Bibleman - Full Armor Sequence

This is the full armor scene from the Bibleman episode, Shattering the Prince of Pride.

[@Humungulus.]

Everyone gangsta until bibleman pulls up in the shoes of peace

[@braydenbernhardt2048]

The Air Force Nazareths, if you will

[@SSJdavey]

This comment had my roaring bro 🤣🤣🤣

[@acecollinson749]

😂😂😂

[@rulondajabrey9396]

@@braydenbernhardt2048 😂😂

[@_thisiswhatyouwanted_]

them Apostle12s don't play

[@FlipsideJr]

the avengers would be undefeated if they recruited BibleMan

[@KenMasters.]

No sorcery can touch the Avengers if they did recruit Bibleman.

[@BelmontClan]

Ken Masters that would also technically mean that Dr. Strange’s powers would be rendered nullified by your logic. Strange is one of the strongest, as for Bibleman who talks you to death about bible verses

[@KenMasters.]

@@BelmontClan According to your logic: You left out Bibleman's indestructible Sword of the Spirit with his Shield of Faith that can repel and ravage all kinds of occultism including the most powerful sorcery in existence.

[@DaDualityofMan]

@@BelmontClan Ok, but why would Strange and Bibleman fight each other?

[@BelmontClan]

Kawaii Leonard were you not paying attention to the conversation?

[@sheepastley]

"Shoes of Peace?" "Helmet of salvation?" The Infinity Gauntlet has nothin on these.

[@FrozenJedi38]

Don't forget the "waist belt of Truth."

[@Camd937]

“Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:” ‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:11-17‬ ‭KJV‬‬

[@zfoxfire]

What about the codpiece of fertility?

[@hearthatbird]

@@zfoxfire Codpiece of Chastity.

[@sheepastley]

@@hearthatbird The Buttplug of Belief!

[@alliekinghorn6241]

Was beginning to think I had made this shit up in my head

[@RolandTemplar]

I could wear shoes of peace

[@tvbuu]

Straight up

[@lorikambel6052]

Same

[@timothygann9779]

Samee

[@ajiboydax]

Me too

[@pauldanner8859]

My favorite part is the weird half-assed clapping at the end of the scene

[@aaronmontalvo193]

It was so weird

[@AnalyticalMenace]

Are you kidding? This SHOW is weird.🤨

[@oldworldblu3s305]

We called that a golf clap lol

[@TallgeeseThree]

I can't stop laughing

[@Ranger1812]

It's not half-arsed.

[@duck_playz9808]

Me getting ready to go to church:

[@ericcasey7593]

Well said.

[@PAROXYSM]

@@ericcasey7593 hey, my name is Casey

[@chutindrachodi4764]

@@ericcasey7593 My friend name is casey

[@markusskagemark2918]

We're all Casey on this blessed day.

[@OfficialXeroMusic]

My name isn’t Casey, but I crave inclusion

[@SuperCaleb360]

What do you get when you mix Batman, an apostle, and a jedi? Bibleman!

[@RolandTemplar]

Well, better than koran man

[@saimsadit5046]

@@RolandTemplar excuse me ?

[@TheZamaron]

@@saimsadit5046 Let's just say Koran Man probably didn't survive his first battle, he ended up there, over there, and up there. And Torah Man probably felt being a superhero would be too expensive of an endeavor.🤣

[@lormisplayz9981]

@@RolandTemplar shut up man

[@justrenthx]

This and Carman are the two hardest things to explain to anyone who didn't grow up with them lol

[@angelicaencarnacion8029]

Carman - courtroom had me shoook as a kid 😭😭😭😭

[@Chilakilos]

😂😂😂

[@brycekrispiez714]

THIS

[@lovenxjae]

Exactlyyyy

[@PhinPhan39]

Wow! That is so true.

[@yaotzin4084]

Me: mom can we go watch end game Mom: wea already have endgame at home Me: really Mom:

[@DivShadow]

Omg I laughed harder than I should've...

[@koala.justakoala4287]

Unsparing Cat shiiit that joke was on EmKay’s r/crappyoffbrands video

[@mycomicallife]

Digitalnex I'm guessing?

[@Sir_Snek]

I think the meme is Me: mom can we go watch endgame Mom: we already have endgame at home *Endgame at home*

[@yaotzin4084]

@@Sir_Snek it was, I can't believe I messed up the meme

[@Nov-5062]

You all must agree: the design of his armor suit isn't bad at all

[@datgood121]

It gives me the george clooney/val kilmer batman vibe. He would blend in well with them

[@RolandTemplar]

@@datgood121 is pretty ok, but that abs are excessive

[@dredredredredre]

@@RolandTemplar god gave him abs

[@RolandTemplar]

@@dredredredredre maybe must give him some brains too

[@apolloefebo123456]

The design is not bad but the idea of having a bible an is just wrong lol

[@schmoobdooger7573]

Top 10 Anime Transformation Scenes

[@Fr33zy159]

Bibleman Cinematic Universe when?

[@RolandTemplar]

Against satan

[@LEGO_IndianaJones69420_]

@@RolandTemplar they should've ended the series with Bibleman and his oddly dressed companions fighting Satan himself, and then all going to heaven together

[@mpmedia6735]

@@LEGO_IndianaJones69420_ So.. they end up losing against Satan??

[@LEGO_IndianaJones69420_]

@@mpmedia6735 no, they kill Satan, and then the world ends, so they ascend to heaven without dying like Elijah

[@mpmedia6735]

@@LEGO_IndianaJones69420_ lol I knew what you meant. But usually when people say "they went to heaven" it usually implies they died.

[@josephdecasper7670]

The Drip of Prosperity.

[@snyderstan2730]

Looks like Batfleck has competition.

[@aguy7566]

snyderstan lmao

[@adamhendrickson512]

Looks like Batfleck found a colourful punching bag

[@hotdogjon6810]

Don’t you dare compare Bible man to such trash actors like Ben afleck

[@GrandMasterBruh]

@@hotdogjon6810 j

[@KenMasters.]

Bibleman is basically the opposite of Spawn.

[@dekaw9138]

Technically still on the same side

[@KenMasters.]

@@dekaw9138 A crossover between those two needs to happen! But Todd M. and Tony S. wouldn't agree on teaming them up.

[@dekaw9138]

@@KenMasters. Bible man would go well with ghost rider or the specter too

[@psyheart8593]

Spawn's opposite is Redeemer

[@KenMasters.]

@@psyheart8593 You mean Spawn's counterpart?

[@sinaibilbao]

Bibleman is my childhood yoo😂😂😂

[@aguy7566]

Weave Master for real tho😂

[@rurudtsafg]

You make me feel unholy things.🥵

[@vamps_org]

Same Haha

[@dannymedia2957]

Please remind me the channel name used to show

[@aseriesofgrunts]

damn ur childhood must've fuckin sucked

[@theTXSandman]

Oh yeah baby, this takes me back. Way back, all the way way to Sunday School. Lol

[@SuperPalamara]

I remember this, it's been 20+ years but the memory still serves. I was never really into this but my sister loved it. She's had a number of the VHS tapes. I'd be hearing it from the other room. I've seen a couple of them.

[@smileyp4535]

I think your sister may have had a little crush lol

[@firewhiz7496]

I definitely saw this as a kid, but all I can remember is that mask, his lightsaber, and being really freaked out by one of the villains.

[@lovenxjae]

I used to love watching these growing up with my uncle. Around 4-6, my uncle would record these on his hard drive and we would just watch them over and over. Looking back on these as 19 now is so amazing and this part of my childhood was one of the best ❤

[@ChriS-tz9jm]

Looks like an Avenger gosh I thought this show was so good when I was younger lol

[@RolandTemplar]

Ironically, James gunn based bibleman to make holy avenger

[@ChriS-tz9jm]

@@RolandTemplar wowww

[@RolandTemplar]

@@ChriS-tz9jm yeah, making a Christian Hero is posible, juego just look the belmont family from Castlevania

[@vamps_org]

Same hehe

[@FrozenJedi38]

Same lol but I still think its awesome in its own corny way

[@aaromotivestudio3869]

This series is corny to me now but I never got tired of this suit up scene

[@toAdmiller]

I notice that at :39 there's no armor covering his johnson...Where in heaven's name is the Codpiece of Chasitity...?

[@Bubonic32]

Codpiece of Virginity!

[@toAdmiller]

@phillydisco I also noticed that the Waistbelt of Truth is connected to his leggings by garters...looks like Bible Man is always up for a little domination...!

[@dutcherharmon7256]

Looks like it's time for a crusade boys

[@RolandTemplar]

We Will take Jerusalén

[@justzira9588]

4:00pm my favourite show on TV growing up. I also learned the full armour of God by watching it especially the last part and sword of the sprit.

[@lancasteredc7773]

My parents got me every VHS from nobleman these were legit nostalgia 😂 his plot armor was no watch not even for Batman.. thanos would try the snap but the Bible man with Gods power would keep those fingers apart enough room for the Holy Ghost and thanos would be done for… no match

[@wesleycuban8649]

And the sword of the spirit. Always loved that line

[@machinedragonnero7740]

Still one of the best and coolest armor up sequences ever. I love watching Bibleman growing up. You know if I should go find all the movies again started watching them.

[@MarkyMarc89]

⭐️ *BIBLE DUDE* ⭐️ _Matthew Isaiah Leviticus, a young janitor at Cityside Church, was mopping up a holy water spill when suddenly he slipped and was knocked unconscious. A train of high octane holy water made its way into his ear canal, making him…_ *BIBLE DUDE!!!* 🎶 *_Song plays_* 🎶 _(bible dude flying in the sky)_ *BIBLE DUDE! BIBLE DUDE!* *GETS YOU INTO A PRAYING MOOD* *HE CAN SOAR, THROUGH THE AIR* *LIKE THE RED SEA HE PARTS HIS HAIR* *LOOK OUT....* *HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* *Tonight's Episode:* "Woe to thee that spoilest and thou was not spoiled; and dealt treacherously and they dealt not treacherously with thee. Amen." _(Matthew is dusting the church when a beeper goes off)_ *Matthew/Bible Dude:* It's the boss. Good morning Jesus. *Jesus:* Sup Matthew. Here's the dealio, there's a party going down at 146 Prettybird Lane, and it's a teen party. *Matthew:* Teens you say, well that spells trouble and temptation. *Jesus:* Wait it gets heavier. These teens don't have any adult supervision there. *Matthew:* I'm on it boss. Excuse me. _(He realizes he is undressing in his costume in front of Jesus and moves out of his view)_ *Jesus:* Hey man hurry up. *Bible Dude:* I'm going as fast as I can Jesus! Cripes. _(Three teens dancing to a Christian song in a house. The song finishes and they stop and laugh together)_ *Teen #1:* Hey you guys, I know we shouldn't, but let's sneak into the Hendersons' kitchen and make candied apples. *Teen #2:* Yeah! *Teen #3:* Yo, yo, yo, I got a better idea. _(He pulls a bottle of wine from his jacket)_ *Teen #1 and 2:* Wine?! *Teen #3:* I'm starting a cool club right now, to be in it you gotta take a sip. _(Offers the bottle to Teen #2)_ Judah, you first. *Teen #2:* But I promised my prayer group I wouldn't. *Teen #1:* I'll take a sip... I'm cool. *Teen #2:* Wait... I'm cool too... I'm really cool. _(A gust of wind fills the room. The three teens look on in shock as Bible Dude leaps into the scene)_ *Teen #1, 2 and 3:* BIBLE DUDE!!! *Bible Dude:* HI TEENS! Judah before you partake of that wine, why don't you partake of this. _(Opens bible and reads from it)_ Isaiah, 30 verse 26: "The oxen likewise and the young asses that hear the ground shall eat clean provinder, which hath been winnoweth with the shovel, and with the fan." _(closes bible)_ *Teen #2:* Wow, I never thought of it like that before. I don't ever want to drink. *Teen #1:* Me neither. *Teen #3:* Wait a minute. That bible verse didn't have anything to do with drinking, it didn't even make any sense. *Bible Dude:* Not to you... Satan's best friend. See you in heaven... not. _(Teen #3 takes a drink from the bottle and spits it out)_ *Teen #3:* You turned my wine into water. I hate you Bible Dude! 😡 _(Teen #3 is struck by a bolt of lightning and is electrocuted until turning into a skeleton falling on the floor)_ ⚡️ 😵 💀 *Teen #1:* Thanks Bible Dude! *Bible Dude:* Oh I can't take credit for that. That was just.... God's love. 😊 *Teen #2:* God is so cool, and the best part is I know that he loves me even though I'm gay. _(Bible Dude gasps, and Teen #2 is then hit by lightning and turned into a skeleton)_ ⚡️ 😵 💀 *Bible Dude:* Now that was me. 😉 *Teens:* Yay!!! 😄 🎶 *LOOK OUT.... HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUDE!!!* 🎶

[@markalmodovar8503]

LMAO!!! I love this story! This puts Bibleman to shame.

[@bmoviereviews]

Wow, that might be better writing than half of these episodes.

[@simply2cheesy706]

Hoooold up it’s now “teen” not plural right? Since, ya know... *zap* *zap* ⚡️⚡️😀

[@nefertarivivi5613]

This is GOLD, dude. You should be a writer or something

[@christiansmith1661]

*God is so cool, and the best part is I know that he loves me even though I'm gay.* That and the rest of this is pure gold.

[@ethanhenrichs5677]

I always liked the older Bibleman videos. They had more work put into them and actually seemed like the 90's superhero shows, like Batman. The newer ones with the new guy and the animated ones, nah, not really.

[@igloo4306]

YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!! I need to watch this everyday!!!!! Being a Christian has its rewards and having a relationship with Jesus is the best thing ever. But nobody said it would be easy and I need MORE MOTIVATION EVERY SECOND TO KEEP MY STRENGTH IN THE LORD!!!!!!!!!

[@naomisims8975]

Same here!

[@YeeticustheMighty]

This comment feels like it belongs on a different video lol

[@beef3442]

as a christian your cringe

[@voyager141193]

Ew no go away lol

[@tykamen5588]

I lost it as soon as they said "waist belt of Truth"

[@que9621]

Avengers:End Game Bible man: Revolution

[@udoibeleme]

To me, BibleMan’s true superpower was always corniness… corniness so strong that it was even picked up by my childhood sensibilities.

[@Grace-wm8ep]

"His eyes look crazy" - my six year old daughter

[@symonetaylor9219]

Mannnnn i used to love bibleman! There was a live show in my church& my grandmother took my brother and I. Good memories 💙

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

... Can you hurry it up, Bibleman? The Fisherman is gonna kill Brock Samson!

[@thallh]

I never understood that bit in Venture Bros unfurl I remembered that bible man existed

[@cornparade6874]

The power of prayer can move mountains, Hank!

[@mistress_of_the_dark380]

Growing up with this and all I can think now is spiritual Batman 😅

[@thatoneguychad420]

I can't wait to see bibleman in the multiverse of madness.

[@ethanhenrichs5677]

He wasn't though. Missed opportunity. 😔

[@thatoneguychad420]

@@ethanhenrichs5677 :(

[@jaemelancholy1684]

Bruh if only he had a cameo after Wanda destroyed Reed Richards.

[@ethanhenrichs5677]

@@jaemelancholy1684 Yep

[@theguywithnoname1486]

He ain’t going to last long

[@marvelouspino98]

I want the rights to Bibleman and make it full blown over the top very biblical superhero show that matches the quality of early avengers movies and other tokusatsu Have it appeal to general audiences and mainly tokusatsu fans

[@stephenquintanilla6711]

What power rangers episode is this

[@darkenergy7526]

The evangelical dimension slip

[@a.g6399]

Jesus would feel cringy watching this

[@elementsarethekey9019]

A.G theres a reason why Jesus has a sense of humor and intelligence

[@Sean-ce1hu]

Elements Are the key Proof?

[@kayseek1248]

A.G no, it is the best, anything non Christian is cringy.

[@johnknight4360]

Stfu AG don’t talk about Bible man like that

[@adamhendrickson512]

@@kayseek1248 Hahaha... Awww! ok dear boy... BIBLE MAN ISHH THE BEEESSSTTT... Happy? Now, run along...

[@christiansmith1661]

Me and the boys getting ready for area 51

[@Adaeze-YAHSBRIDE]

I put on the whole armor of God in Jesus matchless name Amen.

[@NicholasJohnFilms]

I’d take Bibleman over the Avengers any day of the week (except for the Sabbath)

[@funnymime123]

I love how Bibleman steps out of the chamber and basically says "If you thought I was insane, you'd tell me, right?"

[@elnombredelarosa3167]

0:48 so even the creators realize how ridiculous he looks

[@MarkyMarc89]

*📖 BIBLE DUDE 5📖* *Announcer:* This is PAX television. Unflavored oatmeal for your eyes. _(Inside a house where Ester, Joshua, Isaiah, and Bowez are in a TV room eating popcorn)_ *Ester:* Say Joshua, this popcorn party is off the hook. *Isaiah and Bowez:* Word. _(bumps fists together)_ *Joshua:* Thanks everybody. _(Bowez wipes hands on couch)_ *Isaiah:* Hey Bowez, be careful. Don’t get your buttery fingers on Mrs. Henderson’s new sati. *Joshua:* No worries, Isaiah. I made a sati cover out of construction paper and Moses stickers. _(begins to lay creation on couch)_ *Ester:* Cool! *Bowez:* Say, I’ve got a pretty fun idea. _(grabs video game)_ *Bowez:* Why don’t we play my new video game, “Rugrats Spelling Bee”. _(Ester and Isaiah cheer with excitement)_ *Joshua:* FUUUUNNN! First, I’ll have to go get my mom. She could go check it out to see if it’s appropriate for teenagers. _(thumbs up)_ *Bowez:* That stinks. We don’t need your mom. Let’s play Rugrats. *Ester:* Bowez! Joshua’s right. Many of today’s video games are very violent and promote immoral behavior. We need to trust our parents to make our entertainment choices for us. *Bowez:* You know what? FUDGE our parents. _(Ester gasps)_ 🤭 *Bowez:* You heard me! Double fudge them! I’m playing Rugrats anyway! _(walks towards TV and begins to play video games with an evil look)_ *Bowez:* HE HE HE HA HA HA HA. 😈 Oh no! This is a job for… *BIBLE DUDE!* *🎵BIBLE DUDE THEME PLAYS🎵* *BIBLE DUDE! BIBLE DUDE!* *GETS YOU INTO A PRAYING MOOD* *HE CAN SOAR, THROUGH THE AIR* *LIKE THE RED SEA HE PARTS HIS HAIR* *LOOK OUT....* *HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* *Tonight’s Episode:* “Three thousand men of Judah went to the rock of Schechem and said to Samson, ‘Knowest thou not that the Philistines are rulers over us?’ And he found a jawbone of an ass and put forth his hand and took it. Amen” _(At church where Matthew is cleaning, and a beeping is heard)_ *Matthew/Bible Dude:* It’s the boss. Good morning, Jesus. What’s the haps? *Jesus:* ‘Sup Matthew? Here’s the dealio. There’s a couple kids playing video games right now without parental guidance. *Bible Dude:* No parental guidance? Well, that’s almost as bad as sticking a camera phone under a bathroom stall and taking a picture of a sailor on the toilet. *Jesus:* Ouu, why you be thinkin’ about that? *Bible Dude:* Oh no, it’s just I know this guy who… read about it in a magazine… that is a straight magazine... I’m on it boss! _(Back at popcorn party where Bowez is laughing at TV, playing the video game)_ *Bowez:* Haha! I feel so free! Life is for living! *Bible Dude’s voice:* No it’s not! _(Bible Dude soars outside of the house, and is seen from window)_ *All:* Bible Dude!! 😲 *Bible Dude:* HI TEENS! _(Bible Dude tries to open window, and is unsuccessful and gets angry)_ *Bible Dude:* SUGAR FOOT! _(Bible Dude soars out of view and reappears in the house with a gust of wind)_ *All:* Bible Dude!! 😲 *Bible Dude:* I spy with my little eye one teenage sinner. *Bowez:* Buzz off! 😠 *Isaiah:* _(gasps)_ He back sassed! *Bible Dude:* Bowez, but down that joy stick, and pick up the joy book. _(Bible Dude opens Bible)_ 1 Chronicles 5 Verse 8 “And Bela, the son of Azaz, the son of Shema, who dwelt in Aroer, even unto Nebo and Baal-meon went eastward and inhabited the wilderness because their cattle were multiplied in the land of the Hagarites” _(Bible Dude closes bible)_ *Ester:* I get it. What you’re saying is that many of today’s video games are very violent and promote immoral behavior. We need to trust our parents to make our entertainment choices for us. *Bible Dude:* Very good, Ester. *Ester:* That’s exactly what I was telling everyone before you arrived, Bible Dude. Word for word. (Bible Dude takes Bible and shoots electric bolts of lighting at Ester until she is only a skeleton) ⚡️⚡️😵😵💀 *Bible Dude:* God hates a brown-noser. *Bible Dude:* Bowez, since you like violent video games, perhaps you’d like to star in one. *Bowez:* Yeah! Sounds rad. *Bible Dude:* I call this one… Old testament justice. _(Bible Dude shoots electricity towards Bowez, where he dodges it and earns points as Bible Dude destroys the furniture with the electricity and aims for Bowez’s head, where it explodes, and his decapitated body falls to ground)._ 🔫⚡️😵💥 *Bible Dude:* Game over. 😉 🎶 *LOOK OUT... HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!* 🎶

[@livemorewithless7817]

Hahaha that was fun to read and was hilarious

[@wayneing]

oh there's even more

[@MarkyMarc89]

@@wayneing I have written 5 scripts. Just keep scrolling down the comment section to find them.

[@AstroManX100]

They forgot the Codpiece of Chastity! 😱

[@MarkyMarc89]

📖 *BIBLE DUDE 4* 📖 *TV Voiceover:* You're watching PAX.... And Jesus is watching you, so don't you dare turn that channel. _(Four teenagers walk into a music store)_ *Rachel:* Ohhh..... Wow! Wow, gang, CD shopping is the bomb! *All:* Yeah! *Samson:* But we gotta be careful... So much of today's music has explicit lyrics and raunchy beats- Especially hip-hop rap albums. Look how many warning labels this thing has! _(holds up CD covered with warning labels)_ *Girl:* Don't even touch it, Samson! Just walk away.... _(he is herded into a corner)_ *Boy:* Hey, here's a CD that shouldn't cause a stir: Hilary Duff live at Epcot Center! *Girl:* Awesome! White girls are the best! *Samson:* I agree, but listen up guys. I'm not sure Hilary Duff's music is appropriate for seventeen year olds. We might be too young to listen to it.... *Rachel:* Oh, don't be such a funny nutty, Samson! There aren't any warning stickers on it.... I'm sure it's fine. Let's rock! _(she holds the CD up triumphantly)_ Uh-oh! This is a job for... *BIBLE DUDE!* *🎵theme plays🎵* *BIBLE DUDE! BIBLE DUDE!* *GETS YOU INTO A PRAYING MOOD* *HE CAN SOAR, THROUGH THE AIR* *LIKE THE RED SEA HE PARTS HIS HAIR* *LOOK OUT....* *HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* *Tonight's episode:* “And it shall come to pass that every place will be where there were a thousand vines and a thousand silverlings; it shall even be for briars and thorns. Amen". (alarm goes off inside church) *Matthew/Bible Dude:* It's the boss! _(he hits a lamp near a hymn listing, it revels a television monitor)_ *Matthew:* Jesus! What's up? *Jesus:* Marie Antoinnete, Jimmy Hendrix and I were watching Shrek 2. You know, Eddie Murphy should play a donkey in all his movies, it's the only time he's funny! All right, here's the dealie-o, there's a couple of underage kids getting ready to listen to some Hilary Duff music. *Matthew:* _(gasp)_ Underage kids and Hilary Duff music! Why that combination's almost as lethal as Poppers and Polaroids! *Jesus:* What? _(Matthew stutters)_ *Matthew:* Listen, Jesus, I think this job might be too big for me, I might need some help on this one. *Jesus:* I'm already on it. I'm sending you a superhero whose specialty is straightening out the music industry. *Matthew:* _(gasp)_ You mean... *That’s right... CHOIR BOY!!!* _(Choir Boy jumps into the scene)_ *Choir Boy:* Hello, Bible Dude. *Bible Dude:* Choir Boy. *Choir Boy:* _(looks at the camera 🎥 )_ Hello, friends. I used to be a goth headbanger who was into hardcore satanic music like the Dave Matthews Band and Alicia Keyes. But then I started watching Joan of Arcadia; I saw the light and became.... Choir Boy! Now... Let's go kick some ass! _(gives Bible Dude a high five)_ _(The teenagers are still in the music store, dancing.... Pretty retardedly)_ *Rachel:* Everyone should listen to music, it's the universal language! *Bible Dude:* Yeah.... The universal language of sin! _(Bible Dude and Choir Boy come out of music bins)_ *Teens:* Bible Dude! Choir Boy! 😲 *Bible Dude and Choir Boy:* HI, KIDS! 👋 *Choir Boy:* Rachel, Hilary Duff may look innocent, but her music comes directly from Beelzebub himself! *Rachel:* What? No offense, Choir Boy, but don't you think you're overreacting just a smidge? I mean, it's just sweet little Hilary Duff! _(Bible Dude points Bible at Rachel, shooting bolts of lightning at her turning her into a skeleton that falls on the floor)_ ⚡️⚡️😵😵 💀 *Bible Dude:* Anyone else have an opinion? *Choir Boy:* Yo, kids, listen up as we drop these fresh lyrics upon you! _(he hums as Bible Dude recites)_ *Bible Dude:* From the book of Ezra, chapter 4, verse 2. "Then they came to Zerababel and said unto them, let us build with you, as you do since the days of Esherhatten, which brought us some.” _(Choir Boy is still humming)_ *Bible Dude:* I'm done. *Samson:* I get it... You're saying that if you play Hilary Duff's CD backwards, it summons the devil! *Bible Dude and Choir Boy:* EXACTLY! *Choir Boy:* Let's demonstrate! _(Choir Boy kicks Rachel's skeleton out of the way and picks up the CD, magically playing it with his fingers)_ *Choir Boy:* Here is Hilary Duff's song played forward...................... Now here's the same song in reverse...... *CD:* Redrum, redrum, your soul is mine redrum _(Satan appears in a fiery inferno)_ *Satan:* Have sex, do drugs, drop out of school! 😈 *Bible Dude:* Be gone, Satan! *Choir Boy:* Please, Bible Dude, might I have the pleasure of smiting him? _(Choir Boy picks up a few CDs and throws them at Satan; Bible Dude stops him on the third CD)_ *Bible Dude:* Wait, that's Amy Grant. *Choir Boy:* Oh. _(the fifth CD nails Satan in the head and he disappears)_ *Choir Boy:* Well kids, I hope you've learned your lesson. *Girl:* I did. Hilary Duff’s music kills the people you love! *Bible Dude and Choir Boy:* RIGHT, BYE! 🎶 *LOOK OUT... HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* 🎶

[@pugjuggler]

based

[@shawnsolo5572]

this is the longest post ive ever seen. thats awesome! im serious. are there bible man memes ? there should be !

[@ZephSpiral]

You're amazing

[@MarkyMarc89]

Shawn Solo During this long pandemic as you can see I made a 5 Bible Dude sequel scripts.

[@vamps_org]

Omg I'm crying right now lmao

[@dominicr1173]

Better than any iron mans suit ups

[@liamdulson9329]

🤣🤣

[@elias8294]

lowkey he looks like a mortal kombat character

[@blessedrichboi]

Bibleman was going hard bruh

[@TryItWithRanch]

This dude is a paladin with all legendary gear

[@marrtenk]

This randomly popped in my head

[@FrozenJedi38]

Same my church was talking about the armor of God and this popped into my head lol

[@marrtenk]

@@FrozenJedi38 I really me and my brother used to watch it in my grandmas room

[@FrozenJedi38]

@@marrtenk that's funny cuz me and my older brother used to do the same thing lol but most of the time we watched it at home

[@marrtenk]

@@FrozenJedi38 bruh that’s a whole vibe

[@FrozenJedi38]

@@marrtenk fr lmbo

[@badawg123]

It’s forgotten shows likes these that keep me going.

[@skyyexplainsitall]

I remember we had all the Bibleman VHS tapes growing up 😂😂😂

[@joeo2533]

Nah I watched episodes in one of only 2 channels that aired in my place growing up.

[@Zenotron]

Don't claim to be a tokusatsu fan if you never watched this series.

[@FTChomp9980]

I get that reference!

[@forgottenhope26]

Every now and then I remember that Bibleman had a henshin, and it never fails to make me smile

[@JonClarkMusic]

My favorite bibleman moment is when he said the N-word at Applebee’s

[@SuperPalamara]

When?

[@joebobjones2238]

Was that when Bibleman's Grindr hookup didn't show?

[@oreocookie1331]

The only super hero who could legitimately beat prime Goku.

[@RealCoolstriker64]

This common section takes on a whole new energy if you pretend that all these jokes are serious statements, made by Christian moms on Facebook

[@JB4Fitness]

My only problem with this is that he’s suiting up with his lab coat still on

[@westonross7411]

It feels like someone somewhere said, what if Batman was Christian? And that’s how this show happened

[@Dim4323]

Thats what you call Dress to impress

[@josephmother6822]

Unironically better than Marvel stage 4

[@MarkyMarc89]

⭐️ *BIBLE DUDE 2* ⭐️ _(At Cityside High School)_ *Coach:* Hey team, listen up! You gotta be bigger and thicker and longer than your opponent! You've got to ram! Ram! Ram the other guy! You've got to be hot, hard and ready to spurt forward! Alright let's hit the showers. *Student #1:* But coach, we haven't even practiced yet. *Coach:* Alright alright. Let's ah go out and toss a ball around for 20 minutes… *_AND THEN I WANNA SEE SOME SERIOUS SOAPING ACTION IN THAT SHOWER! MOVE!_* _(Student #3 is sitting down using his computer)_ *Student #2:* Judas, you heard Coach Nuts talk, lets go. *Student #4:* What are you doing? *Student #3:* None of your beeswax! *Student #5:* Hey watch your language. *Student #3:* Ah, poo on you! *Student #1:* Oh no. Judas is downloading music off the internet. _(All students gasp)_ *Student #4:* Hey bro, that's illegal. *Student #2:* And a sin. *Student #3:* Big fat stinkin' deelio! Who's gonna stop me? How about someone named... *BIBLE DUDE!* 🎶 *_Song plays_* 🎶 *BIBLE DUDE! BIBLE DUDE!* *GETS YOU INTO A PRAYING MOOD* *HE CAN SOAR, THROUGH THE AIR* *LIKE THE RED SEA HE PARTS HIS HAIR* *LOOK OUT....* *HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* *Tonight's Episode:* Ye shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, scalded out into the cup of his indignation; and ye shall be tormented with fire and brimstone, and ye shall have no rest day or night. Lo the smoke of thine torment shall ascendeth up forever and ever. Amen! _(Matthew/Bible Dude is dusting in the church when beeper goes off)_ *Matthew:* It's the boss! Good morning Jesus. *Jesus:* Sup Matthew. I gotta make this quick because I'm in a hotel in Miami shooting a video with Jay Zee. Featuring Shante. Featuring Snoop Doggy Dog. Featuring- *Matthew:* Ahhh, I don't listen to black music... except Hootie & The Blowfish. How may I be of service today Jesus? *Jesus:* There's a kid stealing music off the net. *Matthew:* Downloading music. That's almost as bad as lusting after another man while shamefully spilling your seed. *Jesus:* Damn! I don't wanna hear your stuff man! *Matthew:* It's not me I h- h- have a friend…Anyway, bye. _(Back at the High School)_ *Student #5:* Judas, I don't mean to judge you les I'd be judged. But you're a dirty downloading music thief who's going straight to Hell! *All Students:* YEAH! *Student #3:* But wait, but didn't Jesus share loafs and fishes? *All Students:* Yeah. *Student #3:* Well these 20,000 songs on my laptop are like food for the ears. *Student #1:* Gosh. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind a free copy of that new Amy Grant CD. *Student #3:* _(Judas gets ready to click on the downloading button)_ Here we go. *Bible Dude:* WAIT! _(Bible Dude comes out of the locker)_ *Bible Dude:* Right over here kids. *All Students:* BIBLE DUDE! 😲 *Bible Dude:* _(Holds stained underwear hung from the locker)_ Someone needs to wash these like, yesterday. *Bible Dude:* Judas, before you download that free song, why don't you upload this. _(Opens bible)_ From the book of Ruth. And the Lord said unto her, "Where hast thou gleaned today? and where wroughtest thou? blessed be he that did take knowledge of thee." and Ruth said, "the man's name of who I wroughtest today is Boaz." _(Closes bible)_ *Student #5:* I get it Bible Dude. You're saying that music piracy threatens the global economy. *Student #4:* Yeah, and governments can't prompt this critical asset to be devalued. *Bible Dude:* Exactly. *Student #3:* And gee, You know what else? YOU'RE ALL CRAZY! I'M NOT GIVING UP MY FREE MUSIC FOR NO ONE! NO WAY, NO HOW!!! 😡 _(Bible Dude points his Bible at Judas and shoots lightning bolts until he's a skeleton and falls on the floor)_ ⚡️⚡️😵💀 *Bible Dude:* ...File corrupted. 😉 _(Coach enters the locker room)_ *Coach:* Hey, I was gonna watch that kid shower. _(Bible Dude gasps and points Bible at the coach.)_ *Coach:* Wait Wait Wait! I'm not gay, I'm a pedophile, there's a difference. *Bible Dude:* Well, if it's good enough for the pope it's good enough for me. 😉 *Bible Dude:* Goodbye everybody!!! *Everyone:* BYE BIBLE DUDE! 🎶 *LOOK OUT... HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* 🎶

[@msalmodovar1]

Ha ha! Somebody should make this an actual series.

[@RolandTemplar]

Lol

[@mercedesmarton3768]

Are you one of the God awful movie guys? If not you should join their podcast!!!!! Best read today!!! Onward Tali-ho

[@gabrielwooldrik8630]

Whatever this is I want more of it

[@MarkyMarc89]

🎄 *BIBLE DUDE 3* 🎄 *Mother:* _(hands present to her husband)_ Merry Christmas, my husband, my shepherd. *Father:* Merry Christmas, my wife, my sheep. And Lia... Do you like your present? *Lia:* Oh, it's just what I prayed for. A 'Stone the Sinner' board game! *Father:* And Caleb, how 'bout you? Do you like that nifty new sweater vest? *Caleb:* I'm as happy as King Solemn. I love it! _(in his head: I asked for a GREEN sweater vest, not a brown one. I don't mean to complain, but I look better in green... better in green... better in green...)_ 😔 *Uh oh! This looks like a job for BIBLE DUDE!* 🎶 *_Theme Song plays_* 🎶 *BIBLE DUDE! BIBLE DUDE!* *GETS YOU INTO A PRAYING MOOD* *HE CAN SOAR, THROUGH THE AIR* *LIKE THE RED SEA HE PARTS HIS HAIR* *LOOK OUT....* *HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* *Bible Dude:* _(in church, putting together a Christmas figurine with a baby Jesus and wise men. Buzzer goes off)_ It's the boss! *Jesus:* _(in Heaven)_ What's happening Matthew? *Bible Dude:* Happy birthday, Jesus. *Jesus:* So, what'd you get me? *Bible Dude:* My eternal love and devotion. *Jesus:* Aweee Sh-- Man, I was hopin' for an XBox. You know, the graphics on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater are awesome. *President Lincoln:* Hey birthday boy, we're out of ice. *Jesus:* _(makes ice appear in bucket)_ So, here's the deal, man. There's a kid on Magnolia Street that wants a different color sweater vest. *Bible Dude:* Coveting another color. That's almost as bad as one man laying down with another. *Jesus:* Whoa, whoa. Easy, bro. *Egyptian Princess:* _(walks with present)_ Jesus, I brought you something. *Jesus:* It's a George Foreman Grill. I don't want it. _(Now, back at the families house, the family is playing 'Stone the Sinner')_ *Lia:* Awe, snickerdoodle! I landed on baring false witness against thy neighbor! *Mother & Father:* Stone the sinner! _(they angrily begin to throw large stones at Lia)_ *Lia:* Owww. _(tries to protect herself)_ *Father:* Caleb, you didn't stone your sister. What's wrong? *Caleb:* NOTHING! 😠 *Bible Dude:* _(in the background)_ Liar! _(Everyone looks one way, expecting Bible Dude but Bible Dude jumps in the other side)_ *Bible Dude:* Over here, folks. *Whole Family:* BIBLE DUDE!! *Bible Dude:* Caleb, are you sure there isn't something you'd like to tell your parents about the color of your sweater vest? *Caleb:* No, everything's perfect. Brown's my favorite color. *Bible Dude:* Careful, fibbing buys you a first class ticket on Satan's bad time train. But, I've got a ticket to the truth. _(opens Bible)_ 1 Chronicles six, verse eleven: "And Azariah beget Amariah, and Amariah beget Ahitub, and Ahitub beget Zadok, and Zadok beget Shallum, and Shallum beget Hilkiah, and Hilkiah beget Phinehas, and Phinehas beget Abishua." _(closes Bible)_ *Caleb:* Wait, I get it. You're saying the real spirit of Christmas isn't about what color sweater vest you beget. It's about God's love that you be gettin'. *Bible Dude:* Exactly. *Lia:* Bible Dude, how did you know about the sweater vest? *Bible Dude:* I see you when your sleeping. I know when you're awake. *Mother:* Just like Santa Clause. _(Bible Dude points Bible at the mother, where big bolts of lightning strike her, turning her into only a skeleton)_ ⚡️ 😵😵😵 💀 *Lia:* _(stands up)_ Now we don't have a mom! *Father:* Don't worry, Lia. This is God's way of opening the door to my alternative lifestyle. I'm going to marry my golfing buddy, Carl. _(Bible Dude gasps and Lia ducks down so that Bible Dude can electrocute the Father, turning him into a skeleton)_ ⚡️ 😵😵😵 💀 *Bible Dude:* MERRY CHRISTMAS! 😁 🎶 *LOOK OUT... HERE COMES THE BIBLE DUUUUDE!!!* 🎶

[@sammywestenberger9303]

BibleGirl: Partners!

[@ayoutubechannel6918]

Brings tears to my eyes... tears of joy

[@BiggieSmokes187]

im crying too but instead of tears of joy its Tears of cringe and suffering

[@I-speak-U-shut-it]

@@BiggieSmokes187 Same🤣

[@zachwhitesides6154]

this has got to be the most inefficient transformation out there cuz imagine if someone were to break in and he didn't have the suit on its the exact same time length every single suit up too its honestly trash he should've made his suit out of nanotech

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

The suit probably is Nanotech, it just needs the big stupid machine to build it and take it apart. My gripe is why does it have to be built piece-by-piece? I know each piece has a different name, but so do the suits of every single version of Kamen Rider, and they don't have to announce every individual part before putting it on, unless its for a form change I guess...

[@RolandTemplar]

@@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225 u rigth

[@orange_turtle3412]

Why…wh…w..w. Why does his design look…actually really good. How…

[@emnicole9415]

nobody believes me when i mention bibleman and now i have confirmation that it was NOT a fever dream lmaooo - love a person who is deconstructing their religious trauma

[@Dekunut.6260]

Man, the new Kamen Rider looks great!

[@hughmongoose8966]

Henshin! Change Bibleman!

[@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225]

@@Dekunut.6260 Really putting the _cross_ in the Cross of Fire!

[@Jason-cl7jy]

It's thanos

[@FTChomp9980]

The show might have sucked but hey I would give Bibleman this the suit design is awesome!

[@martin9707]

The authors probably loved glue sniffing

[@Helmetfox]

for years in my childhood this is all i was allowed to watch

[@leightonpetty4817]

Tag your friends I’m “Shoes of Truth”

[@JarvisBaileyVA]

They're called the shoes of peace because it quite peaceful once Bibleman curb stomps his enemies.

[@oldworldblu3s305]

Now all we’re missing is Quran man . His power spontaneous combustion

[@bloodhound2995]

Abrahamic league Hebrew man, bible man, Quran man

[@oldworldblu3s305]

@@bloodhound2995 Hebrew man with his ninja Death Star of David’s and Hindu man who just brought some cupcakes and is a pretty chill dude

[@todd2.08]

@@oldworldblu3s305 he also doesn’t poo in the loo

[@bradgroves2000]

Why did his suite look so good I remember it looking cool came back to see shits not bad👌😂

[@graograman1000]

And the codpiece of chastity!

[@jops1513]

learning that this wasn't made by some teenage shitlords with a bunch of money was a moment of derealization for me

[@idontlikethis3906]

BEST SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER

[@RolandTemplar]

Really?

[@deco7217]

ITS MORPHIN' TIME! GO GO BIBLE RANGERS

[@palblue]

Bruh that armor materializing on to bible man looks like a power rangers morph

[@razvandobos9759]

Batman+Power Ranger+Luke Skywalker= Bibleman

[@JesusPerez-vx5hd]

You knew it was a good day at the kids service on a Saturday night when Bibleman was being played instead of an actual lesson. Even the adults were like “yeah I got nothing tonight let’s just play an episode of bibleman.”

[@TheDecentt]

You’d better be praying to god this man doesn’t send you to meet him

[@julianhermanubis6800]

Bibleman must now face his greatest enemy, Fat Sarcastic Fedora-Wesring Reddit Atheist.

[@levlarl1463]

I have one thing I would change: Call it "The Sword of the Lord".

[@omikronairsoft6037]

God bless you bro!!

[@jakewilson910]

I love Bibleman!!! He's cool!!!

[@dmace81]

Where's Teddy rubskin when u need him to repeat this while it plays.

[@RolandTemplar]

XD

[@FLYNCHShell]

It feels weird that it's been almost 30 years since it was out and I watch it when I was 4 in 2004

[@beef3442]

We need a anime adaptation of this.

[@Normantheman007]

Oh boy, let me tell you. There is one alredy

[@beef3442]

@joshtyler1300 ah yes let’s ruin it by giving it good animation

[@adoor3760]

I love how they don't say "Sabatons of Peace" or "Boots of Peace", it's "Shoes of Peace", like they're just some fuckin' Adidas.

[@shawneldridge4465]

Now this is one show I actually miss watching, it should have stayed on longer than it did.

[@mellonhead9568]

i loved watching this as a kid!!!

[@myleslaird]

It was a great show

[@kaylynndaniel1295]

I thought this was a childhood fever dream! I can't believe it's real omg!