Bill Engvall Comedy: Talking to My Son About Sex

Bill Engvall: "Dad, a condom is rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums." "You've been in Mama's sock drawer, haven't you?"
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About Bill Engvall
Comedian Bill Engvall was part of the enormously successful Blue Collar Comedy Tour and has starred in a number of films, TV shows and sitcoms, including Blue Collar TV, Comedy Central, A Pair of Jokers, Evening at the Improv , The Jeff Foxworthy Show, The Tonight Show and the Late Show with David Letterman. Some of Engvall's specials and albums include:
Just Sell Him For Parts (2016)
Them Idiots Whirled Tour (2012)
Aged and Confused (2009)
15° Off Cool (2007)
Dorkfish (1998)
Here’s Your Sign (1996)
Engvall's work has earned his numerous awards, including American Comedy Award for “Best Male Stand-up Comedian," #1 position on the Billboard Comedy Chart for Here's Your Sign, “Best Selling Comedy album," and a Grammy Award nomination for Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One For The Road.
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Bill Engvall Comedy
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[@beepeefromabove1592]

My dad was 45 when I was born. I was 32 when he says "I have to tell you about the birds & the bees". At first I thought there was a problem nest of bees and birds are involved... then I was overcome by spasms of laughter... thanks Bill.

[@phyllismarkley7878]

“Mama’s sock drawer”... 🤣🤣 I wonder if Bill had to sleep on the couch because of that specific joke...

[@chemusvandergeek1209]

Or simply because of the 'condom' itself...

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

and as soon as his head hit the couch pillow he heard in wifes bedroom .... bzzzzzzzzzzz uh oh bzzzzzzzzzz yes yes bzzzzzzz🙉

[@stevenporter6445]

Probably

[@dizzidazegaming]

You can see it on his face. "This joke is gonna get a laugh, but it'll put me on the couch. Oh well, already did the set up. Time for the punchline."

[@davecrupel2817]

Probably had to sleep in the garage 😂

[@chrispappas3750]

People need to really watch what they say around comedians, you know it'll come out in their next gig.

[@DavidBDavis-lz7bt]

It's true. Howard Stern once said that when his wife, parents, in-laws, etc...got on his nerves, he had a way of getting back at them; he kept a pen and pad at his bedside and wrote everything down...and the next day, it all became fodder on his show.

[@StevenPorter-q6w]

Especially if you're their spouse or child

[@chuckstevenson8149]

This is one of my favorite jokes Bill does. Can't stop laughing 😝😝😝

[@StevenZeller-eh7yr]

Thanks for the laughs Bill! Needed that today! God bless you sir!

[@soylentteal]

The Good: You give the "birds and the bees" talk to your son. The Bad: He keeps interrupting. The Ugly: With corrections

[@wyndiahighwind7477]

Or suggestions.

[@buckledwheat6299]

Wyndia Highwind eeeuuuwwww

[@joshuafreedman7703]

Seventh Mist BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[@elainewalls1965]

Just wait until you have grandkids. Having the "talk" is a walk in the park. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jasminescott4258]

Comedians. You have one in your life and you become part of their jokes.

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

please tell , jasmine, inquiring minds would like to know 🤔

[@stevenporter6445]

OMG and you better have a good sense of humor

[@aadd11]

@@stevenporter6445 and thick skin lol

[@TheJenn75]

Lol “they’ll do that?”

[@kagomecc461]

Just ask uh? 😆

[@isdrakon9802]

Your be surprised what some people enjoy

[@cwalker3166]

I still remember 20 or so years ago being at Goodnights Comedy Club in Raleigh when Bill was the warmup for Jay Leno that night....my sides still hurt.

[@MistyCunard]

My daughter and I had the “talk” a few years ago. I certainly wasn’t trying to be the cool mom. However, I tried to be a little more cool than my mom was. My mom was so biological that I still wasn’t sure what she meant when the talk was over. 🤣

[@francescalegrand6257]

You think that's bad??!! My Mom told me nothing !!!

[@stevenporter6445]

Learned about sex from the world book encyclopedia and playboy

[@killer92173]

My dad never gave me "The Talk!" He let me figure out on my own, and I did with my health classes in High School!! Lol

[@janenc8040]

My mother told me nothing. The only thing she did was show up at school (around 1957) the day they talked to 3-4th grade girls about menstruation and asked if I had any questions. I have no recollection as to how I learned about sex.

[@joywebster2678]

Oh I got a fairytale about when a man MARRIES a WOMAN they lay down together and it's like the bird taking nectar from the flower and giving it to the bees and they make honey, but humans make babies. BUT it only happens if your married. So since she had 4 daughters she was lucky our school health class was more graphic, so I could go OH THAT'S no bird beak! 😅 and it explained why one girl was pregnant in grade 9, and wasn't married! Moms 94 now. I dare not ask if any birds come near at the retirement home! LOL.

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

saw a meme w/a young boy who said to his mom, "i found the cats toy ", mom replied,"how do u know its the cats toy ?", kid replied ," cause it smells like fish", shes holding up a purple vibrator, funny as hell 🤣

[@ansellovestogroworganicall2180]

Funny and never used any nasty words.

[@patriciajrs46]

There you go!! I wish all comedians would realize that vulgar and funny are not equal terms.

[@saragrant9749]

I laughed so hard I peed!

[@denisehedden13]

🥀Amazing hilarious I'm laughing Thank's Bill I needed this🥀☝️🥀

[@LadyHeathen82]

Blanche’s son, Matthew, in Golden Palace

[@susanwahl6322]

I always told my son not to bring anything home that I couldn’t get rid of at a rummage sale.

[@brittanysmall2124]

"Daaaaad. A Condooooooom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums" x'D

[@seanlauer9819]

Brittany Small You've been into Mama's Stock Drawer haven't you? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@lordexmouth1217]

Stock drawer? Does she keep cattle in the dresser?

[@deniseculley1548]

@@lordexmouth1217 Lmfao!!😅😅😅

[@markgigiel2722]

@@lordexmouth1217 No. Soup ingredients.

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

@@lordexmouth1217 no, a stock of different vibrators 🤣

[@margaretguerriero5450]

Bill Engvall is so funny

[@Rashaed]

I feel sorry for that boy since Bill has been talking about him his entire life.

[@Tyrunner0097]

Bill was asked about that. He said his son is okay with it, but his daughter gets annoyed by it.

[@dianeporter2819]

Took me awhile but got it lol

[@develynseether4426]

Even since his kids were kids stuff has changed so much. My 14 year old niece told me last year she has asexual friends. At 14 I didn't even know asexual was a thing!

[@aidenkaylena1054]

It's not a thing

[@MmBeeA]

You are an awesome entertainer l

[@Big_Wash01]

Jokes like this are why Bill doesn't have to fall back on the 'Here's Your Sign' jokes to get a laugh.

[@deadlineairsoftforcegroupp5487]

So funny

[@Pfsif]

Better him about child support and "Family Court" or you hate your son.

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

@Thor Odinson *better tell him

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

been there 😟😞😟😞😟😞👋$

[@BeasCountryFavoritesclark]

I have 3 son's, think of the Fun I had !

[@robertdawson9114]

It hums??? Must be bored lol.👍😁😎

[@jenniferdelay9669]

I call it a helmet

[@Goldengirl48]

A rubber sock!

[@zacharysiple783]

I want to make sure...did he mistake condoms for vibrators?

[@aprildannettegosa5381]

Zachary Siple Yep LOL but Bill was joking about her having one LOL

[@zacharysiple783]

@@aprildannettegosa5381 I thought so, but like I said I wanted to be sure I got the joke. Thanks for the confirmation!

[@spikebrannigan]

Actually, he mistook a vibrator for a condom

[@zacharysiple783]

@@spikebrannigan Oh, that would be more grammatically correct...I meant he mistook one for the other though. So, po-TAY-to, pa-TA-to.

[@ronaldrobertson2332]

@@zacharysiple783 Then there's taters. 'love taters.

[@kitsunelee007]

I would've needed to walk out of the room and take a few moments before returning to talk with my son.

[@dergluckliche4973]

When you meet _the girl_ and fall in love...? What the fuck does love have to do with sex? Fall in love...please!

[@willlightfoot2588]

R

[@ryanhunter616]

Never knew he was that kinky

[@DavidBDavis-lz7bt]

I've been a Bill Engvall fan since the late '80s...he's got a recurring role on Last Man Standing as the Baxters' pastor. He and Tim Allen work so well off each other.

[@francescalegrand6257]

Yes, Bill is talented, funny and handsome. However, he was better looking when he was clean shaven. MUCH better looking by far. !!!

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

why does a vibrator hum ? because it doesnt know the words !

[@pambronson4467]

Well, it is impolite to talk with your mouth full.

[@lordBritish1]

@@pambronson4467 Thanks for the laugh

[@heatherrobinson5458]

"Been in mama's sock drawer" 😂😂

[@bboyzgram]

Mom of 13/14 yo boys......advice if you're looking for your Victoria Secret catalog.....DO NOT LOOK UNDER YOUR SONS MATTRESS!

[@swytchblayd]

And for heaven's sake don't ask for them back.

[@stevenporter6445]

Ain't that the truth

[@jcmee91]

I salute these young troopers.

[@orppranator5230]

I was a 13-14 y/o boy, 6-7 years ago: can confirm.

[@waynemetevia7983]

"My wife loves that joke." Yeah I'll just bet she does. NOT! 🤣

[@killer92173]

Probably had to sleep on the couch that night when she found out. Lol

[@sneakysnake8863]

His reaction after the condom explanation always makes me laugh cause that would be me after hearing that from my son if i had one

[@DinsdalePiranha67]

Dad never gave me "the talk" - I had to figure it out on my own. In spite of myself I've managed to stay married for 20 years.

[@Salty-kz8mg]

I wonder how old his son was when he gave him the talk

[@colerieger7300]

I don't know when this was filmed, but based on when I first heard Bill and the date today, his kid has to be pushing 30.

[@rachelplows3001]

I'm surprised that he didn't know what a condom was!

[@kevinreedy2947]

1:53 I’m in the verge of tears🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@cynthiaennis3107]

I wonder how the rest of that conversation went! 😁

[@saraannscarbrough7314]

I would ring his neck lol

[@bridgetdraper5146]

I am a single mom. I have 3 daughters and 2 sons. One son has a disability and my other son did NOT want me teaching him how to shave or talking to him about sex. So one of my daughter's is adopted. She works at Gatesville prison....she handled him for me!

[@bridgetdraper8671]

I'm definitely going through it! I'm a newly former single mom of well over a decade.

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

hit the sock drawer lately ? 🤔🤣

[@brotherchrisrco1125]

What's a condom? Women have a lot of secrets...

[@connielofticebowman2215]

hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..too funny

[@killer92173]

My dad never gave me The Talk! He just lets me figure it out by myself, and I did through my Health Classes!! Lol

[@Lycan4]

I learned while reading a book I found in the school library when I was thirteen.

[@jdfox8889]

My mom told me my dad just told me baby’s come in baskets lol

[@KarliBlackwell]

I work at a school scary enough lol

[@juniorzablosky9608]

@countrygirl countrymusiclover have you been to a public school nowadays? I was fifteen and went to highschool for two days, I got so stressed I had heart palpitations. My parents took me out immediately.

[@juniorzablosky9608]

@countrygirl countrymusiclover 1: I missed the space bar 2: I don't need to hear about the achievements of two kids I'll never meet. And 3: do you get a kick out of making fun of random people you find online?

[@juniorzablosky9608]

@countrygirl countrymusiclover sounded like it when you were talking about my spelling

[@jennifercoleman5195]

It was easy for me to tell my middle son. I got pregnant with his baby brother. That's the time to have an Honest discussion.

[@dragondancer1814]

We had The Talk with our older daughter when I was pregnant with her younger sister. It’s not that hard, and it paves the way for more facts on the same subject as they get older. And since what passes for sex ed in our county leans heavily on the abstinence-based BS (and then they wonder why our county has the fourth-highest teen pregnancy rate in the entire STATE!), I wanted to make sure my girls have All The Facts so they can better manage their health and protect themselves!

[@lindafurr2404]

I asked my mom a question and it triggered her into trying to tell me about everything about sex. It didn’t make any since because I had two female cousins who had periods and sex and had used layman’s terms to explain it. I learned much more from them.

[@Barry-rc5nf]

This is exactly why we need better sex ed in schools

[@mikelacoss3948]

Wow

[@jenniferdelay9669]

Chop chop sing sing

[@brad9956]

"When I tried to tell my kid about the birds and the bees, he told me about my wife and the butcher!" - Rodney Dangerfield

[@stevenporter6445]

Nailed it

[@StevenPorter-q6w]

Oh yeah

[@denisehedden13]

Too Funny I love this Man

[@Wellness_flow]

Lol

[@richterman3962]

First to comment lol

[@EternalGodling]

Damon Richter seriously?? Grow up

[@richterman3962]

@@EternalGodling really? Dude I'm 40 years old, got no friends, already cutting myself everyday but really

[@jezeski2011]

@@richterman3962 I am sure that if you really try, you can find better uses of your time and energy than cutting yourself and I truly hope you can find help for that. I know what it's like to feel cut-off from the world. I wish you well.

[@Magnum-qd5mr]

@@richterman3962 study Gods word, im a loner but not because i found Jesus Christ many years ago 👍🙏✝️

[@2neilas]

IN-TER-COURSE*, you dip wads!!!