Bill Burr - How I Robbed A Liquor Store

Bill Burr & Bobby Lee talk about how dumb they were when they were young and the petty crimes they committed like robbing a movie theatre, stealing shoes and a case of beer, just to have a cool story to tell.
Podcast Name - Tigerbelly
With - Bobby Lee & Khalyla Kuhn
Bill Burr's Website - billburr.com
#BillBurr #Robbing #BobbyLee

[@BillBurrUniversity]

Were you guys ever involved in a dumb criminal activity when you were young? What was it? 🤔👇

[@stevendaniels8652]

Yes. I broke a tanning product store window with a brick, at 3am while waisted and stole 'rescued', a blue and gold macaw......i was drunk on my 21st birthday (three weeks after the store break in) walking down the beach with him perched on my shoulder (named him Harley), drunk on rum (i wish this was a fabrication). I got arrested and eventually convicted of a felony, in florida.. I'm now a 43 year old convicted felon.😂😂😂😂 (everyone has always laughed, including the judge and everyone in the court room.) Funny, except for the consequences. I'm british....no idea how i wasn't deported.

[@nicosmind3]

I once arranged an elaborate bank hiest, where i secretly convinced everyone else on the job to kill one other person, so the rest of us could split the money and get more and pulled it off beautifully. But that was back in the day when my buddies had given me some weird nick-name, and i used to get in the odd fight with some homosexual furry, who always had a sore throat. Good times for sure

[@evanabbott2737]

Ummm, blowing up dry ice bombs in pumpkins on people’s porches. One had a dead squirrel inside, so it flew everywhere when it exploded. Never got caught, though.🤔

[@jrust91]

Some guy I knew worked in the electronics department in Walmart and also took care of shipping, so when the shipments of iPads came in he would write down lower count than he actually received, and sold the iPads to a guy named Craig who has a list.

[@SRofKings]

Elaborate shoplifting scheme at several Kroger’s 20+yrs ago. Used to steal beer etc. drive to the university & deliver to college frosh dorms for 3-400% sticker value.

[@kb6530]

Haha yeah as a teen. Ask out my crush? Nah scary Almost die and go to jail to impress her? I can do that!

[@willwillisproductions159]

This needs to get animated

[@77mpickett]

My thoughts exactly

[@jeremymenning56]

0:46 RIP Patrice. "It's a long story." Bill Burr. Great stuff.

[@rhetteverette2406]

We broke into an old movie theater once. A guy that worked with me told me he used to work there before and that the door on the roof was left unlocked. So after a few beers we went there and used the rain gutter like a rope and climbed up like Batman and Robin (without the benefit of the sideways camera it was scary) it was interesting seeing this abandoned place where I used to watch movies but after a few minutes we were ready to go. We met back up with other friends & told them of our adventure. They had less common sense than we did and were shining flashlights in the lobby which overlooked several restaurants with full drive thru lines & someone called the police. I was lucky once again.

[@fortyforfree]

I never doubted Bobby saying he’s a coward but damn guy haha

[@rhetteverette2406]

My buddies were inspired by Dazed and Confused and started committing property damage. I didn’t know that until I got invited to “go for a ride” and upon pulling up at a house that they’d apparently hit before and gunshots erupted from the angry homeowner who had replaced a few mailboxes. I can’t say I was innocent did it once just to fit in. I didn’t have many friends in high school and I liked the group’s taste in music and recreational activities minus the property damage. As a teenager everything is fun and games but as a homeowner I know how the guys frustration feels when some dumb shit costs you time and money. The bullets flew over our heads out into the vast Texas prairie that overlooked the isolated house. The guy was aiming high he didn’t want us dead just to leave him alone. While I may have knocked a mailbox off to impress these fuckheads nearly being killed was enough for me to know I needed to tell to tell them to fuck off.(we can get baked on the couch but when you go out causing havoc count me out. A week later they were out causing more damage and unknowingly creamed a mailbox of a judge or JOP. The guy made chase got their license plate and the guys did a few years. I thanked my lucky stars that I told them I wasn’t going out with them to do dumb shit anymore and got to finish my senior year of high school.

[@jrust91]

“I drove away” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@random-nz7dy]

"BX968 i got it I got it!!!!"

[@ezbakeoven4667]

958

[@jesset4870]

😂😂🤣🤣

[@GeneralAdmission_1]

I took a few cases of beer from a gas station because there was no one there.. I waited for like 5 minutes.. then I stuck 25 bucks in the donation thing for cancer or whatever and left. And from the stoplight you can see the front door, and the guy came running out in a panic, I got a laugh

[@kb6530]

In the large chain gas stations they are not even allow to do anything...but some of them are willing to die for the $8hr( employee) $13hr ( manager) and if they don't get shot trying to be a hero they can get fired because no corporation on earth is willing to risk a lawsuit caused by an untrained associate pretending to be loss prevention. But those lil private owned places, they will blow you away. I don't steal , I have a bit of loss prevention, security and management experience though

[@landminehopscotch3617]

@@kb6530 I don’t know if they still do this, but back in the day 711 used to let policemen park around back and use their store office to catch up on paperwork. So, every once in awhile some thief/robber would end up paying, sometimes with their life...

[@GeneralAdmission_1]

@@kb6530 what I actually did was I waited a few minutes, then loaded up my car.. went back inside.. waited some more.. then just threw $20 on the counter and $20 in the donation jar. It was ~$35 total. I was impatient, wouldn't recommend it

[@77mpickett]

When I picture that I picture it going down like in national lampoons vacation when he grabbed that money and put the check in the register

[@GeneralAdmission_1]

@@77mpickett 😆😆

[@navybloo]

Damn it, Billy with some of his stories from the can would have been awesome

[@L1Run]

Listening to Bill Burr with Bobby Lee mixed in is like eating chocolate chip ice cream with rat turds mixed in.

[@ChirpyMike]

Bobby tries too hard and doesn't know when to stfu.

[@KillumiGnarly]

I was In Jail with a Guy who was in there for Filming himself do a beer run Live on Instagram. lol

[@tomsawyer845]

Who are the hyenas in the background

[@bikeman78]

Yeah. Pretty annoying

[@effortlessawareness8778]

Lollll noice

[@itstayyy97]

MadTv Bobby Lee And his wife I'm pretty sure

[@danielmantell3084]

I used to shoplift a lot when I was around 17. I almost got caught at Walmart once when I didn't remove the mag strip off something. I successfully ditched the goods and fooled the security dude, but my idiot brother who was driving was still inside the Walmart and wouldn't answer his cell, so I wandered around the parking lot for like 30 minutes until I had to walk back in to get his dumb ass. I never shoplifted again after that... Wait, no that's not true. I very rarely shoplifted again after that.

[@EternalChamp]

...“You don’t rat” Because a lot of y’all needed to hear that again. 🤟🏻

[@clayongunzelle9555]

He called it off because something came up😅😅😅 thank God

[@Paul-dw2cl]

It doesn’t surprise me at all that Bobby Lee cowardly left his friend

[@dianapevtsov]

0:30 :) Yyyehhhsss, sitcom Bill chattin' up sitcom Lauren Graham.

[@chrisdalton5646]

"So, listen, uh, ya know, I'm white Irish, you're black Irish, uh, how 'bout ya let me inta ya claaayam theh, heh?"

[@irishelk3]

That was a great story. I used to steal as a teen for my friends, we’d have the munchies, and they would tell me what they wanted, all I had to do was grab everything, then walk to the counter and ask for 10 cent jellies as we call them in Ireland, you eat jellies religiously as a teen, anyway that’s all you ask for and if they asked me about the stuff I was holding which most of the time they didn’t, I would just say I already paid for them, but they only ever asked me that about two times, so most of the time I would spend 10 to 20 cent in the shop and come out with ice creams, drinks, crisps aka chips or some bars, and we would have a stoned feast on the green across from the shop. I did that a good few times. And rightly so, I must have given thousands to that shop over the years, bastids.

[@colbymarsh2074]

Pretended to read Dostoevsky 🤣🤣 Jesus christ

[@jennabanasak9283]

What sitcom was Bill in??? Amyone know about that clip.

[@charliebland5758]

bobby has that scooby doo laugh

[@ColinPierce]

"How are we gonna get the safe out?" By unlocking the door from the inside, Bill, once you're in the office.

[@m47kr3nt0n]

I broke into teacher's office through unlocked window. I actually got caught by security, dragged to principal's office but I was able to talk my way out of it. Oh my God I was lucky as fuck.

[@jorgeo1492]

Then you got into heroin.... Mark my boi, why would u do that shite?!

[@GoScience123]

Dude that's fucked what did you say to talk yourself out of that? "My bad I left my lunchbox in here"?

[@LuLe232]

I f you were to pretend to be the kind of guy who reads Dostoevsky, you could only fool the kind of people who also pretend to read... oh, okay, carry on.

[@adamwiggins9865]

He’s weird... “ I own up to it, I’m a coward, I’m weak.” Wtf kind of man says that shit proudly? Did someone beat his ass so bad he permanently got into Bobby’s head? Like I get it.. cause I’ve had my ass handed to me in fights...but Jesus,

[@clovrmay3104]

Exactly. Never rat.

[@bentowle3478]

I agree, unless it's a violent crime

[@KevinLopez-jf5ys]

"Ol' Billy Booze-Bag"

[@codyallensiebert]

Where are theses full podcast at??

[@jgould30]

I guess I'm the 1 person who never committed crime or felt a desire to. I never even drank. 🤷‍♂️

[@andeluuu]

Hooligans.

[@ColinDDC]

Awful powerpoint. Way better as a story performed on the podcast; looks so much better as a clip.

[@hidenbiden5668]

Me and my friend robbed marshals when we were like 14 . We both stole some shoes and decided it would be a good idea to get job applications on the way out and we did and as soon as we walked out the door the employees ran out after us . My friend ran away and I tried to but ran in a circle and got caught. While in the office my friend came back and we went to jail

[@ChirpyMike]

Thats called shoplifting, not robbery.

[@hidenbiden5668]

@@ChirpyMike I know but robbery sounds so much better

[@pablomartinez6907]

What's guys. If you tell your wife to loose weight. Does she tell booby grow taller.

[@dannysnyder4131]

Is it me, or is Bobby Lee not that funny?

[@romulus_]

he's better in sketches.

[@nicholaswoods4055]

Pretty simple, walk in grab it, walk out

[@flahgdoe4558]

Oh god Bobby Lee? I’m out

[@randomtroll7374]

Absolutely hate Bobby lee.

[@Vinny-bb2tj]

The lord of the rings was not a shit movie at all

[@bigguy1066]

Bobby Lee is just unlistenable with his cackle.

[@alwaysplay13]

I bet you like burt and schultz with their god awful fake cackles "hey i can fake charisma by laughing at anything i say"

[@Abruzzo333]

I already didn't like Bobby Lee but telling a story about driving away on his friend like that makes me hate him even more. What a worm.

[@industrialhemprocks]

Bill burr is so lame

[@lanibrittnaom6729]

OMG 😍💋 💝💖❤️

[@evanabbott2737]

HOLY MOLEY!!!!😱

[@giorgiorossi8644]

Get a life