Brooklyn 99 Jokes I Can't Believe They Got Away With | Brooklyn Nine-Nine

I can't believe they got away with these jokes!
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ABOUT BROOKLYN NINE-NINE
"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" follows the exploits of hilarious Det. Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) and his stoically ever-professional captain, Raymond Holt (Andre Braugher), along with their diverse, lovable colleagues as they police the NYPD's 99th Precinct. In this final season of the series, Jake and the squad must try to balance their personal lives and their professional lives over the course of a very difficult year.
Rounding out the ensemble is Sgt. Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumera), who has a passion for organization and a weakness for dork dancing; Lt. Terry Jeffords (Terry Crews), a mountain of a man whose most powerful muscle is his sweetheart; Jake's best friend and human puppy dog, Det. Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio); and the incredibly secretive, tough-as-nails Rosa Diaz (Stephanie Beatriz). Also part of the Nine-Nine are veteran officers Det. Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller) and Det. Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker), whose only skill as police officers is their ability to make a passable pot of coffee.
Created by Emmy Award-winning writer/producers Dan Goor and Michael Schur, "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" won the 2014 Golden Globe Awards for Best Television Series - Comedy or Musical and Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Comedy or Musical (Samberg). Emmy winner Braugher earned four Emmy nominations for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series for his role as Capt. Holt.
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[@user-li2fy4hu7p]

Didnt this show get cancelled?

[@olatundedave]

"Maybe I don't have an Arch nemesis because I solve all my crimes" What a burn 🔥🔥🤣🤣

[@pforgottonsoul]

also inaccurate.

[@islasullivan3463]

^Right we all know Terry’s nemesis is cats.

[@olatundedave]

@@pforgottonsoul How?

[@corvos3719]

@@olatundedaveThe cat he blamed for a robbery he wasn't able to solve, and all the cats his squadmates from the time sent him..

[@LetThatStuffGo]

@@islasullivan3463 That is correct. Terry hates cats. 🐱

[@visualconfusionlh]

I love how open-minded Jake is. The pegging worked!

[@musaabid1055]

Amy definitely pegs Jake 😭

[@YABOIMIKEYBOI]

Are you NOT LMAO

[@artobaron399]

the clearly necrophilic girlfriend too worked for him

[@musaabid1055]

I wholeheartedly believe Amy pegged Jake after this...

[@user-us3jy2mb5r]

Definitely must've tried it but i feel like he would get exhausted to quick lol​@@musaabid1055

[@globbyakaweirdjellyguy954]

That “This B needs a C in her A” line will always be hilarious, especially with both of their expressions.😂😂😂 Also, I definitely agree with Holt on no follow up questions for Hitchcock.😳😣

[@SunGawdRa]

I will never not love that joke!

[@elsapartridge]

The b needs a c in her a is my favourite scene in b99, I just find it very funny lol

[@blazeisobel8885]

I will literally never forget my dad’s shocked guffaw at that lmao it’s what makes it one of my favorite scenes

[@JSmellerM]

@@elsapartridge What, your favourite scene isn't the Backstreet Boys one?

[@elsapartridge]

@@JSmellerM one of, but not my fav

[@jakeob3125]

"That's a pretty f*cked up thing to say to me" kills me 🤣

[@spencerkagen1386]

The double-pause is the best part; you could cut that tension with a Barbie butter knife

[@cluelesssoldier]

How deep his voice gets for that line. lmao

[@DodderingOldMan]

"This B needs a C in her A" is genuinely one that shocked me, mainly because a) that's exactly where my mind went, and b) they bleep just enough so you can clearly get what he's saying.

[@nightsgrow6575]

It was such a good joke to make it clear they were on a new network

[@samfisher6606]

Maybe my favorite B99 running gag is the not-so-subtle hints of how kinky Peraltiago is.

[@KeithFraser82]

"Hints"?

[@achillescomedown]

oh nah they basically slapped us across the face w amy's strap

[@samfisher6606]

@@achillescomedown I did say "not-so-subtle"

[@megumulberry]

WHAT STRAP I NEVER NOTICED THIS@@achillescomedown

[@marcocardia3960]

"do it harder"

[@mummifiedgoose15]

Jake's fake therapist and Amy lying about being pregnant are still some of the worst things that happened during the heists

[@crockgobbler]

Or that time she made him think he was in a coma and that she married teddy for the heist

[@kranberry3318]

@@crockgobbler No, they didn’t get married, he was just there for her physically.

[@jkta97]

@@kranberry3318That’s so much worse!

[@blusafe1]

Hitchcock taking meds prescribed for someone else I'm sure was multiple crimes.

[@petersonp84]

Worse/Better??

[@VivaLaDnDLogs]

"Do you happen to know my blood type?" "B+" "Yep, guessed wrong. Hey Craig?" 🤣

[@soumyai8579]

Explain pls

[@Iliadic]

​​@@soumyai8579Jake didn't know his own blood type, guessed, and the EMT gave him the wrong one. The wrong blood type in your system is EXTREMELY deadly if not dealt with FAST. However, the EMT would've given him O-, the universal donor. Unless you're AB-, you can receive O+ blood without issue. AB- can only receive AB-. That said, one of the symptoms of the incorrect blood type being given is a "sense of impending doom".

[@soumyai8579]

@@Iliadic oh! 😂🤣😂🤣that's a creative one Thanks for explaining

[@lieslkang7233]

⁠@@IliadicActually, AB- can receive any negative blood type. O- can only receive O-. And O+ can only receive both types of O.

[@Iliadic]

@@lieslkang7233 Oh. For some reason I had that switched around.

[@musaabid1055]

That *pegging* joke was everything 😭

[@AlbertaGeek]

"Wait - we're allowed to say 'labia' again?" "...Labia!"

[@Vigil_FF80]

Labia :D

[@nikhileshkillada4217]

Pimento saying that he won't kill kids as a rule but that rule is negotiable if the kid's a d-word😂😂

[@thesourpatchkidd579]

My favorite thing is that the cops at the 99th precinct follow the "three strikes and your out" rule- two detectives and a captain watched Adrian do 3 bumps of coke before they intervened lol. Jake did the same with Sophia's boss lol

[@mrraamsridhar]

Oh wow

[@Bubaiel]

That’s a thing? 😂

[@MrOtistetrax]

It’s also just the comedy “rule of threes”. But that’s a great observation, so let’s roll with it.

[@arm279145]

Comedy comes in threes!

[@annetanoh3891]

"And yet crime has continued" The best line😂😂😂😂

[@officialboomtish214]

“-aaand he hung himself. Ohhh my god. Guard! GUAAARD!” 😂🤣

[@allfungames7210]

The, “SHE’S FAKE” line is beyond the best in regards to therapist

[@Mr_Mimestamp]

2:11 the “Hitchcock’s tattoo” joke was so good, I remember having to pause the episode the first time I watched it because of how much I was laughing

[@Novakane78]

I laugh til I can't breathe every time

[@hestoceles]

I never bothered to look it up but I always hoped that Dirk Blocker got that tattoo for real, even if it was after the episode was done filming. That would be hilarious

[@phousefilms]

LMAO, the way he's just shoving the gun into his mouth, XD!

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

@@hestoceles No, it wouldn't be, it only works within the context of the comedy show.

[@nathanshaffer3749]

Kinda brought back the trauma of the time I watched the Budd Dwyer video back in the day.

[@olatundedave]

"Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that. Nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows thaaat" 😂😂😂

[@thepayne7862]

That one always gets me, I know the joke is coming I know the punchline but I always laugh.

[@olatundedave]

@@thepayne7862 same here 🤣🤣

[@spencerkagen1386]

Jake saying "NGL, that turns me on a little bit" at the whole squad wanting to embarrass him is PEAK TELEVISION.

[@sea.foam.1832]

wait please tell me the timestamp or episode 😭

[@seby912]

@@sea.foam.18328:23 and I think it’s Halloween 2 but not sure

[@The-Jai-5328]

6:49 terry's face let's you know that he knows how savage he is and he loves it

[@starlinggray9498]

Probably my all time favourite Terry moment. His face gets me every single time

[@calledcookie1468]

6:41 That awkward Silence gets me everytime 😭

[@bruhbruh4635]

Got em

[@CompagnonDeMisere25]

Phone ringing on the background is the cherry on top

[@LetThatStuffGo]

5:38 "You betcha nips it did, skidmark!" The way Hitchcock said that with such conviction. Yeah! 😂🍻

[@mainly_marvel]

the thumbnail is insane 😭😭😭

[@Emily-sx7vd]

I like ur pfp

[@mainly_marvel]

@@Emily-sx7vd free palestine 🇵🇸❤️

[@Emily-sx7vd]

@@mainly_marvel fr

[@musaabid1055]

THE *PEGGING* WORKED

[@user-nb2lw4vj2z]

Atleast make sure you name yourself accordingly to your pfp! That energy should be shown through and through imo!

[@ericdavis9788]

The fact that Boyle never hears himself is really horrifying. Hitchcock's gross too, but at least he means it.

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

I suggest you learn what ''horrifying'' actually means.

[@ORiOh4582]

@yevgeniyaleshchenko849 only if you learn what hyperbole means first

[@thetuerk]

8:10 One of Captain Holts most glorious moments, made me jump up from my seat when he brutalized that guy!

[@vladtheimpaler9577]

Anyone else on a coping marathon after Andre Braugher's (Captain Holt) passing? God rest his soul.

[@ker_possible]

I sure was in December.

[@WrathOfGrapesN7]

Yeah, I started a binge the day I found out. RIP Velvet Thunder.

[@williamdoyle2063]

Was just watching these on a Sunday morning, had almost forgot that he's gone. RIP fella.

[@CollinMcLean]

"Maybe I don't have an Arch nemesis because I solve all my crimes" Dayum! Change Terry's name to Wario because Jake just got beat!

[@matthewbartlett3442]

Terry cheats!😦

[@TheDocV627]

"nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows that..." "nobody ask Hitchcock why he knows THAT.." hahahahahahahahha

[@brocephus1107]

"Anybody wanna listen to Jamiroquai right now?" gets me every time

[@idanlewenhoff2295]

the bit with the tattoo is so underrated its hilarious you pulled the trigger man that was a suicide!

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

How do you get to decide what's underrated?

[@bobjose1122]

Guessing wrong on your blood type is crazyyyy ❤

[@walakalak]

Just to reassure you, in real life usually they always give o neg (universal donor) until the blood type is confirmed AT the hospital, not the ambulance. But yeah that was crazy 😂

[@padmefoster1543]

Team "Brooklyn Nine-Nine is the best show on television ever!" NINE NINE!

[@growlerthedog]

NINE NINE

[@roselinekilonzo3296]

NINE NINE!!!

[@user-rv8sm1bp1m]

NINE NINE!!!!

[@Hermione_Granger]

NINE NINE!!

[@alphanerd7221]

Move over Mad Men and Cheers. We have a goofy cop show here.

[@rentisme]

I kind of want the hand thing to not be censored, I'm really curious what he did but I guess I'll never know... probably for the best.

[@76tennboy]

“All you Gotta do is close your nostril when you go down“! Good advice!

[@SanskritiSingS]

Pimento is my favourite 🔥🔥 the unhinging is real

[@avetrotter1356]

the thing i love about "this b needs a c in her a" is jake is so down

[@yevgeniyaleshchenko849]

Of course he is..

[@rickyjkuron5275]

Amy, It worked! The Pegging worked

[@Lanwarder]

Yeah I can't believe they got away with "Get used to these faces or get used to unemployment" I mean, woooooahh, it's such a risqué joke....lol

[@myeyesdontbreathe3555]

I don't get it

[@Lanwarder]

@@myeyesdontbreathe3555 Well the title of the video is "Brooklyn 99 Jokes I can't Believe They Got Away With" and one of the jokes is just Jake and Gina walking into a rich people's private club and saying "Get used to these faces or get used to unemployment"....I don't see how they are "getting away" with anything with that joke, so I sarcastically pretended that it was a super risqué joke when in fact it's a pretty moderate line that hasn't a lot to do with anything.....I am basically saying that the title of the video isn't a very good description of the actual content of the video...which happens pretty often on this channel.

[@ayoquis22]

brooklyn 99 def have some crazy jokes 🤣🤣

[@thisismetrying17]

The bill clip caught me off guard when i first saw it😂😂

[@whatwelearned]

Bill's face and that audio always kills me

[@she-hulkSMASHES]

Pimento doing coke always kills me 😂😂

[@MrOtistetrax]

It’s the “where did you GET this?!” that slays me the hardest. You know he’d finish that whole bag if they didn’t stop him.

[@prairiefirewildernessskills]

"you bet your nips it did, skidmark!" is still one of the best lines of the entire show.

[@LetThatStuffGo]

Just before one of the greatest burns 💀 in the show's existence: 6:37 - _"You sound so _*_dumb_*_ right now..."_ The way Andy said that is so hilarious. 😂

[@FizzyPoping]

Dear youtube Hitchcock quote “blowing smoke of the barrel” unquote is one of my favorite jokes ever. Sincerely Fizzypop

[@NeddyMontz]

0:15 I can't with the pegging 💀🤣 Amy 2:14 Hitchcock's gun tattoo had me wheezing on the floor ☠ I can't

[@ashleydecruz]

THANKS FOR KEEPING BROOKLYN 99 ALIVE X

[@sidthesloth12]

"Anybody wanna listen to Jamiroquai right now?" makes me laugh everytime

[@yurikraucs4161]

Pimento being pimento is tha bomb!

[@albertosdad4187]

The pimento scene with the cocaine is my second favourite scene after the lineup karaoke.

[@Narmatonia]

5:00 With that hair Jake looks like he’s N-Sync right now

[@pickled323]

"We have much content to stream" 😂. I'm definitely gonna use that

[@ItsPauValenzuela]

Of all compilations of B99 I've watched, this one is my favorite so far. And I just understood the pegging joke, after all these years🤣

[@BeckyM2000]

"Vitamin B is the best Vitamin" best line from Pimento😂

[@ax3flam3h3art8]

0:11 Charles: What is that supposed to represent? Me and Jake: Nobody answer that!😨

[@GuardIAN4546B]

“Pegging isn’t new for me friendo, but it’s is for Disney”

[@darthplagueis7055]

“It’s visiting day” isn’t something I think I’d be yelling inside of a prison shower… 😂

[@repealthepatriotact]

This show needed 6 more seasons, even after Andre Braugher died 2 years after it ended. Was one of the best casted and written shows over the last 10 years.

[@hamishfox]

"anybody wanna listen to jamiroquai right now" Omg I can't breathe

[@mychaeljones7526]

I love that I am rewatching this.

[@GrowthNGodPod]

“Wait, we’re allowed to say labia again?” …“Labia” 🤣🤣

[@0Onyx13]

Pimento openly snorting coke in front of 3 cops is the funniest thing ever 😂

[@touremuhammad5983]

3:18 Archer says, “Hey! Phrasing!!”

[@bmohrweis1461]

This is how I find out Eugene Lee Yang is in Brooklyn 99 lol

[@FriscoFlame]

2:30 may be the hardest I've ever laughed in absolute horror

[@mulgerbill]

Terry after brutally smacking Jake down while talking nemeses "It's a police insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now"

[@Sunprism]

Hitchcock's tattoo is my favorite gag in the entire series, and I don't know why!

[@mranon9902]

my fav is "This B needs a C in her A" 😂😂😂

[@mohirender]

Adrian just eating the cocaine 😂

[@fhdang8978]

RIP captain holt. ):

[@scout6436]

Jake's "HERE WE GO" will ALWAYS crack me up

[@AoiKanzaki-h2i]

The Kevin one 😂😂😂

[@kpmalnad9053]

Eating the evidence!!

[@WilliamTotten]

RIP Andre Braugher. Oh Captain, my Captain.

[@chrissiebawn9357]

Thank you for ALWAYS making me SMILE 😀🤣🙏❤

[@elginvenable5358]

We can say labia again? Is insanely hilarious

[@dalesnider8040]

Thanks you guys, now I'm addicted to Vitamin B.

[@Tigerheart01]

"Wait, we're allowed to say labia again?"

[@bemasaberwyn55]

That Jamariqui line is so inderrated 😂😂

[@mychaeljones7526]

7:16 😂😂😂😂😂

[@dimwarlock]

Yeah, sometimes I laugh before going "that's messed up and I'm not going to think about it"

[@ahmedatia727]

6:20 my favorite part ever lmaooo

[@sarahshaikh82]

Why is no one talking about how jake guessed his blood group wrong 🤡💀. That was crazyy mahnn 😬

[@natsuuma]

HELPPPPP THE “this b needs a c in her a” LINE 😭😭 IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO UNDERSTAND

[@dvdhound79]

Pimento's fake snorting scene is my favorite Pimento scene.

[@gggggg-nv7yc]

i love how terry does the zoolander face after destroyinh jake

[@geauxtigrs]

One of the funniest shows in a long time. So disappointed it was canceled.

[@carmeldebertaut5736]

Nothing will ever beat " this B needs a C in her A." That said, the pegging line was pretty funny too.

[@peachesandcream2013]

Crazy that they didn’t include when Amy twisted Jake’s wrist and he tells her to do it harder

[@AldrickExGladius]

Dont worry about it Jake that was ALL of our reactions lol

[@cryby865]

Basically all of boyles lines

[@xinranli1800]

7:42 my favourite scene in this video

[@EthanC_09]

They need to revamp this series! Terry is the new captain and Amy is sergeant.

[@fishy7417]

You got to admit that Jake and Amy are the cutest couple in TV history

[@broitsmikey]

Mister 99 tattoo is the best joke of all time

[@PtolemyJones]

Heck, they got away with saying 'the scissoring' over and over on Victorious, a kid's show.

[@ZiggyGamma]

The jail hanging im legit shocked they got away with.

[@galiciaart]

Nobody asks Hitchcock why he knows that hahahaha

[@deeobrien5417]

Oo I got a full snout full that time! 😂😂😂

[@seanruebush1273]

I love pamento fake doing coke. "I got so much that time."