Benedict reads Nick Cave's letter about grief

In 2018, a letter was sent to Nick Cave from someone named Cynthia. It read:
I have experienced the death of my father, my sister, and my first love in the past few years and feel that I have some communication with them, mostly through dreams. They are helping me. Are you and Susie feeling that your son Arthur is with you and communicating in some way?
Arthur was Nick Cave’s late son. He died in 2015 aged fifteen. This letter was Cave’s reply, read here by Benedict Cumberbatch at Letters Live at London's Roundhouse in July 2021.

[@janettedalgliesh]

And THIS is why an AI can never create a Nick Cave song. There is something so inherently valuable in the struggle to find the right words, and it shines through.

[@redeileen369]

😭

[@hartless76]

Having recently lost his sister Benedict knows what grief feels like. He is an excellent actor, but his emotional reading of Nick Cave's letter came from his heart.

[@jamesncraigrocjames2092]

He’s an only child!

[@theak3998]

@@jamesncraigrocjames2092 a half-sister

[@r.coffman1431]

We almost all have experienced grief 🙄

[@jamshednarielwala4797]

Ppppp

[@thanatos719]

Yes, she was his much-loved half sister from his mother's first marriage.

[@lyarnes]

Very very sad, having just heard that Nick’s other son just died a few days ago. I pray he somehow, somewhere, someway finds peace.

[@lyndanixon4824]

I lost my son a year ago and slowly ever so slowly i am coming to terms with this break up.....a mother is a son's first love ,a son is a mother's last love....my darling son Alex,i keep our love alive💔

[@wholeshebang1]

My condolences on your heartbreaking loss. ❤‍🩹

[@robinr5669]

I have an only child, my son. My worst nightmare is what you are living. My heart goes out to you and I extend my condolences. We don't know each other but we do. We are mothers to sons, who we have loved. May some healing bring you comfort.

[@lyndanixon4824]

@@wholeshebang1 thank you

[@lyndanixon4824]

@@robinr5669 thank you Robin,yes it is a nightmare but life happens.At least i had the enormous pleasure of being his mum and the love DOES live on.

[@TeresaLovesRetro]

I lost my husband in November. Grief and love are intertwined. Grief, like love is non-negotiable.

[@juliaconnell]

I am so very sorry for your loss - sending much love & support your way xx

[@kmdionis]

Like @Julia Connell, I wish you love and support. One thing most of us share, if we've loved deeply, is sorrow. And grief is nothing like I expected it would be.

[@thinking102]

I’m sorry, i to lost my husband 2 yrs ago, it’s a difficult journey that you cannot get off of, but you manage to ride it out with a little less of the horrid raw sorrow with time and you learn slowly a new way of being without your love, your best friend, I won’t lie, it doesn’t leave, just lessens in its severity.

[@djanitatiana]

My daughter committed suicide this January after becoming very mentally unwell in the Australian COVID lockdowns. The grief is unbearable but there is no choice but to endure other than following her which I refuse to do, despite the attractive thought of being out of pain and guilt. However her spirit is very close. Nick wrote of his son “he may not be there” but I would think very likely he is. In our case we have had strange phenomena with birds & animals, children, objects and possessions etc etc etc. But most convincingly we have a light next to her ashes which switches on by itself constantly and at significant moments, such as return of her mother from holiday, her boyfriend visiting, her favorite music playing, and,sometimes, in response to questions. I’m a scientist to the core -trained in medicine -yet it has changed my sceptical outlook as you can imagine. So all I can say to those grieving the loss of their beloved cherished others, it doesn’t diminish the relentless pain of their absence and the diminution of your life but as Nick’s cover of Dylan says “Death is not the end” and knowing that we live on in some unknowable form can alleviate the sadness a little. I hope this brings some comfort.

[@kmdionis]

@@djanitatiana I'm amazed by how much grief we can experience and still manage to walk around. How can we still breathe. I believe the visitations are real, too. I wouldn't be much of a scientist if I denied them. Maybe someday we'll understand.

[@jeromedutil-martin6823]

«What is grief, if not love persevering?» - Vision, "Wandavision"

[@lysander1]

This line will be forgotten and overlooked as it comes from a comic book show. For me, however, it is totally and utterly profound.

[@lojain-nasser3017]

Not gonna lie i entered the comments section only to look for this comment

[@BAbhijeet]

@@lojain-nasser3017 me too bruh

[@P.M.P.181]

I stopped watching that show after the first few episodes. The notion that all of it was conjured up out of grief, she had lost so much. I cry now just thinking about it. I'm assuming this quote is taken from later in the series....

[@nancidansouis7633]

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love.” Quotes like this and the letter so beautifully read has helped me deal with grief. I lost my granddaughter a few months ago. I will never be the same but knowing the joy of loving her is something I will treasure.

[@nothanks5846]

Sending you lots of love and healing energy 🤍

[@jajagabour8150]

So sorry for your loss

[@bridgetambrose9206]

I feel your pain and your Love, I lost my granddaughter 11 years ago and the Love for her only intensifies.. Namaste 💙🌻💚

[@andorthefrost475]

My precious son is in my heart and so proud that I had the honor of being his mom ❤️

[@futures2247]

holding on and letting go the ebbing and the flowing it is always moving between us and our worlds.

[@paulhetherington1281]

My sister died last Monday. I feel numb. These words help.

[@dougkelley2781]

I’m so sorry, Paul. 💐

[@sarabourgoin4747]

I hope you can feel again. I'm sure your sister would have wanted you to live and love again. I'm sure she's watching over you now.

[@luciahoneybee]

My brother died 1 year, 5 months and 11 days ago. I felt numb for what seemed like the longest time, and I hated feeling like that, but I was told that it is part of the process. To this day, the void and the pain and even the bitterness are a big part of my life and who I am, really. Every day I think of him and every day I can't believe he's gone. You're not alone in your grief. 💛

[@sweetpotatofries99]

Grief is love that has nowhere to go. When the heart breaks, it breaks open, for it can no longer hold all the love that it used to give

[@estheroboh8098]

As they say "Grief is love with no place to go" but it's really love trapped in memories.

[@del-marmare1646]

Wow, well said.

[@IsuiGtz]

What is grief if not love persevering.

[@dlanska]

The letter was quite beautiful, despite the terrible situations that both the author and recipient faced. The empathy expressed, in the face of one's own pain, is a mark of the best that humanity can be.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

I appreciate Nick Cave more with each year that passes, for so many reasons. The first time I saw him perform live (30 years ago) there was a girl crying in the audience, so he dedicated a song to her. With all he has endured, this spirit of kindness is still very much evident in him - although now I think there are so many more of us who can see it in his words.

[@jgoldstein369]

I absolutely love this thought, that the very best in humanity can still be exhibited in moments of profound sadness. Well said, indeed.

[@daphnejames]

​@@jgoldstein369 😢😊 😢😢 2:54

[@harshitakourjohar2567]

I lost my grandma yesterday and today this appears on my homepage. This provides me comfort. I am away from family in another city and somehow the voice of Ben feels like a hug I needed.

[@dougkelley2781]

💐

[@lokiwun]

🙏

[@talkingtortoise3454]

I'm sorry, may Jesus comfort you

[@harshitakourjohar2567]

@@talkingtortoise3454 🫶🏻🫶🏻 thank you

[@emilyrose2444]

I got sent this just after my sister died last year, “into my arms” is the song we brought her to her burial with. He’s a poet alright.

[@zog6243]

❤️

[@heyheytaytay]

I think of a part from the play Rabbit's Hole where a grieving mother having lost her son compares grief to being a brick in your pocket. At some point you get used to the weight of it. When you've briefly forgotten it's there it has a way of reminding us: oh, yes, THAT. I remember that. And it's still there in my pocket.

[@62Cristoforo]

You’ll never know real grief unless you’ve truly loved someone, and someone has loved you.

[@deannilvalli6579]

Nick Cave proves again that he is a powerful poet.

[@atomoyoga]

I have lost two brothers and mom and dad. I let them go with admiration, love and joy because I understood that death is an extension of life and the other way around. When we detach from this material world and remove the fear of death, grief vanishes like a cloud in a sunny day. ❤️

[@annettereynolds7457]

Nick Cave is an utter legend. He's had a huge amount of loss in his life, and borne it with dignity and grace. I adore him.

[@rosewaite951]

I lost my son in March. This has touched on all the feelings I am having and helped me understand.

[@karenbondechek]

Sending you 💝 and support from across the internet :)

[@rosalindbarbier7670]

I wish you well

[@ritab5153]

i am so deeply sorry for your loss. May you feel his spirit in and around you.

[@MyMags8]

Nick Cave’s second son Jethro died suddenly today in Australia 😥

[@kmdionis]

Nick Cave has experienced a terrible amount of sorrow in his life. And likely more than I, a fan, could ever know. He lost his father when he was 19 or so, and now two sons. He lost a dear friend, the musician Anita Lane, a year ago. He wrote a beautiful note about Anita too on his Red Hand Files site. I'm sharing this in case someone wants to read more of what he's written. Benedict Cumberbatch's reading is stunning.

[@kmdionis]

@d R Rowland S Howard wrote some of the best songs that play in my head. Were he and Nick friends in 2009? They lost Tracy Pew too.

[@marthavillegas6250]

I love Nick Cave, thanks to Cumberbatch for this reading letter.

[@arielbaringholtz3139]

Devastated to learn yesterday that Nick lost another son, such a tragedy ,sending him and his family condolences, may he never know grief again .

[@MTMF.london]

So long as we keep loving someone, we will always be confronted with grief, as Dr CM Parkes had said 'Grief is the price we pay for love.'

[@sheilamansell5634]

Grief is always the price of admission into the house of love. I lost my wife 4 years ago. I feel broken still

[@janetbeebe6578]

I feel great empathy for those who have lost their life's love and family members. Time is abstract and grief is the marker by which our love is measured.

[@DrPatrickKingsep]

Hi, this is such a touching video. Grief is a topic that we need to talk about in society and be open to the idea that it affects people in different ways and forms. Grief and love being intertwined is profoundly true. Thankyou

[@TinkyLane.]

Nick you speak so profoundly! So beautiful! There are times I think I am going mad but my husband who passed four years ago rescues me. Peace! Another drop tear!

[@annieseaside]

My son’s oldest dearest friend committed suicide today. How or why this should have come onto my feed I do not know. I am glad to have heard this.

[@fayedeutsher9387]

My heart aches for Nick Cave and his wife - to lose 2 sons is just unfathomable i send healing love to your family 💚💚💚

[@sbmillward]

Beautiful words from the master wordsmith Nick Cave read beautifully by Benedict Cumberbatch. ❤️

[@carolking6355]

Two years and my grief has not subsided. How I wish my darling husband of 58 years would come to me in dreams.

[@Skeptimystic]

In my experience, it never subsides. It just gets softer. It recedes, only to return. I don’t think the scar it leaves ever quite heals. 😞

[@rozh55]

Don't wish too hard &it will happen.eventually

[@ErnestPiffel]

I'm so sorry Nick has to go through this yet again with another son

[@youstolethissong]

The timing of this is absolutely conducted by something otherworldly

[@lysander1]

Nick lost another son today, I understand. Such sorrow.

[@sunriseoftheheart]

Pure Beauty put into words ♥️

[@kjhardy7218]

The beauty in these few simple words are imaginable. They make the unthinkable tangible.

[@shruti5443]

Cumberbatch is truly a force of nature

[@personaldisaster444]

British accent give life to everything !! ❤️ It's on another level

[@luciadeoreo7160]

That was amazing! I’m working on my eulogy and the things that come after. I think that I’m going to have my brother read this as my eulogy. I hope it’s ok to use this…..

[@agstinacueva1673]

I read nick's letters ever so often and his writing always leaves me on edge, like his songs, on the brink of despair but craving for more. Just like life, so full of anguish but so unpredictable that you tune in again to see what's on the other side.

[@vikik897]

Such a beautiful comment...

[@Robinson8491]

Such Nick Cave, beautifully done (both Nick and Benedict)

[@dougkelley2781]

“Grief and love are intertwined.” Yes... Remember Matt Stimac. January 29, 1969 - June 5, 2022 ❤️

[@nathanmarsh3172]

I'm utterly lost for words

[@AllIsWellaus]

What a beautiful way of acknowledging the different facets of grief and not to turn away from ideas, beliefs if they help you to remember and honour your memory and yourself with them.

[@catherinereynolds9644]

Heart so heavy

[@pandoraeeris7860]

I love Nick and I love Benedict.

[@irizzhavoc1105]

I love how he read the letter.✨

[@HettiedeKorteDiplomaat]

Grief. You’ve no idea how it feels if you’ve never experienced it. The very high price of love, indeed.

[@sarahhopkinsluvscats]

These "spirits" are as real as we are.

[@heatherlastname1282]

Better now and unimaginably changed 2:33

[@alger8181]

That... helps.

[@onagoodday5557]

Cynthia's eloquent question acted to subtlety bring her wisdom to Nick and Susie, to pose the structure in the bewilderment for Nick to bound from, draw focus and express his beautiful response. This is how we grievers pass knowledge and support. Thank you Cynthia and thank you Nick, Susie and Benedict. Welcome to the club.

[@cathsalazar9930]

A great time to post this with resent mass shootings in 🇺🇸🙏

[@TheBrandiElizabeth]

There are always recent mass shootings in this country, unfortunately/obscenely

[@deescott8053]

Beautiful.

[@ericmills100]

These words from A.A. Milne (Winnie the Pooh) have brought me considerable solace over the years: "If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you."

[@FlyingLibrarian1111]

Achingly beautiful ✨🙏✨

[@lindamalone9174]

Profound.

[@its-MK...]

Heartbreaking but very appropriate to hear after the horrific events at Robb Elementary in Uvalde.

[@juliusadkinsx]

Lovely

[@carmenl163]

I am grieving the loving, trusting, innocent child I once was. She was killed by abusive parents. Only now, 50 years later, am I ready to grieve her. And it's so comforting to know she will come out on the other side with "change and growth, and redemption". Thank you, Nick.

[@samfinch7589]

Lost my wife 2 years ago . My world went dark and the light is still out . But this letter lets me know that we all suffer lose , it is a part of life .

[@brianbollard3782]

I lost my son last week and this rings so true

[@Whimsey6]

I needed this today. Thank you.

[@justufz2731]

Felt that.

[@drusilladana4184]

Yes, the opposite of love is indifference.

[@debrasmith4675]

Wow!

[@israel8847]

If there are spirits there is a God.

[@rozh55]

Of course there are spirits.Of course there is a god.I have a son in Heaven.I know stuff....❤

[@shadowjack8]

That was powerful.

[@elenirivers5205]

And now that Nick has lost yet another son, this is more poignant than ever

[@debonaire_nerd]

This isn't Benedict Cumberpatch. It's the voice in Nick's head.

[@weirdnoise11]

Beautiful

[@tm502010]

Wow!

[@BarkleyBrixton]

:0 that's so sad :(

[@mariannegeraud6318]

Wether ghost exist or not that is something I think no one will ever truly know the answer to .It matters not because this notion however bizarre, ridiculous or even freighting it might seem to some ..it is way better than the notion that after death there is nothing... nothing is such a terrible sentence for those left behind after the departure of someone we love!

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

I do not mind nothing, as long as there is not pain instead. Those I have lost live on in my memory and the things I learnt from them - and if they are anywhere now, I want them to be at peace and am grateful for what they have given me :-)

[@lynnaandrea6931]

Beautifully said and spirits of the dead do come back home to friends or family just for a short while...this is when we all should be aware of their final spiritual departure from home and loved ones and then they gradually lose their presence and become one with the Universe! Blessings to his family!

[@JBaxter-pi8oj]

Beautifully written, beautifully read. Thank you!

[@S....]

You were unable to write his surname in the title, didn't you? I know it's hard to spell, but come on...

[@ryanhall8326]

That letter is deserving of a Pulitzer price award ❤

[@benhusmann6521]

Thank you. With love, Ben

[@cynthiafentress6138]

Thank you, Nick and Benedict.

[@paulmurphy8477]

Anyone who has deeply lost knows what the craic is in this anyhow viva la nick cave

[@mummyd1990]

Lived = devil,live = evil ,God = dog .????Love = evol.We are already dead.

[@joyjones6927]

I love having power and control over other people, I mean myself. I love getting my way. Im grieving and violent because I don’t have the power and control over other people that I desire.

[@wholeshebang1]

Become a Domme.

[@TheMauf]

Christ.

[@randomobserver8168]

Damn.

[@virgoliciou5]

Empty, hollow placations.

[@michaelc9915]

What would you offer instead?

[@gentianvandewerken929]

I feel they are not ideas but heart of heart apparitions!

[@kylablackwell8599]

Oh wow, this is beautiful and Nick has articulated my thoughts eloquently…He may not be there!

[@rozh55]

Make no mistake.he will be there....

[@matthewstokes1608]

“i have overcome the world”. There is only heaven ahead for those that want it. There is only one path - one ‘man’ to follow and that’s Christ - just as we’re all told… The year is still AD - and eternity is His.

[@HunterElvis11]

💖Spirit Guides💖🌎🌍🌏

[@tereasia]

Wow, thank you

[@Kailos13]

🗣🎶🌎🙏❤️🕊👍

[@ArmelDupas]

Wow

[@judeirwin2222]

“Gyre” is pronounced with a soft “g” like “jire”. Someone should have coached him at rehearsal.

[@wholeshebang1]

I know that from reciting Jabberwocky in school.

[@marknewbold2583]

Wrong

[@renzo6490]

It is linguistically related to the word gyrate.

[@truthseeker9975]

Drivel. Sorry, but it really is. We think these kinds of words sound deep and powerful, spiritual. But they're not; at the end of the day they are meaningless. How about trusting in God?

[@Atlantya]

And how does one share the experience of God if not with words?

[@janewright2800]

If trusting in God makes you this insensitive then no thanks!🙏💚

[@twpsy634]

This is the sort of arrogance that made me lose my Christian faith,So many Christians are a million miles from the Jesus they claim to love

[@phoenixdesigns222]

😲 ANOTHER! Spiritual By~ pass this World needs Not‼️

[@hapennysparrow]

The comment trivoliazes a fathers deep pain, who is attempting to convey the unexplainable emotions he is feeling. Rather than criticize his words, maybe quietly pray to our loving heavenly father to bring Nick and his wife the comfort they need. I pray they would come to understand "That underneath are the everlasting arms." That life continues beyond the grave, and God's own Son was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. God has gone there before us. Consolations, dear Mr. and Mrs. Cave.