Our Adoption Story - God's Work in Our Lives | Ben Glass

Lessons Learned from Our Adoption Journey
In March Sandi and I went to see Steven Curtis Chapman perform in Arlington, Virginia. We first saw him perform on March 8, 202, in a concert that changed our lives forever because it set off our adoption journey. Since then we have attended over a dozen Steven Curtis Chapman events, including an outdoor concert at a drive-in movie theatre during Covid.
In a recent talk at our church, Abiding Presence Lutheran Church in Burke, I shared the story of that journey, and how our family went from “four kids and a dog” to a large family of nine children.
The Call to Adopt
I initially resisted the call, feeling that we were “filled up, too busy, and not at all qualified” to adopt. The day after our first concert I told my pastor that “I think I’ve had a “God event” and I’m not sure where that’s going to take us.
It took us to China, eighteen months later, for our first adoption trip to adopt Kevin.
Adoption and Transformation
Over the years, we made two additional adoption trips to China as we adopted Emma, Leah, and David. Leah and David were adopted on the same trip. Through this process, we initially believed we were answering a call to provide for God's children. However, as we navigated the new experience of raising children not born to us, we realized that these children were also changing us. Our journey forced us to reconsider everything we thought we knew about parenting, communication, and love.
Fundamental Lessons Learned
Through our adoption journey, we learned three fundamental lessons that reshaped our approach to life and relationships:
Understanding Fear and Shame: We realized that when people say or do things that irritate us, those behaviors are often driven by the very powerful emotions of fear and shame. Recognizing this taught us to approach, with empathy and understanding, our interactions with others today.
Control Over Responses: Life is unpredictable and often out of our control. However, we have absolute dominion over our responses to life's challenges. This lesson, emphasized by our experiences with our children and those who have supported us along this journey, has taught us the importance of controlling our responses to the challenges of life. We believe that most of what we are called to do as children of God is wrapped up in that time the moment someone says or does something that irritates or disappoints us, and our response to that adversity.
The Power of Healing Conversations: Conflict is inevitable, especially with those closest to us. Our adoption journey has underscored the importance of healing conversations, which must occur when emotions have cooled. This understanding has led us to value the timing and energy required for these discussions, challenging the notion that conflicts must be resolved immediately.
Embracing the Future
As we reflect on our adoption journey, we recognize that there is still more to learn and understand. Drawing back from the richness of our experiences, we see a future filled with both challenges and opportunities for growth. Our journey has been a testament to the idea that God uses our life's challenges to teach us, transform us, and prepare us for what lies ahead.
Conclusion
Our adoption journey has taught us about the resilience of love, the strength found in faith, and the transformative power of open hearts. These lessons have not only changed our family's DNA but have also equipped us to share our learnings with others, encouraging a broader understanding of adoption, faith, and the art of navigating life's challenges. As we continue to draw back from the masterpiece of our lives, we are reminded of the beauty in the unknown, the lessons yet to be learned, and the continued guidance of God's hand in our journey.