Black Teachers Introduced Me to Texturism.

[@meredithgrey777]

It's the grown UABW calling you out of class just to fawn over your hair. Such weird and obsessive behavior.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Exactly . There were women in their 40s calling out my hair as a child . Not ONCE did either of my parents ever make a big deal about my hair or say that it was prettier or “good” compared to others. Unambiguous people projected that onto me from childhood .

[@meredithgrey777]

@@ExoticalsUnited Right! Crazy how they project that while simultaneously accusing us of "thinking we're better" than them.

[@t-7479]

At 2:41 that’s EXACTLY how my hair was when I was a kid, and that length too! The level of vitriol, hatred, and nasty remarks from my black mom’s family …. It never ended 😭 EU I LOVE your content and your channel, thank you so much for creating this space for us ….

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg yes! We are hair twins 😂

[@eyeni7665]

I have long type 4b hair and till this day people still accuse me of using a weave

[@beans9499]

Im darker skinned but my hair is 3b/3c and people would put me on a pedestal because of my hair. It would start to get tiresome like ok 🫤 But because of that it also brought me jealousy which was frustrating. Im seeing this now with,my daughter. It would be good to know how to protect her from Black society.

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Yup

[@sophiam9886]

​@@KaraMackey Well, it's true.😏

[@user-dv3kq3rm4h]

@@justafellowsamaritan7845 You mean like the monoracial darker skinned OP? She's literally unambiguous in her pfp, claiming ambiguous proximity.

[@dearbrave4183]

The level of scrutiny, nitpicking and cruelty that we experience as exoticals is insane. It can even cause social anxiety and depression😢 But I'm glad you rode over all that nonsense and now you're confident and we have content❤❤

[@BENZ_ASMR]

Ppl loved to be like “you have white girl hair”🙄🤦🏽‍♀️

[@TherealHonestgoddess1]

People would always ask if my air was a wig or weave and i have 3c/4a hair type.

[@honks9484]

Same

[@MsLexKnows]

The hate so many of us received growing up is unreal…My mother fussed about doing my super thick 3b curly hair when I was younger, so I was actually embarrassed about it for a very long time. She would yank my hair into submission, yell at me to stop crying, and leave me with a sore scalp and headaches quite frequently. When she decided she didn’t have time to do my hair anymore (I was 9-ish) I would put it in a bun or a side braided ponytail (the 90s) in an attempt to hide it. She even had me using Blue Magic to “tame” it. 😂 Yeah…some women shouldn’t have children. I’m grateful for the community of fellow MLS exoticals I met in college that showed me what hair products they used and how to care for my hair, which I didn’t learn in my household. To this day when I meet other curly girls and they ask me about hair care products, I gladly share because you never know. I could be helping her with her healing journey 😊❤

[@AllMixedUpMGM]

Omg nair and relaxer in your shampoo? That’s insane! I had a woman recently insist that my hair was a twist out. Someone also said I was lying about my hair texture because it waves a lot and curls at the end. I’ve got mostly 3c hair that often dries in little waves especially the heavier it gets. But what reason would we have to lie about our hair textures 😭

[@Lemonsmeringue]

Wow I can def relate to this from childhood and as adult. It’s really sad. It’s important for all women to just love themselves for who they are and not compare.

[@Maranathaaaa8]

YESSSS TO THE LONG VIDEOS ❤❤🎉

[@vwd3437]

My hair is Type 4B/4C and I now believe I have a 3rd hair type too! Plus I still have my baby hair as an adult. Looks very close to Chili’s from TLC. It was weird being called “nap py haired” and “good hair” at the same time! lol

[@mikhalaa746]

Not them using the CLASSIC “my hair used to be long” line.🤣🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Exoticbarbie.]

I was just about to bring that up. Its most times a lie

[@Aries.Goddess30]

"If my mom didn't perm my hair when I was 5 years old, it would be as long as yours" 💀💀💀🫣🫣

[@cynthiapickett7403]

I definitely remember my niece having either a relaxer or weaves (thanks largely to teen mothers, typically). Even if not every child is meant to have long hair, it was really ridiculous in the glorified 1990's.

[@asdfvbnj]

I relate to this. When I was a kid the lunch ladies at school would always comment and obsess over my hair. Classmates would do the same thing too. My mom even told me as an infant i was street casted for a baby shampoo commercial because of my hair.

[@autumnof1992]

My mother who was a uambw would harshly criticize me for having fine textured 4a hair. When the time came for her to do my hair she would detangle my hair with a hairbrush dipped in a bowl of water she was Impatient and heavy handed. She would tell me your hair is difficult to manage like your father. I felt so embrassed.

[@Hairbytyra.s]

Wow.. this broke my heart to read…

[@vwd3437]

I love how much you experiment with your hair! I gotta admit, I wanna see all your styles and looks! At the same time, I also understand you maintaining your privacy. I can totally respect that!

[@_komiichan9509]

My mother told me when I was a child the other BW would ask her what she was doing with my hair to make it grow and to make it soft. I had a UDSBW teacher ask me if I was wearing a weave when I was 8. Elementary through High School I constantly got my hair pulled. And as as adult I’ve have people run their fingers through my hair telling me how long it is and I went on a blind date and this man dug his hand in my hair checking for tracks. The obsession with texture is weird.

[@Maranathaaaa8]

I feel like type 3 hair is very coveted. Even up to 4a. I remeber seing a tiktok of a girl saying "i like it because you still look black... but not all the way black". Just thought of that. Been trying to find the vid since. 😂

[@ExoticalsUnited]

I agree that 4a is included in the coveted category because a lot of the biggest hair influencers are 4a. I’ve also heard a very famous UABW preacher make a joke on her podcast about having a crush on a biracial man and having cute babies with 4a hair . so that’s definitely a thing that people also like to pretend doesn’t exist.

[@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty]

Definitely…I have 3c/4a hair and people used to say I got a jeri curl😂. I get many compliments, but some get upset saying it’s easier for me to be natural due to my hair type

[@Maranathaaaa8]

@@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty Same. The perm comments are annoying.

[@sophiam9886]

​@oncode7735 OMG! I actually do feel like my natural hair does look like a Jeri Curl.😅 That's why I always wear it either in a ponytail or pulled back and tucked into a claw clip or straightened. Lol!😂 I'm so paranoid about people thinking I might have actually put a Jeri Curl in my hair when I know that I didn't. So, I just tuck it away whenever I let it air dry because that's when my curls show the most.🤭

[@Maranathaaaa8]

@@sophiam9886 it's embarrassing tbh. Idk why but the thought of someone thinking I would alter my hair like that is cringe. I get my hair from my grandma who was mixed, and im the only one in my immediate family w my hair type.. so naturally Um guessing ppl would assume it's a perm. But since I discovered when I only used moisturizer it gets big and fluffy and not as.. "synthetic looking".

[@corricjjohnson126]

The funny thing is that when i wear curly or straight wigs, people assume it my natural hair. The crazier part is that people have gotten mad at it. My natural curl pattern is mostly 4c-4a with it predominantly being 4a. I remember when i got a perm and had a straight style, people ask me how did i make my hair silky and shiny. I didnt think nothing of it because with a perm i thought everybody's hair get silky but as i got older everyone's results is not the same.

[@Kirstyburst]

I have 3C hair but grew up in all white areas my whole life and boy oh boy was my hair made fun of, it was horrible. Only in my adult life did I finally realize how beautiful my hair is, I still love changing it up but people really focus on you when you're different in any way 🙄

[@lililiilililililil579]

Wait I checked ur bio outta curiosity and you're into psychology and sociology!? I've been loving your videos because of how you explain the nuances within societies along with how they affect many kids then it can carry on into adulthood. I'm currently studying sociology and I've been debating on whether I should switch to behavioral or social psychology bc of how interesting yet sad & overlooked these types of issues are within communities but I also would want to try to address it on a macro level so that's where I can't give up sociology :') if anyone has any advice i'd appreciate it!! Also, keep up with these amazing videos, you put genuine effort and provide details that many people fail to acknowledge or look into.

[@BeachBunnyPrincessMia]

As a brown skinned exotical that grew up around white ppl, I didn't know what texturism or colorism was. White ppl see us as all (even biracials sometimes lol) as black. And my parents are pro-POC so they taught us to love one another and to even love white people. It wasn't until they passed and I was placed in foster care that I was exposed to "Black culture". The things I saw and experienced is so dark that I believe everything you say on this channel and the comment sections. If it wasn't a creepy UADSBM creeping on me it was a UADSBW psychologically bullying me. I'm 31 and in therapy over trauma from being exposed to black CULTure so I'm all for the calling out! Thank you for another great video!

[@sophiam9886]

First and foremost, I'm sorry for the loss of your parents.🙏 Secondly, many white people absolutely do not see us all as black. I'm older than you and I have been told by white people all through my childhood and adolescent years that I'm NOT "just black" as if they had the right to tell me what I am. The number one question I always get from mono-racial black as well as white people is "what are you?" When I was younger, I used to claim only black and clearly anyone can tell that I'm mixed just by looking at me, both of my parents are mixed and they both just claimed black. So, I claimed black, too. It ALWAYS confused and sometimes even aggravated white people, especially if I was out someplace with my father since he's a white-looking biracial. My mother, God rest her soul, was fair-skinned too, but she was more golden toned rather than white looking. From my experience, mono-racial whites can be just as territorial as mono-racial blacks with claiming the mixed people that they think can add value or beauty to their race. I notice that the difference with mono-racial whites is that they will definitely NOT claim mixed people as white, but they do see us as different from "regular" blacks. They always made it their business to "correct me" and tell me that I'm not "just black." I distinctly remember being very aggravated about this.😅 But then I grew up and got over it. I now claim all of my heritage.😁💛

[@BeachBunnyPrincessMia]

@@sophiam9886 Oh wow thank you for clarifying! See this is why I love youtube. I would have never known about white people saying or being that way. So crazy lol kind of off topic but I have noticed that Latinos are really into differentiating between mixed and non-mixed Black people but I think thats more of a cultural thing.

[@lorenzoreynolds2512]

​@@BeachBunnyPrincessMiasorry for your loss

[@PrincessPink-x]

I remember when a black guy said “I like girls with hair like THAT” “it’s real” “that’s my type”. And I especially feel awkward when black women are with their husbands and the wives seem to always point out my hair to them first and then say “He loves long hair”. But the wife doesn’t have long hair so I feel awkward because they’re both staring at me. Black girls even ask if my hair is real and I hate when they ask, “what do you do” because my hair has been this way my entire life! It’s not a journey for me. I’ve learned new tricks but, I was just born this way and don’t want to come across as stuck up. But if they ask, they shouldn’t get mad at the truth. Some girls on KZbin are frauds in the hair community. They are MGM and had long hair all of their lives, it just grew even longer with a routine. That’s all. And then I see the poor 4c girls trying to do what they do when they should just rock their beautiful fro.

[@kimberlychristopher9686]

Nair in the shampoo bottle?!?! That is so hateful! 😡

[@ExoticalsUnited]

I know ! there’s no way that shea moisture shampoo would randomly have the same chemical smell as nair

[@PinterestBratz]

UABW say things like “we need to love ourselves” then go and praise another phenotype lolll. It’s actually a little sad

[@harumiayame8586]

Or when you straighten it they accuse you of wearing wigs or weaves. Ditto experiende with girls being right next to you and loudly making assumptions about outfit, hair styling, lifestyle..whats the point other than to look obviously pressed? Why not just ask or focus on yourself. Or speak with indoor decibel levels.

[@Sabrina-ek4px]

Are you still going to make a video about your experience of feeling dark-skin at an all white school ?

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Oooooh yes thank you for reminding me !

[@yahainHotPink]

Thank you for sharing

[@IndigenousExotical]

OMG the kiddie hairstyles unlocked a middle school hair memory for me!! I was telling the black girls at my new school i always wanted these little girl twist and bobble hairstyles, a style i only seen on Black girls (i came from a mostly Latino neighborhood with a mexican mom who only have me two long braids). The girls rolled their eyes and said “you mean barrettes? Everyone, not just black girls wear them🙄😒”. They called over some other girls to agree with them and then they walked off. So mean!! I was just trying to find commonalities and befriend Black girls. Of course, anyone can wear the hairstyle but this was obviously a Black girl hairstyle (traditionally mexican girls get the dora cut or 1 or 2 braids). It’s funny because those girls today are probably the ones who hate cultural appropriation. Looking back, these girls were so jealous of my long curly hair!!! I either had two braids or a big puff (that i was self conscious about bc Black girls had perms and all the other mixed girls has looser hair textures). Those girls didn’t believe I had the right to a beautiful intricate braided hairstyle because I already had beautiful hair with 0 manipulation. I was always ostracized for my hair being “crazy” in the Latino schools and in the schools with more Black girls, I didnt deserve or “need” braids

[@AlexisReaves-ou8do]

I dont know what happen to my comment, i had experience with 3 black hairdressers who would overprocess my hair and left burn marks on my scalp. My current jamaican hairdresser is the only one who took care of my hair very well.

[@kristinamarie111]

I have quite a few stories of my own when it comes to my hair but in middle school, I was in 7th grade and all the girls loved to play in my hair as if I was their Barbie doll and I should mention that I always had my hair straight, I never wore my natural curly hair. My mom actually had my hair relaxed at 11 years old 😫😫 and to this day I wish she would have never done that because I didn’t need it but anyway I always had my hair straight and it was always pretty long. And there was one time in particular where the girls wanted me to put my hair up into a high ponytail so me being a people pleaser I put my hair up into a high ponytail the next day just so the girls could flip it around and take it down and put it back up 🤦🏾‍♀️ but me being shy and quiet I didn’t do or say anything. It’s weird because I think all the black girls had their hair relaxed but when I think about it now maybe it was the texture of my hair that was different because my hair naturally is very soft and bouncy and I never got my hair relaxed every 8 weeks I would usually get it done once every 6 months so in between relaxers I was pretty much natural but I was just wearing my hair straight

[@AFocusedLiving]

Don’t forget the hairdressers that would take the anger on your hair and say negative affirmations about it.🫢😑

[@ExoticalsUnited]

Omg yes!

[@AlexisReaves-ou8do]

That's true. I had 2 black hairdressers who burned my hair and had several burn marks.

[@AFocusedLiving]

@@AlexisReaves-ou8do wow sorry to hear they left a burnt mark on my neck.

[@AFocusedLiving]

@@GemGem12 I know I would suggest a professional that caters for your hair atleast one time but just don’t anywhere because it’s cheap or black owned

[@t-7479]

Yesss this!!!! One thing I’ve learned is to be VERY careful who we hire to do our hair, brows, lashes, facials, any kind of beauty treatment … if you get a jealous one, they could try to sabotage your appearance. It’s happened to me a few times! Be careful out there ladies!!!

[@mcleanroom7997]

Nair in shampoo! OMG! 😢 HATERS!

[@lavenderpink_30]

Quando comecei a frequentar uma escola pública / americana, meninas não mestiças me perguntavam o tempo todo quais produtos eu usava para o meu cabelo, quando minha família vinha me buscar ou meus pais ficavam tão chocados perguntando se esses eram meus familiares e se minha mãe fosse minha mãe. Eu nunca percebi que era um grande negócio até mais tarde. Sorry, I will type in English too but I have had adults bully me too as a child for my skin tone and my hair typically non mixed older women it never made sense to me for a long time because in my family we are all pretty much mixed except for a few people and long hair was the norm and no one really made a big deal about certain stuff in my family really until I started to move and live in certain neighborhoods but eventually I figured out what was going on, a lot of self hate and unfortunately the projections of it took a toll on me for a very long time all the way up until young adulthood but over time I've learned to get back to my roots and love me for me and who I am and my family and our collective background. I'm proud to be mixed race, black, and multiracial, and I love having hair that grows fast and is soft and fluffy, and shiny and what was given to me through generations and it doesn't mean I have to nor hate anyone else's hair etc but their projections don't define me.

[@lester2588]

❤❤❤

[@EricaYE6]

All this hair-touching is so cringy. My hair is a part of my body. I value my personal space. All that hair-touching sounds like a nightmare! So sorry you went though all this toxic attention and abusive comments over your hair. Ever since you were a child, it sounds like.

[@abebasnagg1415]

Can you please talk on friends or close women hating on the men you attract and never complimenting the looks of the men you date? But expect you to do the same for them?

[@Aries.Goddess30]

Omg 😢tying your hair to a fence is so traumatic 💔💔😡😡😡

[@Secrets889]

Sad but true