Bride Price: 'My husband can't afford me' | Newsbeat Documentaries

Are "Bride Price" weddings celebrating African identity - or scams which demean women? British grooms whose families originate from parts of Africa are paying money for their bride.
It’s known as “Bride Price” and has a long history - but campaigners now fear it’s being misused and exploited. Considered by many as only symbolic, Bride Price sometimes sees tens of thousands of pounds change hands. The cash is normally paid to the men in the Bride’s family… and campaigners want it stopped.
Geoff and Angela are both British, but like many couples of Ghanaian descent they have chosen to express their identities by having a traditional wedding.
That includes Geoff paying Angela's family a Bride Price as part of the marriage.
We see the preparations and rehearsals, hear about why a traditional wedding is important to both of them and their families, and witness their big day. Nyasha Michelle asks where we draw the line between upholding tradition, human rights, and an opportunity to make money.
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[@Kaizer177]

For the Chinese, we have the tea ceremony. Where the Bride and Groom serve tea to the elders of the extended family. In return the extended family member will give a red packet containing some cash. This is to ensure the newly wed have a good start in their journey as a married couple

[@nixalot9065]

Japan is similar and so is European tradition, but without as much ceremony and respect for elders. However, I thought that was more of a tradition in Eastern Metropolis China and Western Rural China dowries were the traditional way?

[@chukaonyimah2570]

@@jasonbrigman2025 Once again. Don't comment on things you don't understand.

[@stephanezick4658]

@ any tradition like this is shit , including the islamic one in my country iraq, it’s all absolute shit,extremely outdated and does more harm and little to no good.

[@adoncia7833]

@@jasonbrigman2025 You and your ancestors are stupid. Come correct when talking about the continent who is a provider for the whole world.

[@roberthadley4451]

I personally don't see how the bride price is going to make the marriage any better it's either going to work or it's not

[@ivangabriel8584]

true that ❤

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

It is selling women and it is no longer a token appreciation.£13000.00. I would rather pay that to buy a flat or mortgage so that me and my wife and kids will start and live a better life.

[@chika7086]

exactly what I said, better to invest or use it as a deposit for a mortgage or something. £13000 is madness tbh, thats exploitation

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

I can not afford what some people and their family want but I kwow i am a loving husband if I am given the chance. I do things that many husbands can not do.

[@angelicakweku5293]

So,do that!!!

[@fofofofo6182]

In my culture the bride price is giving back to the bride. Many end up using that money to Invest in their new family

[@WendyNation]

it was never a token of appreciation. it was always selling the daughter. whatever they want to say

[@eudo1898]

It will always be in the mind of the one that has to pay that they are the buyer. You cant buy love. Two years after she is seeking a divorce after paying $10,000.00. There is one lady that is in jail for scamming men with bride price where she owned one million dollars.. A gift from the heart secure the love and not that of a bride price. She will always be a mental slave.

[@crazziebunnie]

It's tricky when you put different cultures together when there are some similarities. I'm finding more Ghanaian couples that getting married outside of Ghana (myself included) are still doing the traditional bride price at a reasonable price, but the money is going straight back to the couple. It is terrible that some people are using this as a way to make a profit off of love and putting the couple in debt.

[@angelicakweku5293]

I am Igbo as well and I can tell you no one makes profit from bride price. The wine carrying ceremony is celebrated in the bride's family and hosted by her family. A lot of money goes into that!! Prior to this, each time the groom's family visit for any of the Igbo rites, usually done in the bride's family, they host it. Traditionally, there is a send off party for the bride and parents are expected to buy stuff for her for the send off party. These days, it is infused into the church wedding reception and the bride's family bring the send off gifts. Families spend more than the bride price on gifts for the bride. That's why upon divorce in Igboland, the groom only gets his bride price back, irrespective of all the expenses he did on the bride. Simply put,all sides spent money. Some parts of Igboland will take just 5 Naira as bride price but much more money goes into providing the list presented by the bride's family and kins.

[@kambooster]

I was wondering if when the couple divorce if the bride price is paid back but u answered the question

[@debrawestbrook8960]

Hopefully I don't sound ignorant, but in the simplest terms in which it was explained to me is that the bride price is paid by the groom to a bride's family because when she leaves to live with him and establish a life with him, her family is losing a valuable asset/component in their lives. She is important and of value to the family and they are suffering a great loss financially when she leaves. In this case it is honorable that the groom pay/present an equally or sufficient token of value in exchange for her.

[@shingitheduke]

What you say is accurate however, the idea that the bride’s family loses a valuable asset is disingenuous because it renders the daughter chattel property that has no freedom to freely start a family with someone of her choosing unless a price is paid. However in reality he doesn’t own his bride she is still free leave him the week after and there’s nothing he can do about. So then what is groom really paying for?

[@mrsleigh7806]

She is not an “asset”. She is a person. She can still fully be a member of her family of origin after she is married, and by that same token, her family of origin should not treat her like a beast of burden whose sole purpose is to work for them. Neither should the family she marries into.

[@WendyNation]

how 💀 it’s not like they’re collecting money from their child

[@marigoldbeam5475]

Brilliant and full understanding, well done! It is actually a very wise and egalitarian practice when one understands it properly. It shows great respect for women, unlike some cultures.

[@solomonKachi7000]

@@mrsleigh7806 but when the gov tells you guys to pay or collect alimony that is seen normally. you guys just find ways to hate culture your not used to

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

@Jeff and Angela:Please love each other unconditionally. Jeff my brother.Whenever you see another girl flirting with you, can you think of Angela.You are married and she loves you.Please do not f**k up.I know you might not afford her upkeep today,but God is great. Angela,your tongue is a bit sharp.Tomorrow Jeff will be able to afford you IF you do not undermine his capabilities.Please mould him into the man you want. How would you feel if and when he starts earning more than you and he undermines you in public? Angela,you have done 80% already.You loved him knowing he can not afford you.My Girl,you might as well mould Jeff into the man who can afford you.Please Remember that the remaining 20% is you.Angela sift your words before you speak and please respect your man.Only God and time will tell if Jeff will not afford you girl. I am your Zimbabwean Male Uncle and I hope you take my advice wherever you go.

[@mercytalu6052]

Wise words

[@cyndilane3823]

A man who loves you with all of his heart and purely, is worth more than all the money in the world. Live to be comfortable, not to chase the dollar.

[@user-bs5qr5ie4s]

I have met a African woman in UK she's beautiful and her bride price was symbolic

[@nixalot9065]

Ah, yes such a beautiful tradition. Gotta love it being institutionalized to being able to pay someone's parents a dowry for their 16 year old daughter you never met. Like you realize that is where this came from, and is still used for right? Daughters are property!

[@andrewukadike3433]

the disrespect... Amongst my people the bride price isn't to grant the person paying ownership, it's evidence that you can financially support your wife even at the most demanding and outrageous level. Try to act like you own your wife! You'd see the full force of a family, one likely with the resources necessary to mess you up financially for life!

[@sly6248]

Our beautiful African culture. As they say, every market has a mad person....that cannot be the reason we stop going to the market!!! Just because there are scammers and extremists we can't say we will do away with what makes for a wedding in Africa. It is supposed to be a beautiful day people should stop reading so many things in it. Even the men that recieve the money pay the same for their sons when they are taking wives. Personally i would be happy and proud for this to happen. It is beautiful....it is my culture.

[@marigoldbeam5475]

Well said. It doesn't escape me that all the anti-bride price people I have come across have been ugly women and poor men. If they don't like it they don't have to participate. Nobody is forcing them. An investigation into why they feel the need to try to destroy culture for everyone else should be the subject of another documentary. That Schiller woman with her human rights waffle should accept that cultural identity and integrity are also human rights. We don't all have to be deconstructed to fit western norms.

[@RDCFemmes]

It's the culture. You don't have to agree with it but you sure have to respect it. I date internationally, inter culturally and interracially if you don't respect my cultutre then I'm done.

[@imonlyababyintheeyesofgod4131]

all who see this message take it by heart {Jesus is against the Dowry it caused a lot of death if you say it's in the bible in the past they work for the one they love to show they're capable to take care of her they give cows goats and so on.... never $$$$$ now in are days it's not a gift it's a demand I would have married a Congolese although they wanted a dowry I loved her to death although I rather respect what God is for therefore I rejected the one I truly love imagine yourself asking JESUS ''How much should ask for our daughter to get married from this men '' what would you think Jesus would say .... be may guess cheer

[@minwade5436]

Beautiful cultural mix, wishing the lovely couple all the best for the future 🇬🇭🇬🇧. Best wishes from Adelaide; South Australia🇦🇺💐

[@ohemaabaakope3291]

It’s not a Scam!!! I believe u don’t understand the significance of this tradition, obviously a third generation Ghanaian in the Uk will almost have no respect for their Ghanaian traditional heritage, paying bride price is just a way to honor the bride and her family and also set up the newly weds to start life together. It’s really not by force if this is how u feel, u could have had some UK priest bless ur wedding in the church. I believe U guys were already living together for 2 yrs or more even like marriage couples so all this was not necessary to you. You didn’t need help or support to start life together.

[@jasonbrigman2025]

it is a scam

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

It is now a business for some people. £10000.00.Where do I get such money?

[@imthecreatorofmyrealitymyf700]

It's a scam. Started in the days when father think of their daughter as a asset.

[@josefinejohansson5526]

Black people in african clothes is really beautiful ! The guy in the white wedding "suit" looked stunning

[@sir.joshuarane.doebler3762]

Never been married... My girlfriend's pretty interesting though? She likes one of those suspense novels that you can't put down...

[@shakiyagotdreams8563]

Sweet 💕🥴

[@roberthadley4451]

I'm getting close to moving to moving to Sunyani Ghana and Mary a woman there I live in the US we've been talking for over 2 years but I still have to pay the bride price she did say that she's not a cheap woman I appreciate that, our marriage is going to work or it's not whether I pay buy price or not

[@user-bs5qr5ie4s]

Just pay the bride price so her family hands her over to you for marriage

[@busterc6600]

They'll charge you more because you're seen as an outsider bro.

[@rodericktaylor3001]

I think the best thing to say is nothing because I don't agree

[@AAA-we2st]

Your not being bought!! That’s not the point at all and it’s very misleading for it to be put across this way. The price is a payment to the parents to thank them for bringing the lady up for the gentleman to now marry her and when and if they do divorce it’s given back

[@jasonbrigman2025]

it's fucking dumb

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

My friend,so the man was not brought up?I really like those cultures where both families pay dowry to their children who are getting married. I advocate for the banning of bride price.

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

Do you want your husband to fight,for your dowry?

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

He loves you,but he knows people who are trained before he was trained. DOES IT MEAN HE IS WEAK????

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

Where I come, the person who has got money plays

[@cupcake-go6li]

I told my boyfriend I don't want to do the bride price And he said he's going to do it either way because he loves his culture Then I said my parents might not even go past 1000 my boyfriend said it has to be at least 2000 because they "value women so so much" I honestly don't like it But I'm American so I don't really understand it But I'm learning a lot about it from him and google lol (Igbo) 🤨🤨🤨🤨

[@jae-oh846]

If he can afford it then he doesn't really have a problem

[@najahshikamaru620]

Must be in naira

[@marigoldbeam5475]

If you fundamentally disagree with someone's culture or an important aspect of their culture you are probably a poor match. Further problems will probably present themselves as the marriage progresses. For example, how children should be raised etc. Reconsider and perhaps marry someone whom your values align more closely with.

[@natachadealvezofficial]

Nah, no dowry is happening for me , idc 🤣👋🏼

[@angelicakweku5293]

Well, the bride is changing her name and the groom is not. The bride leaves her ancestral home to take on the groom's kits and kin but the groom does not! A token is not a bad idea. The final ceremony is catered and financed by the bride's family. No one is sold!!! It is just a token. We can't all be Europeans. We love our unique culture!!!!

[@manofculture8666]

Not saying whether it's a bad thing or not. But a token usually doesn't have conditions. If you can't marry the woman UNLESS you pay the bride price, it's not a token. It's an exchange, money for the bride. That is what a sale is. Tokens are a gesture of good will you can make by your choice as a means to show gratitude; they're not meant to restrict you from anything. If you don't really have a choice, it's as much a sale as buying a new car.

[@ivangabriel8584]

even if the woman changed her surname to her husband's SHE IS STILL HER MOTHERS DAUGHTER😂it doesn't change anything

[@dookiepuddle]

Again, how is the man benefitting from his purchase? Changing a name ain’t worth 15k.

[@angelicakweku5293]

@@dookiepuddle It's a choice my dear!!! No one is forced to marry these women. Why not get a " free woman" from your culture? But wait!! How much is your engagement ring? African traditional marriages don't come with any.

[@kambooster]

@@dookiepuddle😂😂😂

[@kayceebabie16]

Good documentary 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[@shakiyagotdreams8563]

I think men should do this in America ijs . I don’t see nothing wrong with it. Other cultures do it allllll the time

[@shakiyagotdreams8563]

@Nightmare Neal 🤭🤭

[@yxnglucci4801]

@Nightmare Neal Not to mention the percentages of divorces compared to Africa.

[@WendyNation]

that’s the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard. bride price is misogynistic

[@DANIEL-fp2uq]

@@shakiyagotdreams8563 Lmao the other guy was right. What's the point of a bride price in America if it's supposed to be for a virgin? In America you're lucky if you find a girl with a body count of under TEN, let alone a virgin. 🤦🏾‍♂️😂

[@vicky4912]

@@DANIEL-fp2uq maybe cuz American men won’t even take a girl out on a date without expecting her to put out for him. In our culture men court us without expecting us to sleep with them and since we aren’t manipulated or shamed into having sex we are able to stay virgins. I live in America and I’m almost 21 and never had a boyfriend cuz I can’t find any guy here who is willing to have a relationship without $3x.

[@picolina74]

Lovely documentary

[@gloriasamuel5685]

Congratulations to you both। But the reality is no matter what you say, from the moment you accept those gifts he has bought you। Look at your end comment and review your husband facial expression। You say "he hasn't really bought you' his none verbal expression on his face says 'yes I have, and I got you real cheap'

[@aqbhawkins28]

I agree that a list of great treatment from the Groom to the Bride and also in reverse should be established

[@patriciarobinson5242]

Beautiful

[@thedarkside314]

Hired a "professional gift wrapper"? We like burning money? 😂

[@M0RN1N6_5T4R]

She’s worth another two pigs sounds crazy. 😂

[@havardviews1061]

"Geoffrey can not afford me" what does it mean?

[@calumbasilva868]

Yh it’s the same in Angola

[@nzamul1446]

With due respect...10k isn't bad. If you have lived in America/overseas you can pay it over a period of time.

[@shingitheduke]

10k for what though? What’s for sale?

[@nzamul1446]

@@shingitheduke bride price. in my village in my tribe its 12 cows. For an average person its alot but it is paid over a period of time. I choose to believe 10-15k isn't alot. It's just a suggestion you can choose to disagree

[@shingitheduke]

@@nzamul1446 so it is the bride who’s for sale then? What is it of value that she has that has to be paid for? What about the groom why isn’t there groom price?

[@shingitheduke]

@Nightmare Neal in other words it’s pussy for sale?

[@watchcynthiag391]

Paying in installments brings curses.

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

@Tolly T:Ownership of both you and Especially the Kids. Sub-culture is the right word for this greed my dear. Trust me,I consider myself a 1st generation Zimbabwean and everything you are saying in this documentary is true.There are books that can support your thinking.

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

There is something I would like to state here as well. Bride price falls under the African Traditional Religion. And White wedding and honeymoon falls under Christianity. In Africa and worldwide today Africans are practicing both religions.And they are not even seeing that they are practicing 2 religions. It is a sad truth.

[@Albanian_traveller]

And the reason why somebody shouldn't practice 2 religions is.... ? 🤓

[@July0791]

He was stating that they are unaware they’re practicing 2 religions 🤦🏽‍♀️ dum dum

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

@@Albanian_traveller I feel you want a fight of words dear. OK.let us talk about Christianity and African (ATR).Please don't start to swear. How would an African woman feel if the man was to marry 6 other women in the name of culture and religion? I know it is a wrong practice. I am giving it as an example because I want to teach people who don't know "Ok dear I will follow the African tradition and I shall pay lobola in full. My father has so many cattle. He even asked me to marry as many wives as I can." Most African women would not like the above clause. lele ,please, me and you are not going to fight over something that was posted on social media

[@kudzayimadondo9920]

@@July0791 Thank you for understanding me.

[@Albanian_traveller]

@@kudzayimadondo9920 no I actually want to say that it's okay to mix religions or have two of them. In Cuba most people are catholic and yoruba/santeria/ifa religion and it's beautiful to see 🥰

[@bassekaman8315]

what the rarse is this, you get married and you pay the bride family and give them gift? for what? nah thats backwards. how can you as a woman be equal to your husband if he has spent thousands of pounds to buy you off your parents and you aint given his family a dime. be serious

[@marigoldbeam5475]

Nobody is trying to marry you. Stick to your own people and values. Simple.

[@CricketMultan1]

Well if a woman dies? Will she be able to afford a coffin!

[@jeffreyrichardson]

three squads of sailors mahlerts pneumatic nailers postage paid mailers

[@EditCrafting]

women: Not a lot of men can afford me. Divorce Women after watching feminist documentaries: We are no man's property.

[@nicolaushess8816]

I hate these wigs.

[@adoncia7833]

Then gauge your eyes out

[@faithoni6520]

Same

[@faithoni6520]

@@adoncia7833 🤣🤣

[@tabbypanda82]

@@adoncia7833 right🤷🏾‍♀️

[@thesoulbrother8636]

This is an outdated custom and culture.

[@jeffreyrichardson]

$1,239.86

[@davwht9]

Can he do financing on credit? 100 years same cash with no interest charge??? 🤔❤️😇😍👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💖🎵💕⛺🎼👫💒💐🌏🙏🌸🌹🧑‍🤝‍🧑🏫

[@jeffreyrichardson]

chumlees mung bean sprout autistics persons own doubt warren buffets route

[@jeffreyrichardson]

timothy brechts fun william rogers juniors gun scottie pottie run

[@jeffreyrichardson]

jodys ju ju bees sharons two divorce decrees pleasant streets dead trees