Be Frugal! Not Cheap!

There is a subtle difference to being cheap and frugal. We all have our limits! I tell you mine.
Frugal Queen in France
We are a British couple living in Brittany on a budget.
Frugal recipes, days out, home renovations and day to day making do in France.
We’ll give you hints, tips, advice and an insight into our life in France.
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[@Litha-yz7xq]

You are correct Jane, that is Stingy with a capital S. Not a good partner. When i was a child we went to visit my Dad's widowed Aunt every summer for a week. When we arrived we immediately went to the grocery store and my Dad bought a huge haul of groceries to feed us all for the week, and staples for her for a month. He knew she was on a limited income and wanted to contribute while we all visited. That is how you visit an elderly relative.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thanks, the friend who i mentioned could afford to buy food for his girlfriend when she came to visit. He's super frugal with food for himself and will happily eat up everything he's offered by others.

[@Litha-yz7xq]

@FrugalQueeninFrance she could do better than him.

[@brendabeelee]

That’s very nice

[@elizaC3024]

I have a sister and brother in law that stopped in regularly when we would spend a weekend at our cabin. For us it was always a working DIY weekend, the cabin got done on a budget over the course of 8 years. When family stopped by, it wasn't to offer to help it was to eat , freeload and leave with leftovers and even ask to spend the night, yet their cabin was 20 minutes away, but they didn't want to open it up, turn on heat, water etc, only to have to drain all of the lines before leaving. We could do that.😮 Finally we relocated to the cabin, and then said we'll be remodeling the guest room over the next year, you can visit, just no spending the night until its done. After arguing about its need to be done, and our time frame, they stormed out. 5years later no more visits. Yet if we say that we don't want to go out to eat when family is in town, but invite them over for dessert and coffee, tea ,they think we are cheap. $40-50 for a dinner out, and that's on the low end, is silly. I can eat for 1-2 weeks really good meal for that price at home. Oh and why am I the only one of 6 kids not on cholesterol meds, or thyroid meds, or statins, or asthma 17:40 meds. I do believe that eating so much processed food causes these issues.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Good for you

[@connietroxell1575]

In my life, I choose to be both frugal and generous within my means.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

So do we

[@cindiblazer8621]

@@connietroxell1575 I'm with you on that.

[@jankarel6454]

I had a relative who was well known for being frugal. But one year, when my parents had a milestone anniversary, he took the whole family out to eat at a nice place. That really stuck with me. He wanted to do a kind thing for the family, and he did it. I had other relatives who were cheap. The kind that would take the shirt off your back, rather than give you theirs. That one dinner has remained in my mind now for decades, and taught me a lot about the difference between being frugal (most of the time) and just being cheap.

[@rose-g3l]

Very good video with examples of different ways to be frugal!!! We all know this type of people. To avoid being uncomfortable in these cases, I apply a very French rule: welcome and give with the same degree of generosity as this person. For example, for the cheap ones who don’t offer anything in their home, I don’t make an invitation but we see each other occasionally a walk only. For people who have a selfish frugality, I do the same thing because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable by being more generous. We love a simple and comfortable life that meets our needs, without waste and without egoism either.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Good points. Thanks for sharing your perspective.

[@soniamoss734]

After prioritising wholesome food, good hygiene and a warm house, I am happy to wear the moniker of "Discount Queen". 😂

[@tikacalifornia7876]

I remember an event from my childhood similar to this. For various and sundry reasons, I lived with my Grandmother, who survived, but never recovered from the Depression. We lived in the big family house and heated with wood and stayed downstairs in a couple of rooms for the winter months to conserve fuel. Nevertheless the expanded family would gather there for holidays and family pot lucks. I did not realize it at the time that one cousin, call her Maria, was not frugal, she was cheap. I had no concept of it at the time, but I figured out this from the memory that I do have. It was Easter and one of the cousins brought this amazing locally smoked ham and "Maria" asked for the ham bone from the left overs. My very sharp Grandmother asked her point blank what she would do with such a large ham bone. She replied "Cassoulet, of course." (Did I mention that we are French Canadian?) Grandmother, the Matriarch of the family got everyone's attention immediately. She said, "Marvelous, Maria, shall we all assemble at your house this Wednesday for Cassoulet? I'll bake bread." She stammered her way out of this, and the cousin who had brought the ham asked Grandmother to make something with the ham bone, since he was not much of a cook. I remember that at least 3 of our closely related families came back the following Saturday for lunch and it was not until I was much older that I realized just what had happened. Not much ever got past Grandmother.

[@lucy14981]

I agree. Be as generous as you can with friends and family without busting your budget.

[@simonefeaster5131]

Love this, Jane. I think there many different ways to be frugal…I love to cook from scratch and I can/put up as much food as I am able from our small garden. I also forage for berries etc. My parents think I’m nuts…my mom saw me drying out clean eggshells to put in next year’s garden and sent me a crying emoji as it was “so much work for me”. I felt just the opposite, I was happy with what I’m doing. But I acknowledge that some of my loved ones think I’ve gone too far. I love them but they aren’t the stewards of my money. To each their own! -all the best from the Pacific Northwest

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@simonefeaster5131 well said

[@connietroxell1575]

I love “they aren’t the stewards of my money”!

[@bria2596]

This is a very thought provoking video. Thank you. * I am a giver. I know people like you described. I don't understand that level of selfishness, and they are quite often vocal about how much more they have (bragging on their income) compared to the rest of us. Those are the people who take but do not give. They really see nothing wrong with their self-centeredness. I try to identify and let those people go pretty soon. I have found they do not change over time, and will use our resources without contributing, and even complain about what they take. I have found those who have the least are more willing to share than those who consider themselves wealthy and "above" the crowd.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Glad you think so!

[@annemarie3636]

I have no frugal friends at all. And I don't have any poor friends either. I am a bit the odd one out by being relatively frugal. But I will always have money to pay for what needs to be done and to be generous toward others. And that makes me happy. It is also necessary because I don't have anybody to fall back on (parents, etc.). I sometimes find it a shame I can't 'talk frugality' with anyone, but then I watch some YT videos to scratch that itch! 😉

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

You can talk to me. I'll listen to

[@elizabethbertsch3066]

❤ follow your beliefs! We are all here for you!

[@gladyschandler6724]

Me too, no frugal friends. I go out on events with them if I have the extra money, a brunch, HH once a month.

[@maryoriordan616]

I'd say I'm in the same situation. Lol

[@lynnoorman2144]

Me too. Folks tell me that I'm 'lucky' to own my own home in Cornwall. Well, it's very small (council tax band D) and deliberately chosen because it's cheap to heat, carpet etc! It took 20ish years of hard work to go from being on benefits ( post divorce) with 2 teenage boys to retiring early at 58. Very frugal most of that time! And working hard on my own business. 'Lucky' yes, a bit, but willing to grab opportunities and work at them. But few of my friends understand the frugal ways - whereas the folk Jane's channel do get it! Thank you Jane!

[@anniec6420]

that was a fantastic video Jane....oh i never thought to take a thermos to work to fill up with hot water.....great idea....ha ha ha

[@angelikaberber3860]

We have a family we know where the Dad insists on working only part time, that live in an absolutely tiny (and I mean TINY as in bedrooms like Harry Potter under the stairs tiny), hardly ever spend money on going out on day trips with the kids, barely make the food budget work, but ALWAYS all have the newest gear from Apple (watches, Ipads etc) and replace the old with the newest model every time it comes out. They only go on holiday every 3-5 years because they only go when they can afford a 2500 Euro a week luxury house next to the seaside…we spent all our extra money this past year on good quality camping gear and getting ourselves nice and comfy with the kids in a big tent including nice big camping kitchen (so we don‘t have to eat out much) really nice table and chairs etc…home away from home is the goal…we see that as an investment because from now on we can go on holiday every year, or several times a year, for peanuts. And it‘s def. „glamping“ at this stage 😂 Many people cannot understand how we can invest that much money into camping, but it will pay off within the first trip or two of not needing an air bnb or hotel for 5 people for 2-3 weeks. We do believe in the idea of buying good quality and saving on other stuff, like buying most things second hand. So we always have some money we can throw at stuff we will enjoy for longer. We are very frugal when it comes to food (all home cooked) and clothing (all second hand or home sewn, using good cotton thrifted bedsheets for my girls and my dresses as materials etc and no, we don’t look like we are wearing bedsheets 😂 -> tailoring is everything!). I am learning more and more about sewing clothing, it’s the only way to own decently made nice quality clothes that last nowadays sadly..). We are great with utilities and in general stay well within our budget overall..Also don’t buy much in the way of toys (more stuff to declutter), but I will spend money on family fun and making memories, also on good food..That’s important to us. My British grandmother was careful and wise with money but never cheap or ungenerous..She told me once „in the end you cannot take it with you“. So when we visited Britain, as a little girl I always got a beautiful heavy pound coin or two (pirate gold it felt like to me!) from her to spend. And there was always excellent food on her table, all home cooked, naturally. 🥰😄 It‘s all a balance in the end. I think although you can fall off both sides of the horse, in our day we have def. been brainwashed into consuming way more than we need. I‘m on a journey towards being more careful with my money, but I always want to be able to be generous and I also don‘t want my family to feel deprived and just hear no, no, no all the time. ❤

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@angelikaberber3860 thanks for sharing your experience

[@justynakavi407]

I don't have any friends who are very frugal, some are more careful than others but mainly overspenders. However back in London my friend was a housekeeper of the lady that was a millionaire and still asked only of 3 inches of water in her bath just like during the wartime. The thing that makes my blood boil as a daughter of the single mother, is those relationships you mentioned where a woman is "taking care" of her man (that they don't share a household with" and the guy is taking advantage of her, its not only grocery shopping but cleaning, trips etc. I'm so sad to see many of grown women so desperate to be with somebody to accept loosers like that and compromise their own financial future over a lowlife like this.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

It saddens me. If I got invited to stay and the host couldn't even stump up a loaf of bread, some milk and jar of jam, I wouldn't want to go again and certainly wouldn't be taking them shopping

[@mackerelcat6677]

In the US, not turning on the water heater would be an invitation to having bacteria grow in it. And houses must have adequate heat and ventilation or they will get moldy. The house I grew up in was cold and damp and our shoes would mildew if we left the closet door closed.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Same here and the UK.

[@JillD-ux9zb]

The not bathing to save money made me giggle. In the 50s we lived in a cold water flat with very sparse heating. My mother would nightly heat kettles of water, toss me into the freezing iron tub and scrub me with brown soap pouring warm water over me, rinsing with cold from the tap. All the while muttering how we were poor, but dammit we would NOT be dirty!! I am very frugal but take short, hot showers daily because dammit i need to stretch funds, but will not be dirty!!

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I know people who genuinely believe we don't need to shower daily

[@JillD-ux9zb]

I do as well. But 40 years of commuting on rush hour crowded buses and subways cars convinced me otherwise.😊

[@muttersmenu2422]

Love the memories of growing up post war years in the UK 🇬🇧, after the nightly wash we stank of life boy soap 🧼🌝. I now appreciate lavender soap bars.✔️🇦🇺

[@veraroemer1530]

I'm one of them.

[@lauradavis3559]

I was helping with catering at a wedding. There was homemade punch, about 40 liters worth. Ran out very early and I had to run out for more ingredients. Turns out people were filling up baby bottles, sippy cups, and water bottles to take home. They even had the catering staff pack up trays for them. Crazy thing is it was in a church right after service so it likely that some were not even guests!

[@jaclyn_rn8513]

Goodness! That must be some kind of punch! 😂 Do you mind sharing the recipe?

[@lauradavis3559]

@ sure. It was orange sherbet with ginger ale poured over. Rainbow sherbet also is good.

[@mikel2044]

It’s an interesting topic. What level of frugality that is suitable for yourself? How far will you go? What is important? What is acceptable? It doesn’t matter what level you choose. It matters that you ask the questions about the importance of these expenses. These expenses affect your ability to be solvent.

[@livingmybestlife9697]

Thank you for the great tips❤

[@kathigos4921]

It's such an individual thing how people spend their money. I connected well with one of my sons over New Year discussing how we save money by refilling capsules for the coffee machine. It was the cutest thing and I've sent him pics of my hand filled capsules as opposed to his filling a recyclable capsule every day for his machine. It cuts my coffee cost in half and I can buy any coffee I want.😂❤

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

It's better than not having hot water to save money

[@berylsly]

There are the givers and the takers. I know who we subscribed to, because it’s a good feeling to pass on joy to those who appreciate that you have thought of them. It may only be a pot of jam, loaf of home made bread etc. OR a quilt you have made. Doesn’t matter. Love your ethics. ❤❤❤

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thank you

[@kellielambert2184]

The ‘meal of the condemned man’ made me laugh out loud as I am sure we all know someone like that. I used to work with a woman who used to take home the tea bags supplied by my employer using the justification that she doesn’t drink tea so she took her share home for her husband. She always told us ‘I am not much of a lunch eater’ and would have cheese on biscuits for her lunch everyday. Each to their own I say but you should have seen her shovel the food down at lunch when it was supplied free of charge 🥺

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

It's purposeful deprivation. There's plenty of ways to eat healthily and on a budget.

[@barbarasheers1273]

Jane, great conversation. For me, as a recent newcomer to Frugality Mentality I have focused on less waste, food, water, electricity, gasoline, etc. Small steps reminding myself daily what my goal is, it's not a cruise or a trip to the Grand Canyon, its having money (not credit) to fall back on when things go off the rails. January saw a need for a new dishwasher and three unexpected trips to the vet for our German Shepherd. (He's fine now that rascal.) I really thought twice and thrice before ordering the dishwasher, I could live without one but I am 68 and share a home with my Mother (90) and Sister.(61) so I shopped and shopped, got the best deal I could afford and don't regret the expense. This is what I'm learning from your channel.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

You did well. I love all dogs.

[@muttersmenu2422]

I have a balanced approach with friends we all pay our own way. Another friend I always give a Christmas gift 🎁but she doesn’t instead fixes clothes and other things during the year. Thank you Jane and Mike for a great video 😊👍✔️ Pats to the doggies 🐾

[@suelamond4060]

I also have a friend the repairs things for me.I think it's great.If she needs shopping and I'm going I'll get it for her.

[@lindajacquot5391]

I have a family member who we call "5 Star". When she travels by car she will absolutely not stop at fast food places. She prefers to sit in a restaurant or diner, taking her time, and having a full meal. Nevermind being on a tight schedule and traveling 500 miles or more a day. While fast food isn't the best, I consider the time lost sitting in a restaurant on a long trip a waste of time. I actually prefer to pack my own meals, at least for part of the trip. So money and time-wise I am more frugal, although I admit I could do a better job and not stop for any food at all. The "5 Star" is for her choice of hotel accommodations when traveling - the very best, even if she is not going to use all of the hotel amenities.

[@geraldinenaughton1522]

I'll tell you something that's hard to believe, but it the absolute truth. I have an aunt, who times her foreign holiday with communion and confirmations.. so she won't have to give the children money. She has a lot of grandchildren, neices and nephews, also neighbours who are that age group. She will not give anything to anyone, not even her own. She visits no one in the summer time, but practically lives in others peoples houses in the cold weather.. she doesn't want to turn on her heating.. these are just two examples, there's alot more. I don't know how anyone can be this way. When she's in a bar, she will wait to see when the staff are collecting glasses from the tables, she'll swallow her drink then go to the bathroom, when she comes back to the table, she'll make a big hullabaloo about the staff taking her glass that what half full.. then she'll will go to the bar and complain, and get another full drink. Its embarrassing. She lives in a three story home in a lovely area, her husband is a retired building contractor, they have two rental properties, one in a seaside town and the other is near the local University and rented to students. No shortage of money.

[@RuthFrankis]

I agree on your points. I am in uk have a shower every other day as skin dry. I too grew up with the weekly bath ..I don’t eat cheap food our health is so important and to be valued . Thank you for your content always helpful ❤

[@jackiephillips9042]

When we travel to a National Park or Provincial Park here in Canada, we rent a cabin and take all our own food. We perhaps eat out once a month (date) and it is usually brunch as it is the least expensive meal to eat out. We do celebrate our Anniversary and my birthday by going out for a meal, which we have budgeted and saved for. I probably do lots of frugal things that others would glance sideways at me, but as you say everyone does frugality differently.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Sounds great!

[@maryoriordan616]

I'm definitely on the same page Jane, and I have met people over the years similar to those you describe. Im happy to save but to improve my lifestyle and not to live in misery

[@tutuluvsminnie7129]

I know many elderly who dont take full bath/shower everyday. They clean themselves everyday as you described. Nurses in Assisted living homes give clients a shower 3 times a week

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thanks for sharing

[@aliliveswellonless]

There are many varieties of frugality and there are some people who push it to the edge of cheapness!! I don't do depravation either but make choices to reflect that. That's why I say I live well on less! Great video, found myself nodding and agreeing a lot!! 🙂

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@aliliveswellonless Thanks Ali and for taking the time to comment.

[@yelenayeli9529]

We don't visit restaurants often. But for us a nice warm house is important. That is during the day on 19 degrees and in the evening 20 degrees celsius. Friends choose to have the house colder. We also did that in the past, but not anymore. Because it feels too uncomfortable and the house becomes moist.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I have friends with cold houses but eat weekly in restaurants. They prefer to spend their money going out than on heating

[@aaac1561]

we run the water heater only at night - thus no hot showers in the evening during the winter... Baths are rare, we take showers instead. we eat out about 2 times a year... we do splurge for holiday...

[@CreamPuff-ek8fd]

Great video. I grew up with parents who worked very hard and we did not lots of luxuries but we always had great nutritious food and as much as we wanted of it and heating etc. People were invited to our house for a lovely meal and even surprise visitors were always offered coffee and biscuits. If we visited someone at their house we always brought cake my mom made or some veggies from the garden etc. we learned about being hospitable and gracious and generous with those less unfortunate. I am doing the same. Frugality for me is being intentional with how you use your money and resources for what you want to do but it’s not being stingy or cheap . I would rather do without than being uncomfortably cold during our long Cdn winters or unclean or so stingy that I cannot help someone who needs a helping hand. For the readers don’t be stingy with you time and let the adverts run so we can get more videos!

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Absolutely agree.

[@lenaharden5486]

You are right Jane, people have different ways of being frugal but food is important. We don't want to go back to the days of living off pease pudding for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

[@rachelseibert7882]

Great show! I agree with you 😊

[@Larissa-iw5wy]

I agree with your comment on foods. We knew someone who would eat miserly at home but eat to the point of being stuffed when visiting and take all leftovers home. It was very off putting, dare I saw rude.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@Larissa-iw5wy i dont mind feeding people, I like to. I definitely think they can eat better instead of going on lots of trips but i respect their choices

[@Larissa-iw5wy]

@ yes, we love to host people and feed them well. For me, it was the lack of reciprocity and other interactions. I respect frugality and try to be myself however this particular situation/person in our world went beyond.

[@ScarletFoundryTarot]

the meal of the condemned man!!😆😆 I love your sense of humor. I see a huge difference between frugality and stinginess. I am very frugal and also generous. I once had a friend who's frugality and 'using' of other people's and business' resources crossed into dubious moral territory.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I agree. Taking the p***!

[@virginiakihne5007]

I never get anything to drink if I go out to eat. I also cook from scratch a lot. I buy mostly all my clothes and accessories at thrift stores and garage sales. I am careful with my money but I do buy some things on vacations and for my grandkids.

[@dawnmorandin541]

Oh boy, what a subject in our household, we have a huge backyard gazebo, BBQ, decking with seating for 20, a huge pool, sun beds galore !! do you get the picture ? all summer we have people over when the temp gets to 32 degrees, have we ever gone to someone else's house for snacks, drinks etc.....guess. We love having them over and using all my towels but it would be nice to get a invite back once in a while. We don't go on holiday because we can have all the sun and drinks at home.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I understand. However, I'm not mean so I continue to share our home.

[@nadinebouchard9843]

I know that dilemma too well. We also have a great set up to have people over and their presence is a great contribution to enjoy what we have. M’y father use to say that you have to give without expecting in return. I think it was great advice. It is a privilege to be able to be the one able to give.

[@BrittanyLucy]

Do they bring anything to contribute, food or drink or anything? I know some people just have better facilities and are better and more relaxed hosts, and as others have said, you don't necessarily expect quid pro quo, but I can't imagine continually taking advantage of that without ever contributing anything.

[@nicoleholding]

My grandmother was quite well off but very scroogey to the point that all we got for our birthdays (right up until I was 30) was a $5 note in a re-used card. She would cross the other writing out. I can still visualise her sitting at the table clutching her handbag - wouldn't let it go.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Oh heck

[@suelamond4060]

Love you saying this as I have a friend who's mother in law only ever gave the grandchildren $5.00 all the time I've known her.The mother inlaw is very crafty and would make things put them in shows and then give them as presents but by the time the child got them thay were 2 small.

[@sandrahoffman1958]

years ago after moving to the country and retired, we invited the neighbors over for a dinner about twice a year and treated them to what I would say, quite a good array of food and snacks. We in turn thought these neighbors would have us to their homes but NO never did receive an invitation even tho these people seemed to enjoy themselves at our home and they had equal to nicer homes so that wasn’t the problem. After doing these dinners half a dozen times I gave up finally. When seeing these neighbors we are friendly as they and we engage in lengthy conversations ending in (we must get together sometime). HA!

[@CrystalStearns-z7y]

I agree there is a point where you just have to stop giving.

[@suelamond4060]

​@@CrystalStearns-z7yyes there are givers and there are takers.Sometimes it's takes us givers awhile to learn.

[@lynnoorman2144]

Yep, I've been wary of folk like that. Although, on the flip side, we dont know their personal circumstances- maybe they appear well off but are actually struggling...?

[@deidrespencer5467]

Here in country Victoria, Australia, we are heading into drought. I now only shower every fifth day to wash my hair & have a good scrub down, the rest of the time I have a "top n tail" hand wash. I do this so that I can use my precious water to grow my own fruit & vegetables. Also, living on my own and on a pension, the cost of living here in Australia is not helping. Thanks Jane & Mike for helping us find the balance in being frugal. 💞

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sure you would shower daily if water was plentiful

[@muttersmenu2422]

True, in WA we are also lacking rain ☔️ and are showering every other day and keeping clean in between 😊 Hopefully you are not being menaced by this fires 🔥. Take care 👍🌧️

[@andersonomo597]

I'm in Sydney and our water situation is still okay but I can't help but save water - it's really so precious! I put the rinse water from veggies on my pot plants, wash dishes using as little as possible and when I shower I get wet, turn off the taps, give myself a good scrub, and then rinse off. I hadn't realised Vic was heading into a drought - that's bad news! Cheers from NSW!

[@kellielambert2184]

Showering once a week as you are too miserable to spend the money on hot water is significantly different than showering once a week or every five days due to water shortages 😢

[@andersonomo597]

I thought I'd mention too, I know you're on a pension but I've found microfibre cloths are brilliant with just water to clean your skin - it's amazing how much dirt they pick up and how fresh you feel afterward. I've got white ones that I use only for that purpose and Aldi often has them at a really good price. Just a little suggestion...........

[@janefoley5184]

Our frugal choices very much align with yours

[@susanjacks8830]

Great video Jane! I totally agree. There is frugal and there is stingy/cheap. Love love your videos which has helped us so much.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

You are so welcome!

[@evansbowen6897]

This brought up so many memories of my in-laws uneven frugality. Rows of designer shoes but wouldn’t buy a proper washing machine. We could barely afford to eat crackers but by god we had sterling silver to eat with because they made sure we could live an elegant life. It was a shock to my system.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I respect the choices of others, I just don't share them.

[@jeannebowes2898]

I have a good friend that we often have pasta and puzzle nights at my house. She enjoys the quiet since she has a houseful. I am currently redoing some woodwork to keep me busy .Another storm is coming in, so I will be grounded for a few days!☃️☃️☃️

[@georgiawise8375]

Wow never heard that sunday hot water before....thk you great infomation cultural differences.

[@mysustainabilityjourney9321]

Ha,ha. I thought it was only me who had the hot water on once a week and had to use one kettle of water to wash with when I was young. I love a bath every day now and it just makes me feel good... Great video jane.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@mysustainabilityjourney9321 it was me too!

[@TheSilveryew]

I agree with you Jane, I will live very, very frugally for myself, but I wouldn't dream of scrimping like that towards others! They get a choice of drinks and snacks when they are visiting me, Christmas and birthday present that are thoughtful and suited to the recipient, and are always welcome to stay/visit me.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@TheSilveryew we entertain on a budget but I still put on a spread from homemade bread, quiche, scones, cake...I usually invite people to a buffet or afternoon tea. It doesn't cost much to be hospitable

[@jonnaborosky8836]

I'm usually the one who's doing things nobody else would consider doing to be frugal. I have no choice, though, as my income is low. And I'm fine with all I do to be frugal. It seems normal to me, not extreme.😁

[@Barneybudgets]

I’m sure we’ve all got people we know like you have described, I’ve met a few in my time. My OH refuses to budget. We have always had separate finances . He pays for most things and I buy the food. He is too generous with others in my opinion and it is coming back to bite him now his income has reduced. I’ll leave it there but it’s not the way it should be when you’re a couple. As for the cruisers life is for living 52 weeks of the year not just two. Great video has made me think ❤

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@Barneybudgets thanks, especially as their next cruise costs 7,000 that's a lot of unheated days, soup, and a shower a week to pay for that. As I said, I respect their choice.

[@georgiawise8375]

I like make humble meals to touch base. Today boiled chicken onions celery garlic n spices. I used broth cook lentils and rice. ❤🎉❤

[@MaritimeMisfit]

Growing up we had neighbors, who had 5 children and at night or when they went out put padlocks on their fridge and deep freezer so that the kids wouldn't eat any of the food. At mealtimes, all food was rationed out. Growing up if one of the children had a friend over for supper, one of the children would have to give a portion of their food up in order for the guest to be able to eat. The parents both worked full time and made good wages, they were not frugal, they were over the top cheap.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Yes they were

[@muttersmenu2422]

My late father in law suffered from the miser disease and on one memorable occasion mum in law planted roses and she had have potatoes grown underneath. Holidays, birthdays and Christmas were a waste of money and he would have liked them banned . Don’t worry we disliked each other but for my gentle mum In law life was a little stingy. I have a balanced version with money spend with your means and no debt. As for going out with friends we all pay our own way 😊

[@irene3196]

One of my friends, not short of a bob or two, checks her diary weekly to see how many lunches she will be having when visiting friends. She buys her groceries weekly and only buys enough for the meals she will be having at home the following week. I think it's hilarious. But I have to say that whenever she came to me she always brought either a bottle of wine or dessert. For myself, I don't really skimp on anything, I have earned my comfort, but I do try not to waste food for example. I "eat through" my freezer about every few months and then re-stock, but have a sensible supply of packets and tinned stuff always on hand.

[@Cheryl-gu1hv]

I don't have a single frugal friend. Nor do I have a family member who who thinks about their spending habits. Some are a little better than others though. We are retired now and planned for that years ago. Clean clothes, dishes, and a shower are a must have daily here at home. 😊

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thanks Cheryl. I agree with you. We too have non frugal friends.

[@elizabethbertsch3066]

My family is not very frugal (meaning siblings and their spouses), but they have all complemented me on my ability to make my small budget work. And I am so fortunate that they are all very generous. I am generous with them but in other ways. I will happily babysit their kids or bake breads and treats for them bc that is what I can afford. They know I love them to bits, but I have to plan for my financial future like Jane and Mike 😊. I am retired, too. I think I live a great life, also. I guess we are your tribe on this channel.

[@suelamond4060]

​@@elizabethbertsch3066yes I like your way of thinking we may not be able to give expensive gift but not stingy with time or love.

[@oliviafox6745]

My sister and her family would visit us and we would them. We'd give each other our grocery money to ease the burden. We'd do a bunch of free and cheap local stuff together. We took turns cooking or work together and the kids and husbands did the dishes. The cousins always had a blast. Our other unattached sister was the opposite. She would bring a pie to a fesive meal, like Christmas, (apple and cooked banana) that no one liked (and we told her), eat like a hoard of locusts and take the pie back with her. Wild.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Love that!

[@suelamond4060]

​@@FrugalQueeninFranceyes and took the pie back.

[@Savage11-b7e]

I enjoy your content and I have to share pears and cook meat together which ends up so tasty and tender then decide which veggies and bread to prepare.

[@julieanne874]

Really interesting. Thank you x The thing is there will be others who see the same in our frugality - they'd see it as totally miserable. I'm so happy being frugal, I love buying special offers, I love getting a bargain. But I have friends who would never waste their valuable time bargain hunting. So, it is one to ponder. What I absolutely do agree with is those who take and don't give (like your bbq example).

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thanks for watching

[@Sandra-s3p]

Thank you. I had to leave some of my craft groups, the expectations were not frugal at all, they said, you must do it this way regardless of price. Most of groups had husbands who supported them. Sorry, but I had to leave. Thank you you ,so much for this.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I'm sorry that happened to you

[@paulinegagne-bertrand9871]

I am with you 100% on your frugal journey. I do much the same you do to save money. Some people push it too far(there are some in my family) for my taste.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thanks for sharing!!

[@TheJoPaXXXX]

My friends are opposite, they buys new cars,travelling etc. Im the fugal. 😊

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Glad to hear it too

[@EmmaCampbell-n7v]

My late Father was sadly too frugal to the point of alienating himself. He had disposal income but expected alot from me personally with little return.... I find it sad he chose to treat his family that way. ... for me? I found it the ultimate in selfishness which cost him quality in authentic relationships 💙

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

That's really sad. I equally have people close to me who are very similar.

[@rose-g3l]

There are people like your father who actually have systemic relationship difficulties and rely on "pseudo frugality" to establish connections. In this case, frugality is not a choice. The result is sad for them and their families. My cousin is the same and I broke this impossible relationship with regret and with great sorrow. I stopped hurting myself, since there was nothing else I could do for her.

[@EmmaCampbell-n7v]

@@FrugalQueeninFrance 💜

[@carolcalicott1464]

I haven’t any frugal friends.. they think I’m different because I cook at home/ bake our bread, etc and never eat out, buy coffee, buy haircuts, no manicures, etc. I’ve always done those things well for our family (4sons). But, I do love nice handbags that they say they can’t afford( as they eat out 4x a week and drive long distances quite often, get their hair and nails done, have massages, etc) I easily sell the bags I tire of to fund anything ‘extra’ I want and most purchases are pre loved and if clothes are needed they are bought second hand or I sew them myself. I love quilting also but quite a bit of the fabric is second hand linen or clothing of good quality fabric that I cut up.. It surely helps to be a creative person who enjoys making things and getting creative!

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thanks for sharing

[@marty9011]

My husband's grandparents went through the 1930s depression & grandma never really got over it. First time we stayed with them my husband was sent out to ask fishermen for fish heads to make soup. We used old, cracked cups but there was a china cabinet full of nice china that was never used. She was cheap I think !

[@georgiawise8375]

Had Aunt and Uncle measure every thing per meal. I was 6 yrs old never forgot 2 teaspoon of sugar for my 1 glass tea. Meals cooked beautifully but no seconds😂

[@kamicrum4408]

I was horrified to attend a funeral,I watched my in lawswait until every one was fed, then iffer to take the leftnover home with them,in the church I grew up in, funeral leftniver were sent home with the greiveing family, so there was a lot of cooked food availble ready and waiting, when .i politely asked my husband opabout his fsther and step moms behavior, he shugged and said, my Dad would rather take it home than see them throw it away,I was confused.

[@LimousinLife]

We totally agree Jane

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Thank you

[@heatherj3030]

I agree with all of your points. Unfortunately, my mom is one of those people who will come over and eat 5 bags of chips, or whatever cookies we have. I don't mind sharing, but if we have something special for our family, I hide it, and put out something else for her, because it's not fair to my husband or kids if she wipes out something that is a rare treat. I wouldn't hide things if my dad or stepmom were visiting, because they only take a normal amount.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Oh no

[@rose-g3l]

I give you a hug because it is difficult for your heart that must maintain a balance between its mother and her husband and children.

[@georgiawise8375]

Today i wish i could stick to portion control.

[@clydare]

Goodness me , talk about Dickensian misery that some people resort to. It’s actually very sad that some people choose to live like this. Personally I couldn’t do it. My frugality never affects other people. I knew someone who took the bulb out of the fridge to save electricity. That’s sad! My grandmother was a very wealthy lady yet she used to dumpster dive and reuse teabags 😂 Not sure what we call dumpster diving over here ! Again thank you both for a most entertaining and helpful video. Love the one about drying laundry at work. Unreal!

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Especially with their choices to not eat well when they're saving for a brand new car or cruise

[@mariewhite7824]

balance in all things hehe!!

[@nzmoneykarma]

Gosh this is funnier the more I watch! A woman actually brought in clothes to dry today😂

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

It happens

[@Hadassahs-Holt]

My husband and I have always seen high quality food and hot water and soap as investments in our health. I don’t compromise on good food, but there’s little money left after that and health insurance. I’d be mortified to not offer visitors food, or a drink.

[@eileencook6881]

I think the example of buying cheap cuts of meat should have a caveat. My mom used to buy cheap cuts of meat but she was an incredible cook, all my friends wanted to eat at my house because my mom was such a good cook.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I buy cheap cuts of meat too and make good meals

[@sophiawolthof1238]

👍👍👍

[@nzmoneykarma]

Cool video! Argh the once a week bath…. My old boss in the UK would have a bath once a week… and she was third in line for the water after husband and teenage son!

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

We shared bath water as children! Then all week boiled the kettle to fill the bathroom sink and wash with a cloth.

[@hedgiegal3340]

I never buy second hand furniture. We bought a used couch many years ago and ended up spending a couple thousand dollars having the whole house fumigated for bugs. Now we buy new, but good quality that will last for years.

[@cleadouglas6448]

Did you knit that sweater? Ive been knitting kids mittens and i some times un ravel old knits to make them. I donate them to a local child care facility. Another great video. 😊

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

No, 2€ from the charity shop

[@Weltliteratur-]

Hallo from Austria. You are a great inspiration 🎉

[@gladyschandler6724]

I believe you are what you eat. So we budget, but we get quality meats, fruits, and vegetables. I bake, so we have some treats.

[@cindyfoley268]

Loved the video. I’m with you….I don’t eat out and I would not go camping. 😊

[@suelamond4060]

We don't eat out much but we love camping here I Australia it really good to reconnect to the outside.

[@saramm3765]

I wouldn't be able to date someone that expected me to feed and care for them and they wouldn't reciprocate! 😮

[@CharleneEvenson]

I consider myself frugal but, like you, I will always be comfortable.

[@SharonMcGee-b2i]

I agree!

[@lucy14981]

Thanks, for the great ideas!❤

[@SharonAngelo]

Just wondering, do you all have kids or grandkids? I ask bc that is why I still work to get them through school. Thanks for your pop. Love hearing how you all save and live

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@SharonAngelo my family are all grown up and independent

[@SharonAngelo]

​@@FrugalQueeninFrance I'm on my last one . I love what I do but will be excited to drop down to less days of work. Thank you again. Would love to see you do shopping trips..sorry if I missed you doing this...love love your pods

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@ hi, we can’t film in public here

[@irenegoldie4774]

There's frugal and then there is downright mean. Freeloading is basically stealing from other people, it's nasty, selfish and creates a lingering bad feeling. I am frugal and thankfully, so are most of my friends. The best thing is to be upfront and agree beforehand on what you both are and are not, willing to do. It eliminates misunderstandings and potential resentment.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@irenegoldie4774 well said

[@susannahedwards8230]

I have a question I've wanted to ask not related to this video. I just wonder the reason you moved to France? Was it because it's cheaper than uk?

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

We relocated for the quality of life

[@susannahedwards8230]

@FrugalQueeninFrance so it is cheaper in France? I live on other side of the world so wouldn't know.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@susannahedwards8230 you can do your own price comparisons. Quality of life gives no indication of cost.

[@susannahedwards8230]

@@FrugalQueeninFrance ok sorry for asking

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@ you're welcome to ask and I answered that we relocated for quality of life that had nothing to do with costs

[@caroleyates7664]

You hit the nail on the head with this one! My brother in-law and his wife will come for a bbq with 2 sausages but she is always the first one up when the food is ready having performed the miracle of converting her sausage into steak, chicken and everything else. Hoover's desert like a starving person. This also happens to be the only time her backside leaves her seat. Never helps with any cleanup.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I'm glad we all know these people

[@lorelei9393]

I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Not a spendthrift or a miser but just trying to do my best with my resources

[@helenwilkins4337]

We have very good friends that always invite themselves to our house for lunch and never bring anything with them. Her excuse is you’re such a good cook you’ll get nothing edible if you come to us. He is vegan and she is gluten free. I always have to cook 2 different things because my husband is a fussy vegetable eater. I can’t repeat what my husband says I should tell them!

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

It's tricky. I'll always be generous but I now invite friends like that for coffee.

[@helenwilkins4337]

@ that’s a really good idea thank you 😊

[@lynnestait8011]

I couldnt be frugal to the point I was living a life of deprivation to fund an expensive trip away, especially compromising on food which is vital for good health, even more so as you enter your later years, I'd rather have a decent quality of life for the other 50 weeks of the year. We havent had a trip abroad in 10 years, and only have just renewed our passports as my 60th birthday trip will be somewhere away from the UK, just havent decided where, and wherever will be within the budget allocated.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

We take trips, eat picnics when we get there are take food with us. I'd rather do that personally than a Caribbean cruise. I respect their choices

[@marshagaravaglia8149]

Great video ❤

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

@@marshagaravaglia8149 thank you

[@susansharp4162]

We don't have any frugal friends or family. We're the odd ones out. People have come to my house and asked if my dryer is broken because my clothes were drying on a clothes horse (drying rack)!!😂😂

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I don't know people with driers

[@hihi-nv4kf]

There is no way I'm freezing nor going hungry. I'm like u if it's not on sale I can wait untill it is. I'm in a relationship like that, he's a bum and he's got 1 foot out the door,I'm looking for a real thrifty manly caring man.❤❤

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

Good for you

[@LorettaNance]

I am frugal (and comfortable) in most areas, so I can travel without acquiring debt.

[@roz.russell8122]

Each to their own

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I agree

[@GillianWilliams-m2r]

I find people who are too tight to eat well end up paying for it, ie the body keeps score! Also, am interested to know why you don't make your own bread? For AUD 80 cents, I make a small sourdough, and it's delicious and healthy. I am fortunate in that it costs me zero to bake, having solar and an electric oven.

[@FrugalQueeninFrance]

I do but not often as we don't need to. A sour dough tradtional baguette is 1,20

[@mysustainabilityjourney9321]

I have a thrifty elderly friend who gets ill but doesn't put the heating on but complains of being cold.