This Marine Fought Russians in Ukraine - Here's What He Saw.

SUBMIT A STORY: azeal.me/submit
PREORDER THE PLUSHIE: azeal.me/plushie
Support the channel: azeal.me/patreon
Twitter: azeal.me/twitter
I met a combat medic who spent eight years in the US Marine Corps. After finishing his time there, he watched with the rest of the world as Russia's horrific and unjustified invasion of Ukraine began. Unlike most, however, he decided to purchase his own plane ticket and equipment to join the frontlines in the war against a terrorist state. He told me his story in VRChat.

[@gman8769]

Your battle buddy cracking LOTR jokes to you shortly before being engaged by a Russian scouting unit really shows he is a great gem of a person. I hope he is okay.

[@kittydaddy2023]

He definitely lost his phone. The only phone numbers I have memorized is my mom's and my own.

[@TheDudeMaaaan]

@@kittydaddy2023 Hes fucking dead

[@kaiserluch9322]

@@kittydaddy2023 Yo u got discord? From a fellow Marine I'll listen.

[@nejsonsvejson9861]

You mean orks? That is a suprisingly common term in ukraine right now. Not really lotr reference, more meant as dehumanizing. Like calling your enemy fleshbags or bulletmagnets

[@kaiserluch9322]

@@nejsonsvejson9861 Somebody didnt watch the full video

[@titantanic7255]

People just keep forgetting how horrible war really is

[@StupitVoltMain]

Yeah

[@Azeal]

Yep..

[@titantanic7255]

@@Azeal and then they decide that it’s a good idea to start a new one

[@wootska]

@@titantanic7255 Some really don't realize how bad war is until they're in one

[@ncrranger8449]

@@balldropper3423 no it’s really not sometimes it’s necessary but it usually isn’t needed

[@Southerly93]

Minor correction. There is no such thing as an ex-marine. Once a marine always a marine InB4 "It'S iN ThE fIrSt SeCoNdS oF ThE ViDiO" this correction was to the title of the video which has since been graciously edited by Azael

[@Azeal]

You know what, true.

[@luiscuellar685]

Dishonorable discharge

[@Casokat]

@@balldropper3423 You aren't even considered a soldier with a DD, you were never one

[@AggressiveSpaghetti]

a retired marine

[@camobranson09]

@@balldropper3423 In the military a DD wipes your entire reputation with them. It is as if you were never there. Got a friend who was dishonorably discharged for some allegations he didn't have enough proof against.

[@dallasboricua21c]

This was amazing... thank you for talking about it. As a Nam Infantry vet... this helped me a lot. I was you in parts of your story and relived memories that have laid dormant. Thank you, thank you...

[@Azeal]

Hello sir, firstly thank you for your service. Secondly, if you have any interest at all in meeting me for a video similar to this, you may contact me over Discord at Azeal#0001, or over email at [e-mail], I would love to meet you. Thank you for the comment!

[@andrewcruz7595]

Thankyou both for putting yourselves on the line

[@Ghostrecall_M]

Thank you for your service.

[@FatherTito]

i have the UPMOST respect for Nam vets like you and your brothers, thank you for your service.

[@dallasboricua21c]

@@FatherTito To the last man, I can attest that we seek nothing but appreciation for what we had to do when we were called upon and to come home to raise our families and live a meaningful life. Some of us did that. Thank you for your kind words.

[@ryancarter7655]

With four deployments to the Middle East under my belt, I cried when he talked about the Estonian not messaging him back and not knowing if his Brother is still alive over there, I hope he knows he’s not alone in those thoughts and just remember why you called him your brother and keep that memory of him close, it’s a lot healthier to celebrate those close to you than to stay stuck in the what it grieving.

[@rohesilmnelohe]

AFAIK, two Estonians have fallen in UA. And i know there was a big deal of one of us getting awarded, by Zelensky and he saying that he wont come to accept it for he did not want to leave his unit alone. Wanted to recieve it once his unit was rotated out.

[@tallinhogan8303]

This has sadly happened to a friend of mine serving in the UA army, he was in a mine clearing unit and sadly 2 months ago he went radio silent.. sadly even though i know his name and his sons name I'm unable to find him and the embassy has told me they dont have any information if hes alive or dead.. praying hes still out there pulling tincans out the ground

[@GeloLego99]

@meatpilot5077 nothing to be thankful for

[@decespugliatorenucleare3780]

still a minor price to hope for a future where ukrainian kids can be free to be homosexual

[@BIGFOOT-ENT.]

​@@decespugliatorenucleare3780 I'm not saying freedom of sexual orientation isn't important but thats just about the least important thing for any child in Ukraine right now. Also there is a lot more to life than your sexuality!

[@mrotherguy7781]

My high school class had a Ukrainian exchange student in it, I wont forget that the day the invasion started, she didnt come to school. I always hated my first period teacher because he would constantly pester her about it, he'd start the day out like "did you hear any news from home? i hear your hometown has been occupied" and shit like that, nobody liked him because he was always bothering her about it. it felt like he was trying to be welcoming and make her talk about her problems but he was trying in all the wrong ways, I hope she's OK now, I havent seen her in a while

[@unknown20005]

oh i already don’t have respect for alot of teachers if i heard that i would of straight up slapped that teacher and dragged them across there own desk

[@mrotherguy7781]

@@unknown20005 he was like 76, he got fired at the end of the year anyways

[@tailgunner2]

Let's be fair about this. Especially given his age. I was in middle school when the Berlin wall collapsed and so did the Soviet Union. A Ukrainian family moved in next door and gave us a glimpse of life was like out there in the old Soviet bloc. I can forgive an American that age to be that curious of the events today. Now that I'm thinking of it, I wondered how many "Americans" fighting in Ukraine were borne from Ukrainian refugees that emigrated to the U.S.?

[@michaelpelzek8882]

Yeah it sounds like he meant no harm but there's a generational divide I don't think he meant harm. But I can imagine it would be the same thing as asking a soldier if they ever killed somebody it's just not appropriate.

[@leadontaste7261]

That worth a whoop-ass even from Russian POV.

[@JustinWillisDevil240Z]

My father is a Gulf War veteran, when he gave me "The Talk" about joining he told me not to join. Not because of the dangers of combat itself but things the US military do to you, things like toxic burn pits and how awful the VA is when you get back. Other veterans Azeal has interviewed have had similar stories to my father.

[@Azeal]

It's really sad. Glad he got the chance to tell you the cruel reality.

[@slytouge764]

What do you mean by toxic burn pits?

[@raidermaxx2324]

and yet vets still vote Republican, despite Republicans doing whatever they can to hurt our vets when they get back from war..

[@Kenny-bj2zq]

@@slytouge764 Pits that we used to burn trash and human waste we were just burning it all up and for some caused sickness/disease from breathing in all the chemicals

[@jpnewman1688]

So your dad still didn't know that he fought, killed and will die for BANKERS and Corporations?? 💯💯

[@FlashBombTheGepgun]

[[SPOILERS]] Honestly started tearing up when I realized he started crying over his Estonian friend, it's genuinely an emotionally charged story. I really couldn't take myself away from watching this video. I am happy this guy made it out okay, even if he felt like he should've stayed. Personally speaking, I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of to protect your own life and hold onto the few blessings he still has. This guy is a hero for what he did, even if it didn't seem like much. The mere thought of fighting for another country and risking your life on your own is terrifying. I hope things continue to work out well for him.

[@Azeal]

This is one of the interviews that most impacted me as the interviewer honestly, glad to know others understand that feeling too.

[@couragedoge8644]

@@Azeal my reply got deleted bacause of a link. There are no reported Estonian deaths in Ukraine, some died on both sides before 2022. I have a candidate for his battle buddy, age matches, joined in March. German Barinov. A Russian that lives in Estonia. His stated motivation to fight also matches the friend of the interviewee. Speaks Russian, because he is a Russian. Wounded twice, received award for bravery. Back in Estonia and intends to return as of December 2022. Fought under Kiev too. Served in Estonian armed forces. Now a platoon leader.

[@_bee_1088]

@@couragedoge8644 you know its not all on paper in the war?

[@jessehawkes1298]

Fucking spoiler damn

[@Fastur2]

@@Azeal hi is possible for a summary, or transcript to be available

[@Wrathfist]

An American who knows history. Pure gold.

[@Mountain8ear]

I know it always sounds shallow to hear, but you are loved brother, even by people that have never met you. You're stronger than you know.

[@Azeal]

So true 🧡

[@lawi267]

Marine if you're reading this. You are no coward, there is millions of people who could never imagine the self sacrifice you offered. The Ukrainian people appreciate you, remember how excited those people were when they knew you an American was there to help. That helped them that made them feel safe. Thank you.

[@mariobadia4553]

Probably more excited than when their own people come to force their sons to die in the name of zelensky

[@jpnewman1688]

Nah.. This mad dog is just another dumb, stupid animal being used as pawn in 🇺🇸 foreign policy.. 💯💯

[@JohnDoe-vy5hh]

Operator Starsky said it really means a lot to Ukrainians to see people from other countries there to help. It let's them know they are not alone.

[@churblefurbles]

Sacrifice for neocon agendas which have kept us in almost continuous war for 3 decades now, useful tool is more like it. The only thing he helped was to validate the threat on russia's doorstep, which ensures destruction. Consequences never matter to the neocon mind.

[@lawi267]

@@churblefurbles stop reading the conspiracy theories please. We're also taking about one man's sacrifice not the powers at be

[@GamingWithHajimemes]

Really sad how there is still a war going on long enough that it's become clear that it isn't just a miscalculation or a mistake on Russias part, but an actual terrifying act of aggression and war crimes. Weird how they have just not let this go, and my heart goes out to all those affected, even on their side.

[@isaacmcallister5649]

Soldiers are just following orders. Really sad all around. May God be with them and give Russian soldiers with a conscience the strength necessary to dessert the evil cause.

[@Makorze]

@@eauegh7660 Several. 1. Underestimated Ukraine resistance. 2. Underestimated international support for Ukraine 3. Overestimated Russian military. 4. Corruption has crippled Russia more than most people thought, including the Russians themselves.

[@zazaza5295]

Hi there! This is what happening in Donbass since 2014.

[@justinthyme1945]

2014 would like a word since the CIA helped overthrow the elected government of Ukraine. But please keep believing you're freedom fighters.

[@Bori.1776]

I don’t know how you could ever think in any way that invading a country and killing their citizens could ever be a “mistake”

[@codycastillo-rhodes5151]

That man is no coward. He went and fought fully knowing he could lose his job and his life; his part may have been small but it is all of those small parts that bring victory and change history. Marine, you did good.

[@churblefurbles]

He's a fool. Even when his original premise of marching across europe was broken by the fact that russia clearly had not built such an army, he didn't reevaluate his decisions.

[@Erreul]

@@churblefurbles Is that a mlp picture, lmfao.

[@AXharoth]

yes most people wouldnt have the balls to go to war for a day and risk their life

[@danielseaburg9763]

yes he is. he's a coward.

[@radioactivericogaming8281]

​@@danielseaburg9763No man who is willing to carry a weapon for a cause he believes in is a coward, so before you open your mouth and let garbage flow out, check your own courage at the door or kindly stay silent and let the adults talk.

[@roadhouse6999]

Listening to "We Didn't Start the Fire" during an artillery barrage definitely has to be one of the moments of all time.

[@UncontestedV2]

Its funny what will happen to you in combat. I was at an outpost in Iraq and we were taking mortar fire. We had just changed watch and left our guard posts. I was laying in my bed and the other 3 guys who just got off post were doing the same and we audibly came to the consensus that we'd rather die in our beds than trying to go take cover so we just laid in our bunks till the mortars stopped. Thankfully the Insurgents didn't have good enough aim. The compound was two houses that were two stories each with a concrete brick wall between them, it looked like two diamond shapes connected with the wall and the mortars had landed just outside the wall. 6 feet more to the west, they would have landed right on the house we were in, pretty crazy and funny looking back.

[@pootyting3311]

If I am hearing correctly when his experience occurred, the Fallout Boy cover song came out not long after. It is catchy and cathartic for me. 🎶

[@benlex5672]

I think my CO during my time in the Taiwanese military stated it best: Nothing can prepare you for war. The only difference was you'll be more prepared than the others. It's the combination of insanity, and if you have the choice, there's nothing wrong with walking away when it is not your duty.

[@longforgotten4823]

I appreciate this interview. As an oral historian, that does interviews with Veterans from the second world war to the conflicts of today, you did a really good job. As for the young soldier, telling the story more will help you in the long run. And telling the story to others in a friendly environment will help ease the memories and time will help heal.

[@DegeneratePrimate]

Where can i find these interviews with ww2 veterans?

[@Azeal]

thank you so much!! I try my best and your kind words are very reassuring :)

[@longforgotten4823]

@@Mortablunt after we get through all of the survivors of Soviet atrocities, and Russian bombarded targets in modern Ukraine.

[@AshyGr33n]

Love how the guy picked a Frontier Militia Pilot from Titanfall - definitely a fitting choice considering what he's done. Thankfully this channel has been sending the most consistent anti-war message by simply telling how it is: war fucks you up even if you're at the right end of justice, and it's never really over.

[@Azeal]

An anti-war message is EXACTLY what I want to send. Glad it's working 🧡

[@arog3955]

see you on the frontier pilot

[@lukethenuke3000]

Protocol 2: Uphold the mission.

[@theuselessteammate2097]

Get this man a titan

[@thecursedgunman5071]

the map is also where you are taught the tutorial (i forgot its name)

[@M.Mchale]

This interview had me captivated from start to finish. What a humble and amazing character you are. Im happy for you that your life is coming together. Much respect from England 🇬🇧 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[@Azeal]

🧡

[@michaelkilgore8942]

I don't know how authentic this is.

[@dragon_sasha_lwl]

From ukranian to marine: thank you a lot for what you have done! You went to fight for another country, knowing well, that you might not return. You were willing to risk your life to make world a better place, and to save people, you have never met before. Even if we forget about those missions, you just sitting in trenches freed one person, to be able to go on the offensive in another place. And also, I'm sure, the fact that despite all the news, you went to fight, gave hope to every ukranian who saw you. And you can be sure, that you are, and being viewed here as a hero for doing so! Oh, and thak you Azeal for posting these videos! More people thinking about the war means less chance for pro-russian bots to influence them, and thier stance on this issue.

[@Azeal]

🧡🇺🇦

[@Veldtian1]

I would've emailed little Z to just ratify the Minsk Accords he signed, whole thing was completely avoidable.

[@OryxAU]

​@@Veldtian1 Can't trust the word of a con man mate and that's all Putin is.

[@MAHORAGADAOPPSTOPPA]

@@Veldtian1 ukraine didnt abide by the minsk accords either?

[@lyka2000]

WWIII has already started. The quicker we join the fight, the sooner it will be over.

[@Livelaughlimpbizkit]

This dude is such class. He has none of the macho bullshit that so many have. Really good. This and the guy who fought ISIS were amazing. I really hope this dude hears from his friend.

[@Kenny-bj2zq]

The Lord of the Rings quote "You want me to get you a box" had me laughing my ass off - Hence forth I will refer to you as Gimli

[@churblefurbles]

He's the usual delusion, russia clearly didn't have an invasion army ready for war, let alone one to march across europe, so his premises are entirely broken, yet he goes on with the propaganda narrative. As many scholars have already stated plain from chomsky/mearsheimer/buchanan/kissinger, this was the wests doing.

[@erusean8492]

I don't know if this is actually the case here, but if I were to speculate a bit based on personal experience, I feel like people who have been in military or otherwise actual combat tend to be very chill and humble. The pressure and intensity of the experience just desensitizes you to the point where the mundane experiences, however stressful, don't really compare. My military time has made me a very chill person now on the civilian life, and I felt a similar vibe from the guy who fought ISIS and this guy as well. I don't wanna presume, and I definitely didn't experience anything near what those men experienced, but maybe that could be why. There's very little need to need to prove anything to anyone.

[@jamesharrison2763]

This comes from war and killing. You realise the macho act is so fucking bullshit. That difference is what distinguishes the veterans from the green horns, when you know it, you can see it in others too.

[@WarezCommentary]

ok pig

[@JoseTorres-ry9qe]

Your ex wasn't even there for you at the airport. My fellow veterans aren't here anymore, not because they were KIA but because they came back to people they loved who said it would've been better they _didn't_ come back. Then when it happened to me --the one I cared for _demanding_ the same, I realized that nobody cares where you've been or what you've done except those who were actually there. It's like ...life after life. Without the people we served for, and served with, we find our purpose left in the past. There's nothing left. Up from zero, start again.

[@badxradxandy]

idk how you can expect someone who is an ex to wait for you like they, they're already an ex they already aren't reliable for a lot of reasons. I agree with your sentiment though but know that these married chicks were hopping on okcupid a week or two after their guy deployed for some D, I know first hand. So for an ex to not pick this guy up I am not surprised at all, he probably would be better off staying with that Ukrainian chick who knows.

[@bestgirl3380]

Relationships are weird in the military from what i've seen. What I've noticed: People get married quick asf. They say its love but have a sinister smile when mentioning the benefits of BHA which you get when you're married, so pretty much more money. Can't blame em. Lots of people do it. Marry their buddy cause it's higher pay for them. For women, we pretty much are better off dating and marrying another soldier, cause of how society and gender roles and how they all effect us... it wouldn't make sense imo for a woman serving to date a civilian... ofc true love trumps that, but as women, it should be hard for most to find a man outside of the military, cause we spend a lot of time in the military, so yknow, do the math. Not to mention, why do men date women who aren't patriotic, aren't supportive, don't want to understand your position and the struggles you'll be going thru as a soldier who is gonna get deployed???? I guess that's the mans fault for choosing such a fickle woman! And then if you do date a woman or man in the military, it's fraternization! haha not all the time, but in many cases, you gotta watch out, plus there could be work drama blablablabla so yeah it's hard this is probably why monks (who are soldiers in their own right) do not date/find love. Ofc because attachment leads to delusion and sin, but also because of stuff like this. And then if you do date a woman or man in the military, it's fraternization! haha not all the time, but in many cases, you gotta watch out, plus there could be work drama blablablabla

[@americannightmare1134]

Wrong side of history 🎉🎉

[@badxradxandy]

@@bestgirl3380 enlisted guys are at a pressure to get married because they deploy and get k)lled overseas someone needs to get their benefits, there's a huge incentive for them to marry moreso than officers

[@Mike-es2yg]

​@@badxradxandycan't agree more. These hos aren't loyal

[@kraanz]

Heard from a Brit who recently came back from Ukraine: "Quite a lot of the Americans eventually deserted, including guys from special forces with 10+ years of military service. Guess they couldn't handle the thought that they were not absolutely superior in terms of equipment and manpower, and that they would actually have to endure shelling."

[@proudtitanicdenier4300]

Big mac?

[@kraanz]

@@proudtitanicdenier4300 Thanks for the offer, but not hungry right now ;]

[@albertlitts2191]

I'm guessing they got tired of being given guns with no mags, even tho we funded and sent over weapons for the war. Going to war with a gun and no mags while the person who is the president of the country got the support and funds he needed and spent it on million dollar cars, sounds completely logical to keep fighting for a country who's own people mostly ran away from. Guess you never been to war?

[@alexanderchenf1]

And also they didn’t want to die for a cause that had nothing to do with their security

[@sebastiendominique666]

The caution he tell about being hyped and ''can-do'' man wanting to go fight without any experience is VERY important! I do understand the anger we can have an wanna help... but if you dont have any field experience, please dont go, you'll do more harm than good. There's others way you can help experience people do their job easier!

[@isaacmcallister5649]

If you’ve kept in contact with this man, you let him know that he did the most righteous thing in his position that any of us here, in the USA, can do to help the Ukraine. Thank Christ above for men like him!

[@sosogo4real]

Yes we should fight for Nazis who ban Christian churches. Great take.

[@Azeal]

I do have contact with him, and he is amazing!

[@whyismyricewet1986]

@@Azeal has the estonian guy contacted him?

[@whyismyricewet1986]

@@Mortablunt that's really cool and all, but Russia is so bad at fighting that at this point they don't deserve to own Ukraine.

[@tubeguy4066]

My tax dollars is already helping the hell hole

[@forekin836]

One thing that he isn't saying, is that A LOT of US Military went to Ukraine thinking it'd be like Iraq/Afghanistan(some had no combat experience at all). When they experienced a REAL war, they left within a months time and wasted everyones time + money. Several Ukrainian volunteers spoke about this, and I have a personal friend from my Masjid who is there now.

[@fantasy_4772]

Fact but also dou to the fact it cost a ton to fight there not eveyone can get paid and many has had problems and for sum it is just not enough to stay overseas when u have bills to pay at home that cost more than ur whole paymemt thats why u see pepole leaving after a few months There is lots of good interviews but the best one i have seen so far must be from the swedish volentters👍

[@mariobadia4553]

A lot of them were redditors thinking they could beat guys with actually military training and used their phones which made them easy pickings

[@WatschMeNow]

"When the experienced REAL war" Boy what do *you* know about "real war"? You ever been shot at? You ever been blown up by an IED? Ease way the fuck up on you rhetoric about combat. Ukraine and Russia wage war differently and have different capabilities - that doesnt make their fight any more or less real than war done differently elsewhere.

[@MrNecryptic]

@@mariobadia4553 So in this video he actually mentions that incident. The cruise missle hitting the volunteer barracks was because some redditor doxxed their location. Can you imagine dying because of that lmao, what a waste.

[@taelorpickel2830]

This is what I hear too. Every single time I see volunteers join, they leave.

[@razorbelieves7603]

merry christmas to everyone. especially this guy he needs it

[@Azeal]

[@JustAsPlanned1]

Super wholesome. Thank you for fighting for us Mr. Unnamed Marine! Hello from Odesa!

[@Sugondeese]

now bro's lurking for minors and weebs in VR chat

[@jeffchan954]

It’s interesting that he talks about being able to hear the artillery fire before the explosion because that’s what was also talked about in Erich Maria Remarques book all quiet on the western front (which was based on his own experience), that after a while, most veteran troops would be able to determine the caliber of the artillery, the distance/location, and then use that to get to safety.

[@jaroslavmysnyk2470]

At first I saw a VR chat and thought it was some kind of joke. Turned out it was one of the most interesting and informative interview on the subject I've seen so far. Thank you both for your work, for letting people know what this war is about and for your support. It really means a lot to us. No volunteer should feel ashamed. And I just want to say that he didn't chicken out and he didn't let us down because he has already done more for us than we could've asked for. People willing to risk their life for other people and justice deserve to be happy and I'm glad that thing worked out for him.

[@Azeal]

[@NagaSadow97]

About VR Chat, it most certainly can be a chaotic cesspit of debauchery and lunacy but it's also just a place to meet and connect with people far outside of even normal internet bounds.

[@UltimateArts13]

Zoom also does that

[@Dj.MODÆO]

It’s much easier to have these conversations in Vr or voice recording or whatever than it is to talk about these things face to face.

[@bvhia]

I gotta say that is one of the cool things about VR

[@cdru515]

This is one situation where I can say "thank you for your service" and mean it. Greetings from Russia

[@Azeal]

Thank you for your rebellion. 🇺🇦

[@Penultimeat]

Stay safe out there

[@knightsolitaire3610]

May you and other brave Russians wash the blood from your Flag!

[@twirlyturd4364]

May all the countries involved wash the blood from there flag that includes America and NATO

[@twirlyturd4364]

@@4elov3kd92 not a Russian tired of spending billions of dollars overseas when we can be fixing problems in our own country, people are sleeping under bridges yet we have money too send too Ukraine it’s sad

[@Ahoderasan]

Hearing he talkink about coming back to his house and feeling "lonely" really got me. I can't stop thinking on how many people througout these decades had to go through this same situation...Be strong buddy. We value your courage!!

[@michaelpelzek8882]

It's crazy to like when you hear vets say they'd rather go back to war. Not because they like it but because civilian life and problems no longer seem like they matter. Also I can imagine after war you have a hard time relating to anybody who isn't a vet.

[@jpnewman1688]

@@michaelpelzek8882 that's because they are just dumb, stupid animals that fought, killed and died for BANKERS and Corporations.. 💯💯

[@michaelpelzek8882]

@@jpnewman1688 based

[@michaelpelzek8882]

@@jpnewman1688 something tells me you don't feel the same about any non western countries military right?

[@jpnewman1688]

@@michaelpelzek8882 nah.. WAR IS A RACKET, fought and pay for by poor ignorant suckers as always.. 💯💯

[@goattygoat9489]

I never understood the Russia won’t stop at Ukraine theory. If the go any further the get the wrath of NATO by law. Completely different ball game for them. No upside for them.

[@adamkallin5160]

It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. If Nato starts buffing up its forces near the Russian border then the Russians will consider it a threat and may invade before it goes too far. They may also bet that the west is not willing to risk their own to defend the baltic states for example. Now that Russia-West relations are broken, they may consider attacking the baltics as an opportunity, as a weak response from Nato could significantly damage the whole alliance. I doubt there is any near term risk of such a thing though.

[@shadeofsound23]

The marine who fought Russia in Ukraine using fucking DROZ for their avatar is just baller as fuck.

[@adrianotaylor7230]

He's a medic he didn't fight shit

[@chaseviking5096]

​@@adrianotaylor7230 you clearly didn't listen to the story kid

[@adrianotaylor7230]

@@chaseviking5096 oh shut up nga

[@yourlilgremlin]

That feeling, that personal truth of knowing that you do not deserve any praise is exactly why you deserve it. You did good out there man. Three weks is still three weeks. It's far better than anything most of us have done, that being not even an hour.

[@oliverbird6914]

I don't think any of us should be out there. It's a proxy war. This is just sad

[@jpnewman1688]

The shit show ain't over for this dumb stupid mad 🐕.. He still got a lot of shit to live with.. 💯💯

[@jpnewman1688]

@@oliverbird6914 he's just another well brainwashed mad 🐕 that believes he fought for freedom.. 💯💯

[@AXharoth]

exactly , 3 weeks of risking your life

[@ClamMan1989]

True. But also makes you think about Ukrainians who've been in this nonstop for years now.

[@Shad0wBoxxer]

the whole reason no one checked on them in the town is due to the fact they were using AK's they literally thought it was there own men, if they were using anything else the whole place would have been lit up. a old thing in war that was said is that you do not hear the round that kills you. due to you being in front of the round so the noise doesn't reach you Edit. im not ashamed to say i cried with him.

[@Azeal]

Ah, interesting, thank you for the insight.

[@menosuraiya4686]

Bullets travel faster than the speed of sound, you'll see the effect before you hear the cause. I was wondering that about the town, it seemed like dumb luck.

[@Shad0wBoxxer]

@@menosuraiya4686 they actually do slow down a bit but if a rifle round passes your face youll hear a snap but if it hits you anywhere in the body. You dont hear it at ALL no rifle report nothing. You only know you got hit and thats it.

[@NickIFMSA]

A bit late to comment but maybe this reaches the marine who showed his inner demons. I'm a military physician in training (Royal Dutch Army, Netherlands, no deployments yet). Concerning the in-flight headache you described: I'm no expert in shell shock and/or long term effects of concussive forces on the brain. But my best (somewhat educated) guess to the cause(s) of the headache during the airplane flight would be a more extreme form of the regular causes of in-flight headaches. Being: dehydration, lack of sleep, maybe less than optimal food, psychological stress (processing your war experiences, possibly the first feelings of guilt/depression, normal 'airplane cabin pressure' effects). All of those combined can give a hell of a headache. As you started to recuperate more after the first flight the symptoms could lessen if these were the causes. I wouldn't suspect anything being 'broken' in your brain and/or inner ear. Otherwise symptoms would continue or even worsen. If they do continue and/or come back my advice would to seek medical help. Not just physical but psychological if the physical stuff has been ruled out. About dealing with the feelings of guilt: I've never experienced what you experienced. Nor would I want to or wish it upon anyone I know. But what I have found to be a helpful thought (after losing patients due to shitty situations) is trying to see it from a reversed or a third persons viewpoint. Your Estionian brother-in-arms might be fine and not able to reach out to you. Worst case he could be dead. Either way, try to switch your situation with his. What if he went back after 3 weeks and you would have stayed in Ukraine? Would you think of him as a coward for leaving? Would you want him to beat himself up about leaving? Or would you wish him all the best for having his back against grenade-throwing-Russians? From your descriptions of him I think he would want you to take care of yourself. I also wouldn't be surprised if he'd be proud of the fact you're getting out of a depression and the fact you've found a loving partner and kids to take care of. The same kind of mental exercise might work with the issues your experiencing after shooting the Russian soldier. I don't know for sure, I'm no expert. But I think you should try to see an expert if it keeps bothering you. You owe it to yourself and your young family to take care of yourself. Personally I don't think anyone can call you a coward. You made the decision to go and didn't turn around even after the Ukrainian foreign legion's base was hit with cruise missiles. You said you would stay for 3 weeks and that's what you have done to the best of your ability. Most people wouldn't have gotten on the plane in the first place, even fewer would cross into Ukraine and fewer yet would see the whole thing through. You did. You took charge of your situation, maybe spared a young Britt the same experiences you went through. And had an Estionian's back through thick and thin, despite a lack of logistics, despite artillery fire, despite BTR's, despite friendly fire, et cetera. You went through a lot in 3 weeks, more than most people would go through in a life time. Could you have done more? The truth is you could have always 'done more'. I don't think you would ever feel like you did 'enough', no matter how long you would have stayed. Again, take care of yourself. I think you've earned it. And if it doesn't feel like you've earned it consider doing so anyway just to lighten the load for those around you. Take care.

[@AntonAdelson]

This should be pinned!

[@Azeal]

fascinating, thank you for the info!

[@konstantin6482]

Dude, I'm a Ukrainian and I want to thank you for your help. Your courage is amazing. And about that recon story I want to remind you that those Russians didn't just magically appear there. They knew they were going to another country killing people. And they got exactly what they deserved. Also those 2 were probably gonna loot someone's home. So in my opinion you did 100% right.

[@AsukaLangleyS02]

Are you fighting though?

[@konstantin6482]

@@AsukaLangleyS02 No, and I don't that everybody should. People should do what they're best at. Throwing people that are afraid of combat in the front lines just leads to more inefficiencies and harm then good. I'm much more useful where I am, working and donating.

[@AsukaLangleyS02]

@@konstantin6482 I see, you want foreigners to come die for your country but you won't die for yours.

[@konstantin6482]

@@AsukaLangleyS02 That is a silly thing to say. I don't draw a distinction between Ukrainians and foringners in that regard. I don't want anyone to go to war if the person doesn't feel they want it. That's why I don't support closing borders for men for example. Once again, I don't ask anyone no matter the origin to go to war for Ukraine, but I am deeply grateful for the people that do it. Even more so when it's foreigners because they have the option of safety yet they volonterally put their lives at risk. Those guys have my respect and my support.

[@Pottan23]

@@AsukaLangleyS02 Even the Soviet Union never reached a total mobilization (1939-1945) above 20% of the population.

[@ryaneastwood6674]

Man I never thought a hug in VR chat would make me emotional.

[@mrdblack313]

Great story. As a retired soldier I can relate a bit to his feelings when he returned. I hope things are getting better mentally and psychologically. Talking helps. God bless.

[@SiegeToilet]

I really hope Billy the Estonian is okay. I also believe this marine is a hero not just for his service in Ukraine having almost being killed many times but also for staying strong and staying caring when back home. War is a sad thing but i really believe war will never stop so long as humanity exists. I listened to every single word of this. This was truly gripping throughout.

[@foxxy46213]

There all heros.. not just the guys on the front fighting the guys fighting to restore power an gas

[@hungrymusicwolf]

War won't stop even if all humans are gone. Ants have territorial wars and genocide of each others colonies all the time (even in the same race or sometimes from originally the same side/colony). Animals have territorial conflicts, wasps, bees, etc. also have such wars. Wars are simply the nature of large scale conflict when there are no better alternatives left for one of the participants involved.

[@AAAComics]

Guys that have been going to combat since world war two have been feeling this shit. I always asked my grandpa about vietnam and pressed on him to tell me the stories and got mad at him when he didnt. I regret every second of it and I really miss him.

[@stalincat2457]

War is something you cannot comprehend when you're young. I remember young me skipping episode 6 of Band of Brothers (Bastogne) cause it was boring. But we understand now why veterans often prefer to keep their stories to themselves and we know now not to ask how many evil foreigners they killed. Having that awareness is unfortunately all we can do :)

[@strazed1]

not just world war two though you probably know that there were tons of shitty wars before

[@kwisatzhaderach1458]

Only since WW2 you guyz 😂

[@Dzugoslav]

Thank you for your service man. You risked your life for what you believe. I hope your friend is okay too.

[@Eidridin]

I'm happy that he is home and alive after those three weeks in a war zone. That, and I hope he gets some new friends that actually listen to what he has to say, and are not apathetic dorks living in their own bubbles. Most importantly, he needs to find the people to appreciate his new composition of the Billy Joel song, haha. Thanks for looking out for these kinds of people, Azeal. You're doing fantastic work bringing these people's stories into light.

[@jacobschrift2448]

I’ve showed this to several of my 03 buddies, definitely a cathartic experience since few see combat anymore. Thank you for your service and support to this country and corps. The minor corrections and clarifications for the “indistinct" subtitles, 4:20: “its nothing to dick around with, it's not romantic” 3:09: “Korean War, World War II, going to the Cold War and the Chechen War” 5:06: an "IFAK" which stands for "Individual First Aid Kit", 5:12: he just said he knew he needed a Kevlar helmet because it would be important. 8:50: "they told us" 16:38: UA stands for “Unauthorized Absence", basically the charge under desertion 33:20: “that wasn’t even in a defensive posture” 40:04: not “pickpocket”, he said “hip pocket class”, jargon for brief and not well-planned training 41:13: “if the machine guns lined up” most automatic weapons systems have horizontal beaten zones that you want to disperse to avoid giving easy kills to 1:26:26: “mentally I’d say I am doing better though” 1:27:18: “whether they are the Russian trolls, or not… just like bashing the Ukrainians”

[@Name-nw9uj]

humble through and through. that's how you can tell he's got a good heart.

[@Azeal]

Indeed.

[@Truff2687]

Nah people don’t realize how under rated these videos are… love how it’s done with the gaming avatars and worlds

[@Azeal]

thank you so much! ^^

[@lsp_showtek94]

Oh man I hope his Estonian friend is ok, hearing him choke up got me in tears.

[@wesG09]

I would absolutely for _damn_ sure do combat to 'Son of Man' or ANY song from the Tarzan soundtrack playing in my cans; Phil Collins did NOT have to go that hard, but he _did_

[@Yolocheese]

Great story to the marine, and great Job to Azeal! The fact that you edited in a full hour of subtitles and clip cuts, is astonishing. Stay safe and merry Christmas (if you celebrate it) everyone, stay safe ❤️

[@HawkGaming3721]

I cant do much, but i wish you luck pilot

[@Azeal]

[@bethanygeorge5967]

The 64 is a family

[@AG-en5y]

Hey i listened through the whole thing. I was saddened when you said you feel like a coward for leaving. When compared to 99% of others living in this nice peaceful country you are braver than them-braver than me I pray for your Estonian friend and I sincerely hope you find a free therapist or a psychiatrist to talk to, nothing wrong with taking some meds + therapy during hard times. Much love from Canada 🇨🇦 and ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@oliverbird6914]

Shouldn't be out there

[@chaosheaven23]

Testimonies like this make me very thankful to live in the country I do and not having to fight for my life every day like that. War is Hell, dude. Im glad you got to come home to the people who care about and love you.

[@tylerlee3858]

Bro you have nothing to be ashamed about don’t beat yourself up. Guys like you inspire me to be a better person and becoming a good soldier going off the basic in the Army after I graduate from high school on June 26th your story really inspired me and I hope I can fulfill the shoes of men like you.

[@GamingWithHajimemes]

Why am I still up??? Merry christmas everyone.

[@Azeal]

Merry Christmas!

[@fuethechinchilla2606]

Merry Christmas / hanaka / whatever holiday or not holiday you celebrate during this freezing hell known as december

[@GamingWithHajimemes]

@@fuethechinchilla2606 Haha you're telling me. I'm in Florida and I swear it's never been colder. About 30 degrees now lol- Too much for my cold blood to handle....

[@pineapple8375]

same bro

[@Lord-mittens]

Merry Christmas! And or happy holidays!

[@thin.chungus5554]

"Azeal uploaded on Christmas? It must be a happy video" the video: Thank you for sharing this story btw

[@Azeal]

merry chrimbi

[@thin.chungus5554]

@@Azeal happy chrises

[@Maceman486]

It takes a lot to just be real and human about an experience like that. Well done.

[@Azeal]

Agreed!

[@rottensteak508]

A lot of us prior military are like this. I don’t think we open up because of stigma and pre assumptions. We aren’t war mongers or murderers. We want to protect the innocent and do what’s necessary to keep the peace. Unfortunately once you’re in the thick of it, you realize fast that it’s all an ugly lie, and you have to bare the shame, the guilt, and the horror of your naive attempt to save the world by thinking you can be it’s martyr. It builds character and humbled you, it makes you appreciate humanity to a level I can’t fully articulate, but it comes at a cost of your own demons. As long as you come out of it true to yourself, and honest, I believe that’s the redemption; it’s all alot of us have to hold onto. Unfortunately, the journey to redemption often turns to retribution through self harm and guilt. It’s the good ones who can’t bare the shame and guilt, even after the reaffirmation of those around them that they are good people. It’s heavy, it’s hard, but we keep marching forward in hopes we are now on the right path

[@YPS-h4j]

*facepalm* guy making really stupid decisions ("i DiDn'T LiKe WhAt WaS hApPeNiNg", lol the arrogance and naivety) lecturing other people not to make stupid decisions and yet "I wanted to go straight to the action" but goes to Kiew (where nothing is happening, on the safer side of the river, "to play it safe"). This guy is a walking talking book of contradictions.

[@internetman1213]

That’s just people my guy. Everyone is a walking contradiction

[@ystconnection]

I hope this guy meets his Estonian battle brother again. I hope it’s like the end of Shawshank and (maybe not at the western coast of Mexico), he gives him a big hug of reunion!

[@nathangehman7018]

It's interesting when he was talking about the volunteer barracks being destroyed because Lindybeige has a video interviewing a British volunteer soldier who was there for that, and he talked about his experience of the chaos of that night

[@chaosdweller]

🤔

[@locust25VI]

I know right, was thinking that too

[@MaxDicker]

At around 16:50, when the marine says "he's for real in the British army, and he's for real [INDISTINCT]", he said he's for real in UA. UA stands for unauthorized absence, meaning that he's not where he's supposed to be, and is considered a pretty grave crime in any military.

[@Azeal]

Ah, thank you for the info!

[@enemyfleet7139]

I'm not "pro-either-side", but I'm 32 years active duty, and have been talking about it from the U.S. should stay the hell out of it perspective. Look up Marine COL Richard Black, VA Senator, and check truth he puts out there.

[@jaywhite678]

As an RVN Cobra pilot vet I found many parralls in his emotions. A fantastic interview, thank you so much.

[@Azeal]

🧡

[@stainless7191]

I have listened to alot of accounts from people who have fought in Ukraine and this guy saw more action than many who were there for a lot longer.

[@DakotaofRaptors]

It was likely because he was one of the first volunteers in Ukraine - back when Russia was progressing towards Kiev.

[@mr.unoriginal5674]

A salute to you my friend you may not see it now but you are a hero and more a man than any among you I'm glad your safe home and I'm happy you fought for the right reasons

[@Azeal]

He is amazing 🧡

[@chupacabra304]

I don’t think homie’s a coward, spending 2-1/2 weeks helping is better than nothing & every little bit helps.

[@emersidehack4037]

You lived a life time there, not 3 weeks. This is therapy for so many. Glory to the heroes. 🙏

[@limbokidthedank8746]

The way his dumb, gun-crazy friends just completely neglected him when he tried to talk to them seriously about the situation in Ukraine seriously reminds me of all quiet on the western front, utterly disturbing, how history repeats itself

[@raidermaxx2324]

sounds like MAGA

[@Kaffarov97]

Yeah that's what I was thinking, completely out of touch with how things really are out there.

[@ardentfire3956]

@@raidermaxx2324 Most Ukraine supporters hate Trump, Mostly because of the collusion hoax.

[@raidermaxx2324]

@ThrewASteakOfTheArkIntoAPoolFullOfSharks i mean MAGA=man children? sounds about right to me .

[@raidermaxx2324]

@ThrewASteakOfTheArkIntoAPoolFullOfSharks yea exactly they are "pro-Trump" even though it was Trump who took away the 2.8 billion dollars, earmarked for Vets and the VA, and diverted it to his non-existent wall, with the money ending up in Steve Bannon's pocket. Alot of that money earmarked by congress was supposed to build new schools on bases for the children of active duty service members in foreign countries. And even though there are some military people that stsill support Trump, its no secret that the over seas mail in votes from our service members in foregin countries are what swung the vote to Biden in the election. How about you stop being a traitor and a simp first?

[@SuicideSeason4545]

Man, the love that marine has for his Estonian friend really proves love knows no boundaries. We’re all equal at the of the day, no matter what flag you were raised under or the color of skin you were born with. I hope the Estonian will contact him one day their bond really seemed strong it’s literally as if they were brothers from another mother. please make an update video on the marine in the future. Wars horrific, no human mind is strong enough to truly come out unscathed. This story was really inspiring, it touched me and restored my faith in humanity.

[@lovepeoplehu9883]

no

[@Microphunktv-jb3kj]

Man being in combat/trench with another man is deeper connection/relationship that of a relationship with a woman... (no homo)

[@dazidazu1476]

This is the true romantism of war. people forget it. its easy to see those who deny, but looking onwards on those who break every instinct to save a stranger. Thats the most romantic part of mankind.

[@sebby324]

My chemistry teacher was a combat medic in the British Royal Marines she hates to talk about what she saw but often people in my class would pressure her to talk about it she saw many bad things but one story that I remember her telling was that she saw a man get shot in the heart and the blood spat with so much pressure as it came from his artery in his heart it span him around in a circle from the force before pinning him to the floor there was nothing she could do he was dead

[@Stroon92]

Crying over a brother in arms is more than acceptable. Hope he finds his buddy

[@SharlyHdz]

Shite man, even if it was just 3 weeks, he still went there to a foreign country as a volunteer and stayed for the duration of it, even after facing combat, getting shot at with artillery and friendly fire and seeing what he saw. Most people would have "chickened" for much less.

[@Sonnavind123]

You did great bro, i wanted to go too Ukraine and without any formal military training i was recommended not to go. Im very happy too hear your story and im glad you made it back alive. One of my best friend is also an Estionian and i started crying when you mention it and i really hope he is okey. Love from Norway.

[@Azeal]

Thank you for your contribution to the cause sir! 🇺🇦

[@nicholasogburn7746]

Same. THEN I got a serious medical ddx. Would have burdened UKR rather than helped

[@junimeme5626]

Amazing story. I hope the universe hasn't taken your Estonian brother away from us just yet. Thank you for your service. Love from Romania

[@lordpyro6483]

PTSD is bitch and it will take a while before you start to feel normal again. Merry Christmas. I can tell you at the nightmares will stop, and only come back when are triggered subconsciously.

[@Azeal]

Merry Christmas to you too, your comment is very true.

[@justabystander1567]

"where is all the tea?" Mate, we ain't getting your powdered tea leaf extracts if y'aint putting your bum into the front lines.

[@Azeal]

lmao

[@Penultimeat]

That active duty British soldier is risking a significant scandal by going there to fight with his issued gear. Russia keeps trying to frame the war as a NATO operation, and him being there is risky. Hope he was able to help.

[@ChucksSEADnDEAD]

Both sides are using previously issued gear from Western countries. A passport or ID would be more damning.

[@listrahtes]

With how cowardly NATO leaves Ukraine in the dirt especially the European countries a scandal would be better than nothing. All they think about here in Germany is not to get involved and ignore the reality

[@brianfitch5469]

@@listrahtesnato signed agreements in the 90s to not expand past germany and they kept going breaking the treaty. Russia warned for nearly 20 years to stop breaking the treaty or they would act. Nato brought this war. Nato got exactly what it wanted they kept provoking russia expanding nato east past the treaty line.

[@teknophelia]

I can never understand what this dude went through. I hear the pain in his loss of contact with the support structure he had there. I hope he finds his Estonian.

[@tacticalgreengecko7369]

I had a few friends serve back when the war started in 2014 some from Russia joining the dontesk and donbass rebels. My 1 Ukrainian friend joined some right sector group I can't recall the name. A couple did die in 2014 and 2015 by 2017 they had all gone home due to the stale mate. But in 2022 my russian friends joined the RU army and my Ukrainian friend joining the Ukrainian army. I really hope they all survive I just miss the days when we played battlefield and payday together....I've thought about going myself some people will do the craziest stuff to escape there home ethier debt broken families some join a cause to belive in..but most come home more broken and confused then when they left...but now they have combat experience.

[@tacticalgreengecko7369]

@@pilotmanpaul I remember him having a patch it had a bunch of wirting on it black background red text had the trident except for that was red too.

[@raidermaxx2324]

so they werent really your "friends", but just people you met online that you played video games with, right?

[@tacticalgreengecko7369]

@@raidermaxx2324 I'd call them my friends we all were friends. But not so much anymore for obvious reasons but I'm still in contact with everyone who is alive. I'll occosanily send food or cigarettes sometimes candy. They send me patches and letters back.

[@raidermaxx2324]

@@tacticalgreengecko7369 I see. Thanks!

[@raidermaxx2324]

@@tacticalgreengecko7369 sweet. you are a good dude

[@deathhexxxgaming3431]

I can honestly say, with 12 years US Army service with 2 combat deployments, for about 28 months total... if I were the commander of a Ukrainian unit and some American told me he was only here for 3 weeks, I would have been pissed too. "I'm just here for 3 weeks but I'm not a war tourist...", Dude... that's exactly what that is brother. No hate... but getting by 8 years in the Marines, of all branches, with no combat deployment, being 0311... how in the fuck did that happen? I get it... my guess is that you were some support MOS that was non-deployable and felt like shit because you never tasted battle, then you decided to atone and go get some. I have a couple friends, both dead now, that did the same... got them killed. Honestly, with the way the war is going now, only being there 3 weeks saved your life. All the people I know that know people that went to fight for Ukraine... they're all dead now. The Ruskies were a little sloppy at first but they're bringing their A Game now. That's all just my thoughts... either way, thanks for going to and doing what you thought you should. That does take some serious balls... these aren't dirty desert people, making IEDs and doing hit and runs... you went up against one of the best supplied, largest, and strongest militaries in the world and made it back to tell the story. Thanks for sharing... was an interesting story... wish you the best Marine

[@LolGamer5]

Thank you, also for your service (am german but eh can still be nice)

[@edusanch421]

This guy watched too much tv news movies...real live war not the same....putting your life on the line for higher powers....

[@vlad-ww1kq]

Same russians do for putin😂

[@adrianotaylor7230]

​@vlad-ww1kq the difference is they're winning and yes some russian troops do act like this is call of duty (one of them sneaked up on a Ukrainian and got a knife kill)

[@vlad-ww1kq]

@adrianotaylor7230 oh,yeah,it different. So why they couldn't capture Kiev?,Why they left Herson? And believe kill a person with a knife,it is not achievement,it is war crime,and russians really like do this

[@adrianotaylor7230]

@vlad-ww1kq russian forces left kiev due to a lack of man power and kherson is not important, why couldn't ukraine after 4 months and thousands of men and vehicles lost only breach the first line of defense in the south 🤣 ukraine made literally 0 gains when they're expected to reach the coast line, remember the crimean summer party 💀💀

[@vlad-ww1kq]

@adrianotaylor7230 oh yeah,so why they captured herson if it is not important? And why attack Kiev? About last 4 month,simple answer: russians mined everything and everywhere,it is very simple. For example Kharkiv oblast was taken back very quickly, because it wasn't mined.

[@redwolf230]

Thank you for helping my friends and family!!!!!!! May your path lead you straight,true and to a happy life! Long live my home of Ukraine

[@Azeal]

🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦

[@redwolf230]

I could not fight anymore once i lost my eye and my left leg was injuried.

[@shoeby9273]

@@redwolf230 I grew up with a dad that had one eye. I always thought he was badass because of it. Rest easy, brother.

[@bestratchetandclank]

I have to be honest, I’m sure this may be missed or disregarded as I’m not from that type of experience, but I feel obligated to say it. You are an amazing person, it’s amazing that you decided to talk about this, and my heart and prayers go out to you and those who served. I truly hope you manage to find closure in yourself. I hope you manage to hear back from your brother as I hope he’s doing ok. Be safe.

[@dakaodo]

FWIW regarding your guest's artillery hypothesis, I had to look up some work-related PTSD topics a while ago, and one of my searches turned up a US Army study on sub-concussion mental and physical effects on soldiers exposed to the shockwaves from their own heavy guns (artillery, tank, etc). I barely remember any details, but I think a few Google searches should turn up the PDF report I have in mind. As far as I remember, it said that soldiers exposed to chronic occupational hazards like artillery operation are at higher statistical risk of developing neurological symptoms that aren't considered full concussions, but include migraines, vertigo, loss of memory, mood swings, etc. I don't have any better answers, but I hope that this helps your guest to come to terms with this being not his fault or his guilt. EDIT: Just remembered, that shock is called overpressure! Derp. As other comments here (some from Ukrainians and Russians) have said, your guest did far more than the average foreign observer. It wasn't a perfect fairy tale story of heroism the way he had hoped going in, but he contributed several weeks of manpower at a time when Ukraine was desperately short on everything and fighting for survival. He's also very self-aware, being open to seeing his own actions from others' points of view. As I listened to his account, I heard a LOT of thoughts and emotions from him that very closely echoed firsthand accounts from soldiers' memoirs I've read from WW 1 up through the Vietnam War. The feeling of not having done more, guilt, embarrassment, etc. I can't say just stop feeling that, b/c it's not a tap you can simply turn off. But I hope that with his interest in history, he'll be able to find counseling and therapy among more of his veteran peers and brothers, as well as in past soldiers' journals and autobiographies. Specifically, his experience with shooting his first Russian bears so much thematic resemblance to Erich Maria Remarque's scene in All Quiet On the Western Front with the enemy soldier dying in the same crater. Fiction, but based on actual experience. Similarly, Guy Sajer's autobiography The Forgotten Soldier describes Sajer's own thoughts that are very similar. So your guest may not always feel it, but he has over a century's worth of soldiers who have seen and felt the things he's feeling now. He's not alone, and no soldier is less of a person for having chosen to do more than most of us have done. Unfortunately, since these are often long-term and low grade chronic conditions, they don't get the same kind of high profile attention that sharper and more immediate medical conditions receive. And as you and your guest mentioned with the joke from chat, it's easy for the military and VA to say "Your condition is not service related." The VA already struggles to service its existing obligations to US veterans. It would drown even worse if the umbrella were expanded to include more low level conditions that I'm sure MANY veterans endure in silence and isolation. It's bureaucratically easier to push the guilt trip onto the individuals, letting them think they just need to suck it up. Rather than admit that many military jobs are systemically conducted in an unsustainable way that impacts service people's long-term quality of life. In many ways, this is inherent to the demands placed on any military -- there will be times and situations that demand unsustainable levels of effort and sacrifice, and the system will ruin individual lives for the sake of critical tasks and objectives. Sometimes it's necessary, but that shouldn't excuse the government from shirking its responsibilities in providing for the people who sacrifice their well-being (or lives) for this. And shirking is exactly what "Your condition is not service related" is.

[@willgreen3665]

Cool conversation. Good interview...ruined by a grown man with furry inhibitions wanting to play dress up and ruining the whole damn vibe

[@JayJay24Lane]

🤣🤣

[@Redrum-707]

right wtf how can you take this dude serious when they are in vr with furry suits . Can't help but think this dude is just a larper lol

[@TheDreadPirateRoberts-jr2fk]

“We got to a school, where I managed to find myself a rifle.” AI was telling the truth I guess.

[@fomnik9276]

1:30:00 imagine what Cuba feels being next to so powerful nation. They are under sanctions all this time just cause they invited distant great power. Russia does what it has to do and it is so sad. Same USSR-Cuba-US but in XXI

[@daltoncates7296]

it has always annoyed me how people only like to hear about the things they think are cool like how many kills did you get did you get to shot a mg or did you kill any tanks like how disconnected do you have to be to think that it was fun and not a gut retching experience filled with sorrow

[@tandemcharge5114]

Because no normal people is going to ask how sad/messed up/bad the experience of killing another person was, be it a soldier or the crews of tanks. It always annoys me that people like you exist

[@daltoncates7296]

@@tandemcharge5114 that's what I mean its crazy how little people understand due to not having any form of reference what so ever also that people have a tendency to chose to not think about these things with it being an uncomfortable subject or with the people that love an easy lie instead of the hard realty of things

[@p0xus]

That must be so hard wondering how his Estonian friend is doing. I hope he's ok and he reconnects with him some day

[@peteeblack7061]

If you happen to see this, thank you for your selfless act in defending our country. You are brave for sharing so much of how you feel with so many people. I can relate to the guilt you're experiencing. All I'll say is that you've done a lot more for my country than many others, me included. Be proud of what you did.

[@christianbottorff3644]

He must've been happy when Fall Out Boy released their version of We Didn't Start The Fire.

[@izzyviridian1485]

About the artillery and airplane pressure, it sounds similar to what can happen if you have IIH. Guessing artillery changes your CSF levels somehow?

[@lafett1455]

Quck fact: Sasha is actually russian name, not funny nickname for boys, as mentioned in interview.

[@YochevedDesigns]

I heard that it was short for "Alexander". Is that true?

[@lafett1455]

​@@YochevedDesigns It is, but short form is used waaay more frequently, where Alexander practically reserved almost exclusively for formal conversations. Basically Alexander overthrown by Sasha in colloquial speech, so it feels like *big real name*, and it actually is =)

[@ARandomDCIContra]

Protocol 3: Protect the Pilot

[@HawkGaming3721]

Protocol 4: Give this man a medal

[@Azeal]

All of the above :)

[@THE_FALLEN_TROOPER]

Protocol 5:give him a hug

[@bethanygeorge5967]

The 64 is a family

[@Monsuco]

Honestly I would LOVE to hear a Russian soldier tell their story on here because I'm curious what Russians think about all of this. What's troop morale in his unit like? Are most of his fellow Russian soldiers proud to be involved or do they feel this is a waste of their country's blood and treasure? Are the Russian problems with training and logistics as bad as the American press says they are or did he feel they were getting supplies and working vehicles in a timely manor? Do the front-line infantry generally respect their commanders or do they disparage them? Don't get me wrong, while I'm growing weary of all the aid we're sending them, I do ultimately sympathize with Ukraine because Russia is the aggressor power but I suspect there's a bit of a difference between how the American media portrays this conflict and how people who actually fight view it.

[@milanmitic2429]

Its much deeper then that but you must first explore what happend in 2014 and in Maidan.

[@proudtitanicdenier4300]

​@@milanmitic2429must explore that the majority of dpr and lpr soldiers were just wagnerites LMAO

[@user-lp8ur5qn3o]

@@proudtitanicdenier4300exactly lmao

[@dirtydan3029]

I think that british kid was the one that got caught and sent back to the uk

[@Lord-mittens]

Merry Christmas!! And or happy holidays!! ❤

[@Azeal]

You too!!

[@wojciechgrodnicki6302]

Salute to your courage and honesty. You deserve a long life in peace and happiness.

[@Quebber]

Hugs! Thank you for this and thank you Azeal once again you show something we all need to see and hear about.

[@Azeal]

Thanks dude 🧡

[@lokiweb2165]

Awesome to see you staying positive!

[@neilbadger4262]

I had a friend who died back in 1997 who had been part of the landing force on Juno Beach on D-day in WW2. I never asked him about if he had killed anyone, because you should never ask a soldier this question, but I did ask what his involvement was and this was after some 15 years of knowing him. Listening to this US marine, I get the same sense of story telling and how perhaps he brushes over certain parts. I sincerely hope that he is able to overcome his PTSD and слава украине, слава героям