🇬🇧BRIT Reacts To FIVE WAYS US & UK MEAL ETIQUETTE IS VERY DIFFERENT!

[@22kiki22]

I’m from ohio. My grandparents say grace but they’re pastors. I only know a handful of people that are really church driven that do it.

[@Karen-nx6wg]

I am from the south. And we always thank God for the food.

[@gotham61]

I can't believe he missed the one huge difference in cutlery use. Most Americans will first cut off several bites of food with the knife in their right hand, and the fork in the left. Then they will put down their knife, switch the fork over to the right hand, then eat the pieces they had cut, before switching back and repeating the process. This is very common.

[@MrsSeaHag]

That’s what I have always done.

[@laurahubbard6906]

I think you meant switching the fork over to the right.

[@Rabellaka.]

Yes. Switching hands for the fork during cutting is very common. My husband cuts with his left hand though, and I’m ambidextrous, so I sometimes forget to switch back to the fork in my right hand.

[@maryb1923]

Yes,so true and the reason it is done this different way in America is bc the colonialists wanted to distinguish themselves from the Europeans& viewed the way it is done in Europe seemed more crass,low class&vulgar bc it allowed a more rapid eating& shoveling into the mouth while Europeans often like to claim it us more efficient. The colonialists thought to distinguish themselves as uniquely American vs European,they switch the fork hand after cutting the food on the plate to demonstrate what they felt was a more classy,sophisticated & rich way bc they had the patience& richness,largesse of bounty& food in this new land/country to switch hands to wait to eat the food without having to immediately shovel into the mouth once cut. It gives a certain pride of place knowing this IMHO.

[@catwhisperer9489]

Yeah, that's me, Rebellaka---I'm ambidextrous, and I'll, often, just leave the fork in my left hand, since I'm gonna have to cut again, in a minute!

[@Sherralyn]

I grew up in East Anglia, was brought to the US as an 11 year old. It still irritates the crap out of me that people in the US can't seem to use a knife and fork properly. I'm almost 60.

[@chris...9497]

Servers/waitstaff: "Every 5 minutes" is an exaggeration. In any one meal, apart from delivering the courses, you'll get 1-2 offers to refill your drink and 1-2 inquiries concerning whether you're happy with your meal or need anything ("Are you doing ok? Can I get you anything?"). And it's not uncommon to flag down the server to ask for something or to request resolution to a problem with your meal.

[@MartinezJ916]

Agreed!

[@flyingsodwai1382]

I have had server training (in the USA). you show up immediately with water and take drink orders, show up with drink and take food orders. Deliver the food and walk away for 3-5 minutes and come back to make sure all is well. Then you leave the table alone to enjoy it's meal while consistently looking at the table to make sure no one there is trying to get your attention. ANyone that bugged me every 5 minutes would get a lesser tip for not knowing their craft.

[@juliefranco12]

As a server for over 30 years I always try and keep the tables clean. Also always bring salad and appetizers before meal and never bring food out at separate times. And just make sure everything is filled and clean.

[@sandrakim9]

Age is a factor too. I noticed the servers come by more often when I go out with parents than just a bunch of college aged kids probably since we can’t give as much of a tip and we wouldn’t order too many things probably. Once ordered just an appetizer platter and just filled up on the free bread because the bread at the place is so delicious and my friend didn’t have enough to pay their share so we had to go through all our change to cover the bill and tip. Probably getting $10 in coins wasn’t so fun for the server. So kinda makes sense that service wouldn’t need to check that often 😂

[@andrewthezeppo]

@@flyingsodwai1382 where I worked it was called "first bites" once they get the food you wait five minutes and come back to make sure everything is fine and nobody accidently got the wrong dish or if something was wrong with a dish like they said no onions and got onions.

[@Matacron]

FLORIDA MAN HERE. Regarding the forks, he's RIGHT about how we hold it with the tines UP, but we still utilize the forks based on what we're eating. If we're eating a piece of chicken, then we would still stab it, of course, but if we're eating mashed potatoes, then yes, we would scoop with the fork. So essentially, it's either stab and/or scoop. Sometimes we'll scoop a bit of loose food with the fork, and stab a more solid piece of food to keep the looser food from falling off the fork, as you suggested. If a type of food is so loose that it would fall off of a fork anyway, we go to this interesting device called a "spoon."

[@notashroom]

I lived most of my life in Georgia and now in North Carolina, (both well in the Bible belt) and in my experience, it's not unusual to see a family or two saying grace in restaurants, but the majority either don't do it in public or do it subtly enough that other diners don't know they're doing it. If you are asked to give grace when you're a guest at someone's home, I like my dad's standard, "Good bread, good meat, good God, let's eat." 😂

[@asiab7496]

Lol. I like this.

[@4everMrsB]

I love the grace your father says 😂😂👍

[@Th3Downz]

You've just saved me so much trouble. I'm always worried I'll get tossed the duty when at someone else's house and they're feeding me.

[@notashroom]

@@Th3Downz well, Dad would be happy for you to use his. ☺️ Just be sure your hosts have a sense of humor.

[@oliveinpeace9627]

Growing up this was our grace every evening. "Bless us our Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive thru thy bounty. Amen". I grew up Catholic and I haven't said that prayer in 50 years. I'm surprised I remembered it.

[@chris...9497]

Forks: In the US, the use of the fork is a complicated ballet. Yes, in casual eating the edge of the fork is often used to cut food. But there's more to it. We cut food with our right hand, using the fork in the left to pin the food down. Then we put down the knife & switch the fork to the right hand. Large foods (like cubed potato or meat slices/sausages or broccoli florets) are stabbed & transferred tines upward to the mouth. Smaller items (like peas or rice) are scooped tines up before transfer. Spaghetti is twisted around & among the tines usually set against the plate (or by some against the inner bowl of a spoon) before tines up transfer. Tines upward is a convention, but not intentional. Sometimes, after stabbing a bit of food, the times point down. Tines up and cutting with a knife is 'proper' formal etiquette, but casual dining alone or with family or friends (unless in a formal setting/event/venue) knives are less likely in play and tines may inconsistently point down.

[@meredithmcgraw8298]

So true, switching the hand that holds the fork after you cut!

[@kierstenridgway4634]

Well done!

[@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042]

Cutting the food with the fork isn’t really polite. While waiting to be seated,I have seen people never touch their knife, and cut the entire meal with the fork, sawing and sawing.

[@Thediydog]

Unless you’re left handed, then reverse that and try not to bump elbows with your neighbor.

[@jeanb.5405]

I was not taught that way. I hold the fork in the right hand, cut with the left, use the right to lift the food to mouth with the right hand so the forks always remains in the right hand.

[@UKFanatic82]

We never had sit down family meals except for special occasions. When we would gather for Christmas or Thanksgiving we'd stand and hold hands while someone prayed and gave thanks. We'd thank God for bringing us together as family, say thank you for all of our blessings and ask God to bless others. I was always taught to say a silent prayer before each meal, which I did till I got into my 20s. It's more common in some states. But I come from a non denominational Christian family so...very common here lol

[@damonbryan7232]

Best way to describe American utensil use is "anyway you can get it in your mouth works"🤣🤣 As far as tipping goes. The better the tipper. The better the service. Word gets around fast about whether you good or bad tipper.

[@AnnaMarie66]

I grew up saying Grace before every dinner & even bedtime Prayer where one or both of our parents would stand at our door to hear us say them🥰

[@Deato9000]

Here in NC saying grace before meals is quite common, both in your own home and out at restaurants. Though I do believe it's more common here in the South and in the Midwest verses the Northeast or the West Coast

[@bradnitzsche2436]

I agree...I am from southwest MO, and we always said grace at meals. Now in Kernersville NC, I see on occasion other families saying grace in restaurants, Warms my heart to see it...In both places, there are more churches than banks in most towns.

[@parataisocoveful]

Being from the West, it’s pretty common here also…..in the home or anywhere we’re about to eat at. I like to believe most if not all Christians do that.

[@lovejorita]

Untrue...I live on the west coast particularly in Southern California. My family has always said grace before meals. Generations down. We said it as thanks to God for blessing us with another meal. It was serious in my house. Now depending on the family member saying grace in some homes, it can get long and sometimes off-topic of the food. That times aren't fun, but you grin and bear it until they're done to eat with Amen. Heads bowed, eyes closed. I still say grace over my food till this day. 💜

[@sandragruhle6288]

That may be why it is called The Bible Belt.😇

[@alvincura]

I think it depends on the part of the West coast. There are a lot of Mexicans here, and many of them are Catholic. So there would be more grace before meals among them.

[@you_can_call_me_T]

Growing up we said grace at every meal, and we still do sometimes. Even when I go out to eat with friends, one of us will usually pray before we eat. It's typically just a prayer giving thanks for having food to eat and/or the company of the people you're sharing the meal with. Sometimes at a family gathering the prayer will include an expression of gratitude for the person/people who prepared the meal for you. And if you're eating out, you might even ask the Lord to remove any impurities that could cause you harm 🙂

[@ladylisaromance8129]

Here in the US, waiters/servers/waitresses only make about $2.13 (1.56 pounds) dollars per hour for their wage. Their money is made mainly from tips. That's why we tip a lot here for servers and bartenders.

[@irenegaruba48]

What part of the US is that? The servers are usually paid at least the minimum wage, no less. In California and New York for instance it’s 15 dollars an hour before tip. The minimum in Texas is seven dollars an hour at the very least. No state pays less than that that I know of!

[@ladylisaromance8129]

@@irenegaruba48 I'm in the East Tennessee but born in Florida. It's like that in both states. There may be higher end restaurants like Ruth Chris etc that pay more, but most restaurants pay $2.13 (or thereabouts) an hour. I've lived in Nevada and can't remember. I've lived in Georgia and it's the same, too.

[@irenegaruba48]

@@ladylisaromance8129 That’s unfortunate to know that happens in the United States. Unbelievable! I’ve lived in California for over 30 years . In the 90’s they made $5.00 an hour before tips. It’s gradually gone up since then. I thought the national minimum wage is $7.00 or so. California’s restaurants pays waiters no less than theirs minimum wage of $15.00 plus tips. I understand California is an expensive state but $2.13 an hour in any state is a tragedy for any American. Tips or not! Well, thanks for bringing it to my attention.

[@ladylisaromance8129]

@@irenegaruba48 it's like that on the East Coast. Some nicer restaurants may pay more but most still pay $2.13 and depend on gratuity/tips. Bartenders sometimes make more per hour depending on the place. I was a bartender when I was younger and it's brutal work. I might make $200-300 on a weekend night but I would be mentally and physically exhausted, lol. Then I'd get a $40 payroll check...

[@kennethjenkins3972]

Depends on the food, but I was taught you put the fork in the left hand cut with the knife in the right hand, set the knife down and take the fork in the right hand and pick up the meat tines down but put in your mouth tines up.

[@LarryHatch]

"Anything that falls off a fork or cannot be stabbed...calls for a spoon" is how I was taught.

[@kokomo9764]

I was taught to never use a spoon for that purpose. That is , as my etiquette tutor described, as the hillbilly way. One must learn to properly handle a fork. It must always remain parallel to the table. If you master that things will not fall off your fork.

[@breautyandgoodness4118]

You can use a knife to help iton the fork or use a spoon. It really varies on your upbringing. I guess I was raised in a barn.

[@amyk4413]

@@kokomo9764 I am hillbilly?? Who knew, not me.

[@jerryadams6799]

i prefer: "anything that can be ate with a spoon should be ate with a spoon." with the caveat that i prefer the smaller portions that a teaspoon enables compared to a table spoon. i am not shoveling something. i am eating and sometimes socializing.

[@mollyb8943]

We don't only scoop, we poke the food with the tines as well, but we do still hold it facing up when we do

[@KevinSigman]

In my experience, as an American (and bearing in mind how enormous the U.S. is and how different it might be region-to-region), grace is usually more commonly said during a holiday meal like Thanksgiving or Christmas if you were not brought up in terribly religious environment (as I was). It definitely was not something we did at home on a day-to-day basis. And usually this is to accommodate more religious family members or attendees.

[@barbaratatton3855]

Born n raised... I'm enjoying these clips very much this morning. I'm rethinking, reconsidering and recalling so much of the things we just "do" - and eat and customs and expected norms. Wow. Thanks for fresh eyes on the culture 🤔😊

[@euchongo4240]

I'm an American. I eat exactly the way he describes. I live in Europe now and I'm a constant embarrassment to my Portuguese wife.

[@poeticjustice4552]

Why should you be embarrassed? What dictates theirs being the proper way? What I'm getting at, don't be embarrassed, their judgemental and your culture should be embraced...even the finer details

[@euchongo4240]

Feel free to explain that to her lol

[@poeticjustice4552]

@@euchongo4240 I'd love to, but I wouldn't be friendly about it. Every culture is different. We scoop..Indian eats with hands, etc... None should be embarrassed. It's part of your culture and you shouldn't be made to feel like your way isn't the proper way.... They aren't better or less

[@euchongo4240]

Hahaha. Damn that would be cool.

[@steeldridge3500]

I'm a proud patriot of the USA 🇺🇸. Yes we do grace before eating is that we are thankful for our food our Lord God Jesus Christ has provided 🙏🙏

[@nilawarriorprincess]

If you take an etiquette class you learn to never scoop your food with a fork, but sadly many people don't value having good manners. It really depends on who you're dining with. My family values proper etiquette & good manners, but of course not everyone has the same 'home training'. I would couldn't imagine eating without saying grace; but I'm a Christian. We believe that everything comes from God especially food. So it's important to thank Him for what He's given us. Not saying grace is as akin to not thanking a person who has given you something or the cook for her efforts.

[@andrewthezeppo]

how do you eat mashed potatoes or rice with your fork that way?

[@aprilr9346]

You may have excellent table etiquette but your social etiquette may be questionable. A "Christian" would not be so judgemental.

[@nilawarriorprincess]

@@aprilr9346 I sincerely apologize for sounding judgemental. No, being social has never been my strength. I'm alone & sick in bed most of the time so I rarely talk to other people. I thought I was just matter-o-factly explaining my personal experiences. I never even considered that I would offend anyone. Would it be better if I remove the comment? I'm so sorry, I can't imagine being anything worse than a judgemental Christian. Please help me understand why talking about my personal experiences & my personal values is judgemental. Why would anyone assume my personal life means anything to anyone but me?

[@nilawarriorprincess]

@@andrewthezeppo I usually eat those with a spoon.

[@andrewthezeppo]

@@nilawarriorprincess I took etiquette classes as part of a leadership scholarship. We learned all the different forks, how to only butter one bite of bread or cut one piece of meat at a time, I had to stand when a lady came into the room or left the table. We were never told to use our forks upside down. Maybe that is preferred where you are from but not doing it does not mean somebody has bad manners and was not taught etiquette.

[@yaoiboilover]

Tipping is very appreciated in America! The federal minimum wage for Wait staff is $2.13 an hour

[@msdarby515]

Grace every supper, holding hands around the table. It's the only meal we eat at the same time. Good way to bring everyone together, say thank you for the blessings of the day, like passing the math test, or someone's safe travel, or remembering a sick friend/relative.

[@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042]

All I am able to think about when forced into the hand-holding is “ when will this stop?” Holding someone’s germy hand grosses me out, sorry. It doesn’t bring me closer.

[@msdarby515]

@@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042 Well, keep your gross hands to yourself then. You don't seem like a person that wants to be closer to anyone......or a person that washes their hands before supper. Me and my family, we do.

[@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042]

Moron. The point is I have been forced to hold hands with the great unwashed. My hands were clean, genius.

[@msdarby515]

@@lynnebattaglia-triggs1042 as I said, your absence would be a gift. Thank you! 😊

[@AlexHernandez-yb9rx]

We didn’t do Grace much growing up, except for special occasions like Thanksgiving or Christmas. But now, my mom and aunts and other family members do pray 🙏🏽 grace before meals. We try to keep traditions of praying together as a family for meals.

[@brittneyfreeman5765]

What? Really No Grace??? Ever? Weird! I live in the “Bible Belt” we say grace pretty much every meal. It’s thanking God for the blessings. We always circle up and hold hands! That minute of silence before games used to be christian prayer. Also- usually the head of the house you are in, or the head of family will pray.

[@susandevinenapoli7649]

Me too, in the bible belt grace before a meal happens in restaurants too, sometimes aloud, sometimes quietly as a pause with head bowed.

[@Miesque1973]

I'd say saying grace before a meal is a Southern/Bible Belt thing. Generally. At restaurants, when you see people saying grace at the next table, you almost instinctively lower your voice or just shut your yap until they're done, to be respectful. (See the Norman Rockwell painting of such). Table chatter is common, rather than just the sound of rhythmic chewing. Restaurant noise IS loud, and we've often wondered if carpeting would help with that, but loud is loud. Because of the loud, everyone has to be loud to be heard, and so it gets louder. Sometimes waiters will play the game of waiting to ask how you're meal is going when your mouth is full. I suspect they find that rather fun.

[@trudyshaw5615]

After being a server for upwards of 30 years I feel I am good person to add to the discussion. Usually, a tip is 10% of the bill and if the service is prompt, courteous, knowledgeable and polite you can add to that. Here in the states, servers are not paid a livable wage as the tips are considered part of the wage. Example; a server gets paid $2.63 per hour instead of $5.00 with the thinking the tips will make up the difference. Also in same places a server adds up the total of all the tickets he/she has written takes 10% and has to declare that for tax purposes. Being a server is a lot more than just " slinging" food. As for table chatter, Usually with both parents working and the children with a lot of extracurricular activities the dinner table is sometimes the only place that the family is in one place to go over what has happened during the day. It is an excellent way for parents to stay on top of what is going on and the children get a greater sense of belonging because they are part of the discussion. When my 5 brothers and I went to a restaurant we were taught to use our inside voice and to use our good table manners. At 73 I know times have changed but it does make me feel happy when my children then grandchildren and greatgrandsons are complimented on good manners.

[@shawndadondoe1242]

Yes most of us pray over our food!!!

[@josephmorneau4339]

You don't scoop dense foods that needs to be cut typically such as steak or broccoli. However mashed potatoes or corn or peas will typically just be scooped with the fork. Do you guys spear each kernel of corn or every pea with the tines of your forks?

[@williamlucas4656]

It’s a real laugh to watch Europeans try to eat peas with an upside down fork or attack them in a stabbing motion.

[@kabirconsiders]

😂😂 We mash peas and then scoop them up or use something else on the plate to smear it on

[@kokomo9764]

I have observed that Europeans tend to mix the peas with something else like mashed potatoes. I don't know why anyone would eat peas anyway. Yuck.

[@kokomo9764]

@@williamlucas4656 It is equally hilarious watching them eat crispy hashbrowns with an upside down fork. I watched an Irish KZbinr visiting America at a Denny's trying to do that. Obviously it didn't work. That was right after she had said American manners were disgusting. That was when I canceled my Patreon account and stopped following the bitch.

[@josephmorneau4339]

@@kokomo9764 I watch videos from the creator you are referring to. I've never heard her make those comments about manners and I've really never seen anything from her that would make me describe her as anything but a sweet, good natured girl.

[@kzintilord6145]

Our grace was always the same "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition"

[@jeffburdick869]

8:30 I'd say its pretty common, especially with older generations. When I was a kid we would "give thanks" before every dinner. And my parents still do it when we visit them. My in-laws do it as well when we visit them. Dinner also used to be more formal where everyone would sit at the dinner table at a specific time. Today, my wife and I eat when we feel like it and eat on the couch as we watch TV.

[@chuckschulze6877]

I agree that it was more common than it is today. We aren't as much a churched society as we used to be though in general.

[@andrew348]

No one actually does that anymore except the more conservative families.

[@Commietaku]

Our family would just do it at Thanksgiving (similar to how people only show up at church for Christmas and Easter)

[@vodriscoll]

To cut food, I keep the fork in my left hand and knife in my right. Then after cutting, I switch hands to eat with my right and with tines up.

[@laurataylor8717]

The level of grace said at meals I think depends partly on a person's religious persuasion. I grew up in a family that has a set prayer to say at dinner only. On a special occasion there might be a few extra words of thanks said. We almost never would say grace in public. Now I only say grace when I'm with my parents at dinnertime. Some people of different religions may select someone to say a free form prayer. When I was in college there was a religious group that was visiting our campus and they said grace as a group every time they ate. To me that seems a bit much.

[@kabirconsiders]

Interesting, based on the comments it seems that Grace isn’t as widely said as I thought

[@Ashley-jp4nn]

@@kabirconsiders my family is very religious so we do a short impromptu prayer (usually the oldest male bc of patriarchy) every time we eat. I think that sort of ritual is in decline on the whole in the US.

[@andrew348]

Many Americans don't even sit at the dinner table and eat all at once anymore, much less say Grace while holding hands

[@miamianz]

in my family grace we ussually use it for thanks giving or family gatherings be it someone visiting from out the of states or new years thanks giving but its not an everynight thing. more of a blessing to those who have come to visit and yes there also alot of other folks that do it everynight.

[@MoonlitShoreWalk]

I would guess that because many of the first British settlers in America were devout Christians and came for religious freedom, their descendants continued the tradition whether they were particularly religious or not. I am a Christian, and my family (including husband, children, parents, and in-laws) always "says grace" (prays) before every meal. We want to pause and thank God for always providing for us before we dig in. 😊🙏🏻🤤🍗

[@yes2day100]

Prayers at meals was a big thing when I was growing up in the '50s and '60s. But my family only ever did it at special meals, like Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas. It has become less and less common as the decades go by, however. Also, it is regional. In the south and the mid-west I think it is much more common. In parts of the southwest, and on the coasts, which have become increasingly secular, it is less common.

[@PenelopeFrank]

As an American raised by Middle Eastern parents, we were taught to use our utensils the way Europeans do, when using fork and knife. Fork in left hand. But if eating without a knife, I use right hand with prongs up, as Lawrence noted.

[@maryreynolds5723]

My Husband and I say Grace before ever meal, even when we go out to eat. Of course we hold hands, bow our heads and say silent prayers in public. We release grip on each other’s hands when both have loosened grip, we begin to eat. Oh yes, we always tell each other before Grace. I believe it’s more usual in the south.

[@romemedina4712]

We say grace every time before we eat at my mothers house. Hispanic culture over here in my area of Arizona. Also, birthdays can make places much louder with celebrations. Texas roadhouse always brings out a bull riding machine to ride while they sing happy birthday. Can't remember the place but they even call out for people to be quiet for the delivery of a cake while they sing happy birthday.

[@conspiracytheoryy7862]

White guy from Tennessee here lol, but every meal eaten at my grandmas house has the blessing said before it, very religious here in the soutg

[@debbieabrahamsen7458]

I can only speak for my family. But for every meal, we hold hands and say grace. Always have and always will.

[@jamesbutler174]

We always say grace at Holiday meals but it depends on the family, just like some hold hands and others don't. Growing up I'd sometimes end up at a friends house down the street on Sundays and they always said grace, even for lunch. Family in New Mexico give thanks every time they eat. I guess it's just ingrained as part of our culture. It reminds us to be thankful for what we have, as many people are not as fortunate for something as simple as a meal. I even still say prayers every night and every morning when I wake up.

[@andrew348]

Naw most of America doesn't say grace. Why would you if you are about to glutenously scarf down a Whopper?

[@What_the_son_of_a]

At the dinner table is where my family connected so no phones allowed and everybody would talk about their day. My mom was told that families that sit down for dinner every night will reduce drug addictions in your children by 60%. It must have worked because I don’t do drugs or drink and neither do my siblings

[@ssgtrippy9555]

The fork with the tines up is easier for it to stay on the fork

[@crystalrose7921]

We never said grace, but in the restaurants, we are the loud group because we are enjoying everyones company, laughing and joking. And the bigger the party of eaters, the louder we are laughing to the end of the table to everyone!! So much fun.

[@krisd2071]

Grace is definitely a family by family thing. Sometimes, generational. My family, as in my parents & I, wouldn't say it before meals- but we would at family gatherings. When I stayed with my grandmother, it was known that you prayed before every meal. Most of the time she would let me say a short child's prayer & that would be it. I often got in trouble though for trying to say it too fast. Lol "God is great, God is good. Let us thank Him for our food, by His hand we are fed. Thank you Lord for our daily bread, Amen." It was very sing songy. Lol But prayers before a meal definitely isn't a thing I do now, except for holidays.

[@carriemacleod2241]

Growing up Catholic we said grace every meal, every day. Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty. Through Christ our Lord. Amen. There are several versions and some people even say a post meal grace.

[@AngelA-qi1br]

Had English pen pals visit me in New Jersey and during meals I was shocked to see how they used the knife to push food on the back/rounded side of the fork, whereas, as Laurence said, we hold the fork the other way and scoop food. But we do us the tines to poke into dense food like meat. Not every mouthful is scooped.

[@michaelrue1400]

Yes, it would be a completely different story if you were eating a steak for example than, say, spaghetti.

[@marycoppola4914]

Grace is just a way for us to be grateful n thankful for the food n ppl we have in our lives. It’s usually less than maybe 30 seconds.

[@belinda9696]

You go into a southern restaurant in the US like Cracker Barrel it's loud with chatter because we southerners tend to be louder than the northerners, with exception of New York or New Jersey, etc. which have very loud people.

[@HJKelley47]

@@adriennegalaxy8980 : I moved from NY to Tenn, and I have not always found them nicer or friendlier. What I have seen is an expression of friendliness, which turns out not to be genuine. I have seen and experienced quite a bit of that. I've also experienced the fact that I'm from NY they have issues with. Many of those in the city where I live do not like Northerners, even before they get to know you. It takes a long time to be considered as "part" of the community. Now if you are a physician or lawyer, you may be more readily accepted, but if you are not monied or in these professions, it will take you quite a long time to be counted as one of them. I do find that millennials do not have the same issues with accepting people from other places than those 40-50 and older. When I mention that I am from NY to anyone 20-35 they tend to ask me questions about NY, or either tell me that it is one place they want to visit. In some way things are relative to the person, the age, the race and the situation on Southern friendliness. Even the Senior Center in this community has some racist members who prefer their black members to "know their place."

[@anndeecosita3586]

@@HJKelley47 My family is Southern but I didn’t live in the South until I was a teen. I am accepted because of my Southern heritage and because I lived on the West Coast not the North. I will admit a lot of Southerners don’t like Yankees and some of that has to do with a lot of negative experiences with them being rude and abrasive. Most Northern people I’ve met are more blunt than Southerners. My friend and I went to NYC on a trip. A man asked us where we were from and when we said our state, he said “oh and you’re wearing shoes.” I also knew some transplants from Syracuse who were like this. 😡 Yankees have a rep for trying to act like Southerners are backwards and stupid and they are better than us. Fortunately most NYers we met were nicer to us. On the flip side, I can admit my Southern family is very cliquish even towards other Southerners. My family has lived on our own land in the same small rural community for hundreds of years. A lot of times Southern people will ask people who they are kin to because your last name makes a difference. My family doesn’t like certain families and I wasn’t allowed to date guys from them., But It’s not always that we dislike other people or are rude to them but we don’t consider them “one of us” either. We can be nice but don’t treat them exactly the same as our people. That’s not the same as being rude IMO. I have relatives from Nigeria who are Beni, I’m not be upset they didn’t consider me one of them because I’m not. I know Yankees who’ve lived in the South 30 years and are still considered an outsider. But some parts of New England are like that too. I had a friend move to CT and experienced the same thing. I think it’s weird foreigners tend to call ALL US people as Yanks/Yankees because that’s definitely not true.

[@HJKelley47]

@@anndeecosita3586 : I remember being called a "Yank" when attending some of the churches in this community. When I first heard the term "Yankee", I thought they were referring to the NY Yankees. When I said "I'm not into sports", I got a side eye. (LOL) It took me a minute to understand that they were referring to me being from the Northeast US. I have an acquaintance here, and she and her husband have been here 28 yrs, and they are still considered outsiders. WOW!

[@apenguingames4305]

@@HJKelley47 Maine has some of the most secluded people IMO we moved there in 2009 and most families there have been there forever, just like Texans I’d say the Texans are nicer haha

[@HJKelley47]

@@apenguingames4305 : Apart from driving through Maine, never spent any time there. I did spend time in New Hampshire. Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire are beautiful states in the summer and fall, but some very serious weather in the winter. You've got to be a snow bunny to really appreciate the upper NE coast. I made sure to eat only seafood when I visited there. My time in New Hampshire was on business trips many years ago to a company called New Hampshire Ball Bearing. Stayed at a very old inn, in a room where a historical figure stayed. Had to go to New Hampshire one winter, and the snow drifts were 2/3 rds of the way up a telephone pole. I had never seen quite that much snow, and NYers are used to snow. I did thoroughly enjoy Texas--the Texas size steak and their most delicious BBQ. I just found the summer months a bit tooooo hot and humid--suffering from 100+ degree temps in the shade. New Hampshire's winters are seriously cold and long. Texas summers too hot and long. I do miss snow here in Tenn. Last year I prayed for the Lord to bless me with 5-6" of snow, and one day we got just that. I put on my NY snow boots, long johns and winter coat-hat-glove and went outside to play in the snow. It is so interesting how the many regions of the US develop such different cultural behaviors. There are times I have felt I was visiting another country with so much behavioral diversity. The only commonality I observed when traveling wasbasically the

[@Str8Homah]

Saying grace was a thing in my family when I was young. As I grew older, it was mainly for special occasion/holiday meals. Me not being religious personally though. Thanksgiving kind of morphed from saying grace, to everyone saying something they are thankful for before the meal. Have eaten at other peoples homes where they said grace. Have also been elected to say grace before. Being not a religious person, but knowing the basic premise of giving thanks for a meal, I'd respectfully say grace the best I can.

[@suzannelaforce6988]

Kabir: You might find this very interesting... We're all American here. BUT, my relatives are REALLY AMERICAN. I mean, they were watching from behind trees when European immigrants came to the shores in their ships, hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Yes, they're Native Americans. They sometimes do big feasts in the Summer where they cook not only a whole pig, barbequed in half a steel drum, but also unusual game meats, --- like ground hog, squirrel, possum, deer and rabbits. They make a flat bread called "Fry Bread," which is delicious.

[@lewisgrace7777]

After my grandfather died, my grandmother remarried an Englishman from Kent. He was awesome and we loved him very much until his death. I remember so many "English" things he did, like us orange marmelade on toast which he stood in some kind of rack. But the way he use a fork and knife was some kind of magic trick to us!

[@kabirconsiders]

Oh man, orange marmalade is my absolute favourite thing to spread on toast. Marmalade on one slice, butter on the other slice 🤤

[@SoSoKayla]

Here's the thing with tipping. You don't _have_ to tip, like you could technically get away with not doing it. BUT. It is customary and expected, sort of like an honor code thing. And if you don't tip, your server will definitely be extremely unhappy and probably let the rest of the staff know to look out for you as "one of those." So if you come back to that same restaurant, don't expect to get good service again. It is a dumb system and it would be better if the employers actually paid their workers but hey, that's America for you and it isn't likely to change anytime soon. You're not going to hurt the stingy employer or force them bear responsibility by not tipping your waiter/bartender out of principle. So just do it anyway out of kindness and respect.

[@kele.w]

If the server is rude or gives bad service, that's a valid reason to tip less. I've only not tipped at all twice in my life and it was because server was so unbelievably rude that we called for a manager to complain. Do remember that some things aren't in your server's control ( for example, if the kitchen takes forever to make your food) so be thoughtful before you decide to tip below the standard. Right or wrong, waitstaff in the US absolutely rely on tips to earn enough to live on, so it shouldn't really be treated as an optional part of the cost unless something is really problematic.

[@SoSoKayla]

@@kele.w That's a fair point. I'm glad you mentioned being thoughtful about it, too. I work in customer service (though not for tips) and I can tell you from experience that some people are so nasty and put you so on edge that it is incredibly hard to shift gears back afterward like nothing happened. For waitstaff especially, they often don't have the luxury of taking a breather to collect themselves. Sure, it's "part of the job" and all that but there are times someone is legit in the middle of going through some other shit at the moment and doesn't mean to let it impact their service but it still can sometimes. We're all human.

[@c3mi979]

As a kid we said grace as a family at every dinner (but never breakfast or lunch). It was almost always us kids that said the same prayer every time. If it was Thanksgiving and there were several relatives, an adult would say grace and it would be an on-the-spot prayer. As an adult with my own family we don't say grace before any meals, even at holiday dinners. As far as silverware etiquette, when cutting something, I have the fork in my left hand and knife in the right. I'm right handed so it makes sense to have the knife in your dominate hand to do the work. Then I either keep the fork in my left hand and take a bite or I'll put the knife down and transfer the fork to my right hand.

[@brandonaston2261]

For meat pieces that I just cut up with a knife I stab it but the fork is always facing up. For loose things like peas or corn I scoop. I’m not sure why someone would turn the fork upsidedown at any time. Also I’m right handed so I hold knife in my right hand and the fork in left because using a knife to cut food is hard to do with your non prominent hand.

[@nickinportland]

I’m American and was always taught to use the fork in the left hand and never switch. That’s a European thing apparently. Never heard of the tines of the fork always facing down. That’s a new one.

[@sherryarflin726]

We (my family) always says grace before each meal. That includes eating out anywhere and yes we do hold hands. It’s the way I was raised to give thanks for the meal. There a lot of people who don’t though, at least in public. I think most people use the fork both ways. It depends on where you’re eating out with how loud the crowd is. Most of us go out to eat and socialize with our friends and family. Most people tend to be respectful of the people around them. I really love to get a friendly waitress or waiter who’ll talk and cut up with us. Wait staff earn every dime they make which is why they should be tipped good plus their salaries really are bad. They live on tips mostly.

[@hudsonja]

13:25 the fittest I ever was was just after I graduated from college/university and was still serving. I was moving around constantly for 6-10 hours per shift, but also had little time to snack or eat junk and ate what kept me going and didn't make me feel bad. And because I was mostly night shifts, I did athletic stuff during the daytime. I was 140lbs when I started my first office job after schooling and have gained almost 10 lbs per year on average but most in the lastvtwo years because I'm confined to my house/home office and have way more work to do than I can do in 10 hours per day of sitting.

[@katherinetepper-marsden38]

I'm a Jewish American but we are not super religious so we never said a prayer unless at synagogue or for specific holidays. It's pretty much 3 to 4 times a year.

[@theproceedings4050]

Usually when you use your knife youre supposed to change hands with the fork and use your dominant hand for the knife, then when you have finished cutting switch the fork back to your dominant hand in the upwards fashion before putting anything in your mouth.

[@LarryHatch]

In some homes in the US, it's traditional to have a guest give the prayer of blessing or "grace" before a meal. Some guests are not well prepared and caught very much off guard! I've some really bungled, awkward prayers. I suspect in some cases it's a bit of an exam to see if Missy's new beau is a Christian man or not. I always laid it on thick "Lord, we thank thee for the wonderful blessing of our company today in this fine home...the bounty prepared for us...and fellowship among us....and we do all in the holy name of your blessed son, Our Lord Jesus Christ...Amen".

[@andrew348]

Only conservatives do this. 85% of the country would roll there eyes at the silly ritual

[@pc2555]

​@@andrew348 85% of the country!? Wow that is delusional, conservatives make up at least 45% and maybe the majority of America. Do you live in a big city? The populations in the big cities are likely among the only places where its not the norm to say grace. Most households I've had dinner with in both America (and Canada where I live now) have said grace at the table.

[@beautifulbliss5883]

@@andrew348 Newsflash Democrats can be religious too.

[@webbess1]

@@beautifulbliss5883 There's a difference between being religious and being bigoted towards non-Christians. Why do you care so much if your guests are Christian?

[@beautifulbliss5883]

@@webbess1 I can care less what they vote for or what they believe in because they are family or Friends of the family or loved ones of family members. Other people just like that too. And it goes both ways of people being bigoted towards Christians. Just because of difference of beliefs doesn't mean we can treat each other subhuman.

[@lesliehermanns615]

As a Southerner, We say grace at every meal. It's to thank God for the meal before you and to be grateful to have food when so many don't.

[@spaceshiplewis]

When I was in Europe I was talking with a server at a restaurant, it was in a tourist destination so the servers were used to Americans chatting with them and they learned to be more interactive with the customer, the server did generally like having American customers the most because Americans usually, as he said, are more compassionate and forgiving to the staff than other customers of countries. Unless they are a serious karen, I reckon is reason for the added word "generally". But, it seems that Americans who are on vacation are having a good time and do enjoy spreading the joy monetarily. For Grace or Prayer, non-religious people during Thanksgiving or Christmas people usually do a toast or especially on Thanksgiving, spend a few moments going around the table sharing what they are thankful for during the year. In Japan they say a simple "Thank you for the meal." is a simple nice thing I feel that everyone should at least grow up saying, whether it is to God or the chef or to the food on the plate.

[@bev9036]

Grew up in and all English family here in the US. My grandmother always said grace before meals whereas my grandad was more in a hurry to get to his supper. I also grew up holding my knife and fork the English way and I still do. Americans keep changing hands after they cut anything.

[@ShannonLynn21]

Saying grace is really only a thing in religious households. My family and most of my friends never said grace.

[@SirNickyT]

Lol I've been to one home where they said Grace in 30 years. It's very old school and dying off fast. What we will do is if you're a guest to a large dinner is start the meal by raising a glass and thanking the chef and hosts for a cheers.

[@riverlady982]

I live in Michigan and the first time I spent around 5 days in Missouri I had some "culture shocks". Also what drinks or foods you can find can depend very much on the State. Families that pray before meals depends on the family. Also when they pray before meals, some do so before putting food on plates and others pray after everyone has filled their plates, no idea why.

[@Thediydog]

The food & drink culture shock is real! I’m from California and the last time I traveled in the Midwest I could not get a decent salad to save my life.

[@wendyg.3884]

i believe it depends on someone’s belief system. even people who don’t normally say grace will do so in large family gatherings and holidays. on thanksgiving it is really nice to go around the table and everyone says 1 thing they are grateful for. i think it is a great tradition. to have a grateful heart truly changes your perspective when you realize how blessed you are - instead of focusing on what you don’t have.

[@bamachine]

As for saying grace, probably 60% of US households do this at special occasions and probably 20% do it at every family meal.

[@mdgarner1]

I think it’s a bit higher than that depending on where in the US you’re from and it is especially true for those born and raised in the Bible Belt of the Southern states. Lol

[@bamachine]

@@mdgarner1 Oh, I am smack in the middle of it, my username is a hint to my location. I just averaged it out for the entire country.

[@ellenbryn]

I've only ever seen grace said with my father's Methodist relatives for Thanksgiving, and when I went to a big extended family reunion in Georgia. My mother's Jewish relatives didn't. I think it's important to remember, even if CERTAIN POLITICAL LEADERS DON'T (glares at a certain Texas senator) that America includes many different religions. Going around my neighborhood cul-de-sac, there's everything from atheists to Hindu to Hispanic Catholic to Korean Methodist to ....hm, I don't know what the Farsi family is... maybe Zoroastrian?... to Jewish to Evangelical Christian, and I doubt anyone but the Evangelicals say Grace? I'm 50, and I've never seen any family say grace except *some* of my father's Georgia relatives. So it may be somewhat regional?

[@bamachine]

@@ellenbryn Mostly protestants and Catholics say grace, even they, as a group, are not always devout about doing it. Also, not many families are all eating together daily, unlike when I was a kid(I am also 50).

[@injunsun]

We only ever did it for Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinner, only at my Methodist grandparents' house.

[@joshramirez37]

My family has only said grace on big holidays.. like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter... but just to do it at every meal I would say no.. but that's just my family

[@BrockMak]

I hold my cutleries (silverware, to me, means to use a spoon and fork like a pair of chopsticks or tongs, also a type of service in itself) the American way, and try not to use the knife as much as possible. However: When I have steak, I still cut them like the British way.

[@Jliske2]

In my neck of the woods in the southern mountains in the States, saying grace is very much a standard before a family meal. Some down here even teach their dogs to say grace before a meal.

[@lorddragon496]

My family says a series of prayers to bless our food, drink, and fortune every time we gather for meals, and we individually say prayers when eating on our own for any food or drink!

[@lorddragon496]

Well, in addition to prayers like for health and thanksgiving, of course! ^^

[@jetfowl]

What's truly annoying is that, in America, people seem to think it's perfectly fine to hold a telephone conversation on speaker-mode... at max volume. Where it can be heard throughout the entire restaurant. There's always one person in a restaurant that does it whenever you eat out.

[@jacobechele695]

I think a large percentage of Americans actually did say grace before every meal but in recent years it’s definitely become less common

[@leeannfitch3596]

I was raised with prayer. I thank God when I remember.

[@Dannib823]

I'm a lefty so I'm use to doing everything opposite of most. I also flip a lot since like most lefties I'm ambidextrous

[@jill9933]

I am the exact same way. I switch my hands when eating except for when I use a fork and knife. I have to have the fork in my right hand or it feels weird!

[@ElizabethDebbie24]

I am also a lefty and I agree 100% with you as we are forced to be ambidextrous as we live in a right handed world. I also use a corkscrew and a tin opener right handed as well

[@lelekahalepuna-wong9902]

In my family, we don't normally say grace before a meal. The only time we say grace before a meal is when we have a family gathering(both immediate and extended family) such as Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner.

[@BrockMak]

Since I'm from Hong Kong, tipping (before minimum wage came into force in 2019) came naturally to my parents, especially in Chinese restaurants, where tea or hot water already has a mandatory 10% surcharge.

[@cindysonenthal6512]

We also turn the fork over in our dominant (right) hand to stick food, then turn it right-side up again (tines up) to put in our mouths.

[@gettoyourpointagosta8539]

Saying grace - lots of families do, lots don't. Our family holds hands. It's not a formality for us, part of teaching children (and remembering) to be grateful.

[@m3li55a5]

We don’t say grace, but when we visit our family in the south we definitely expect it

[@trevynlane8094]

The Grace rule is entirely dependent on how religious the family is and if they are in public (and what the public event is). If you are a guest at someone else's home and they say grace, you respectfully give a moment of silence at the least. Same if you are eating at a church event (some churches sponsor a holiday meal for the poor on certain holidays). If your family says grace at other meals is entirely up to the individual family traditions.

[@evelynwashere13]

We use fork in the left hand (tines down) for cutting then switch hands for eating. Some things you poke the fork in and some is scooped depending on the type.

[@harryballsak1123]

We stab stuff with our forks too. We just put the fork in our mouths differently. Any meat is getting is defiantly stabbed. As far as spaghetti I just do the twirl thing. Grace is a pretty rare thing in the US now in most areas. Back when I was kid in the 1970's it was more common. I live in the Bible belt and even here a family saying grace a restaurant will get side eyed though I see it happen occasionally

[@jerryadams6799]

on that. yep rarely does one pray in a secular public venue such as an eating establishment. there is even scriptural support in a couple of places in the bible for not doing so in public.

[@jchow5966]

Im an American and my family only daid “grace” when er ertr kids I dont know any adults who say it except at Thanksgiving. Americans talk loud & a lot at meals- its all in fun!! No snobbiness!

[@renee176]

I think he forgot to mention we have spoons in the US. If we want to eat things that are small such as peas or corn for example, we just pick up a spoon and then relay the food into our mouths... easy peasy...lol. For our family we have always said grace and thanked the Lord for providing the meal it's just something that we do...especially in the south... but really to each their own. Now I have never been in a restaurant that the wait staff comes every 5 minutes...thank goodness! That would make their tip way less not more. During the meal I've had them come maybe two or three times before I left, but not every 5 minutes. I'm not sure what restaurant he went to, but I hope I never find it...lol!

[@katherinemcintosh7247]

Back during Revolutionary times, innkeepers began to require everyone to cut up all of the stuff they need to cut up and then put their knife down and fork in the right hand…this was to keep people from stabbing each other, which was quite a problem at inns during Revolutionary times. Everyone at that time was required to be right handed, so taking the knife out of the right hand was effective in keeping people from stabbing each other…another reason why we sometimes cut stuff with a fork. Our knives are on the table and it is a pain to do all of that hand switching.

[@JPMadden]

1) This right-handed American was taught to hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right when cutting food. When I'm done cutting I put the knife down and transfer the fork to my right hand and hold it the way Laurence demonstrated at 4:58 of your video. I don't have a problem with food falling off, although my elderly mother has switched to using a spoon more often because her hands are a bit unsteady. If I need to cut something soft, for example pancakes, I usually forego the knife, cutting while holding the fork sideways like at 5:21. Depending upon how the fork is held, some might consider stabbing the food to be the way a child would eat, at least for a more formal dinner. 2) The two sides of my family were raised in the Catholic Church. The Irish side never attend Mass and the Italian side infrequently. My Italian relatives do this weird thing where we say Grace before dinner only on the religious holidays of Christmas, Easter, and Saint Mary's Day (the feast day of Itri, Italy, birthplace of one set of great-grandparents). It is never said the rest of the year. Those of us who are irreligious behave just as Laurence does. I live in New England, where people tend to be less publicly demonstrative about religion than in much of the country. 3) I would say the volume of conversations varies in American restaurants similar to how you described British restaurants. Most people will also censor their language and behavior. 4) Waiters and waitresses often do ask you unsolicited if everything is satisfactory. I sometimes find it mildly annoying, but I understand they depend on tips. Here's a some advice for when you travel to the U.S.: you can pay by credit card in nearly all restaurants, but when I leave a tip I do so in cash, because some restaurants, particularly the national chains, have a nasty habit of keeping the tips. I usually tip 20%, or 15% if service was substandard (legally I could tip 0%, but I would be embarrassed to do so). 5) If you're going to eat spaghetti you need to learn how to twirl it with a fork. For this reason breaking the spaghetti in half before boiling it is a reliable way to start a fight with Italians!

[@avarievans7065]

If it's a food you can stab, usually you just poke the fork into it and eat with orientation he's showing. If it's something less dense but not liquid (mashed potatoes, veggies, things like that) you gather up what you can and eat. If it's difficult to gather into a clump (peas, kernel corn, chopped up bits, etc) you use a spoon. Cutting things like potatoes and whatnot with your fork is also definitely very common.

[@gdhaney136]

I believe that saying Grace before meals was much more prevalent in decades past. We said it growing up at our Grandparents house, or parents house on holidays. Religious membership has significantly decreased over the past 50 years, and therefore, many religious traditions. I do not say Grace, but if I'm at someone's home, I wait for it - and respect whatever my hosts traditions are.

[@zackgeldhof1206]

Oh man, if only I could bring you to one of my family gatherings. I don't pray myself as I am not religious in that way, but I do partake in grace with meals, and yes sometimes there is hand-holding. And yes, everyone is chattering and several conversations will be going on at once, and not everyone can fit at a table so we are sitting where we please. But this is for large family gatherings. Oh, and the standard now is 20 percent for tips.

[@maryjennings4913]

When it comes to table chatter, it all depends on the class of the restaurant you visit, here in the United States. In more expensive fine dining restaurants, people try to speak with a lower voice, to keep the noise levels lower than at a less expensive diner, or a fast food restaurant.

[@Prodigalzson]

We have a formal way and an informal way of using utensils. The informal way is how most people eat and his description is pretty accurate. Grace is extremely common but not universal. Most people have at least encountered it. Hand holding included.

[@MelaniePoparad]

I eat different foods in different ways. I scoop sometimes but i do the pointy way sometimes as well. The caveman way of eating is a bit more generational in my perspective. Like my grandparents and even some uncles ate a bit more like that.

[@JudyMenzel7]

The norm in the US with utensils...if right handed, holding fork in left to stab, knife insight to cut, then set knife down, switch fork to right, fork in scoop position to eat. Then, switch fork back to left, stab, knife in right to cut, etc. The majority of people eat this way.

[@kenmancini6088]

The fork needs to be used as a scoop for things like rice, peas and anything else that you can't stab. My family has never "said grace". The husband of one my sisters tried introducing "saying grace" but gave up on it after a couple of attempts. I'm not an expert on Bar Tipping but if you are sitting a a bar alone, a $5.00 drink should get an extra $1.00 (20%). Poofy drinks with a lot of fruit and paper umbrellas and a higher price tag, might get $2.00.

[@lindseyfox3396]

I always tip bartenders a ridiculous amount for the first drink. I'm 5' 4" and a little dumpy so I tend to get ignored if I don't 🙄

[@aliciaaz2356]

Texan here! We don't usually scoop, though. We use the tines to stab into food. If you need to scoop, we go for a spoon.