Mark Kermode - Bad movies competition

[@raisedonpopcornwithgrant9670]

“i know what you did last supper” is one of the funniest one-liners i have heard “snow dad’s better than no dad” is a close second

[@sternchild]

Simon: 'Battlefield Earth' Mark: 'Have you seen the directors cut' Simon: 'Of course not'

[@TheDensley7]

" Jaws 3 w2as alright, well, it was rubbish". This is the sort of thing I love Kermode for.

[@lukedoyle2770]

Green Street absolutely did have one redeeming feature- Charlie Hunnam’s accent was fucking hilarious

[@jasrust]

'He's not a fackin' journo!'

[@kennethmccrindle6972]

Revenge of the Fallen, Walked out of it atrocious

[@AJARyan-yn2uv]

But the worst movie I actually have seen is The Legend of the Titanic, a movie so disrespectful that it blatantly states at the beginning that nobody was killed the night the ship sunk. It also has a plot where the main character obtains the ability to talk to animals because one of her tears landed on a dolphin, who merged the tear with magic it somehow got from the moon.

[@nifralo2752]

+Andrew Ryan With a giant octopus saving everyone at the end?

[@AJARyan-yn2uv]

Toad Lash Yep. That's the one.

[@CJODell12]

The sequel to this film (the one with the rapping dog and the Mexican mice) was actually LESS offensive and closer to the real story than the original

[@thecinematicmind]

AJA Ryan1994 Agreed!

[@TheEntity0]

Guess I know what I'm doing tonight...

[@lindateitelbaum1334]

I'm relieved to hear Jack mentioned. Easily the worst movie I've ever seen. It is repugnant, vile misery porn which manages the hard task of being both utterly miserable and utterly preposterous. It has as much class and merit as an exploitation film, which it kind of is. A family film exploitation movie. Just the worst the I've ever seen.

[@razaa09]

Gladiator was an amazing movie.

[@Sock1294]

Battleship, total pointless drivel that no one ever asked for staring people who no one wanted to see act.

[@greengunner4749]

I have a soft spot for Green Street I first saw it when I was 18 and I liked it.

[@TheDriller-Killer]

Didn't mind The Football Factory either. Can also recommend I. D. and The Firm (The original not the remake)

[@kennethmccrindle6972]

Battlefield earth was the first film I ever walked out of

[@newaccountforfilms]

Cool as Ice, Rebel without a cause remade for the 90's with Vanilla Ice starring.

[@danieltester5897]

Throwback to when Simon Mayo bothered to contribute to the discussion.

[@venicebeachsportsnetwork6677]

Is he lazy now?

[@alphabetaxenonzzzcat]

Mad Cows - starring Greg Wise(Mr. Emma Thompson), Anna Friel and Joanna Lumley, and written by Kathy Letts.

[@neilevans8204]

"Heaven's Gate". GET ON WITH IT!!!!!

[@SuperThumpasaurus]

Troll 2, Manos Hands of Fate, Waterworld, Batman & Robin, and Battlefield Earth.

[@MagnificentFiend]

SuperThumpasaurus _Waterworld_ is half a decent movie. The rest are too funny to be irredeemable.

[@SecondQuantisation]

6:11 "Full frontal I'll give you". No Mark! My eyes, the goggles do nothing! Oh.... you mean the film.....

[@neilevans8204]

"Love, Honor And Obey". Absolutely no redeeming features whatsoever!

[@EdPlays1997]

I'm not the biggest fan of Gladiator but I wouldn't go as far to say that it had no redeeming features.

[@textthing]

Still, I can't believe how much it's been over-praised. It is not even a good film.

[@BigDaddyZakk420]

textthing I agree, I have no idea why so many people love it so much. I mean, i don't think it's not a *bad* film, but it's really not good either.

[@PauLtus_B]

textthing I believe it's good, just good.

[@Mardenski100]

The only issue I have with Gladiator is that it takes every aspect of historical fact and throws it all in the bin

[@bevbo42]

Mardenski P the thing is, it's a film, not a documentary

[@heatrayzvideo3007]

House of the Dead - the only film i walked out of, I could not take anymore!! Thankfully it was at a film festival so I just killed time till the next film. It may be bad form to mention a Troma movie but I married a Vampire - has no redeeming features!

[@stevemodeen]

Haha I enjoy his reviews more than half of the movies he is reviewing! Love the good doctor - LegEnd

[@TheGamanic]

Birdemic: Shock and Terror is without doubt the most utterly inept movie I have seen. It fails in every department; acting, script, direction, sound etc, it is just a horror.

[@Dorgpoop]

That's so bad it's funny though

[@TheValeyard92]

I'm surprised they were allowed to say the word "baise" by the producers... particularly given that they were only allowed to say "Inglourious Basterds" once. I'm also surprised that nobody mentioned any of the thousands of those vile "parody" films like Epic Movie.

[@VarietyVideoGamer]

TheValeyard92 The English public would not have taken nearly as much offense to the word "baise" as they would have "basterds (even if it is spelled incorrectly)" because "baise moi" isn't really known by anyone and British people wouldn't have known what "baise" meant anyway.

[@TheValeyard92]

VarietyVideoGamer Mmmm. I suppose that is true. Then again, there was another occasion where Mark was pretty coy about saying the word "quim", which is also something that not a lot of people would get.

[@adriancronin533]

I think 'Baise' more readily translates as 'rape' rather than the f-bomb itself.

[@leumasnonnahs348]

Nostalgia critic needs to listen to Mark kermode

[@silobandnj3967]

6:14 can someone write out the movie he is talking about I can’t understand the name or language …”bess maur”?

[@videohits4ever432]

Baise-Moi a french film from 2000

[@N_Loco_Parenthesis]

"We need someone who looks like they've got a lot of space between their ears. Is Keanu busy?"

[@-_Luciano_-]

Green streets concept is a work of art and it inarguably delivered for what it was. recommended viewing

[@billymabum3514]

Agree . Decent acting , good plot . I don’t see the problem

[@monkey39128]

Kermode's a snob sometimes.

[@wozzywick]

Attack of the Clones is one of my favourite Star Wars movies!

[@vorjay]

no...actually I was referring to the way you referenced it. Crime satire and Black humor is what I was referring to. Goodfellas and Pulp fiction are A+ examples. Pulp Fiction takes the stories from the black mask magazine and other pulp magazines and the works of great crime films, The Killing(Kubrick), Breathless (Godard), Goodfellas (Scorsese), and turns it mixes it into a blender. The Boxer, The Dame, The briefcase, Drugs, and Redemption. If you can't appreciate it, that's your problem!

[@livinginvancouverbc2247]

"White Chicks" by the Wayans Brothers.

[@calummacdonald6115]

LivingInVancouverBC oh god, I'm still trying to exorcise that pile of crap from my fragile mind

[@garysiddons2157]

One of the shittist films ever

[@monkey39128]

"What a beautiful chocolate man" That line is burned into my brain. 😂

[@bolshevi3187]

cat in the hat - that film hurt

[@martinmcniffe]

The only film I hate more than The Cat in the Hat is Foodfight.

[@josephgarvin3998]

The Cell has one (1) redeeming feature - the costumes, by Eiko Ishioka.

[@lennartmeyerstenfjeld9473]

You don't think the costumes made The Cell even more pretentious and superficial than it already was?

[@somberlight]

***** on the ending third? oh lord yes. still, the first scene in the kids head? made sense. not perfect sense, but enough sense to qualify as a redeeming feature. imo.

[@cygil1]

Joseph Garvin It rips off some rather good art by Damien Hirst. (I don't believed they paid him, though.)

[@nicholasholder6925]

The garbage pail kids movie is, by far, the worst movie I've ever seen.

[@jimmypadilla3441]

Certainly the ugliest movie I've ever seen

[@christhomas9221]

anyone else think green street is a british cult hit?

[@Nathan-hk3dk]

Hahahahaahahahahaahahaha

[@Slowburn_-lk4oh]

Your right but it was never gonna be a film critics like

[@robertmcelwaine7024]

Ok, here's one that I think it's safe to say has no redeeming features and earned itself a 0% score from critics on Rotten Tomatoes because it's that bad: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow.

[@JackTonyMontorrence]

Maybe it's not the worst film ever, but if you narrow down the category to American popcorn comedies then Paul Blart:Mall Cop tops the list.

[@themoops811]

Jaws 3D has a brilliant score

[@jd899]

Interesting choices

[@billymabum3514]

Green street was brilliant

[@monkey39128]

Yeah i enjoyed it. Kermode seems to think it was glorifying hooliganism but I thought it was the opposite.

[@billymabum3514]

@@monkey39128 I agree it was definitely the opposite . He must’ve missed the end.

[@RichardofAckland]

And doesn't that make you feel so old!

[@potterpotty01]

micheal bay's.......fill in the blank

[@blokey8]

The only reason I rank Revenge of the Sith higher than Attack of the Clones was because whiny Skywalker finally gets boiled.

[@rossprior]

Kermode sounds like Chris Morris here.

[@jd899]

Some good choices

[@johncody6404]

Dude Where's My Car. Oh dear

[@MegaIkedog]

It's a pretty stupid film, but still funny!

[@johncody6404]

@@MegaIkedog To be fair, it's definitely not the worst, I think I just found it irritating as I have a friend who insists it's the best film in the world.

[@WAAAAAAAAAAAY]

"Snow dad's better than no dad" :)

[@3george7]

Someone please introduce Mark to 'The Room'. XD

[@patrickadams7120]

Superman IV - The Quest For Peace.....that movie made me cry angry tears at what had been done to my beloved hero and it really did make me stop going to the cinema for a while,and it's even worse when you hold it up against the first movie which is still one of the best superhero movies ever made. It's hard for me to find unredeemeable movies because i always look for the best in a film Clash and Wrath Of The Titans i have to say did give me major facepalm

[@RolandDeschain1]

THE LAST AIRBENDER. Nothing can get worse than that. There are a few decent music cues, though.

[@playthatfunkymusicrobot]

Movie 43. Jail for all involved

[@lw3646]

The Haunting of Sharon Tate. Birdemic. The Exorcist II The Swarm Supergirl Mac and Me Sheena When Time Ran Out Anaconda Batman and Robin Freddy's Dead Leprechaun in Space Shakma The Wild West Halloween Resurrection I know who killed me The House of the Dead Red Tails Food fight The 5th Wave The Bye Bye Man

[@d1e1c0k2]

The problem with Boise-Moi isn't even the content, it is that that is probably the only thing about it that actually is good, is that satirical wink it's doing. The actual film itself is incredibly one note because it just keeps repeating that gag.

[@EmoBearRights]

The Specialist - a Stallone/Stone film which is one redeamed by being so bad it's funny.

[@dennett316]

A recent addition....The Boy. The ending "twist" had the entire audience laughing their heads off. It ruins all that came before it in the movie - and that was B level haunted doll shlock. Unbelievably, laughably terrible.

[@sebulon1985]

also, BOTH the animated Titanic movies - the one with the rapping dog and the one with the giant octopus

[@henman09]

The Room.

[@Anton-wk8lv]

The person who suggested Bullers over Broadway needs a psychiatric evaluation.

[@LoN3wOlF5tudi0s]

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Santa With Muscles, Jurassic Park 3, Batman and Robin, Billy Madison.

[@squamish4244]

The Expendables - absolutely horrendous unintentional parody of action films with old guys running around looking for their Depends.

[@badhead]

they only started to do podcasts in 2005. Long after AOTC came out

[@dontmakelemonade]

S.Darko enough said.

[@TheHitherto]

I can't agree with Mark about Baise-Moi being "terrific", but I recently watched it a second time and it wasn't as completely unwatchable as I remember it. Glad to se Jack being brought up. That was truly an abomination. I kinda liked The Cell. Zero substance, but lots of nice things to look at. Several movies can't even get that right.

[@odbear100]

Roller Boogie....look it up.

[@randomsamno9]

I'm talking about the films they review not the actual reviews themselves btw.

[@kennethmccrindle8886]

Hellboy 2019 Highlander II Theatrical version Max Steel Gotti Jaws the Revenge Mac and Me Return to the Blue Lagoon United Passions (a movie so bad the Guardian called it Cinematic Excrement) Cats Superman IV the Quest for Peace Jack and Jill the two Grown Ups films 47 Ronin Inchon Bio Dome Jury Duty The Mummy with Tom Cruise The Emoji Movie

[@Tisply25]

You know what movie that people say is bad, but i really love? Steven Spielberg's 1941. Have you ever seen it?

[@kennethmccrindle8886]

@@Tisply25 I have seen it and i really liked it. not quite Spielberg's worst, that honour goes to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the crystal Skull

[@Goochbot]

New Years Eve

[@EuphrasieF]

The Nostril-Picker? Is that a real movie? Off to IMDB.

[@bengolious]

Yay! Johnny Nmemonic!

[@BrotherJosephus]

I find it amusing how the first we hear of Kermode is him being loud.

[@blokey8]

@badhead do you have any way of getting the Attack of the Clones review? I know we'll be treated to one of the 3D rerelease, but the more rants the better.

[@anthonybradley1555]

they should do a small segment each week reviewing one or two classic movies to mix things up for example a movie celebrating an anniversary, but maybe its just me wanting to hear sex lives of the potato men being roasted once again.

[@alextromagnetic]

My Sister's Keeper, The Danish Girl, Thankskilling

[@W00DSMAN]

The films of Richard Driscoll are truly the worst things anyone could ever see. I wont even name the films here as I don't wish anyone to investigate further. They are truly awful and they will kill a part of you.

[@jamesblames2]

I walked out of The Cell as well..........and Boxing Helena was atrocious

[@guitarreilly]

green street was a comedy i thought the accents were hilarious it should have had a laughter track every time frodo was on screen

[@omarwarsame3047]

When did they do this on

[@UKNOWIT88]

The Cell? Really? Visually awesome

[@neilevans8204]

Fred The Movie. SCREAMING LIKE THIS!!! SCREAMING LIKE THIS!!!

[@thegladve]

ocean's 12, if you thought awful cinematography and an awfully confusing plot wouldn't ruin a movie by their own, try multiplying it by 12 and you get this movie.

[@angusgafraidh2255]

They mention but do not further consider what is the worst film ever made, any time, anywhere by anybody - "Carry On Columbus".

[@tobyhart]

The Elephant Man had no redeeming features.

[@stewmott3763]

What you did there? I see it.

[@thecinematicmind]

I see what you did there.

[@DT-ml3hf]

When I was visiting Indonesia, I came across a bootleg move titled Titanic 2. It was set 1000 yrs after the events of Titanic where they make a replica of the original ship, yet it looked like it still set in current day. It was all green screen and the actors all looked like former porn stars. I kept on thinking a raunchy sex scene was gonna break out but it was straight the whole way. Quite a remarkable piece of garbage lol

[@Jimbo8012]

Worst films I've ever seen are: Death Proof; xXx; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen; Blair Witch Project; 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag; The Business; Run For Your Wife; Sex & The City; Batman & Robin; Gangster No. 1; Essex Boys; Nativity 3: Dude, Where's My Donkey? Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger Highlander 2: The Quickening; Highlander: The Source. None of these films have any redeeming features whatsoever.

[@billymabum3514]

The Blair which project is pretty good

[@AJARyan-yn2uv]

Although I've never seen it(apart from its animation, which makes watching Hitler make one of his speeches feel more pleasant), the movie with absolutely no redeeming qualities is Where the Dead Go To Die.

[@TheVolginator]

That's just not true. That is one interesting little movie

[@EdPlays1997]

When was this recorded?

[@Jordannadroj20]

Couple years ago

[@randomsamno9]

A lot of these are pretty well known bad movies, if you really want to discover films with utterly no attempt at any merit have a look at some of the Cinema Snob reviews or even Red Letter Media's Best of the Worst. Some funny gems in those reviews but ultimately just an awful lot of dreadful straight to VHS kind of things.

[@sebulon1985]

The Last Airbender is the most poorly directed, inept major potion picture I've ever seen

[@seamusburke639]

I remember one of the original storyboard artists from the show talked about how incompetent the framing of shots was, even without comparing it to the original show. Like that scene with the servant girl giving the foot massage! Did M. Night really need to "reveal" her as he did?? What was that about??

[@supersatanic]

The Hangover part 2 has no redeeming features.

[@thecinematicmind]

Film Socialisme.

[@gracol435]

The first scene in The Cell (J-Lo walking over the dunes) is great. And then it falls apart - possibly because it requires J-Lo to actually act... And then Vincent D'Onofrio eats the increasingly dingy scenery... Don't, please don't. get me started on Battlefield Earth. Or "Town & Country" - it brings out the puritan side of my heritage (not the story - the sheer mind-blowing cost!!!)

[@blokey8]

Oh well. I'm now in the bizarre space of being slightly bereaved by the announcement that no other Star Wars films will be rereleased in threed, purely because I won't get to enjoy the ensuing rant.

[@ChernovFan100]

So what ones have you seen? Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Django Unchained are amazing. Jackie Brown is good, Death Proof sucked (apart from the awesome car crash scene in the middle) and Kill Bill was decent.

[@waynedoyle5584]

" dirty grandpa " ....wtf ????.... de niro....WHY ????

[@thejoker0123]

movie 43

[@gracol435]

The first scene in The Cell (J-Lo walking over the dunes) is great. And then it falls apart - possibly because it requires J-Lo to actually act... And then Vincent D'Onofrio eats the increasingly dingy scenery... Don't, please don't. get me started on Battlefield Earth. Or "Town & Country" - it brings out the puritan side of my heritage (not the story - the sheer mind-blowing cost!!!) And "Baise Moi" is the only way you would get away with saying that at that time of day...

[@WalterLiddy]

I guess Kermode didn't notice that right in the middle of that battle scene in Gladiator you can see some of the actors goofing off and laughing.

[@octaviancaesarhibernicus4447]

The Perfect Storm has every fucking cliché under the sun from the rookie to the old man of the sea at the end of the bar. Urrrrgggh!

[@thomasbutcher3593]

I quite liked Green St

[@frasermccready8238]

The room ??

[@guitarreilly]

That film never gets old. It's the citizen Kane of bad movies

[@stephenkissane4268]

Jaws 3 is near excellent and boxing helena is very good