BREAKING POINT.

AD| Yfood Website: bit.ly/Elphick_yfood_yt
Yfood discount code: ELPHICK-KZbin
Welcome back to our Camp Series with Lucinda Fredericks! In this video, we get real about the ups and downs of equestrianism, as the effects of Bicton finally boil over.
As a rider, I know that falling is part of the game. But when I took a hard tumble at Bicton, I didn't expect it to have such a lasting impact on me. In this video, I share my raw emotions as I struggle to come to terms with jumping my ponies again.
I am so grateful for Ellie, who stepped in to ride Dee for me when I just couldn't. Her's and Lucinda's support and understanding helped me through one of the toughest moments of my equestrian journey.
I was reluctant to share this, as I do worry about the comments and my reputation in the industry. However, this day I was genuinely terrified to come to a fence on my own horse, and I think it's so important to air this to the equestrian world.
Lucinda's website: www.lucindafredericks.com/
Other videos you might enjoy...
I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS...
• I HAVE SOME EXCITING N...
THE 2022 EVENT SEASON DEBRIEF - The good, bad and ugly
• THE 2022 EVENT SEASON ...
DAY IN THE LIFE OF A HORSEY BOYFRIEND
• DAY IN THE LIFE OF A H...
MY FRIEND JUMPS MY PONY
• MY FRIEND JUMPS MY PONY
SHOWJUMPING AFTER A FALL ~Bicton 3 day event (Part 3)
• SHOWJUMPING AFTER A FA...
I HAVE MY WORST EVER HORSE FALL ~ Bicton 3 day event part 2
• I HAVE MY WORST EVER H...
Instagrams: @elphick.event.ponies @adventures.of.hobbit
For any business enquiries please contact me through my email: [e-mail]

[@elphick.event.ponies]

Thank you so much for these lovely comments guys, really means a lot ❤

[@kelseyrides]

we love you no matter what! you’re such an inspiration to me as a rider

[@calumbrown9665]

You are so amazing at what you do your passion for this sport is like no other you got this Meg!!! we all believe in you TEAM ELPHICK!!!🧡

[@tracibishop8582]

You ride amazingly and keep at it ❤️

[@kara8586]

here for you, meg

[@Sophie_Equestriann]

❤

[@jelphick4686]

As Meg's Mum (the Hobbit) I just wanted to say how difficult & upsetting this was to watch 😪 However, I also wanted to say a HUGE 'Thank You' to everyone who has written a message of support or sent a few kind words. I'm so grateful that Meg has such a lovely, kind & supportive community behind her, without you all it would be so much harder. Thank you xx

[@serenkitchener7177]

Meg is a beautiful rider and like Lucinda said Dee is a real credit to you guys and the work you’ve done with her. You’ve totally and utterly got this, Meg ❤ no doubt about it!! Xx

[@hellsgirvan7654]

You should be so so proud of your daughter my mum won’t even watch me ride (I’m 44) 😂

[@alexschwebach3874]

You’re the best MOM!

[@donnastill5417]

Now I’m crying again 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@topperhatschire]

I'm a mother, too. It's hard for even me to watch! But she's been growing so much and she's going to get through this, too.

[@mollynicholson2390]

Thank you for showing an honest, authentic representation of the difficult parts of this sport. Riding can be dangerous and scary, and it is refreshing to have that side of things shown by a rider we all look up to. This is going to make a lot of riders feel less alone ❤️

[@elphick.event.ponies]

Thank you, I hope it does as is such a strange feeling when you love a sport so much! Thanks for the lovely comment! ❤

[@idajoh09]

Could not agree more, had a fall on my horse this winter myself when jumping and its sceary trying to get back bad menoties stay so well in the mind. But so glad you got help seeing what a well done Job you have done with this horse. Cant wait to see you get over this fair❤️

[@laurenpaige2896]

Couldn't have said it better myself.. you have no idea how much it helps to see well established riders having these struggles.. we all go through it

[@annjohnson8437]

That's exactly what I was thinking! ❤️

[@georgiaadams8261]

I love how Lucinda can be tough but was so understanding and supportive when you were struggling.

[@feichannel]

It’s mentally, physically and emotionally challenging. Being open about that and understanding it is a huge part of making progress 👏

[@TMHJ_Equestrian-Official]

Hi FEI! ❤

[@CowsforGalsOffical]

FEI can you start paying attention to Rollkur??And the abuse in y'all's shows sometimes,alot of the riders who use Rollkur keep winning and the riders who abuse keep winning and it really is, unacceptable

[@mollybelmont182]

The Golden Pony and Me, yes dressage is slowly being destroyed

[@crystalbrewster5265]

It’s going to be okay Meg. Everyone who rides long enough has times like this. You are so brave for filming it and you’re going to help so many people who are going through the PTSD of a fall. Just remember all that adrenaline/anxiety is your body trying to protect you. You aren’t crazy, or overreacting , you experienced a dangerous and scary fall and you are having to convince your body that it isn’t going to happen again.

[@angiedyer1511]

👏👏👏❤️

[@jenniferhaas3874]

Well said

[@gracephoebea]

I absolutely love Lucinda as a coach. She's ruthless and SO gentle at exactly the right moments.

[@Umi_Arisoficial]

Hey, do you know why she cried? I didn't understand😓🥺

[@ClemenceMisthearth]

@@Umi_Arisoficial she had an accident and didn’t want to hurt her horse again

[@WAMama84]

Meg. This sort of content is SO needed. We all have confidence issues. Fear. Hardly anyone shows the hard stuff, so it is so nice to see such a talented rider and horse struggle and work through it. Incredibly incredibly valuable content. Seriously.

[@user-kk6kl9tv9f]

yes 100% agree

[@billiemonroe8029]

I always feel like I’m the only rider that struggles with my nerves after a fall. Because I’m always surrounded by confident, accomplished riders. Thank you for posting this

[@chloecotton6787]

Oh meg, I'm sobbing, exactly how I feel after my accident, constantly imagining it happening again, it's so nice to share and know that we all feel the same, we are all routing for you! Proud of you for knowing when to take a minute and put your pony first 💗

[@elphick.event.ponies]

Thank you! Is a really awful feeling isn't it. Although I came out pretty unscathed from my fall, it's the constant what ifs which are getting me!

[@chloecotton6787]

@@elphick.event.ponies definitely, unfortunately I was not so lucky, however the love of the horse gets us through, I'm routing for you 🤗

[@PaigeL13501]

@@elphick.event.poniesi feel the exact same way about confidence. i had a bad fall in september 2022 with my new pony and i am still struggling to find confidence to canter crossrails. my pony can be naughty so its really hard especially since i am a timid rider but i 100% understand you and I know that we will both find our confidence 🩷

[@Cecrophia]

Crying is emotional release, it's good for you. I think it's great that you got to see Dee jumped, she looked absolutely amazing and like she was enjoying herself. This is the horse you've trained and she's got real talent. I see this and I see a great foundation to build your confidence on.

[@suzannechance5876]

Absolutely!

[@joanneday7518]

I agree very much

[@problemofevil_]

"You can't train bravery" this is going to be my life quote from now on cause I do recognize myself in you so much! No matter how much we love our horses, one thing going wrong can make us lose confidence, but eventually we'll get our confidence back with time and getting used to things not going wrong. I'm really glad you shared this with us, Meg ♥

[@agentk62]

I do appreicate you being raw, although I know how hard these vlogs are for you to make; being a rider who frequently struggled with confidence I feel a lot less alone when those who I look up to feel the same way. ❤

[@elphick.event.ponies]

Awh thank you, I hope you find yours again too! ❤

[@shadue5169]

Meg, we all cried with you. What a credit you are to your horses. Lucinda is absolutely right. You just need a little help right now, which everyone needs from time to time - no matter which stream of life. You haven't given up, that is why you are still on this journey and why you are with Lucinda - you have have stopped at a fence but you are progressing through and that is important. What courage you are showing. A lot of people would call it quits but you aren't, you are facing your fears and we are all rooting for you. Dee has a wonderful heart and is bursting with natural ability and class. And isnt Lucinda and Ellie wonderful. I always love the vlogs with Lucinda as she is so genuine, so passionate. You are so lucky to be surrounded by these people who care for you and support you - You'll get through this.

[@madlyneventing]

Meg. You are so brave for showing this. I think many Equestrians struggle with this. I feel like we are just under an assumption that in horses we have to be brave all the time and not let anyone see our weak spots... That's not how it should be at all. This video is so honest and authentic for me, I feel like its very real of how riding is. Not everything is always sunshine and rainbows. I for one can understand exactly where you're coming from. I applaud you big time! This video means a lot.

[@nicktempleton6943]

yes

[@nicktempleton6943]

do you have tips on lunging my pony turns around on the lunge line why

[@annejarvis7002]

Dear Meg, firstly thank you for your honesty & bravery. Your fall was brutal & clearly your concern isn't just for you, but mostly for your horse (typical of your loving care of your ponies). My trauma came from a car accident, but I had some falls from horses previously. Take the positives: you have got back in the saddle; you have successfully ridden not only your ponies but other people's horses. Furthermore, consider the complement from Lucinda when Ellie rode Dee - "Dee is such a credit to you & how you have produced her". I hope this experience with Lucinda, & all the emotions, form a positive start to your healing & the rebuilding of your confidence in yourself & your abilities & confidence in the awesome ponies you have so brilliantly produced. Never apologise for being truthful - there is no shame in that - entirely the opposite - it shows bravery, truthfulness & your awesome character. That's why you have such faithful followers & respect from us (& your sponsors). Much love, be well - it will get better - I know🤗x

[@suzannechance5876]

Well said.

[@emmysneyd1324]

Well done, you’re well on your way again. Stick with more of it 😊

[@HollyJordan15]

Ah Meg, seeing you cry broke my heart. We love you so much. Thank you for sharing this raw honest side to riding & you could have easily not shared it. This came to mind; breakdown before breakthrough. Please let us know how you are? ❤x

[@joanneday7518]

Lucinda had a lot of great things to say. She believes in you. This will get better. I'm so glad you will seek out help with a professional to move on from this as it's so hard to move forward after a fall like you had. Crying will do you the world of good and the relief you will feel afterwards will be worth it. We are all human and we do cry, thankyou for including this in your video. On another note, how good would a foal be between Dee and Marley. We all appreciate the ups and downs in your equestrian life, for me this makes it relateable to us as viewers. Thank you and *Hugs*

[@vickiehodges2341]

I so appreciate the honesty of this video, it takes real guts to share something like this.

[@janeminwell4395]

Much agree.

[@elphick.event.ponies]

Thank you ❤❤

[@Sparkydutch_21]

​@@elphick.event.ponies you are a amazing rider🥰

[@marissamaggard9813]

I really admire you for this. Don’t ever be afraid to show the real parts of riding. This is why I love your channel - because you’re never fake and you always show us the real you! I had an accident 2 1/2 years ago that still affects me now and sometimes I don’t even want to canter, so your bravery with continuing to jump is so inspiring!❤

[@slorugbug4164]

I wanted to thank you for posting this. It was such an authentic moment...that many of us have had from time to time. Riding can be scary...and it can be hard to get over a fall...especially from a horse fall. Take the time you need...it WILL come back.

[@ellenbell-mcmanus7433]

i love how honest lucinda is but shes also so lovely

[@sarahmooney1243]

You are a breath of fresh air! Raw emotion, honest vlogs showing the highs and lows, good and bad… this is exactly what should be influencing our next generation. Thank you ❤

[@AnnabelleTheDark]

This is such a huge part of our sport that not many dare to show. I cant tell how many edless cries ive had alone in my arena after things have been piling up emotionally. I dont wanna talk bad about other sports but we put our whole heart and soul in ours and our horses and you have been brave enough to show us all that and yes Meg, that is BRAVE! And relatable! Even tho I hate seeing you sad I feel less alone in my own struggles seeing you be honest about yours and this amazing communtiy being here for support.

[@yourstrulyjocelyn9706]

Honestly. This made me cry because I realized how much she is just like me. I feel alone at my barn because nobody shows these kinds of things but this video made me feel so much better about my struggles.

[@victoriakent6324]

Mental blocks and anxiety are a huge part of the equestrian sport that tends to be overlooked. We have all been there. Thank you for sharing!

[@stellangios]

Oh Meg. Post traumatic stress is so hard, no matter what it comes from ❤️ You're amazing to put this out there, because like Lucinda said it happens, and this will resonate with a lot of people. My own experiences were different but the tears are very familiar. And the thing is, no matter how much you might want to easily put traumatic events behind you, your body remembers. The moment you said you were wearing the dirty body protector from Bicton your whole breath and energy changed.... You dealt with it as well as anyone can, honestly. This is such a hard sport at any level and we all need to be *kind to ourselves* and look after each other. 💗💗💗 And remember that maybe you can't train bravery, but only those who have known fear can ever *be* brave

[@jmequestrian9916]

As someone who has experienced many bad falls and A LOT of confidence knocks, it’s so refreshing to see someone posting about it. It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable on social media. Falls can be so traumatic, and years later, I’ll sometimes catch myself getting nervous again. Proud of you for trying to work through it. ❤️

[@princesssofiyagm]

This took so much bravery. Not just to do this but also film it and put it out there for the world to see.

[@zarawilson4974]

Omg I’m just watching this again after watching the new DD stallion reveal, at around 19:50 Lucinda said “look at her legs, she’ll be amazing with Marley.” No one even knew that there was a spoiler! It’s so funny how it was so obvious but no one knew it. So exited for her little foal though!!!!!! xx

[@stefannyy7395]

Meggy you broke my heart ❤️ you’ll get back there with your super ponies, like Lucinda said they’re an absolute credit to you and are as good as they are because of you! Thank you for being so honest and not shying away from how a lot of us feel after a traumatic event. Live, laugh, love and support you ❤️

[@Scwibbles]

Thank you for showing this side of horse riding, sometimes it's so easy to watch people online and compare and think how do they never have any bad days... You are an incredible rider and I hope to one day be as good as you. As my instructor said once when I had a wobble that one day we'll look back and laugh. Live laugh love you Meg 🥰

[@jayreed7015]

It is hard when your confidence is rattled. You're very brave to show your whole lesson, the good bits and the less good bits. What an amazing instructor Lucinda is. So very knowledgeable and also compassionate and understanding. I'm sure she can help you get through this. And Ellie showed you how well you've trained Didi. She went really well. Keep going. Onwards and upwards they say. You can do it. ❤️

[@makennafranklyn6]

As someone who struggles with anxiety like this while riding without even hitting the ground like you did, I appreciate you sharing this! It makes me see that I’m not alone with my anxiety while riding!

[@rachelmoore6730]

Hope you're doing ok now, Meg! I was tearing up watching this! Like Lucinda said, Dee is an absolute credit to you! She's so capable and so are you! Don't forget that.

[@kylieashman1415]

Ah Meg. Broke my heart seeing you so upset, but you also needed to let that out, and it was a great time for you with Lucinda, Ellie, Tina and Pete all there to support you. We all lose confidence that's the reality of horses, so brave to share that side with us all. You are such a talented rider and as Lucinda pointed out you produced Dee and what a gorgeous ride she gave Ellie and credit to you for that. Be kind to yourself and you have got this. So many people who have been watching your journey over the years are routing for you. Lots of love and hugs coming your way from so many parts of the world ❤

[@saraahequestrian]

Thank you so much for showing your low moments! It’s so incredibly hard to do the normal when you get in your own head:( in a way it’s reassuring us more novice/low level riders that it can happen to absolutely anyone no matter how good they are and I’m so grateful that you’ve shown the ugly side to confidence knocks as it happens but no one shows it, you will get there, you are amazing remember that! ❤

[@kippen64]

This looks like one of those lessons where you keep on learning from the lesson long after it's over because it takes time to process everything that you did in the lesson.

[@gemmaross2066]

You are so inspiring honestly anyone would feel the same after Bicton. You have much more strength than you give yourself credit for.

[@emilymacneill2007]

I have mentally been exactly where you are in this video Meg.. it isn't easy at all. You are filled with talent but when the mind takes over it really is hard to push past it. But you will and you'll come back and out of this moment in time stronger than ever and use it as a strength xxx Big hugs!

[@Momandminiequestrian]

I came off this fall for the first time in 6 years and I gained a fear I've never had. It's been a real struggle to over come it. I'm no longer trusting my extremely trustworthy pony. Thank you for sharing and remind us that we aren't alone in our feelings.

[@rparr]

I have been feeling exactly the same way. After a fall off my horse where I was injured, I have hit a wall with my confidence that I have had a terrible time trying to overcome. I can get on other horses and feel fine but on him I can barely ride. It's incredibly frustrating. Thank you for showing us that you struggle like this too.

[@fionasmith9973]

I don't usually comment but that was really hard to watch for so many reasons, but am so glad you posted it. Loosing your confidence is a funny thing, people often say it so flippantly, but no one knows what it's like until it happens to them. Sleepless nights, over thinking, double checking everything, excuses finding, lieing to yourself! I used to vomit in a morning if i was supposed to be taking my horse on a walk and trot round the block! the sense of foreboding was suffocating. My logical brain said "It will be fine, youve done this a million times", every other parts of my body and soul said "dont do it! something awful will happen!! Worse than you can even imagine!!". I did get over it and I think I am a better rider for it, and a more sympathetic friend to people who loose their confidence. Keep going, keep trying different things, it doesn't feel like it now, but you will get there. Huge hugs xxx

[@emilyplatt8003]

Meg- I have so much respect for you. This is a massive moment for you, and it's an honour that you have shared it with us! You have no idea how much this will help you and how much it will help others. You are an incredible horsewoman. Huge, well done for opening up publicly and for sharing rock bottom- were all behind you, you've got this x

[@CheskiDee]

Confidence is such a fragile thing and the fact no one really talks about it makes it even worse when you lose it so thank you for this honesty. Everyone knows you and Dee will smash badders together so keep up with your amazing work and you’ll be there in no time ❤xx

[@bethhibbert453]

Aww Meg this broke my heart. We all know this feeling so well. I felt totally inadequate compared to my horse a few months ago. Just thought I couldn’t ride, he’s too much for me and I’m slowly building back confidence to jump again! You will get there ❤❤

[@mbconnemaras]

Honestly was so tearful watching this! It’s a feeling that if it’s happen to you, you know how hard it is. Not long ago this was me, in my scenario crying about cantering because of a scare. It’s so hard to get out of your own head!

[@Bigstareventing]

You are so brave Meg! Having a fall like you did is really scary but you will figure out how to put that aside. Thank you for being so open and showing others that it is ok to be afraid. I look up to you so much! Continue the great work!! You got this Meg!!!!❤❤❤

[@lrkenielsen8856]

I had a big confidence knock one time while riding as the horse I rode slipped with his hind leg in the canter and fell forward onto his front knees. It scared the life out of me and I didn’t canter a lot for a good month or so. This video is so empowering to people who have had these big confidence knocks to show that it’s okay to have setbacks in your career whether it be a hobby or professional. You’re doing amazing and you’re such an inspiration to many people! We love you Meg!🫶🏻❤️ Lucinda did such an amazing job to comfort you after you broke down. She is an amazing trainer🫶🏻

[@lynnemorris7516]

It's something you can work through and your confidence has been knocked, talking does help. One thing has come out of this is you now know that your beautiful pony can do it all. Don't forget, you trained and brought her on, so you can be very proud of that.

[@isabella0411]

As someone who is currently in the exact same situation with their own horse, I am so unbelievably grateful that you posted this video. Even though this is footage is raw and difficult for you to share, it has made me, and many other riders i'm sure, feel so much less alone. At times when confidence is lacking, to be together and share experiences can help us all hold each other up. You've absolutely got this Meg, we are all backing you and so proud of you, and by watching this video it has allowed me to start backing myself a little bit more too, so I can only say thank you ❤

[@sihnpax6220]

Thankyou for not only showing us the highs of this trip but the lows. We have all been there as riders Meg, you can do this!

[@Geeoorrggiiaa45]

Oh Meg I was crying with you. I think as equestrian’s we all have that fall that is always at the back of our heads that no matter how hard we try still stays there rent free. I let that fall stop me and I gave up , but I know you’re not going to give up. Look at the two wonderful ponies you’ve produced, the fact Ellie made Dee look incredible is because of you ! Give yourself some credit yeah, you’re so incredibly talented & knowledgeable and that absolutely reflects on your horses . Take some time , speak to someone about the mental side of things , but most importantly remember why as an equestrian we do it in the first place, to have fun ❤ you’ve got this❤

[@nataliep4349]

Wow, this is one of the most relatable videos I’ve ever seen. It would have been so nice to have videos like this back when I was more active with riding

[@jenniferhaas3874]

Oh, Meggy. My heart aches for you. You are so, so honest and brave to share these REAL moments with us. After a fall/accident it takes so long to build yourself back up. I’m so grateful Lucinda and Ellie are there to support you. You are in the right hands, and Dee is amazing.

[@lilly_eq]

Had me sobbing when Meg was doubting her riding and how she can’t ride when she is really good I know confidence blocks are really hard but you always end up better than ever and even with bicton Meg still made it to badminton with both ponies which is a great achievement. Meg you are a good rider, your my horsey idol!

[@Latarielle]

SO proud of you, I know how hard this is. I can't even canter my horse anymore because he's bucked me off a few times now and every time I try I get flashbacks of my fall.

[@_Side-eye_]

I love that Meg posted this because it shows that not everyday is a good day especially amazing such as herself. It also helps me and other equestrians that struggle with confidence know that we are not alone and that everyone has these confidence knocks all the time! Lots of respect goes out to you Meg !!!!

[@lizzyrbits1283]

Thank you Meg, it must have been really tough to edit this. But look how incredible Dee is! And you will get your confidence sorted and you will ride her to be that incredible! :)

[@kathleenellefson1956]

I think Meg is very brave. She has a hard job, while showing us all her ups and downs as well. It’s very refreshing to realize that we are all growing everyday and sometimes we struggle. Meg helps to make me feel I’m not alone in my own horse riding struggles!! Thank you Meg & the beautiful Hobbit. ❤❤

[@ChloeJoness21]

Aw I hope you are okay Meg! I love your channel! I hope all the ponies and horses are well xx

[@elphick.event.ponies]

Thank you ❤

[@loni-marije]

the part were meg said she was worried about hurting dee really touched me knowing there are still people who care about there horses this much. Also respect to meg, she is such a good rider and you can really see she also means what she says about her horse

[@ride_with_penelope]

Awh Meg, I feel you, we all do, I could feel the annoyance and frustration through my screen, I’m only 10 minutes in and I know it’s going to be alright. Thank you Meg for showing us the honest and authentic sides of this sport. Even though I may not have placed at Badminton Grassroots, and am only doing 70 ODEs, we still all have confidence knocks and highs, may 2023 be our year! My pony have been off work since the end of September due to a torn ligament in her hind left, but we are now coming back better than ever and and going to be doing 80s this season! ps. I remember meeting you at Badminton 2022 and I took a picture with you, and my dog (miniature Yorkshire terrier) was making you laugh! You also looked stunning in your red dress! Remember, its going to be alright x ❤

[@mariahlarson92]

My heart goes out to you. We all go back and forth with our confidence depending on accidents and injuries. ♥️

[@alicowls1605]

I knew this was going to be a tough one to watch. Your confidence took a massive hit at Bicton. We all have confidence in you to find it again, love how Lucinda and Tina were there for you and just supported you through this. It’s good to get this out of your system now, re-focus and get ready for Badminton on your girlies. You’ve got this x

[@nora.turner2573]

I can relate to the heartbreak so much. I had a terrible fall 2 years ago which resulted my horse dying on site and i still am finding it hard to trust myself and the striding into the jump. It will get better, no need to push yourself it’s okay.

[@chloesoutdoorlife6294]

I love that you were so honest in this video. It makes people who look up to you that are going through the same thing feel less alone. Thank you for posting this for us to watch.

[@maggiecamp5369]

💔 so proud of you for showing the hard and scary sides of being an equestrian. This video broke my heart for you, but you got back on and that's what we do as riders.

[@Katy.Lou.K]

I cried tears with you Meg. I’ve been in horses for 31 years this year. I’m 33. I applaud you for being so open and real in a world that isn’t so open to other’s journeys. I speak for myself and probably many others in the equestrian world, we see you, we have been where you are, and time heals all things. Your love for horses is why I love watching your career continue to evolve and grow. Your horses love and will take care with you. All the best to you girl. Cheers Love from very rainy California🏔️🌲🌧️💙

[@janl8683]

crying with you. So brave of you to put this video out but so, so useful to let people know that after a fall or even a near miss the 'what-ifs ' come to haunt us all. Good luck with exercising the demons. You have 2 wonderful ponies and you are such a good rider. Big hugs xxx

[@nicoleclarkson4007]

Good for you for knowing you weren’t in the proper headspace to give your pony the ride she needs and getting off. So many of us are taught to push through fear and we end up doing our horses a disservice. Dee got a wonderful school from Ellie and you got to see how well you’ve trained her! It takes a humble and wise person to get off for the good of their horse.

[@Adventures.of.a.gingernut]

Oh Meg you don’t know how much I needed to see this ❤ I’ve had 3 falls in the last 3 weeks and having a bit of a confidence crisis. Love knowing I’m not alone x

[@aprilwood2889]

I want you to know!!!! You are a amazing Woman, Horse rider, Friend and all of the above. You will get through this and ever Horse Rider has been through a bad riding accident. Believe me. It just takes time to build to confidence back up. I have been through it before and I have been riding horses for 30+years. I also have been watching your videos for years now and I just have to say you a amazing rider and I have faith in you that you will get through all this. You also are doing all the right step to be able to do so too. So I am sending all my love and support from the USA . You got this😊

[@sallyellis-gray8250]

Oh Meg, as someone who has vented up to intermediate but now finds 70cm daunting I really feel your pain. Please build up slowly and hopefully you will get your confidence back. I am in my 60s now and have one artificial knee and am waiting for another one so find jumping doubly hard. I so miss eventing but am concentrating on dressage now

[@elliegerber___]

I NEEDED TO SEE THIS I really genuinely appreciate this because I have been having a really hard time jumping recently because me and my lease horse have had a hard time with our communication recently and many of my lessons have ended in tears and I needed to see that it is normal and ok to feel this way as an equestrian.

[@poppymiller4203]

Oh Meg!! I really feel for you. Thank you for posting this. I had a fall around the same time as you did (it wasn’t a bad fall and both me and my pony were fine) while I was cross country training. I lost all my confidence and couldn’t even trot my pony round a field without panicking! It is always nice to know you are not alone in this world. Dee is so talented once you have your confidence nothing will stop you two! ❤️❤️

[@elizabethrees1965]

I can relate to how you are feeling exactly Meg. Following a fall where I was hurt I now cannot ride my beautiful new horse. I don't have the same fear riding other people's ponies. Fear is both logical and completely illogical! I find myself frustrated trying to explain how I feel to other horsey people who can't comprehend. I have just read all 400 comments on your video and know there are loads of others who understand completely! Thank you for your honesty in putting the issue of confidence failing after trauma out there. You have inspired others to be just as honest and I feel so much more hopeful that I can get back to enjoying my riding.💕

[@jennifermair1716]

Oh Meg! I know from experience how hard it is to untrain fear and the feeling that 'bad things are going to happen' and that it's all the more upsetting because of how much we love our ponies and how much we want to be out there enjoying them. As distressing as it feels at the time, hitting the low can be a good thing in the long run and be better than trying to muddle through without taking steps to actually address what's happened to cause the fear. It sounds like you and Lucinda are making a plan to do just that which is fantastic. Lucinda clearly believes in you, we all believe in you, so please try and believe in yourself again Meg! It wont be easy but it will be worth it xx

[@madamtrout919]

That was a powerful video. It was brave of you to share your vulnerability and I think you're right about the sport psychology route. Dee showed that she's a clever jumper who you can trust, now you've got to trust yourself. Hope you get through this and back to your love of eventing. ❤

[@kristinarunyeon9875]

I felt this so deeply. Thank you for being honest and posting this.

[@imadeadgoat8252]

This is the first video that I have ever seen where someone shows what it looks like to struggle with confidence and regaining that confidence and showing that comes with frustration

[@elizabethedwards917]

You will get through this. I've gone through anxieties and doubts with riding (on a much lower level) and with white water kayaking (sometimes we call it it cry-aking) . Don't focus too much on the bad days and keep looking ahead (just like when we jump). You have done so many amazing things, Be proud and give yourself a big hug. There's more wonderful things to come for you.

[@Katherinekirbydressage]

You are so brave for sharing such a vulnerable video, and it breaks my heart to watch you like this! Confidence is the absolute worst as it takes the longest time to build and yet, can come crashing down in an instant. You’ve got this xx

[@maressasigg]

Thank you Meg for showing the raw and honest side. I think almost every rider has been in your shoes. You are a true inspiration to so many. Please don’t talk down on yourself so much. You are strong, you can do it and you and your pony are capable. Maybe i cried a tear or two with you😢 sending you hugs! 🫶🏼

[@jasmijnkikkert5602]

Wow. I cried with you. Because of this, I’m actually selling my horse. I went through this a few times, but I’m done, I’m empty. Fell, regained confidence and fell again. I love riding other peoples horses, but it’s like my body and mind recognize the movement of my horse, and my heart starts racing. I had really experienced people help me, but its almost physiological. What helped me to regain confidence again was a lot of jumping. Small fences, one after the other. Hundreds of jumps. Rewiring you’re stress response to jumping. Once you get the rhythm, it’ll actually begin to be fun again. You’ll be all right one day. Thank you for uploading this. ❤

[@TheBridie93]

You're doing such an amazing job meg. Don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do. I had an awful fall xc about 7 years ago, foot caught in stirrup, ankle shattered. When i eventually recovered, I was so scared to ride that I was crying while being led at the walk. I felt like I could never enjoy horses again because I was so terrified. I took the pressure off myself and started from scratch, building confidence in tiny steps. It took a while but I now have a wonderful horse i trust, I'm riding better than I ever have and I learnt how to love riding again. Your fall at Bicton won't be forever, you will get past it. We are all here for you, you are doing an incredible job riding so many different horses and getting back in the saddle. Live, laugh love you queen, you've got this ❤❤❤

[@josefinaposada1382]

Meg you are so genuine. I feel like crying bc I feel your fear. I kinda gave up horses for a while and is just until last year that I started again and I promise you that it was a long process but is possible to rebuilt your confidence. Please do not give up. As Lucinda said you produced Dee and all of your amazing ponies, you just have to work on your confidence. Is not a linear process and you will eventually get there ❤

[@heathersullivan6269]

This is so honest and thank you for being brave enough to show this side of riding. I think it's something every equestrian has to deal with at some point. I had a nasty fall last year that landed me in the hospital for a few days and still dealing with the mental side of it. Hang in there--you're doing all the right things to get your head back in the game.

[@billycoughlan1791]

Oh sweetheart. Take the pressure off yourself. I’m a Mum here in tears wanting to give you a big hug and say forget competitions and sponsors. Find your love of ponies again and build yourself back at your own pace. You’ve had a proper trauma. We’ll all be here happily watching you muck out and have fun. ❤

[@dimac9085]

The fear is so so real after a big fall!. The reality of riding horses can be so terrifying. Glad someone with influence was comfortable enough to show it.

[@PotterheadCentral]

Im going through this right now meg with my pony... i know how hard it is i cant even trot him without crying at this point. please stay strong we can both get through this.... your helping me by even posting this.. showing thats these feelings are okay... thank you

[@elvertequine]

I honestly don’t know how to put all my feelings into words, especially ones that may be of any use at all. I am so grateful and honored you shared this very vulnerable moment with us. You are an amazing, strong and capable horsewoman, and person! As someone who has struggled with confidence and self doubt in my riding for the last 3 years, I feel moments like this all so often, and sometimes as equestrian’s we need to know we are not alone in this battle. I have learned so much from watching your videos, and have followed your and your ponies journey for around 2 years. And through that time I have seen some of your highs and lows. Once you get your confidence back, and I know you will(again because your a strong and amazing person), I cannot wait to see how high you take yourself and your ponies. Just make sure you bring your camera man along for when you touch those clouds! Lots of love from Wisconsin, USA! You got this Meg!

[@christinemartindale8715]

Aweeee Meg, I’m crying my eyes out it’s so upsetting seeing you girls like this. I hope you come out of it I’m sure Elle has helped just by watching her ride Dee she’s such a beautiful and confident jumper we’ve all just witnessed that. Lucinda will get you there plus you have a huge support system. I wish you all the best sweetheart Tina will look after you too she’s got a heart of gold. Get a good nights sleep 🛌 big hugs heading to way.🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🏇

[@AmyRhianosaurus]

Ohhh Meg!! ❤️ I think most people who have ridden long enough know exactly what you're experiencing. You want to do it so much and just get back to where you were, but it's like your mind and body are fighting against you and no matter how hard you try, you just cant ride the way you know you need to. It's so bloody hard. You really are doing amazing, you're a great rider and you will find your way back to where you were x

[@hannaa2375]

Thank you so much Meg for sharing this very vulnerable moment with us, i know so many feel the same way! I was bawling with you, god I know the feeling so well when youre just stuck and you cant push past it no matter how hard you try in that moment. Its ok to take a step back (just like you did!) and say I cant today❤ I lost my horse after she took a tumble in the field and the injury couldnt heal. I know how precious and fragile your other horses feel after that but theyre ok, even if it so so scary that something might happen to them too💔❤ I really hope you can find some help to move forward bc you cant fight all battles yourself❤ Asking for help is some of the strongest thing a person can do, we love you Meg!❤️

[@itslilyyt3704]

Awh Meg!! I’m sure everyone really appreciates you showing this side of riding, everyone experiences it even professionals! But I can promise you that once you get past this bump in the road your going to be going with flying colours! Everyone is so so proud of you, you got this

[@Theagingequestrian5335]

After a PTSD fall, I think we mourn that brave, fearless rider we used to be. There’s the grieving of that, the not understanding why that brave person is no longer in control of our mind/body and this other, more frightened person is in the driver’s seat. It’s disorienting. Plus the body’s natural physical reaction to the fear and stress is to send BP up, heart racing, sweating, and all of that - frightening in and of itself. It really does take time. You’re doing a beautiful job working through it, and sharing it with others so we can all feel more supported. You’re not alone. So many of us who watch you know exactly how you feel, and are rooting for you!❤

[@wendydavies9825]

Meg, don’t be so hard on yourself, as horse riders we all have blips, we get scared, we all cry. You can do this!! Lucinda was so lovely and very sympathetic with you. Just remember what Lucinda said, you have made DD the talented horse that she is. I am 60 and just hack now, but I still get worried about things. Sending you a BIG hug. 🥰xx

[@sophiaedgley3304]

aww meg. i genuinely cried watching this. you did amazing!!!!! Lucinda is such a good coach i could only dream. i could also only dream of you eq! your my biggest inspiration, wishing you the best for everything

[@alexphotography9069]

Honestly, I really appreciate your willingness to show his side of the sport because this is the reality for many riders. I myself have gone down the confidence slide so many time in my riding career. It took be a long time to build it back and I promise from the bottom of my heart that you'll get back to where you where, if not further because of this!

[@danhalliday8858]

I’ve been riding for 30 something years and still have shit days. Only Difference is you video it for everyone to see. I wouldn’t be brave enough for that!

[@JH-qi7fz]

This is so hard to watch. She is so strong, I know she'll recover. It's nice though to see an honest look at overcoming a rough patch.

[@Katietheequestrian]

It’s really great that your showing both sides. There are days where confidence is a hard thing to have. Your showing us as the viewers that it can be hard. Your only human. You don’t have to be strong all the time.