Boys locker room, Toxic Masculinity, and R*pe Culture - Hassan Kilde Bajwa - TPE

[@safdarakbari]

Shahzad, I am impressed by your work. Being younger, next generation to me, your grasp of issues and your views give me hope for today's Pakistan and Pakistan of future. Keep the good work up. I was super impressed by your interview of Tariq Ali. Well done

[@juwairiamulla4485]

When I was in Pakistan, I used to have no empathy for poor Pakistanis for their dangerous lack of information related to common sense and now that I live in a developed country, I can say that chacha bashirs and uncle joes exist every where. The problem are not these people. The problem is the systemic oppression of education and underdevelopment of critical thinking among masses. Your perceived reality is the sum of your current knowledge. Every time I open my mouth to bash them, I am doing nothing but touting my own privilege education. You need to change people’s perspective, have them trust the system first and make system work for them.

[@sadiakhalid92]

I loved this podcast. Thanks for talking about stuff like this.

[@mahamfaraz]

So very refreshing to see two men talking about this topic. More power to you!

[@sadiashoaib4974]

@@ThePakistanExperience www.thelastamericanvagabond.com/top-news/coronavirus-gives-dangerous-boost-darpas-darkest-agenda/

[@tinkapatosi1314]

I listen to 'ulamaa' creating a narrative that a momin is content in extreme poverty and hunger but has no control over his sexual urges. I ask myself, do they not listen to themselves? So Yousuf can resist the opportunity of sex with a queen while she was forcing herself on him but a momin mard can not resist harassing a girl who is minding her own business? Why don't they tell that a momin has grace, dignity, decency and elegance. By lowering his gaze he is trying to protect himself from zina not the lady. I guess it is the stigma of being harassed , the victim shaming, that is the biggest cause of this culture along with double standards that are a norm in desi households. Girls are supposed to be young, fair, doctors, experts in cooking and cleaning, able to give birth to multiple male childs, polite, shy... boys are supposed to have a Y chromosome, and they are superior.

[@hisisters9324]

Girl preach 👏👏👏 i hv been facing these double standards too

[@tinkapatosi1314]

Omg the coeducation stuff. Dammit. I have no brother. I was not allowed to talk to male cousins. I studied in all girls school and college. When i got admitted to medical college I was still not allowed to talk to boys, (my sister even insisted i get admitted to f.j medical college) i started realising how unhealthy it has been, i am becoming a doctor and i dont know how to talk to a man without my heart racing to 150. My mom's theory was that when you get a rishta, those people will send a spy to know your reputation from your medical college, doctor girls have a reputation of being besharam, the fact that you have not talked to any boy your whole life will make you an honourable bahu and a trustworthy wife. And Oh... i wanted to be an engineer but my dad talked me out of it as girls have no place in engineering. I planned on 'failing' my entry test but overheard my dad saying even if she fails her entry test we ll spend the money we have kept for her wedding and get her admitted to a private medical college.

[@noorulhuda7487]

May Allah help you

[@tinkapatosi1314]

@@noorulhuda7487 ameen

[@sadiashoaib4974]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iKe9kpmaZaeDhZo

[@Stan-jo7jy]

I felt bad after reading your comment but at a same time I feel relieved that at least you know it's unhealthy for you. Most girls aren't able to do even this. They think it's Normal and it's okay to be segregated from guys. But actually, all of this eventually affects us in being a good human being, be kind to other despite their identity and later on, as a mother. This is all they teach their own daughters, treating their sons and daughters differently without even knowing that they are wrong. Creating such sons who think girls are 'supposed' to be naive just like his sister. It's sad. Anyways, I feel happy to see that at least you are not ignorant. May Allah help you find your true personality and work on it confidently. Ameen.

[@sobiaayub7099]

May you achieve whatever you want happily

[@saimajay4195]

Thank you for educating our men. Yes ..we can’t be expected to be therapists either. You guys really get it! 🙌🏽👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@faizaahmed1786]

Great conversation. It is amazing that you decided to talk about this topic 👍🏼

[@faizan5090]

Fantastic chat. Very insightful, truthful and relatable as a desi man.

[@tinkapatosi1314]

And what he said about scolding her friend for coming to a cricket match is so true. That shame and blame coming from a loved one is far influential than the cat calls themselves. When your moms hides from your that you were cat called in bazaar and whispers, "Have you no shame, why wasn't your head covered, why did you go alone" has far lingering toxicity than that guy who pulled on your dopatta in anarkali. Because then you unknowingly start blaming yourself and every other girl for being harassed.

[@D.S.84]

Such a lovely gupshup session ,Thanks Shehzad and Hasan❤

[@qasimrazaq7784]

In the time of pandemic, thank you for providing us opportunity to rethink our life.

[@faizairfan76]

Thank you guys for bringing such a fantastic educational podcast-

[@shrawaniverma4454]

Shehzad you have introduced me to a whole new class of progressive Pakistanis that I didn't know even exist. I actually thought it's what they show in dramas as they are too realistic. Wow!! this is awesome and so are you.

[@veenjharmemon8097]

Shehzad, please try to contact Julie (the khuwajasira who appears in TCM's Naked Truth) and invite her on your podcast

[@arifajamilsyed3042]

Yes please!

[@daniyaltariq541]

loved it like all of the other podcasts keep it up man❤️

[@noorulhuda7487]

Finally someone discussed this topic.. Glad🙌

[@ghazanfarali5763]

best podcast so far.

[@daggerassault]

Yaar , Nice Podcast . Now This is really good that we are addressing toxic masculinity and its ill effect to the society . Hassan is right that we have to engage and convince people that this is not right , and It is fundamentally wrong to objectify woman . You are doing the right thing man when you stand up to people for the right cause . Best of Luck! 👍👏

[@usmanakram1843]

As a libertarian, I posit that what group of men do privately should be none of anybody's business as long as it does not cause explicit interference in the lives of others. My perception in other people's mind is not my property, and it can never be owned by me. I have no right to control what individuals think or say about me privately in a group chat.

[@eshahjaved4401]

Of course. But when boys share images of girls taken from some really disturbing angles and comment on their bodies, and not only that, they actually go on telling each other what they'd do to them if they got the chance then that's a huge problem. I hope you understand that it's excruciatingly humiliating for a girl to come to know that her pictures are being taken without her knowledge and a group of guys is commenting on them in a private group chat.

[@mairahiqbal3173]

Khula gosht, methai ka dabba aur flies and cheel are examples given by teachers and religious scholars as an explanation why women are raped and thus you need to cover yourself!! 😡 This is pathetic mentality.

[@HeyyyWhazzuuup]

How I wish I could understand urdu right now... Could you put English subtitles?

[@RS-xu1dm]

Why it ended so soon... please bring him back !!!

[@taseenhaider3961]

45:45 54:30

[@sadiaanam8634]

Acha lgta hy pakistani mardon ko in mozuaat pe baat krty sunna keep it up

[@abeersyed1250]

Ufff maza agaya

[@kinimini9276]

21:00

[@Kingginthenorth]

Petition for shehzad to shave already

[@Kingginthenorth]

@@ThePakistanExperience 🤦‍♂️😩

[@saimajay4195]

What’s??!! He looks great with a beard.

[@Farooqjamal1]

♥️