of pause and ignoring my natural urge to just stop and I'm in my 30's now.

[@tessarotmify]

Nice to have a word for my need to just go sometimes.

[@the_autistic_system]

Autistic elopement is almost always goal-driven. Curiosity. Good example for online forums. Kids go for the special interest, but in a forum of people, there's danger. Sensory overload - leaving the grocery store because of repetitive music. Seeking special interests - recently for my daughter, tornado siren ironically. Good idea to check special interest locations if they are missing as a first place to look. Communication challenges - age regression definitely would affect this in. Routine disruptions = run.

[@joygibbons5482]

I eloped from my marriage 33 years ago, overwhelmed and unable to explain what was wrong. Never went back, but my diagnosis in October this year has allowed me to make sense of it and explain what happened to my former husband. We now understand each other better.

[@alllscination]

So interesting, thank you! I had never heard of it before. I used to think about running away as a child so much to escape my parents constant fighting and the overstimulating social interaction with them in general but my level of anxiety was always pretty high. Even as a little girl I thought I can't be out alone especially if it gets dark. As a woman we have a constant baseline of fear we live with. It's probably different for boys and men. I can remember my father who I suspect is autistic as well constantly running off in the rare moments we used to do something as a family especially on holiday. It used to drive my mother nuts because it left her having to deal with everything alone on top of finding him again. I really see this topic being relevant for me when it comes to traffic. It still scares me. Wearing noise cancelling headphones and listening to music really helps me when it comes to this which is probably very counterintuitive for an allistic person. The noise reduction lessens the overstimulation and that lowers the risk of me being inattentive in traffic because I'm just focusing on one thing to drown out the too much and therefor overlooking danger.

[@lunamoondrop]

i hid under my bed at my own party once.

[@Sky-Child]

Oh so many times

[@whitneymason406]

My son elopes. It is particularly scary with nonspeakers. My son eloped last summer. Calling out his name with no response was terrifying. Thank you for sharing this video! 💞

[@Curiosity.did.not.kill.thecat]

Freaked out when my dog did this,I cannot even imagine my kid doing this 😱 Hope you are allright after that.

[@whitneymason406]

@Curiosity.did.not.kill.thecat thank you 💞 we were very traumatized and definitely got heavy duty locks and cameras after that.

[@SoOkThenLetsGo]

This video is amazing- it totally describes my son’s behavior in his group home settling. He takes off on his own bc he is headed to something the was having difficulty articulating. Or sometimes too impatient to wait… I’ve never had this specific information bundled up and ready to forward to his program manager

[@wesleywaddell4659]

54 and just finding out I am autistic. As a 37 year old adult (before knowing I was autistic) I became so uncomfortable in my life I ran away from home and disappeared and stopped talking. I now know why. Meltdown, Burn out, shutdown and elopement. I'm surprised that there wasn't enough awareness for my family and loved ones to know what it was. I think it might be time to tell my story because most people just think I was crazy because at the time I was in a rock band that was on the verge of hitting it big time and to them I just threw it all away. For me the idea of becoming popular terrified me and all the masking for social interacting just became way too much to handle on the road touring for sure with interviews and all. I felt like a child running away and hiding but that's what I did at 37 years old! It felt so freeing and I became someone else for awhile or should I actually say someone more like myself.

[@MVance-k9p]

A good parent, guardian or friend will do whatever it takes to keep the person they're caring for safe. Guide, train, condition and educate.

[@andyb0000]

One of my mum's favourite stories to recount is when I left the house aged about 5 with my friend. Crossed a major road and went to the local park. Apparently I told her a lady shouted at us from a car. They found us quickly as some girls. I liked the slide at the park.

[@rose-mariedekoning8471]

I remember vividly one time in my teens. I think I was in high school: I was still living at home and it was my birthday, but we weren't celebrating it with a party anymore (my choice, hello autism). I wasn't diagnosed yet, that happened at 24 during university. My special interest at the time was Harry Potter. I would read it, reread it, read fan fiction, post on forums, etc. My mum hates reading and really didn't understand why I loved it so much. Couple that with an aversion to magic and fantasy and you have recipe for disaster. I was trying really hard to convey/explain how much it meant to me and how important it was to me. I wasn't getting through to her and she even said I should 'stop reading that nonsense and do something useful'. At that point we'd been arguing for a few minutes and I was completely overwhelmed by my feeling of not being understood. I had a meltdown and I did NOT want to cry and do that in front of her. I knew she'd be all over me if I stayed in the house, so I ran out. I just had to get away to a quiet place to be alone and cry. That could NOT be anywhere on our property, so I ran to the graveyard further up the street. (No street crossings) Yep, my need to have my meltdown away from her caused me to elope.

[@mammajamma4959]

At first I was like, I dont need this info. Then I went back in time all the times my two boys eloped. and how I cant resist the urge sometimes. My nephew recently eloped twice and almost didnt come home. Thanks Orion, I didnt even know what I didnt know!

[@resourcedragon]

"I'm not formally diagnosed as autistic. Maybe I'm just misinterpreting some things and I'm not really." Meanwhile, thinking back to my childhood: I'd just have to see a large body of water and I'd be running towards it. Cossie optional. Even after I learned to swim I might have been known to go for a swim in my clothes (I was aware by that stage that running around in the altogether was not socially acceptable.)

[@nightshadegiggle]

Omg I can relate to this when I was a kid while growing up.. I had wandered off without telling my parents or guardian where I was going, then I got yelled at for not letting them know. I thought that this was just something parents do.

[@AcademicOmnifarious]

I apparently did this when I was two years old. I followed the family dog out for a walk. My parents had all the neighbours out looking for me and even some random teenagers (the 80s where a different era). I then walked back home still following the family dog hours later and hated all the fuss my parents made over me lol. My parents at the time were building my childhood home so it was probably really loud.

[@josephmartin1540]

Definitely a required topic for caregivers and parents and should be part of ALL curriculum intending to help them. As an almost 68 year old “low support needs” man, I’ve done this for all the reasons since I could walk (my parents added locks and latches all about the house. My 4 low support kids have/do so, and my high needs brother… still a big part of the 24/7 care he requires. We have some traumatic stories.

[@j.rinker4609]

I got lost during field camp. I was looking for a quiet spot to relieve myself, but was asked if I was going for a walk, so I said yes, and went without water. I followed the river channel, but then I saw an old cabin, and soon I was turned around after checking out the cabin. I got a lot of cheat grass seeds in my socks, but got up on a hill so I could see the road and found my way back to camp, very thirsty, and no one had missed me.

[@Wildbat24]

As many others here I'm an ausistic adult with a car but when I go out in a car (In most cases) I get this barrier which stops me from getting overwhelmed as easily e.g., I can talk to people and be happy but if I'm stressed before I go out in my car I don't have that barrier and it's difficult.

[@rita.amstlv]

Thank you so much for all those good videos that you have made! Lots of things there that I regocnice. I wish you all great New Year 2025! 🍀🌠🎉💐☃️🕊️🕊️🕊️

[@chinatosinthiti3076]

Wait, is this a thing too? All my life from kids to adulthood there were times I just ran away, usually when there's relationship conflicts or having to make decisions I'm not ready to.

[@juliesmith6228]

Both hubby & I loved exploring in our wide eyed wonder way! Seeking space AWAY from people 💞

[@leilap2495]

One of my kids has eloped a lot. It’s usually to seek places he likes, especially in nature, or attempt to run into a road. I feel very fortunate that he has stayed safe for all these years, but it’s a constant concern. I don’t trust most people to watch him. He’s even eloped from school.

[@Eluderatnight]

I'd say its mental defragmentation or demand avoidance for me.

[@Lovehandels]

Wow...I feel like I've been eloping most my life xD

[@ajrt_2118]

Well, this puts into perspeective three things I remember doing as a child one of which resulted in me being hit by an 18 wheeler at 4 years old.

[@cammie49]

My husband and I were tree climbers. It’s quiet and hidden and just a different world up in a tree. Nobody can see you…but you can keep an eye on your family if the tree is close to the house. Our son also spent a huge amount of time high up in trees. Our biggest problem was OTHER parents freaking out and thinking we were bad parents for letting our 8 year old hang out at the top of a tree. They said he wasn’t safe up there…but we knew he was!

[@carpdog42]

I find myself relating to this quite a bit though with a more ADHD sort of perspective, just that curiosity for me usually. I don't leave real safety seeking a sense of safety, I ignore safety/lose connection to my group from interest. Some interesting thing will stop me in my tracks as they move, or send me off as they stop. I can be captivated by a novel thing for hours. I suspect I am also autistic, and I do get overwhelmed, but I tend to more endure and shut down. Only with a bit of age and experience did I realize that removing myself temporarily from situations was good for me. When I was younger, I hung out with the smokers, even though I never smoked. As I got older, I realized smokers often have ADHD too. Now I realize, smokers are the people who take frequent 5 minute breaks outside in very small groups. Only now do I see why that was really good for me.

[@sarahjensen2473]

My son was a serial eloper, like I was. He would go away, while I tended to hide around the house. I have friends who still do this in their 40s, just like I do, so it's important to plan in risk reduction.

[@grandy_rho]

The first time I remember doing this was at 7 when my class traveled to the big city science museum. At the end of the day when they were doing their head count on the bus, they discovered I was missing and one of the chaperones had to go back in and find me. I was fascinated and that trip set off my special interest in science, but my teacher was pretty mad at the time

[@angel_vii]

We had to lock our toddler in his room at night, or else we would never get any sleep. He got out the front door by himself in the middle of the night 3 times before we finally realized that as much as we hated to lock him in his room, it was the only way to keep him safe, and us also be able to sleep. He was Houdini. If he could reach a lock, he'd crack it. He had to be locked in where he couldn't access the lock. I'm sooooo glad we're through that. It was a rough few years. His 2am elopement is better redirected now.

[@brittca]

When I first clicked on this... I was like... "what is wrong with the fact I eloped in a forest with only 2 witnesses 10 years ago?" lol Brilliant video, thanks for bringing something new to my understanding of autism!

[@Sungod0502]

I remember as a kid I use to just up and leave from class and in the playground all the time. I remember going off to the back of the playground with all the trees (the forest area) instead of the concrete area where all the teachers are watching. I don’t think I was ever near being killed but the forested area was right next the street, only covered by a fence so if I was there on my own as a small child and someone outside the fence saw me, all I’m saying is I’m glad no sketchy stranger ever tried to talk to me behind that fence. I use to call it hiding and I’d only elope at school because the school was so overwhelming and the Forrest area was calming and fun