Does The Narcissist Secretly Hope You Come Back To Them

[@RichD2024]

Everything I've learned about the narcissists seems so unreal. Like they aren't even human. They are parasites, vampires, with no desire to make a life of their own, but just want to leech off of others perpetually. I feel so naive sometimes for not realizing "people" like that existed. This has to be one of the more serious mental health disorders. It's frightening really.

[@traceybiles2061]

They are energy vampires

[@Wordsarejustwords]

I view them as Soul suckers. They don’t have one so they go for one’s full of qualities they value. Yea🎉. We won!!!!

[@SoldierDrew]

They're demon possessed. Mine was emotionally, mentally, abusive to me for 15 years. One day, after having been fasting, praying and reading the holy bible for months we were holding hands, her talking, me listening while mentally praying the blood of Christ Jesus of Nazareth to anoint her from head to toe, she suddenly jerked away shaking and wringing her hands while telling me to stop and don't do that. No way she knew I was silently praying in my mind over her. I convinced her to hold my hands and each time I'd silently pray in my thoughts and she would freak out. She feared touching my hands after those incidents. I knew after the third time she gave me that reaction that she was demonic possessed by evil. I've left her in the past, moved forward and refuse to look back.

[@joesteele1537]

Well said I just read what you said and I can’t relate so much. It’s the most unreal feeling when you realise that you’re partner is not who you thought she was. You can’t talk about it to anyone because it sounds insane what you are thinking i nearly got sectioned at one point. 11 years I spent with a psychopath/narcissist. I ain’t going to lie I think I could write a book if I wasn’t Dyslexic and mentally I’ll. 7 weeks no contact I am just at the beginning of my healing journey

[@clarknawrocki9718]

Just remember how unhappy you where with that person before you go back to them

[@funnygirlever]

So true! I felt so alone. I felt locked up. I felt depressed and more. I'm so happy I was strong and brave enough to go. Sadly I felt guilty leaving. Its been one year this month and I'm still healing. ❤

[@MrGearoid65]

​@@funnygirleveru did the right thing. The pain will ease over time so never give up and don't look back. U have your life back so enjoy your freedom and make the most of every new day. You've earned it! 🙏✨👊

[@radmila9626]

Never again,never

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

Yes, I totally thought that I am all screwed up, not lovable at all. I can not believe how miserable I was. Now I dominate in my life and I am loved and liked at all sides... and successful! They are demons in human skin.

[@catlady6938]

@@funnygirlever I am a year out too, but I know I have healed now as I no longer care. Interestingly a previous ex who is also a narcissist and I have not seen in 10 years tried to hoover me back recently I saw all the red flags and swiftly got rid of him. I feel a lot stronger and wiser now and very careful who I let in my life.

[@djmandyland]

They defiantly hope you come back so they can have the satisfaction of discarding you again and again and again.

[@Freethnkr]

They enjoy that part....sadist

[@humanistology]

Bottom line…they don’t want you, they want what you can give them-to use you more and/or finish you off! Just say NO!

[@mavismounds]

Exactly…

[@missta1820]

So true.

[@traceybiles2061]

Amen

[@kimcastiglione2251]

My ex covert Narcisst is pretty happy with his new supply & we were married 35 yrs so no I don’t believe they need the old supply Unless it don’t work with the new of course & that went on for yrs because she was married as well . I accused according to his actions but He tried lying to keep the door open for a decade . I figured out the story called the new supply who also lied then called her husband and found out she was in an arranged marriage to another older man for cash lol 😂& she kept my husband on the shelf like a dusty toy . & he tried keeping me in the shelf for him as well . When I finally told him about himself I broke his poor Fragile ego so bad that he probably hates me . Plus touching their money 😮oh boy lol 😢😅bye loser. I can’t wait for his new supply who’s half his age to Dump him when she finally learns the truth , sees his nasty habits or & sees him in a dirty depends diaper in a nursing home & goes off to screw the younger doctor for a buck too

[@myGenevalewisshaw]

Damstr8, 9timer

[@charmee4045]

I rose above it. Still rising. Free at last. Lessons learned, life goes on.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

You’re FREE 🌸

[@funnygirlever]

Yes amen! Free and happy. Life goes on. ❤

[@BR9900-w5l]

I left him and he started trying to contact me. He's gone quiet now so hopefully he has gone for good. I have never met anyone so disordered and disrespectful 😒

[@bouallaguiali2906]

Hoping you're good now .

[@BR9900-w5l]

@bouallagui ali thank you for your kind words. He's still trying but I just ignore him..

[@user-kcrpine]

You’ve never met the average modern woman?

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

Read my previous comment!

[@nadinesoussi7352]

Just keep away to save your sanity.

[@catlady6938]

This is very true thank you. I remember during one hoovering session the narcissist was trying to get me to go back and he said “I love what you do for me” huge lightbulb moment I knew then he never loved me only what I provided for him.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

They do not "see" you because they do not have self. If they do not see themselves how they can see you? When they come hoovering back, they have no emotional memory of you, nothing. They just remember that you made them feel good somehow and they want that in the moment. As soon as you regulate their feelings you get kick in the but. And of they go to the next supply, or next identity theft. And a new person is a release of dopamine etc.

[@unclemonster48]

Kinda like hearing thank you for loving me like you do. I’m so confused and just full of self doubt

[@unclemonster48]

Mine is a her

[@jld75-75]

He told me I love how you love me!

[@traceybiles2061]

Mine ex said when we first started dating you make me feel good!! Should have ran then...been nocontact almost a year he has messaged twice a few months apart..He is blocked..Wth does he think I am stupid I know who all he has in harem garage...Small town everyone knows everybody and you can see all at restaurants or business..They can have him...Nothing is more of a turn off than a man who wants to screw everyone and anything...

[@BrendaBaBoom]

EARLY ON the first whiff of something being off was the lurking feeling of something TRANSACTIONAL in the air.

[@LooseCan88]

agreed

[@jaialaiwarrior]

They will interact with you in a very self-contained way. What you say won't matter; their love bombs are already going off inside of them while they look at you without registering your reactions.

[@janetcarrier313]

Yes I did notice the constant disconnect. He lacked emotional intelligence. Once I noticed his refusal to grow, I knew I was becoming bored with his cyclical antics. One of my non- negotiables was that he work on himself. The first time he made an excuse not to do that, I began the process of leaving the relationship. It's gotten better and better for me once I tended to self-care.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Sadly the lack of emotional intelligence (E.I.) is an inferior characteristic and therefore a total waste of time.

[@user-kcrpine]

The hyper and irrationally emotional incessantly claiming men lack “emotional intelligence” is precious stuff. Emotional intelligence is defined as the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of those around you. While women can and do impact the emotions of those around them and generally better than men, more often than not is done in a hyper manipulative or delusionally narcissistic manner. The idea women control emotions better than men is comically delusional in every conceivable manner. Sadly this has become just another term thrown around by women who generally fail to understand the meaning and is used as yet another means of bashing men. Accountability is poison…

[@yosecho]

I dont know how she can approach me after what she has done and how she told lies about what i did. We are no longer speaking and only God can really humble her and change her.

[@humanistology]

Amen!

[@banjiddle]

I can’t believe there are people like that. What a waste of energy! One of the monkeys called me, and said that the Narc was complicated. I thought how is that, and what does that mean? It’s all a game! Thank you for explaining the why and what. I don’t have time for this BS!! I wasted time and money on that!

[@malayjia1023]

I pray God continues to heal u and I pray that u heal from all the pain she caused. ❤

[@catlady6938]

She won’t change narcissists can’t change there is no cure, the best you can hope for is they get therapy to help manage their condition and that depends on two things, they admit they are a narcissist and want help.

[@K2K721]

There are still some kind and genuine souls. Find you again 😊

[@MrGearoid65]

My narcissist led me by the nose for several years. I cannot believe that I was so easy to treat badly but then I had a tough childhood, bullying, mental cruelty used against me and my self-esteem was so low. However, even though my childhood was rough and still affects me, I didn't become a monster like my narc..... still trying to figure that out. Am loving myself in the meantime, practicing radical acceptance.

[@louiseventer6580]

It's been just over a month of no contact and I plan to keep it that way. When he discarded me for the woman he has been cheating on me with, I insulted him so badly by telling him he's a creepy old man that hits on young women at bars. At that time I didn't know the new supply is 20 years younger than him. His image and looking young is crazy important to him. I really hope he doesn't try to come back...EVER!

[@ashleykathryn9038]

It's funny after my divorce from the narcissist I started dating another narcissist, since I knew finally how to set boundaries I became his secondary supply before he just ghosted me. So I guess that's good progress on becoming narcissist repellent!

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

Yay!!!✋💥💣Good for you! My idiot ex NPD/BPD is trying to hoover me to be his side chick for years.... And he is married and me too. What crazy making. Hit them with the brick when they come hoovering back 😝🤮🤢

[@Farm_Sim_Brisco]

When a narcissist is constantly taking and not giving unless it’s abusive rages or criticism how would it ever work.. that’s what Annoys me the most, My ex couldn’t self reflect and see that her abusive behaviour was unacceptable and caused me to become withdrawn which she then said the relationship had stagnated.. any normal person with self reflection would see this in them selves.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

It’s called a lack of emotional intelligence (E.I.) which sadly is a total waste of time.

[@stevereid4092]

If they knew it was unacceptable they wouldn't do it they are so broken they don't even understand what they did when they done it

[@BrendaBaBoom]

@@stevereid4092 The Narc is so darn full of themselves & spoiled they actually don’t care if their unacceptable bad behavior is …. unacceptable.

[@ericprater8335]

@@stevereid4092 Agreed. The "setup" as a lesson for educational purposes. Is but a huge rationalization and a complete pile of steaming b******* in my opinion. The only thing I learned about evil is that people can manifested in other people's lives which is sick and demonic. I want nothing to do with anybody like that. Praise Jesus in His name. Amen.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

Yes, you got on her nerves because you were depressed. Because of her. She wants you to be a clown to give her good time. And than she goes and find somebody else...Listen to Cluster B Milkshake!

[@celestemcmillan2006]

Exactly the way I feel, I am tired of being his transaction and nothing in return of feelings

[@lisaz4411]

Yeah they make everything a transaction that’s why I’m so glad I left

[@charlesforte6473]

Love your passion for helping those "ensnared" by these delusional, heartless liars. I kept coming back thinking "she" somehow fulfilled my needs, only to discover the exact opposite. These souless creatures basically "feed" on others in order to satisfy their own selfish desires and egotistical,self-centered life. It's insanity on steriods !!! Do yourself a favor : Walk Away ! ✌️

[@trovononthedragon]

I understand exactly how you feel Bro, my life will be better without her.

[@NMTDelightfulMusic]

No RUUUN AWAY from them and kick their ass when they come back with sad puppy eyes 🥺😰😭

[@unclemonster48]

I heard one of you wonderful therapist make a statement that helped me 100%. That ugly person the narcissist was while belittling you raging on you giving you the silent treatment and telling you they are sorry you feel that way. That person right there YOU are seeing and have seen. That’s who they really are. They will mot change

[@dannettepeters1507]

Have never been as lonely as I was during a 16year marriage to a malignant, cold narc. Once was enough.

[@hibbertsh]

Thanks Anoushka Well said they are extremely self centered, it's disgusting.

[@bowhunteraden]

I used to wonder why my wife would be be nice to me when I would do stuff for her mom but otherwise treat me like crap. I felt like I was just around for what she could get from me but now that I know about personality disorders it helps me understand the crazy.

[@RichD2024]

Yup that's exactly how they operate. My ex was the same way. She was nice when she wanted something out of me, and the second after she got it, she was back to being completely disinterested in me.

[@user-kcrpine]

Women do not love in the same way we do, gentlemen. Make the necessary effort to understand female nature and much, much more will make sense both as to their behavior and actions in general, but also as to why female narcs are a literal and irreparable plague upon humanity.

[@TheDevineFempress]

Who cares ….😂😂😂….being with a narcissist is like being with a bag of trash that slowly but surely sucks the life force out of you

[@xyaeiounn]

I was a terrible smoker, by which I mean I was a GREAT smoker. I loved it, was on 2 packs a day and cut down to a pack a day. A friend loaned me a book written by a high-ranking US Naval officer about quitting the habit, it worked on me for three days. It was like an infomercial in a way and very clever. I feel like these clips are working the same way, they can seem a bit repetetive and drawn out sometimes, but when they're playing in my ear I remember why I let her go and why I don't want her back. She's staying away to allow stacks of time to fall in between the way she did me wrong and the present moment, I know she'll float back into view one day. She was addictive and forgetting the person she could have been is still challenging, but knowing who she is keeps me settled and steady. Thanks for these clips, they're like sticks of incense that give a lift to the place I live.

[@jdfuchsia]

My ex always told me he liked my energy. What he "loved" was my kindness, and how positive I was and up to do anything. He definitely had devaluing moments with me, but the true monster came out, when I said no to seeing him mutiple times after he discarded me for the 4th and last time.

[@cherylmcelman6648]

First time (5) year relationship, he discarded me and was already grooming a 2nd while we were stil together. The discard devastated me. Two years later, he comes back slowly, my mom had just died, and I let him back in to my life, fast forward another 5 years, I finally got it that this is all transactional, superficial no real connection so I ended it with him. Hardest thing I have ever done. I have been NO contact now for two months, have not heard from the NARC.

[@ayeshaogloblina2127]

Perfect description so clear and amazing !i am contact free now roughly 7 month and I am prepared he will come back but I know what to do because videos like this empowers me with knowledge and gives me control over them !

[@SweepDailyWin]

👏

[@sharonhorwitz7903]

We’re on the same time frame and he’s reached out a few times….I’ve ignored all!!! Feels good.

[@nikolfilipp3049]

His secondary supply even looks like his primarily supply !!! And she acts like me as I did before I understood his actions and patterns. So Very much pathetic sick!!!!

[@unclemonster48]

After my experience I think I’m just fine being alone. The days of being married and committed to someone is over. Our society has made bailing when things get tough other than to remembering why you fell in love with each other

[@khanyisilewotshela4748]

Makes perfect sense. This is my story and I've seen it. I decided to walk away for good this time.

[@bryanwhitehouse4141]

Thank you for reinforcing my resolve and helping me to feel less isolated. 😊

[@Deakkon_and_the_Diplomat]

Think about this. We are thinking thst these people are able to just get anyone they want. They fet rejected WAY more than they will ever let on. Most of them are not pretty they are average. Look at who they dated in the past. You'll be the best thinf that happened to them

[@AXA747]

He said no one compares to me very good at lip service but I’m totally done

[@Samantha-cp1qm]

A transaction that they renege on. No thank you transaction denied.

[@MrRedPilllaughingatyou]

Thank you 🙏🏼 I love to here your thoughts. You help me a lot to understand things that don’t make sense. Also you help me think yeah what am I doing and why she does the things she does to me to get what she wants. It’s very difficult. 🥺

[@jessicaselenecenteno]

You find them someone new and let them go.

[@FrankandBaggioTheCavalier]

I’ll go back to her once I have redeemed myself, lost 10 kgs, and then proceed to move on with my life.

[@samwellgent5221]

My friend….I did this. Ended up I got back with her for four months, went on holiday fell out all again. Repeat cycles. Be weird, you’ll get pulled in again. It will be fun and amazing again but then the all too familiar intrusive nature surfaces. I recommend doing it still as I blew her away with my new image and life but just be ready.

[@mariawcislo301]

Fantastic video. G. Simon wrote, " One is an unconscious mechanism of protection from deep emotional pain; the other is a deliberate, calculated lie."

[@davidjthayer7417]

I am protecting myself from any further emotional pain she could cause while she lies to me .... Thanks for sharing !!!

[@AXA747]

No Actions just words to pull you back in

[@janedunster2618]

I was the primary for 30 years he’s now trying to transact the secondary to be his new primary when I questioned him about her his words “ she’s just like you “ They do speak their own ugly truth we’ve just got hear it and see it for what it is and that is brutal but with the help of clarity from Anoushka and others we’ve got this 🙏 Hold the light people the darkness in them will turn on itself and hopefully for them light will break through or not it’s their journey not ours 💜

[@daniellemorse6929]

Thank you for this video. I absolutely love your insight. It has been 50 days of no contact. I doubt he will ever return, plus he's busy with new supply.

[@missta1820]

Sorry to say this but there is a chance he will try and get back with you or keep you on the side. They are 🐍's.

[@daniellemorse6929]

@@missta1820 He's done that before in the past but I do believe the cycle is finally over because I wised up and realized I was being used. I'm pretty sure he's done with any hoovers at this point. 😁

[@unclemonster48]

I wished I had never learned what this narcissist thing was. I was happy before it’s going to take time to be happy again

[@janebraun4482]

I can relate to the 'control' issue. You get the feeling it is all about control, and they are good at it. Like flipping the tables, finding something I may have done, that is technically true, so my bad, and his so doing he escapes whatever spotlight should be on him. What a clever draw, for I have need to correct him, which draws me back and as they say get in the pen and get dirty with a pig, but the pig likes it!!

[@windysmith7367]

They are masters of manipulation to maintain control and to avoid accountability. I saw this clearly in my last discussion with my ex. It just sickened me. I was done with him. You see it was never about a relationship but about them and their need for control and power. They have to control the narrative which includes you and the relationship.

[@TuerlingsTim]

I like to thank you so much😊. With your sharing of knowledge the behaviour of my ex girlfriend became so predictable 😁. The standard trick with first say sorry and straight start to blame was so recognizable and did not hurt anymore 🎉

[@jilross4892]

We only receive breadcrumbs if anything

[@rachangel1951]

Makes sense.

[@debprobst330]

Love to see your smile....hope you are having a good day

[@rachgrigg2447]

The last 4, 5 minutes of this vid 👏🏽👏🏽

[@ronelynvallente8869]

Thank you for this, this is exactly what i need to hear to motivate me and to make my heads clear. You see i am exactly going through this right now, after almost 5 months of leaving my bf he just approached me and telling me that he misses me and asking about everything about me and all. And i knew that i am the prime supply and i know that he is not getting to anyone what i gave him. So now he is back again, he wants me back again. And it’s true we broke up soooo many times already and if those times didn’t work out what more now right? He will never change, he told me he is but the changes is temporary. He is the same still.

[@angelahart1479]

Thankyou Anoushka. So helpful and makes sense. I'm getting there and thankyou for replying to me yesterday.

[@gloriahornby2457]

Ty I really needed to hear this right now. ❤

[@martyvirtue4051]

Today I ran into the narc who has caused me a broken heart in 2020. I gave him my look of death.

[@missta1820]

He deserves the "death stare" and more lol.

[@unclemonster48]

Don’t give the satisfaction. The most damage you could do is not even know he was there.

[@leighalbee-hubbard]

Incredible...sssooooo true

[@donaldgansky5907]

I was discarded after 24 years out of the blue. She left with no explanation. Never contacted me again. It’s been 3 1/2 years. It was hard, but I never tried to reach out to her

[@christoffeljongwa192]

Well she's gonna hope till she turns blue

[@sharonhorwitz7903]

Mine has to turn purple!

[@Spark-Hole]

Good tool for me, thanks. I like to be with a narc, except that she is always cheated and might bring some decease to me.

[@traceybiles2061]

No more for me...I'm fine on my own..I validate myself..

[@Spark-Hole]

Rule #1 when the Narc call you. NEVER answer the phone immediately but half an hour later. Rule #2 NEVER compliment her to be the best but the second best in everything.

[@patricklena9307]

You're advice is amazing thank you for posting

[@damieneng8559]

You are the best I’m learning

[@rhododendrons_509]

She has her sights set on somebody with more money, more assets, and a fuller head of hair. But he's NOT gonna love her, and I doubt he's an empath. And when she fakes coming crying back, I'm already moved on. A beautiful intelligent woman who I've been aquainted with for years, I hit her up; turns out she's single, and yeah she's down to hang out and get to know each other better. We're gonna try out some new recipes as we are both interested in cooking. My ex-narc can go on 'dates' looking for someone else to torture, manipulate, and control, but I'm moving on the REAL THING. Somebody who isn't FAKE. And yeah WOW- has a stable sense of self- WHO WOULD'VE THUNK IT!! WHAT A CONCEPT!!?? A REAL PERSON!! Not a POP-TART, BUT AN ACTUAL AUTHENTIC DANISH.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

🎯🎯🎯

[@tyronesmith8305]

Eeeh I wish she would move abroad like she said she wanted to. Don't they ever go away? Still I have to focus ahead of me.

[@martinhays6811]

Their mindset is that he will comeback when he falls on his face but in my case my falling down is over i stand tall like a piller of stone now for 6yrs and thriving growing independence i will never go back to the cult they will have to live without me good luck to them all 5 of.them!

[@octavia9464]

This really was helpful to me! Thank you!!!

[@windysmith7367]

They want it easy. If I took blame for his anger, rage, and accepted his lies and manipulation and he could feel in control I know he would want me to come back. I can’t do that. Very good video. He was already getting validation from a secondary sources. I was his primary and I finally saw what I was dealing with. I broke up with him. Prior to this he had broken up harshly with me when I injured his ego and I took him back. I finally see the cycle. He is probably off to a secondary or new supply. He is 70 years old so you would think he would just stop dating but his disorder won’t allow it. Been no contact for 4 months. Only one hoover shortly after I left. I did not respond. I do miss him and healing everyday.

[@simonmatthews6652]

Don't worry i fully understand

[@BobbyJonesIII-pz1lq]

your wallpaper is cray cray

[@KimCaldwell-lr3xs]

Dated a covert narcissist for 2.4 years. New supply 3 days after I dumped him. Made me really realize what a crappy human being he really was. He wasn’t even going to tell me, a mutual friend told me. I confronted him and told him he was gross and invisible to me now. I also told him I would never chase him. He looked scared. I could see it in his eyes. He’s blocked on everything. Once I quit doing everything and holding him accountable for his actions he grew more distant by the day. The amount of women he has dated should have been the #1 red flat. He was never sorry for any of his actions, no empathy, and if I called him out about anything the rage…. He’ll never change or do the work. Ever. I’ve been no contact for almost a month now and my nervous system is falling calming down. Thank God for new supplies. I hope he marries her 😂

[@natashanolan6311]

This video helped me.. Thank you 🤗

[@venuswilliams4144]

Been no contact,blocked,no text,no phone calls accepted, so he went to vm messages,I still wouldn't answer,,he left a message saying why am I not answering his text or calls because he told me he doesn't want to be in a relationship, but wants to make love n be my companion,lol delete and Jesus is my companion,and his intimacy is the best I ever had on this planet,Evil one no thanks! In my head and went on about my day and life,it gets better people just do just what these videos tell u ,don't sugar coat the process please

[@TimStJohn-xp8rv]

Try like more times than I can count over 4 yrs!

[@simonmatthews6652]

They would love that

[@kenp9596]

Fantastic video. Thank you.

[@michaeljackson7361]

For the right supply

[@lenaleong4894]

Thank you

[@uriahdavid8529]

You really summed this up. But i am smarter than him on my stupidest day and sadly once the Lord gave me wisdom to figure him out and i dont back down to anyone i called him out and put into place and left. I gave him 4 chances. He broke my heart though i truly love him and see his potential and what God could do in his life. He doesnt want Him either:( But i do pray for his salvation in Christ

[@banjiddle]

Thanks!

[@anoushkamarcin]

Thank you Terry 😊😊

[@theosilva7188]

Hi there. Really let go man she will ruined your life. I have been there My friend be objective. Narcissist is a mental illness is attachment issue with mother , suffering from severe trauma.

[@mv3608]

How about a love bomb being with me and no paying for nothing? Please talk about that. Going through a tough time. He already moved on, someone else is thinking they are everting they wanted. I did that!

[@stevenkovler5133]

Yeah. We started the reconcile process. But I messed it up. Anyway, I am so addicted to her , plus we are so good in the …..

[@martaszyszka7654]

Sex is not the most important thing in any relationship, shouldn't be. There's no such thing as a reconciliation with a narcissist. I don't get this in people like you, admitting you're addicted to them. I'm sorry, but that's pathetic. I seriously loved my narc ex, I gave up my life for him. He didn't appreciate any of it. I also thought I was addicted, but his psychological abuse was much stronger than me missing his *** and our magical sex, or me loving his "good" side. Have your dignity, don't give it to her. That's exactly what she wants, you to be addicted to her, you crying over her. Try and save the dignity you have left for yourself, before you start hating yourself to the core. You sound like you really enjoy this abuse she's serving you. That's sad!

[@michellawarren1715]

Yep! I learnt that,. It's all to do with "your supply". Could never work out why this married man seemed to be romantically interested in me, and his wife would encourage him to cort me!,. I'm guessing she was conforming for him. Till the day I was exhausted with giving to him I had nothing left so I walked away. Months later I called his daughter out! Narcs: hate been called out on,.. I think he punished her for not conforming.

[@MegaRockstar48]

Have to disagree on this one. My narcissistic ex won’t come back to hoover me because I was too strong for them and called them out as a narcissist. So I’m too much trouble even though I was a great source of supply

[@krisq3616]

Mine turned out to be married, so I was secondary. He hoovered me and said that he wished we had gotten married way back when we first knew each other, when he was married to his first wife, LOL. I fell for the love bombing; it was so intense. Funny thing... He complained that his current wife gives him the silent treatment for weeks. Hard to say if she's also a narcissist or just trying to cope with his avoidant attachment issues. Our relationship was too long distance to go anywhere, but he was trying to meet up with me. Thank goodness I got out in time. He was already starting to devalue me, not me personally, but he started with my country. It's a weird feeling to be wanted so much and then to suddenly be ignored. I broke it off twice before I finally cut him off completely. He is so toxic, but comes across as so nice. He never lost his temper with me, but was very manipulative.

[@Samantha-cp1qm]

If you feel that you are a good soul of any thoughts, you will never ever ever look back today. That is nothing but pure demonic darkness. So why would you subject your good wholesome spirit that God gave us to appease their little ego.

[@StandingInMyPower]

He left our family and then took me on as his mistress. He tried to make me his friend and he told me all about his new girlfriend. I started calling his girlfriend because I got jealous. Now he wants nothing to do with me so he won’t be looking for me. He sees me as dangerous.

[@linalg10]

What if…you’re “secondary supply”? In that case do they still secretly hope you come back? 🤔

[@dinosaurlover2829]

Would they want to come back or expect that you do if they ghosted , you went no contact and haven't heard nothing from them?

[@RisingPhoenix-dn4xk]

If a narcissist found better supply that his pprimary supply will they leave us alone?

[@LooseCan88]

yup, but the mongoose always wins, and if you drop them 1st, so do you. Cheers.

[@RisingPhoenix-dn4xk]

At least we have a hope for a better future

[@sbaronson419]

My ex Narc has been watching my Whatsapp stories and tiktok posts for the last 3 months. We broke up 3 months ago (she left me with no closure. Till 3 days ago she posted on whatsapp for 3 days straight. I finally decided to stop looking at her posts. She then decides to remove me on tiktok as a friend but doesnt block me on whatsapp. Mind you, we havent been talking. What does this mean? Did I wound her? Is she trying to get me to react?

[@MojonMan]

She want you to confront her. She wants your attention. She wants drama from you. She’s not getting it from anyone else. Just block her on everything and focus on loving yourself and those around you that truly love you. But just as a heads up. If she’s truly a narc, prepare yourself for anything and i mean anything. My ex cheated on me and when i moved out she moved that person in 2 days later. A normal person would think they just moved on. But nope. In the last four months since i left shes hacked my email, created an internet account in my name twice and added herself to my car insurance. Ive been dealing with her for the last 15 years off and on. Only telling you this so you can learn from my mistakes. Protect yourself. Don’t ever go back. It gets worse every time you do.

[@joewatkinson3225]

I'm married to one 555 only there for full English breakfast

[@lindarobertson4744]

Will they want you to if they disgarded you and they have someone else

[@windysmith7367]

Yes, they want you as an option. They always want as many options as possible. They don’t like to be alone. Even if you open that door just a little they will know you are still interested. Even negative comments to them feeds them. They go for exes first.

[@elcee7800]

Yes! They want to have a 100% success rate.

[@robertaurens5665]

Business as usual for them then

[@julieling1212]

He didn't like he ex friend being whith her friend which was a friend who come to see her for tge weekend form London he told her not come nere me any more

[@julieling1212]

I said it was narcissist or trying to get her out because he had some one else

[@CeciliaMwitwa-b3p]

😢

[@123MsBluberry]

Did you ever think about having narcissistic tendencies in yourself?

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Did you ever think you have narcissistic traits in yourself bruh?

[@123MsBluberry]

@@BrendaBaBoom Yes, I did. I realized that I had narcissistic traits, especially in the past, which I am only now becoming aware of. And even now I am not completely free of them, as probably few people are. It helped me to understand and feel that it all comes from a deep desire for being loved and acknowledged. Which is in itself not pathological. We all have it. Sometimes we do things that hurt others deeply to get this need fulfilled. The task, of course, should be to avoid that. But seeing it in myself has helped me develop more compassion for myself and the other person. I think only honest compassion can break the unhealthy dynamic and get me out of the victim-perpetrator relationship. But this is also daily practice for me and it is just my experience. I don't want to deny anyones experience.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

@@123MsBluberry Yup, having empathy is a great character trait 💜

[@windysmith7367]

We all have some. It’s a spectrum.

[@faithanddevotion]

I don't think mine wants me to come back cuz I think they got involved with me to exercise more control over they guy I thought she was broken up from. Anyway, it's all crazy making and sucks.

[@faithanddevotion]

I wonder why I was discarded so quick, but I also thought that maybe cuz I loved far away.

[@alexanderlutz192]

Like which british Pornstar does she sound again? Thanks for the awesome advising regarding narcissism! 🙏🏻❤️

[@faithanddevotion]

I wasnt sure I was ever someone that was going to be a primary partner,.but a possible secondary partner. I don't know at all but it's screwed up.

[@julieling1212]

How dose thay feel ehsn u meet some one else whsn u whith tham he got very jealous

[@julieling1212]

Why would he be like thst whsn thsy don't care

[@Terri302]

It isn't jealousy they feel it's a threat to their control . The number one rule with a narcissist is control for the prime aims ✌️

[@Bianca-sw5id]

They don't tell you the truth

[@jenniferyates8100]

So true, all about control and what you do for them. All about them. No empathy no compassion. So why is there a trauma bond?

[@Terri302]

@@jenniferyates8100It's form many things mostly from emotional mental and physical abuse repeating over and over and over and over .. as long as you're blocked from your support systems they know you can't heal 🙏

[@jilross4892]

Shrinks get lots of money for giving their attention to someone

[@randybaca6132]

This all sounds good but I was married for 38 years and this happened it's been eight years since we broke up and 3 years for a divorce for children grown up with now for grandchildren the grown-up children are acting like she did but the only chance I have now is to deal with my grand children which I have been but she's the one who left I did not want the divorce so you're not really helping me I'm sorry but you're talkin about two or three 5-year be together that does not work with somebody like me I have found the truth and it's what setting me free that she is narcissistic or whatever but as far as I am concerned you haven't really touched my issues thank you for trying but it's not working at this I have found peace with me and I am gone to counseling and did deal with a counselor that understood a little bit about narcissism she's been going to one email by the way who is totally narcissistic himself so anyway thank you I know you care but in this case it's not real helpful to me

[@bluemoon8268]

… I think you put waaay tooo much emphasis or importance on who the narcissist is “courting” , as in secondary or tertiary sources … 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ … PLEASE EMPHASIZE that that is the narcs problems ! … By emphasizing the alternate love interests you are keeping the victims emotionally invested in what the asshole is doing !

[@betsyflor6110]

If they want you so much, why the discard?

[@windysmith7367]

If they feel challenged or threatened (ego) in any way they will discard in a minute. It’s part of the personality disorder. They don’t want to be questioned, have to deal with things, take responsibility, don’t understand feelings (yours) and if you bring up something legitimate they may take offense to that. They are hypersensitive and have a strong need to be right about everything they do even their shady behavior. Some discard as a reaction to remove you so they can get the upper hand and make you feel bad but it may only be for a few days, others do it for longer. You will be blamed for this. It’s embedded in their personality. Some discard if they have found a new supply and want to leave but won’t tell you that. They blame everything on you making you take responsibility for the failure of the relationship. They all avoid responsibility of any kind. You see this with all narcissists. It’s all characteristics of a personality disorder.

[@windysmith7367]

Let me add they only think in black & white, good or bad, and in their moment of feeling challenged or offended they only see us as bad or the enemy. They can’t view us in our entirety (like this is someone who loves me who is just trying to have a conversation with me). They don’t think like a normal person which explains their behaviors and their reactions.

[@jjmack6563]

To keep you in line. You may have tried to set a boundary or stood up for yourself. And they cannot take any form of criticism at all.