Best HFY Stories: Want Better Things

[@almar8874]

"My bedside manner is so bad that they limited my patients to virology slides and USMC marines. I think that’s actually one rung below the guys that just dissect cadavers." Hey! I know that guy.

[@Primearch-GG]

The alien definition of "play stupid games, win stupid prizes".

[@mcsleuthburgur1034]

"Always a predator, never prey" as if most of our prey couldn't kill us if we didn't have funny rocks, sticks and fire, and most carnivores more than half our size

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

Exactly. It's why I think we developed intelligence, we had to be smarter to survive.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Ya, they always forget our head can turn to look around, and our ears aren't that bad. Not to mention being in a group means more eyes watching out for predators.

[@stuartwald2395]

Cue the opening segment of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

@@davidtherwhanger6795 obviously, but it turns out intelligence is bad in the long run.

[@Mark73]

Which this alien species would probably faint if they had any understanding of.

[@merendell]

Thats your idea of a bio weapon? Let me introduce you to the kind of plague our planet shits out on its own without us messing with it.

[@Logajam.]

Remember how covid wiped out all the cats and dogs? Yeah, neither do I. It's almost as if viruses only work on a fairly specific host and only rarely jump species, let alone entirely different orders of xenobiochemistry. But just in case, we should probably start uplifting apes as a replacement for our cats and dogs. Im sure nothing bad could happen.

[@darkiee69]

Remember how pig flu jumped species?

[@TJCID22]

Or the bird flu? Or mad cow disease? Or SARS? Or...ya know, we've survived so many "apocalypses" these past 20 years it's making me question some stuff.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

True it would take quite a lot for a non-engineered disease to jump the gap between species that evolved on entirely different planets. I mean we have more DNA in common with a banana than we would with anything from their planet.

[@davidtherwhanger6795]

@@TJCID22 That's because of our advanced medical knowledge and technology right now. Look back a hundred years or so to the Spanish Influenza outbreak. That killed an estimated 50 million around the world when the world population was only 1.5 billion (a little over 3% of the world's population at the time died from that alone).

[@TJCID22]

@@davidtherwhanger6795 NO ONE EVER EXPECTS THE SPANISH INFLIENZA!!!

[@WamSUBNZ]

Wow 185k well done Net your doing great keep it up!

[@StarUnionPrime]

Cool this a bio weapon. This is a real bio weapon

[@Mark73]

_(Australian accent)_ That's not a plague. THIS is a plague.

[@Darkinu2]

Second!! ❤ Sounds like the Xenos buggered up a Bioweapon and all we got was a rash 😂😂 Edit; Even right now we're still dealing with C19 in some parts of the world. These poor aliens are about to have their own Black Death.

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Then we showed them what nature came up with, and they were terrified.

[@salathe]

Love it!

[@JohnTheRaeder-xf5sh]

Noice!!!

[@Nevir202]

Bizarre, acting like that's some extinction level threat.