Bartender Reacts *Yanno...I'll Past* The Imperium's Top 10 Worst Jobs by Leutin09

[@Rebound1234]

What'd my job be? Charging a Swarm Lord with a bayonet, d'uh.

[@TheUkchiller]

What an outstanding guardsmen you are

[@redstarlegion7009]

​@@thewarpedone....1980Only in death does duty end.

[@steelbear2063]

Glory to the first man to die!

[@HunterSentinel]

5:13 honestly, being a bartender in WH40k is probably the CUSHIEST job you can get… heck, even the nobles who’ve got luxuries that todays .00001% couldn’t even dream of, have to constantly watch over their shoulders for back stabbers and preen and prance around perfectly or they lose face. As a bartender, as long as you know how to brew, then your golden and unlikely to be fucked with by anyone. You don’t fuck with the person pouring your drinks.

[@ChicagoReacts]

Exactly! I think I'd be okay.🍸

[@Dr.HooWho]

Eh they'll still kill you regardless they don't care lmao

[@aSSGoblin1488]

it would probably be from a honored lineage family of bartenders. no joke. well at least there was such a family in Rogue Trader as bath attendants.

[@martinosborne4703]

With regards to Psykers, "unsanctioned" means those who haven't been taken and trained. If you are a Psyker who hasn't been taken to Terra for training/disintegration, you are unsanctioned and a risk to everyone around you. The training process for becoming a sanctioned Psyker is pretty tough on the mind, as they need to be able to use their powers effectively, whilst making an effort not to draw on too much power that could either kill them, those around them, or even cause daemons to appear.

[@ChicagoReacts]

Oh, gotcha. Thanks!

[@HunterSentinel]

23:52 thing is, you can’t use drones or robotics or even servitors for this since electronics break down extremely fast when hit radiation… anything large enough to be able to do the job would require massive amount of fuel to use as well.

[@LordBloodraven]

Eversor assassins are absolutely meant to kill their target with no regard for collateral damage. Where a Vindicare assassin would eliminate his target using a single shot through an Exitus rifle (a powerful sniper rifle), the Eversor assassin will be dropped into the midst of the enemy via drop pod and expected to just go to town, slaughtering the target and anyone in the general vicinity. As for recovery, there tends to be a Code Word that can render them sedate, usually via powerful drugs that their gear automatically injects into them.

[@HunterSentinel]

Recovered or disposed of with a suicide bomb.

[@martinosborne4703]

One eversor assassin was sent to kill a governor and his family. One of the most iconic things he did was beat an old man to death with a baby.

[@steelbear2063]

@@martinosborne4703 That's metal

[@ChicagoReacts]

That is, in fact, the most metal thing I've heard in a while

[@loofy530]

Assuming I wasn't born into a noble family with fancy titles and lots of influence on a planetary scale? I'd probably become corpse starch to feed the troops.

[@steelbear2063]

There are absolutely normal jobs in the Imperium, as well as normal (kinda) planets, it's just that you mostly hear about galactic wars, so it's kinda hard to imagine a guy just sitting on a bench waiting to take a bus to work. Nor is it interesting honestly

[@rakat2746]

For me the Servitors are one of the best things in Warhammer 40k. They are everywhere, almost everyone had use one in livetime-with no bad feelings, there are millions Servitors in the Imperium. They are one of the darkest and most cruel things in this world. Try to imagine a society in which it is commonplace, to use lobotomized slaves who were once real fellow human beings. But who are now shadows of themselves, half machines which spend their existenz to clean some stears. And some of them, have even preserve a rest of their old self. They show in what a cruel galaxy humanity lives in.

[@ChicagoReacts]

It's amazing world building that's for sure. But God, what an awful world

[@jirokoshibailey2052]

There is a reason: war against AI/men of iron, hence in 40K AI is now 'abominable intelligence'. No AI? Fastest computer is human brain, tho volunteer to forced is different

[@tonyyul703]

​@@ChicagoReactsyou have to understand these people are in a consistent state of warfare the word "downtime" doesn't have any meaning anymore.

[@ThabaniTBowseHadebe0909]

27:33 Refueler guy ! It's not over quickly - as he burns and muscle falls from bone - that's a long long time

[@RelativelyBest]

Job I would like to have it 40K? Planetary governor or some kind a noble, with a Halo device implant, and I happen to be one of the rare few people who don't turn into an insane cannibal monster. Job I would probably have in 40K? Best case scenario: Agri-world farmer, Imperial guardsman (briefly) or some variant of underhive gangster. (Dito.) Also, lasguns aren't actually _that_ bad. When used against other humans they're powerful enough to blast entire limbs clean off in one shot, and they can even do decent damage against opponents in power armor if you manage to hit a weak spot. Plus, they're very reliable, easy to mass produce and easy to maintain. It's just that against the "main threats" to the Imperium (orks, tyranids, necrons, chaos marines, etc) they're individually not very effective. Like, a single guardsman realistically won't beat any of those things. On the other hand, the actual point is that you'll be seeing thousands if not tens of thousands of soldiers all firing these weapons at the enemy, all at once.

[@HunterSentinel]

20:44 for some that’s the case. Others it’s known, but because information is scarce they obviously wouldn’t even know what a psyched is, they’ve always just been able to read people really well. Some others are just really really lucky people with their psychics influencing the world around them subtlety without them realizing it.

[@Fydron]

Considering my job irl is making babyfood with my luck i would probably be working on mincing dead people for general population as food.

[@chrispapa101]

My job in the imperium of warhammer 40k it depends, ideally I would try to be an inquisitor or rogue trader, more realistically I would probably end up as a security personnel (preferably on a starship) or I would volunteer for the astra militarum (regular army).

[@tonyyul703]

Cadia Regs or Shock?

[@Dimetropteryx]

"Decent weapon" sounds like some tech heresy.

[@plaguedcoffee4584]

Donning a gasmask and charging that ork with a shovel, thats what i hope to do

[@redstarlegion7009]

Join us brothers, for the Emperor and the most holy shovel, charge!

[@plaguedcoffee4584]

@@redstarlegion7009 FOR THE EMPEROR!

[@NumbingDisasterAnon]

“What would y’all’s jobs be?” Whatever the Imperium decides

[@redstarlegion7009]

You will do what is required of you citizen, that's it; so suck it up and deal sunshine.

[@timbackman5915]

With my mechanical engineering background, maybe a low tier magos/assisting magos job on Mars. 😊

[@chill-lady-brook]

PancreasNoWork has a great video about why humans are the worst warhammer group to live as. I highly recommend that video.

[@milanradimecky6001]

I will work in some manofactorum for sure but my dream job. Well Militarum sounds just fine for me.

[@jendreg1935]

35:43 You don't

[@OCGreenDevil]

Kinda feel that servitors could do the refuel one

[@SamuraiHonor]

why waste a perfect servitor full of valuable gear and components, when you can have a bunch of penal crew do it?

[@Bragituba]

@@SamuraiHonorThis is the answer. Humans in the grim dark are a renewable resource. Technology is harder to make.

[@TheRealRealMClovin]

Wanna be Astartes but depends on which chapter recruits me I probably still wil die and likely end up as guardsman or maybe some kind of tech priest as I already am a full time programmer.

[@BeatmasterAC]

you as a Bartender could be assigned to still do the same bartending Job, but on a Paradise World / Garden World and having a relatively very good time. Worst case Scenarios would be only A) that a giant Tyranid Hive / Splinter Fleet will invade the Planet for a quick Snack before a huge confrontation against a militarized World, eat you and everyone you know alive and make a gruesome, horrific parody Version of you, in a form of a Ripper or a Gene Stealer. or B) the "sanctioned / controlled " Cults of Slaanesh in High society, on some of such Planets could get a hold of you and your mind, slowly corrupting and turning you into a pawn of Slaanesh and you start to torture and murderfuck everyone, until someone puts a Lasgun round in your head. Best / Normal Case Scenario would be that you live your peaceful and healthy Life on a heaven like beautiful Planet, doing your easy Job (compared to a backbreaking work in a Hive World or Agri World), eating healthy and 21st Century like Food, live in a good Flat or House like in the 21st Century, only getting knowledge about the Imperiums expansion, Planets vanishing, Crusades going good or bad, only through the extranet News or rumors / conversations between the Guests and you would probably never see a Space Marine, a Grey Knight, a Primarch, a Custodes or a Sister of Battle in your entire Life.

[@SilverAndDust]

Depending on the writer, a significant amount of Servitors are vat-grown bodies that were never really aware in any meaningful way.

[@evilbrox1801]

refueling a warp drive isn't really a job it's basically a punishment, if someone is deemed to still be loyal to the imperium but their crime was severe enough they in some cases are given penitent duties... some are sent to the battlefield but some are just determined to have done something so horrible that the only other service they can do for the imperium is to die refueling a ship, completely ridiculous but it's 40 k

[@Shalltear773]

40:08 definitely might not be the worst thing but human civilizations not under the Imperium tend to get destroyed by the Imperium if they're rediscovered or by xenos. the only confirmed human faction that wasn't part of the Imperium were the Interex. "Were" because Erebus decided to steal something from them and ended up causing a war between the Interex and the Great Crusade Era Imperium. be that as it may, it's still possible there may be currently undiscovered human empires out there. now what would my Imperium job be? unfortunately it would probably be either one of those producing food or maybe a servitor or worse because I'd definitely be a heretic. now with any really, godly luck I'd hopefully end up working on one of the Pleasure Worlds where things are not dreary and horrible nightmare fuel, assuming they never discover my heresy. lol

[@ChadTalos]

You gotta remember humans breeds like wild fire so they are the cheapest material cheaper than the las gun

[@ixchicken9052]

chaos cultist for me

[@jacob-nj4gm]

Knowing my luck, at worst I would be a servitor or at best in a penal army( which is an army of criminals refitted as soldiers who are even more expandable then regular guardsmen. My crime likely being carless in questioning the wrong person and that's assuming they don't just whip out a gun and blow my brains out ). For profession of choice either something nice like a high lord or inquisitor or at the VERY least a commissar if nothing else.

[@tonyyul703]

I'm an Astartes......

[@sabotage_my_o2748]

You dont get eversor assassins back... Theyre sent if you dont want anybody, friend or foe to come back as anything but a meat slushie, including the eversor assassin sent to do their task...

[@Glaaki13]

workers unite

[@notrandombeard9365]

How do you get worse than servators? Deamonculabra, don't look it up. Just stay in the light of The Emperor

[@What.D.U.N]

My job is to die for the Almighty lord emperor

[@warhawkbm]

I'd most likely be born an Ogryn. So ill just smack thing no matter what : >

[@redstarlegion7009]

You think these are bad jobs, give parts 2 & 3 a view.

[@Dimetropteryx]

Sign me up for the Adeptus Custodes. As they say, go big or go home.