"I Am Rich" - And Other Apps for Dumb People

[@StephenButlerOne]

Thr beer app was huge in the early days of smart phones. As was the zipo lighter one.

[@VincentGonzalezVeg]

the gun apps that allowed you to shoot

[@acash93]

the lightsaber app

[@Mersh_mellow]

I feel attacked because I had these all on my first smartphone.

[@curlyfats]

@@Mersh_mellow We all did, man. We all did.

[@aredjayc2858]

@@curlyfats Yup

[@sirsmartypants7086]

Simon - I should really read these beforehand. Me - Nah, love the format!

[@DEMOL1SHA]

Yes!!

[@brainblaze6526]

Haha yeah, its definitely become part of the style ;). Half facts, half reaction video.

[@InquisMalleus]

Never read them before, Simon! You add so much more this way!

[@KyrstOak]

@@InquisMalleus Agreed!

[@MYNAMEISSIN112]

Business Blaze 👋 Wrong channel , but this is what i m watching now Do a video about all people who stepped on the moon :-)pls

[@AlexielRaziel]

I love these videos. Love the personality coming through and PLEASE do the Amazon reviews!

[@TheLoneDragoon]

Yes, please, I need that in my life!!!!!

[@KiwiTigress]

Yes! Especially the Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears one! Hilarious 😂 And there's one for a hair removal cream that guys have used on their nether regions or something? Can't remember the brand though. I was crying by the end 😂😂😂

[@alaska2026]

Do you guys have a links for the videos you mentioned? Thanks :)

[@js00065]

I concur, it could be quite popular

[@--enyo--]

Or the ‘for her’ pens. But yeah. Three wolves was the best.

[@BamaChad-W4CHD]

I got some of these "I am rich" apps when they were offered for free on the play store. I thought it was hilarious to offer them for free on occasion

[@cmdr_thrudd]

Amazon reviews are so funny. 'Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum' is one of my favorites :D

[@KneeDeepInTheDead81]

I've always wanted an app that repeats "Hey Google!" and makes other phones say "Hey Google"

[@doranconall9995]

I would love an app where if we had a general or vague question like, is this a good idea, or where should i eat, or should i go to bed? we could just ask the app and we'd get Simon just giving us his best snarky and witty answer

[@MatthewStinar]

Like a sarcastic, British magic eight ball?

[@Aamon40]

I can totally get behind this app idea! 🤩

[@timothyneiswander3151]

I could probably sit through 15 minutes of Simon lampooning Amazon reviews. When I use to shop exclusively with Amazon for anything online, I use to find some doozies. Sometimes even the Q&A section can give you the chuckles. Pretty sure the really bizarre ones are fake reviews posted for entertainment because even I was prone to posting reviews with a troll account for...well, my entertainment.

[@heavymetalsteve]

Read the Amazon reviews for Haribo sugar free bears

[@hannahbrennan2131]

YES! Those are so hilarious!

[@jarodspade1]

I came to the comments to reccomend this. Glad I read them first.

[@christopherneelyakagoattmo6078]

"I now know what King Tutakhamen's re-hydrated testicle tastes like. Thanks Haribo."

[@KiwiTigress]

I fourth this motion! 😂

[@Superratis]

Yes please!

[@philkeene1895]

Simon is the first person to activate Siri on my phone. Ever. I had thought it was turned off. Then I remembered I bought a new phone a year ago. Siri has been turned off again.

[@eliscanfield3913]

There's a pen (from bic?) that's listed as "for women" and the amazon reviews are bloody hysterical!

[@801russc]

Damit Simon, I smashed the like button and broke my phone screen.

[@brainblaze6526]

NO REFUNDS.

[@brainblaze6526]

OKAY FINE. I have issued this refund to your bank account.

[@jonatanrullman]

What we clearly need is a 15 second legal disclaimer following every utterance of "smash". Preferably in a zoomed in, serious face straight to camera and with that classic fast paced rythm of we-don't-really-want-to-say-this-and-every-second-on-air-costs-a-mint.

[@BresciGaetano]

well "i'm rich" seem a lot like Manzoni "Artist's shit" cans. He was litterally selling his fecal mater and was officially accepted and prised as art.

[@RobKandell]

“Whaddya gonna do? I’m Picasso!”

[@TheSailorTenjou]

Selling shit is a little bit worse than the guy selling just his "idea of an artwork" as an actual artwork for a good chunk of money...

[@streakyanchovy]

Ah yes-The original gamer girl bath water.

[@ewestner]

Simon making a video just reading Amazon reviews: Yes please! Simon quitting KZbin to make iPhone apps: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

[@thegingergyrl455]

The lack of spell check and grammar correction in “professional” articles and legal agreements is staggering. I’ve unsubscribed or backed out of services because of it. If you can’t proofread, then I will go elsewhere.

[@MatthewStinar]

Interesting. Reminds me of the HumancentiPad episode of South Park because I would have no idea if there was a typo in my Comcast terms of service.

[@esecallum]

“Just so," said Bariano with equanimity. "But let me cite you a parable, or, if you prefer, a paradox. Assume that you are lying in bed asleep. Your dreaming brings you into the company of an alluring woman who starts to make exciting suggestions. At this moment a large dirty pet animal clambers upon the bed and sprawls its hairy bulk beside you with its tail draped over your forehead. You move restlessly in your sleep and in so doing press your face against one of its organs. In your dream it seems that the beautiful woman is kissing you with warm moist lips, causing a delightful sensation. You are thrilled and exalted! Then you wake up and discover the truth of the contact, and you are displeased. Now then: consider carefully! Should you enjoy the rapture of the dream? Or, after beating the animal, should you huddle cheerlessly in the dark brooding upon the event? Arguments can be developed in either direction.”

[@esecallum]

You are a very superficial fellow.noonevhas time for stupid punchtatinon. And Grammer nowadays.as long as you get the message that is all that counts.you must be really old and fossiled

[@Aamon40]

Can confirm. Grammar makes, or breaks, a contractual deal for me.

[@mrwarr]

The “is it dark outside” app is 100% necessary for anyone who works in a recording studio lol. In my experience, you can go days without catching a glimpse of a window.

[@claudiobizama5603]

Speaking of shirts, there's a market of oddly specific shirts, they show as ads and have specific info of yourself, like: "Never underestimate a forklift operator who likes scuba diving, was born on January and lives in California but is an Australian at heart". I speculate that it's an algorithm that gets your info (from Google or Facebook) and makes a shirt with your birth date, interests, where you live, what do you work on, etc.

[@DEMOL1SHA]

Both super cool and super scary at the same time....

[@soullesshonky1707]

That was a fun one. Loving this channel. And dont you DARE start reading them ahead. Your reactions are priceless,and the tangents are always funny. Keep it up

[@rachelhansen2417]

PLEASE do the great Amazon reviews 😂 and include the banana holder and 5 lb bag of sugar free gummy bears on that list.

[@SwoleCole89]

This is my favorite episode of this channel so far. And please, don't read the script beforehand. You've made that comment a couple times but honestly your initial reactions and improv are so on point. Makes it an element of fun in a short documentary

[@jasonpotter3126]

Love this channel, your candidness really sells it. Keep it up and never lose this schtick.

[@brainblaze6526]

Thanks :)

[@annalieff-saxby568]

Candour, dammit! NOT "candidness". There's no such word! Its CANDOUR (or, I assume, Candor in the US)

[@brainblaze6526]

No one cares.

[@FH-rp6zs]

The "Is It Dark Outside?' app makes me think of the beginning of the mockumentary What We Do in the Shadows, when Viago the vampire tells the camera that peeking through the curtains after he emerges from his coffin is the scariest part of each evening for him. Now there's a market for that app!

[@toshirodragon]

Best part of a Business Blaze video is Simon losing it and laughing so hard he can't go on. Please don't change the format!

[@authoralysmarchand4737]

This has quickly become my favorite channel. I remember all of these, though downloaded none because I'm not dumb enough.

[@roboticzamat]

I find it hilarious that Simon is the least "businesslike" on this channel, but the most relaxed. Also, Heinrich...... sounds like....um....not his name.....lol

[@AnnCatsanndra]

My mother is currently in a shared room in a nursing home and can't see the window from here bedroom. It's useful to be able to ask her Alexa Echo Show "Is it dark outside" and "is it night time" and we've had her get confused and call us at 2 in the morning before. Or at least, it WOULD be useful if it recognized her voice more often. Usually it just can't hear her.

[@esecallum]

“Just so," said Bariano with equanimity. "But let me cite you a parable, or, if you prefer, a paradox. Assume that you are lying in bed asleep. Your dreaming brings you into the company of an alluring woman who starts to make exciting suggestions. At this moment a large dirty pet animal clambers upon the bed and sprawls its hairy bulk beside you with its tail draped over your forehead. You move restlessly in your sleep and in so doing press your face against one of its organs. In your dream it seems that the beautiful woman is kissing you with warm moist lips, causing a delightful sensation. You are thrilled and exalted! Then you wake up and discover the truth of the contact, and you are displeased. Now then: consider carefully! Should you enjoy the rapture of the dream? Or, after beating the animal, should you huddle cheerlessly in the dark brooding upon the event? Arguments can be developed in either direction.”

[@Kadeo-ms6qw]

Sorry Simon I don’t believe that you will buy the t-shirt I still have yet to see a zebra mask

[@kd0407]

Until recently I worked for many years in the Cellular/Telecom industry representing one of the largest, most successful players in the game. Because of this, I already knew about the I Am Rich app and a few others discussed in this video. I vehemently agree with Simon in that these apps (and other similar screen based kitch) have often made me feel that my attempts to work diligently in ways that are genuinely useful to humanity are quite a waste of my time...that is if I'm only valuing my time on the money it might provide. While I fully believe in the undeniable value of money, there are certain things any driven academic or humanitarian just cannot do in clear conscience. Don't feel bad about choosing to not program frivolous functions no matter how lucrative they indeed can be. After all, I would have kept my original course to be a public educator if such hard truths had not become so evident to me at the outset of my youthful "professional" studies.

[@jdrissel]

The Amazon reviews idea is great. There's one I saw but it keeps getting taken for fully weaponized gummy bears. It covers the effects of eating a few too many sugar-free gummy bears. These bears are sweetened with a sugar alcohol that is also used as a pharmaceutical - as a laxative!

[@Nikademus1969]

I'm really liking the more laid back approach you guys are taking with things on this channel

[@chrismays2553]

Lol, I bought that 3 wolf Tee at a rummage store years ago and then learned years later in college that the shirt had a following, that's insane how crazy some people go over this thing!

[@InquisMalleus]

Amazon reviews the uranium cake - used for checking radiation detectors - include things like "not very fluffy, poor flavor, would not buy again", "I've had it in my pocket for 2 weeks and I still haven't become a mutant yet", or "I put this in my spider's cage for a few weeks before getting it to bite me, and I still have no superpowers" would be great to hear Simon read. But we Also need reviews from other ones. And I'm still waiting for you in that zebra mask Simon!

[@fatalgravity]

TBH when I first started seeing Business Blaze in my feed I was thinking "I like Simon but I don't really care about business stuff, so it's probably boring." but it's quickly becoming my favorite of your channels. I love the more freeform style and your reactions and jokes. PS did you ever make the Nintendo video you proposed in the aol video?

[@brainblaze6526]

Amazing, thank you. We did a video about "companies that started life as something different" which has Nintendo again :)

[@banpeinet]

A few years ago I watched the documentary "Czech dream" where the two filmmakers hyped a new fake none existent hypermarket and filmed the reaction of the people. Wouldn't that be an awesome subject for a future video? Also cover what happened after the documentary and what they do now. What impact did it have on the community in the end

[@ignitionfrn2223]

1:10 - Chapter 1 - I am rich 5:20 - Chapter 2 - Ibeer 8:35 - Chapter 3 - Will you marry me ? 13:05 - Chapter 4 - Screen cleaner 13:35 - Chapter 5 - Yo

[@monetflores8481]

You could do a video on really stupid things for sale on amazon that somehow have a great review ratio. I’m amazed by how some of these make people money.

[@andyn46]

There has to be at least 3 Simons with as much content as this dude produces

[@brainblaze6526]

Lol, only 3?

[@librasgirl08]

How about a video about the many channels of S.Whistler. The huge question, when does he sleep? Does he do other things beside testing war games; learning how to do things with programs; listen to news or reviews of no-fiction books; buy new outfits , glasses, watches online and mix drinks???

[@DEMOL1SHA]

yes! I need to know what is his favorite music? Movie? TV show? I could go on and on....

[@Rekuzan]

Engagement by smart phone app; made BY Introverts, FOR Introverts!

[@constipatedinsincity4424]

The most ridiculous part of this video is. The knowledge that people actually giving these apps full permission to access every nook and cranny of their mobile phones!🤓

[@edoremus01]

My Mormon friend in college would use this all the time. He would tell people he is an LDS member that drinks and then use the beer drinking app... Also, Simon do the episode about Amazon reviews and I included The Bluebook. It is the citation authority all American law students have to learn from. It's horrible.

[@billiemink77]

Although I am subscribed to all of your programs and truly enjoyed them I must say Simon without a doubt I ABSOLUTELY ADORE U ON THIS SHOW BEST

[@brainblaze6526]

Amazing. Thank you :). I know its super different to my other stuff, so it genuinely means a lot to me that people are enjoying this channel where I get to be myself more :) :)

[@wisteela]

Why did Apple even approve the first one? Yes, totally do an Amazon reviews one.

[@The_Chad_]

I SMASHED the like button so hard it broke my phone. I would have had more fun using the Send Me To Heaven app to break my phone

[@OkieOtaku]

I had an Android version of the "I am rich" app. Got it when it was being given out for free for 1 hour, lol

[@XDSDDLord]

Simon, I legitimately laughed out loud at that review. BTW, in the futur your Amazon review videod will be bomb (pretend I am writing to past Simon from 11/9/19).

[@ronniebon7163]

Does Simon know what sleep is?

[@brainblaze6526]

No need. I'm a robot sent from the future.

[@DEMOL1SHA]

Confession: I totally paused the video and immediately downloaded the *free* ibeer app. aaaannnndddd put the 3 wolf tee in my amazon cart. I love random stupid shit

[@ZeldaboyOG]

I remember when fidget spinners first came out someone made a fidget spinner app. All the reviews were about how the app cured their cancer, cured their aids, brought their dad home, fixed their parents marriage, made them more attractive, or in some way gave them super powers. It was rather great.

[@19mitch54]

"I Am Rich" - $999. Good thing this wasn't $1,000. That would have been ridiculous!

[@MrsShocoTaco]

Simon "Siri, is it dark outside?", *at which point, my tablet randomly went to sleep leaving my screen black...

[@shawnnewell4541]

The Pet Rock of computer apps.

[@katielancaster6376]

I adore that Simon does not read them before filming. It adds to the fun of this channel. Simon u have a near cult following. U could sell a cheap app named I am Simon. With only ur face on it and sell millions.

[@Arcanua]

That shirt's reviews are just like the ones for sugar free gummy bears, and how you can hear WW1 in the bathroom. xD

[@PopeSalty1]

I suppose that, given the notoriety it received, you could argue that the "I am rich" app could have some value to the 6 customers who own it. It would be interesting to see how much a phone with that app on it would go for on Ebay. It wouldn't be the first time people paid way too much for a perceived status symbol.

[@Biffo1262]

The 'I am rich' app is the digital version Hans Christian Anderson's 'The Kings New Clothes'. The King fell for it too!

[@LadyLexyStarwatcher]

I knew about the beer app shortly after it came out and wanted to make an app that allowed you to change drinks. I didn't make any progress on it and don't think it would be the same today.

[@QueenOfSh3ba]

Video topic suggestion - The insidious practices in the music business?

[@antiisocial]

14:47 I agree.

[@jjlegend3922]

The ibeer thing was fun at the time. Think about it, the iPhone just came out, and same with the iPod touch. I remember blowing everyones mind with the ibeer app. My grandma was amazed the liquid tilted with the screen. Obviously now, that app is laughable. But that was apps back then..

[@Caterfree10]

I would love a top ten Amazon reviews, that’d be fucking hilarious. Especially if any are half as good as the one three wolf shirt review.

[@kellyrickard9171]

Simon please don't ever change and Danny keep up the great writing.

[@toddroid]

How about the Amazon review(s) from people after eating sugar-free gummy bears?

[@blondangel79]

I would LOVE an Amazon review video.

[@annestiebing2950]

Once he said the puppy screen licker was a free download I was like Ok! And downloaded it. Had exactly 15.5 seconds of “Awwww! That’s so darn cute!” And moved on. It’s a cute couple of videos really.

[@electraelpindrai1964]

simon: who downloads apps for porn sites me: umm...

[@smokey91820]

The reviews for veet for men are quite amazing lol

[@brainblaze6526]

Will check out,

[@Arcanua]

You need to follow up on your idea with the most hillariously reviewed Amazon poducts! D: Must talk of the horror that is gummy bears. x3

[@TinkersTales]

What about HP, about 13 years ago I bought an HP Pressario Desktop PC. It came with a slot for the HP Pocket Media Drive, which was not available from the retailer. When I looked online they were more expensive than comparable external HDDs. Now they are being overtaken by the capacity and price of USB and SD tech. I have never known anyone to actually use a HP Pocket Media Drive

[@NachumRobbins]

This one is great Simon. Thanks.

[@CosRacecar]

That was timing. "This is it, business blaze is over" *headset battery dies* Nooooooo!

[@nancyr7759]

I feel like the Is It Dark app is something Danny has on his phone so he knows what the outside world looks like from his windowless basement.

[@spogansamsamsamsamsam5480]

I believe here in Canada if a minor makes an online purchase using an adult's card and the adult wants it refunded the company legally has to, though it's quite a hassle - I definitely had iBeer -

[@Dave-hp4vh]

Its official, I just saw a Raid Shadow Legends ad on this channel and I literally can't stop laughing.

[@Phatxual]

The thing people don't realize, not to defend the stupid app, but a lot of had that 'Beer' app lol. I remember having that Beer App back in highschool😂 Back when Apple first began with the whole 'touch' thang😆

[@RedneckSwede]

Don't forget the lighter apps. What's really sad and massively hilarious is that some morons actually thought you could light up a cigarette with their phone. Especially older people who weren't that technically up to date.

[@GolfPrincessCL]

11 pounds (or 14 us dollars)? 💰🤑 look at you being all fancy! 😂🤣 love this channel! ✌😎

[@bobthompson4319]

on the beer one i would have put micro purchases in it. every time you get a refill micro purchase. and you get to talk to a bartender

[@rodepet]

Create an app called business blaze wher you tell people to SMSH THAT LIKE BUTTON. Do make sure you aren't liable for any smashed phones 😂

[@terriensberg5487]

Why are some retail stores failing in the retail apocalypse while others survive or even thrive?

[@dwarlord3716]

The three wolves shirt does attract women, I think it's a subliminal subconscious thing. I like wolves, so I had wolves shirts. Women would talk to me more when wearing wolf shirts. Dragons/eagles/swords/guns on a shirt will keep them away. They will never approach you. Even if they are into the d&d/fantasy stuff they will stay clear. And just so everyone wondering, I got old and now my shirts have no design/pictures whatsoever. And my luck with the laddies is worse than with the pictures. Growing up sucks!!

[@davidwebb3407]

There used to be an app that was nothing but Mr T soundbites. It's no longer on the app store and I no longer have the phone that I downloaded it on. I miss that app.

[@brainblaze6526]

Life will never be the same.

[@annieinwonderland]

very late to the party but in Aust we use it to promote sensable drinking when people are heading to schoolies.

[@clivetucker7070]

Another vote for covering 'Amazon Reviews' - if it's not already been mentioned, I'd like to suggest Simon searches for 'Amazon Veet Men Hair Removal Cream Review'. Spoiler alert: you will die laughing, so get your affairs in order first.

[@lesleydehaan5898]

I have Screen Cleaner on my MacBook. I don’t know where I got it, but have been known to click on it when I’m getting annoyed at work. Works every time!

[@RobeonMew]

I have the "I am rich" app. The idea is it becomes free on rare occasions, then you pretend you bought it.

[@RobeonMew]

well I went to check, and their all free now permanently. The joke was by it on sale day...

[@amandajones661]

And now people are buying invisible art and NPVs? The online art things.

[@ConservatEV]

App idea: “Am I Hot?” No, not rating your appearance but rather it checks the temperature outside and tells you whether you should have the heat or the air conditioning on. Paid feature: tell it your gender and it will tailor it using that info. If you’re a woman, you’re always cold so it just tries to sell you sweaters. If you’re a guy, always warm so it tries to sell you tank tops. Boom, we’re gonna be rich!

[@han5vk]

The SMTH video was shot in front of the NTK (National Library of Technology) in Prague, so the Czenglish isn't really all that suprising lol.

[@acepilot1]

I came up with a drinking game, whenever Simon bemoans that he should have read the script before hand you take a drink

[@RichardBaran]

Definitely do Amazon reviews!

[@brainblaze6526]

Working on something interesting atm! :D

[@Rockgamen]

I wonder if the app that tells you if its dark works in scandinavia or simililar places? Here it can be dark in th middl of the day in wintr and really brigth at nigth in the summer...

[@emilypheil1460]

Yes! Do one on Amazon reviews! That would be fantastic! 😂

[@brainblaze6526]

Got something in the works :)

[@rika8484]

PLEASE do Amazon Reviews!!!

[@ziggy8253]

We start with an excerpt from Simon Whistler’s diary. 0:00

[@brendoncummins2762]

Where can we get the NSFW unedited 3 hour rants and digressions?

[@constipatedinsincity4424]

$1,000 was it a recurring price monthly?

[@shaunp8044]

Simon do one on the amazon reviews for the most expensive items, especially the TV's those are the most hilarious.

[@johnsummers9660]

I'd like to smash something other than the like button... Also I wish I could like this video 10,000 times so we could see the majesty of Simon in the three wolf t-shirt and if we're really lucky, the zebra mask.

[@brainblaze6526]

Zebra coming soon!!

[@johnsummers9660]

@@brainblaze6526 You just made my day. I always need a good laugh and you never fail to provide on this channel.

[@BrianSmith-vl7xu]

how about the story of the McLibel case and others like it?