Being neurodivergent at 30

[@monsieurwolf6122]

As a bloke with ASD another issue is knowing who to trust or not. People with autism often get used, whether it's fake friends or people pretending to be romantically interested to get something from you etc. I have my guard up a lot which causes me to alienate alot of people, but I know I'd do something stupid if someone managed to pull the wool over my eyes...

[@andrewtaylor4138]

Hey mate, this video was really quite raw and powerful and I’d like to say a massive thankyou for sharing as hearing your story definitely helps myself, I think putting one foot in front of the other and Doing your best and identifying the neurodivergent aspect is amazing you’ve been able to recognise that dude, I’ve recently been diagnosed with severe ADHD as a 22 year old which led to a lot of issues in my life as I thought it was me that was the problem despite putting my best into things and really negatively impacted me, however the future is bright my man, getting diagnosed and taking the positive steps is the way forward and has been a massive step forward for for me and I’m sure it will be for you as well! All the best Josh 🙏

[@shaeskii5023]

I cannot lie, whilst I'm not quite at the age of 30 just yet, I have just a sprinkle of years (4 and a bit) left until I am, this popped up by chance, I was ridiculously comforted to know that I'm not the only one going through this, I always feel mentally more like a teenager than the actual age I am, vs everyone else who seems to be moving onwards and upwards, achieving things that they say just needs 'a bit of effort' or to not be 'lazy' which roughly for me translates into months and then into years because it feels so incredibly overwhelming, whilst also trying to figure out what I'm actually interested in as a person vs matching what everyone around me likes within that criteria, nothing ever feels.. truly, me? not for a long time, which, I've only just noticed within myself for the last couple of months since I also started this journey of trying to better myself mentally, I was diagnosed with ADHD 15 years ago, which, by that time I had mentally (and those around me too) had written off as a misdiagnosis because I was also diagnosed with something else shortly after that would make me react the same kind of way with hyperactivity/energy, as I've gotten older, that side of me is no longer around unless in certain environments, not even with certain people anymore either, it's so incredibly taxing and I understand how that it's incredibly likely I am autistic too, though, I don't want to be seen as being that, as if its something bad, or something that is not desirable, because in reality? it isn't, no matter how 'trendy' it appears online to people, I'm happy that people are speaking about things like this more openly, yes, but I also hate the stigma that continues to stick with it, whether people are telling the truth or saying it just because its viewed as 'funny' or 'cute' - struggling with emotional dysregulation isn't a cute thing, it's incredibly taxing, it feels like your whole world is falling apart because a very simple and small thing happened, but too many times in a row, which then sticks with you for weeks, months, years at worst and the depression + anxiety that comes along with that? debilitating beyond belief, or how self care in any regard, whether it comes wtih eating, staying hydrated, being physically clean, looking after your environment consecutively, remembering extremely important things to keep yourself from being ill, anything within that nature, it's- it's not an easy thing to keep control of, but for everyone else it seems like it is, I know life can be a whole lot worse for others too, I'm not blind to that, but, I hope that you, myself and anyone else who is struggling so ridiculously much with very 'simple' things, eventually does build to actually, perfectly simple things, keep on pushing, we all can survive this mental battle! *I have been requested by a psychiatric to do an autism screening test, without me even bringing it up.

[@JoshLucaJames]

Probably the longest comment I’ve ever received on one of my videos. I appreciate the time you made! Should I make more videos on the topic with my experience? Is it something you’d be interested in?

[@als5790]

Despite being female and in Aus I find parts of this quite relatable, probs the turning 30 and autistic. I’ve suddenly noticed I’m so tired from trying to fit in through some types of social interactions. And tbh I was able to not even do this full time, part time masker because I feel like I could get away with being considered just a bit quirky or eccentric a lot of the time. Somehow I’m still so tired. This seems very genuine and reminds me of recently I realised how beneficial having female friends is. I can be considered a bit quirky or eccentric but my long term close friends have just always been there. I don’t think I’ve ever realised how beneficial that is. Male friendships have always been so confusing to me, they seem to often lack depth despite simultaneously having huge amounts of loyalty. I realise that’s a generalisation but with some truth to it. I think not having those close friends in that way even if there were ppl around it would have been extremely difficult and I hope you’re doing well

[@als5790]

I also love your dog

[@Todd-erate]

This is a very productive way to get your thoughts out. Sometimes the brain can be loud, but writing, speaking, and communicating with others on ideas can really help straighten out ideas in a more cohesive way! I have adhd and things get so muddled in the head. I agree for men it's hard to find a community of others who are willing to hear you out and sympathize, but you've done a good job reaching out I'd say.

[@Todd-erate]

One thing I've noticed about anger flares is my body temperature is out of wack. Try to get somewhere cool. I don't know what the weather is like in that area that you live in, buy try wearing less layers to help your body regulate better. Increased body heat can lead to impulsivity with emotions, and actions taken in the moment.

[@remy7257]

Diagnosed ADHD last month and self-dx’d autism a bit before that. I turned 31 a few days ago and saw this video on my front page and relate so much. I really appreciate you sharing this openly and honestly. I copy people’s accents and mannerisms, or mimic them from media all the time, or latch onto other people and their interests with hyperfocus and only actually “retain” half of them as genuine friendships or interests, so I wondered what’s “me” a lot in the past. I’ve got great friends that I can just be weird around, but I wonder what my social or romantic life would have been with a different brain. I wonder what I would have achieved and done differently. While diagnosis and support needs to be WAY better and more available, at a personal level… I just like to think that in our life stories, things have to happen at the times they do. I hope that finding this out now, as late as it is, can lead you to some amazing new things. Congrats on starting therapy… maybe look into some scheduling situations that aren’t just 1 session/week if money is a concern - for example, starting at once a week and then moving to less frequent visits when you feel more comfortable. There’s good research on this being just as effective as the typical weekly session. You said “1 hour’s not gonna do it”, and you’re right, but it’s a fantastic first step. If you don’t feel you have the right therapist after a few visits, don’t hesitate to keep trying!

[@JoshLucaJames]

I appreciate the tips for sure i will definitely apply. Seems like you and I are living a very similar experience!

[@stanleyorourke9362]

I'm Nurodiverse I'm autistic. I suffered with depression and anxiety. Was suicidal but come out of the dark place I was in. I can relate 100% good luck with therapy

[@JoshLucaJames]

I’m glad you came out of that dark place. I think it’s sensible to realise that dark times come but they also go. Happiness isn’t are natural state of mind so we can accept the bad as well as the good and trust that we will be okay. 👍🏻

[@carlys3007]

This brought tears to my eyes, I don’t think there’s a single thing you mentioned that I don’t relate to. I’ll be 30 next year and I always say I feel like I’m trying to communicate to people through soundproof glass. My heart aches for us both and anyone else with a similar experience.

[@JoshLucaJames]

I’m glad that I’m not the only one. But we’ll be able to pull through, we’ve made it this far right 😊