Blue Alert! | Red Dwarf | BBC Comedy Greats

Swirly thing alert! Even in an emergency, Rimmer's a stickler for the rules. Subscribe: www.youtube.com...
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[@daruddock]

Honestly, I'm aware that hyperbole gets thrown around a lot and people are forever saying 'the [blank]-est ever...', but for me the joke about changing the bulb is the greatest British joke ever written. It summarises our nation's love of pessimism, moaning, refusal to improve upon outdated systems, blasé acknowledgement of terrible design flaws, and oblique irritation in the face of peril. Its perfect!

[@AquaShibby3000]

I'm American and I can tell you the first time I saw this, that exact joke nearly killed me. It's so perfect.

[@Stoffstoffer]

Yup.. Ive used the bulb change line many a time

[@SamuelBlack84]

We're rubbish and proud of it! 😂

[@haveatyou1]

Wot's geometry got to do with anything?

[@matthewpople9639]

There's the hard way, the easy way and the British way

[@Jake-vy2bh]

There are more quality jokes squeezed into this 3 odd minutes than whole episodes of some modern sitcoms.

[@disobey81]

There were more jokes in this scene than in the whole of series 7 =D

[@Cyborganna]

@@disobey81 I think season 7 WAS the whole joke.

[@doctorwhat3683]

Insane when you think about it - this style of comedy was decided so Rob and Doug could write much faster. Deadline panics help so much with them, the good ideas and jokes come flying out.

[@monstanoisebomb5996]

Miranda cones to mind 😂😂😂

[@RatelHBadger]

@@monstanoisebomb5996 Miranda IS the joke

[@baconcrusader7476]

Rimmer has the spine of a British politician.

[@cultureofcritique9735]

There's actually a Labour MP called Rimmer.

[@thewordlove4316]

a labour rat, indeed!

[@MrOlgrumpy]

@@Waaagh40KRed HA,ask the Argentines

[@daniel213141]

And Canadian.

[@flinx649]

@@cultureofcritique9735 hahahahaha...love it!

[@lexthepikachu851]

"sir, are you absolutely sure, it does mean changing the bulb" funniest line in the whole scene.

[@mihohobaba]

+Fallout Brony Funniest line in the whole series for me!

[@kylestubbs8867]

Really? Even more than 0:50?

[@kingdaniel69]

Yes, great line. But I do like the "including Welsh" line too.

[@Nooziterp1]

Closely followed by 'All hands on deck. Swirly thing alert.'

[@peterdefrankrijker]

This episode is chock full of fantastic comedy lines. White Hole is too.

[@djhuckfield]

I like how Cat's sense of smell is so good he can smell things through the vacuum of space, so far away that they're not detectable by radar

[@Willesden_Rab1_TV]

daaam ...

[@mattwho81]

Cats are often associated with a supernatural awareness. Red Dwarfs Cat May be trying to explain sensations the humans simply can’t process. So he calls it “Smell” because that’s what Lister can understand.

[@cjwars2828]

just a thunk thought their whiskers can pick up changes in ships gravity as itself is unnatural so outside pulls give a feel

[@CaptainCarling]

His nasal hairs were shimmying faster than the grass skirt on a fat Hawian hoola champion

[@paulhellawell5920]

Fat Hawaiian hoola champions are overrated. @@CaptainCarling

[@PrinceGastronome]

"sir, are you absolutely sure, it does mean changing the bulb" I have often said that this is the perfect example of how great Red Dwarf is...one of the best conceived and written jokes period.

[@leeballington3136]

Love how Kryten checks the lights come on when they go to "Blue Alert".

[@raithrover1976]

Love Rimmer and Kryten's Space Corp Directive skits throughout this series.

[@ReddwarfIV]

+Ghost051085 Space Corps Directive 196156? No non-commissioned officer shall oversee a production of Swan Lake in the Drive Room?

[@ProfessorHeavyTF2]

Space Corps Directive 195 states that in an emergency power situation, a hologrammatic crewmember must lay down his life in order that the living crew-members might survive. _(Someone carry on the reference.)_

[@JohnSmith-bx1mp]

@@ProfessorHeavyTF2 the Rimmer directive.....

[@Lord_Skeptic]

@@ProfessorHeavyTF2 no chance you metal bastard

[@jaysmith2858]

@@ProfessorHeavyTF2 Yes, but Rimmer Directive 217 states just as clearly, "No chance you metal b'stard".

[@asurlybarber3620]

"No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity." Words of wisdom, indeed.

[@kylestubbs8867]

I need to know the story behind that.

[@ChrisDouglass2141]

0:47 timestamp

[@Toxic3610]

Thank you 😂 this is the best rule

[@nathanharris4105]

Someone learned that the hard way.

[@RetroRobotRadio]

And you know that rules like that exists because someone tried.

[@mattwho81]

Seems this a hundred times but I still crack up at the thought of two guys having to go fetch a stepladder and muck about replacing lightbulbs in mid-battle...

[@deanmorrow4083]

One of the best shows ever put on tv. I've seen each episode at least two or three dozen times and it never gets old.

[@evergreenthunder]

I've heard it falls off after (during?) season 6 though

[@danielkellyuk]

@@evergreenthunder This is from season 6. It does drop off from season 7, although the last couple of seasons have been an improvement.

[@chatteyj]

@@evergreenthunder Yes season 7 and 8 are complete dog turd no way around it I'm afraid.

[@demon_hawkeye5269]

@@Waaagh40KRed being polluted by any politics is bad, unless it's making fun of them like it's always sunny in philledelphia (another masterpiece of a comedy) does

[@demon_hawkeye5269]

@@chatteyj they're a dip in quality, but are they really dog turd? I enjoyed them thoroughly, although not as much as the rest. I think at least season 7 was still a good time, with one of the most iconic scenes in the show, the Arnold Rimmer song which will never leave my head as long as I live

[@fromthegamethrone]

"including Welsh" 😂

[@Blyskawica1]

'Listen, butter pat head, my nostril hairs are vibrating faster than the springs on a Spaniard's honeymoon bed. I'm telling you there's something out there!'

[@denisdennehy4549]

One of the best scenes ever, with Kryten again with the funniest lines stealing the scene. Superb comedy writers behind the series.

[@christianlesurfmusic]

Step up to red alert. Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

[@Lord_Skeptic]

DJC Vidz forget red let's go all the way up to brown alert

[@johnh5646]

My favourite line of the TV show. 😂

[@DodderingOldMan]

'The red, blue and green alert signs are all flashing. What does it mean, Kryten?' 'Either we're under attack, or we're having a disco.'

[@syphon_9892]

@@DodderingOldMan i think that quote was from se 7 ep 2

[@traeyboy529]

@@syphon_9892 The Space Core Directive is kind of funny but the lightbulb one is a lot more constructive and hilarious.

[@Jicholson]

This is a great scene. It sums up Red Dwarf perfectly

[@robertmcelwaine7024]

Lol Rimmer is indeed a smeg head but god help me I still love him!

[@pex_the_unalivedrunk6785]

Rimmer Rimmer Rimmer...

[@FatNorthernBigot]

Kryten gets the best line of Red Dwarf. Ever.

[@johnforkan1492]

Changing the bulb 💡

[@dorialaura802]

Yep

[@Halinspark]

"Or we could just use the teleporter, sir."

[@shaunhunterit342]

@@Halinspark He is only guilty of being Arnold Rimmer. That is his crime. It is also his punishment.

[@user-iz8nm8om3g]

​@@shaunhunterit342That's another good one

[@HylianFox3]

"It does mean changing the bulb" classic

[@Jimplaysdrums]

67 people have longer yellow streaks than a stampede of diuretic camels

[@TechyMantis]

This series really delivered with comedy... I shall always be a dwarfer

[@DigitalNomadOnFIRE]

Possibly the most perfect 3 minutes of Red Dwarf in history...

[@gestaltdude]

From sixth season episode Legion, if memory serves. And while it is still a crack-up., I'm afraid my vote for best line in the show has to go to season 3's Timeslides where, upon learning they change time, Kryten states, "We could go back to Dallas, in November, 1963. Stand on the grassy knoll and shout, Duck!" The fact they actually did go to this time an place in a later season just makes it all the more delicious.

[@Willesden_Rab1_TV]

yeh the episode they time travel to dallas has no audience (or canned laughter) was still good but the punchlines didnt have that same vibe

[@MD-vu1kr]

One of my personal favourites from time slides was lister addressing the Nazis. Don't listen to him, he's a complete nutter and he's only got one testicle.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

​@@Willesden_Rab1_TVI agree with you on that.

[@Willesden_Rab1_TV]

@@DiscoTimelordASD bro my DVD version has no canned laughter = punchlines are silent ... but the version online has it with canned laughter SE.7 EP.1 TIKKA TO RIDE

[@Serenity_Dude_X]

"Broadcast on all known frequencies and in all known languages including Welsh" Brilliant!

[@mashpolson1]

"Step up to red alert, sir are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb" XD

[@Metalman200xdamnit]

Red Alert.

[@mashpolson1]

Just waited to see who spotted that mistake ;)

[@extracredit100]

Lmao. Legion with his incredible intelligence and us with..... Our red light bulb....

[@trolley7657]

"sir, are you absolutely sure, it does mean changing the bulb" is one of my favourite lines in the whole show

[@pureblood1980x]

"that's it! we're deader than tank tops!"

[@nitt3rz]

...All known languages, including Welsh!

[@commentfreely5443]

i thought that was what this was translated into. but it's a line.

[@synthyawylder3297]

Cymraeg!

[@welshie6313]

As a Welshman, I found this hilarious and watched it over and over :) Fantastic!

[@EditorOfSL]

@@welshie6313 I’m flattered it’s still counting as a known language three million years into the future.

[@-M0LE]

This was one of the best piece of writing in the whole series

[@carnalea2424]

Have you ever seen or remember the lateral thinking/mousse in Sweden 1971 script. Very clever and had me in hysterics.

[@sirjambon]

I'm not doing my own smeggin ironing 😁

[@Metal_Auditor]

Thank you! This American has never been able to understand what he says there.

[@RealityCheck6T9]

From the look of him I'm not sure why he'd need anything ironing

[@EditorOfSL]

@@Metal_Auditor 🤦‍♀️

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

I'm with Lister.😂

[@shugaroony]

The first time I heard that, I'm amazed my heart didn't explode with the strain of the laughter I was emitting. Genius. :D

[@jaysmith2858]

Blimey Salty, we meet yet again! It seems we both like the same sort of content. I hope all's well with you.

[@shugaroony]

@@jaysmith2858 Hi pal, yep we do keep running into each other on eclectic tastes, haha! I'm doing ok, and hope you are too! On Red Dwarf, I remember avoiding it when it was originally airing, but when I was playing a Star Wars MMO back in the day, a guildmate of mine who came from Tennessee picked up on my accent and we spoke about a lot of British tv that he watched, and he would always go on about Red Dwarf, so I decided to get into it, and so glad I did, it had some of the most hilarious episodes of sci-fi comedy of all! :D

[@nedmurry7283]

This single sketch has got some of the best quotes in Red Dwarf.

[@gordonbrittas4842]

People are quick to slag off the beep these days but if you make a list of the comedies through the decades there are plenty of gems to be had.

[@Willesden_Rab1_TV]

yes agreed mr brittas ... (but in colin's voice)

[@colinstewart1432]

This series is a Tour de Force of excellent writing. Lifelong fan.😻

[@li-limandragon9287]

I wish Cat got more of his own episodes, he’s technically the most interesting of the four. A cat humanoid whose religion is based around a slob.

[@bellicose4653]

What more is there to say about such an excellent clip? Except that at 2:54 you can see the boom mic in front of Rimmer's face.

[@legitbeans9078]

Good catch lol 😂

[@willyum3920]

👌nice one. I've seen this episode maybe 30 times. I used to watch Red Dwarf on loop on VHS as a kid... I'd never noticed that. Turns out I was a very unobservant child.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

Bravo👍

[@jkkyuen]

One of the most memorable moments in red dwarf history 👍

[@dorialaura802]

Yes!

[@antoine91330]

Space corp directive 34124 is my favorite joke in the entire show.

[@timelord1855]

Rimmer should really read the space core directives 😂

[@ProperDaveXD001]

I personally think he's quoting a different edition of the directives to Kryten, which wasn't compiled before Red Dwarf was lost. Lister figured this out some time ago, but stays quiet because he thinks it's funny.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

​@ProperDaveXD001 I like to believe that Lister got drunk one night & actually learned the new ones with Kryton's help😂

[@Willesden_Rab1_TV]

punchline after punchline quality + quantity what an amazing show

[@margaretthatcherisdead.5793]

Imagine an episode where they launch out Kryten as decoy fodder, only to realise the crew made a mistake and there was no hostile ship so they have to track down Kryten.

[@kylestubbs8867]

0:50 I've got to hear the story behind that rule.

[@DiscoTimelordASD]

There are so many unanswered questions about these directives😂

[@clarky212]

including Welsh hahahahahahha

[@mdolinski4926]

Is Welsh a funny language?

[@nigeh5326]

@@mdolinski4926 it's more than funny it's totally unintelligible to English speakers and hilarious to hear (sorry Cymru)

[@mdolinski4926]

@@nigeh5326 lol ok. I'm from across the pond. I'll have to Google a sample of It.

[@nigeh5326]

@@mdolinski4926 here's English comedian Russell Howard talking about Welsh lol kzbin.info/www/bejne/kIayZWuhnNZ5ibM

[@prg2812]

@@mdolinski4926 I don't know, I just don't understand it. I don't think anyone does.

[@NotTheStinkyCheese]

"We're deader than tank tops"

[@valeriebland2642]

I found this show accidentally on PBS at around midnight while flipping thru channels looking for something to watch. Finding one of the best shows I’ve ever seen and tuning in every week to see an episode as long as they carried the show. Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen an episode it’s still hilarious, that’s the mark of great writing and great actors making one of the best TV shows to ever be aired. Long may they reign!🎉❤😂

[@ghostpanic]

Please to GOD bring back Ace Rimmer in the next series! Just even for a few seconds! He was a hilarious and awesome character!

[@powderphysics]

"I believe in reincarnation" _is a hologram_ Fantastic comedy

[@seancairns9749]

one of the the best lines ever, it does mean changing the bulb. Haaaaa!! love it

[@placticine2514]

Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas!

[@dylan4972]

placticine Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

[@arnoldrimmer9161]

Placticine did you honestly mean to get that wrong on purpose?

[@GarethTheGreat325]

@@arnoldrimmer9161 I'll be honest with you mate, I don't think he remembers if he did or not.

[@MadScientist512]

It's a reference to when Rimmer became Ace Rimmer.

[@quietside3734]

That changing the bulb joke has stuck with me since childhood, when this first aired. Such a small joke, but delivered so perfectly by Robert Llewellyn. He sounds so flat and serious about it.

[@chrisclarke9637]

The only Red Dwarf clip I can think of that compares is when Rimmer says wars are won by the side with the shortest haircuts. Includes the following exchange: [Rimmer] "Would it harm you to have hair like mine?" [Cat] "I have got hair like yours. Just not on my head..."

[@Pobsta-de7hb]

The entire panels deader than A line flares with pockets in the knees! I dont even know if that line was in this episode but when cat said we are deader than tank tops, I heard him say that as well in my head lol

[@christiangibbs8534]

"Excuse me, gentlemen, while I have a panic attack under the scanner table."

[@geminibarbie87]

Rimmel always surrenders without fighting lol

[@geminibarbie87]

Rimmer*

[@DodderingOldMan]

I think my three favourite jokes in the entire show revolve around alert colours... 'The red, green and blue alert signs are all flashing, what does it mean, Kryten?' ... 'Either we're under attack or we're having a disco.' 'There's no such thing as brown alert!' ... 'You won't be saying that in a minute. And don't say I didn't alert you!' And of course this one.

[@sed8me69]

One of the all time best bits.... That high pace Smeggin Delivery.

[@acecommander1]

Each time i see this i still laugh! Best ever!

[@markjackson1970]

I don’t know why I did, but I fell in love with this show

[@johnforkan1492]

Four guys and a small set, but well written amazing casting.

[@SenorKristobbalVLog]

2:54 Production mic at the top right :)

[@MythicSuns]

SenorKristobbalVLog thankfully it blends in well with the rest of the tech on the ship

[@rmsbeautyxoox8419]

Lol how did you notice that dedicated red dwarf fans from the red dwarf posse 😂 You are a dwarfer *it would be funny if you are watching this for the fun of it and not that obsessed and I sound like a complete and total idiot*

[@dopiaza2006]

0:35 too

[@thewordlove4316]

plus, the mic man's shadow at 3:00 ... it's part of the show's charm!

[@scorchx3000]

I love how the mic moves away, it's like "Oh shit, I'm on the show. Better move quick away before I'm noticed."

[@lordcypher7922]

Love this scene and always makes me laugh such a great show

[@Micke12312]

Legion, what an amazing episode

[@SkepticalChris]

Even the Daleks liked this clip.

[@dorialaura802]

Lol

[@Lord_Skeptic]

One of them did

[@JonnyInfinite]

2:53 mike in shot

[@RealityCheck6T9]

2:53 I can't believe I never noticed the mic very clearly in shot

[@jungersrules]

One of the best scenes! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@backgroundmusik]

This and the Wilma Flintstone scene are peak Red Dwarf

[@francissaunders7402]

Simple things like leaving in the mic in shot makes this show for me.

[@georgemallard7116]

Found it! 2:52

[@anjetto1]

I aspire to this level of comedy

[@chatteyj]

Psirens in my view one of the very best Red Dwarf episodes, there is something I just like about it.

[@nicholaskehler9169]

I could have sworn Rimmer was allegedly reincarnated from Alexander the Great’s chief eunuch.

[@karenglenn6707]

I just love this show so much!!!!

[@CFC007]

Absolutely brilliant 🇬🇧👍

[@MrKaywyn]

I really love Series VI.

[@enkaan1676]

Deader than tank tops 😂😂😂.

[@mathewgrover6455]

Kryiton, go to red Alert. Sir it will mean I'll have to change the bulb. Classic comedy at its best 😅😅😅

[@BenBlackEquinoxEngelhard]

This series is one of the reasons I feel I lived in one of the greatest generations. Red Dwarf is simply one of the most uplifting, happy, funny and just plain feel good shows that will ever be. I'm an American though so it takes a second seat to Night Court.

[@notthefbi7932]

One the best scenes of this show 😁

[@zayfardplays7742]

Are you absolutely sure, it does mean changing the bulb

[@Emafera]

The best sitcom ever❤

[@bobdobalina2931]

I haven''t seen this for many years but I could have sworn Rimmer said "Step up to brown alert." Unless the brown alert command was in a different episode.

[@chemistryset1]

they pack soooo many gags into that 3 minutes, and the actors pull off the writing perfectly - it's too bad that Rob Grant didn't keep working with Doug Naylor past season 5; things went off a cliff after they stopped writing together.

[@ZeldaTheSwordsman]

This was a Series 6 bit.

[@chemistryset1]

@@ZeldaTheSwordsman - yikes you're right - S6 was the last time Rob Grant worked on the show ...

[@lesley7239]

You have lost your freakin mind

[@krawithan]

Love this show so much

[@DevilboyScooby]

1:01 "I want to go to blow alert", was that intentional or a Freudian slip? 😂

[@pschroeter1]

So that's why I still say "smeggin eggs."

[@Pauldjreadman]

I could watch this all night.

[@Last-Ninja-1]

Change the bulb. 🤣

[@sarcasmo57]

Quality show this was.

[@strangecolouredbird]

One of the only scenes derived from the books that was even better onscreen.

[@druss69harad61]

I'm not doing me own smeggin ironing

[@BH-98]

I'm supposed to be watching red dwarf but this one guy keeps kicking my ass

[@MD-vu1kr]

Now hear this because its only coming once!!!

[@ericstoverink6579]

I never knew what a "Geegook" was.

[@warsmithgalvinc4151]

Each time someone spoke they got something funny to say that's the quality of the writing

[@andrewdavidbarratt]

Perfect scene.

[@scottiegirl2041]

Did anyone else notice Rimmer say "blow" instead of "blue" alert at 1:01?

[@CalamityJames.]

+ScottieGirl20 Great, now I'll never NOT hear that!

[@ProfessorHeavyTF2]

Sorry, but.. I can't quiite hear it that way.

[@EmmaForman28]

I think it's just the accent. But then again, I'm American, so what do I know about Brit accents!

[@rmsbeautyxoox8419]

ScottieGirl20 lol there is allot of undeleted Smeg ups in this scene aren't there if you look close 😂

[@rmsbeautyxoox8419]

Emma Forman I don't know but I'm glad I'm British 😂 because of red dwarf

[@andrewcliffe4753]

Still awesome

[@simonjones4055]

Translate on all languages including Welsh Haha even funnier considering he has a Welshman right beside him playing Kryton

[@thewordlove4316]

at 2:28 , Kryten takes umbrage at Rimmer saying "including Welsh"! mon, do I love this show ...

[@drewlovelyhell4892]

In a former life, I was William The Great... 's chief eunuch.

[@sirierieott5882]

Genius bliss...

[@abloogywoogywoo]

Yellow Alert would have been more appropriate in Rimmer's case.