How Do You Avoid "Small Talk" When Talking To People?

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#BreakfastClub #WhySmallTalkSucks

[@prometheus200]

I find it weird that our society finds small talk bad, not chit-chatters or gossip. Coz it’s through small talk you learn people. So lean into it. No wonder a lot of people today have Asperger’s, ADHD or something. We have no social skills. The art of conversation is a skill that one can leverage in social situations. People learn to talk. Conversation isn’t always about something. It’s how we connect and learn each other.

[@tobiaslawrence8928]

Cause it's boring people that don't like small talk. People who always say they hate small talk are always the most boring people you'd meet.

[@kibayi]

Couldn’t have said it better! Small talk is what allows the conversation to open up by establishing common ground. You can skip over that but most times that’s just weird

[@blondellwestbrook5168]

That's true my seeds always say I ask too many questions, I'm like if I don't ask questions how is the conversation going to happen.

[@joshlever4]

Small talk can obviously lead to deeper conversations but small talk just to avoid awkward silence feels meaningless. I’d rather find an excuse to walk away than forced a meaningless conversation, not a big fan of “Ohh the weather is great today” type of conversations lol

[@TheRamboss]

Small talk doesn’t let you learn anything. That’s why it’s small talk.

[@Ari-hn7gd]

“It’s the breakfast club good morning” cracked me upppp! 😂😂😂

[@Mary-cp4gt]

Jess to dismissive - flip flops

[@awardtour93]

Conversation is an art and a skill. A lot of people just aren't very good at it. You can learn a lot from small talk. It's simply a lead in. It just takes patience and curiosity.

[@lindih111]

Americans are known for small talks, and that's one of the reasons we love them,it helps you open up and later have a big talk and I guess it depends on what the small talk is about. ❤

[@Pou1gie1]

Small talk does not mean "making things up".

[@brandenreid7123]

Small talk is a skill. Being intelligent enough to read a room and make light hearted conversation with anyone you meet. The avoidance of small talk is a sign you probably can’t communicate well enough to have verbal exchanges in a light hearted fashion. That’s scary y’all got it up here like it’s a bad thing. These be the same people that just ask you the same question you asked them right back huh?

[@JDris08]

No it’s not that, some people don’t enjoy conversations about the weather, or about celebrity gossip, or about pointless things in town. I have always had a difficult time connecting with people cause I get annoyed with chit chat for too long, if we’re talking let’s talk about something. Who are you? What do you do, what do you have going on? I don’t consider these things small talk

[@brandenreid7123]

Well when you have a moving target for the definition of small talk it’s blurry. What you consider small talk may be different from case to case. Time wasting is different than small talk in my opinion. So sounds like the definition is gonna be important here.

[@brandenreid7123]

@@JDris08 in my opinion it ain’t really about enjoying chats about weather. It’s about the necessity to have surface level conversation in certain scenarios. If we at the grocery store yeah don’t small talk me. If I’m in my role at work meeting with clients for the first time, yeah we need to break the ice and talk about the hometown sports team, current events, the weather. It’s about being equipped for conversation in every scenario. Who is anyone to determine what depth of conversation you need to share. If I don’t know you I’m not sharing nothing of importance until we get to a place where it makes sense.

[@TriggaTreDay]

😂😂😂 THANK YOU!!!! 👏🏾👏🏾 because that’s exactly what it is. I have a lot of training in professional communication and one of the things I value is how to get someone to trust you in a conversation. One of those ways is through small talk. If you are not good at it then just say that. But for me personally, i have found out that so many people talk about how they always get so wrapped up and lost in talking with me, it’s almost as if time stops. I know how to get some of the most introverted people to open up and have fun. They say It’s almost as if i take them to another world. I just laugh 😅 But if anything, I suffer more because sometimes it’s hard to get people off the phone or to end the convo. Depending on where we are. 😂.

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@JDris08Im not sure where you are from, but in my city that’s considered small talk. So for TBC to say “small talk”, those things are also included to me, which makes no sense. You may as well just not talk to people at all.

[@JJohnson313]

Small talk leads to deeper conversations. You got to pass 1st base before you make it to home plate. On the first date or interaction I’m not telling you my deepest darkest secret or know if I can discuss certain topics with you. Do not go 0-100 real quick.

[@icechingu]

Wasting time

[@Sirleeproductionss]

Waste of time they don’t really care abt u or what u have to say. Ask that small talk person you talking to for help. Watch how quickly they will avoid u & will not talk to you anymore 😂😂.

[@trueflood323]

@@Sirleeproductionssnever heard this in my life.. small talk literally leads up to knowing a person or caring to want to help a person. I just don’t understand how ya just skip the less pressure part of talking to a person to a random “deep” conversation piece. Even “deep” conversations can be pointless. Aka most podcasts

[@Sirleeproductionss]

⁠@@trueflood323small talk is interaction you have with random strangers when you out & about it. That’s what the breakfast club crew is talking abt in this video.

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@Sirleeproductionsswhy in the hell would a random person help you and they know nothing about you? You could be trying to scam them for all they know. Nice people get messed over all the time, and that’s most likely one of the reasons as to why they will ghost you. You sound weird as hell dude. 😂

[@sandewoods]

I do not avoid small talk, I avoid 'talk' altogether

[@Baker19911]

😂😂😂😂

[@tsunami2447]

How can you get into "Big Talk" with a stranger, if you dont do "Small talk" if you start off with Big talk, with someone who doesnt know you, you gonna sound insane.

[@trueflood323]

Everyone always wanna be the main character, when most aren’t in the side character. Folks have npc thought process acting like they always in this 100k dollar business meeting..

[@NorrisLikens]

Unfortunately, we have evolved into a society that if you don't have anything to offer then I don't want to talk to you mentality. That's why I love the South because there are still some people left who are actually nice to other people. Say hello, hold a door, invite you to a get-together or a cookout, network, church groups, soicials. I'm older and I still yes yes ma'am and no sir to my elders and show respect to people who are worthy of it. This political approach to who you talk to and who you give time or attention to creates a cast system and makes you undesirable IMO> Then they complain that they have no real friends or anyone who really cares about them but everyone they interact with is trying to get something from you or you them. I don't like the future or this mentality they are supporting.

[@TriggaTreDay]

You hit the nail on the head. That guy that said “don’t talk to me if we ain’t talking money or business”. Dude I’m not doing business with anyone I can’t vibe with on a basic friendly level. Good luck with your lonely endeavors with that attitude. It’s weird.

[@NorrisLikens]

@@TriggaTreDay This is why we can't grow or succeed because we have lost all sense of community and fellowship. I have gotten business deals just by being at a hotel bar and chopping it up with people with small talk. This happens in a lot of spaces, golf courses, cigar bars, and lounges. This advice they are supporting is for people who feel like they don't need anyone and have a good bankroll...or have too many people trying to use them. The bad attitude that they are exhibiting is not appealing.

[@TriggaTreDay]

@@NorrisLikens Bingo!!! Same with my husband and I. I have even made great connections joking about how bad the weather and bugs are in my city during the summer. Maybe we are just too good at small talk. But exactly like you said, people who are always being sought after may be ok with this advice. But I’m one of those people and I just tell people straight up what my boundaries are. No need to be mean or not get to know them. These podcast and radio shows are so weird sometimes.

[@MomentPhotographyG1]

Fax

[@TriggaTreDay]

How it is that my mentors paid me money over the entire summer when I was 12yo to learn how to start small conversations…for every conversation I started I got $0.25, and for every min it lasted I got $0.05. I walked away with $87 that summer. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do as a kid, because I was so shy. It is one of the foundation of why so many people love talking to me and willing get lost in conversations. It gets overwhelming for me, but I learn so much about people and it has helped me in business. But y’all are telling people to not have small conversations almost at all. My husband has made so many friends and connections with some very wealthy people because of random humorous small talk. People will take your advice literally, so I hope that your book will actually help people.

[@Ceddyuncensored]

Everytime jess say "oh my gawd" I die 😂😂😂

[@Scoop-rm9er]

Lmao. That’s her only punch line

[@wendyfan8071]

Same 😅

[@godivabaker6622]

I hate small talk like the next person, but there are times you cam avoid it so you have to be careful taking advice from people who’s public figures if you work a 9-5. If you’re in the corporate world, you will always have to engage in small talk. We live in a time where people are social awkward anyway because of social media and texting.

[@Sirleeproductionss]

Small talk at work environment is even more pointless because They will tell you abt their whole life, kids & all. Then next morning you try to say hey to them they ignore u. it’s all fake convo just to kill time. They don’t really care

[@bdotdrumz]

Aight it’s the breakfast club, good morning 😂

[@WiltChainburland]

😂😂that part took me out

[@SmokeTherapy420]

😂😂😂

[@JC_Fuh_KC]

It's the breakfast club good morning, bye 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@therealist2000]

You don’t. Try reading a book called Conversationally Speaking, it’s good for people who think they can’t or won’t do small talk.

[@SneakerQu33n]

Not the caller trying close the segment with "It's Breakfast Club Goodmorning, alight. "🤣🤣 Not CTG got caller with his own line 😂😂😂

[@valerie4912]

I had someone sit beside me on a plane who wanted to chit chat. When he asked how I was I responded with “I’m exhausted” Nothing was said after that. That was like 10 years ago and I still feel bad about it 😂😂

[@dreamt724]

Give that man a tour.

[@angeleyes3386]

I get what Charlamagne is saying. We should hold more important topics higher in our daily conversations but people don’t want to talk about politics or how to solve our social issues. I enjoy more meaningful discussions but small talk has its place.

[@dwayneadamsworld]

Charla's big back dance!!!!!😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@614Michael]

If im interested in talking to a person or there is an intetesting topic to talk about that can lead to a bigger conversation then small talk is easy for me but if I dont feel like talking to you or they don't get the hint and keep trying I will zone out. I will hit you with the "really " "Oh yeah"

[@BallfieldBoxing]

“Oh word.” “Thats wild.” “Damn.”

[@szn1580]

Society is trash nowadays.

[@ptk4392]

Bc ppl don't want to hear you talk about nothing?

[@enicolehoward3544]

​@@ptk4392 right

[@daies07]

Get outside and meet more people lol

[@szn1580]

@@ptk4392I never said that. I’m just saying people have all these demands and complaints and they’re not even that special to begin with. Esp. women

[@szn1580]

@@enicolehoward3544left

[@macmanjr100]

Agreed, small talk is annoying as hell.

[@charlesbessant4207]

Jess with no makeup is 💯👍🏾

[@MirageUchiha]

Easy. Like, why is this even a question? Lol Jus say, _"Alright, enough small talk. Let's get to business."_ Works wit whatever you're tryna do. Whether it's getting straight to an important part in a meeting, a discussion, getting to kno someone, goin staright to pound town, etc. Whatever you tryna do. Most people will be glad that you respect their time.

[@J.Scott32]

LMAOOO homeboy that hit them w/"Its The Breakfast Club, Good morning." Just made me hit the floor. S/O to that man!!

[@Raptors2023]

The white people impression was funny lol

[@Realest1ne]

Although I hate small talk, I can admit that avoiding it is not necessarily a good thing.

[@claymusicoff5663]

Small talk is fine, small talk is good. Stop being awkward and have a nice easy pleasant conversation. You’ll learn a lot about people’s mood before diving into a deeper conversation

[@jaylanharper8936]

Put my AirPods in and walk away.

[@msdaniellemcdonald]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@WiseAilbhean]

I don't mind making small talk, majority of times it's funny. Just keep it brief and don't rope me into a full blown conversation.

[@MasutaMJ]

My go to is "alright I got something to do".

[@JJohnso221]

Define “small talk”. What exactly is it?

[@blondellwestbrook5168]

I had to Google it lol

[@blondellwestbrook5168]

Google says it's unimportant or uncontroversial conversation

[@Greatwealthgentleman]

So….hows the weather?

[@mookglenn7438]

How to get out of small talk?? Look the opposite way and keep saying huh. They'll get tired of you saying huh...and repeating themselves

[@JTG313]

If I don't have anything to say I aint saying ish

[@kermitjones5803]

What's wrong with small talk smh?! Sometimes I have things to do, so my time is short, too short for a long conversation, keep it short and simple.

[@MyNameIsLake.]

🤔 We are all here as humans to coincide with each other so it baffles me that we’re talking about how not to speak, which is how to communicate. Just so selfish. Now I understand if the conversation is long winded and it’s time for you to go and you can respectfully say “well it was nice speaking to you I’m going to have to move on“ or something to that effect but to just be annoyed and walk away or fake cough or tell someone that their conversation is trivial is self absorbed and you will eventually reap what you sow because no one will be listening to you if you don’t want to listen to them. Deep conversations are not necessary all the time however, in order to get to that deep conversation if need be you would need to do what?????? Small talk!!!!!. weirdos. 🙄😑

[@hasbunallahwanimalwakeel3576]

My question is how can you avoid small talk when you work as a social worker and customer service?

[@angeleyes3386]

They don’t give small talk, they tell you ALL of their problems!!

[@naemack1441]

You can't, but you can learn how to cut it short and Exit in a classy way

[@bigboston4ever]

Congratulations on your 3rd book I read a lot but only in prison but I listen to audiobooks 😂😂

[@QuanPookie]

Prison? 🤦🏾‍♂️

[@naemack1441]

​@@QuanPookieThat's what it says

[@QuanPookie]

@@naemack1441 Must be the type of men you like.

[@heyitstheblackguy]

As someone who works with many hispanic people, small talk is one of the few ways i pick up spanish especially any slang terms

[@kaylynevans7354]

Sometimes people don’t want to have those deep conversations especially if I’m just meeting .

[@winojones47]

Small talk can lead to connecting with important people. Small talk can be exhausting, but it’s necessary for growth.

[@icantwiththis]

Small talk requires a basic to high level of social - emotional intelligence and includes us in a community outside ourselves. Don't be stunted.

[@CandyPaintProductions]

Small talks are meant for people who you dont know. Alot of people are not comfortable talkin about "deep" stuff with strangers. Plus theres alot of older lonely people who just wanna talk to somebody. Kinda selfish thing to just leave that conversation because you think they are not worth your time.

[@OfficialDeLaSole]

Small talk to me is the hey how you doing, good fine and yourself and then having no meaningful conversation after that which is the worst

[@JTG313]

On a plane put yo headphones

[@Rashaadthegr8]

The real thing is verbal conversation vs texting is the real question.

[@Pop_Richie]

Small talk could lend to future opportunities, social media was ruined face 2 face conversations. Hence the reason why the ppl are getting more and more weird yo, it’s lowkey scary..

[@twils1132]

Sometimes the small talk takes your mind off of heavy issues. When it’s not small talk it seems to ALWAYS turn into the state of the world, which is highly depressive. There are times when you just want to not go deep and keep it light. I feel like we’re all surrounded with heavy life events and issues, I just need a break sometimes with small talk….depending on what it is.

[@tjking6494]

Envy funny as hell

[@robertsuccess007]

I'll usually interrupt the small talk with a question or topic I find interesting.. If they continue, I'll just excuse myself and avoid the person...

[@sas_thedeity1019]

Doesn’t small talk leads into deeper conversations eventually. To be honest it all depends on if you like the person or not

[@DaughterLayLay]

I’m one of those people who can’t hurt someones feelings I will sit there and just listen. 🤦🏽‍♀️ I need to start getting honest 😂

[@deljean]

Same lol

[@MrClintMontgomery]

It’s only useless small talk when you think you’re better than someone else or that person you’re talking to has nothing to offer.

[@oasisfullfilled7617]

What is wrong with small talk? How do you get to know people or meet people

[@ajkim9151]

Envy doesn't have black spirituality in him. He comes off as those German types

[@ccr6088]

Jess small talks on this show 🤷🏽‍♀️ which makes me believe that’s how she communicates

[@SU-ue5ej]

1:56 so.. he’s going to die lying. 😂😂

[@mbirk2011]

Nothing wrong with small talk. Bffr

[@rohanlawrence]

No Eye Contact legit works for real...especially if you limit your responses to a single "hmm hm"

[@monicatrotter6180]

I’m not a “shit shooter” so if we can’t talk about the meaning of life kind of things then I’d rather not and will walk away. It’s given me a bad rep at work but at least they all know where they stand with me.

[@AlexRodriguez-uz6ff]

Funny how they all say they hate small talk or talking about nothing. It's 90% of their show!

[@sacoope1]

I would put my air buds in my ears.

[@onicabelony9957]

Ppl don't read the room smh .

[@trunks38109]

Airpods

[@Justcory1]

What does small talk have to do with lying?

[@desmondbrown3548]

When it becomes too much for me and my eyes start twitching and my back starts to tingle, I say 'I'm so sorry, I have to go use the restroom.' It always works. 😂😂😂

[@wanchawancha5323]

I’m glad I don’t have that issue. I’m a chatter box 😂. Reading a lot helps with being well versed in various topics.

[@BallfieldBoxing]

I think we al know how to physically avoid it but what about times where you want to engage but cant seem to get around the small talk?

[@imMikeCee]

This is an interesting topic because its funny that we say "the youth" or this generation doesn't know how to socialize. And small talk i feel is an element of socializing? So what what do we want from them if they cant even make small talk with us?

[@TT-zc6px]

I hate small talk with workers. I just want my coffee or Brazilian without telling you about my day. I seem rude but I talk all day at work. I want to chill.

[@MrBean617]

I’m introvert, so I avoid small talk at all costs…😂🤷🏾‍♂️

[@SU-ue5ej]

0:36 I’m buying this book. 0:58 Jess prolly my sister. Lmao

[@ginoblackofficial]

My guy said “It’s breakfast club. Good mornin”! 😂 Stole Envy’s line...lol

[@cmunnerl]

I just told someone today..after a show....I dont want to be rude..but Ive been singing from 11am to 9pm..and I sing again tomorrow so I cant talk right now. I gotta go on vocal rest.

[@lalababy1152]

This is so crazy that this was the topic today because my coworker who is a doctor was trying to make small talk with me yesterday and I am fucking terrible at it. I hate it. I cannot stand making small talk but since I don’t want to be rude to him, it might be unprofessional any advice on Work LMAO.

[@bdiddythedon710]

To avoid small talk avoid the person

[@TriggaTreDay]

I would love to see what the world would actually look and feel like if everyone took this advice.

[@OnesRealness]

I love small talk. Allows me to get to know people and build relationships I thought I wouldn’t need. This is because our society is ran tired by capitalism and don’t have time for humanism.

[@princellasmith7562]

Writing a *book about small talk is wild.

[@outsidethebox8406]

This book was so uncalled for. Why does he care if other people engage in small talk? Mind your business Char. It seems the only ones that have a problem with small talk are the ones whose minds haven't grown. Small talk is how we develop social skills. This is exactly why so many don't know how to engage and provide proper customer service these days. Small talk is just being cordial. Everyone doesn’t want to be rude like you Char. Can you guys imagine if everyone in the world carried themselves the way he does. No thank you. Continue to be kind out there people. Don't listen to this. It's ok to be sociable.

[@CocoLala84]

Maybe we hate small talk before we are overstimulated by social media chatter. We ingesting people and strangers opinions and thoughts unnatural volumes, no wonder we are exhausted when we have real life communication. Just a theory

[@YcMdattGUY]

The only time I don’t like small talk is when they aren’t talking about anything

[@ginoblackofficial]

MOST of the youth today don’t make eye contact AT ALL, so the caller who said that should try again..lol

[@Nytellem]

…..Soooo this is just a big promo for Charla’s book lol

[@theajayieffect]

I can't stand small talk either! It's sad because it's part of US culture. I'm like CTG, i just say it ❤

[@catalinaparlay]

NOT JESS DISSING HER EMPLOYER “iHeart” GIRLLLL THEY WON’T BE RENEWING YOUR CONTRACT. ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU GOT PREGNANT ON DAY 1 OF THE JOB. BRING ANGELA YEE BACKKK OR CLAUDIA JORDAN.

[@k99876]

Bad advice…small talk is necessary for normal working people. Nice attempt to want to sell your book though…

[@TT-zc6px]

I live in Portland now and these yt people love chatting in the elevator, line at the store. I’m like dam call a friend Im trying to get home.

[@Brandonforever21608]

Theres a bunch of small talk and bullshit on Charlas podcast so I dont know what hes talking about 🤷‍♂️

[@cmunnerl]

I hate small talk

[@umekahudson8116]

Omg, I absolutely hate small talk, coming up with excuses and lies to satisfy the other person desire to talk about pretty much nothing, I just tell them, look I don’t feel like talking or doing none of that, hell all those lies and coming up with excuses is played and draining, if they’re a grown person first off, they should understand…. not pampering no grown-up feelings while frazzling mine with engaging in meaningless “small” talk.

[@claymusicoff5663]

Why are you lying when making small talk??

[@umekahudson8116]

@@claymusicoff5663 not me “per say” I was actually commenting on the TBC callers saying they’d say this or do that, I don’t invite small talk, something like the “small talk” I’m having explaining myself to you😩

[@Scantronacon]

Amazing shirt CTG!

[@idontarguewithpeasants]

Bc everyone rather troll ppl online

[@cameron357]

Envy sloooow.

[@devindozier4043]

Anyone know the name of the intro song? Song from the beginning?

[@socialTv1o1]

@4:44 Because its rude Charlamagne!

[@grangran6727]

One word hmmm

[@phillyphil201]

What does small talk mean?????

[@danaoverall620]

I find it real crazy YALL mfs not mentioned the new movie MICROPHONE CHECK its the elephant in the room trust that mfs giving y’all the side eye because we see where YALL priorities are in our community 😡