Boris Johnson - Make a Wish!

[@vivienclogger]

The lizard or the snake? The OFFICIAL title of the final round between the 2 Tory contenders.

[@paulharrion3398]

I read a quote the other day saying that if Lizard becomes PM we will have to invent new words for stupid...

[@serinadelmar6012]

“Are there any children that she could be filmed taking milk away from?” 😂 thanks Matt!

[@RichWoods23]

Now that definitely brings back childhood memories...

[@t.p.mckenna]

So nice to be reminded of Snatcher Thatcher when she cancelled free milk for primary school kids as Ted Heath's education secretary.

[@SkyEcho7]

😂🤣🤣🤣😂 Dive! Dive! "We could make Nadine Dorries Defence Secretary for a bit" 😬Top threat😱

[@SamLowryDZ-015]

If nothing else the Milk Snatcher gag alone should inform the Tory party that the public has a very long memory and can hold a grudge longer than Ted Heath.

[@re1644]

Tyson never hit that hard in his heydays... you almost killed that poor guy, I mean he even can't afford his own wallpaper 🤣😂🤣😂

[@leftrightandcentre833]

True humour is making the deepest tragedies become funny. Thanks for helping us cope, Matt!

[@adblocker276]

Well said

[@jessicamilestone4026]

Here, Here!

[@somethingelse4878]

Matt is classic funny

[@hotelmario510]

The delivery on "Three-SOME!" is the best part

[@mochynddu723]

You had me at "shiny chair".

[@Rodiacreed]

Hilarious like always. "Some of them might be his" lol

[@tamara3984]

Loving the milk line

[@piccalillipit9211]

The milk one was very good...

[@melmo5218]

My surgeon in the country where I live said that I have incredibly dense and strong bones. I put it down to the free milk I had as a schoolkid. That was when the government recognised that the next generation was an investment.

[@toadmeister1964]

Lizard or snake? Why are you always so spot on Matt?

[@maryclynch9356]

Matt you had me laughing from the start. You should be PM. You know the score. LOL

[@jennys1983]

Brilliant as always, the Milk Snatcher reference is perfect!

[@bodricthered]

'We could make Nadine Dorries defence secretary for a bit....'. Ouch, that's got to sting...

[@sarkybugger5009]

Depressingly true, and truly depressing. Can I suggest sky-diving? I'll even offer to pack Boris' parachute. 😉😉

[@rodoherty1]

That last line is brilliant!!!!

[@uweinhamburg]

'Nothing big, just removing a gall bladder or something' nearly fell from the chair mate!! I guess there would be hundreds of volunteers from the hardcore cult camp for this, most with perfectly healthy gall bladders.....

[@MrSensible2]

This is simply sublime! A true work of genius & (sadly) so true to life....

[@Davetouring]

Underlined 🤣

[@vc...---...]

Just had to stop what I'm doing at the moment as I need a steady hand. It was no use trying to carry on through the laughter as I listened to you!

[@pamelathomas8759]

Loved the line about 'some of the kids might be his'. Great video, yet again, matt. Looking forward to the next one 😀

[@janetgough6585]

Ah, bless. He's never wanted much, has he? Supermarket Sweep in Harrod's truly nailed it 😹

[@piccalillipit9211]

The milk one was very good...

[@henrygingercat]

Perfectly tuned as ever - best laugh on youtube.

[@brighton_dude]

I bet the Nadine Dorries threat has been used in real life 😀

[@geoffreynolds4740]

This is therapy. Like a whole packet of fig rolls! So tragic yet so enjoyable

[@221BSam]

“Too risky, some of them might be his…“ love it! 😂

[@lesleyedgley8371]

Thanks for this, as always. If we couldn't laugh we'd be gibbering in a corner...or discussing pork markets 😁😁

[@apsaraarts7462]

What an astute observation on politicians' character cleverly put together in a satire.

[@maryfenton958]

Wonderful.. you cheer me up Matt. Lots od good material on the way for you. I loved the one about Andrew... "she'll know what I mean".... priceless! 😂

[@GlennLeinster]

Great video Matt

[@annemoncrieff3875]

Charity starts at home and boy does bojo adhere to this mottó.

[@PaulZarb1060]

Superb as always. Hope the modest contribution helps. 🖖

[@MattGreenComedy]

Thanks Paul! 🙏🏻

[@vilena5308]

"I say hat, you say crown." 🤣😂🤣

[@Dewsta26]

Loooool perfection as per usual mate

[@upontheroof]

A good one, thanks once more for making the day a little more enjoyable and sane.

[@dfishpool7052]

Great work Matt! This has cheered me up no end - many thanks - loved the 'Dive, dive'!

[@melmo5218]

I'd be more impressed with soldier boy BoJo if he could spend 72 hours in a damp trench without sleep.

[@williammoxham9556]

Thanks again. Saw that photo of Johnson in his oversized army kit, no doubt made just for him, can't be standard issue, they blurred the faces of the men sitting with him, if looks could kill and all that, maybe. If he had made a visit to my old unit I would have offered a game of Murder Ball.

[@mrpositronia]

More! At least until they force through a law banning political satire (targeting Tories, obviously).

[@justsayen2024]

That's so hysterical😂🤣😅 Yeah Boris is on his bucket list farewell tour having a blast😃 While you're at home... Eating Ramen from from From 2000s or something, Because p&o ferrys canned you..

[@aden2957]

Superb 🤣

[@nickimags1335]

Superb especially that last bit about Liz! 😂

[@chloehayllar6195]

Hilarious 😂

[@matthewjohnson6886]

😂 again perfect 🤔 every day was always like a school trip. Check out today's news and Boris would be getting in the way at a railway museum or around the side of your local B&Q asking a lorry driver about haggis 😂 another like from me 👍

[@skylib2452]

:-) a tenner says half of them will be ticked off the list in the next few months ?

[@petermills542]

😄 Very nicely done indeed!!

[@derekp2674]

Brilliant, thanks Matt.

[@alexgrafe]

Fantastic work!

[@jacquelinedeigan776]

Perfect as always..

[@andunabu3238]

Brilliant Matt!

[@johnpritchard8946]

My three wishes: 1. World peace, love and harmony. 2. No more Tories 3. A Matt Green show on the telly.

[@lowerorchard]

Why only 17.6K subscribers? Matt is pure genius. Comedy gold, except it’s all true 😳

[@billcar6805]

Matt Green.... please talk 'Matthew Holness' (if ya still know him) into making more 'garth marenghi's darkplace' please. Love your channel, great craic.

[@MattGreenComedy]

Ha - I do still know him but there is approximately 0% chance of more Garth I'm afraid...

[@billcar6805]

@@MattGreenComedy Thanks for the reply Matt, i appreciate it. Ah well, very dissapointing to say the least, I love everything about that show. why do you say 0%? he must have mentioned that he was never going to make more? What did you think of the show?

[@MattGreenComedy]

@@billcar6805 it's a fantastic show but it's over 20 years old now and all of the cast have gone on to many other things so I just think it's not going to happen. I like how it's a perfect single series. Although Man to Man with Dean Learner is good fun too.

[@billcar6805]

@@MattGreenComedy 'I like how it's a perfect single series.' That it was, perfect. 'Man to Man with Dean Learner'... another craic'n show. Dean is a great character and played excellently by Richard Ayoade. Dean Learner shooting the shotgun at the funeral in the first episode of darkplace, side splitting funny. To be honest, i could type out every scene and finish with 'side splitting funny'. Thanks again for your reply. Love your humour too, well done.

[@ghengis430]

The queen's hat. 😂

[@louisokeefe8307]

Class...

[@magallamadge1532]

Omg your so funny, thank you Sir xx

[@12theotherandrew]

Right on bro!

[@vishmaster09]

I only got the iron joke the 2nd time round. 😂

[@wildman2012]

Could you explain for a Yank?

[@acolli777]

@@wildman2012 Thatcher was known as the "Iron Lady"

[@bristolrovers27]

Another excellent video

[@mirabeaux851]

“Too risky. Some of them might be his.” 😂

[@jodders619]

If only there was somebody that was deeply favoured by the Tory party in the past that they could write a letter to 'fix it for them'. Oh wait they did, the Met police.

[@notadoctora7956]

Loved it

[@CMI2017]

Another trip inside a fridge would be good, perhaps with the thermostat turned to -50C.

[@clivemortimore8203]

Ok Two things, the first is very important, is there a copy of the photo of him bowling that anti personal grenade showing more of the railway wagon behind him? It is either a late build LMS 13 ton open or a BR 13 ton open. I need to check if it has automatic vacuum brake gear or not because it is painted grey which suggest it should not have AVB. Second, it took too long to write my puffer nutter request I have now forgotten what the second one is apart from another funny video. Thought of a third one. Little did I know that the other weekend when he was playing those magnificent men in their flying machines he was in one of the noisy jets scaring our horses. The RAF do a lot of that around where I live but not normally on a Saturday.

[@somethingelse4878]

I'm sure we would all like to see Jim Fix It for Boris

[@jantaylor7102]

Hahahaha 🤣😂

[@johncoffey1483]

Brilliant video, johnson deserves a few treats for lifting our spirits by resigning.

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

I'll do the 'snog Kylie Minogue' thing, if nobody else is keen. Thanks a lot.

[@jeremymerrifield7244]

You want to dress up as Kylie and snog Johnson ? disgusting

[@RM-rp6hx]

Matt, this is getting proper scary now - too close to the truth ! But please don't stop.

[@zetectic7968]

For a bit I thought the Tories had recruited someone terminally ill. Another great skit with a wonderful twist in the tail or is it tale? Sorry Thatcher imposed comprehensive education on me with mandatory French but sans grammar.

[@neothurmic3780]

"Lizard or Snake" How could we have known the answer would be both?

[@laxeystu8096]

Very funny

[@notreallyhere67]

"Who do you call to get turned into iron?" I can actually see Liz Truss asking that question after she's done snatching milk and closing down a mine...

[@anglonorse2943]

Johnson played at being PM too

[@martinsmith8487]

If only the sheeple of this country could differentiate between a charlatan and a Happy Monday 😡

[@jonrolfson1686]

Iron? Why Iron? If there is to be a Bridge to the Future would not a Steel Truss be more appropriate? A Steel Truss might usefully restore respectability for ‘Triangulation.’

[@rodoherty1]

Margaret Thatcher is known as The Iron Lady. Truss has been doing everything possible to be seen as Thatcher 2.0.

[@starmersbarber]

Close down a coalmine...🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@kbreslin7289]

Do wonder if Bojo is dying, he does have a Parkinson's risk and he is showing signs.

[@stan4723]

Attend COBRA meeting and rugby tackle a Japanese child over the age of 10.

[@hopeforbetter382]

Boris is a true combat flyer, helmet and all, just listening to one command “Brexit” and all other ideas lost its rumble!

[@ruthguthrie1099]

😂😂😂

[@JustMe-bx8gu]

Let us all pray Liz is going to be PM 😀

[@delvo76]

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

[@verttikoo2052]

🤣😂🤣😂

[@chrisfarrell8796]

😂👋

[@Sofus.]

👨‍🎨👷‍♂🤴👮

[@martinsmith8487]

Ironic a woman who allegedly models herself on a woman that was ‘not for turning’ has performed so many 😩

[@lovesees4320]

🐷💋🤭 🙏

[@ospreybird]

:-)

[@PurityVendetta]

Are you sure this is actually satire Matt 🤔

[@lovesees4320]

Thought I'd let you cheer me Up Mat God, what a Sht Show 🤡🌎 🌚🤑 🕊️

[@jeaniebottle6758]

I was not the Jeanie who granted Boris loads of wishes. But I will grant one wish for him now, that of much much more time with his family, especially his children. 🧞‍♀