Big Train - Join The Army

Got no opinions of your own, can't hack it in the real world, then join the army!

[@DaveSvedberg]

That punchline really bowled me over, good thing it wasn't in the video description or I'd have seen it coming a mile off.

[@tadhglattimore2439]

Nailed it

[@Plethorality]

Blew.

[@user-kk4zw5jo4t]

​@@Plethorality Erm, no. Bowled.

[@nickchambers3935]

What I like is that Arthur Matthews hardly appears in Big Train apart from this sketch, meaning they brought him in for the day just to shout I HATE YOU at Kevin Eldon

[@trollgage]

And it's the least, in my opinion, convincing part of it.

[@jamesmullen3601]

@@trollgage Is that really your opinion, or are you just trying to pass it off as your own?

[@nickchambers3935]

@@trollgage But it's not meant to be convincing is it? The humour comes from the fact that the conversation starts out natural but slowly turns increasingly absurd with their reactions way out of proportion with what he said

[@altar7885]

Kevin Eldon is so good at trying not to look embarrassed

[@JeroenDStout]

In a parallel universe, this is actually a Limmy sketch

[@sratus]

Or in this universe where Limmy just seen it and it influenced the kind of stuff he did.

[@NxDoyle]

Arthur is the real star of this sketch. "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU BOLLOCKS!'' makes me crack up.

[@WhiskeyGulf71]

You find it funny because you are a horrible C U next Tuesday.

[@TheMikeleen]

Totally..YOU CLOWN! Cracks me up

[@rw2266]

I hate you!!!!

[@trollgage]

Come on, it's the weak point.

[@McSuperfly101]

This is the problem with Facebook and social media in general.

[@60s70s80s90smusic]

im from canada and typed in join the army for my own research and this came up its pretty funny never seen or heard of this tv show in my life

[@sumoni]

The part that killed me was the guy screeching, "I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! YOU CLOWN!!"

[@illiteratethug3305]

+sumoni It was, "I hate you, you bollocks"

[@Microtherion]

I think that's deliberate - the guy who might be joining the army is presented as more sympathetic than the other characters, just a bit 'clueless'. The others are portrayed as shrewd but slightly 'up themselves'. What makes Matthews' role memorable is that he's laughing at the same time as shouting 'I hate you'. Again, the sneering, self-righteous but witty type...

[@Jegarduk]

@@Picnicl it’s supposed to be ludicrously over the top. This skit isn’t about the army at all, that punchline is just a way to end the sketch. The comedy in this sketch is there’s an opinion that is respectfully and sagely agreed with - then when passed off by someone else (expecting a similar reaction) everyone shoots him down to a Ridiculous degree (“I HATE you!!!”) etc

[@Picnicl]

@@Jegarduk Looks like I had a blind spot 2 years ago - I've now deleted my missing the point comment

[@Jegarduk]

@@Picnicl Ha! well to be fair, while funny it's a muddled sketch, the point of it isn't very clear

[@BazColne]

It's not simply the great humour of the writing and directing, these people are all superb at what they do.

[@Stillbornone]

This is one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Ever. The way you can still hear him screaming "I HATE you!!" even when the noise drowns out at the end.

[@alzeNL]

Simon Pegg's opening statement seems to be Bournemouth Councils attitude to building cyclelanes rather than resurfacing the roads.

[@Osafune2]

"How do you get around? DO YOU FLY?!"

[@iliketha]

i agree this shouldn't be titled as it is, because it gives away the ending

[@vordman]

This is the greatest sketch ever. How ever many times I watch it I always laugh.

[@louisgardner5580]

I clicked on this half arsed and didn't really read the title or description , glad for this to have be for me

[@hailboognish]

the way matthews furrows his brow at eldon's suggestion is absolutely perfect

[@Craig-wp3pz]

2023, and this hits HARD! 🤦‍♂️⛽ 🛢🛑

[@BlackRoseRX7]

omygod the ending to this sketch is absolute class.

[@stuffedmannequin]

Can't we all just get along? I enjoy Big Train, Blackadder, Spaced and whatnot.

[@Destro7000]

"PLUuuUTION?!"

[@peterdavies2960]

No matter what show Mark Heap’s in, I’ll always remember him as Jim, just like how I’ll remember Dan Aykroyd as Elwood 😂

[@davidbrianfisher]

Haha this is a classic thanks for posting id not seen it in years and forgotten all about it! One of my faves and i enjoyed the sketch where he takes a questionare and gets taken to a cellar to some weird ceremony but cant find it anywhere :-).

[@meu02136]

Anyone else find it funny that the whole point of the sketch is people passing opinions off as their own, and almost all the comments on the video are exactly that? If someone has already said this then I suppose that makes the point even more valid.

[@billybones6137]

The first 25 seconds is Twitter in a nutshell.

[@Shaunography]

The name of the sketch is "opinions," thus is what you should name the video

[@brettriverboat9920]

Haha i love the shake of head at 0:39

[@salvadormarley]

He's a brilliant comedy actor.

[@mouthghost6529]

YOU BOLLOCKS, YOU BOLLOCKS

[@Walking376]

This might be one of the funniest things I've ever watched

[@trollgage]

Because that knob said bollocks?....bollocks.

[@philipditchfield439]

do I detect a slight contradiction between 0.52 (can't get around without a car) and 1.11 (without bus service couldn't get around)

[@Nopperabou]

I still think of "you clown!"

[@jordanfrowd673]

Bloody brilliant

[@jayfloramusic]

My son joined the army today. Sent this to him right away.

[@pablowoods9886]

Does he back doubling the price of petrol

[@attiylanen]

What's his email? 😂

[@aliftree9298]

The ending is insane 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Jake-vy2bh]

This proves that aside from being a great writer, Arthur Mathews should've done more acting, he;s the funniest one in the sketch, and that's saying something when the others include Julia Davis, Mark Heap and Kevin Eldon!

[@nevittwoods1730]

Surrey 👍

[@Benjiesbeenbetter.]

He fupping should have.

[@greglynch391]

@@Benjiesbeenbetter.why are you talking like that?!

[@Benjiesbeenbetter.]

@@greglynch391 Because there's a no swearing sign.

[@roberth1322]

Arthur Mathews is fucking terrifying.

[@telmas7183]

How perspicacious of them to have seen fuel at twice the price!

[@atticbadger]

Too right, mate! - Brass eye - The day today - Phoenix Nights - Alan Partridge Need I go on?

[@garyturner5739]

Good idea what about trembling the price of it.

[@sacredgeometry]

:) its great to have the weather back after the last few years.

[@rheinlandfilmchannel]

why isn't this a meme yet? this is just brilliant

[@CoryMck]

@@MattTheOak and vine Is dead

[@taknt3836]

We'll make it one

[@bigsteve1664]

Nobody will appreciate this more than people in the army. We're very self aware of our academic limitations, and we're fine with that!

[@every1665]

Love the joke about how the army looks after everyone these days. "Even if you're absolutely hopeless at everything we try to teach you and can't work through the simplest of problems we have a special division just for you - it's called the air force."

[@mmc1086]

Em people in the army are hella brave. I could never. Am also academically limited but still

[@half_eaten.hooker]

@@mmc1086 it's a gag

[@insertnamehere5146]

@@mmc1086 You're very honest but you're also very right about the Army.

[@nelsonhibbert5267]

@@every1665 To be more precise it would be the RAF Regiment. Or anyone that works in supply.

[@1000WinstonSmith]

“Fly?” 😂😂😂

[@xjames118]

I was passing through Wottoon Basset the other day, and a squaddie healed my son of leprosy, and brought back the sight of my blind daughter. I hate myself for only working in British Industry, and will gladly feed myself into a Soylent Green machine for our brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave, brave boys. God* bless 'em.

[@kingmancheng]

Lol loved this the first time I watched it, just completely didn't see it coming.

[@daewookim8030]

Do you fly? Hahaha!

[@old2eyes]

top class funniest sketch ever

[@PubliusDiamond]

What is the blonde woman's name in this? She was in Alan Partridge once.

[@urbanstarship]

This is a dramatisation of the how the Yellow Vest protests started in France.

[@gooman989898]

dude you are 100% fuckin right! -the office -extras -canned camera they're so much funnier then the rest of the world!

[@ezzerdamoose]

Thank you.

[@hazel10987]

What is "Big Train"?

[@Triplesod]

Haha! Sorry 3SidedSquare, mate, I actually had a point in response to what you were saying about Father Ted pretty much being universally funny and pleasurable but it seems I lost it somewhere while I was sat on my high horse! :-)

[@knabzco]

'How do you get around, do you fly?!'

[@Triplesod]

@jerry303 OK, thanks for letting me know. You honestly didn't need to go to the trouble to tell me, mate but I appreciate you taking the time. I'm not exactly sure why you would let me know, though. I don't even know why you would bother trying to read what I wrote at all, considering I was speaking to someone else and it was none of your business. It's especially strange when you admit to struggle reading and understanding writing. All the best.

[@dontsqueezethecheese]

dont worry, i sit on the fence for nearly all situations.

[@videogamenostalgia]

Do you *FLYYYYYY*

[@visoak]

Omg that punchline haha

[@xjames118]

@unrealaldridgeguy I'm confused. You cited World War Two as a reason for having the -modern- army. If that wasn't tenuous enough, are you saying that the Taliban doesn't even enter into it, and the Army should exist 'just because'? Just in case Godzilla attacks? And you do read the Daily Mail. I've seen you reading it at 3 AM. And you use it as wallpaper in your treehouse. And you have a tattoo of Jade Goody saying 'Goodbye England's Rose'.

[@johno6294]

Still the funniest skit of all time.

[@kylesweeney-stewart5358]

This is before jam right?

[@kundalinipsych]

I've always loved this sketch and thx for the upload. One thing: if I hadn't already seen it I might not have liked seeing the punchline right there in the video description, just saying...

[@beagangraham1443]

this is so good

[@MrMarmalizer]

Does Sadiq Khan get all his ideas from comedy shows?

[@illiteratethug3305]

Shaun Lock on the voiceover?

[@rabidsasquatch]

+illiterate thug Phil Cornwell I think

[@illiteratethug3305]

rabidsasquatch Yes I think you are correct actually. does sound similar though

[@Liorte1973]

It's Phil Cornwell from Stella Street

[@illiteratethug3305]

Liorte1973 Never noticed how similar they sound before. (Either of you noticed George Martin, then Keith Emerson, then Prince dying within a few weeks? They should have done a Kanye West parody methinks...)

[@mingtooter]

Mark Heap's sneer gets me every time 1:38 Nyaaaaaaaaaaar XD lol

[@garystevens4303]

Yes, I'm sure there was a sneering little weasel just like that at school.

[@BlackRoseRX7]

oh man i crack up at this every time. ahahaha

[@brettjohnson536]

Is it just me or does the voice at the end sound exactly like Sean Lock 😂

[@PurushaDesa]

@jm2trash And that's why you're typing that remark from what's left of the Helmand province, right?

[@ravertrancerpsy]

@60s70s80s90smusic so are you going to join the army now or what?

[@yellowpete79]

thanks for the anecdote how interesting

[@thursday1679]

Kevin Eldon is so so funny .

[@primus209]

Funniest Big Train sketch

[@Triplesod]

@Paddy234 To be fair though, I've read Arthur Matthews and Graham Linehan - (the writers, as I'm sure you know), two Irish men - also call it a Britcom but also being extremely and fundamentally Irish at the same time. I know you weren't suggesting that only Irish folk can completely appreciate FT but I do think that the show couldn't possibly have been crated by English, or indeed anyone but the Irish.

[@PubliusDiamond]

Thanks!

[@willyboy555]

well said.

[@talatsmum]

lmao this is like the 'become a teacher' spoof off.. emm armstrong and miller? some comedy show anyway.. except this is better lmao :D

[@thekencliff]

the laugh.. it's over acting..LOL..

[@206wildcard]

do u get to work in half the time now??

[@gamesworkshopdude]

hey don't mention it WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

[@surajratti1329]

Rossana Podesta played Helen of Troy

[@medalion1390]

Helen Mirren played Elizabeth II

[@zeusuk100]

This is how extinction rebellion protesters should be spoken to

[@Laughing_Chinaman]

french yellow vest riots in a nutshell

[@bandanadan6936]

AWESOME

[@nigelcarren]

Between 0:17 and 0:21 Kevin Eldon became Ian Brown... it must be the hair.

[@GileadKid]

Her name is Julia, not Jill.

[@AidanMclaren]

I don't know. It makes an already funny thing even funnier.

[@anglaismoyen]

They're not wrong though. We do need to take cars off the road and get people into public transport if we want to solve congestion and improve journey times.

[@Jdeadevil]

What would you say to the two peoples' arguments though? Lmao

[@anglaismoyen]

@@Jdeadevil It's not impractical to bring two-year old twins into town on public transport. I've done it with a 3 and 1 year old. If it's impractical, it's probably because there's lots of traffic, or the bus service isn't well funded, probably because people don't use it (and they don't use it because it isn't well funded). Solution: take cars off the road and into public transport. As for people who live in the countryside, besides ones who are eligible for red diesel, they're probably there because they want the luxury of space and nature but still want to take advantage of human settlements to satisfy their needs, in which case they can pay their way through higher fuel costs.

[@breakfreak3181]

If you're in a city, it's easy to take kids around on public transport. I do all the time. Of course there will always be essential car users (people living in rural areas with poor public transport provision is a perfect example). Improved and extended public transport infrastructure worldwide is essential for the environment.

[@simonsimon325]

don't worry, a few more years and we'll be forced to accept Britain is now just one big car park and something has to be done. Ever been to a picturesque little village in the lakes or the cotswolds and it's just effing cars in two lines down every street. so depressing.

[@discoder]

True.

[@Zrashy]

1:39-1:42 YEAAAARH. I love this!

[@Isleofskye]

Why you say that 11 years ago Bredda?

[@sacredgeometry]

hey emo :) are you enjoying the Cornish sun i defiantly am :D

[@charlieblomley7763]

Emmanuel Macron rn

[@redryan5048]

I think everybody knows someone like that!!

[@nazirkazi2588]

So.. only the person absorbing ideas, with an admittedly unclear vision of bettering the world, is mocked by hyenas and sent to fight their wars.

[@hoss1962]

Don't let us stop you signing up again - we here on "civy street" will cope with the loss of one ex-squaddie somehow, don't worry about us...

[@hentaipanda07]

one of my fav big train sketches .... haha ..... they are so very nasty to him .... it's wonderful !

[@gbessone]

i agree

[@probie145]

"YOU BOLLOCKS!!!! I HATE YOUUU!!!"

[@Triplesod]

@Ilikenuman So did Bob Hope.

[@transonicbuoy1]

Oh God. Was looking at YTube bits about history, etc, lots of argumentative and cheap comments. Thought I'd turn to comedy to lighten the day - and more bloody idiots getting all nationalistic. About COMEDY! What an 'effin' hoot that is. Cheers guys.

[@redryan5048]

HA HA HA HAI know a guy that does this all the time and he keeps doing it!!

[@moksq42]

Good Lord!!!! I my stomach is hurt