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To the person reading this:
You are doing great. I know life is full of twists and turns and lots of unpleasant surprises. Sometimes, I wish there was a blueprint, some sort of map, that could guide me on this journey but it sucks knowing that there isn't one.
I was often told that I was quite a little prankster when I was younger and it was true; I loved making people laugh. Somewhere, somehow, that part of me disappeared as a grew older. Maybe I just grew tired of it? Maybe I became more serious? Or maybe I just learned to be quiet in fear of being judged by others. Society is a scary thing. We all yearn to be accepted, to fit in, to be like everyone else that we often shave off our true selves in order to fit into a mold that society has set for us. By doing so, we are conforming, we are drained of our essence, our spark, until the only colors left in our system are black and white. But the world was never that simple. The world we live in is made up of a myriad of colors because why? Because the world was designed so that each and every person can bring their own unique flare, their own unique color into this world.
"She doesn't get it. "
"She won't understand."
You're right. I won't even try to act like I understand because this is your battle. Each person goes through their own pain, their own set struggles. And although I may not be able to understand, I will always be here to encourage you. You need to learn how to take the proper steps to your own goal and learn to make decisions that will benefit YOU. The problem in today's world is that we are putting our lives in the palms of other people. We are allowing other people to make our decisions for us. You asked why you cannot receive love. But how can you expect others to love you, when you don't even love yourself?
Take a look in the mirror. Do YOU like who YOU are right now? Are YOU happy with where YOU are in life? If not, change it. Become better. But do it because YOU want to, not for anyone else. Life is a precious thing and we are all very lucky to experience it together. Don't waste time focusing on the wrong things. So what if you have made a mistake? We all do. Accept it, learn from it, and move on, be better. Just don't give up, ever. The world could really use your light.
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