Bill Burr - Best Moments In Talk Shows

[@gauravshah4857]

He is such an honest person. He thinks and speaks his mind, he may not know everything, but he is honest.

[@happzy]

While I like Burr this argument you brought up is something I often hear about Trump from his supporters.

[@nativeamerican3189]

happzy Fuck it. Burr would make a better president anyway.

[@rishiparashar3533]

" He may not know everything ", well but he is WAY smarter than he wants you to think he is. That's the genius.

[@nativeamerican3189]

Rishi Parashar And Trump thinks he’s smarter when in actuality he’s just a dipshit.

[@rishiparashar3533]

@@nativeamerican3189 I am not an American. Plus I have no inclination towards politics, so I have no clue as to how Trump is. But thanks for you input.

[@phonychild6345]

Bill is the voice in our heads we cant explain or say out loud

[@kathymyers7279]

Yes. You CAN say these things out loud.

[@fauzanazhima]

​@@kathymyers7279 You can but you'll get slapped nowadays...

[@negativeindustrial]

I always say those things out loud.

[@unclej7842]

@@negativeindustrial And that's why we're in the nut house. Ha ha.

[@Intruder-xw6ye]

Speak for yourself

[@thedawgg7207]

I like how he sinks into every chair he sits in

[@michaelmcqueeferton6911]

some dude this is such an accurate observation.

[@faustus5481]

I always enjoy Bill Burr, but I hate the way the insecure talk show hosts always need to sit a foot higher than their guests, who have to literally look up to them. lol

[@ronniebillhicks]

@@faustus5481 Bill Burr is 5' 10", and Conan is 6' 4",..........soooo

[@faustus5481]

@@ronniebillhicks - Soooo.....did you watch the whole vid? You may as well face it, only cretins like you can watch half a dozen talk show hosts sitting a foot higher than their guests and not have a fucking clue.

[@joesixpack8166]

@@ronniebillhicks He's right. Where do you think Andy Kaufman got the idea for the skit in the following link? kzbin.info/www/bejne/e5_JZK2vr85-h68

[@califlowar886]

"It is very easy to piss off just one side, it is art to try to get everybody" - Bill Burr

[@murderc27]

Those clauses should be separated by a period or semicolon, not a comma.

[@happyscientist7939]

@@murderc27 grammar nazi

[@strategygaming5830]

@@murderc27 if it has but before it is then it would be correct

[@sircolt8184]

I probably get what he tried to say with that. But I don't get how that can be true. How hard can it be to just straight up insult everybody. People get offended. Shouldn't be too hard to make a lot of enemies very fast. Especially on the net.

[@thechannelofall398]

"The art is pissing off both sides" and "Trump is such a dope that he's actually gonna make me vote for a woman" got me dead

[@Comedy-ox1xq]

I think that's my favorite clip. Classic Bill Burr

[@AndrewYangPresident]

@mdizzle lol what

[@AfroGaz71]

@mdizzle Are you ok?

[@jamesderothschild1572]

TRUMP 2020

[@Tamarind93]

@@DutchDouchebag I get your point but your whole profile name is just shitting on donald trump so you're no different to that 'mdizzle' guy.

[@user-en7dx1qp3k]

The reason Conan is the only person good at interviewing him is cause all of the other interviewers ask him a bunch of stupid questions and slow down his jokes where Conan is over here egging him on.

[@essafr3823]

111 111 seth meyers as well but only because his hearts in the right place

[@jasoneaton4520]

111 111 Kimmel’s good too, he gets a gigantic kick out of Bill, he just laughs uncontrollably.

[@TigerBears11]

Jason Eaton - Kimmel laughs uncontrollably at just about anything remotely funny.

[@jasoneaton4520]

@@TigerBears11 there's a subtle difference

[@phillipborja]

No one has ever said a truer sentence.

[@TickleFingers]

The only thing funnier than listening to Bill Burr is watching Bill Burr make Conan laugh.

[@dapperduncle1972]

Tickle Fingers I’ll be your first comment

[@kimghanson]

I am honestly proud to say I have no idea which one is Conan.

[@zem69666]

@@kimghanson conan is the feminine,red head, irish talk show host who is 6"4 and The Greatest talk show host of all time

[@kimghanson]

@@zem69666 Nope, Johnny Carson was the best. No one else comes close. I've seen the rest but they are so bad I never even try to remember their names.

[@dainternetexorcist6780]

@@kimghanson c'mon Conan is the last best late night show host look him up.

[@MrKit19832009]

Listening to "Conan O'Brien needs a friend" has made me realise that Conan is one of the most naturally funny people on the planet, which makes it all the more impressive the room he gives to his guests. He's happy to sit back and allow them to do their thing. Genius.

[@tradewins]

Conan O'Brien is one of the most naturally irritating, unfunny, phony people on the planet. He's in love with the sound of his own voice and constantly interrupts his guests, breaking in to their train of thought. Awful!

[@FirstnameLastname-jz1ux]

Yeah he's the best and that podcast is great.

[@FirstnameLastname-jz1ux]

@@tradewins who else read that in Trump's voice? If you're going to mimic someone's writing style, pick someone better at writing.

[@shizamza]

He’s definitely a legend of comedy, his timing and wit are insane. His restraint is definitely what makes him one of the greats

[@YoJaYmaNz]

@@tradewins Yeah whatever man, his name has 10x the weight of yours any day of the week, and that's not cuz he's rich, it because people actually like him unlike you, I can only imagine with that negative ass mindset your a bore and chore to be around.

[@silokhawk]

"What do you think about people saying Trump is bad for children?" "Ah we all know little kids always tuning into those political debates."

[@mscprod240]

I didn't expect to see you in this comment section

[@pseudo.5106]

SilokHawk same

[@somerandomhuman9709]

@@mscprod240 why?

[@shaanalam3872]

I mean I remember being ten watching the Trump-Clinton debates.

[@hardcorehunter7162]

​@@shaanalam3872 What were your hard opinions as a 10 year old on export tariffs during the debate? Do you think we should have continued the status quo or tired for financially better deals? And now that you've got those 3 years of experience and hindsight would you change how you thought back then, knowing what you know now. That or you were 10 and didn't really have a grasp of the significance of what was being discussed, and just side with whatever your parents party was.

[@rapturestudios3179]

Man you know Bill is a comedic genius when you have to pause the video to sip your drink out of fear of spilling it whilst crying of laughter. Had me in tears the entire time. So funny. Him and Conan need to start their own show where they just talk about what's happening in the world, utterly brilliant

[@amackertv]

Yes, I could see snarfing my drink out of my nose at his punchlines. There are hardly punch lines… They’re just his conversation.

[@pinenut252]

​@@amackertvQ5e

[@thog5962]

Bill was gonna say “gay gun” at 0:23 but stopped himself for the show lol

[@wosborne5535]

Or "queer" gun he was gonna say, like in "I am sorry you feel that way".

[@wosborne5535]

@@marksilva311 Haha awesome Mark :D

[@RosscoFAM]

Good catch

[@zfern3881]

Thought he was gonna say little dick. He says that in the special

[@skriddlehiddles]

Looked like his mouth was going to form an f or d word tbh

[@starspangled2206]

Bill is at his best when he stays committed to the joke, No matter what.

[@johnstrawb3521]

@star spangled Great line!

[@benjaminjordan7347]

I disagree. Sir Billium is the Best. No matter what.

[@LuciDreamer91]

That's how jokes work

[@facepalmdaily4404]

"I'm a first responder." "Dude, I called you. I saw the fire." Damn I love Bill Burr. LMAO

[@Fari7aMo]

666 likes ° °

[@Fari7aMo]

No one should like this comment anymore

[@facepalmdaily4404]

@@Fari7aMo Guaranteed someone is going to do it now. LOL Someone gotta screw it up for everyone.

[@Fari7aMo]

@@facepalmdaily4404 i hope not tho 🤞

[@chieftonga]

I wish it worked like Reddit, where down voting/thumbs down subtracts the amount of likes. That way we could keep 666 or 420.

[@captainali6448]

I love the fact that Conans laughs are legitimate laughs. Love their interviews. “Someone speaks “ Fallon- dies laughing

[@tradewins]

I hate the fact that Conan's laughs are so phony.

[@mike5978]

@@tradewins Conan can share a genuine laugh, Fallon just wants his to be heard.

[@tradewins]

@@mike5978 It's true that nobody can outdo Fallon when it comes to phony, unctuous laughing. But Conan had his share of phony laughing too.

[@philipf2705]

Rarely does Conan have a phony laugh. Fallon is constant and it’s annoying and that’s why I have never watched his show. He’s a terrible interviewer as well.

[@deanpapadopoulos3314]

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍…great point. I love Fallon but he’s contrived.

[@shotaomori6246]

Bill Burr is that person I want to always ask for a second opinion.

[@CervantesMolina-j2w]

he is very well articulated. thats what i love about him.. he just says the truth sarcastically

[@Mintoaster]

Conan trying to hold back his laughter when Bill was taking about the navy at the end fucking sent me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@johnnym8301]

My goodness you can just feel the air come out of the room when he says it’s enjoyable to be here when Hillary loses😂

[@oelaty9116]

Video Starts Bill: *sO yoU WaNna StArT wITH a 22 CaLiBrE*

[@starwarfan8342]

So anyway I started blasting

[@frequentsee3815]

Why do all kids type like that

[@oelaty9116]

Matthew Lynch it’s just a meme template, something anyone below the age of 25 will know about

[@frequentsee3815]

@@oelaty9116 yeah I know but it's not funny. Why do you like these things? It's cheap humor. Same thing with the loud = funny "meme templates" They're not funny. It's cheap and lazy comedy made for people with moth brains. Aren't you guys supposed to be smarter than us? Can't you come up with something better?

[@oelaty9116]

Matthew Lynch it’s not that deep mate lol, 68 people on my comment alone would disagree with you and it’s not even that you’re wrong or right it’s just subjectivity, that’s how humans work

[@thecurator9888]

Bro im in the navy and when he was talking about the guy that points i was dieing lol. There called shooters. Bill Burr is the shit we need more people like him lol

[@Omegatonboom]

It's so annoying when civilians get offended FOR service members. It's like shhhhhhh

[@RexxCollects]

I've been in 15yrs and he is spot on! We make sacrifices, but not all of us are hero's. FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!

[@BlackjackTheLad]

Aren't shooters in the Navy either pilots or backseaters in planes themselves though?

[@bigbore4498]

djnc jndmk But shooters have a very important and dangerous job. But the point is valid. However, everyone from the linen service to cooks, to ships captain plays an important role. And none can do their job without the others.

[@Aaronnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn]

@@bigbore4498 dude you are 100% right. Also I was one of those guys. My rate was AD. I didn't just point the plane to the battlefield. I also fixed that planes engine. It was a tough job that I loved doing. While I understand a joke is a joke, I also realize most people don't understand military service. If more people really knew what was going on inside the military vets would be rock stars.

[@saadsalman1650]

"Dude I called you. I am the one who saw the fire" 🤣🤣🤣 Holyshitt man

[@NinjaTowTow]

“Well what are you eating cereal for?” Conan is focusing on all the right things lol.

[@Pantano63]

Like in that other interview where Bill mentions that Hillary Clinton goes to those Eyes Wide Shut-style Bilderberg meetings under a mountain and Conan goes like "What do you mean under a mountain?" Yeah, that's the important part... ffs.

[@ruburtoe1]

Selectively intelligent

[@variator7466]

@@Pantano63 But... What was the under a mountain stuff about?

[@Pantano63]

@@variator7466 Apparently in the Bilderberg Group meetings they do a gathering by the mountains in Switzerland.

[@bradmodd7856]

What a funny thing to say....sure ain't no comeback for Bill after that...Conan the destroyer strikes again

[@GhostRider-hp3te]

I don’t know how much I have to watch bill burr it’s not enough he hits every nail in the head again and again.

[@ericmassey1055]

Seth Meyers: this helicopter isn’t big enough to fit your whole family Bill Burr: lol true

[@WingsaberE3]

He just didn’t want to say only the fastest in his family get to come with

[@myndlink]

It'll fit him and his daughter. Lol

[@agh9224]

myndlink this comment didn’t age well

[@jebowar6679]

myndlink holy predictions

[@agh9224]

Miss reign Kobe

[@katarinajargasova7637]

the only person who knows how to behave around Bill is Conan, they re so good together

[@jasoneaton4520]

Katarína Jargašová kimmels great too

[@skarf1428]

Jason Eaton Kimmel is a unfunny sjw drone. Can’t stand that guy.

[@jasoneaton4520]

Skarf no he’s pretty cool. Way less sjw than Conan or Colbert....

[@muckmire3716]

I think because Conan understands him better than anyone else because he's Irish

[@MNL54321]

I’ve seen so many clips of them together now and the chemistry is palpable. Most times it’s the host who’s supposed to be the “comedian” between them and the guest, so when the roles are reversed and they have a funnier comedian on than them the dynamic is very different. Most guys like Kimmel and Fallon still try and carry the comedy/through lines which doesn’t work while Conan just kinda lets Bill spout his insane funny shit and just riffs off that. So good

[@WittyBitty]

"up and out was the only way to do it." I have died.

[@jerico80]

I can bring you back to life if it pleases you.

[@skyler11itodi12]

You look beautiful

[@RoomerJ]

So intelligent, good morals, honest and no filter. Perfect combination

[@DavidMartinez-jt7jk]

I love bill Burr. I never get tired of watching the same videos over and over again, because he is too damn funny and honest.

[@duncanwcraig9668]

Ho ho I’ve watched his stand up shows numerous times.

[@CheezeHead-ps9xf]

Saw Bill Burr live and he's definitely the funniest comedian I've seen. Legit laughed out loud the entire time.

[@buttsauce123]

Him and louis ck have me laughing beginning to end every single time

[@legofan370]

When he said that the banks were Ponzi schemes, I immediately thought of Ron Swanson: "Don't trust big banks or small banks, banks are Ponzi schemes run by morons."

[@sortofanoakyafterbirth3661]

End the Fed 👍

[@scottmurdock01z]

Think "wells Fargo". However, they aren't weren't run by "morons", they're run by gangsters.

[@mirrortoyourweakness9769]

Here's the thing, saying morons is giving them an out. They are fairly intelligent but more importantly, they are pathological, psychopaths. They could give Two Shits about you. They enjoy your torment. Think that times ten.

[@gorginhanson]

still better than keeping it under your mattress. if the banks fail your money is worthless regardless

[@D0G5Coolpat11]

i immediately thought of small hats but i guess a fictional character is also funny

[@terecevladimir5250]

Bill Burr is so real and naturally nonstop funny. You gotta love the guy.

[@edptoblo]

B. B. Funniest guy ever!!!!

[@aashiv93]

I just love the first responder joke. Never gets old. Heck, none of Bill Burr jokes ever get old. "Dude, I called you first. I saw the fire." 😂😂😂😂

[@danielbrown1724]

I could watch Billy Burr compilations all day, even though I’ve seen all the clips hundreds of times. I fall asleep to his rants almost every night as well.

[@nextari]

LA "You can't get out of this city even when it works". Lol!

[@sipioc]

I want an R rated version of the Grinch starring Bill Burr.

[@jacobnelson4293]

sipioc Bill burr resembles Ron Howard so technically he was in there lol

[@psychedashell]

Amazing how well some R rated clips do.

[@deanschulz3832]

Yes! 😂

[@TheStuport]

Bill would be just fine on a Deserted Island...he makes himself laugh and seems quite comfortable in his own skin.

[@pawel5218]

Yeah but watch after 3 months of isolation you will see yourself smearing fecal matter all over your face and doing strange chants. Trust me ive seen it happen. -Pawel G

[@porch8370]

can i be in ur skin

[@pawel5218]

@Sayed Hasan humans are social animals being isolated fucks with the brain allot

[@khrashingphantom9632]

The Stuport Yeah until sun up and he burns alive! He's a bald redhead, he would burn to a crisp on a desert island. But he does seem comfortable with himself though. I got what you meant.

[@MYRIAMLATEUR]

Bill is the greatest! Not only he is crazy funny but he always is damn right!

[@pweter351]

I agree with the hero thing ... My grand father was an air force mechanic in ww2 he got bombed and sniped at but never picked up his medals or applied for a pension because he didn't think he was special. He always said the pilots and the infantry did it tough.

[@thejayreal4931]

Bill Burr is so effortlessly comedically refined & refreshing ‼️‼️‼️ look at how he without any effort had all of these different talk show hosts and comedians themselves in a tare LOL

[@PaulLangmead]

I've come to the conclusion that Bill Burr is the funniest man alive.

[@bh4261]

Its between him and Dave Chappelle..I think no one can top them

[@TripleG_408]

There are three living legend KINGS in stand up comedy....Three Dave Chapelle Bill Burr Louis CK (yea yea I know)

[@adamdebenham6229]

I think Norm McDonald is very funny as well

[@lucianog7724]

Burr is the GOAT and has been for a while. Hes been at the top of his geme for 10 yrs now, and he doesn't run out of funny shit, cause he's real when he tells his joke, and he's so relatable, he is not trying to be funny, he just IS funny. He makes any interview become hilarious. He's a lunatic, and he's the first one to point it out. He just comes up with funny shit. Jim jefferies is also cool and wasn't mentioned.

[@jasoneaton4520]

Gabe Gomez no shame in loving Louis, he did nothing wrong he asked for consent. He’s the funniest man of all time, Burr is right behind.

[@lisaleone2296]

Bill is one of the funniest people on the planet and it's just how he is! I don't think he even needs to try. Every one of his comedy shows has me falling off my chair laughing. I especially love when he fantasizes about shoving his wife's head into a pumpkin and he does her imagined inner monologue "It's so orange!".

[@maureenlaneski2802]

The way he said "orange."

[@REDMARKART]

Jimmy Fallon yelling "No, its the holiday season!" helps bring clarity as to why Jaquin Pheonix behaved the way he did in that Fallon in interview.

[@vond5829]

Okay

[@Boutthattime2024]

Yea Fallon… not Kimmel but Fallon …. Not Kimmel but Fallon… got it

[@yellowbones]

Watching this, along with other comedians on talk shows videos, has honestly convinced me how much Conan and Craig are really good talk show hosts/comedians

[@DrAwesome2570]

if everyone in the world was as sensible as bill burr the world be a much better place

[@illianias]

Also a lot funnier.

[@TimelesslyModern]

People: I'm offended. Bill Burr *leans back on chair*: I'm about to end this man's whole career

[@jackmedlock5888]

Bill Burr and Dave Chappelle are on fire right now. 😂

[@davidbright9370]

Jack Medlock they are both in career best form. Both are the kings in my opinion. Dave is the 🐐 of modern comedy, but Bill is a legend in his own right. Paper Tiger has me in tears 😂😂😂

[@CervantesMolina-j2w]

you bet

[@johnsumner6185]

Most underrated comic of our time, I think Jonny Carson would have loved him!

[@burymeinkief]

That family abandoning joke was highly hilarious I loved it 😂😂.

[@dravenvise3149]

The way talk show hosts laugh when you bring up illuminati is like am I laughing causually, am I laughing too causally😂😂

[@alexanderjackson9302]

Always glad to see bill on any show

[@contessa.adella]

15:27 A wot Bill? Conniption?…had to look that one up! Means a ‘fit of rage’ or angry outburst. That’s a new one for my lexicon👍

[@onnyt60]

"Trump is such a dope he's actually gonna make me vote for a woman" LoL

[@CervantesMolina-j2w]

hahahhaha lol

[@andrewblatherwick8758]

As a Brit I love Bill Burr. The truth always provides the best humour. He has the knack of delivery down to a fine art.

[@frankymacf]

“Dude...I called you” 😂😂😂

[@DamnUsernameTakenFU]

I’ve seen these clips multiple times--as long as it’s a different thumbnail I’ll still click and watch if Billy and Conan are in it. Best duo.

[@chloemarie7069]

How the hell does jimmy Fallon have his own show still

[@joelunchbucket0]

he has interesting activities on his show, i guess

[@mandiisingh7475]

Got good writers

[@ervingjohnson409]

Right ! he’s not even funny all he got is the lil activities he does.

[@adeebiqbal3992]

As long as Kimmel has a show, Fallon deserve one.

[@FormedUnique]

@@adeebiqbal3992 Kimmel is leagues better

[@rob_zomb]

Gonna go off on a limb and say he’s one of the best comedians of all time.

[@MrDballmoney]

"There's something hilarious about people abandoning their family." Well Bill, I didn't think it was funny until you brought it up :D

[@jodyayers7234]

Bill Burr is an absolute legend. He may have evolved into the greatest comedian of all time

[@ajr1276]

Is it bad that I can relate so much to this dude’s brain ?

[@skylarholland9661]

AJ R not bad at all try listening To his pod cast it’s great

[@dym2336]

AJ R He’s just genuine and doesn’t care if he offends some losers. A lot of people can relate to someone who’s actually real

[@elireloaded]

No.

[@jasoneaton4520]

AJ R Gemini ?

[@ajr1276]

Jason Eaton Cancer

[@rebkahibasdeys]

"The art is pissing off both sides" You could make a religion outta that

[@TileGuyJesse]

I love how he can get any talk show host to laugh their butt off. That's an art.

[@sarthak_shah]

Literally skipped the Fallon part, so it wouldn't ruin my experience.

[@Mojoe1749]

Hey look jimmy fallon doesn't need to force laugh around bill

[@Omegatonboom]

I think he kinda still did. But I can never tell. 🙄

[@bh4261]

@@Omegatonboom the only way you can't laugh at Bill's jokes is if you're dead.

[@magicmintak]

@@Omegatonboom even jimmy himself cant tell anymore, i think he forgot how to laugh genuinely at this point

[@fangofsilver5537]

Don´t know if you were being ironic but it kinda felt like he did. Just as he always does. Somebody should tell him to wind it down a bunch!;)

[@WillJM81280]

He does still. He’ll laugh at a moderate setup as hard as the punchline.

[@milksteak9213]

He's such a good comic im glad I got to grow up listening to him

[@jaydenjohner6901]

Ok but fr tho that helicopter escape plan made some real sense

[@moavic5087]

Jayden Johner just has a lot of holes that need fixing 🤣

[@IamtheDesperado]

Also in post apocalyptic situations your value would be high. No one wants to be the guy that kills the chopper pilot

[@kpd3308]

Thank goodness that in a world gone mad, we have Bill Burr.

[@aymane977]

I can't believe that this guy comes up with HILARIOUS stuff on the spot

[@richardthompson5363]

Bill Burr’s justifiable rage at everything is awesome but holy shit his love for his daughter is amazing

[@TheDbadke]

Yes the look of complete joy on his face after the birth of his daughter was heart warming

[@niktuli]

Bill Burr aka real-life Red Forman

[@AgentMacklinFBI]

Watching him with Elijah Wood is like watching a step-father trying to bond with his stepson

[@kevinforever6898]

Watching Conan and Bill interact is like watching two stars colliding.

[@knightfury7120]

Dude, I love this guy

[@MrJimmymah]

Love watching Conan laugh when Bill is on his show. 😂

[@conk8636]

Conon and Billy sit downs nowadays would be gold… Not too late for ya Ginger bread man!!

[@manikmaharjan9258]

He seems like a calm and reasonable person to me.

[@louiselaliberte9816]

The silence when he said "When Hillary loses." was deafening. 😂😂😂 I remember people thinking you were insane if you said that Orange Julius Caesar was gonna be America's next president in 2016.

[@anasqureshi2479]

This guy is so underrated !!

[@CSDJK]

Love Bill. He tells it like it is and makes everyone laugh. That's true comedy! LOLOLOLOL

[@andrewford3093]

Anyone see him in the Mandalorian?

[@gabrielreed1096]

Lol I thought that was him, but I was like "Nahh. There's no way"😂

[@hippyhair4402]

Straight from space Boston

[@Ragnarok6664]

Andrew Ford bald & red yes

[@sirclownsalot5800]

He wasn’t a Storm Trooper wiseass!!!!!

[@St.CrimsonTweets]

i could tell it was him by the way the character walked.

[@jonathanstatham88]

Wow good point!!!! Nice of course from Bill Burr!!!💯💯💯

[@markmalinowski4196]

The more I listen to bill burr, the more I think he’s necessary for the human race to progress 👏

[@ScottAdair]

Burr takes no prisoners. Love it

[@chrisdropulich5902]

Burr is the man, he's hilarious.

[@fearandloathing75]

Still watching your older vlogs its a great release from the hum drums.

[@nextari]

06:30 Hilarious, he's just slaying Jimmy on the childish fist bump.

[@English2Elvish]

9:11 LOLs. Thanks for the shout out :P

[@ddbtube2138]

Some people want to meet Stallone, I just want to have a beer with Burr

[@The.new.Creator]

"heeeyyyy he's climbing on some telephone...." HAHAHA that was a good one when not knowing how to tell other people, kids, to stop doing bad stuff!

[@MissVioletSage]

That ancestry bit killed me lmao

[@Judith-wq2jp]

It's absolutely on point. And half the people bragging about having it done are the same ones that were screaming about the government wanting to "chip" everyone a few years back.

[@Yourunkbob]

I love how bill is so funny he makes conan forget what to do with his hands.

[@mds4733]

I loved that section with Conan where he was talking about growing up in the 70's. As kids we grew up in the 60's and my mom had to take us to Kroger to shop for groceries. Before we left the car she would say she won't stand for any acting up. So we get into Kroger and sure enough, I start acting up. Mom says, Michael, I'm going to count to 3 as she is bending over to remove her Ked's sneaker. Then she says 1, and kablamo, she hits me upside the head with her shoe. My sister says, that's not fair, you only counted to 1.....so Bam, she gets walloped too.

[@RogueReplicant]

That was funny af! Nowadays the other snowflake shoppers would snitch on her and she would be arrested for attempted murder, wtf 😑

[@mds4733]

@@RogueReplicant Yeah, times have changed a lot. My mom never hesitated to discipline us in public back then, and most other mothers were the same. And thinking about it now, none of us kids ever ended up in jail or really got into any serious trouble. We grew up listening to mom and truth be told, be were more scared of her than the police.

[@mds4733]

@@RogueReplicant and he was so on point about dads. When I was 10, my sister was 9 and my brother was 6. I guess my mom got tired of hitting us with her shoe, so she changed up her plan. One day she decided to just let us act up without any conflict. But when we got in the car to go home she was silent until we were about half way home. Then she said, just wait till your father gets home, I'm going to tell him everything you 3 did and he will be fuming mad. I didn't realize until years later that dad simply wanted to get home from work, take his 2 vallium, eat potato chips and drink a couple beers. But we were scared to death. So dad gets home and tries to get into his routine, but mom is telling him how terrible we were and that he had to do something about it. So he gets up and yells, you kids, get in the backroom and once I cool off, I am going to let you hear the rules.....so we all go back there. We wait, wait, wait. Finally he comes in and sits us all down and says, look guys, don't give me any trouble with your mom. I love you all and I wasn't there. So let's just chat for a couple minutes and then I want you to go out one at a time in about 2 minute intervals bellowing like you just got your butt tore up..okay???

[@RogueReplicant]

@@mds4733 I hear ya, my parents used to smack us real good, too, especially if we fought among ourselves (3 siblings). We grew up in the 70's in the San Fernando Valley CA, practically feral kids running wild, lol. I'm lucky to have survived into adulthood, I'm not sure how, tho 😅

[@davidsutton1576]

I love Bill Burr, he and I are on the same page. He's so funny to me. I am glad people still aren't scared to just say it real.

[@yoseige]

Honestly he looks amazing for 50.

[@conor1666]

Dustin what ARE YA GAY?

[@muckmire3716]

He married a Black woman and she taught him the secrets of aging and lotion

[@jolonghthong]

ohh, I love him so much

[@sym3293]

Conan+bill=hilarious

[@wormemc]

This is a great reminder as to why I love this comedian.

[@RavenLunatic33]

God, I love Bill Burr. 😂

[@catweasle5737]

We need more people like Bill.

[@AmyTinoco]

The rock-throwing at his car reminds me of when my neighbor's kids were throwing large rocks at my 2 pound Teacup Yorkie. I told them if they hurt her I would call the police. three minutes later their dad was at my door threatening me!! This was 9 years ago. I heard his oldest is in prison for trying to kill someone. He could have corrected the problem when they were 9 years old

[@aname5938]

It is only a teacup yorkie. Who cares? Like Mike Royko said, the only thing small dogs are good for is feeding large dogs.

[@NinjaOnANinja]

I woulda stood my ground or stood your ground for you on that one. Discipline is a requirement of military for a reason. Society may not be as instant as far as life and death, but let the little things go long enough in society, it becomes just as bad as a war torn nation. Look at America right now. So many fucked up lives and destroyed kids. You have no choice but to play this evil game or you are consumed by it. Discipline the fuckers. Call the cops. Make a big stink out of it. Gotta crack eggs to make an omelette.

[@CaliforniaCarpenter7]

Amy, I have a seven pound Pomeranian that is the nicest old dog there is. He is twelve years old and has severe arthritis but still manages to get around. The neighbor watches her grandchildren for their mom and there is a five year old boy that raises hell. I saw him chase down and kick my dog literally for no reason and I almost went to prison myself for damn near murdering the little devil. His mom does not believe in disciplining her children and the result is a boy that will no doubt end up in jail as well. I didn't touch him but I really wanted to. I'm a pretty big guy at 6' 3" ~210 and I think the boy might think twice before abusing helpless animals again. I asked if he'd like me to kick *him* in the ribs to get a taste for how it feels. By the time Grandma made it out he had already apologized to the dog and she got belligerent with me, she defended the boy with "kids will be kids" and has glared at me in passing ever since. In times past this type of shit didn't happen, what a sick damn world we have created.

[@mlampert7676]

I agree. You either discipline them now or the cops do it later

[@MegaHighway2hell]

Wow...

[@76dhb76]

Luv Burr. Don Rickles of our time. Bash everyone and every political faction. No prisoners