Being Ugly and Gay

[@Jason-ml3vs]

The worst is when someone calls you ugly and one of your friends says, “that’s not a nice thing to say!” Basically they are saying it’s true but you shouldn’t Say

[@albertowilliams959]

I feel you. As an Afro-Latin non-binary gay in Chicago, SO MUCH of even just making FRIENDS within the LGBTQ “community” is heavily determined by race, class, gender, socioeconomics, etc.

[@darrenwiggins9957]

Chicago gay's want to know what your stock portfolio is . If you don't have one and are not drop dead hot. You do not exist .

[@mjbaz1]

GWM here. I have been very obese all my life. I am in my 50's now. In the past 10 yrs. I have managed to lose half my body weight. I definitely look better. I am still a daddy, but at least I have a man's shape. My dick is definitely bigger, and I have surprisingly lost a friend (more like 'frenemy') because mine is bigger than his. That aside, it is my observation that gay men tend to hang with men that are their peers. What I mean is, they hang with guys they would hook up with, even if they're taken. In this way it is like peer groups in school. My advice to any man that feels they aren't hot is to work with what you've got. Confidence is paramount. Let go of those that won't have you. If you are having no luck in the places you go to for hookups, you have to try somewhere else.

[@albertowilliams959]

@@mjbaz1 and where is this “somewhere else”? The more minority-intersectional identities one has, the greater the challenges one has to endure with socialization, ESPECIALLY in the gay “community”. Online “dating” spaces are consuming more and more spaces to interact with other gay men, and the transphobia, classism, racism, and oh-so much more run rampant on them!

[@mjbaz1]

@@albertowilliams959 if one were fetishizing a group that doesn't respond to you, then move on. There was a post by Asian men that lamented that white women don't respond to them. One man posted a reply that his Korean friend committed suicide after 30 yrs. of chasing white women(and never getting one date). You would think that after years of failure, he might move on and find someone that is attracted to him. People don't owe it to you to find you attractive or sleep with you. Or even want your company. You are right that there is often social ostracism in the gay community. One thing that colors this is the high number of gay men that abuse drugs and alcohol. I never have, yes I am very square. It took me years to realize that many negative interactions I have had was due to drug or alcohol induced hostility and maliciousness. I might add that in my opinion gay men are no more or less racist than the rest of society. In honesty, i can't specifically answer your question of "Where else?" It may be that if spaces like you might want don't exist, it might be that you have to create them yourself.

[@soberanisfam1323]

What’s the difference between class and socioeconomic

[@etherealdreamerart]

Unfortunately, the gay community has this hierarchy of beauty standards. I don't even bother trying to adhere to their standards. At the end of the day, we have to love ourselves first and maybe one day, we may get lucky and find a genuine connection in this world.

[@sage4nowty129]

who set up this hierarchy? i think that it is completely arbitrary.

[@soberanisfam1323]

So does the straight community

[@etherealdreamerart]

@soberanisfam1323 Agreed. Which is why I'm not concerned with dating and relationships anymore.

[@julianstone1192]

I thought it was better being gay, the parades seemed chill I guess it sucks for all of us, i try to at least recognize when I get pretty privilege but short so I can definitely emphasize

[@etherealdreamerart]

@julianstone1192 Unfortunately it's society. Best thing in the gay community is vibe with likeminded ones.

[@SheldonHallal]

I can relate. I’m 40 and still struggling with my appearance and acceptance of it being what it is. Kudos to you for facing it and getting past it. Sorry you had a hard elementary school experience.

[@malcumx5933]

Public schools are toxic. I wish I was home-schooled.😔😔😔

[@jhoward5765]

Same here

[@garytanaka]

I'm sorry you had people around you who made you feel bad about yourself Michael. I was affected the same way. Now I prefer no company over bad company. Hold your head high, smile, ignore the noise, and have a good heart. Love will find you. I feel sorry for all the pretty people, because as the beauty fades with age, they will be ill-equipped to deal with the change in attitudes toward them. Poor things.

[@julianstone1192]

Not all pretty people are like that; especially those of us who got bullied know how to feel empathy, this situation really sucks i I understand it’s tough to cope and for the mean ones yes I agree

[@zitrandy]

I'm right there with you. Especially gay men can be so cruel. Same stuff happened to me. Know you are beautiful!!

[@grayscar05]

you're not ugly ... I've seen ugly men and you're not one. You are one of the lucky ones that can make some changes to enhance your attractiveness ... some people no matter what they do will remain unappealing. Attractiveness transcends physical beauty, it's also about confidence and energy

[@arenthio]

Cope it’s all about facial structure height and frame not post modern art

[@ltskyline08]

I totally understand. I was the black fat kid who worked out hard to have a great body. And still got insults and god forbid If I use Grindr. The insult never stop or people try and use you for your body. Thank you for sharing your story. You don't know how strong and what a real man you are for sharing this. But thank you. Now I just walk and do me. Forget the beauty standards

[@williethomas9953]

I know it is strange but there was a part of me that consider being ugly was the best thing that ever happened to me. It allowed me the anonymity that gay man craved. My aunts and mother who were mean and homophobic never harassed me about never having a girlfriend or a date to any dance. We've all got that experience of being rated. Although I did get my jaw fractured when I was 12. My parents dressed me and my strikingly handsome 1 year older brother alike. But in the late 80s and early 90s AIDs destroyed the community and I escaped. I went to college and graduated and had a much more successful professional life. People leaned on me financially and it wasn't until I was in my late 40s that people noticed I had spent a lifetime alone.

[@nasheofficial]

Damn

[@Ylluminated_1]

It’s so crazy because there is nothing ugly about you! I mean that sincerely, and you have a great personality to boot.

[@piecesofme8531]

No shade. I consider myself “ugly” as well, and it always cracks me up when attractive people complain about how hard they have it in the dating scene. Physically attractive people have it a lot easier in just about all areas of life. Heck, you’ve been on KZbin longer than Nico and he has 10K subscribers but you only have 242.

[@michaelmirrorcle9779]

Nico was able to build a faithful following from using his beauty. He still has great content. Unfortunately I can't finesse in that way. People came for the thirst and stayed for the content he provides. I don't want it to be a them vs us. He provided content that was obviously in demand.

[@walterbrown2425]

THIS PART! The ONLY reason gives af about ANYTHING Nico has to say is because they think he’s cute🤷🏿‍♂️. THAT’S IT!

[@walterbrown2425]

@@michaelmirrorcle9779I think the us verses them thing started along time ago with them putting us at the bottom of the social hierarchy because they think we’re unattractive

[@IAMYUNGGAF]

Truth. Ive pretty much abandoned my channel. I feel like my musical talent videos and vlogs are overlooked because I don't fit into the traditional gay beauty standard. That being said I'm tired of speaking to an audience that doesn't want to listen and my subscribers are low too.

[@malcumx5933]

All black parents need go hear your story bro.

[@annalubenow1233]

Good looks are currency EVERYWHERE

[@tvgamerstan6180]

It's just so crazy to me how people treat you when they don't find you conventionally attractive. Whenever I would post pictures on my instagram, someone would say, "Ew" or I would have racist trolls calling me a n***er. I had a gay couple trolling me in my dms one time telling me how fat & ugly I was. They were even sending me pictures of other gay guys telling me how much more cuter they are than me. Some gay teens one day were even bullying my grown ass saying I'm a fat gay guy who thinks I'm cute. I used to be on xtube, and some guy would leave these long paragraphs on my videos telling me how obese & fat I was. He said he posted my videos on another site and said the things that people were saying about me would make me wanna run & hide. What I didn't quite understand was that when I went on his page he was liking videos of guys that looked way bigger than me. It's like how the hell are you body shaming me, but the guys in the videos that you like look way bigger than me ? Make it make sense. It's just funny how the media makes it seem like the gay community is so warm & welcoming when they're no different from straight people. Tbh, a lot of gay men act exactly like straight men as far as how they treat people.

[@Jacobytru]

I appreciate your transparency. I myself had self esteem issues and it was difficult because it feels like nobody want you. The hookup culture is definitely contributing to bad mental health. I’ve done it but learned that it’s dangerous and finding genuine love seem out of reach.

[@ianjohnson1249]

Im so sorry for all the bad situations you had to go through. I don't feel very popular or attractive myself, so hearing your stories helped. It's tough filming yourself talking about things like this and putting online, kudos for the bravery and let's hope we find deep human connections in life even though we may not get 100 likes on our selfies :)

[@ultramagnus8240]

When i was younger, I walked into my first gay space at 350 lbs at was to say the least, not fun. What made it even worse was that my best friend at the time was super fit. People saw him, they talked to him, i didn't exist. I was looked thru like i wasn't there & if anyone did look at me, it was to give me a dirty look. One guy actually walked up to me & said "why dont you lose weight?" Then walked away. I was so hurt & embarrassed. But finally, being angry at a guy i liked that ended up using me. I started to lose weight. I went from 350 lbs to 180 lbs lean. I starved myself & felt weak all the time, but guys started to see me. I started getting attention, brought drinks & asked out. Because i didn't lose weight in a healthy way, i gained it all back. I became invisible again. I hate it, but what i did learn from my experience is to see the beauty in others no matter their size or appearance. But I i still haven't learned to see it in myself....

[@stephenh9905]

Damn, that is such a rude comment! Sorry you had to hear that. I’ve heard at times I’m unattractive due to scars I have because of birth complications. I’m glad I moved a lot though, because it put in a position to talk to basically everyone, and my opinion on who I find attractive is pretty broad and I treat everyone with respect.

[@BlueScalePoseidon]

My self-esteem has always been non-existent. I make changes to improve myself, but it all ends the same.

[@BlueScalePoseidon]

I will say as of late, it took a turn for the better. My confidence is getting better and better by the day.

[@brianrizos7452]

You are a transparent soul. It’s your willingness to confront your issues is half the battle. Your worth is not a reflection of your, “EROTIC QUOTIENT.” Please, CONSCIENTIOUSLY JETTISON THAT TOXIC MYTH NARRATIVE…. Secondly, as a person who has lost over 100 lbs and kept it off, here are some pointers. 1. Food can never be a substitute for for EMOTIONAL SUSTENANCE. 2. REMOVE JUST ONE, CALORICALLY DENSE, TOTALLY, NON-NUTRITIOUS, JUNK FOOD FROM YOUR DIET. 3.AFTER EVERY MEAL, WALK FOR 5 MINUTES; OUTSIDE OR AROUND YOUR DOMICILE. 4. DON’T EAT FOR 3 HOURS BEFORE RETIRING IN THE EVENING. 5. SECOND WEEK. REMOVE A 2nd JUNK FOOD ITEM FROM YOUR DIET AND ICREASE YOUR WALKING BY 5 MINUTES. 6. CONTINUE THE ABOVE PROGRAM WITH EACH NEW WEEK. ONE ITEM OF JUNK FOOD GOES AND REPLACE IT WITH 5 ADDITIONAL MINUTES OF WALKING. Amen!!!

[@brianscates5225]

You are not ugly Michael - you are beautifully gay and warm; that is what you are; the gay world can be superficially 'elegant' and determined to be 'young' and 'beautiful'; I am now 73 with a lifetime of being gay - you are less acceptable if you are elderly, gay, plain and you don't have a very good body; being black is always sadly a disadvantage - the gay world can also be very racist; I'm not black but have had black friends gay and straight; I have had a gay partner since 1977 and have been lucky I suppose; you are what you are. Revel in being ME+ - confidence impresses. So does wealth - until you are dying - I lived through the AIDS crisis and lost affluent friends. I don't want to be negative but if you lost some weight that would help I think - although some gay men like heavyweights. I had a millionaire friend and she went psychotic and never recovered her sanity. Stay warm and alive and gay Michael. I send you a warm kiss from England.

[@YzBG]

Being black is not a disadvantage for me. First, I don’t find white men physically attractive and generally my friends, associates and dating partners are all black 2/I am AfroLatino .. and strictly desire black men .. African Americans, AfroLatinos, Afro Brazilians, Afro Caribbean and Africans from the continent. There are more black people in the world than white people.. and the is a wide variety of skin color, hair textures, facial features, personal styles. Black is truly beautiful.. and we got the best swag 3/there are many spaces that are predominantly black.. and no one is really checking for white men in those spaces..clubs, pride events, social activities, cruising areas etc If you hang in white spaces, of course, those spaces would validate whiteness. I don’t choose to go to those places.. because there is nothing in white spaces for me. No interest whatsoever. I don’t seek white acceptance or validation .. so no disadvantage here. Black is beautiful 😊

[@julianstone1192]

Are there not gay dudes with BBC fetish? I wouldn’t know lol

[@archetypalj]

Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing your experiences with beauty standards and desirability.

[@shugochar]

Lol I looked this up because I keep getting ignored by guys on apps and I just really want to give up trying at this point. I never felt overlooked or that I was unattractive until I started interacting with gay men. I'm only 23 and I wanna find love so bad but it's so difficult being plus size and black in the gay community. 😭

[@shugochar]

You are not ugly by any means and I am not either. This community places one type of person on a pedestal and the closer you are to that standard the more you are seen as valuable or attractive. It sucks but looking at it from a sociological perspective helps as the way we're being treated is truly the product of an unjust system (as dramatic as it sounds)

[@0n_Cloud_9]

I use to feel sad looking back at the past when all I could do is hook up to feel attractive because I knew my face wasn’t going to attract anyone but I knew I had a decent body and used that to attract guys. It made me very depressed when people have told me,”well you should feel lucky that this hot guy wants you”,yeah wants me in the wrong way. I was literally told that I’m basic as f but I’d still let you hit it,because your body is hot.I felt like I should be on the Guinness World Records for being the ugliest guy in the world after hearing that.😭I never thought I’d find love until I met my soulmate who showed me true love exists and to him I’m the only guy in the world. I’ve never experienced this before and I feel so happy now because I feel the same way about him,nothing from past bothers me anymore.I truly believe there’s someone out there for everyone it just takes time. 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍😍💕💕💕💕

[@adrianobeerman7461]

I'm considered a cute guy in my home country (Bolivia), but in the US I'm so damn ignored.

[@0n_Cloud_9]

@@adrianobeerman7461 The US is full of superficial guys with big egos. I’m sorry that you’re going through that. 😞

[@theyincorporated5711]

Reminder just because you find love doesn’t mean everyone else will your experience is your own not anyone else’s

[@malcumx5933]

hey brother....thanks for making this video....I am so glad that someone can relate to me.

[@johnmeszaros3827]

Self talk ! Find your center. There is beauty in everyone and everything. Change your environment if it belittles you/people. I don’t find you ugly at all ! Feel your best and you’ll look your best.

[@chrisburnett9905]

Everyone has somebody else who will find them physically attractive. The problem is that as you get older and if you're also overweight, or maybe even downright obese, fewer of those people are out there and you kind of give up on getting a boyfriend or even a sex partner. Being gay is also a disadvantage because women will forgive more physical unattractive than other men will. About all you can do is be yourself and enjoy life, since trying to change yourself to be something you're not almost never works.

[@hummingbirdcity]

The only thing being attractive really gets you is easier access to sex which ultimately means nothing and more options for romantic relationships which will almost always end with one or two broken hearts. All else can be gained by our ability to acquire it. Friends will be friends no matter what they think of our looks. Every industry save a few aren't hiring for appearances, as long as you dress for the position and can perform the duties. Unless you're in an industry whose income is entirely based on physical appearance, I agree that beauty's importance is unfair to those who don't have it, but it is also an illusion for those who do. The flipside of the coin of beauty being "social currency" is that someone who can benefit from it can't ever be sure that anything they're given by others isn't a silent bribe for sex or romance. Unless, it's a blatant one, which hurts or helps depending on the person. I say all this wholly believing beauty is relative and that someone isn't beautiful or not just because you or I or a group of people think so. I'm kind of riding the middle here. I was beautiful in my youth, but I'm not anymore according to any standard by which I used to be able to say that. I can't know if it hurts more or less than always having felt ugly, but it does feel awful to have felt the warmth of something and then getting left in the cold from a certain point forward...even knowing what I know and believing what I believe. I'm sorry for what you went/are going through, at any rate.

[@elpomito447]

Being fat doesn’t mean ugly it means unhealthy.

[@marklouis1890]

Exactly and what's ugly and attractive is subjective. I'm attracted to bigger guys and mean of different body types

[@sebastiancastellanos3575]

it sucks. and i think its okay. i removed that part from my life. i dont think about love or sex anymore.

[@nasheofficial]

😢lord take me nowwwww😭 I did not sign up for this

[@Phoenix.Sparkles]

At least physical appearance can't others, being ugly on the inside, now that's a different story!

[@sage4nowty129]

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I think sometimes in the gay community that age is a more important factor than looks. Because in the "gay community" there was or there is the completely unrealistic notion than the prime of life for a gay man is between the ages of 16 and 19, anything over 19 is considered "old".

[@BlackHatTy]

Welcome to my world. I had the same experience, like wanting to be the phantom of the opera. truth is, you're not ugly, and Im not either. It's conditioning by people who hate themselves. I even felt like skipping meals and wearing a facemask due to my looks. Now im owning my face. People are mean. Im sorry you had that experience. You didnt deserve it, and you're not ugly.

[@elpomito447]

Physical appearance changes throughout the years. Many so called “beautiful” people today were bullied for being not good looking back in time. Whats the best medicine to treat that? It’s called Personality. Personally vs Beauty that’s all. If you don’t look good, and you think your look is the only feature you have then you are toasted. Your character, your education, your taste, etc etc.. can make you awesome as well. People also has the obligation of not idealize themselves. You got what you got. Let’s work on what else you can get.

[@flyingdragoncar4975]

I feel this , my mom would also tell me i was ugly too. She ramped it up when i got my first boyfriend. We got robbed of our childhood in a way. Its like being cruel to us was the point. Your story about the list. I like your shirt btw.

[@Jj-cf6yb]

U made me tear up.

[@kennethjacobs6049]

I know exactly where you coming from the gay community is about physical appearance perfect looks perfect body I've been told I'm the ugly duckling of my other two siblings it cuts to your soul you can be beautiful and still be ugly but people will Overlook that if you're physically attractive .

[@dashaunthompson6785]

From top to bottom I enjoyed the video and I appreciate you for being honest. You're beautiful 😘!!

[@j.g.2478]

When people say to me "you matter"- I dont know how to believe that. I am an almost 30 year old ugly and lonely loser who has nothing to show for himself. I definitely do not matter. The world would probably even be better off if I was never born.

[@michaelmirrorcle9779]

You do matter. It's hard to feel like you do if you don't have a genuine support system.

[@mayankaranya]

We both are on same boat brother ...

[@sinsajoeverdeen8818]

Man, I feel the same.

[@Pandora234able]

Beauty and attractiveness is based on the Eurocentric model. So...I really think a lot of it boils down to not being white tbh

[@Puzzybear-qb1sr]

There's always someone who may seeyou differently joyce meyers daily devotional

[@anthonymastrando9299]

I was always a handsome guy. Guys would approach me while I was with my husband. My point, I’ve had 2 husbands. One died of heart attack at 40 and the other one unfortunately is still alive but both were not attractive. I always married average guys. BTW, your handsome.

[@stephenh9905]

I somewhat highlighted this in a reply, wanted to make my own comment though. Not super humble to say but I definitely consider myself attractive 😅. However I have been called ugly due to scars I have on my body cause of birthing complications, I have also heard the inverse where people find that attractive. Other than looks though I moved a lot (military brat) so due to that I was constantly around new people, growing up like that essentially instilled in me confidence in myself. In turn making me more attractive, also blush like crazy if given a compliment 😅. Confidence I can say is for sure important! I do have friends others would probably consider unattractive who are also gay, and granted they have had partners for a while now, but they sometimes would really talk about how they would be treated, which to me just sounded awful! I would think how can people just be so mean?! Having to move around so much though, also made me more socially aware, so if there was someone alone during lunch, or whatever situation, I’d intentionally go over and make conversation. And if I am ever hit on, I will always respond in a kind manner even if I personally don’t find the person attractive, because that takes some vulnerability to do that! It’s just important to be kind and respectful!

[@faviolaura9403]

thank you for this video im 19 struggling with this too This really helped me

[@michaelmirrorcle9779]

I'm really glad!

[@maaheez]

Better late than never to look good, you look amazing !!

[@MJC22.03]

The thing is you're not ugly to me . Don't compare yourself to others - Ignore what media has conditioned you to think , The truth is real spunk ..or "Swagger" is what is attractive - Mate your fine - People get attracted to different things ,trust me it's not about body symmetry or muscles or great hair or any of that shit ...it's about attitude and the glint in your eye . You'll see. Have faith and be happy and you'll be a magnate to the right person..

[@louismurphy799]

I feel like that all the time. Never felt like I was handsome or even cute. I always hated my face. So since I wasn't about to go under the knife I changed and did and promoted what I was good at. I sing, am a songwriter, poet, DJ, and sometimes funny. And remix producer. When I think of those talents I am heads & tails above my contemporaries. I write a lot of poems, songs & thoughts on my Facebook.

[@francisjacquart9618]

BEFORE I COMMENT ON YOUR VIDEO, I WISH TO SPECIFY THAT I AM PARTIALLY VISUALLY IMPAIRED AND I PREFER TO WRITE IN UPPER CASE AND FOR NO OTHER REASON WHATSOEVER! NOW, I LISTENED TO ALL YOUR VIDEO AND TO HOW YOU FEEL. I AM NEARING 70, GAY LIKE YOU AND ALSO WITH VARIOUS DISEASES ALL YOUR SUFFERING IS FULLY UNDERSTANDABLE AND HAS ACTUALLY NOTHING TO DO BASICALLY WITH YOU AS A PERSON, BUT WITH THE GAY COMMUNITY AS SUCH. I AM WHITE AND HALF FRENCH, HALF SYRIO-ARGENTINE, BUT I DISCOVERED QUITE LATE, THAT I WAS NOT AS BAD-LOOKING AS I THOUGHT I WAS, WHICH PREVENTED ME FOR A VERY LONG TIME TO DARE APPROACHING THOSE WE GAY PEOPLE RATE AS HANDSOME, SEXY, ATTRACTIVE, ETC. I HAVE SPENT A LIFE TIME WITH MY GAYNESS AND I CAN NOW TELL YOU, THAT, IN SPITE OF FULLY ACCEPTING BEING WHO I AM, WARTS AND ALL, I HAVE ALWAYS FELT, THAT WE MEN, WHETHER GAY OR HETERO, NO DIFFERENCE...ARE WAY TOO OBSESSED WITH SEX AND OUR LOOKS, MUCH MORE THAN WOMEN! THAT HAS ALWAYS BOTHERED ME, ALWAYS AND I CAN EVEN TELL YOU, THAT IF THERE IS SOMETHING, THAT I HATE ABOUT US MALES, IT IS THAT! SO I DO UNDERSTAND OUR SISTERS AND HOW MANY AMONG THEM MUST BE FED UP WITH THAT TOO! WHEN I HAD MY FIRST EXPERIENCES WITH MEN, I WOULD ALSO CHOOSE VERY GOOD-LOOKING MEN AND SINCE I WAS ALSO QUITE ATTRACTIVE MYSELF, IN SPITE OF THINKING THE OPPOSITE, I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO DIFFICULTIES TO FIND PARTNERS FOR ROMANCES. THE ONLY...ENORMOUS...PROBLEM WAS THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN EXTREMELY ROMANTIC AND SEX HAS NEVER BEEN A PRIORITY FOR ME, NOT THAT I DO NOT ENJOY IT, BUT NO...I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO CONSIDER IT AS REALLY IMPORTANT IN ANY OF MY RELATIONSHIP, QUITE THE CONTRARY! UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, I WAS YOUNG AND ALL MEN I MET WERE ACTUALLY ONLY INTERESTED IN SEX WITH ME AND THAT MADE ME SUFFER ENORMOUSLY BECAUSE I REALLY FELL IN LOVE SEVERAL TIMES TILL I GOT FED UP OF THEIR SEXUAL CRAZE AND MY ROMANTIC NEEDS BEING TOTALLY DESPISED OR TRAMPLED UPON AS IF I WERE...TRASH. I JUST HATED IT! AS I ALREADY SAID, I AM NEARING MY SEVENTIES AND I CAN TELL YOU, THAT MORE THAN EVER, I DO NOW DESPISE ALL THESE MEN WHO ARE ONLY AFTER LOOKS AND SEX, ETC. I AM CERTAIN, THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE IN MY CASE SINCE I MET THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, BUT HAD TO LEAVE HIM BECAUSE OF HIS ALCOHOLISM AND TO SAVE HIS LIFE SO THAT HE UNDERSTOOD, THAT I WOULD NOT STAY WITH HIM QUIETLY TILL THE DRINK HAD DONE ITS LETHAL JOB ON HIM! AND I LEFT HIM REALLY. IT WAS AN ORDEAL FOR ME AND FOR HIM TOO BECAUSE HE THEN UNDERSTOOD WHAT HAD HAPPENED, BUT...TOO LATE! I HAD WARNED HIM BEFORE! SO YOU SEE, ALL THIS THING ABOUT LOOKS, SEX, ETC. MEAN ACTUALLY NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL BECAUSE IF IT IS NOT THE LOOKS, THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF OTHER REASONS FOR US GAY MEN TO MUTUALLY DESTROY EACH OTHER : DRUGS, ALCOHOOL, PSYSCHOLOGICAL PROBLEMS, ETC...YOU NAME THEM! AND BELIEVE ME, MOST MEN, GAY OR HETERO GO THROUGH THEM! SO WHAT HAVE I DONE TO SURVIVE UP TO MY AGE BECAUSE ABSOLUTELY NOBODY HAS EVER HELPED ME IN MY FAMILY OR IN SOCIETY AND I DID NOT FIND THERAPY THAT USEFUL THEN WHEN I LOOKED FOR HELP! WELL, I DECIDED TO HELP MYSELF ALONE AND SO I HAVE! IN SPITE OF BEING A MAN EXTREMELY PRONE TO DEPRESSION ALL MY LIFE, I DECIDED, THAT I WANTED TO CONFRONT MYSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S REALITY AND WHO WERE THEY : PEOPLE WHO HAD HAD IT MUCH, MUCH, MUCH WORSE THAN I! AND I WILL JUST SHOW YOU WHAT I SAW ON KZbin ONE DAY SINCE YOU SPEAK OF THE PAIN OF BEING UGLY AND THAT YOU THINK THAT YOU WILL NEVER FIND ANYBODY TO APPRECIATE OR VALUE WHO YOU ARE! I DON'T SAY, THAT YOU ARE WRONG, BUT NEITHER DO I SAY THAT YOU ARE RIGHT : HAVE A LOOK AT THIS VIDEO : kzbin.info/www/bejne/sInQlWeCfdCSqs0si=Oiya-XhD0I6mhkVs AND TELL ME IF YOU FIND HER REALLY UGLY OR...EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL? I DO FIND HER FANTASTIC AND SO DOES HER HUSBAND! YES...HER HUSBAND AND THEY WILL HAVE A BABY! AND LOOK AT THIS MAN : kzbin.info/www/bejne/fHe7qmdphM-mpLssi=rtWQtalZlJJ9pRAH IS NOT HIS WIFE GORGEOUS? SHE LOVES HIM AND LOVE DOES NOT SEE LOOKS ONLY, BUT ANOTHER HEART TO CARE FOR AND TO ACCOMPANY FOR THE REST OF HER OR HIS LIFE! AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, ONE DAY, I HAD THE GIGOTASTIC SURPRISE OF MY LIFE TO FIND THESE TWO GAY MEN IN LOVE AND WHAT A LOVE THAT IS! : kzbin.info/www/bejne/gYrXpKJnqbCMnbcsi=alOxLOZawSZIRBnU SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? WONDERFUL ISN'IT! AND NOW, I WILL LEAVE YOU TO LET YOU WATCH ALL THAT AND MEDITATE ON IT, BUT BEFORE I LEAVE YOU, JUST A LAST THING, YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE THE BEST LOOKING GUY IN THE WORLD, BUT IT WON'T HARM YOU AT ALL TO ALSO TRY TO IMPROVE YOUR OWN IMAGE THROUGH LOSING SOME WEIGHT AND ALSO DOING SOME OF WHAT THE OTHER BODY BEAUTIFUL CRAZY GAY GUYS DO AND YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT TO THE SAME EXTENT EITHER. JUST TO LEARN TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF ENOUGH AND TO STOP DEPENDING ON THEIR STUPID, NARROW-MINDED, ALL TOO OFTEN RACIST AND IGNORANT OPINION! YOU CAN BE YOUR BETTER SELF, SO PLEASE...DO IT! WORK ON IT AND STOP LIVING BASED UPON WHAT THE GAY COMMUNITY THINKS OF YOU OR ABOUT YOU OR YOUR LOOKS...HONNI SOIT QUI MAL Y PENSE! FUCK THE GAY COMMUNITY OR ANY PERSON THAT DISMISSES YOU! YOU HAVE A FUNDAMENTAL RIGHT TO LOVE YOURSELF AND IF OTHER PEOPLE CANNOT SEE THAT, IT IS THEIR PROBLEM...NEVER YOURS! FRANCIS, RETIRED GAY FRENCH TEACHER NEARING 70, WHO GREW UP IN AFRICA AND LOVES AND I MEAN IT...LOVES BLACK PEOPLE ( I DON'T MEAN SEXUALLY HERE, ALTHOUGH, YES I CAN BE ATTRACTED TO MEN OF ANY RACE, PROVIDED, THAT THEY ARE LOVE FIRST AND FOREMOST, BUT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR ANYONE ANYWAY!) LOVE AND TAKE CARE! LOVE YOURSELF!

[@thekajalflaneur]

Love you ❤ thankyou for being open and vulnerability. ❤

[@ameliahart5344]

You're not ugly at all, what's the important part is how you carry yourself. Be you and be confidence about it as well.

[@zachbowyer6305]

Confidence is so much more attractive than looks. Confidence makes you hot. I misunderstood a guy and thought he was gay. I crushed on him for a month before finally telling him. He told me he was straight but laughed and asked why I’d want him because he’s ugly. He’s bald, not tall, got a belly and isn’t classically handsome but his demeanor and confidence were a real turn on for me. Truthfully I still like him so much I get excited when I see him but I know it can’t happen which sucks.

[@andygeorge3833]

I always feel ugly and no one want me 😪 and its fucking disturbing everyday to ever feel like that , i want to change but i don't know how , i just want to meet people who love me as i am and in this rainbow world its real hard tho , most of time i always tell to myself that IM fine with it but deep inside me IM broken i also want to feel happiness like someone that i always watch in the internet , IM jealous to them and i can't hide that shit 😩

[@akramzain8201]

[phone]

[@Allen-w9r]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I'm sorry that you had to experience this . When I was growing up I didn't feel ugly but I didn't feel as attractive because I was so quiet and laid-back. Long behold high School hit and I hit my growth spurt the summer before 10th grade. And I came back and everybody showed me all this attention and I was so naive because I thought that I was ugly but I learned that some people will call you ugly to play on your self-esteem . When I hit 23 and came out of my shell I made it a point to always include everybody that I was around and never make nobody feel unattractive because I knew what it felt like . The same ones that were calling me ugly were now the same ones chasing me down trying to be with me. Needless to say I didn't pay them any mind because I knew their insides were ugly.

[@ismaelaguirre1946]

Im so glad that i overcome that issue alone i can't deny those things that's true i can relate 100000% when i was a teen i was the ugly one and my sisters and cousins were the hot ones, and when i had to hang out with them and when we hang out they did it with their partners and that wouldn't be a bad thing if they wouldn't made fun of me when i had to go with them,my looks were and still are an issue for me,but back then it was a living hell my family never were supportive of me at all and i was bullied a lot not only by my class mates but also by my family and also by my entire school which included teachers and the school body as well as from every partner of my sisters and on top of that my sister once denied me as her brother in high school. i felt so bad that i can't describe it, but i was still hopeful, i was wrong obviously, then after i gratuated from high school i decided to came out, thing that Im still regreting, and i decided to go out and that was my first encounter with the gay comunity and it was terrible ,but i was still hopeful, then soon after i moved to another country and i wasn't even looking for the gay comunity at all, but a workmate had a gay friend and one night they took a pic of me and the made a meme and they spread it and i was made fun of again and that was the moment that makes me realized that i was never going to be acceppted in the gay comunity, after that i started to swallow the bullet and now i feel healed because i kept them away. and at the beggining when i was a kid i used to be very gay flanboyan very sisi and after all of that Im kinda straight in terms of personality Im still gay and i will always be but i want to let that part of me behind

[@johncarter5707]

Great video. And you are AVERAGE, not ugly. There is a difference.

[@miamenseentokyo2396]

I definitely understand what you when through

[@raynaudier8622]

Just saw 50 sec of the video.. honey, you're not ugly. The people who told you that just ain't feeling you.. you need to be around the Bear/Chub community & Black bears/chubs.. There are a LOT of guys who love👅 dark-skinned chubs (www.chasabl.com, the Black bear groups, etc..). Now to watch the rest of the video📹

[@michaelmirrorcle9779]

Yeah I talk about the Bear community and all that too. Growlr and Chasabl aren't much different. Especially being black. But thanks for the feedback.

[@jimmie8101]

@@michaelmirrorcle9779 agreed.

[@TheEarthRealm]

Did you ever consider getting a nose job? They say that the nose can completely change the face. (Could make or break your appearance, honestly.)

[@MichelleNgome]

Michael doesn't need a nose job.

[@TASconfidential]

His nose is the nose he’s meant to have. Too many guys get nose jobs, and wind up looking like Tinkerbell. I won’t get into the depths of featurism here, but I will just say that suggesting that he get a nose job, speaks volumes to tour mindset. Not insulting you, but please look up featurism.

[@TheEarthRealm]

@@MichelleNgome No one _needs_ Starbucks coffee either, but it's still sensible/nice to have for some people. 🤷🏿‍♂️

[@lesterh9421]

Just watched this video, I would ask date with you. I'm gay and you look cute, kind of my type

[@carlorizzo827]

THANKU the comments perfectly affirm you look perfectly fine! Additionally an inner light emanates. Yet I totally believe the harassment you experienced. Cruelty.... Although I turned out average looking, i would never have. In my family my appearance was regularly mocked. My expressions. There was violence, i took hits all over. I can vouch for it: violence turns a person into an object, a thing. I received slaps in the face. =I was defaced. It's a miracle i leave the house without a bag over my head. I had to dissociate. I keep my mirrors covered. My Jewish friend asked me if I was in mourning. Sort of. I cannot pairbond. I envy that you were able to be sexual. I am sexual anorexic. Ugly thing to be P. S. YOU'RE DOING GREAT

[@melvonjohnson5711]

Bro fuck that, you need to embrace yourself to the fullest----I dont think anybody is ugly, it just we all have different types

[@Komega01]

they never even put me on the lists

[@ih8utbe]

Karma will get those who treat those who don't look or act like them.

[@Jacobytru]

Elementary school was the worst of all. Middle school and high school was much better.

[@Ghost-ul8eu]

I'm an unattractive gay man and it sucks. Im a white skinny fat guy with a rough looking face I have dark circles around my eyes,bad dry skin. My face doesn't look healthy at all. Im genuinely shocked some guys found me attractive at all if I don't like looking at my own face why would anybody else?

[@michaelmirrorcle9779]

It takes time to love yourself. Also, you need people around you to support and help you too. Self love isn't enough. People genuinely loving and pouring into you will help you love yourself more.

[@denim99987]

Something wrong with that teacher. How cruel to do that class looks rating thing. . Why do that? No empathy. No sense. And then to publish results. Ugh! You are fine by the way.

[@TASconfidential]

I hope you ditched those miserable friends.. they used you to feed off of their insecurities. I learned not to fool with people a looong time ago...

[@w.urlitzer1869]

Don't hate me because I am beautiful.

[@2mellow35]

I'm not even ugly I'm just black in Seattle.

[@jay-kq5kv]

I’m over I started bleaching at one point

[@andreasobuaculla9511]

Five years later,you sure aren't ugly!Kids are rotten,with the things they say,

[@jaydrianrivera1935]

Omg I want to cry🥲 you are so sweet!

[@jaydrianrivera1935]

You’re not ugly though!!!

[@taurus-astrobike104]

SUPER CUTENESS ❤HANDSOME BLACK MAN!! YOU ARE SOOOOOO FAR FROM BEING UGLY 😊... THE DARKER THE BERRY... THE SWEETER THE JUICE Y'ALL!!! YA KNOW!!! Consider What Others Say AS NOISE AND IGNORANCE... ESPECIALLY IN THE BLACK GAY COMMUNITY!!! Many A White Guy Would LOVE❤ YOU JUST AS YOU ARE!!! 🎉 YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL HANDSOME BLACK MAN YO !!!XOXO XOXO XOXO WOOOFFF

[@dantaylor4953]

Ugly? Far from it my friend!

[@PlasticRarity]

This is all great and all but??? You're not ugly???? Like you just look like a normal person. You have cute face and there's nothing wrong with your appearance at all. You're well-groomed, from what I can tell. This is purely a confidence issue.

[@dennis-qu7bs]

Pretty privilege is a thing

[@Bandido894]

You look like young Yaphet Cotto, not ugly. :)

[@ghayath2011]

I don't think you are ugly.

[@mamanandrew1722]

i always hate myself 。。 but。ah。 。。 well，。。u know

[@marywiggins2447]

Your not ugly.

[@aRcTiCbLu3]

You're not ugly, just have high body fat

[@shanesmith-vn1ri]

Lol exactly. I literally don't see the ugliness.

[@chrismnutone8421]

You are not ugly. You are just overweight. That's it, IMO.

[@Peterclarence]

My friend is gay 😡😡

[@Mcfreddo]

That's really nasty stuff you're talking about.

[@raynaudier8622]

Oops, you did get into therapy.. sorry. I kept skipping forward, 'cause, 17.5 minutes? "Ain't nobody got time for that", lol (jokin'.. kinda). No shade. I subscribed, if that matters to you. Like the content; just pare it down to a nice tight 5 minutes for the KZbin viewer (just my opinion).

[@michaelmirrorcle9779]

Definitely don't want to chop my videos down so small. People are watching more long form videos than in the past.

[@raynaudier8622]

Cool; had no idea.

[@nazm8567]

you are a cute guy 🥰

[@doodoo7207]

U are quit cute if you not fat

[@craigcole9337]

You no look ugly to me. F them that say so.

[@TheEarthRealm]

For you to be a guy, you sure cared a lot about your looks and who thought you were 'pretty' / ugly. 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@zking2929]

So men don't have self-esteem problems about their appearance? Got it ✅️