BREAKING: ONLINE POSTS of BRYAN KOHBERGER (Uncovered Docs in health forum)

[@HiddenTrueCrime]

LINK TO THE DOCUMENTS: drive.google.com/file/d/1z-1G9g4_7ix0WRr744LL0dfvJEiN0kZ_/view?fbclid=IwAR0gLy62LJgYAO4zatIjomnCc2qHc9fRaxGEDpaLAqRZvIiFeOSdWmwhm50

[@annafantastic1115]

Same year of that most disturbing post 2011, His sister was in a Horror Movie where Students where Stabbed...It was called "Two Days Back"

[@ServantOfJesusChrist777]

Kberger stated BLURRY & bright flashing in PERIPHERAL area of LEFT EYE & hard to see in dark. Coming past DM's room from X's room, this effect might have blocked seeing her peeking out a slit in her door on his left. BESIDES being focused on exiting to the right. I would say THIS probably saved her life, along with freezing and not shutting her door at that moment to alert him she was there.

[@maemae4909]

@@ServantOfJesusChrist777tunnel vision also when someone is ultra focused on ☠️ people would explain that.

[@KaskadiaJackassWatch]

Visual snow sounds more like high blood pressure with floaters or shooting stars, perhaps rapid head movement or quick changes in pressure.

[@karenburns9]

@@ServantOfJesusChrist777 no insanity plea in idaho

[@secretdiva9414]

In the early 2000s my 8yo son was being bullied by a skinny isolated angry 8yo boy with ADHD on Ritalin who had no friends and was clearly developmentally skew. He told my son he wanted to get a gun and shoot everyone, some day. I decided to have a meeting with his Mum and the principal and teacher. We came up with a plan to bring him to our place after school. To sleep overs and dinners. I had 4 kids and there was always a houseful playing in our pool in summer. He had never slept over or had dinner at a friends place before or been to birthday parties. My son used his peer influence to include the boy in the group in the playground. He became a frequent visitor for play at our home for years into his teens. Long story short this boy is now a grown man with a wife and child. His Mum texts me every New Year’s Eve still to thank me. He has a tattoo of the mad hatter and an Alice in Wonderland picture that we had in our home that says “Were all Mad here” I truly believe that it’s up to our communities to identify and reach out to these kids. They need help but compassionate patient friends and socialising is far better in the long run, than doctors and pills.

[@whiteraven69]

Best story Ive read in a long time, which demonstrates actions are louder than words, and it takes kind and caring people to wrap around children /adults who are born with deficits in the personality. I love the way you approached finding a solution to the bullying and focused on the behaviors and what was happening in the life of the bully, instead of making him the tyrrant..you brought him into your family. A beautiful story with a happy ending.

[@secretdiva9414]

@@whiteraven69 thanks, it truly is up to us all to intervene as early as possible.

[@whiteraven69]

@@secretdiva9414 I am a former Social Worker who has worked with numerous young people and adults with psychological issues . I have many mixed feelings and at times , hopelessness due to post secondary trauma from working in this field . In my younger years I was filled with optimism and altruistic , over time the sheer number of human beings who are severely out of balance has overwhelmed me. Along with the shrinking support systems and funding (that need desperate overhaul), it is stories of the human spirit that demonstrate we can all make a difference if we care about other’s . I think stories such as yours need to be highlighted bc you, the School Principal and the mother of this individual did make a big and bold difference. You didn’t look to “outside” agencies to fix him…You took action.

[@ninapoe]

Wow. What you did was beautiful!

[@elizsoleil252]

This gave me chills, what an incredibly compassionate and kind way to approach a hard situation. There is something to be said about labeling struggling people as "bad", it seems over time they take that on as their identity. Beautiful thing your family did.

[@Emcald74]

We can feel compassion for this younger version of Bryan, while also being horrified and outraged by his recent actions. We can feel sadness for someone who was clearly mentally ill and in a lot of pain, while also being angry and heartbroken for the pain and suffering he has inflicted on the victims and their families. These video discussions, plus questions and comments from others, have helped me to better hold space for all aspects of this heartbreaking case. Thank you Lauren and Dr. John.

[@HiddenTrueCrime]

We always love your comments and thoughts Mindy. Thank you.

[@RBNY]

@Mindy - agree! This is so messed up and sad on so many levels.

[@heatherleahl]

That is so awesome to hear - let’s continue to share this with others!

[@June-tb4vi]

@We need angels Do we know that he wasn't being treated by anyone? Do we know that the parents did nothing as you're insinuating?

[@megkathleen]

I think it’s also very important to think about Bryan’s family and the other children’s families besides just the Goncalves’. They all lost children. Bryan’s family dealt with his apparent mental health issues in childhood, a heroin addiction, and now this. They now have to pay to have their windows and doors fixed after the police broke everything down. To hear Steven Goncalves say he wants Bryan’s life to end is quite frankly disgusting. I’ve lost a child. I know how that feels. But to say you look forward to another person’s child dying is HORRIBLE. There is no excuse for that. This is a family who bought their daughter a Range Rover - of course they wouldn’t call their daughter a mean girl. Still no excuse for them to have faced what they did but this is a lesson to us all - Treat everyone with kindness. How you want to be treated. You never know what another is going through or what could potentially make them snap. I hope all of those affected can find some sort of peace with the circumstances currently at hand.

[@elysemedina1631]

I have a son with extreme mental health issues, and I’ll say that getting help isn’t always that easy. Resources aren’t always there. Parents aren’t always heard… if ever. I’ve spent years feeling like I’m begging for help while being disregarded. If help was so easy to come by more people would receive it.

[@SheTraxter]

Yeah our mental health world is very antiquated! Older psyche docs have no clue of the real issues of todays minds!!! Such as narcissist abuse I suffered all my life!!! Only 4 yrs ago they started to understand this personality disorder in more depth and what the victims are going through and how devastating our lives have been from this innocuous mental abuse 50 ways to Sunday!!! Only now at age 60 am I getting the right therapy for this!!! Our society has a ways to go to understand the minds of people and the affects on society with wide spread devastating narcissist abuse going on!

[@dragonfly111cute]

Exactly! It’s not easy at all!!

[@dfinite1111]

So true! There is a serious dearth of professionals for children, and general therapists with a master’s degree in Family Therapy are certainly not equipped for young people mental health assessment nor treatment, even if parents do find that level of pro, willing to take on kids as clients.

[@kaleyminder2050]

I have a friend who also has a son with mental health issues and watching her try to get help from him while being bullied by the schools is heartbreaking! They threatened to call CPS on her for the sake of her other children's safety yet won't come up with an IEP plan for him, threatened to kick him out but every place she turns to for help she is turned away. A lot of the schools around here will not help him because one of the many things he's dealing with is autism. And they flat out don't have the resources so they turn people away. So what is the poor woman supposed to do? She's only a few of us who she feels comfortable being completely open with about his issues and letting us step in and help her at certain times. For now that along with prayer is all that woman is going on raising that child and it's sad because if she were able to get him home right now somewhere she would be on her way at all costs and moving mountains to make it happen if she had to. Unfortunately like you stated getting help is not easy! Good luck to you!

[@islanderbyrd1881]

@@kaleyminder2050 Keep trying, there are waiting lists. Sometimes they need to be brought to the ER if it gets out of hand. If these issues are not resolved, they could pop up later.

[@dawn6232]

In the words of Dr. Robert Block, the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, "Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today." It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass

[@emma_t_s]

Yes!!!

[@marquitaarmstrong399]

Thank you very much.

[@Jo-Elle504]

Bullying is - or can be - as bad as assault. I was severely bullied in middle school. Fortunately, my parents moved me to a different school and I did better there. I promised myself if my kids ever experienced bullying I would do whatever it took to get them out of that situation. Everyone gets a little teasing, but bullying is something else entirely. Very damaging.

[@Serenity-hi7gd]

I grew up neglected by my mother, I had to take care of myself from grade school on, I had to learn to make my own breakfast and all other meals if I was hungry, she didn't do laundry... nothing.. we were not rich so my clothes were not as good as the other kids... So picked on and bullied was every day at school, I fought my way through... My father worked 6 to 7 days a week, so to busy to really have a relationship of any kind... I sat in a lonely room, my bedroom and wondered why I was even on this earth... I have suffered with ptsd my entire life. I never had one thought of ever harming people because my life was a living hell. If I was beaten on in school, I fought back... These excuses of a poor pitiful childhood or neglect, as an excuse to hurt other people, right up to murdering people is evil with no excuses. I went on in my life to do ok, and never chose drugs or alcohol to cope. This monster is 28 years old that murdered these students, and well aware of reaching out for help, also he was a herion user in the past and possibly other drugs?? That was his choice, no excuses for him as far as I'm concerned, he stalked these students and planned the murders, he went to their home to kill them!!! I care more about these family's who have lost their loved ones!!!!!! No sympathy for a grown man who chooses to stalk and kill innocent people!!!!!

[@whitakercindy03]

So glad u are ok now

[@cherylspinazzola5572]

His parents must have felt like he was finally getting his life together. Lost weight. Running. New diet. Top grades in school. His own apartment. Then BOOM!

[@TRUTHbomb2.0]

I agree, they probably had no idea he was struggling, I feel really sorry for them.

[@eeayquetting5963]

I struggled with an extremely hardcore addiction for several years, and I never wanted to connect all of the problems I was having in life - with my health with my friendships with my career - to my drug use. I came up with clever ideas of where my problems were coming from. And when I quit it was crazy to notice how most of my problems simply vanished as I got healthier

[@brendaredmond4678]

It was the same for me.

[@mikesully110]

Do you know if Bryan had a heavy habit? did you quit fully or get on methadone? I wonder if Bryan quit fully or got on methadone or bupe ?

[@ritawhite2070]

My son started displaying red flags by the time he was 13,14 and 15… I made appointments with school counselors also with psychologist, but after the end of sessions, they said he refused to talk the whole time so we can’t really help him … He’s highly intelligent though around 24. He told me that while he had been attending college he had gotten on Adderall. (he had been on his own since he was 18 years old, working full-time and going to college.) So I didn’t know he was on Adderall. Also, he went off Adderall cold turkey. !!! Wow, that was so dangerous ! Well, as you know, he spiraled out of blacked out and refused to go to the doctor since he was 24. I had no legal authority to make him go to the doctor. Though I did get him to a major hospital, too long of a story, but both hospital said I’m sorry he has schizophrenia and this was about 4 to 6 months after he went off Adderall I brought him to my apartment to take care of him for eight months and put him on a routine sleep meals etc. and eight months later his mind came back This was four years ago he’s a high achiever extremely intelligent I guess my point is as a parent I did Say red flags I did try to get him into therapy counseling, but he refused to speak or cooperate Also, when my son was going through hormones, boys tend not to talk to their parents about the problems they’re having anyway I don’t think they even talk to their friends about their problems I think this is the difficulty parents are having with kids who are showing red flags. You try and try everything you can think of. But when your kid refuses your help, doctors, help medication, etc. I just don’t know what else can be done.

[@tru3293]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you and your family had to go through all of this. The system is beyond broken and no one seems to have the answer. I hope better days fill your lives.

[@crystalinedreams6039]

maybe it's not what needs to be done after the red flags but before there are red flags that is important. everything that a parent says & does is absorbed by the child then processed into what they are to become.

[@sorguinazia]

@@crystalinedreams6039 parents influence a lot, but they can’t control everything a child learns or is exposed to. SA from a trusted adult or bullying from peers can be extremely destructive to mental health in a way that may slip past parents, for example

[@LisaPFrampton]

Sounds exactly like my husband during high school. He's on antipsychotics and when he misses a dose you can really tell. He used to start fires, he killed a kitten, slept around and did drugs at a pretty young age. Mom and dad worked all the time. It's been a VERY difficult 20 years with him and we have four kids. I pray none of them inherit what he has. One of my brothers had similar issues, but not nearly as severe. It's honestly a scary thing to live with, both for the patient and their loved ones. Getting therapy as early as possible and making it a normal part of your life for the rest of your days, like going to church, like going to the gym, etc, must be accepted and normalized and implemented

[@marybethkrol7361]

Mental health needs to be a priority in this country , my son suffers from OCD and we have been trying to get him a therapist for almost 2 years!!! The wait lists are long and it is very frustrating. Thank you for this break down, your insight is very needed.

[@YaakovEzraAmiChi]

I haven't had such a problem. Are you in a rural area? I am in Philadelphia and if near, look into Merakey. It took some time to find the possibility right therapist. It's important to find one you can work with comfortably. I pray you find a good therapist to help your son ❤️ take it one day at a time.

[@machetenikki]

I am a woman approaching my forties who has been treated for OCD since the early 90s the absolute most effective treatment for me is cannabis and I don't think children should be smoking weed but there are tinctures out there formulated for children just saying it's something worth looking into cuz I am an extreme case and I have been put on every medication you can imagine and seen all kinds of doctors and therapists and hospitalizations and truly cannabis is what keeps me alive

[@LuluDior4]

Please reach out to NAMI, it’s a great organization, I volunteered with them years ago, they can help you, they have support groups for families as well , as well as peer support groups If you need help researching help in your area I’d be happy to help, just message me Kinda sad that it takes being in the hospital to get any help,

[@barbh1]

It's all too easy for outsiders to demand that the parents "seek help" for their suffering children, but as you say, it's not easy at all to obtain effective help. It's another need that is unmet in our country, and others.

[@earthrooster1969]

I think it's a global thing... specially those societies where food and shelter and education are taken care of...the human psyche at times loses much of its natural instinct and coping mechanisms...

[@ruby1037]

When my son was in 4th grade he was bullied...we went to the school and the principal did a worksheet with each of the students. It was really eye opening for all. We need to work on bulling in schools. They have their own issues at home.

[@mariadamedecoeur]

Only in schools? You are aware that it happens to who ever, where ever and for whatever reasons right?!?

[@danielahoti4109]

@@mariadamedecoeur Yes, from early on, from Kindergarten and in the family there should be awareness of bullying and all possible done to offer therapy to the kids and adult culprits.Child psychologists, social workers etc must also imply some consequences for this behaviour. Schooling of the parents how to cope. It can be done. USA gives so much money for military, this is just as important. Greetings from Germany

[@Betsy.Ross76]

@@mariadamedecoeur what a smart ass response. In this case school bullying is the factor. It is by far the largest victim population. Children are more vulnerable than adults.

[@mariadamedecoeur]

@@Betsy.Ross76 l still agree that kids are more vulnerable but it depends about adults...

[@WiseOldLady]

John, he sounds very intelligent higher IQ. Asperger's?

[@Dawn388]

For a 17 years old to take the time and be in a health forum chat is telling me that he is concerned about his health, which to me, is a way of asking for help. I wonder if this turmoil inside of him is what every serial killer feels at that age. Depersonalization would be a very frightening place in my opinion. What could have helped him at this stage? This just makes me cry because I believe it’s painful and frustrating.

[@mtaylor7307]

He sounds also like someone who is dealing with life having a traumatic brain injury. Even a mild injury or concussion could cause these symptoms.

[@plasticguitargirl]

It’s a loud scream for help. As an adult that has had ocd since childhood, this hurts. I wish someone had helped teenage Bryan.

[@megkathleen]

I think it’s also very important to think about Bryan’s family and the other children’s families besides just the Goncalves’. They all lost children. Bryan’s family dealt with his apparent mental health issues in childhood, a heroin addiction, and now this. They now have to pay to have their windows and doors fixed after the police broke everything down. To hear Steven Goncalves say he wants Bryan’s life to end is quite frankly disgusting. I’ve lost a child. I know how that feels. But to say you look forward to another person’s child dying is HORRIBLE. There is no excuse for that. This is a family who bought their daughter a Range Rover - of course they wouldn’t call their daughter a mean girl. Still no excuse for them to have faced what they did but this is a lesson to us all - Treat everyone with kindness. How you want to be treated. You never know what another is going through or what could potentially make them snap. I hope all of those affected can find some sort of peace with the circumstances currently at hand.

[@LloydChristmasAspen]

I got depersonalization and derealization when I was a teenager from smoking weed. It's horrible. Took me years to get over it

[@plasticguitargirl]

@@megkathleen I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you went through, or what these families are going through.

[@tracywilson5777]

Mental health runs in my family . ......I started seeing signs in my daughter at 8 years old . I fought to get cancelling & meds for her . She would fight me taking her to all the cancelling I took her too. But , I was steadfast & persistent in getting her cancelling & help. She hated it and would fight me all the way . She asked me "why are you doing this too me"? & I said "cause I suffered from depression as a child & no one got me help". & I see how important to get help for it........ Now she's married & 26years old and she actually sat down with me and thanked me for all the cancelling I made her go to growing up . She said she seen how much it has helped her in life today. So, it definitely was worth the fight through the years of cancelling . 💕

[@joellebramwell8464]

Wow. These posts are so heartbreaking to me. I’m not condoning anything he did. His actions were some of the most horrific I’ve heard of. But as a therapist it is so clear to me that he was crying out for help. Could this have been prevented if he got the help? He was so tortured from such a young age. Were these writings proof of a budding antisocial personality disorder? So many things I would love to know.

[@islanderbyrd1881]

Medical and Psychological help are necessary. Searching on the internet instead of getting professional help was his undoing.

[@joellebramwell8464]

@@islanderbyrd1881 absolutely. Super sad to see how it started to where it ended.

[@G2thesecondpower]

I've read in several different places that visual snow and depersonalization can be signs of schizophrenia. I do know that 14 years old is right on target for the onset of schizophrenia. As a clinician I'm wondering what you think about that possibility? Schizophrenics can become extremely paranoid and convinced of conspiracies that might lead them to murder. It's happened before...

[@islanderbyrd1881]

@@G2thesecondpower I have a former classmate back in my hometown that has psychosis. He hears voices but refuses any medical or mental health care. Instead he self medicates on beer but I have never seen him drunk. He was fired from his job for threatening a customer with a fire ax, for not turning off their headlights (the sign says turn off headlights).. He was arrested, went to court, paid a fine and that was the end of it. He told me his Father tied him to a chair and beat him as a child, which I believe, because he shared this decades later. He has 2 college degrees, very intelligent but the childhood violence changed his brain chemicals. Fortunately he is retired, but stays home alone without any friends. Trust issues, because he was never nurtured as a child! The Mom died of cancer in his early teens. I stop by once a year for my annual back home visit. He says he just wants to die. This is just one example of how society in the US is not offering many solutions. It all leads to the uptick of violence in our country. A 6 yr old shoots a teacher last week! There has to be better screening for kids at risk. It can affect their entire lives & future. I often wonder what can be done.

[@salishseas]

I’m not quite sure I agree with Dr John, respectfully. I had severe pain in both flanks (back) for 20 years and ALL the doctors told my I was anxious, it was in my head, they thought I was drug seeking. They told me to do yoga, exercise and it will all go away. I finally went to the University of Washington and they found endometriosis everywhere. It took 5 surgeries by a specialist to treat my endometriosis.I could have lived a very different life if doctors didn’t automatically discount me as “it’s in my head”. Just because you can’t find the cause of a symptom does NOT mean there isn’t a cause. We’ve moved beyond discounting patient reports and chalking it up to Freud conversion syndrome.

[@VerifiedVegan]

100% I have a very similar story …

[@sofiadf4688]

I have to agree with you both. Medical problems are often misdiagnosed by lazy incompetent doctors as anxiety or somatisation/ functional disorders when in fact the patient is suffering from a physical illness that is either rare or not so easy to diagnose. I find that there is a massive issue of ageism and misogyny within the medical profession who will dismiss younger patients, especially young women (who are statistically the most likely to suffer from autoimmune illnesses) as anxious or put the symptoms down to menstruation when the symptoms have no connection to Menstruation or hormones whatsoever. I have been suffering myself from a chronic illness since my late 20s that has affected my mobility and left me disabled and with disfiguring rashes. I still domt have a diagnoses for my main condition but have been able to diagnose myself based on family history and my own professional medical knowledge with 2 medical diagnoses but have not been offered enough tests by gps to find out what my main illness is. I have often felt isolated due to being the only person in my family and friendship group that is physically disabled and on top of that having people around me underestimate my chronic pain. Telling somebody with physical illnesses that it is all in their mind and not real and to suck it up can easily lead to feelings of isolation, alienation, even bullying by others of their ‘strange’ symptoms , frustration and irritation at not being able to be understood etc. It seems highly likely to me that Bryan suffered from VSS and felt isolated and frustrated and alienated and spent much time rightly researching his symptoms in order tp get a diagnosis and treatment. I find nothing weird or unusual about that. I think his VSS could have caused him to grow up faster than his peers and become more serious and studious but at the same time i could see how it could result in some feelings of dissasociation and depersonalisation of he had constant floaters in his eyes. I do not think the VSS can account for him murdering people. I do wonder if he had parallel comorbid personality disorders or autism or if he ended up with some kind of incel/ revenge obsession feeling that he wanted to take revenge on other people for the fact he had never been able to live a normal life and felt disconnected. I cant see any signs of narcisissm in his posts on the forum besides a belief he was sure that diets would work. I suspect his crime was the result of muptiple factors and not just one thing and that for many years although he looked like he was on the right track in life being sober and progressing careerwise, under the surface he was dealing with constant dissociation and low self esteem and feeling isolated and looking for a cure for both his VSS and mental health disorders. I do also wonder if illicit and prescription drugs such as Topamax had caused the onset of paychiatric disorders

[@nataliebaker8549]

Thank you! I had the exact same thing happen to me. Mine was in stage 4 before it was caught and I lost everything due to it all being “in my head” for years. I personally believe that when medicine, science and spirituality finally meet, we can get some real answers and maybe some help for people that do these things. Many people live their whole lives with the symptoms he describes to include myself, yet never kill or have thoughts of killing. At some point, I really think he because very vulnerable to evil entities via his mental health. Depression and psychosis can’t be blamed to stalking this house and finally carrying out a quadruple murder. My opinion obviously.

[@shanns69]

Been there as well. It is beyond frustrating!

[@bhappy6088]

That's called medical gaslighting. So many have been through it. I have esophageal dysmotilty disorder but I was told it was in my head, that I had an eating disorder that caused me to prove them wrong and I forced myself to chew & swallow my vomit. I still do it out of habit. Then I was somewhat missed diagnosed with gastroparesis I say somewhat, because even though my stomach works it's still slow and I can't digest a decent amount of foods. The thing is with the diagnosis of gastroparesis it took the doctors 5 years later before my esophageal dysmotilty disorder was discovered and it took finding a new gastronologist to help get the correct diagnosis. I do have conversion disorder for other reasons and areas of my health but vomiting thankfully isn't one of them.

[@hullsome]

My freshman year of college, I had derealization/depersonalization which lasted for months. Oftentimes, I felt like I was literally behind a screen watching a movie unfold in front of my eyes. People seemed animated, nothing seemed real. Their responses seemed automated. It lasted 3 months, but it felt like it would last forever. I remember searching online ENDLESSLY, hoping I could ‘fix’ it. Anxiety is a crazy thing, and it can do some really weird things to your brain. It’s been almost 8 years and it’s difficult to even remember that time in my life, almost like my brain tries to block out the memories. Prayers to the victims and families, I live in Idaho and know several people directly affected. With that being said, I hope this case is AIR TIGHT against Bryan. DP/DR is no excuse.

[@christmastiger]

Damn you're lucky you got out of it. I've had it for like 17 years and the severity varies but damn does it suck. I force myself to engage and constantly remind myself everything is real but despite seeming normal it's a daily struggle.

[@Anne-pj7ny]

Visual snow is a constant overlay of static over everything you can see, it can make you feel unreal. I have this and my brother does too.

[@janicescott7338]

Me too! I did have it but cannot remember the exact point in my teens. I remember going to a mental health doctor that did not help at all, was a nut. The feeling of not being in reality was terrible. I’ve survived though for many years. Life is hard and it’s so important to know your child and keep the doors of communication open. Our brains aren’t even fully developed until about twenty-five.

[@janicescott7338]

@@christmastiger It is horrible! Mine got better when I changed my circumstances but I’m old now and have suffered anxiety most my life. I handle it fairly well. It’s hard enough just being in reality! Lol

[@peccantknavery6356]

He’s a human being. He hasn’t always been a crazy murderer. He was once a baby then a toddler and on up. Believe it or not our childhood selves are in our minds and our bodies and we become the commander of the our body but often those who have trauma are ruled by their child self.

[@cookie_dough_hangover]

Your comment made my cry. 😭😭

[@mad7fisher]

Who abused him - mentally or physically? One of them, or both of them. 😐 He didn't become this way in a vacum

[@bevs9995]

he fried his brain on drugs before he was even 15, and he was fully aware of it.

[@jimkirk1191]

And this is what is so heartbreaking when you see the pictures of the psychopaths as children and you see their childish smiles and laughter and then to see what they are capable of as adults makes one feel the same sadness that one feels when a dearly loved animal becomes rabied. We can only feel complete sorrow for the parents and siblings they have lost a child also

[@christmastiger]

@no chains no more I agree with Kevin, how do you think he was in a narcissistic household? I saw somewhere it was said by an alleged childhood friend who had sleepovers that the dad "made him like this" or something, but who knows what that means or it is true. He'd have to have repressed it if that were true because as a teenager he called his dad a good man on the forums so....I mean there's a lot of speculation thrown around.

[@LisaMitchellGD]

Dr John is so compassionate and professional, you can see he's very upset by the pain Bryan was in and that he didn't get help and this tragedy occurred

[@SheTraxter]

Yes! It’s upsetting as doctors wish they could help these kind of young people!

[@erikaewen9330]

I agree. If BK had received help the 4 College students likely may have never been murdered.

[@sabrinalennox2004]

Found you guys from watching News Nation. This is a great channel. Thank you!

[@persnickety369]

Peers at school can make daily life treacherous for kids who are different. It’s a shame young minds are thrust into that environment. It’s a mental boot camp for some kids without coping skills that aren’t practical for them to even have at such a young age. They spend all day every day in school. I really feel for the kids who are different as they are easy targets. As a former teacher, my heart would break for those kids. As much as you try to run interference, kids can be cruel creatures and crafty at finding opportunities out of sight of the adults. For an already unhinged mind… it’s the perfect storm for disaster.

[@colemansines9722]

I feel like these tragedies are the community as an accomplice.

[@teresacorrigan3076]

Rene Girard scapegoat theory. No one knows this but it explains everything and questions why we force kids together for years.

[@rachelkenyon4697]

Plenty of people get bullied and don't viciously murder four people.

[@tealemon1465]

IDK HOW BUT WE MUST STOP BULLYING!!!!!!

[@mrsdashwood9700]

Extreme bullying destroys young people and affects them for a lifetime. It’s unbearable. I blame the school systems in this country.

[@maemae4909]

It’s always fascinating getting the Mr.’s take and not lumping it all together as psychological issues but acknowledging he definitely could be having floaters, vertigo, migraines, etc but also showing compassion towards what it is- a 15 year old with deep psychological issues.

[@ruby1037]

Wow 🥺! I honestly feel that as a society we think people should just move past these issues. They need help. This doesn't not excuse one moment of pain he has caused anyone.

[@someoneout-there2165]

You're right but he was probably bullied by so many people that to him, in the end it made no difference who he murdered as they were all the same.

[@measson123]

This is when he was seventeen---with a long history of being bullied. Name-calling, having things thrown at him, being mocked by girls in particular. This is also during the time in which he lost 100 lbs. Drug use, rapid weight loss, social ostracism and bullying...what's not to love about life? Who would not feel lost, angry, resentful, frightened, pessimistic, etc...friends described him as looking 'scary' when he first lost the weight and you can see the stark difference as reflected in his school photos.

[@aseygirl9295]

I feel bad for the 16yr old Bryan because he needed help and for his parent’s to step in and be an advocate. That being said, I’m struggling to feel bad for the 28 yr old Bryan who knew something was wrong, yet chose to kill 4 people instead of get help. Many, many people have mental health issues with meds that have many neg side effects, yet don’t make the choice to murder people. I went my whole life with undiagnozed severe anxiety disorder and it wasn’t until I was in my 20’s living when I chose to get help because I knew something was wrong. Bryan knew something was wrong, was independant enough to get a master’s, live on his own, and work at a university, yet didn’t seek a diagnosis and try to get professional help? I can’t get past that one.

[@Musique68]

Agree with you. He's a grown man and, at any time, could have told someone he was having thoughts of harming others yet he didn't. He planned this for a while and there's evidence that he was communicating with people online after and discussing the murder. I just cannot feel an ounce of empathy for this monster who plunged a knife into his victims repeatedly. I believe evil exists and he personifies it. I'll save my empathy for the victims and their families. This video is an insult to all the millions who suffer from mental illness yet would never, ever harm anyone.

[@celtickitc]

Let's not forget, Forever in America prior to the current period, having a mental health condition was considered very shameful for the person and their family.

[@elstongunn4277]

@@celtickitc But not in his years of existence on this Earth. “Current period” would include his time period.

[@dreamingrightnow1174]

@@elstongunn4277 I don't think Kit Cat is saying the stigmatization is over.

[@AmyAndThePup]

I can. Maybe he thought he was beyond help. Maybe he believed the lie that seeking help would somehow make him less of a man. I'm guessing. There's no way for any of us to know. Like you, I was in my twenties when I first started seeking help for my depression and other hental health problems. But not everyone is willing. It''s tragic and incredibly sad.

[@bw988]

I appreciate the compassion you have for him as a teen in crisis. He is still a human who didn't get help

[@debk6598]

As a retired teacher, I have always wondered how we can build resilience in our children. I would love to have you do some shows on that. ♥️

[@HiddenTrueCrime]

That's a great idea.

[@persnickety369]

@@HiddenTrueCrime so glad you agree… yes please, yes please, yes please. That could be invaluable!

[@annwood6812]

I'm going to have to switch sides for a moment and say you can only build in a certain amount of resilience. At one time our school had the most lame ass counselor you could imagine. Every time a kid got called out for bullying they'd drag the victim into an office and try to counsel the victim how to be more "resilient" or how to deal with the issue. It's such a cowardly way to address the problem. Yes resilience is important, but we need to call a spade a spade. If someone is being cruel we need to haul in the bully not the victim. Used to infuriate me. -----I'm editing to add that parents who have a child who is bullying very often don't want to accept the truth. They themselves become difficult. Even good parents get defensive if a teacher brings up the issue. They can actually become quite vindictive or even litigious. Teachers don't get paid enough or trained enough to deal with this crap effectively.

[@debk6598]

@@annwood6812 I absolutely agree with you! Maybe we have different meanings of resilience. I would enjoy seeing the creators’ take on it. I’m looking at it in everyday things, not just bullying. I don’t see kids that will push through hard things. That’s where learning happens. They get rescued by parents who think they shouldn’t experience anything hard or unpleasant.

[@skipperng5657]

When my son was in middle school, he was bullied by some kids who threatened disturbing crimes against him and against his mother (me). Shocking behavior, truly. At first, I was met with a school "counselor" who posited the problem was so obviously to her that my son was ill equipped to handle bullying since he was coddled by a single mother. Victim-blaming at its finest. Also, that school "counselor" got to witness first hand that our little family was not going to be easy targets for bullies or their supporters(her). We successfully initiated programs in the school system for student awareness and retraining for teachers, administrators, and counselors what the term "zero tolerance" truly means.

[@nataliebaker8549]

Bryan is clearly a very intelligent person. It’s so sad that he’s lived with his mental health issues until it escalated to murder. We walk amongst people everyday with these issues and even when we see them, don’t know what to do about it. Studying the mind and actions of these people after the fact is getting us nowhere. This all starts in the childhood years and what we thing are the smallest things, can cause life long trauma to the brain.

[@someoneout-there2165]

People may not know what to do about it but one thing they should know is that going out of your way to hurt someone else doesn't help anyone. He didn't have an excise to do what he did but obviously the bullying only made things worse.

[@nataliebaker8549]

@@someoneout-there2165 I can only think the way I do about it because I wasn’t directly affected, I’ll admit. One has to wonder what it is that is so wrong or different in the human brain that would allow them to do something like this. No sane person with all there screws tightened could physically stab 4 innocent people to death. We can sit here all day long and say that it’s no excuse but that attitude will enable this to continue to happen. There is proof online that he was begging for answers. Hopefully, now that he’s already done the worst thing possible, he’ll get his answers. I hope that he subjects himself to some kind of study to figure out why killers do what they do and how their behavior escalates.

[@alycat9186]

I agree on your other points except that studying these people is going nowhere. I think that we have to study these people bc we are seeing the effects of what goes wrong when the moral fiber of our society falls apart. Looking out for one another, both parents being present in the home, practicing tolerance for one another, isolating ourselves from one another through less socializing, consuming too much processed food and technology, not being out in nature enough, having firm boundaries for our children so they feel safe and not being permissive parents bc it is the uncomfortable thing to do, not prioritizing being active enough and expending physical energy not just mental energy and the list goes on. NO ONE is perfect, but we can all do better. Studying the BK’s of the world reinforces the fact that we are a community and not an island onto ourselves. We can never have zero tragedy but we can reverse this steep upward trend of violence that we are seeing. Some people really are born as psychopaths but probably most are created bc of their environment.

[@islanderbyrd1881]

@@nataliebaker8549 Bryan's online blogs did nothing to help him. That is why kids need professional help. Families are too close to the situation, they are not licensed in mental health care. Outside help, therapists are trained to look into the family dynamics. The parents & family could be covering up what is actually going on in the home.

[@crystalinedreams6039]

@@nataliebaker8549 they said there is not proof, that it hasn't been verified that the person posting that online was bk. imo using him to study at this point will only give him the audience he craves to gloat over what he has done, making him more eager to get out so that he can do it again. it would be more positive to put him in isolation to force him to learn to live with himself/to love himself to correct what he has become.

[@MotherMissionary]

Greetings from Perth Western Australia. I very much appreciated hearing this discussion for the compassion and light it sheds upon the subject. Of course our hearts and sympathy is for his victims but without understanding the how and why of this unthinkable act we can never hope to prevent it from happening again.

[@stupka1111]

When I was young, before I knew I was autistic (before my diagnosis) I was trying to figure out myself with the help of the internet. I had the misfortune to frequent some internet forums for youth with schizoid personality disorder. Mostly had young men on them/ teens. His posts remind me a lot of those boys, they were very mean to other people. They hated themselves and other people and the world. They had no emotions and empathy. They had sense of nothingness and hopelessness in life, and nothing brought them joy. Could be very cruel without any reason. Some of them also engaged in magical thinking. I 'm happy I quickly figured out I had nothing in common with them. Now I'm scared to even think about them as adults. *I don't know if they actually had schizoid personality disorder, but they somewhat identified with it, as they were part of the forum. I don't know if they had any profesional help either.

[@June-tb4vi]

How are you today? Im hoping your in a good place 🙏

[@megkathleen]

I think it’s also very important to think about Bryan’s family and the other children’s families besides just the Goncalves’. They all lost children. Bryan’s family dealt with his apparent mental health issues in childhood, a heroin addiction, and now this. They now have to pay to have their windows and doors fixed after the police broke everything down. To hear Steven Goncalves say he wants Bryan’s life to end is quite frankly disgusting. I’ve lost a child. I know how that feels. But to say you look forward to another person’s child dying is HORRIBLE. There is no excuse for that. This is a family who bought their daughter a Range Rover - of course they wouldn’t call their daughter a mean girl. Still no excuse for them to have faced what they did but this is a lesson to us all - Treat everyone with kindness. How you want to be treated. You never know what another is going through or what could potentially make them snap. I hope all of those affected can find some sort of peace with the circumstances currently at hand. Glad you’re okay and are speaking out about this. You should be proud.

[@stupka1111]

@@June-tb4vi Thank you for asking. I'm well.

[@stupka1111]

@@megkathleen I'm so sorry for your loss. The older I get the less opinionated I am, and I get more empathetic. I wouldn't know what to say to any of the families, except for that I am so sorry for what have happened.

[@dsabo6426]

QUESTION: I was thinking that perhaps, BK had high hopes for getting some feelings of success having made it to a highly rated PhD program. But then sadly, he found himself in the same social situation. He was rejected by the local PD. He was not valued as a student. He was not getting any girls. What do you think about this possibly contributing to him finally giving into his impulses? Further, it seems that he tried to plan the crime. But ultimately on that day, he seems unorganized and frenzied when he committed these crimes. So I wonder if something else happened very close to the time that he committed the crime that caused him to do act when he allegedly did. Did something happen that weekend that pushed him over the edge? Another line of thinking I was having is related to being away from his parents. I guess I have the perhaps unpopular opinion that his family *did* probably try to help him. We don't know. But what I see is a father that planned to drive back across the country with his 28 year old son. That is a very kind thing to do. He also states that he knows his dad is a good man. Based on this little bit of info, I wonder if another contributing factor to him losing control could be being 2500 miles away from his parents for the first time.

[@andymichaels554]

Whole family look suspect to me

[@giorgismama8024]

I think so, too. As someone who moved across the country from my parents at a young age, I didn't have a good support system and the depression that I suffered from on and off as a child became much more pronounced. I think he had loving and good parents.

[@kyrieteleison3009]

I agree completely with this post.

[@Reiki-Zen]

I recall recently reading that the students in the classes he Teacher Assisted, banded together and went to the professors to say that Bryan’s TA comments were mean. I cannot recall where I read that this had been addressed with him but it was a public article. So could probably be found easily. At any rate, I think the possibility is that it was “one more straw on the camel’s back” possibly that nothing he did mattered or was socially correct.

[@zanzer386]

@@Reiki-Zeninteresting…also interesting to me is that after the crime there were no comments on graded papers and just 100’s given. Wonder if those were sarcastic-I-don’t-care-about-anything-anymore 100’s?

[@angtxsun4460]

Thank you two for sharing this with us, and your opinion, Dr. John. Any of us who are parents of children in their teens and twenties, we should feel empathy toward the teen boy, and know that boy still exists inside the cuffed man in orange. We can hold empathy for the lost boy along side the anger for the actions he chose to take. It is troubling that any care he gets now cannot undo his actions now. He reached out for help as a younger man and his pleas went unheard. We must do better, for the boy he was, and the victims he murdered now as a broken man. Dr. John, do you think he acted to harm victims before Nov 2022? Much respect

[@LastSupperClub]

Holy cow. Downloaded those posts and started reading, it’s all right there 😢 Thank you for posting that link.

[@Stormy7573S0OG]

Thank you so much for bringing this to us and covering it the way you did - the both of you! So appreciated

[@HmmIndeed]

This is an incredible find. Thank you to whoever got a hold of this and to you guys for sharing and discussing it. I feel sympathy for him, at least his younger self. I wish he had gotten the help he obviously needed then before he did what he did now.

[@protectusplease9833]

Thank you for jumping on impromptu especially since Dr John looks really under the weather. Hope you feel better soon Dr John, a very informative insight into Bryan K mental health issues. Unfortunately mental health issues are a taboo topic in general in our society. We fail to have productive discussions in the family unit, at schools, amongst friends & in the community. We really need to identify early in a child’s life & throughout a child’s development to adulthood so that they can get the help they need so they don’t feel alienated. Everyone needs to feel to be wanted, needed & love not abandoned, hated & bullied.

[@lynne5322]

Doc, blond hair darkening during adolescence is a real thing. Most adolescents are bewildered by their bodily changes, & he may be using it as a metaphor for loss of youth & innocence. Also, I don't think he's ascribing all his mental woes to visual snow. A great many people express themselves this way on forums, grappling with their ills & symptoms, trying to reach out & understand/unravel what is happening to them. So tragic that nothing really helped & he later made his evil choices. Two sisters in mental health make me wonder if something plagued this family congenitally & perhaps they were trying to cope by studying psychology. (He also studied psychology.)

[@msjsville]

As mother of a blond-to-brown haired son, I concur on this. I imagine his family has pics on their walls of this adorable blond boy full of fun he used to be. I can well imagine him contrasting that with his darker hair, maturing features and black mood and feeling a sense his whole being has gone dark.

[@angelastevenson15]

Myself and 2 out of 3 siblings had blonde hair but it got darker as we got older and turned completely brown by 15. My younger sister had jet black hair but hers also turned brown by teens. My two teenagers now had blonde hair up until last year. My daughter is 15 and my son is 14 and both of them still have dark ditty blonde hair but I know in a few years they will both be completely brown...

[@someoneout-there2165]

My heart goes out to his younger self. I understand the depressive thoughts, especially when I was that age. I hope something positive can come out of all of this and people can try harder to be nicer to each other. Someone being "different" or "weird" is no excuse to want to make someone feel even worse about themselves.

[@megkathleen]

I think it’s also very important to think about Bryan’s family and the other children’s families besides just the Goncalves’. They all lost children. Bryan’s family dealt with his apparent mental health issues in childhood, a heroin addiction, and now this. They now have to pay to have their windows and doors fixed after the police broke everything down. To hear Steven Goncalves say he wants Bryan’s life to end is quite frankly disgusting. I’ve lost a child. I know how that feels. But to say you look forward to another person’s child dying is HORRIBLE. There is no excuse for that. This is a family who bought their daughter a Range Rover - of course they wouldn’t call their daughter a mean girl. Still no excuse for them to have faced what they did but this is a lesson to us all - Treat everyone with kindness. How you want to be treated. You never know what another is going through or what could potentially make them snap. I hope all of those affected can find some sort of peace with the circumstances currently at hand.

[@scottlaux6934]

I would say the younger Bryan no longer exist. All that's left is the monster. For some reason his suffering left him no empathy for the suffering of others. And he is a monster. He would almost certainly go on as a serial killer.

[@angelastevenson15]

@@megkathleen I couldn't disagree more. His daughter was brutally murdered in her own home by this piece of garbage and it's people like him that deserve the death penalty. I am from Scotland and we don't have the death penalty here and I've never been in favour of it. But what he did to these innocent young people with their whole lives in front of them, if anyone deserves it then it's him. Also even if she was a mean girl (which imo I don't believe she was) it in no way makes what he did ok. Also I don't think any of them were mean kids. Just going by videos of them and what others are saying about them. No it's his right as a father of 1 of the victim's to ask for the death penalty. Also Bryan wasn't worried about what this would do to his family or thinking of how this would affect them so I don't see them as a reason not to want that for him. It's what he deserves...

[@angelastevenson15]

@@megkathleen also having to pay to fix some doors and windows, how is that even relevant. As for Kaylee getting bought a range rover, what the hell has that got to do with anything. If my kids did well in college I would love to be able to buy them a new car so I don't see what that has to do with anything. The facts are what matter. The fact is he deserves the death penalty for these horrible, senseless murders. Life in prison just isn't justice. He took 4 beautiful, bright kids out of this world in under 15mins. He doesn't deserve anyone's empathy. I do feel for his family but they are not a reason to not ask for the death penalty. Everyone that's ever been on death row is someone's child but they are there for a reason. He didn't think about the parents of the 4 victims or his own family for that matter so why should Kaylee's Dad think of them when his whole world has just been shattered. No I agree with him 100%. Justice will be when he takes his last breath...

[@tarzjcash1132]

I’ve had mental health issues for ten years now and he has described so much of what it’s like!! Including the fog in eyesight from mostly headaches and anxiety grinding of the jaw And the behaviour towards the family.. soooo true

[@MadameRobinson]

I would black out when planning for the next days ‘ lesson plans. It passed with medication and a bit of counseling.

[@tarzjcash1132]

@@MadameRobinson thank you I was surprised to see only a few people knew that it mental health issues do hsve side effects physically and that the fog isn’t just a description of his emotional feelings!!

[@MadameRobinson]

@@tarzjcash1132 I’m so glad I may have helped a bit. At first I would just stand there until it passed. Then it got easier. I was a teacher so I had a lot of anxiety at the end of the day. I taught two languages and 4 different levels. I spent an entire year working day and night and weekends to overlearn everything. It was actually a pleasure and I improved my fluency immensely. I hope you are able to work through the fog.

[@kristinamusantejd735]

Thank you Dr John for coming on when you’re sick. Feel better. It is very sad that this man didn’t get the help he needed and innocent people paid the price. 😢

[@1234OopsyDaisy]

I agree with Carol the fact that he can articulate these feelings at that age is very advanced for a boy that age.

[@Seline]

I'd have a general question for Dr John: When a murderer has a history of f.e. being bullied/mental health issues/physical issues/social issues, could it be that the murder is not necessarily about the act of killing itself but instead an expression of extreme resentment towards society? What I mean by this is that the murderer does not get "satisfied" by the death of the victims but instead by the consequence that their death has on society: The grief of families and friends as well as the fear of a whole town. The murderer that suffered all these years basically wants other human beings to suffer with him.

[@lisawarren3239]

Great question!!!

[@barefootbreezy6983]

If this is the case would he/she choose victims that embodied what he hated about society?

[@Seline]

@@barefootbreezy6983 Maybe chosing victims that have a "perfect life" because it triggers the perpetrator that other human beings can have a good life and he cannot? Or consciously chosing victims that would affect everyone in town like f.e. young, good-looking and popular people?

[@dsoule4902]

Wouldn't the aftermath be part of the gratification?

[@queeniebee7736]

Lay opinion but, I think the alienation compounded over time/years….add in that he is a male in the sexual prime…and my guess he was perpetually refused by women…which allowed the torment to be directed towards women that he resented or women that reminded him of women that refused him…all symptoms growing in the wrong direction w/o medical and psychological and psychiatric assistance. I believe he hated the act and wasn’t relieved from the pain. My heart aches and really want to encourage all friends and family to help our children- those adjusted and those maladjusted to their life. Ugh. So sad. He will probably and finally open up and talk to professionals and learn his deficiencies and be helped. Too late, and he will pay with his physical freedom for the mental help. God bless the victims. I know they could care less in his pathology…their children didn’t deserve to die for him to get help.

[@Samantha-ps2vv]

Dr. John you’re amazing! If only you’d been able to treat this young man we wouldn’t be here right now. 🙏

[@bethluther3950]

Just found you guys last week. Am getting caught up. Really like the logical (teaching) presentations. Learning a lot!

[@fluffystarafina]

The struggle re remorse could be that he intellectually knows he should feel bad but doesn't. Sounds to me that at some point he started to wonder what was wrong with him. He wasn't studying psychology and criminology, he was studying HIMSELF. quite common for people who want to explore themselves but don't want to tell anyone,they go on a counselling course rather than therapy etc

[@janeneb3122]

It is sad to hear this. It's good to discuss this and realize that BK was once a child who was suffering. There are so many people suffering due to his horrific actions. I hope you both feel better soon!

[@ginabeaudette158]

I am not ashamed to say I'm only ten minutes in and reading this teen boys posts, how he hears screams and doesn't feel like he's real and how nothing exists... I am heart broken for him, that he suffered this alone and wasn't able to find help until it was too late, until he was consumed by the madness. To be high functioning while also so sick. Obviously he is way past getting help and the atrocities he committed are unforgivable but the boy on this forum? I wish he hadn't suffered whatever it is that drove him to madness and feeling so utterly alone.

[@VerifiedVegan]

@@kevinhornbuckle how do you know what he had? Do you have brain scans? Drug use is proven to cause visual snow. Only in America do we sympathize with murders and forget the victims. That’s what he wants.It doesn’t matter what’s wrong with him and we certainly can’t diagnose from online posts like this guy is. He murdered 4 innocent people, plead insanity and try and get help or put him to death. Period.

[@VerifiedVegan]

And further more what if those were your kids? do you think it would matter to you if he was mentally ill if your child was dead? Would you still be heartbroken for HIM? OR FOR YOUR CHILD? It does t matter what he was going through it matters what he did. The innocent victims matter.

[@VerifiedVegan]

@@kevinhornbuckle This is the problem, it doesn’t matter what “we” want. The only people that matter, that deserve a “why” are the victims and their families. The only people this Dr is helping are more killers. If someone that is considering a murder and watches this they won’t think “I think I’ll go get help” what they will think is “Look, so many people feel sorry for this killer, they are heartbroken and the Dr gives an excuse for why I feel this way” DANGEROUS and one last comment….BK isn’t even convicted(yes I think he’s guilty with what we know so far)but, let’s say he’s not, it’s so unethical that this Dr would POST AND DIAGNOSIS this person to the world. This was uploaded in the middle of the night so they could be first instead of analyzing it after an admission of guilt or HE is convicted.

[@lifeislife489]

He was on heroin as a teen wasn't he?

[@ginabeaudette158]

@@VerifiedVegan I understand your compassion for the victims and the families. I share those feelings of anger and sadness. I can also suspend those feelings to analyze data with neutrality so I am also able to see a young man whose biology and psychology was changed by excessive bullying. I can have compassion for a young man who was excessively bullied, abused, and treated horribly by his peers for a long period of time and then suffered extreme mental illness that went untreated as a result. It can be both.

[@Lisa-vj6pz]

You guys are awesome for for taking the energy to get this podcast out....... I applaud you big time....... Mission is on point..... I'm glad that we are having the conversation...... I'm glad that you guys are taking an approach and going in a direction Not many have gone..... You guys are coming from a place of compassion and empathy...... And that's good ....we need that for sure.... I am pretty confident that it's going to come down to good food and good farming practices for our soils..... That's what it's going to come down to..... But these are baby steps in the right direction for sure

[@millicentsheridan8980]

As a mom my heart breaks for his mom. I like everyone is shocked in the pulse and heart punched that there could be such evil on our beautiful green and blue earth… This is the second time I’ve watched your podcast I discovered you few days ago when does the monster was captured. Just wanted to say thanks to both of you you’re a fantastic team on and off camera and I know a little bit about being on camera thank you for your insight

[@HiddenTrueCrime]

Thank you so much Millicent!

[@Magic-Myrlin]

I love when you two jump on and surprise us, great content as always.

[@wendyg2386]

Do you think there is any way to identify & help people like BCK while they are young & before they commit such crimes? Bullying seems to be such a key to some of this. My heart just goes out to others who could be in this delicate position.

[@teresacorrigan3076]

Maybe they get bullied because they are psychopaths.

[@fatgrandmafinds]

@@teresacorrigan3076 or because kids are jerks.

[@marcosmarin8930]

@@teresacorrigan3076 What a stupid remark

[@daintysabrina27]

The mental health system in America is terrible

[@mad7fisher]

@@teresacorrigan3076 you're right. Doesn't it surely sound like he's on the spectrum? Asbergers. We don't know what his home life was like; all of these mass murderers & serial killers had trauma & abuse in their childhood. I did read there's some super religiousIty with the mother - very anti LBGT. We have no idea the weirdness this person was exposed to. Something turned him this way. Genetics ,+ environment : We'll here stories come trickling in

[@AncoraImparoPiper]

It is amazing that somebody with such severe mental health issues was able to focus sufficiently on his studies to complete a graduate degree and on to PhD studies before it all began to unravel with these murders ( assuming that this is Kohberger posting to that forum).

[@casey6223]

It has been pointed out many times that criminology is one of the easiest subjects to study. Pretty much a cakewalk. 🤷🏻‍♀🤷🏻‍♀

[@diann3880]

I can’t thank you enough for this video. For all the families involved - Heart breaking. I believe he held back with his family. Even if he had told him of his mental distress it’s not easy find/afford proper mental health services

[@megkathleen]

I think it’s also very important to think about Bryan’s family and the other children’s families besides just the Goncalves’. They all lost children. Bryan’s family dealt with his apparent mental health issues in childhood, a heroin addiction, and now this. They now have to pay to have their windows and doors fixed after the police broke everything down. To hear Steven Goncalves say he wants Bryan’s life to end is quite frankly disgusting. I’ve lost a child. I know how that feels. But to say you look forward to another person’s child dying is HORRIBLE. There is no excuse for that. This is a family who bought their daughter a Range Rover - of course they wouldn’t call their daughter a mean girl. Still no excuse for them to have faced what they did but this is a lesson to us all - Treat everyone with kindness. How you want to be treated. You never know what another is going through or what could potentially make them snap. I hope all of those affected can find some sort of peace with the circumstances currently at hand.

[@MyLifeInTheDesert]

His sister was/is a mental health therapist…

[@MyLifeInTheDesert]

@@megkathleen you’re making an assumption she was a “mean girl”. And lots of families who lose a loved one through murder believe in capital punishment and want it to be enacted for their case. That doesn’t make them a bad person. It’s perfectly normal for a parent whose daughter was stabbed to death to want revenge. You are making judgments about a lot of people that you don’t know. That’s fine that you don’t believe in capital punishment. That is your right. But the Goncalves family has expressed sadness for the Kohberger family. They know this is hard for them. Being kind to Brian may not have changed any of this-look into the genetic basis for sociopathy. In addition THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT THE VICTIMS WERE UNKIND to him. Quit blaming the victim. Sick.

[@islanderbyrd1881]

They had $45,000 dollars to send him to LaSalle. Maybe they should have spent it on mental healthcare. He won't be using all of that education towards his future in prison. Boys do hide their feelings! A friend of mine just had her son committed to inpatient care because the Police had to forcefully remove him from school. He loves the inpatient care groups! They don't have a lot of money, but they found a way. Most treatment is on a sliding scale based on the family income. Suicide could have been a possibility down the road. Isn't your child worth it?

[@hywelmurray]

Question. How significant is Bryan’s apparent insomnia or lack of sleep. His revelations as a 17 year old indicate he had trouble sleeping at night and his behaviour leading up to the murders suggests he was active during the night. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had been awake for 72 hours when he walked into that house. Could his lack of sleep contributed to psychosis?

[@Horseymama1]

My 20 yo daughter suffers with visual snow and has her entire life. We only found out a few years ago, she thought that was how everyone's vision was. She also has tinnitus, we found that out at the the same time. It made so much sense as in her early years she struggled hearing and reading... specialists said nothing wrong, we took so many times.. completely irrelevant to this but shes done well and isn't a mass murderer and has no other mental health problems. Didn't brilliantly at school and college. Backpacking around Australia atm.

[@lisaforte1575]

They appear to be conditions that can certainly come on independently of any other symptoms, but it is interesting that they seem to accompany other conditions on a regular basis.

[@MP-sleeps]

@@lisaforte1575 I’m in my late 20’s and have had visual snow all my life, and I only learned a few years ago that this isn’t how everyone’s vision is! My understanding is that visual snow refers to that symptom, but “visual snow syndrome” is different. Some people have temporary visual snow during migraines, etc. With VSS it’s always there and includes other symptoms such as floaters, palinopsia, light sensitivity, flashes of light, color swirly things and shapes, afterimages, etc. Many, many sufferers of VSS also happen to have psychological disorders such as depersonalization, depression, and anxiety. A lot of the symptoms Bryan mentions in his posts are not symptoms of VSS (such as “delusions of grandeur, poor self image, crazy thoughts”) and can most likely be attributed to a comorbid psychological disorder(s). That is not to say though that the psychological disorder(s) wasn’t perhaps triggered or worsened in some way by the VS

[@Horseymama1]

@@MP-sleeps that's really interesting. My daughter hasn't got any other problems. Well adjusted, social, never had depression or anything. My youngest however doesn't have visual snow or tinnitus but does have depression and anxiety and on medication for it. I was absolutely gutted for her, we were talking about something and it came up and she said isn't that how you see? I can't imagine having to live life with that. She's an avid reader so it doesn't bother her, or she says it doesn't.

[@mannotwiththeplan]

@@lisaforte1575 Since visual snow seems to be something got wired wrong in the brain, there is higher probability (not certain) that something else got wired wrong also.

[@rokkinroll]

What is the "visual snow" attributed to ?

[@ohmy7397]

I just subscribed because... 1. There is true love and concern between you both as well as concern towards the perp. I'm used to hearing so much bashing in true crime community, I need a softer landing rather than hate hate hate! THANK YOU for showing empathy!!!!!! 2. My heart is broken for everyone involved. I look at this man like a man/child. So lost and confused looking (like deer in headlight) yet so compliant and accepting of the gruesome charges in a quadruple homicide. It's so confusing because he was also academically mature and seemed to have an extensive educational background. God bless everyone in these troubled times.

[@heatherleahl]

Same!!! Thank you for posting this!!

[@joshuarosenblatt]

Well said. My thoughts exactly

[@Esquire-ul9xs]

Hi there, surely one of the best podcasts out there and love all the Dostoevsky references! I would love to hear Dr. John dig deeper into the reasons why young children turn into bullies. I think a big part of it might be the pressure some children have to deal with at school and at home like the pressure to perform. Also the structure of our society today, in which we oftentimes tend to divide people into winners and losers, is a contributing factor.

[@someoneout-there2165]

I think a lot of it is peer pressure. If someone "cool" is doing something people will just go along with it, right or wrong. The more that get involved the more the lines between right and wrong blur.

[@planetliberty]

teachers and parents know who the bullies are but keep collective secrets. teachers and parents need to have positive inclusive activities that create a bond among students instead of turning schools into police states

[@JonShade-fy2gm]

It reminds me of The Who song Behind Blue Eyes - a kind of teenage angst song, but way beyond - the blue eyes a metaphor for pain, dissociation, anger, self-hatred… often a very comforting song for depressed teenagers (it sure was very much for me) - the lyrics are eerily similar to what he expresses: “No one knows what it’s like/to be the bad man/to be the sad man/behind blue eyes… No one knows what it’s like to be hated/to be fated/to telling only lies But my dreams they aren’t as empty/as my conscience seems to be/ I have hours only lonely/ My love is vengeance/that’s never free”

[@islanderbyrd1881]

I remember that song! Good pick!

[@ellenmorrell8332]

I enjoy listening to both of you! I live about 2 hours from Delphi. You made me understand what was going on with that trial . Thank you,

[@acovert8241]

Chris from The Interview Room KZbin praised you for insight. Glad I found you both. Fascinating break down if BK’s words on internet. Heartbreaking

[@susiboyles633]

Hello, I had postpartum psychosis. Im grateful I lived through it. Its alot to unpack. One thing I had was alot of visual problems. So bad I changed my contacts hourly sometimes within minutes. Thinking it would help. Yet that was the least of my problems. I didnt know that of course. If I didnt have the people around me that I did I would not be here today. Other physical things food was gross and sleep wasnt needed. Sometimes I did hear things others didnt. Banging and knocks. My son crying when he wasnt. People didnt understand me. Thank god for me people believed that I believed it was true and that lead them to be able to explain things. Even if it took them hours and hours they had compassion. No one wanted to do what they had to do to help me. Yet they did and Im here today because of them. Once they did explain though another crazy thought came and it was exhausting for them. The guilt after this was overwelming for me. Once the rock of my family I was left broken. Things went from bad to life threating with one thought. I wont go into that but it was so intrusive I couldnt stop myself. I tried so hard I didnt want to die. I couldnt keep my hands off my neck..it was like when you have to go to the bathroom. At some point it was going to happened no matter how hard I tried to hold it back. I did have other health problems but that was my diagnosis.

[@susiboyles633]

This was my third child. I was 41 years old. My girls at the time were 19 and 24. I already had 3 grandchildren. Very in control. Thought I was very emotionally stable. Felt lots of shame and guilt. Its nothing like you would think. Its not something that you can easily explain.

[@ninapoe]

@@susiboyles633 Thank you for sharing. I had a similar experience with severe depression. It's scary and tough to share, but it helps knowing others have been through similar symptoms.

[@evi3306]

I’m a clinical psych PhD student and the obsessive-compulsive pieces jumped out at me. I think they can be missed by people outside of mental health who view OCD more as extreme organization or as checking, counting, and cleaning compulsions.

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

Don’t flatter yourself.

[@hollymeredith4148]

POTS can cause visual snow. dizziness. fainting. low energy. Your blood pressure cannot adjust fast enough for example when standing suddenly. It can be worsened by dehydration, low sodium, low electrolytes.

[@PutTheShovelDown]

Good investigation work. This is the first new thing I’ve heard since the affidavit

[@jooliagoolia9959]

Thank you for the information especially while not feeling well. You two are my go to for understanding these cases.

[@angieallsup]

Dr. John is brilliant! He knows his stuff! Very impressive and interesting

[@robinputnam2569]

so strange I just looked up Visual Snow (all physical) and have had it for years. One time it got bad enough for me to go to an eye doctor, but he told me it was age related (51) and the worst would just go away and it did, but I did still have it to a certain extent. I guess through out the years I just got use to it. Thank you so much for all your Podcasts they are invaluable when it comes to understanding these cases.

[@k8marlowe]

Thank you guys for coming on with what is potentially a huge insight into this offender’s background and motivations. It is SO refreshing to be part of conversations that go beyond the gruesome details of a crime. I’ve long been of the opinion that this country has been failing miserably at understanding what’s really behind all of the gun violence and mass shooters. Like most of those tragedies, this case appears to be another example of why improved and early access to mental health treatment is such an important issue. Y’all are the best ❤

[@heatherleahl]

Totally agree!! I’m so happy to have found this!!!

[@aheineman9138]

Lauren and Dr. John, I want to express my appreciation for your hard work on locating, for verifying the authenticity (to the best of your ability as non-LE), for explaining why you believe it to be authentic, and for suggesting that viewers make their own decisions as to how they regard the information. Most of all, I appreciate your integrity. You deserve credit. If it means anything, I’ve never followed CNN or NYT on a regular basis, but I watch all of your videos. Keep up the great work!❤👍🏼 Btw, I watched this live at 1:00 AM (well, the first part anyway-until I fell asleep, lol) but wanted to come back to comment now that you’ve been disrespected.

[@HiddenTrueCrime]

Thank you so much for this kind comment!

[@veronicaboyd3696]

You two are amazing!! Always interesting and informative 🤨 Thank you for all you do!

[@meganharperjonesstudio]

Thank you guys so much for what you’re doing! You’re my faves on this case! 🖤🖤

[@joeindyjoeindy3078]

Dr. John's final thoughts...a very well articulated version of my own. A heartbreaking situation all around. I recommend watching a Surviving the Survivor episode featuring BTK's daughter, Kerri...she provides a fascinating insight into....well...idk, hell. Ty both for sharing Dr. John's insights....and feel better Dr. J

[@kristagardner8303]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom in such a respectful manner.

[@JulieAnne13]

Thank you for having this discussion and for your expressions of empathy. We are all human with human failings. It’s so very sad that he could have gotten help as a teen and perhaps not committed these horrific crimes.

[@wynative-lonna7872]

Thank you for such an informative podcast. You two absolutely rock. Feel better Dr. Ba be (John).🤗❤️😴

[@findsummerstruth5175]

I can't help but feel bad, that he obviously didn't receive the mental health help he so desperately needed. 😔 Shocking; what happens when people continue to worsen, over time. So tragic for everyone.

[@barbh1]

It is very, very expensive to access professional mental health. Honestly, it's out of the reach of middle class people even with insurance. You can go to a clinic and get some superficial help by students, but unless the carers are extremely gifted, it won't get to the root of these complicated and severe mental illnesses.

[@megkathleen]

I think it’s also very important to think about Bryan’s family and the other children’s families besides just the Goncalves’. They all lost children. Bryan’s family dealt with his apparent mental health issues in childhood, a heroin addiction, and now this. They now have to pay to have their windows and doors fixed after the police broke everything down. To hear Steven Goncalves say he wants Bryan’s life to end is quite frankly disgusting. I’ve lost a child. I know how that feels. But to say you look forward to another person’s child dying is HORRIBLE. There is no excuse for that. This is a family who bought their daughter a Range Rover - of course they wouldn’t call their daughter a mean girl. Still no excuse for them to have faced what they did but this is a lesson to us all - Treat everyone with kindness. How you want to be treated. You never know what another is going through or what could potentially make them snap. I hope all of those affected can find some sort of peace with the circumstances currently at hand.

[@MyLifeInTheDesert]

@@megkathleen quit copying and pasting your ridiculous comment

[@MyLifeInTheDesert]

@@barbh1 you realize his sister was a mental health therapist

[@lilybee_]

Thank you for this video!! Mental illness is a real illness and not enough attention is drawn to the suffering it causes. This doesn't excuse BK's crimes but it should make us think. How can we help people before they get to the point of hurting others?

[@michellelee7230]

This made me very sad for the teenage Bryan Kohberger. I have a 14yr old and his biggest worry is if his friends can go snowboarding or dirt biking on the weekends, I can’t even imagine him having any of these heavy thoughts or feelings.

[@eileengarcia7923]

Great show! Very dynamic duo! I learned so much thanks!!!

[@slwtgf]

Your willingness to set “appearances” aside to get this information out is greatly appreciated. The lack of time for getting “done up” prior to going live is fitting, given the grim gravity of this entire situation. The material analysis = A+ , imo, so ya got a new subscriber, here, and Thank you.

[@simonelcross]

I have visual snow... it started after some extreme anxiety that pushed my to the point of disassociating (or derealisation). Simply started from post partum chemical changes. I still deal with health anxiety. If you dont hyper focus on it, then you dont even notice it - and hyper focusing is exactly what people with anxiety do. Im totally fine and living a normal and functioning life.

[@deborahvandenheuvel1904]

This is amazing you found this info. His dad needs to see this .

[@PocketAces2Start]

His Defense Attorney is probably downloading it right now.

[@lisak5804]

Feel better Dr John! Thank you for jumping on!

[@lorihall3411]

WOW! This is HUGE! I don’t know if I would believe it was a probability if it was just on an online sleuth’s channel! But you guys are well respected in this field so my jaw has definitely dropped over this news!

[@scottlaux6934]

Lots of us have experienced mental health issues. I checked myself into hospitals twice when I was younger to get treatment for anxiety and depression ( Bad idea I don't recommend). But we have empathy for others and don't want others to feel what we feel, much less end lives and send their loved ones into years of hell. His depression does not make him a monster. His lack of empathy and compassion does.

[@jess1827]

100% agree and thought the same thing.

[@islanderbyrd1881]

It really helped someone in our family.

[@SurvivorC]

This is frightening as I divorced someone with many similar patterns (no demons screaming) but pretty sure was a person with NPD. OCD, anxiety, always talking about toxins etc., the mental, emotional & financial abuse was decades. Because I knew his trauma & loved him I kept staying. It almost destroyed me.

[@kaileim970]

I hear you. I was married to someone similar. I think I thought I could love him enough to 'heal' his broken self. But I couldn't and it almost physically destroyed our family. After his suicide, it still broke our family psychologically and our grown children are still dealing with it.

[@sara_387]

The Psychiatric Symptomology of Visual Snow Syndrome (2021) "Notably, a range of psychiatric symptoms are consistently reported in VSS patients; these include depression and anxiety, (2, 3, 5), as well as fatigue, sleep disturbances (7, 8), and depersonalisation, a dissociative experience involving a sense of estrangement from the body (9). Irritability and difficulty concentrating are also frequent complaints (3). It is currently unclear how these psychiatric symptoms relate to each other or to the visual symptoms of the disorder, and ultimately how they impact quality of life."

[@fabbi9548]

What is VS?

[@conniestone6251]

@@fabbi9548 visual snow, as he is describing in the past posts.

[@sara_387]

@@fabbi9548 "Its defining symptom is visual snow (VS), described as constant, flickering static across the entire visual field."

[@sara_387]

This is concerning, and mirrors the experiences described in the posts: "Depersonalisation (CDS) scores showed the most consistent relationship with the number of visual symptoms and patient ratings of VS severity. CDS scores were also found to contribute significantly to VS intensity and the number of symptoms experienced. Depersonalisation refers to subjective feelings of detachment from the physical body and mental processes, and may involve a diminished sense of agency or feelings of being “robotic” (24)." "Nearly 45% of VSS patients in this study reported having experienced depersonalisation, and over 25% showed scores above the scale cut-off indicating a possible depersonalisation disorder. This suggests that depersonalisation is not only common in VSS, but is severe in a significant number of patients. Derealization, a dissociative experience characterised by a sense that the surrounding world is unreal or artificial (24), was also reported by ~30% patients."

[@jodyadams9512]

Thank you Lauren and John ❤

[@peccantknavery6356]

I think the screaming is himself and his sadness. For being and 17yo male, he’s incredibly self reflective.

[@cathychase663]

We have to do better at mental health in this country

[@whitakercindy03]

I would like to see mandatory communication and psychology classes of a helpful nature being put in schools. Anger and stress management

[@juneyshu6197]

We had peer counseling group in 1974. We had Im OK, Youre OK. Games People Play. P. E. T., programs, 12 steps, all kinds of peer group activity. Wish it would come back to the spotlight.

[@txtopaz7997]

First time viewer and I hit the jackpot! You both bring such needed compassion to this subject

[@captainhennahead2323]

This is heartbreaking, and very insightful. Thank you for this. Subscribed.

[@deannag48]

Thank you for your insight and knowledge about Brian. As a psychiatrist I find your knowledge excellent.

[@HiddenTrueCrime]

Wow, thank you!

[@luv2luv720]

I never expected to feel sorrow for a murderer! His feelings he had, while being up during the night, is something a lot of people with mental health problems struggle with. The darkness brings dark thoughts for some reason. Wonder why that is?

[@real_mikey_s]

This show was incredible!!! Thanks so much. Huge insight into this mind of a 17 yr old who became a future killer. Hope this helps anyone going through this in some way. Again... incredible

[@maemae4909]

It really is fascinating and you could see Mr was really keeping in mind he was a young man, very outwardly trying to find answers and seeking help in his own way to no avail. This man could do hours upon hours of dissecting every little thing of these perpetrators and I’d be hanging on to every word because he conveys information so well, explains things incredibly good and while taking it for what it is, still has compassion and a want to learn more himself about what made the person the way they are. At the stage in life Mr. is most professionals speak in such a black and white matter of fact, no grey area to it and he always speaks in a way that he has compassion for the young individual where he was in that moment in his life as well as still advocating for the victims this individual ☠️ with no mercy, no care whatsoever. To see BK’s life broken down in this way really helps one understand a lot better a brain that is very difficult to comprehend.

[@jessicabrown8616]

Just thanking you guys so much for this video! I saw your live on the Kohberger case a few days ago, and kept wondering why visual snow wasn't mentioned; when I first heard about it, it seemed so miserable and like it must have affected BK every moment of every day. But this was a super thorough unpacking of how impossible it would have been for visual snow to have contributed to the level of personality issues he had, and I really appreciated Dr. John's theory that it's even possible for it to have been a psychosomatic effect of his other obsessive tendencies. I do think that if he did have visual snow syndrome, it does sound miserable and like it could really affect someone who was already struggling with MH issues and discerning reality from fiction though.

[@hardwired8084]

THIS is why my heart breaks every time I see Bryan kohberger … I couldn’t understand before … but now i realize that it’s because the pain is palpable … my emotions at seeing him means that it is real otherwise I would just have felt the hate and disgust that matched the crime but I didn’t!! I was totally puzzled but now I understand!! Thank you!!

[@susanray975]

It is v sad- Depression is soul-crushing and he clearly needed help.. It manifested into deadly anger..