Best New Conspiracy Theories of 2023

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[@brainblaze6526]

Get 50% off your first order of CookUnity meals - go to cookunity.com/brainblaze50 and use my code BRAINBLAZE50 at checkout to try them out for yourself! Thanks to CookUnity for sponsoring this video!

[@suedenim]

I don't always buy from companies that sponsor shows by bearded fact boys, but when I do, it's because their menus look unique and delicious. Looking forward to them!

[@joeycampbell940]

Your editors are getting worse by the upload.

[@philosoraptor777]

28:56 "The Blaze" huh? Not sus at all.

[@originalcaptainmoose]

Have you seen the ad for bump, I swear it’s really cocaine 😂😂😂

[@BarbaricAvatar]

New sponsors must mean the channel's doing well. Yay!

[@monterraythehomeless]

Conspiracy theorists: We never went to the moon. Also conspiracy theorists: Secret moon base

[@Rachel_M_]

Conspiracy theorists : the earth is flat and the south pole is a wall around the edge. Also conspiracy theorists : Secret Nazi antarctic UFO base.

[@Volyren]

I'm most disappointed in Alex Jones. He promised me gay snow. But I had to make my own. 400$ of sno-cone syrup and my yard is still sticky.

[@MrAdamArce]

​@Volyren don't trust the lemon snow! You're welcome

[@anna9072]

Oh, come on. You want consistency? If you can’t believe 6 new things before breakfast you’re not really trying.

[@dantemoose420]

Intellectuals: "lmao, you still believe in the moon?"

[@soulesslemming]

My brother lives in Hawaii . During the nuclear missiles incoming scare he told me everyone in his neighborhood stuffed their children into the culvert underneath the street, and were as many adults as possible thick on each end, hoping their bodies would save their children from the blast. Imagine waking up at 4 AM and going through the emotions of that.

[@MirandaBoyd-jh4sg]

For those not in the US: Yes Marjorie Taylor Greene is a real person. Yes she is really in Congress. Yes we are all ashamed. Please help us.

[@brucemangan3807]

Yes I have friends that live in her district… they hate life.. 🤦🏻‍♂️

[@misscuttlefish]

She brings Florida man energy to the north west. But not, like, the useful, creative, or benignly nutty Florida man. The "we literally have to tell people to not shoot guns at a fucking hurricane because of people like you" kinda Florida man

[@dc120188]

If "we are all ashamed" as you put it of Marjorie Taylor Greene, then explain how we feel about Bumbling Joe Biden?

[@piperbof]

@@dc120188red herring fallacy

[@j.f.fisher5318]

There were some pictures going around of the laser strikes. It definitely wasn't long exposure pictures of Falcon 9 rockets landing photoshopped over wildfires.

[@TheRealLeesyKate]

I bloody love it when Simon is forced to talk about Lord of the Rings by his writers. There are not many kinds of schadenfreude i let myself indulge in, but this feels like something minimally evil for me to cackle over delightedly.

[@MisF1998]

Next video idea: Simon talks about LoTR lore 😂

[@acmelka]

He MUST love Lord of the Rings. Seriously... what's wrong with him?

[@OnAcidTripping]

They once used the “how dare you” meme with Gandalf attire. That would’ve been perfect in this situation 😂

[@hyperliz2]

OMG ONE OF MY TOTALLY ALL-TIME FAV WORDS!!! ✓✓**SCHADENFREUDE**✓✓ ("joy at another's misfortune ") yes awesome (American English language doesn't really seem to have a word for this totally human experience) (because we're mostly self-deceived hypocrites)

[@acmelka]

@@MisF1998 i think Simon who always talks about changing his mind, and ability to change ones opinions as being good is stuck in an opinion defining me trap.

[@andreamagni8017]

I have to confess, when I heard "a beam hitting a Transformer", for a full minute I had been picturing in my head Megatron fighting in Chile.

[@djdrack4681]

Mega Tron? I've heard of Tron 2: Electric Boogalo...but Mega Tron vs. Digital Octopus? Never heard of that movie.

[@honeybadgeractual5734]

One of my favorite poets and comedians, Tim Minchin, once wrote. "Through out all of history, every mystery. Ever solved. Has turned out to be, NOT MAGIC."

[@pixpusha]

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree. Well... except science. Now that shit is 💯magic!

[@Vaeldarg]

Unfortunately, between Magicians and con artists like "psychics"/mediums/snake oil sellers, there's way too many making money off telling people otherwise.

[@bayoubilly5176]

Tim rocks. Never call a ginger a ginger!

[@justindunlap1235]

Science, it's like magic but real. We can make a hundred thousand people disappear in the blink of an eye.

[@peggywoods4327]

​@@bayoubilly5176only a ginger can call another ginger "ginger".

[@jodi_kreiner]

as someone who literally builds directed energy weapons, you absolutely *cannot* see the lasers as they propagate through the air… which is actually a huge safety concern while working with them in the lab. we had an incident where a steering lens failed & the beam ended up hitting the lab wall instead of going into the beam dump, and we didn’t know anything was wrong until the wall f*cking exploded. also, the color of what you’re hitting doesn’t matter NEARLY as much as the material it’s made out of. you put a blue piece of paper and a red piece of paper in front of a DE weapon, they’re both gonna catch on fire just the same 😂 there’s so many other things which I could say to disprove this conspiracy, but people who believe this shit tend to not appreciate actual ✨facts✨ so I won’t bother 😂

[@jpslaym0936]

Right so that doesn't preclude DEW being used in Maui which they were. Evidence? How about cars in parking lots away from combustible materials have their steel and aluminum melted completely pooling in puddles of solidified metal The amount of energy to melt most of the metal in a car is not something that a car in a parking lot will encounter.

[@quantidel]

​@@jpslaym0936oh look look we got one! hey mate you may be lost welcome to the whistler verse you are different now than you were before you knew and now you know now

[@pandoradixon377]

⁠​⁠@@jpslaym0936this has been disproven…. And has happened in plenty of places during wildfires, California and Aussie in 2018 for example. Fires get hot, like 800C on the low end, so way higher than the melting point of even pure aluminium which isn’t what’s used in cars anyway. A lot of those photos are doctored, not of the Maui fires or deliberately misleading.

[@derekstein6193]

A fun little side note: The sheer amount of atmosphere between a DEW in low orbit of Terra and its surface would absorb and scatter so much of the energy beam that you would need a dedicated, high-yield nuclear power plant attached to the DEW satellite just to supply enough power to ignite a piece of paper at sea level. Physics is a cruel bitch.

[@bayoubilly5176]

​@@jpslaym0936did you unironically... Just try to prove an obvious conspiracy on a video about stupid ppl who believe absolute nonsense? By the gods plz tell me you're trolling. If not. Seriously seek a psychologist you desperately need one.

[@waiuhaidin4295]

As an Australian, I can confirm both we are very much not real, and that we would fkn LOVE for Simon and his family to come visit! ❤

[@--enyo--]

As another Australian I can also confirm that Australia is not real.

[@user-ys4eh2yh7x]

The only thing in Australia is drop bears, snakes, spiders and salties. Never saw a single person anywhere.

[@michaeutech9201]

what a world to live in when you don't know about MTG...sounds dreamy

[@Rachel_M_]

MTG, Boebert, Gates, AOC and the squad would make a great sitcom

[@HyperWolf]

Magic The Gathering? Edit: lol, when I googled MTG conspiracy, magic the gathering also popped up, so it felt confirmed. Then he said Margaret Taylor Greene and it made more sense. No idea who that is, but google seems to want to let me know. 😂

[@ape1769]

Oh boy Simon is first hearing about Marge Taylor Green. Him and the writers could probably have a lot of fun covering her madness.

[@Im-Not-a-Dog]

That "Jewish Space Laser" bit is probably my favorite thing shes ever said.

[@tylerboothman4496]

Remember when she brought giant Hunter Biden nudes to Congress? Pepperidge Farms remembers. You think she kept them?

[@bpdmf2798]

^^^ She knew the laser was Jewish because it wore a funny little hat.

[@Lunch_Meat]

​@@bpdmf2798she watched Mel Brooks "history of the world part 1" and thought it was a documentary.

[@Uncle_Torgo]

Jewish space lasers may not actually be the stupidest thing that she has ever said. I would offer her confusion between Spanish cold soup and the Gestapo as a rival: “Not only do we have the DC jail which is the DC gulag, but now we have Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho police spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens,” she said, referring to the Democratic speaker of the House. Feb 10, 2022. Simon could do a whole show on her.

[@DeclanGaming323]

Love how script was written before Oct 4th. Simon recording mid Nov. And we're finally watching mid Dec 😅

[@EveryFairyDies]

We are an efficient team down here in the basement. We get it done! Eventually.

[@acmelka]

I had a friend who bought into the Hawaiian space laser thing. I talked him down with patience and reason. #1 was, if they wanted to burn it would have been more effective to use a can of gas.

[@jwhitely7]

Rough long beep 🫤

[@the80hdgaming]

I just thought my tinnitus was acting up... 🤷

[@GOD-8281]

​@@the80hdgamingLOL

[@stigmaoftherose]

Also unnecessarily loud compared to Simon's voice. Adjust volume based on his voice and then ear rape.

[@goosenotmaverick1156]

​@@the80hdgamingsame, it was too low frequency for mine though. I had set my phone down directly after clicking the video lol so that was surprising. 😂

[@monterraythehomeless]

That's the price you pay, it's funny and I love it

[@joemck85]

On UFO vs UAP, UFO implies that it's an actual object that's flying, like a balloon, alien spaceship or duck. UAP acknowledges that many of the weird things being reported could also be non-objects like glints of light on the windshield, a reflection of the moon viewed through some haze, etc.

[@michaelshelling8738]

Or may not be flying and instead are submerged.

[@CaseyBDook]

A duck.😂 those pilots were so stoked to get a lock on a duck! Letting that get misrepresented as aliens was definitely intentional. Wait till they lock a hummingbird. That's going to be a good alien story.

[@Im-Not-a-Dog]

I thought it meant "Unidentified Alien Pew-Pew".

[@JH-pt6ih]

So UFO is still the go to excuse when I don't get home until 4 in the morning?

[@CaseyBDook]

@JH-pt6ih UFO and/or UAP. Some combination, probably. It erupted from the ground in a flash that blinded me, and I stomped the breaks to avoid driving off the road. The next thing I know, I'm in this strange white room, and they are prodding me for what seemed like forever. It was horrifying. I left John's place at ten just like I said I would. And when I suddenly woke at 4 in the morning at the side of the road, my pants were full of shit and I knew I had been abducted again. Why do they always shit in my pants?

[@ilionreactor1079]

Only Simon would figure out how to use world-dominating mind control on HIMSELF.

[@Vinceras]

Man....I really need a shirt with Simon's face on it that says "Allegedly...in my opinion" on it. I chortle every damned time hahaha

[@marccaillotdechadbannes6249]

We all know Simon prefers conspiracies with some level of reality or at least a chance of it, so I'm a little surprised you didn't do the "where is all the glitter going" conspiracy 😂 Definitely my favorite new one!

[@CornPopsDood]

Needs an episode on Decoding.

[@Noah_E]

I had some friends put makeup with glitter in it on their necks and chest while in my Jeep junior year of college. There was still glitter in the carpet four years later after being vacuumed dozens of times.

[@zackriederer4243]

It’s being used in glitter and fart spray bombs in San Francisco because theft is so bad. No lies. kzbin.info/www/bejne/n4i6iKx9ar-qfZosi=EPeGC7tL6M8LF5GY

[@xerothedarkstar]

The fact that the foremost glitter production company refuse to reveal it's practices or procedures means they have to be consistently abusing pixies.

[@bayoubilly5176]

​@@xerothedarkstar they grind them up and breed them in cages! It's horrible. Tell the world! They use Tinkerbell like a breeding sow!

[@luckyspurs]

Kevin knowing that he's integral enough to the show to make Simon read Lord of the Rings stuff was great.

[@ThatWriterKevin]

I may or may not be a sadist

[@madalice5134]

​@@ThatWriterKevinGotta get your own back for being locked in Simon's Blazement. I respect it. 😂 Great script, Kevin. You're one of my favorite writers. ❤

[@ThatWriterKevin]

@@madalice5134Thank you, I appreciate it!

[@madalice5134]

@ThatWriterKevin Lol, I got none of the height in my family and I took the quote 'Though she be but little, she is fierce' to heart. Add my love of Alice in Wonderland to that, and you get a mad, fantasy loving gremlin with a temper. 😁

[@katdoral5277]

One of my favorite all time conspiracy stories was the FEMA death camp thing. If you dig into it the kernal of trueth was an appropriations bill that awarded the Halliburton group a contract to expand several US military bases to acccomidate a displaced civilian population in the event of a natural disaster. That was sparked after the Katrina debacle, so for a brief moment of time the US legislative body came together to actually do something about it. Several subcontractors were awarded specific portions of the contract, and at some point someone linked that construction contract with a farmer's field who was basically leasing a part of his unused land to a company that builds coffin liners (not actual coffins, but the liners to prevent the coffins from breaking up too fast in wetlands regions.). That was then also linked to a line from the X files movie that stated that FEMA had the ability to suspend the constitution (Surprise, they don't, and in fact after the movie came out they've had to hold numerous press conferences confirming that they do not, nor ever did, have the ability to suspend the constitution.).

[@christiangauthier727]

Oh! Thanks for that bit about the Congress having to make multiple Press Releases because of the X-Files Movie!

[@mrpickles2170]

I don't know about you, but I like my disaster relief facilities to have razor wire... it's was all speculation that got out control.. BUT FOR REAL YOUR GOV HATES YOU, AT BEST YOU'RE CATTLE...

[@DrDipsh1t]

I had completely forgotten about this... That's like a core memory for me coming to terms in my youth that people in general are too stupid to know what's good for them, and that I'm genuinely surprised how some people managed to survive into old age.

[@bradlevantis913]

I stumbled on that EAS vaccine conspiracy theory on a landlord tenant discussion forum. This landlord was telling his tenants that he was shutting off all the power to the building so that the test wouldn’t destroy the new building’s appliances. He also wanted his tenants who had been vaccinated to stay in their units with their phones off. Just wild to read

[@pixpusha]

I love it. 😂🤣😆

[@jpslaym0936]

I have hard time believing the vaccine theory, bc I work in development of vaccines and cant see how a medicinal product that is tested at 1000s of times during the mfg process including release testing, in process testing, incoming raw materials, 10s of thousands clinical trial members and post marketing adverse events testing. You cant just "stick something in medicine" when no one is looking. Batch records are must corroborate the processing and raw materials of vaccines as well as finished product in various temperature stress conditions (stability testing) Vaccines by leveraging the incredible power of our immune system makes it the most important human invention in history if you measure it by amount of people protected/prevented from death, and amount of pain and suffering precluded 100s of millions of humans saved from horrible deaths thru this technology

[@maledictionwolf]

3:25 so, the new conspiracy is literally just the 2006 Steven King novel Cell, where cell phones turn anyone using them during a specific signal into zombies.

[@hdfwk4wjj69wjvi8]

I mean honestly that's where a lot of conspiracy theories come from.

[@maledictionwolf]

@@hdfwk4wjj69wjvi8 my favorite is that the modern Illuminati conspiracy theory was kicked off by a comedy sex romp written by the editors of Penthouse (or it might have been Playboy? I forget which). The Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Michael Wilson and Michael Shea is a fun (and completely batshit) read, I definitely recommend it!

[@johnplaysgames3120]

That was legit the first thing I thought of too. I can't wait for the conspiracy theories about a city being put under an invisible dome, little plastic toy army men that come to life and carry out hits on people, and a demon clown who lives in the sewers.

[@cameronwilson9671]

That and the siiiiiiimpsooons

[@adammangold1392]

Haha i love when Simon goes on a 45 second rant and check the script again and is like oh

[@lynnefromthelake]

I love it more when I'm too drunk to follow along Hell.

[@jayfabe620]

I love how the schematic shown for one of the Covid nanobots was actually the schematic for the Boss Metal Zone distortion pedal.

[@paulgordon6949]

Lol. Yeah loved that one.

[@hyperliz2]

Wha?! Haha

[@nathannate9928]

I hope Simon goes to Hawaii someday because he's going to be mindblown whenever he sees snow capped Mauna Kea standing over Hilo Bay lol

[@jillbuggy25]

Where I live once had an Emergency Alert for Gotham City. 5 minutes later another alert went out to cancel it.🤣

[@joebonaiuto5554]

Last time I was on the Big Island, there were blizzard condtions in Hilo. Standing outside, in line, at the post office, in shorts and a t-shirt, and blowing snow around all of us. Of course, when we got back to the Kona side of the island, it was still 84 degrees and absolutely beautiful.

[@cornpowa]

I forget what my coworker thought was supposed to happen during the emergency broadcast test, but I do remember that she was worried enough that she wrapped her phone in foil and sat it in a microwave. I guess that somehow also protected her from everyone else's phones at work. Lol

[@bayoubilly5176]

I'm not positive I'm a biology grad who only took some physics classes. I think theoretically tinfoil would block a few signals to your phone. The microwave definitely not(fun fact they are NOT shielded. You get the same dose the food does if your standing outside it... although it's safeish heh...). But I'm almost positive wrapping it in to foil completely will block, I think your wifi. But supposition here.

[@johnplaysgames3120]

@@bayoubilly5176 Yeah. I often wear my headphones and listen to YT videos while I'm in the kitchen and whenever I run the microwave and am standing within a few feet of it with my headphones on, I can hear a relatively steady clicking in the headphones. That was when I first realized that something was happening outside of the microwave as well as in it.

[@lloydbonifide]

"...it's just a lot of show and not a lot of substance..." is a perfect description of MTG and Simon doesn't even know it!!!🤣🤣🤣

[@aethergasm]

Someone send Simon a list of the wildest sh*t Marjorie Taylor Greene has said and done! 🤣

[@cleverusername9369]

I just did, it's an abbreviated list because there's only so much time in the world, but I included Gazpacho Police, Peach-tree Dish, and screaming at the President during the SOTU, a few MTG classics.

[@christiangauthier727]

​@@cleverusername9369Are you really the 9,369th Person who came up with "CleverUserName"?!! 😂

[@cleverusername9369]

@@christiangauthier727 I feel like I was just assigned that number because it has no significance to me, so I may very well be

[@peggywoods4327]

There could be a whole new channel just for "Stupid Politician Tricks"

[@ff7omega]

Yes, it is crack

[@simonlathwell]

Merry Christmas to those poor writers chained up in the basement. I hope Simon gives you something more than Magic Spoon, the mushrooms growing in the basement, and lucky strikes cigs, and upgrades your computers from a C64. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and New Year.

[@freyadruid]

I know Kevin was just trolling Simon, but that reference wasn’t quite right: the Elves of Eregion actually forged 19 rings, but 16 were just ‘practice’ under the tutelage of Annatar (Sauron in disguise) and they were all originally intended to stay with the elves. However when Sauron later forged the one ring the elves just took theirs off, and he had to reclaim them to give to more ‘malleable’ races. Let’s all troll Simon with Tolkien correctly pls.

[@DILFDylF]

Wow. That is extremely interesting. Please, tell me more.

[@tzvikrasner6073]

Fun fact: When Tolkein first presented Lord of the Rings to the Inquelings (a prestigious Oxford writer's group still existing to this day) his fellow group members's first response was purported to be "Not more f-ing elves!"

[@chaosmarklar]

I remember when the NYC blackout of 1977 was caused by aliens so they could see how we reacted, because heat lightning on a very hot evening wasn't a good enough reason

[@KW-qd1bi]

It was satisfying to find this channel covering the Mexican mummy story. Theres so much funny Mexican content this channel could cover

[@drewrobinson5562]

My favorite on the Maui, which I'm chill too agree with, is the after math. Preventing people from coming in to see there homes or help survivor but allowing high profile rich people to come in and tell everyone to donate so they can use the time to snatch up prime land for rebuilding and profit later.

[@addhoardingprocrastinator]

not too mention so much blue amongst the burnt out landscape

[@jpslaym0936]

Dont forget cars in lots having their metal completely melted down into puddles of molten metal.

[@Vaeldarg]

@@jpslaym0936 Look up the unique weather effects that can happen within a wildfire. Fire can simply behave pretty crazy when the whole place is in flames.

[@carlgibson285]

​@@jpslaym0936 cars being reduced to puddles of molten metal isn't that unusual during wildfires since the flames can reach temperatures of up to 8000 degrees.

[@Psilomuscimol]

To​@@addhoardingprocrastinator

[@briannam3140]

“Simon’s half baked ideas about cross fit” is going to be a new ben and jerry’s flavor

[@mickiemarielove]

I'd like the first of all compliment Lorelei for all the new memes they have brought to the channel. And I'd also like to say, Simon may be the only British person that could get away with laughing at another person doing cultural appropriation.

[@EveryFairyDies]

Lorelei here, thank you! This is such a fun job.

[@CalebCarlin]

"Noise, to decoy the human voice, brain insomniac, paranoiac, endless noise."

[@ryanroberts1104]

Seems like some new memes without the stolen website name on them. Far more professional. ;)

[@benjaminforman8901]

Lorelei's metal af🤘🤘

[@MountainCry]

Speak for yourself, I am 100% here for "Simon's half-baked ideas about cross-fit."

[@christiangauthier727]

And the OGBB Guys were there for Simon's TOTALLY BAKED IDEAS back when he was walking around slapping Scripts!

[@Zaluskowsky]

It s croissants and you had 12 !!!

[@obijon7441]

Simon: "Oh i've heard of Glen Beck" Simon realising who Glen Beck is: internally screams "oh ffs, it's that ****!"

[@LadyValkyri]

"Well, shut up, that's how!" Best line EVER! 🤣🤣🤣

[@Anonymoose66]

This video came out 2 months and 11 days after it was created. Allegedly.

[@scaliedog2777]

All the legals! Now THIS is the yearly wrap-up we truly need. Thank you, Kevin and either Lorelei or Sam (and Simon too I guess)

[@andrewsisson6536]

Five minutes in and I can already tell it's Lorelei! I was afraid a different editor would mess with the balance, but she is such a great fit for the channel!

[@EveryFairyDies]

@@andrewsisson6536 Aw thanks! ~unsubtle bow~ You're great too!

[@MorbidMissMuffet]

Oh my gosh! That Randy Feltface bit!!! 😂 I just started watching his stuff, he's hilarious 😂

[@pixpusha]

It's sort of fun to hear people's imaginations have free rein. Like when (we who lived before the internet) were kids and played "house" or played with dolls.

[@philbarrett3739]

I'm still waiting for a Casual Criminalist where we explore Simon's basement 'Fritzl' style to find the conditions the writers have been kept in for years.

[@ilajoie3]

You don't want to see it, there's at least seven people chained to ETA, they finally got a toilet last week instead of the bucket, a couple of computers running windows 95, and a single bed that Danny tries to claim as his own due to seniority. They've also got one fake plant down there that Simon has convinced them provides all the oxygen necessary for their survival

[@christiangauthier727]

Yeah! They could totally film a Super Special Edition Brain Blaze Video where Simon has all of his Staff flown in to do a Mockumentary! That would be so much fun!

[@andiroodzant2384]

I was having a really rough night tonight. Thanks for helping me feel better with your soothing skepticism!

[@MrChristianDT]

Got to love going into parts of the internet for nature lovers & somehow still seeing ecological experts saying things like "Oh my God, nature is melting down & doing things neither I nor any family member I ever knew has ever seen. I know climate change isn't real, so what is causing this?"

[@stuffedninja1337]

Glad to see someone recognizing the Australiaspiracy. /s

[@TheSecretChateau]

Australia doesn't exist.

[@yeahitskimmel]

That beep could have been 1/4 as long without any loss to the joke

[@RayvenTheNight]

Dislike

[@Ubique2927]

Do those legal experts include uncle Dave’s next door neighbours aunty Doris who lives next door to a lawyers receptionist?

[@crazydinosaur8945]

yeah, and they still beat trump's legal team

[@amber_amber62]

I bet Simon doesn't even question why the emergency test was scheduled for National Taco Day. There are no coincidences.

[@dickbron1]

Let's go

[@Oroberus]

There's actually a very reliable way of checking if a business that seems sketchy is legal: The more the owner points out the legality, the more illegal it actually is

[@CogglesnatchCrumplehorn]

The entire glenn beck thing had me rolling so hard... i used to listen to that wacko... then i realized... hes a wacko... simon we need a simon whistler radio show....

[@christinebenson518]

I do miss the chalkboard of conspiracies. It was wild!

[@TheAntiburglar]

Didn't expect to see Randy Feltface in this, but here we are 😂

[@EveryFairyDies]

Randy rocks and I will always take advantage of the opportunity to reference him on this channel. 🤘

[@Bizz4r2m0ke]

Simon mentioning the basement crew so casually just confirms it even more for me.

[@Nostripe361]

I got one of those scam medical ads that are all over KZbin now and It took me a few moments to realize that it was an ad and not some weird joke. It was an ad about some magical cure for phlegm right after Simon cleared his throat.

[@PeachM0de]

This episode was brilliant. Thank you, Kevin

[@ThatWriterKevin]

You're welcome!

[@williebauld1007]

Writers and editors chained up in TangentBoi’s Blazement you say? TangentBoi: Nothing to see here, move along now….. Oh @EveryFairyDies welcome to the Blazement

[@EveryFairyDies]

Thank you! I have settled comfortably in my little corner of the Blazement.

[@williebauld1007]

@@EveryFairyDies I hope you enjoy gruel and the odd thermented magic mushroom pie that your longer captives swear by

[@DoN-xh3pd]

“Blue berries are fukin purple” 😂 I love that show

[@pixpusha]

😂🤣😅He sort of has a point. Blueberries are not blue. They're closer to black. Sure as hell not purple though.

[@Ohnoyobronoflow]

The level of culture in these memes is worthy of getting out my monocle...😂 love it!!!

[@EveryFairyDies]

Oh yes, indeed, quite quality today. ~puffs on pipe~

[@ignitionfrn2223]

0:55 - Chapter 1 - The october zombie apocalypse 1:45 - Mid roll ads 3:20 - Back to the video 10:00 - Chapter 2 - Maui's space lasers 20:50 - Chapter 3 - The mexican mummies from peru

[@Delightfully_Bitchy]

Thanks 🙂

[@pixpusha]

The Mexican mummies are my fav. That poor man's actions is just screaming for psychiatric intervention but everyone is just taking him at face value.

[@stevenotto1456]

Why so far down?

[@elfhybrid9063]

It is after 1 pm where I'm at, and I was gonna watch this video without my boyfriend (also a fan). But since you made this into a drinking game (I took it as a challenge), I had to pause this cause now this video will definitely be more fun with him.

[@EveryFairyDies]

Please report back and let me know how your hangover and livers are!

[@Luvmydeuce]

My friend was in Hawaii for his honeymoon during the missile scare, at Pearl Harbor none the less. They got escorted into a bunker to silently hope they don't die.

[@laveur]

I'm a very dedicated burner, and I can tell you that we WOULD definitely notice the effigy was on fire when it wasn't supposed to be. We have an entire crew of people that's soul job is to make sure that doesn't happen. And we only have them because of one idiot setting it on fire one year when it shouldn't have.

[@fabricdragon]

that zombie one is the plot of "Kingsmen, the secret service" and before that "Cell" by steven King

[@johnplaysgames3120]

Keep in mind that conspiracy theorists also have believed that Steven Spielberg was tasked by the government to make "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" and "E.T." in order to slowly acclimate the public to the idea that aliens are here. Pointing out that their new favorite conspiracies were plagiarized from fictional movies and books is just going to be taken as proof that people like Stephen King and Matthew Vaughn are either (a) in on it, or (b) secretly warning us. You can't win with conspiracy theorists because they're... what's the word? Oh yeah. Morons.

[@coffeejn]

If the graphene thing was true, we would have a semi cure for paralyzed people.

[@pixpusha]

And for fatness. Priorities people!!!

[@johnplaysgames3120]

@@pixpusha Look, if it doesn't grow hair or give you an erection, the public doesn't want it.

[@obijon7441]

My favourite new(or at least i've only just heard it, so it's new to me) conspiracy theory is that Bob Ross was a serial killer and the pictures he painted in his tutorials are of the locations where he buried the bodies.

[@skunkrat01]

I like this theory best

[@johnplaysgames3120]

"Let's take some phthalo blue... mix it with a little of this violet.... and paint a happy little corpse right here on the hillside... Isn't that nice?"

[@skunkrat01]

@@johnplaysgames3120 Remember there are no mistakes... Just happy, happy, happy, happy "accidents"

[@JanStrojil]

I actually met Simon once, I feel special to be in a small group of people! It was many years ago, I think he only ran something like 200 channels at that time. Those were the good old simple days of sanity.

[@angelabennett8245]

I got two microchips and a parasite. The only thing that happened to me was I felt better. I was terribly disappointed.

[@antiisocial]

Love the rectified intro Lorelei! Great script Kevin! Keep up the sarcasm! Love the sarcastic rants Simon!

[@R_SENAL]

"There's no such thing as coincidences." "Yes there are, that's why there's a name for them."

[@anna9072]

“This makes sense, except that it absolutely doesn’t.” 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks Kevin, I’ll treasure that one.

[@ultimateskillchain]

Lol yes, this is the part where I audibly giggled 😁

[@katdoral5277]

Also, pretty much everything in Austrailia would see you as, well, a tasty meat suit

[@Daniela-xy3ow]

20:01 Randy Feltface! ❤

[@goosenotmaverick1156]

He's snuck in a couple times so far I think, and I for one, LOVE IT!❤

[@durk5331]

name you a naturally blue food? Blue Corn, Blue Sausage Fruit, Blue Spirulina, Concord Grapes, the mold growth in Bleu Cheese, Blue Lobsters, Ling Cod, the powder of Blue Peas aka Blue Tea, Blue Poppies, the Indigo Milk Cap Mushroom, and there's a natural type of honey that is Actually Blue.

[@geoffreypiltz271]

Loved Kermit parodying Simon's drinking! LOL!

[@brycezannino9681]

The government changed from ufo's to " help lift the stigma around the subject and encourage whistle blowers to come forward"

[@ddirtdid]

Nice content. I've always felt compelled to pursue the greatest interests of mankind, to wit. A way to be influential, powerful and protected. always felt the need to be recognized wherever i go, not because i am proud or clamorous but because of who i am and what i represent. The inner me is gasping to find out more knowledge about the human race and about the things that not everyone is destined to know. I wish to blossom into the enlightenment that our forebears wanted so desperately for us to gain.

[@Margart526]

well i think your feeling is kinda understandable, it's really just you being human. If you really seek enlightenment you can achieve that and so much more by joining the Illuminatus Brotherhood. I know it sounds mythical, but there are a lot of ways you can actually get in

[@ddirtdid]

oh really? is it even possible to become a member? i always thought it's meant for certain people in the upper class.

[@Margart526]

yeah that's intentional, i mean that's what they actually want you to think. if you need to get more illuminated on the subject, look up Anthony Roger Szymon. Will help you get more clarity and answers.

[@ddirtdid]

That's great. Thanks so much for the reference, I just looked him up and left him a message already.

[@TheGrinningViking]

Oh Simon - legacy media doesn't do investigative journalism anymore. They do ACCESS journalism.

[@GWCEE2023]

The only problem with the false alert in Hawaii is that they didn't tell people for like a 1/2 hour or something crazy, that gave people plenty of time to freak the fuck out.

[@doclewis8927]

Since when did zombies because "controllable"? They're called MINDLESS for a reason and they're deceased!

[@Lunch_Meat]

Spoken like someone who's never dabbled in necromancy 💀

[@MattRNewcomb]

Nice to see that Simon has finally gotten around to watching Arrested Development two decades later 😂

[@darkskyinwinter]

Legacy media will ask you "How ya gonna pay for that?" when talking about publicly-funded health care. Legacy media will never report on the campaign contributions or superPAC dark money.

[@madmadmal]

I once saw a documentary about how a mummy was lost in Texas that killed people in a retirement home that was defeated by Elvis and the reincarnation of JFK. Totally true.

[@matthewhodgson7388]

Simon whistler is a 8ft green lizard who is holding the sky up while trying to convince us he is a sceptic is my person belief

[@j.p.6932]

14:41 I’ve never heard the term “legacy media”. I hear “mainstream media” or even the eye rolling “lame-stream media,” but never “legacy”.

[@gratuitouslurking8610]

It feels weird seeing it used in the descriptor only used by conspiracy crank heads, as I've seen it mostly used in the same contexts of 'mainstream media', just usually in more serious settings. TL;DR it's mostly used to describe the pre-internet giants in particular, to separate them from the rest of the 'mainstream media' that would include mostly online outlets like Buzzfeed and the like.

[@davidmcmanus9022]

I've been waiting for Simon's ad lib Bell end song to make an appearance. Finally yes.

[@HenryLoenwind]

Nothing that happens while the sun is in retrograde is a coincidence! Omg, I need a ten-minute timeout to finish laughing about the sun in retrograde. Ok, better make it 20...

[@EveryFairyDies]

I'd like to give a shout-out to my friend Bruthulu for crafting the opening of this video! ❤🤘

[@tarynebright4048]

Seeing Simon react to Marjorie Taylor Greene is pure gold

[@ultimateskillchain]

Oh, I want more. Every time I hear anything about her, it's something that makes me shake my head in disbelief *at minimum*.

[@TheEpicWolf64]

Have to thank you editor for introducing Randy Feltface in videos, binged all his stuff on YT!

[@Maven0666]

Kudos to the editor! I was laughing all through it. You have each other pegged. Go on a boat ride,then get back in that basement,motivate!

[@jajssblue]

21:55 Thank you for the Supernatural reference!

[@EveryFairyDies]

Perfect timing, doing a series rewatch and having that episode playing while editing!

[@ilajoie3]

28:50 It's good to e that clone #8 is doing so well, clone #7 was starting to look a bit worn down

[@EveryFairyDies]

Yeah, clone #7 has been... retired.

[@ilajoie3]

@@EveryFairyDies It's sad to hear that, hopefully he wasn't tossed down into the blazement for the writers to eat like clone #4 was

[@sberry80]

"Legacy media" refers to conventional media outlets like CNN, NBC, CBS, Washington Post, and so on.

[@bayoubilly5176]

Thank you for the David Mitchell clip. Him as Shakespeare is classic UK humour. He's one of my number ones. Him and Jimmy Carr.

[@pamelamays4186]

Well done Lorelei, well done.👩🏾‍🍳😙🤌🏾

[@EveryFairyDies]

Oh, please, you give me too little praise. 😁🤘

[@teschchr122]

Just what I wanted for Christmas! New conspiracy theories. How do they get SO creative?

[@DizzyedUpGirl]

Its mid December and that Zombie alert scare feels like it was 9 months ago, not two.