Bionicpig reacts to The Worst Australian Kidnappers

[@elithornton5217]

30:16 “…Billy…please for the love of Satan,tell me you did NOT leave a bag of supplies that can help our hostage escape…” “… i thought it would be unfair boss..” “goddamnit Billy”

[@NoctiisXIII]

this all already started out incredibly creepy when ballen said that julian is 22 and his girlfriend carolynne is 17 and that they are waiting till next year when she turns 18 to get married 💀

[@Justanidea5976]

Clearly, abstinence is not the problem here. This dude had deep seeded issues already. Talking to an underaged girl, coming up with this plot, thinking someone is gonna want to have sex after a traumatic event, impatience. Even if he wasnt Christian/ abstinent he probably would've done something worse to someone else. Plus, his gf was abstinent, so even if he wasn't, he'd have to respect that.

[@TheGrossDemon]

Thank god she didnt sleep with him. Idk if their relationship survived the truth coming out, which I doubt and hope not, but I can imagine how tramatized she'd be knowing she was saving herself and was tricked into sleeping with him. I'd feel so gross after that. I'll tell you what tho, the "men ain't shit" club probably got a new member xD

[@katiemaycosplay]

Ok so while watching this my only response was... "What!?!?!?"

[@bingdinggold1877]

I rarely say "excuse me??" but I did several times during this

[@RUGRATED]

“My experience was quite antiquated, Doth doeth react As muddled delirium 🤤ahhh jolly good show! “ -in my pops voice

[@Judgement_Kazzy]

A white guy with an Australian accent who, I'm assuming, doesn't even speak an Indian language fled to India and thought he could pass himself off as a citizen. That's fucking gold.

[@McCammalot]

You broke me, Bionic. The moment my guy said "The Australian authorities believed" his South Asian cosplay I have become a puddle of tears and tummy cramp and I have not yet stopped laughing which is gonna be a problem in a minute

[@raidengoodman8754]

“Damnit Billy did you watch a whole bionic pig video without liking or subscribing?!” “Sorry boss I didn’t know how amazing and awesome this guy was.”

[@Jade_1872]

I absolutely think his hillbilly cultist kidnappers voices could work for a damn good animation.

[@bakago4746]

I would like to see that too

[@cassandra.wladyslava]

Agreed. Someone animate that shit.

[@karmicrabbit6713]

He packed all that shit and forgot sunscreen. 🤦

[@FEKana]

I mean besides the whole thing being beyond demented and Psychotic and traumatizing for the real victim he roped into this... the fact that he couldn't even get some while making it seem like they were in danger is HILARIOUS.

[@TheZipperDragon]

"Got Dang it, did you leave the keys in the car with dat dern satilite phone?" "Well...ahm sorry boss, ah fergot! I went for a ate 'er jog!” "Ya even filled da gas tank!” "Well it's only polite, boss!”

[@ilexlio]

As a Christian we do not claim him, absolutely disgusting And ngl because of her abstaining she dodged a major bullet with that guy

[@geminicattheinsomniac8408]

Right

[@brycedurham280]

As a christian, I can say this guy is not a christian. Or anybody who soaks like what the pig was saying.

[@brycedurham280]

@@mehaplebypotatocalledtaqwa4773 So true. Your comment should be pinned and liked more.

[@mehaplebypotatocalledtaqwa4773]

Yeah as a Muslim that kind of hit me offensively...religion says not to have sex before marriage...if you can't do that, that's on you because you have no self-control...but because religion said you can't have sex before marriage and so you have pent up sex wishes so you come up with ridiculous ways to get laid doesn't make it religion's fault...heck if he wasn't following a religion, he might even have attempted a rape or something

[@hdnfbp]

@@mehaplebypotatocalledtaqwa4773 What he did is actually attempetd rape by coercion, so i don't think religion stop that

[@somedude1561]

Imagine if Pig actually does a crossover with Ballen, like Pig tells a story for one video and tries to be a narrator and then Ballen reviews some obscure horror movie and tries to imitate Pig's humor

[@RUGRATED]

Damn…. “LET HIM COOOOOOK😈😈!!!” . Good idea tha would be a banger.

[@tatyanarodriguez1561]

Thirty minutes in and was thinking it some some weird indoctrination test for potential members, but the ending while unexpected was not surprising. Why is it that we can tell when someone's a creep just by seeing their photo? Seriously, the girl looked nice and sweet but the guy was unsettling. The worst part is I can't even identify why he creeped me out he just did.

[@McCammalot]

Well that was thoroughly unexpected in every conceivable way from what I expected when I first read the title.

[@TheTonyRedgrave]

This feels like a Rick and Morty plan where everything fails.

[@rantina6138]

The Dennis implication reference.. I appreciate another sunny fan

[@snakesonaframe2668]

I would be just as interested to see the roadkill, as a naturalist and general wildlife-loving person. Especially if it was on my own property, and double especially if it’s a large animal. It could have been killed by a car, but it also could have been a large predator, in which case I would want to know in order to look out for it and such. I once found roadkill that told me a cougar was in the area (due to the state of the carcass, the type of animal it was, and the tracks around it).

[@MadamFoogie]

Agreed. I was honestly disappointed to learn that there was no roadkill. Vulture culture, unfortunately, holds quite a number of risks. Never know when a cougar is going to roll up on you. Or an overly horny boyfriend with a religious complex.

[@SapienSafari]

“It’s just the implication of danger.” Dennis is hilarious.

[@WolfQueenLydia]

This was the one time I saw the Ballen video before Bionic saw it, was so waiting for the twist to see his reaction xD

[@cassandra.wladyslava]

Because nothing gets a woman in the mood more than being kept in an extremely uncomfortable position for hours, fatigue, sunburns, etc…oh! And being terrified someone is trying to find them and kill them. Just…wow. I mean, even if she did want to have sex with the guy she was probably in too much pain/discomfort.

[@MrMoterbreath]

Dude in the story's response to everything must always be the most extreme response

[@averageryan4965]

This is probably the best one of these I've seen. What a ridiculous idea!

[@MadamFoogie]

I'm probably the only one here who is disappointed to learn there was no roadkill. Was hoping it would be some big freaky moose, or like, Moder from _The Ritual._ I feel so betrayed. >:

[@kappakiwi3257]

A moose?? In Australia? I'd be stressing if I saw one of those on the side of the road out here

[@MadamFoogie]

@@kappakiwi3257 I know, right? Some really weird, incredibly large animal would have been super cool. Maybe a hippopotamus, or a grizzly bear. Just something totally huge and out of place. Pity the only massive thing there was the dude's boner.

[@frankieffbaby]

It’s never Satanist. It’s like that satanic panic shit

[@N7Landry]

Goddammit Billy

[@Ecroartu]

order of nine angles? a cult of mathematicians?

[@msjonyba1234]

If I’m ever kidnapped, I hope it’s by these people. E: yo what the FUCK.

[@hallbjornthefirebreather8376]

Lmao when you stopped and said "do I even need to say it?" My mind immediately went to "there's no way there's a fucking montage here"

[@Monkeyfuzz]

Your incompetent kidnapper voice sounds alot like the Sheriff of Nottingham from Disneys Robin Hood.

[@pug8714]

"found roadkill *Gone Sexual*"

[@fl00rislava38]

when Pureflix and pray strategy won't work...

[@swiftbristle]

Mr. Ballen IS the sexual advisory! 😱

[@theangrydweller1002]

So they want to be 40k space marines fighting for the holy imperium and their trying to start an underground uprising

[@vittoryxe]

when I was listening to the story I was thinking "when did the kidnappers take Julian?" because we heard about how Carolynne was taken but it never mentioned where Julian was in the car. It was an hours long car ride, surely he would've made a noise or something - or Caroline would've seen him when she was taken out of the car and her blindfold was removed.

[@jojoahmd123]

Smart girl thank God she did not sleep with him follow your heart, brain with guys If someone really loves you it will show……unlike what the guy did all what he wanted is her body never loved her

[@shweenbean6672]

not to mention no one would be in the mood to do that in the middle of escaping a kidnapping 💀

[@jojoahmd123]

@@shweenbean6672 Ikr 🤷‍♀️ all what he was thinking about is his private part and his desires not using the brain ( poor girl have no food or strength and the sun burned her and she was afraid and he was like come my girl 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️like consider her feelings mr smart)

[@QuikVidGuy]

"Dammit Billy! When we said they's gon' be returned we a'sposedta be lyin!"

[@rekyrro9669]

We need a BionicPig and MrBallen collab

[@laramiebear2896]

Julian looks like a McPoyle

[@MadamFoogie]

Dennis McPoyle.

[@billsloan]

All he had to do was wait just one more year then both of them possibly could have lived Happily Ever After.

[@sleepinginmoss]

Listening to this while working retail was a challenge I almost burst out laughing bru

[@sydneydavis8140]

This guy in the flannel is a great story teller!

[@lunarsnow9975]

He was smirking in the photo of him at court..creepy

[@thatclassicviewer5193]

I’m ngl, I’m not surprised that Pig didn’t figure it out as soon as it was linked back to Julian. The sexual advisement thing was a dead give away, granted my mind has depths unfathomably dark.

[@sparco956]

One of those members got sacrificed for their fuck-up

[@missapeeps3771]

Mr.Ballen is the best story teller! I watch all of his stories and now he has a podcast!

[@Semi-Cyclops]

if he was an extreme christian he was probebly home schooled. but her beliefs were tested beyone imagenation wow.

[@MoobOgler]

2:11 pig hears the word Christians Pig: oh no

[@flowersinawasteland]

this story really reaffirms one’s belief in the almighty

[@TimothyWarren-i6q]

The three stooges cult edition sounds AMAZING

[@DEFxRECON]

The dude looks like Jimmi Simpson

[@deeviousrat]

i was looking forward to your reaction to this one lol

[@spoopythings]

Dude this sketch of Billy and the other satanist (Bobby I'm guessing). Billy just always forgetting stuff so that their victims always escape easily and (bobby always getting so dissapointed is gold comedy man.

[@neenas_nyem3620]

Somehow , I wish the billiy version is better . Mannn

[@bakago4746]

Same, that concept was so funny and ridiculous

[@stankyb1]

You don't realize how annoyingly Ballen tells stories until he tells one you've already heard.

[@kabirdas2786]

No…. No….. this is worse than a dennis plot. Dennis would never

[@asaalonge4338]

That guys decision making skills are not good.

[@SapienSafari]

That was really good.

[@philiptheprotogen8488]

He went to prison and nobody dropped the soap.

[@FlowerSong606]

7 years for trying to get laid 😂

[@EmoBunny69]

Too busy thinking with his Jimmy

[@kolbythurlow2422]

clever girl...

[@SavvyMuhon]

One of my faves reacting to one of my faves? I’m down

[@Big73Red]

I mean I’m against abstinence only, but the whole plot and the brown face to escape to India could’ve been avoid. Had he just had the patience to wait a year to bust.

[@meeks4weeks]

They look like knock off peter and MJ from the Rami trilogy.

[@TheICEgirl6100]

It was pretty obvious since she drove for six hours yet he was able to walk over to her when he broke free? Come on

[@neoneor]

this is the worst thing ive ever seen wtf

[@mmwolf503]

I was going to say this isn't the worst Australian kidnapping story I have heard but now I see what you mean. If you want the worst (as in horrible) I would suggest the murder of Peter Aston but I really suggest you don't. That one hasn't left me.

[@calvintabor5734]

Honestly? Great escape room lmao

[@Shortzillo]

I love your channel

[@sparco956]

OMG YES. WTF HE D.E.N.N.I.Sed HER

[@sparco956]

Jesus christ i died at the reveal that he did it all for the ass. Chat called it. Wtf man lmaao

[@Sub-ZeruGlace]

Ahahaha only in Australia

[@moxiemaxie3543]

No

[@TheOgZOMBlE]

she is way to pretty for that waste of space

[@freaker5259]

lol Satanists have nothing to do with Christianity its all about focusing on bettering yourself and basically having the mind set of being the best you that you can be

[@DigitalHeliumJumper]

nah, he doesn't really look weird or creepy. you all just get a bias when you already know something is wrong with him.

[@lucaswallo8127]

Would love to see bionic criticize muslims too

[@saint198]

I love pig but his hate towards Christian’s is od

[@suion444]

there was no hate towards them just criticism

[@richardsavolainen944]

He wasn't hating christians. Only critcising certain parts of the faith that some unfortunally believe like sex before marriage

[@AcornPower]

@@richardsavolainen944 people don’t need to have sex before marriage if they don’t want to. There are many reasons that goes towards it

[@MaryJane-tp3qd]

Od? Odd?

[@nicripolas816]

Religion, as a whole, deserves it. Sorry.

[@emeryltekutsu4357]

Blackface was supposed to be specifically darkening your skin to mock black people. I hate that people use it to describe "anytime anyone ever has skin slightly darker than what they normally have" these days. It's an insult to what it actually was. Like trying to compare, "a transsexual who was beaten in the bathroom" to "a transsexual who went to the bathroom and it kind of smelled in there", as if those are remotely the same thing. If someone is not be derisive to black people, stop making it out like they are. It's not helpful and, if anything, will get real problems completely ignored because people are going to just assume you're complaining about shit-all when you overuse it like that. People who do that are just using it as an excuse to be bullies. They even attack others who are praise and love black characters, literally the opposite of what blackface was, regardless if blackface is even a thing we're they're from or not (because not everyone is American).

[@jimmilton8333]

Ew don't say transsexual, it's like calling black people blacks, out dated and disrespectful

[@emeryltekutsu4357]

@@jimmilton8333 I'm literally trans and have no idea WTF you're on about. You sound like someone from Tumblr.

[@jimmilton8333]

@@emeryltekutsu4357 ah I spotted a Blaire white fan

[@emeryltekutsu4357]

@@jimmilton8333 Don't even know who that is. I just hate when people get "offended for us".

[@jimmilton8333]

@@emeryltekutsu4357 lmao trans people are being viewed as a threat by republicans and republican politicians are tweeting stuff like "trans supporters should face a f¡ring squad" (censoring it because KZbin) and all you care about is Tumblr, also bold to assume I'm not trans myself and have a different perspective

[@abdelmalekbouchellal1701]

i really hate your take on the abstinence thing. the dude was a weirdo dont put the blame on that. its to be sure the relationship is pure and not sexualized and if it didnt work the woman would be still pure in searching for another relationship. if they didnt abstinate im sure the dude would have doen other weird shit anyway

[@abdelmalekbouchellal1701]

also its because of this that there are a lot less cheating when there is abstinence so dont push your ideas on people that do

[@mojowwwav4357]

"he's not a true christian" same bullshit excuse used to protect the clergy the world over "oh, he never took his vows or teachings seriously" you love them until they step out of line and make you look bad and then all of sudden they're a weirdo and we shouldn't blame christianity for the huge role it clearly played in his life. And no, there isn't a lot less cheating because I guarantee when some so called devout christian does cheat he's no longer considered a true christian, very convenient.

[@HellBent_]

"still be pure" in itself is inherently creepy and weird, you're not helping your case with wording it like the woman is "ruined" once she has sex for the first time

[@diminie_chimket]

Thats the stupidest shit I've ever heard

[@RandallBalls]

This is just lazy content and theft if you ask me

[@moxiemaxie3543]

Yeah, I noticed he doesn't have much input and is too sheltered to understand why people do the things they do. " Why would they so that. Thats stupid"

[@diminie_chimket]

​@@moxiemaxie3543 What?? Him asking basic questions is.....him being sheltered?? What??