Boy Meets Girl / Douglas Wilson on Relationships

Douglas Wilson speaks to the young men and women at Collegiate Reformed Fellowship (CRF) at the University of Idaho on dating, men and women, and marriage.
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This video is brought to you by Christ Church in Moscow, Idaho and Canon Press

[@hanc4547]

I listen to Doug's sermons simply to hear him laugh at his own jokes...priceless

[@ruskyivanich2107]

I do enjoy his jokes myself

[@HoseaCuervo]

Man I hope these kids know how blessed they are to have this sort of advice and counsel lol I wish I had it in college

[@brettmagnuson8318]

Same!

[@blanchet2531]

Yepp🙋‍♀️

[@JonJaeden]

Excellent teaching. It stirred a question for me. If the husband's role is to love his wife and the wife's to respect her husband ... and if the church is the bride of Christ ... have evangelicals flipped the roles between Christ and the church by gravitating to Jesus-is-my-boyfriend songs in their worship? It seems the older hymns reflect a solemn respect for God and a lot of newer music could have been penned in a teenage girl's diary.

[@brettmagnuson8318]

Yes. And we men need to stand up and change that.

[@Lutomoria]

Just look at the lyric content; hymns tend to be far richer in truth and doctrine.

[@torridknight783]

Very interesting point

[@5va]

@@Lutomoria I always though it was because I had old fashioned taste coz most of my peers don’t like the hymns like I do.

[@joncilbonk9801]

You're spot on brother.

[@jamesh7916]

Said hi AND smiled? Game over!

[@calvinsbeard7423]

That was a great bit at the end about what masculine piety looks like. A shining example from history: Knox, while a galley-slave, was once ordered to worship a portrait of Mary. Instead, he tossed it into the sea, saying, "Our lady is light enough; let her learn to swim!" I would contend that an essential element of masculine piety involves being a troublemaker when trouble needs to be made. Now let's get out there and slay some dragons!

[@3leon306]

John Knox? another boring Nestorian heretic

[@--i-am-root]

@@3leon306 John Knox rejected the L in TULIP because he considered the implications of it to point to the Nestorian heresy mcdanell99(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2013/02/12/a-nestorian-heresy-john-knox-his-rejection-of-particular-redemption/

[@Michael_Chandler_Keaton]

Lol I love how modern theology has been so watered down and dominated by ignorance that folks now try to claim anybody that doesn't worship Mary is a Nestorian.

[@SaintNektarios]

@@Michael_Chandler_Keaton I am a conservative Catholic and have a lot of reverence for Mary as the mother of Jesus. I don't like hearing what Knox did to the mother, but I respect Knox for his faith and courage. All of Christianity needs more men like John Knox in these times.

[@bothan_janitor6495]

This was both incredibly helpful but also a giant slap in the face for how far I need to go in order to actually be a godly husband in the future and for my role in marriage to be Christ-exalting with how He's wired me. Guess it's time to just pursue Christ and let Him renew me because that gap is far too wide for me to bridge.

[@zapazap]

On *Jane Austin* First, great video! I remember first reading Austen's _Sense and Sensibility_ in my late twenties (I was married at the time) and thinking to myself: _it would have been so helpful for me to have read this in my teens!_ It taught me about relationships. It taught me about propriety. I recommend her work for all young men (just as I recommend masculine literature to young women.) (More beneficial, by far, than _Romeo and Juliet,_ as a staple in the school curriculum, but don't get me started on schooling.)

[@earlofbroadst]

The Bard is excellent, but Romeo and Juliet is overrated and far too easily misunderstood by teenagers. Jane Austen is much safer ground. With her, the point is almost always inescapably clear.

[@HappySlaveOfChrist]

After the 20 minute mark is where he starts talking about the zone of vulnerability. Very, very helpful.

[@pietervandeventer8791]

Love your talks, Pastor Doug!

[@s.e.garcia3635]

Loved this message! Super helpful

[@christophertaylor9100]

The love/respect thing I see this way: obviously both need and are owed love and respect. But each side is being told to do the thing that they are less likely to do naturally. Men will more readily offer respect. Women more readily offer love. Paul tells them the other side to remind them of what they aren't as inclined to do.

[@RebekahNicole]

Wow that was tremendously helpful! Thank you so much Pastor Wilson! 😁

[@joyprasad9923]

This was so good!!!

[@kated4359]

This one was SO funny!!! Super-informative, too, but beyond funny!!!

[@daphnekaburara9663]

Thanks Musumba ( Pastor) Doug. I love your sense of humor.😅

[@jackjones3657]

This is great. What a practical, real world application of God's Word. We so badly need intelligent, biblical teaching on the differences in God's design of man and woman!

[@tatumleethomas]

Brilliant speach!

[@SintijaKeire]

Thank you! 🙏🙌

[@phazon6179]

Couple of gems: Women have to be submissive to their husband Men have to be devoted to their wife Men run on respect Women run on love Men focus on the mission Women focus on the relationship

[@rosagoglia4649]

Thanks

[@merryhall3722]

I really appreciate that men ought to know what they are aiming for befor starting a romantic relationship with a girl. I was fortunate as a young women. I was verbally very clear day one, that dating was to aim toward marriage. If marriage wasn't of interest anytime soon or at all. Then i wasnt interested. Scared everyone away except my husband. Which saved me from a lot of hurt and wasted time I watched many of my friends and acquaintances go through.

[@MrFrog-rc3zx]

Amen

[@jdc9258]

A lot of what was said was very very good. Just one note. While it is true that the Ephesians 5 passage does not teach all women are to submit to all men, the Bible does teach there is a submission in a general sense per the ontological difference between man and woman. There is a need to distinguish between the General and the Particular. In this way, something can be true and false at the same time. But we must distinguish. In what way is it true? In what way is it false? A man opens a door for a woman he is not married to due to this ontological difference. That men and not women are to be the candidates in an election is an example of women per her ontology of her sex, submits generally to all men. After the election, those specifically under the leadership of said officer will submit to him particularly- this will include both men and women, but it will only cover those within the sphere of his authority and not outside of it.

[@Roescoe]

Yes, the masculine and feminine pattern it is a fractal truth. I think the point is that if Man and Woman are fulfilling their roles this will naturally occur.

[@JackHHartnett]

♥️

[@GodsServant543]

This requires that a women is at a place where her foundational thought life, perspective, and understanding of life and God is adequate to make a sound judgement, not an emotional one.

[@douglasmcnay644]

Sadly, even the men these days seem to make all of their decisions on emotions, not thought.

[@ericjames7819]

No, it requires a woman's father to do this. Women's nature makes them incapable of it.

[@GodsServant543]

Difficult to hear him use this from a emotional perspective, when Paul directly explains “HOW” Christ loved the church. He speaks about making her holy, washing her with the word, etc etc. Not buying her flowers. That’s simple, that’s easy, that’s common sense. The remind in today’s society would certainly need to loving them in a way that makes them like God. That’s what Christ did to the church.

[@petrischoltz3541]

What about Ephesians 5:25?

[@ericjames7819]

Women making long term decisions leads to bad long term outcomes. This includes dating and courtship. The modern system of dating inevitably leads to widespread divorce.

[@berglen100]

Observation blinds every century, Luke 17:20And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation: 21Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

[@CEOofSleep]

22:40

[@dmustakasjr]

25:00 ok Doug, how do you untangle this situation? Already made a mistake as a parent allowing this passive 8mos circumstance to happen.

[@maxmaximum-sh4bx]

23:35 😂😂😂

[@timvandermey4792]

Piper Piper comment about Piper.

[@thirstypilgrim97]

How about Piper and Phil Vischer

[@timvandermey4792]

@@thirstypilgrim97 Vischer is a no one, no me. But yes. I should have added Tripp. Piper and Tripp please.

[@jackjones3657]

Yes, It is so disappointing to see how fearful so many "celebrity preachers" are to take a strong biblical stand that could be politically incorrect! They are at least as concerned with offending their congregants and the secular world as they are to preach biblical Truth!

[@NJHProductions512]

man, when ever Doug starts talking about hw boys work I feel like I am looking in a mirror.

[@CovenantBlackwatch09]

12:07 - Titus 2:4 "and so train the young women to love their husbands and children," literally "to be lovers of husband and lovers of children." (φιλάνδρους and φιλοτέκνους) I don't see any justification for loosening the meaning of φιλός into "I'm cool with having a husband and children." Should we loosen φιλόθεοι in 2 Tim 3:4 to mean "being interested in God?" Should Romans 12:10 (τῇ φιλαδελφίᾳ εἰς ἀλλήλους φιλόστοργοι τῇ τιμῇ) really just say "be cool and alright with having brothers [in the Lord]?"

[@colinericburriss]

A wife is only to love her husband if he is her enemy.

[@mazklassa9338]

I still don't understand how secular relationships, even between men and women, with true fidelity because there's no one else conveniently "better" in all areas of aggregate averages etc., are so much in peril without the Christian framework underpinning that fidelity, even though it is secular?🤷‍♂️

[@tayzk5929]

That's a difficult comment to try to understand

[@mazklassa9338]

@@tayzk5929 yes it was a bit obtuse. What I was trying to say was that fidelity is required by one or both (more or less so than one's passion for the other, perhaps) partners to be faithful and not "cheat". What PDW and the general Christian ethos is emphasising is that it's a sin to cheat. Why is it telling us something we already "know" deep down within us?

[@KennethSee]

@@mazklassa9338because the law of God is written in your heart already. The Word simply expounds it further.

[@therealkillerb7643]

"There's not one place in the Bible where women are told to love their husbands..." Well, there is one place where older women are specifically commanded to teach/train younger women how to love their husbands (Titus 2:40). If older women have this responsibility, then by Mr. Wilson's logic, there must be a corresponding need by younger women that this duty meets. Not disagreeing with him here; more nitpicking. But I strongly suspect that the differences between our modern English understanding of the word "love" differs significantly from what the New Testament authors had in mind.

[@masontenpenny407]

He mentioned this passage later in the video 😊

[@Ike26203]

Did you watch the whole video or?

[@tomhitchcock8195]

Haven’t millions of men and women had good marriages love and respect who one or both were unsaved?

[@sweetsue6177]

No. Hidden things to men are not hidden to God.

[@terrancenewman9776]

That's a question I have wondered for some time now. If the couple is unsaved, is God in agreement with their marriage? Is their marriage considered good in the eyes of God?

[@douglasmcnay644]

@@terrancenewman9776 God has allowed for even the unsaved to be blessed by wealth, health, and other good gifts. So he has also blessed them with the gift of marriage, even if the people have not truly taken their vows in acknowledgment to Him. So if they are faithful to each other and don't lust after other people but each other, then they aren't going to be guilty of that particular sin, at least not while they are married. However, they are still destined for hell unless they are called by Him.

[@_BirdOfGoodOmen]

Yes. And plenty of bad ones too. I'll be honest, many who call themselves ✝️ aren't. I'd rather marry a virtuous non-Christian than an alleged Christian.

[@aisforamerica2185]

The more I learn about orthodoxy, the more I am ashamed of the Protestant church. We are in shambles thinking we have to "keep up with the times." God help us.

[@THJSTrickshots]

Why just the protestant church? It's not like Rome is holding fast to orthodoxy 😂

[@aisforamerica2185]

@@THJSTrickshots yes, you make a fair point.

[@Tracy-Inches]

Are you at a comedy club Doug?

[@mkshffr4936]

Being that it is a college group it likely does resemble a comedy club.

[@chucksandelin9242]

You need to study 1st Tim2 : 12.

[@jetrpg22]

So i guess women in the church should be loud and chastize men as long as they dont have a living father or husband... not; entire story failed. The difference is as with God when you have a husband, father, or Lord your submission to them is greater than others. As with an earthly king or secular power we are told not to oppose these things, but thats not NEVER. We should oppose anti Christ like things.

[@daltonbrasier5491]

"Everybody winds up creamed" was a poor choice of words.

[@B10401]

xD

[@InternetJules]

Buy your husband some flowers. Give your wife some real respect.

[@jackjones3657]

With all due respect God's design is to preserve and protect, not pervert and oppress. Which is literally opposite of the modern cultural narratives.

[@sitka49]

@@jackjones3657 love your wife but don't respect her how do you love someone if you don't respect them without them being a tool. that sounds perverse and oppressive to me

[@QuantumParticle]

@@sitka49 take it up with the Bible if you have a problem with that.

[@sitka49]

@@QuantumParticle The book written for men on how to treat women? Keep your mouth shut and And dress modestly? Thy shall not covet thy neighbor's wife thy neighbor's male slave or thy neighbor's female slave or his oxen or donkey or anything of thy neighbor. So it has the wife lumped in with the livestock and slaves . But it doesn't really say anything about coveting thy neighbor's husband, But we're suppose to assume it's a implied. So what parts do we take literally and what parts supposed to imply on ? The one where a goat and two oxen and you get a pretty good wife? That Bible?

[@QuantumParticle]

@@sitka49 Yes that Bible. Though i don't think you're honestly quoting it, nor interpreting correctly.

[@keithwilson6060]

I’m pretty sure Doug had a few drinkie-poos before this session.

[@cletuswyns]

How do you figure?

[@keithwilson6060]

@@cletuswyns He’s way more giddy than usual here, laughing at his own witticisms. And he often drinks hard liquor openly on air when he has interviews with guests (who are also drinking). I suspect that he’s an alcoholic.

[@cletuswyns]

@@keithwilson6060 point taken

[@sayloltothetroll6806]

Sure he's not just coked to the gills?

[@mkshffr4936]

Doubt it very much. Sounds like his normal delivery to me.

[@jedidiahsojourner1917]

Well. Boy, a real man would have done real work, (physical labor) to not be a "fat baptist). Well, I must go now and pay my property taxes. Has your "church paid it's taxes yet or do the real people have to pick up the slack again? Oh, 501 3C exemption? Uhmmm, pay unto caesar what is Caesars? Am I expected to pick up your bar tab for you also? 🤔

[@melissa-ej2mj]

Hahahahaaa you sound offended by his meesage 😆

[@shelbycurry721]

That’s “Fat Presbyterian” to you!

[@jedidiahsojourner1917]

@@shelbycurry721 yes, satan did create denominational religeonisn to keep the contention happening. Well, that said let's go start another war somewhere, (in the name of gawd, of course)

[@sitka49]

Just remember to to give your 10% cause this pastor needs a 6 figure income and house in the suburbs'

[@brianrita03]

@@sitka49 the average pastor makes as much a the average first grade teacher. My are bi-vocational because the churches can’t afford to pay a salary

[@michaelsamuels9901]

umm i had respect for this guy till i saw a video of 3 pasters and a beer ?????

[@toddcote4904]

Why? What's wrong with having a beer? You realize Jesus made and drank alcoholic wine, right? So you'd be throwing stones at Jesus? Others did that to Him too.....

[@mkshffr4936]

I would prefer hard cider but I won't judge. :)

[@tayzk5929]

Jesus didn't drink alcoholic wine.

[@toddcote4904]

@@tayzk5929 What a naive thing to say... There's zero biblical support for that position, nor is there external support for that. Wine was fermented and was alcoholic. That's what all biblical and external sources support. Hence all the warnings against drunkenness.

[@douglasmcnay644]

@@tayzk5929 Then what were He and the apostles drinking at the last supper?

[@berglen100]

Paul is not recorded in any works of the first century outside of the Bible. So, you see, Paul is no more a person than Jesus Christ, Abraham, Isaac, or Jacob. These are simply names of eternal states of consciousness; and when you reach the state of Paul, the mystery of Jesus Christ will unfold within you and you will be set free.

[@akyle96]

That is the dumbest thing I've read today. Most people aren't recorded in history. They were still real. The bible is a historical document with more proof of it's accuracy than any other book *ever* The idea that you need to work toward salvation is disgusting and evil. Repent, you servant of darkness.

[@rockycomet4587]

Dude, what are you smoking?

[@totallyaaron1686]

What nonsense.