Best HFY Reddit Stories: We Come In Peace

[@dalemorgan8263]

We have a long tradition of fighting like hell to keep peacemakers safe.

[@Allantitan]

God now I got that song “fight like hell” stuck in my head 😂

[@John.satan.social]

Since when?

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Welp, the Xenos attacked an embassy. May the UN have mercy upon them by not releasing the US military on them. So much Dakka, so few planets to use it on.

[@Allantitan]

May god have mercy on them by not burning the Geneva Conventions checklist

[@_Its_Ya_Boy]

@@Allantitan The Geneva Convention only applies to humans 💀

[@migueldelacruz4799]

They sound like they need some freedom and by muzzle flash and orbital bombardment freedom will ring!

[@zambekiller]

​@@Allantitanwait we weren't supposed to burn it yet?

[@robertcartledge826]

No matter how much Dakka we have one universal truth remains. There is no such thing as ever being "we have enough dakka"

[@thomasschafer5939]

This entire story reminded me of "Then what happens next is your own doing ..."

[@Allantitan]

It reminded me of the saying “f$&@ around and find out” and now that I think about it I remember reading a story where that was actually the name of a human ship

[@Sanquinity]

Reminded me of another story where one single human ship was sent to the xenos. And it's name changed from "You asked for it" to "The gloves are off", to finally "So be it", all while giving the xenos the opportunity to end the conflict in between each.

[@daemonxblaze]

Hi, my name is Peace

[@KittyGamer1514]

huh

[@Gam3Crazy]

Thats hilarious

[@bioenthusiast2998]

@@KittyGamer1514 sex joke

[@KittyGamer1514]

@@bioenthusiast2998 I understood, thats just my reaction to jokes like that, just to go "HUH?"

[@raptor22o90]

I COME IN PEACE, BECAUSE THE OTHER OPINION IS YOU GONE IN PIECES

[@medical-cyanide1526]

Was momentarily expecting the battle to end with a drop ship, drop pod, or maybe even just parachutes/jump packs lowering fresh troops who the POV quickly discerns that these are the actual military, and they had simply been fighting the equivalent of riot police (although if I remember correctly there is a specific area in the marine core for the US that is entirely dedicated to the security of personal,location, and documents when the US has official government facilities abroad, like embassies.

[@JainZar1]

What you are talking about is the Marine Corps Security Force Regiment, specifically the FAST companies. Normally the DSS (Diplomatic Security Service) is the provider for embassy safety. The FAST companies would strengthen the presence in the embassy, if tensions are building.

[@Allantitan]

⁠@@JainZar1so their basically backup for the dss

[@E-N-A-R-D-L-A-V]

@@JainZar1 That is wrong. Marine Security Guard, or Marine Embassy Duty. Stationed out of Quantico, they work closely with The State Department to guard Embassies, Consulates, etc. You also see them at the White House. There is about 1800 of them, stationed in over 170 locations around the world. The Marine Corps, not the DSS, handles who gets stationed at what Embassy. It's an entire MOS, with specialized training in guard duty, tactics, and pretty much every small arm weapon system in existence. The MCSFR is an anti-terrorist unit, not a guard unit. If an Embassy is in danger, Marine Guards can NOT engage unless fired on DIRECTLY, and back-up comes from any Special Forces teams nearby.

[@E-N-A-R-D-L-A-V]

@@Allantitan No, DSS is an arm of the State Department, they guard Diplomats, diplomatic assets, deal with visas and fraud as it pertains to passports and other such documents. If you see guards with the Sec. of State or any other member of the Cabinet, that is the DSS (aside from the Vice President, who gets Secret Service guards). The DSS and MSG are not the same thing even remotely. And the DSS does NOT handle any Embassy duty. They will however, escort Dignitaries to Embassies and stay to guard said diplomats. But they are not in charge of Embassy guard duty.

[@migueldelacruz4799]

United Nations: *Stares in withered patience* Consuj Empire: "maybe they got message" United Nations: "you guys look like you need some freedom"

[@mugenokami2201]

USA: *bursts through the wall like koolaid man* you say freedom?

[@migueldelacruz4799]

@@mugenokami2201 lol fuck yeah

[@jimmyjohnjuan]

Deployment of democracy is a must

[@AkGamerRo]

Perhaps some Liber-tea as well...

[@Frost-01]

the moment he realized the drop ships were not offloading more actual combat troops but instead were offloading fire fighters, engineers, medics etc. was probably the worst possible hit to the gut he could've taken.

[@Sanquinity]

Not offloading more combat troops, while realizing that just the 1.5 platoons that were at the embassy already could have already taken over the city, but didn't, no less.

[@nocount7517]

In today's episode of _Aliens Are Idiots..._

[@Aden_III]

Nah they just think different

[@ericlondon2663]

Almost every story like these the aliens are always deeply stunted or cognitively disabled in some way.

[@Lumberjack_king]

I mean I don’t blame them for not trusting us we after all have a violent history

[@Sanquinity]

@@Aden_III It's not "different" thinking. It's propaganda. A concept all too well known by humans and still used today by most countries to some extend. It's how Hitler managed to rile up Germany to start WW2. It's how concentration camps could happen without a large part of the German general public knowing about their real purpose. It's how seemingly normal people were turned into war crime committing monsters.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Not any more than humans. We've done worse.

[@RocketWeaponsGuy]

Pre-FTL Paranoia at its finest.

[@nicholasmunroe8989]

You mean what we have? lol well right now anyway

[@iaaf_nw2367]

@@nicholasmunroe8989 yes, but the story isn't about us, or it wouldn't be HFY 😂😂

[@Lumberjack_king]

@@iaaf_nw2367i mean in this story we moved past that

[@Sanquinity]

@@Lumberjack_king I'm worried for our species if an alien species contacts us within...probably the next 50 years at least. So many of us in power are still so corrupt and paranoid that if aliens visited they would act exactly like this. And we wouldn't have a chance, just like these aliens. Because if they have the tech to travel the stars in FTL, they have tech, and thus weapons and defenses, FAR surpassing our own.

[@mia-xu7di]

In this episode, hypocrisy and thick heads

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

aka the most armies in the world.

[@alexanderrosario8569]

Alliances can backstab you but friends, friends hold loyalty and reliance on one another. The enduring empire didn't know it wasn't just poking one wolf, but rather it was toying with the entire pack 😂 Long story short. They fucked around and found out 🤣

[@SiegeTF]

Yvraine channeling the power of all the (surviving) Eldar gods to not say 'I'm peace.' In front of the Ultramarines.

[@1992jkwj]

sexjoke here

[@internetzenmaster8952]

Cegorach: _quietly rolling around on the ground laughter at the idea in Yvraine's head_

[@biggsdarklighter0473]

Oh, dropships. I expected airborne Forces in droppods, and mechanical exoskeletons without.

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

I’m surprised we didn’t have a bayonet charge 😂

[@DimitriKurkov]

The calm of man is like an armed claymore. Step on it and the result will be swift, explosive and very unstoppable.

[@robertmiller2831]

And you go in Pieces.

[@obsidian00]

HA!

[@robertmiller2831]

I can’t really take the credit. It is from the movie “I come in peace”🤷🏻‍♂️

[@jafferaxtras8061]

i was expecting it to be something like reinforcements arrive and saved the mostly injured and some dead defenders and then going full war mode on the aliens

[@ironwolfF1]

Well, that was the deal: stop attacking and withdraw and we stop killing you. OTOH, the Lappanids had decided this was a good time to...settle all past debts.

[@Stonehawk]

Yeah, like "you had your chance, you made your choice, you shat this bed and now you shall die in it."

[@boingboingresearcherph.d.2871]

Well it's the "United Nations' Embassy" they've assaulted... If it's the "United Terran Embassy",.. That could be an entire story on its own...

[@emilymiller3362]

Thank you for this it speaks to me of current world events and that sometimes we as humans still do not understand other humans until after the violance is unavoidable.

[@TheDurid1]

And sometimes we understand violence is unavoidable, even preferred to worse things.

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

@@TheDurid1 The trick is telling which events fall into which categories, which is not an easy thing to do when you're inundated with propaganda and can't tell who (if anyone) is telling the truth.

[@LegendStormcrow]

If the UN did that, imagine what the US, Mexico, or Canadians could have done.

[@iaaf_nw2367]

ah yes, Canada USA Mexico

[@LegendStormcrow]

@@iaaf_nw2367 Sorry, I'm still ticked off about Rwanda. It's hard for me to respect the UN after allowing a genocide.

[@imjang2430]

Are you saying that the north american countries are the floridas of the world?

[@LegendStormcrow]

@@imjang2430 I'm not saying they are crazy, just have disproportionately dangerous populations. For instance, Canada, despite their politeness, is full of Store brand Simo's.

[@imjang2430]

@@LegendStormcrow Sorry, i'm not familiar with that term. What is a store brand simo?

[@boingboingresearcherph.d.2871]

Morals of the story: "If the humans offered peace, take it..."

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

I must say when the smoke grenades were thrown I expected a cold hard steel bayonet charge to be shown

[@johnathanblackwell9960]

Man and here I thought operation Rolling Thunder was about to kick off.

[@Vrooto]

well luckily for the aliens americans weren't in the building or the continent would've been below sea level

[@CT-1035]

@@Vrootothe only thing left would be the embassy

[@ericlondon2663]

Attack an embassy glass a homeworld. Fair play in Stellaris LOL

[@Unacknowledged86]

I have failed every peaceful run I've attempted

[@kintsuki99]

I don't know who this Peace is but she must have a lot of fun.

[@Sinvare]

Sure they can travel across the stars and have 3 nations on our planet as allies, but we can take em.

[@konekillerking]

Well written. One issue. The Enemy general could have not heard the incoming missiles traveling at 2-3 times the speed of sound. That’s why it’s the speed of sound. The general would have heard the missiles long after they had passed his/her location. The missiles were much faster than the sound. 😅

[@victortahlor4038]

Thank you for the reading

[@bradwolf07]

Don't start none, there won't be none, SON...

[@ianpeters4365]

These are the most paranoid aliens to ever exist

[@williamfleming7558]

We come in peace but will leave you in pieces.

[@TheSolidSnakeOil]

The general at the end: Are we the baddies?

[@obsidian00]

Peace by ANY means…🤷🏾‍♂️

[@raptor22o90]

Remember, if there is no enemy's there is peace.

[@maxhax367]

I cherish the peace with all my heart. No matter how many men women and children I need to kill to keep it.

[@Vrooto]

@@raptor22o90 Remember, there is no war crimes if there isn't any witnesses.

[@marcleewinser8534]

Great Story, perfect for some RPGs! I'll say it in german: "Alter, ist das krass!"

[@uogh__c_luc_ia]

i think they came in peace

[@shaness112233]

*proportional*

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

aww... but i want to be friend with the talking space raptors/T-rexe's! well.. guess the other nations is friends so the despotic empire version have to be spanked. though their reasoning there '' there is no way that is only embassy security '' is actually a nice view of the argument why ,sure for tactical reasons you dont display your absolute best or exact numbers etc but.... displaying some of the true destructive capability or assets of your military doess help outsiders to put what you present as local security in so to speak perspective

[@Allantitan]

Give them a taste while having the rest prepare for battle

[@DreadlockHolmez]

"powerful 130mm" is a cold war tank to us.

[@Slavicplayer251]

not 130 but 103

[@nweasels]

They attacked a diplomatic mission.... those poor bastards.

[@tristanbentz224]

Reminds me of the checkpoint Charles incident if it went hot

[@nicholasmunroe8989]

So what was their tech level? Was it similar to our modern day tech?

[@MiishaKorvian]

103mm being a big gun, no body armor. Korea Vietnam 1960s cold war earth

[@nicholasmunroe8989]

@@MiishaKorvian Ah thank you

[@Noah-vc6zh]

​​​​@@MiishaKorvianstupid aliens...

[@Vrooto]

well lucky for the aliens americans weren't in the building if there was, lets just say the continent would've been below sea level.

[@GentlemanBystander]

Well, guess Wumao Dang has made its way to reddit.

[@jakevex4198]

Where is Turok when you need them

[@islemrebiai9188]

I would have enjoyed this story, but now I'm just mad at the overwhelming amounts of STUPIDITY these aliens have 😤

[@Bdady74]

Algorithm appeasement comment

[@Xel963]

Comment for the comment gods.

[@akbdawgo6396]

Kids named peace: 🤤

[@VanatorD]

💀 bro

[@johnnyrotten3175]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@lupaswolfshead9971]

hesh high explosive squash head hint hint

[@JohnTheRaeder-xf5sh]

Noice!!!

[@mikeemmons1079]

I am a simple man; I hear "United Nations" and I root for the aliens.

[@darkwater3309]

We come in peace ! Not me.... I come loud Loud moan

[@Nixonitus]

Shooting blue helmets, you say? Don't be too shocked by the number of human volunteers happy to help you out.

[@MarcZachman]

1

[@oldnick4707]

This narration, although computer-generated, is difficult to understand for me. Perhaps caused by poor sound on phone, and possibly by my being from the midwestern United States. Lol There are important words partially 'swallowed', etc. also, and the speed fluctuates too greatly.

[@Halford_Steel]

this is a real human you know right?

[@oldnick4707]

@@Halford_Steel, I didn't know this. Still don't, and this seems difficult to believe. It, (the narration), seems too uniformly constructed.

[@gamerboiiiiiii]

​@oldnick4707 well. Its a guy. So.

[@nweasels]

They attacked a diplomatic mission.... those poor bastards.