BOOK REVIEW: "Good Families Don't Just Happen"

by Catherine Musco Garcia-Prats and Joseph Garcia-Prats
VD AND TRANSCRIPT IN COMMENTS (by ASLCaptions.com)

[@oceanlover1234]

Agreed with what you signed! Lack of discipline everywhere 😢 All parents should be required to read this book!!!!

[@todayiawaken]

[VD: asian woman wearing black short sleeved shirt and white striped bottoms sitting on black leather couch with part of a bookshelf showing behind her right] [TRANSCRIPT] Hello! Today, I will be reviewing this book, “Good Families Don’t Just Happen,” written by Catherine Musco Garcia-Prats and her husband Joseph Garcia-Prats. Ok. So. How did I get this book? Really, I was just walking in my neighborhood--you know how some houses have a “free library” outside in a small box, and you can just take or place any books, whichever is up to you. It’s free for anyone in the area. I am currently a mother to two young children. I’ve been wondering about my husband and my parenting style, was it good? I felt like we were struggling in some areas and we could improve somehow. And so this book. Especially during the pandemic, honestly, while going through it, my parenting style had to simply be good enough. I’m constantly in survival mode, so I just make sure the kids are fed, sleeping, and having some kind of educational stimulation while they’re staying at home for nearly a year. As for screen time, I didn't bother. It was all good enough, but now I don’t want that to continue. I want to really enjoy parenting and such… That’s where I am now. First, before I start talking about the book, I want to recognize--do I identify with the family, with the mother who really wrote most of the story. Do I identify with her? No. One, I don’t have a big family. I’m an only child. Two, the mother stayed at home while raising her children. Later, she did go back to school, to work, but right now, my children are still young. So, sometimes her advice or explanations of day-to-day tasks, how she made sure everything was taken care of, these didn’t quite apply to me. Three, the family is deeply religious. Really, religion is the foundation of her family’s values. I am not a religious person. I do have a relationship with spirituality, yes, but religion is not a part of my life. Really, even though I don’t identify with her, it doesn’t mean I can’t learn from her. I did. I took away many valuable lessons from that book, that family. One. The topic of discipline had the biggest impact on me and my family. She emphasizes on figuring out what the appropriate consequences are for specific misbehavior, and then STAYING with it, discussion-dry. She mentioned that sometimes parents neglect to follow through with the consequences, because it becomes an inconvenience the longer you uphold it. No. It’s better to bear with these minimal inconveniences now, than allowing the misbehavior to continue in the long run. For example, my four-year-old kid, sometimes I, especially with the pandemic, with the both of them at home all day, I’m figuring out when I can do my errands. When the baby’s asleep, and the four-year-old’s iPad time aligns perfectly, I can do my errands in that window. And then the four-year-old pushes his sister, so I give no iPad time as a consequence. But then I think, if the baby’s sleeping, what could he do? I need a break, I need to do other things. I made empty no-iPad threats, but then I gave it to him anyway so I can do other things. So that--she’s right. One thing I did with my husband after reading the book is discussing appropriate consequences for various misbehavior, trying not to overdo or minimize them. Then, we stayed with it. Actually, during the first week, my son had lost his iPad privileges, and tried to talk back. I kept saying yes, that I’m taking it. And then I held on to my other errands. I kept my focus on him and did other things with him. I followed through. And he’s already improving--not 100%, of course, but I could see a difference immediately. She also asserts that children are the priority, period. She’s seen some families that feel like children are disruptive, distracting them from their TV time, from their things. She says no. Prioritize your children. That hit me hard, because I do admit, sometimes I forget that. Sometimes, I do feel like when I’m on a break, on my phone, and the kids come to me and I feel like it interrupted my phone time. Or in the early mornings when I do my yoga, but then the kids wake up early. They barged in on my morning time alone. Yes, I felt that way sometimes. The book helped me turn it around, that the children are my priority. Everything else comes second. Of course, it’s important to have some balance, we all sometimes need our “me” time, yes. But it did make a positive impact on my mentality. Yes, the children are my priority. Of course. I had to let go of other things that weren’t as important. The last thing I truly appreciated from the book is the way the parents affirmed that they want to enjoy their children as people. Their uniqueness, talents, special interests, unique personalities, the parents enjoy their time with them. It means, for example, a little off topic, but they never shared report cards. The report cards are between the child and the parent. So the children didn’t need to know each other’s cards or make unhealthy competitions. That also applies to how one might be incredibly talented at sports while the other isn’t, but the bottom line is to not compare. This child is awesome, they enjoy doing it, and they’re great at it? Encourage them. This other child, what about them, their interests? That’s fine. Encourage them too, so that each child can be inspired and know their parents support them so they can pursue their own true interests. That is definitely what I want to do with my children as well. One con is that this book can be judgmental at times. They would compare themselves with other families, and show how they did things differently. It can feel judgmental. And, this book started to get repetitive towards the end. Would I recommend this book to any other parents? Hmm. A single parent might not find it helpful, and for people who might feel triggered by the excessive mentioning of religion, this book wouldn’t be a good fit. As for me, I appreciated it. It was an easy read, and another family’s stories, it felt like I was glimpsing their lives and seeing how they do it. Some points could apply to me, and some couldn’t. I feel that I benefited from reading the book, yes. My rating? Four out of five stars.

[@DeafCaveman]

Thanks for sharing your book review. Appreciate you taking time to share your insight and experience being parents nowadays.

[@todayiawaken]

You’re welcome! Thank you for watching 😊