Brooke. Kevin. Amelia. This is My Story. (Read Description)

Please Read the description. (sorry for the length, this is a very vulnerable, personal video.)
Character Study: Brooke Davis. Kevin Pearson. Amelia Shepard.
Song: Paralyzed by NF
A little background on me for this video. Brooke Davis/Erin Lindsay is represented in 2 areas in this video. The first is the emptiness I felt when the little girl I was a nanny for for 5 years left to go travel the world. This little girl (I used Jamie from OTH in the video to represent because of the Jamie/Brooke relationship on OTH) was my world. Her mom is my best friend (sister really…) and when they left to travel the world, my world fell apart, they had become my family. I was soooo happy for them, this was their dream but I was also sad they were gone. With them gone, I was alone & didn't know where I belonged. The second part Brooke is represented is with the events and feelings I had with the ending of my marriage. Dean Winchester plays the role of my ex husband in this video. Kevin Pearson represents my struggle with alcohol from high school to now. His football is my soccer. While it wasn’t an injury that stopped me from playing (it was my drinking if I’m being honest) that feeling of what could have been in the soccer world has haunted me for years. It drove that feeling of not being good enough for years. You can be told how strong and great you are but if you don’t believe it yourself it doesn’t matter who or how many people are telling you. This can lead to pushing nearly everyone away. Amelia Shepherd represents my feelings of not knowing who I am or what I wanted to do with my life. I spent years as an assistant, business assistant and nanny for my best friend/sister (portrayed by Addison in the video). I really loved the work, loved being a part of her story but I wasn’t writing my own...something she helped me see and helped me work through. SHE wanted more for me than I wanted for myself and she really pushed me in so many ways to explore that and find what sets my soul on fire. She says the hard things and I can’t thank her enough for it. It’s a friendship, sisterhood that I will eternally be grateful for.
Sometimes characters on tv shows are more than just characters. Sometimes they are pieces of you, saying words you feel and doing things you do. Sometimes these words & things are the most painful parts of yourself that you have blocked or hidden deep inside and you hear something or see something and it breaks.you.down. Sometimes, that’s when the healing begins. This video is vastly different from anything I’ve created before. This is my story. There are stories we tell ourselves all our lives based on experiences we’ve had or things that have been said to us or things we have just told ourselves over the years. Those stories are not true. You can erase those stories and write new ones. Manifest them. Become them.
When I came up with the idea of this video I was in a time in my life where I was completely lost and drinking heavily. When I finally started working on this video I was newly sober and trying to find my next steps. It started as a justification for why I was so sad and lost and as Brooke would say “standing still.” What happen over the course of the 7 months I worked on this video was complete and utter transformation. Scenes changed, voiceovers evolved, I began healing. Some people journal or go to therapy. I edit video and dig deep through doing Inner Genius and Strengths Sessions with my best friend who is 100% more like a sister. I take the time to invest in myself so I can find my Genius and live the life I’ve always wanted. 294 days ago was my rock bottom...again. Through investing in myself and creating this video, I’ve healed from many stories I used to tell myself. It doesn’t mean I don’t still have rough days, I do but I choose to live in my strengths and use the tools I gained in my sessions to manifest the life I know I want. Today, I own a healthy shake & clean energy shop and get to impact my community each and every day. This would not have happened without the healing, without me rewriting my story and the stories I had been telling myself. If you made it this far...thank you for reading.