Baked Asparagus - You Suck at Cooking (episode 105)

Asparagus, while possibly the world’s most dangerous vegetable, has a quiet and peaceful disposition. Some say that baking the asparagus calms it’s temper but they are wrong. It was born calm.
yousuckatcooking.com
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I forgot the salt. I FORGOT THE SALT. Never forget the salt. There's nothing that doesn't need salt except cheese. There's a ½ teaspoon of salt and it's necessary.
1 bunch of asparagus
1.5 tablespoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of smoked paprika
½ TEASPOON OF GODDAMN SALT
15 minutes of heat at 4 hundo
Please send soothing words to make me feel better about myself tx

[@yousuckatcooking]

DAMMIT I forgot the salt. I mean, I put it in when I made it but accidentally left it out of the video. There's a half teaspoon of salt in there, added with the paprika, and it's absolutely crucial. BRB deleting account.

[@malikmamo]

No

[@davidlingo9716]

You can call it a running gag by now lol

[@furisado4396]

Youve failed the asparagus

[@yousuckatcooking]

@@davidlingo9716 Is two times a running gag? Take that back David

[@hannahsivia3785]

How dare you. I want a formal apology.

[@BeefBronson]

“Then in the undo preheated to four hundo they gundo for around fifty mundo until the almundo start to brundo.” *sniffles* it’s beautiful.......

[@yousuckatcooking]

ty Beef Bronson I'm crying too

[@vallov4188]

fifty or fifteen? brb oven is on fire

[@veziusthethird]

@@johnpisser1983 **distant road roller**

[@lala-kc3br]

G

[@joyce_rx]

@@veziusthethird road rollo

[@kobalt_ren01]

I love how the subtitles for the Asparagus Oath are in a fancy medieval font.

[@analogstic1972]

I thought you were trolling. I frickin lost it when I saw you weren't. I didn't even realize you could change the font of KZbin captions 😂

[@sfeighner2768]

Damn, I wish I could see that. I'm Android

[@analogstic1972]

@@sfeighner2768 So am I, hit the three dots in the upper right corner of the video

[@AutumnReel4444]

Ty

[@clockofdestiny7815]

"Laughs in tablet that made it into rectangles"

[@perseverance2340]

Your videos are like my favorite lucid fever dreams. While you’re watching it’s like “yeah that make sense”. After you watch the vid, you question if you even witnessed it and what does it mean. Then you have to tell your family bc you don’t know if you should go to therapy or not. Was I traumatized or enlightened? I think both. So, thanks for the great vid. And even if you forgot the salt, we were gonna add it anyways.

[@yousuckatcooking]

You're welcome :)

[@happysumo8138]

With great asparagus comes great responsibility. I promise to wield the power of asparagus wisely. To use the awesome destructive power of asparagus for good and not evil. If I can spare an asparagus for a friend or a guest, I promise to always do my very best. To nurture my body, to wield it proudly, to not stab things irresponsibly. So say we all, asparagus.

[@zainiikhwan9405]

Asparagus

[@tomlgkb7883]

Asparagus

[@MegaSilvio78]

i cri evrytiem

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

A spare, I guess.

Asparagus

[@nembutalfaye]

"the worlds most dangerous vegetable" *laughs in parshiv*

[@yousuckatcooking]

haha oh right...

[@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley]

Being blinded by onion _fumes_ is pretty damn dangerous.

[@_Myrhl]

Im pretty sure durians are pretty dangerous too, including the spiky putside

[@JesusChrist-yh4pi]

@@_Myrhl That's a fruit tho. They're tasty af if you get past the smell.

[@juanvaldivia8001]

@@JesusChrist-yh4pi yeah, and tomatoes and cucumbers are fruits too? don't make me laugh

[@YodaMan.]

i learned so much about coffee and pee today, thank you!

[@yousuckatcooking]

no problem!

[@potatomansh5900]

@@yousuckatcooking amongus

[@fatfingerjoe1356]

@@potatomansh5900 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⢀⣴⣶⡾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⡟⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀ ⢀⣿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣀⣠⣴⣾⣮⣝⠿⠿⠿⣻⡟ ⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠉⠀ ⠸⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠻⣷⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣻⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡿

[@proburgers2259]

Asparagus: A quiet disposition. description: THE GODDAMN SALT IS MISSING!

[@recoveringsoul755]

description is missing the almonds.

[@gerrydiliberto2212]

All of my family died in a potato shark attack 😢 when I close my eyes I can still hear their screams

[@NotKimiRaikkonen]

Omg. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@nou4474]

Should have had an asparagus spear

[@furirahmantya5716]

Rest in piece, ramen.

[@nitro_anh]

Ripperoni to your family.

[@bantamdude]

The potato mashed them?

[@seungjaelee6100]

you know he's not messing around when he is using asparagus, my uncle killed two people with that.

[@itsrey5475]

My son was killed by someone's asparagus wielding uncle....>.>

[@ohhkennny766]

My dad was killed by an asparagi spear maniac threw from over 2000 meters >.>

[@isolofvtion]

Yo you guys are joking right 😂

[@seungjaelee6100]

@@isolofvtion no he is in jail for like 25 years with a 13000 dollar fine

[@isolofvtion]

@@seungjaelee6100 *bruh*

[@ThetruemeK]

Watching your videos has added like 10 years to my life expectancy thank you 🙏💙

[@teddtheyoung]

anyone else go through this guy's entire library every time he posts a new video?

[@xenosmithmaker2335]

1:45 is no one going to talk how perfectly he stabbed the book through the breads eye

[@awaitingconfirmation8406]

He glued 2 pieces on either end

[@shiro6962]

@@awaitingconfirmation8406 bruh

[@awaitingconfirmation8406]

@@shiro6962 lol

[@notavailable8227]

@@awaitingconfirmation8406 /r/whoooosh

[@cornybeef]

Chiperi Andrei Wow

[@1vagitar]

discovered this channel last month, and have binged watched every single episode. i only wish there were another 4 years worth of content to watch. whelp.. see you in 4 years.

[@yousuckatcooking]

see ya

[@1vagitar]

@@yousuckatcooking lowkey, I clicked the notification bell

[@SKRUBL0RD]

fact: there's no such law against impaling someone with an asparagus spear

[@hannahbloom]

Flummoz aspearagus

[@flatroadkill]

🤨

[@groverjuicy]

Speary grass

[@AlterationA]

I love these videos. I watch them multiple times. Sometimes for fun, sometimes to actually make the recipes, and sometimes again to backtrack when I get distracted by the humor and have to watch the actual informative parts again

[@kpie1104]

I literally have leftover asparagus and I was looking for something to do with it lol, perfect timing. ... I’m definitely not going to cook this recipe but I will stab things with the asparagus. Edit: I will cook this actually bc I found some wild almonds

[@seanmartin7257]

Kpie the almonds are unnecessary in my opinion, roasted asparagus just with olive oil and salt are great

[@majora231]

How was it ?

[@cornybeef]

Unnecessary, that’s not very nice what if the almonds were to see this comment they would be sad, and saddened almonds taste awful

[@kpie1104]

majora231 I’m making them later tonight for dinner :) I’ll keep ya updated

[@kpie1104]

Sean Martin I’m sure that’s great too but I’m also sure the almonds add another layer of flavor that will surprise your average Joe

[@noraeve9141]

I can’t tell if this video violates KZbin’s terms and services. Lots of carnage...

[@kimberlynguyen124]

Shhh 🤫

[@Akeari]

@Nora Searles It does. Its sad that KZbin lets violent videos like these stay up. Disgusting.

[@spacenomad5484]

It's Terms OF Service, or TOS for short. Those are the Terms under which KZbin provides its... nvm I get it now lmao

[@bantamdude]

KZbin: Demonetize at once!!

[@PiousMoltar]

"We'll start by taking the asparageese and washing off the asparticles" Dammit I'm only 16 seconds in and this is already gold. Asparageese is the plural for asparagus now. It just is.

[@TOGthatoneguy]

the video editing is amazing. man i love this channel every time it uploads i jump for joy.

[@moja__]

Haven't renew my asparagus license so I'll pass on this one

[@arjex-arjun]

aspara-GEESEEEE Is the true plural of asparagus

[@LordKyler]

Actually, the correct plural is asparaguses, though many people mistakenly claim it ought to be asparagodes or asperagi

[@indominusrex1652]

@@LordKyler you must be fun at parties

[@LordKyler]

@@indominusrex1652 Thanks! Here's another fun fact - since an asparagus has no internal skeleton, a stalk can fit through any opening that's only slightly larger than the stalk itself!

[@indominusrex1652]

@@LordKyler oh I didn't know that thank you for the information

[@dillangeiser4820]

Yeah it is

[@ita104]

Tbh this channel is lighting up my days and making my tongue happier in this quarantined trying times

[@willidesi]

Am I the only one who loves the fact he took the rule:”don’t play with your food” and threw it out the window?

[@nellyboi3043]

Yes you are definitely the only one. The 2.3 million other people subscribed to him just accidentally clicked subscribe without watching and enjoying any of their videos.

[@MaybeLily1234]

Last time I was this early "onion" was still "oven"

[@somemagellanic]

ondo?

[@rainespiano]

Ondo on 4 hundo

[@NotKimiRaikkonen]

What's oven?

[@somemagellanic]

@@NotKimiRaikkonen oven joe mama balls

[@yayalu8650]

@@somemagellanic oven->onion->ondo

[@MrKiller2021]

"what you egg?" *stabs egg with asparagus*

[@lilugoart]

Shakes-pear if i ain't wrong

[@chronos6649]

He still hasn’t finished the egg series, has he?

[@joppeszus]

I love you for this.

[@thatoneweebguy6379]

You are a saucy boi

[@J0hnHenrySNEEDen]

"Egg carton......he had cracked me."

[@palchumfriend4887]

ha he forgot the salt. I guess i dont suck at cooking, HE sucks at cooking. how the turns have tabled.

[@noramakesvideos9192]

Tables has turned*

[@glamourgirl656]

God I love your effects it caught me so off guard I actually had to stop and think if u actually managed to stab through anknife with an asparagus I mean of course you did, it is the natures stabby stabby green

[@jordanarnold6783]

...damn I've missed you, YSAC.

[@yousuckatcooking]

I've missed myself

[@weyoflife]

me three

[@shane9245]

me ten

[@fallen_leaves1674]

@@yousuckatcooking does your food ever taste awful

[@sajidulhaqababil77777]

Meh 11

[@jojokiri]

I guess we could call it, aSPEARagus

[@googlekitchengkitchen5274]

ya we also

[@ixnova3107]

Somebody's getting stab with a spear for that pun. (But I gotta admit it, it is a good pun)

[@HubertofLiege]

Take that “e” out of team and “I” like it. There’s no i in asparagus, Kyle.

[@livindeadghoul]

"The world's most dangerous vegetable" My guy, onions are literally just edible tear gas

[@stillepicddt684]

No, they're just mean.

[@krymson_predator3606]

I absolutely love your videos! I binge watched all of your videos after I learned about your channel and can't wait to try some of your recipes!

[@Chippz]

me: im afraid of potato shark therapist: potato shark doesnt exist potato shark: 0:07

[@kayla4551]

The potato shark hunts me in my dreams

[@otavio048]

Dead meme format and badly used

[@chrislin6570]

Lawyer Morty bruh it's just a comment.

[@otavio048]

@@chrislin6570 a cringey one

[@hairyputter5363]

@@chrislin6570 a cringey one

[@sr6826]

Got your book for Christmas. Does an excellent job of boosting up my tablet on the treadmill while I run. 10/10 Good work.

[@bantamdude]

I always wear safety Gargoyles when handling sharp asparagus. Don’t run with asparagus kids!

[@watrgrl2]

This had to be a time consuming video to make what with all the kitchen repairs you had to make afterwards. Just know we appreciate all you go through to bring jocularity and good recipes into our stressful lives.

[@jessicashadow]

I was literally reading this recipe in your book yesterday!

[@yousuckatcooking]

well whuddya know

[@catthecat958]

Asparagus: is dangerous Me showing my mom: I refuse to eat murder weapons.

[@OverSpark65]

This is the only food related channel I watch on KZbin. It’s without a doubt the best food content I’ve seen and only will see. It’s funny because he’s actually giving us recipes and humor at the same time. I seriously hope you make some type of revenue off of these videos. Please keep them coming 😂 your comedy is gold material.

[@vampiredemon24]

Tip when working with asparagus, break off the end of one and use that as your indicator of where to cut the rest of the bunch. This will make it an even cut and nicer presentation.

[@Will-vd2xj]

Jesus Christ, what is that mannequin head?!

[@BattyBigSister]

It's from an earlier video where he talks about his awesome vegetable make up range.

[@breakfast3006]

From the episode “Special bagel breakfast and bagel trick.” He shows off his food makeup line

[@frederikfelding8476]

Its from one of his other videos. Cant remember which one

[@BattyBigSister]

@@breakfast3006 Thank you! I was way too lazy to actually look it up, so I'm glad you're here. =o)

[@klad2860]

He look like Felipe (search if you don't know what it is)

[@Paulspencechanel.]

I've been a chef for 20 years. Your channel is just the BEST!! I love your show:) best tv cooking show ever:) Just a shame other chefs dont get it when I tell then to put the onion two-hundo:( Keep up the amazing work:)

[@typicalweirdo381]

i haven't seen this channel for awhile,you didn't change,im so happy rn

[@IanJGregory]

This channel is always great, but this is easily the best one in a while. Keep up the good work! Maybe one day I won’t suck at cooking!

[@squidink.6310]

The potato shark is native in the far reaches of Australia. It makes sense that it wouldn’t be counted

[@gamerdash153]

He's like John Wick, but instead of a pencil, he uses Asparagus xD

[@isthatbraised]

He is a man of focus, commitment,and sheer fucking asparagus

[@slipupyt]

Haven’t watched this man in a year, pretty nice to come back.

[@ThatDomino]

My heart almost stopped beating when you didn't upload but now you came back! Great video by the way.

[@havingicecream]

"Mm, that's a damn good { }" is low-key my favourite phase

[@Bendyrulz]

Man, it’s been forever since you called your oven the onion. I missed that.

[@MrNight78]

A person who gets to the point immediately, cooks wonderfully, and adds humor? Wow... You deserve much... much more subscribers

[@bruh-wf3yj]

You are in my opinion one of the best youtubers of all time thank you

[@tisme3680]

Aw man, all this time I've been using almond paste to reassemble my sliced almonds! Thanks, YSAC, I'll just stick to wood glue from now on!

[@mil2915]

you are the cooking alternative of micarah tewers

[@The_fusion_physics_guy]

Sometimes I don’t watch an episode of this for a while and then I do and realize, “huh, I think these are just the best videos on KZbin.”

[@NateTDOM]

I love how good your editing has gotten.

[@virtue7574]

This I just YSAC flexing that he can do transitions

[@jordanirving1329]

Holy Crap this stuff tastes amazing. Really recommend it.

[@strawmanfallacy]

I've been waiting with bated breath for a new episode. Thank you good sir.

[@termikes174]

Just discovered this channel. So stoked!

[@BlakieTT]

Take the Asparagoose out of the onion. You have no idea how much your comedy fits me. \o/ OH NO, SORRY. YOUR PERFECTLY CORRECT COOKING INSTRUCTIONS!

[@saffiegirl4158]

I keep thinking of the words of the immortal Mr. Johnny Cash, “But I asparagused a man in Reno, just to watch him die...”

[@sparce206]

Thank you for another amazing recipe, Mr. YSAC!! I hope you've been well !!

[@willowdrakon]

Asparageese is now a part of my vocabulary forever

[@electricenergy116]

“See the goop lab episode four” Jontron would like to: know your location

[@kenspecks5093]

Dislikes are from people that were attacked by the legendary potato shark.

[@billjamal4764]

I forgot how happy these videos make me

[@TJF588]

Just did this recipe via the book! I neglected to cut the stiff bottoms off, though... But, I, my mom, and our dogs(?) seemed to like it well enough regardless~ By the by, thank you for these flavorful subtitles.

[@sora3976]

after a year, im still not sure if i can trust this cooking channel or not

[@yousuckatcooking]

Aside from me forgetting the salt a couple times you can trust it

[@PHDL1295]

what does a vegetarian say when their tire goes flat? should've bought asparagus... thats it thanks for coming to another ted talk

[@chanvalentine8283]

Groan😧

[@rachelc.531]

These keep on getting more and more surreal

[@redsoxrubberchickens]

This was my first time watching your videos and I don't think I've ever subbed to a channel faster loo

[@safiyasuraini2062]

Mmm another day, another YSAC

[@dylanbond1095]

Me: drowning Nobody: Absolutely nobody: Potota shark: ima getcha

[@Ashen75]

bad format.

[@thisisadam7674]

Just damn clever, funny, and entertaining stuff. Keep'em coming. 🤘

[@afterdarkcoffeeclub7331]

This guy took the time to hunt a potato shark and it’s only on screen for 3 seconds. What a legend,

[@isaacdonnelly7835]

1:54 take the asparagoose out of the onion 😂💀💀

[@stikki8493]

We should definitely change asparagus's plural to "asparageese" instead of asparagi

[@jaelynp]

I bought your book. The asparagus and pan seared strip loin with horseradish spinach was amazing

[@ariel_haymarket]

I am in love with this editing. Also I need a potato shark shirt.

[@Nedneyboi]

That asparagus spear scene was the most impressive, alpha shit I've ever seen.

[@skeetsmcgrew3282]

Ultra Chad

[@kaisel6771]

I’m a pro chef I cut my asparagus with my asparagus

[@irongolem123]

Awesome. This has got to be the funniest YSAC episode in a long while.

[@JDLOver9091]

I love this channel.

[@thedeeprot]

I used to pick up wild asparagus, I can verify that they're stabby

[@yousuckatcooking]

Lies. If that was true you wouldn't be alive

[@gavinbradshaw9055]

I'm quite amazed at how much work was put into this video. I'm also extremely curious how he put the holes in stuff for the asparagus to perfectly fit. like did he just blowtorch them?

[@Zero-uw7kb]

i just made this and just finished eating it and it is very very very good - thank you for this.

[@CarlosGarcia-ze6rt]

0:20 Lost opotunity to say: then you snap the ends of the bottom knuckles, like you do with a freshly bathed baby

[@cookmoontv4139]

It's really fun to watch this video... We'll keep an eye on the recipe...

[@michaelbutler1619]

I loved fishing for potato sharks in the butter sea back in the day. Just me, a bacon fishing net, and a bucket of sour cream chum. Good times.

[@waytoobiased]

Not only is the editing magic here insane, but the recipe actually is good. Nice work. This is also evidence for the theory that baking is better than boiling.

[@only1badass582]

Dude you frickin rock. Lmao you just got yourself a new subscriber.

[@sharp6517]

This was my first of his videos and I’m glad it was

[@asilanom6804]

I will forever associate that happy music with asparagus, thank you

[@cathuff5802]

Seriously these videos have a better production value then some actual movies

[@maxdarner5672]

Happy birthday Rick!!!!! 🎉🎈🎉🎈🎉🎉🎉

[@Samsziee]

Just discovered this channel.. I love u bless you

[@ameliabee2003]

Finally new content ILY ❤️

[@gabriellara8864]

This channel is awesome